SINCERELY, THE PUCK BUNNY

MAREN MOORE
 Copyright © 2021 by Maren Moore/R. Holmes
All rights reserved.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, businesses, companies, organizations, locales,
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Cover Design: Cat with TRC DESIGNS

Formatting: Maren Moore
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To all the girls who deserve love the way Briggs Wilson gives it.
You are beautiful, just the way you are.
Never settle.
 PLAYLIST

Casanova- Blake Rose

Dancing in the kitchen- LANY
Wishful Drinking- Ingrid Andress, Sam Hunt
Body (Slowed) -Rosenfield
Emily- James Arthur
To be loved- Adele
Miss You a Little- Bryce Vine
Figure You Out- VOILA

Click here to listen to the full playlist on Spotify

 CONTENTS

One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
Twenty Three
Twenty Four
Twenty Five
Twenty Six
Twenty Seven
Twenty Eight
Twenty Nine
Thirty
Thirty One
Thirty Two
Thirty Three
Epilogue
Also By Maren Moore
Reed
Connect with Maren on social media!
Acknowledgments
ONE
 THEN

SECOND CHANCES ARE RARELY EVER easy. Take it from me, a guy
who’s done more than his share of fucking up the last few years. Truth be
told, I’ve lost track of what chance I’m on, and this time, I’m giving it all
I’ve got. While that might not be admittedly much, I’m trying.
I hear that’s what matters.
From the team appointed shrink that is, but I figure if I have to sit there
for a mandatory hour of listening to him talk, I should take something from
it. Besides the headache when I leave.
After all, the shrink is what put me here, coaching youth hockey, in the
first place.
“When you’re holding your stick, get a firm grip on the shaft of the
stick. Do what feels comfortable, but you want to be able to keep it close,
so you still have enough room to maneuver it how you need to, even when
battling a guy for the puck.”
A dozen helmet-clad eight year olds’ nod at my instructions.
“Alright, let’s do some puck practice. Ten minutes. I want you to get
familiar with your stick and the puck before we really start moving on the
ice.”
I blow the ridiculously loud whistle, and the kids disperse to their spots
on the ice to practice the drill.
 There are a lot of things I’m good at. Like pissing my coach off in two
seconds’ flat. Generally, that requires at least one of the following things:
whiskey, a puck bunny, or a camera. Sometimes fighting, sometimes
spending the night in a jail cell until I’m sober enough to walk out on my
own.
I never said any of the things I was good at were good things. Most of
the time, they’re not. But, if there’s one rewarding thing in my life, besides
playing professional hockey for the Avalanches, it’s this. Coaching the
Mighty Pucks. The youth hockey team for underprivileged kids that my
team sponsors. What started as a punishment for my behavior and the only
way to keep my spot on the team, turned into one of the only things I look
forward to when waking up in the mornings. It gives me a purpose. A way
to repent for everything that I have fucked up.
Then I realized how much these kids need me, and nothing comes close
to the feeling of pride, watching something I’ve taught them, clicking in
their eyes and seeing it unfold on the ice. If anything, though, I’m the one
who needs them. They taught me patience and understanding. They showed
me what really matters in life. Funny how quickly things can change.
“Hey Coach Wilson, like this?” Nolan Alfred asks, showing me how he
maneuvers the puck in a circle around him.
“Perfect. Keep practicing, just like that. You should be able to do it with
your eyes closed.”
He scrunches his nose and tries to close his eyes to skate in a circle, and
then loses his footing and falls hard onto the ice. It won’t be the last fall he
has, and definitely not the worst, but each time you fall… you learn from it.
Which way to not hit the puck, which way to avoid the defense trying to
steal it from right underneath your nose. I can sit here all day and teach
someone how to hit a puck into a net, but what I’m teaching these kids goes
beyond that.
 Most of these kids come from a less-than-ideal home situation. Whether
they’re in foster care, group homes, or with relatives who’ve taken them in.
Some of their parents are junkies, some are in jail, some are dead. You can
see it in their eyes that being here, having the opportunity to play hockey,
it’s the highlight of their day. When I pulled my head out of my ass and
stopped being such a selfish fuck, I realized that I was the lucky one to be
able to come here and teach them. It’s my way of repenting for the things
I’ve done.
Of all the shit I’ve been through in the past few years, of all the times
that I thought I hit rock bottom, only to fall further, and of all the people
who tried to save me from it, it took a bunch of kids to make me see the
light of day. Go figure.
My phone begins vibrating in the pocket of my sweats, over and over,
causing my head to begin pounding in sync with the incessant buzzing.
There’s only one person who calls a minimum of ten times if I don’t pick
up.
Mom.
I pull it from my pocket and reject the call, then switch it from vibrate
to silent. I can’t deal with her, not right now. It’s been over a week since
I’ve answered her calls because my heads fucked up, and when I’m in this
headspace, the less I have to deal with my family, the better.
I push it out of my head and focus on the kids. They’re eager and
willing to learn this season, which makes practice fly by at a faster than
normal pace, and before I know it, it’s time to leave.
“Alright guys, see you here on Wednesday. Practice at home if you have
free time, make sure to work on skating backwards, and what’s the number
one rule?” I ask the crowd.
“Don’t be afraid of the ice,” they chant in unison.
“Good, have a good night.”
 As they start to pack up, I keep an eye on all of the kids. Some are new
this year, and I don’t know much about them. Except what their info sheet
says. Then, some are repeat kids from last year and with me for another
year before they move up in the league.
Soon, everyone’s gone but one kid. I noticed him when he first walked
into practice today. Quiet, and probably the smallest kid on the team. Didn’t
have much to say to anyone but followed every direction I gave him. It’s
obvious this isn’t his first time playing hockey, but I haven’t had the chance
to spend any one-on-one time with him yet.
Jake is his name.
I watch as he shoots the puck over and over into the empty net. His
unkempt, shaggy black hair falls into his eyes. I noticed most of practice he
was pushing it from his face, and when his helmet was on, it was almost
covering his eyes. When I skate to him, he looks up at me with bright,
striking green eyes that seem to go with the smattering of mismatched
freckles along his nose.
“Your slap shot’s good,” I tell him.
He nods, his gaze connecting with mine for a moment before he diverts
it back to the net. “I’ve been practicing for a long time. Kids pick on me.
Say I’m too small to have a powerful shot.”
Kids are fucking brutal. I remember those days. I was a small kid, and it
took a lot of practice and hard work before anyone took me seriously.
“Nah, not true. I know plenty of guys who aren’t built like a brick
shithouse and have powerful slap shots.”
Jake looks at me with wide eyes, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes
again. He quickly pushes it out of his face to watch me.
“It’s not just about your size, it’s about technique. The trick is to keep
practicing. Every day, do a hundred shots back-to-back in the net. But do it
with the opposite hand. You left-handed?”
He nods, so I take the stick and put it in his right hand.
 “Do it with your right hand. Your body has muscle memory, and your
muscles are used to you shooting with the left. You practice with your right
hand, a hundred shots a day, then you’ll get that permanent muscle memory.
It’s all about repetition. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t; prove ‘em
wrong. Show them that you can.”
Using my stick, I shoot with the opposite hand, and the puck hits the net
so fast Jake’s eyes can hardly watch as it flies.
“Holy shit,” he whispers in awe.
“Language,” I say sternly, even though I was saying way worse shit at
his age. “Another thing, when you’re at home, practicing with the net, make
sure you’re bending your knees, just like you would on the ice. Don’t stand
straight up, use the power from your legs and your body to get that shot in
there.”
“This is awesome. Thanks, Coach.”
I nod, feeling pride swell in my chest. It feels good to teach these kids;
it feels good to give back after all the fucking up I’ve done.
“Your ride coming?” I ask.
“Yeah, my foster dad has to work late sometimes.” He shrugs. “I’ll just
practice some more while I wait.”
“Want me to give you a ride?”
He looks shocked that I would even offer. With eyes slightly wide, he
asks, “Really?”
I shrug. “Got nothing else to do.”
“I can just walk. I do sometimes, from school and stuff. It’s not a big
deal.”
“Where do you live?”
“Southside. 42nd Street.” His voice is low. He’s been walking to the
Southside at night? That’s at least thirty minutes by car.
“It’s on the way. Here, call your dad and let them know I'll drop you
off.”
 Jake nods, then takes my phone that I’m extending toward him. While
he’s talking to his parent, I get my skates off and put on my Nikes, then
shove everything back into my hockey bag.
I’m finishing up when he skates over, off the ice.
“He says thank you. His meeting ran over at work. Thanks for bringing
me home. I appreciate it.” He looks down at his skates.
“No big deal. Let’s go.”
I unlock my truck as we walk toward it, and he climbs in the passenger
seat. Before I even have to tell him, I hear the seatbelt click. The drive to
the Southside is quiet. Jake stares out the window, his hands folded in his
lap.
“Keep practicing that shot, and you’ll have it down in no time. If you
ever want a little extra time on the ice, or one-on-one practice, just let me
know,” I tell him as I drive.
“You... you’d do that?”
I shrug. “I’m the coach. I gotta make sure you know what you’re doing;
otherwise, I’ll look bad.”
He grins, nodding. “Okay. Cool.”
We ride the rest of the way in silence until I pull down his street. The
houses are rundown and unkept, most of them look like they’d fail an
inspection. Not like the city comes much to this part of town, unless
something makes the news.
“Last house on the right,” he says, pointing at a pale blue Victorian-
style home with rotting fascia and shutters hanging in the front. The grass is
tall, but otherwise, the property is cleaned up, just in a run-down condition.
“Thanks again for the ride, Coach. I’ll keep practicing and watch, I'll be
even better at practice next week!” he exclaims, giving me a wide,
snaggled-tooth grin.
And this is why I do what I do, this is why I continue to coach these
kids even though my own coach is no longer requiring it as some ‘clean-up
my act’ good publicity shit. These kids want someone to look up to and
that’s what I’m going to give them.
“Yeah, anytime. Bye Jake.”
He grabs the door handle, then flings the door open, grabbing his
hockey bag from the back seat and runs inside.
All I can think about the entire ride home is that I probably made that
kid’s day and how fucking good it felt. Then, I pull in the driveway to my
house and see my mother’s Mercedes parked in the driveway, and I groan.
Well, there goes that.
Damnit.
I should’ve known she’d turn up here after I’ve avoided her calls and
texts for the past week. I’ve been in a funk these past couple of months, and
honestly, dealing with my mother is the last thing I want to do.
I slam the truck in park, then hop out and get my hockey bag, slinging it
over my shoulder before walking up my driveway.
When I open the door and walk through the foyer and into the kitchen,
my mother is sitting at my kitchen table, folding a pair of my briefs. It
seems like she’s been here a while since all of the rest of the clothes are
folded into piles on the table in front of her.
“Hi Mom,” I say, tossing my keys into the bowl on the kitchen table.
“Hi, honey.”
I love her, I do. She’s my mom, but, she forgets that I’m a grown man,
and every single time she comes over and makes herself at home when I’m
not here, I regret the day I decided to give her a key.
“I just wanted to stop by and check on you. I haven’t heard from you all
week and you didn’t answer when I called earlier, so here I am.” She
laughs.
“Yes, here you are. Mom, you don’t have to do that. I’ve told you a
thousand times.”
 She shrugs, offering me a small smile, then blows a piece of blonde
wispy bang that has fallen free from the loose bun at her neck. “I know
Briggs, but it’s what Moms do. They take care of their babies… even if they
are grown now.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it, nonetheless.”
Walking over, I give her a quick hug, drawing her into my arms.
Sometimes, I wish things were different, and I wasn’t as fucked up as I
am… at least for her sake. I hate that she has to be in the middle of all of
this.
Mom pulls back and pats my cheek. “You need to shave this, it’s getting
long.”
“I will.”
“I came over to see if you would come to dinner this weekend, as a
favor. For me.”
She takes my hands in hers, gazing up at me with hope in her eyes.
Unease unfurls in the pit of my stomach, latching onto my insides and
billowing outward. Family dinners used to be a weekly thing with our
family. Before. Every Sunday, my brother and I would head to Mom and
Dad’s for dinner and to catch whatever hockey game was on. It didn’t
matter where we were, or what we had planned, we’d drop it to make sure
we were there. Seeing the way her face lit up, and she’d give us a real smile
every time we walked through the door made whatever sacrifice we made
to be there, worth it.
I hate to be the one to crush her hopes every time she tries to put our
family back together, but some things…just can’t be fixed.
“Mom…” My jaw steels as I clench my teeth together. It seems like the
same old wound, still raw with pain, continually rips back open at every
turn. The constant reminder that at the end of the day, I’m the one
preventing our family from being whole again. Even if it was my brother
who destroyed it in the first place.
 Brushing past her, I walk to the fridge and pull out a Gatorade,
desperate for a moment to regain my composure. I have to remind myself
that I’m not that guy anymore. I’ve worked too hard to let the man I am
now slip through my fingers.
“Briggs, honey, I know... I know you are still hurting, but we’re your
family. Your father and I miss you, your brother…”
I cut my eyes at her at the mention of him. “I’m not ready. I won’t be
ready, for a long time, Mom. Look, I miss the way things used to be too. I
miss when things weren’t so badly messed up… I just can’t. I’m sorry if
that hurts you.”
Mom’s face falls and I almost regret my words, but there’s too much
history. Too much anger. Too much betrayal. Not only did my brother
destroy the relationship between he and me, leaving it in irreparable pieces,
he tore our entire family apart.
“I understand, I just wish that things were different. I wish that as your
mother, I could take away the pain that you’re feeling. I wish I could fix
this.”
Shaking my head, I say, “But you can’t, Mom. That’s the truth, and it’s
better if you accept it for what it is. I have. Dad has. He’s made his position
on the matter more than apparent, and he’s standing by Beau, no matter
what. Right or wrong.”
Tears well in her eyes, as she walks over to me, pulling me into her
arms. “I’m sorry, Briggs. Your dad... He- Your dad loves you. I hope you
know that, despite anything else, we both love you. So much.”
Most of the time when my mother comes over, we avoid talking about
our family turmoil at all costs, so this conversation reopens old wounds,
causing the pain to consume me once more. Not that it has ever gone away,
not by any means; it’s more like a dull, aching kind of pain that’s always
there, just under the surface.
“I’ll call you soon, okay?” I tell her.
 She sniffles but pulls back, and quickly wipes away her tears. “You
going anywhere for the off-season?”
I shrug, not really having thought about a vacation. “Probably not. I’m
coaching the Mighty Pucks still, and we’re gearing up for games. Can’t
miss it.”
“It makes me so happy that you’re still involved with those kids. I’m
proud of you.” She gives me a quick hug, minus the tears this time, before
picking her purse off the table in the foyer and walking toward the front
door. “I know you can’t see it right now, but you’ve changed Briggs. I see it
each time I look at you. Soon that pain in your heart will fade, and the kind
of man you are, once that pain fades, is what matters. I love you.”
The door shuts behind her, and for the rest of the night, I keep replaying
her words in my head.
What kind of man would I be once my soul wasn’t so charred and
broken?
 TWO

I REREAD THE ARTICLE AGAIN, like I haven’t already memorized yet

another jab from the girl who hides behind her keyboard. Maybe it
shouldn’t bother me so much, but it fucking does. Partially because I don’t
know who she is, and partially because she’s right.
It never fails. She always hits the nail on the head, driving it home,
further making me feel like shit about something I’ve undoubtedly fucked
up. Like it isn’t enough that I’ve done it to myself, the entire world has to
partake in my downfall.
“I mean who does she think she is?” I grumble, my finger punching the
screen angrily as I scroll. “Why me? Why single me out, out of all the
assholes in the NHL?”
The anonymous sports blogger who calls herself THE Puck Bunny has
been making my life hell since the day she discovered I was someone who
would make her job easier. She mostly reports on stats, hockey scores and
hockey related gossip, but for whatever reason, she hates me. And I don’t
just mean a strong dislike, I mean she loathes me. Every single time she’s
mentioned my name on that damn site, it’s been to drag it through the mud
and I can’t figure out why she’s so damn fixated on me.
“You give her enough shit to write about, she’s gonna keep writing it,
duh.” Graham shrugs then groans, deep and dramatically. The controller in
his hand goes flying when he dies, yet again, on whatever game he’s
playing on the Xbox. It narrowly misses the seventy-inch flat screen on my
wall and I narrow my eyes at him. Best friend or not, don’t fuck with my
man cave, especially not my tv.
“If you break my tv with your rage problems, you’re buying me another
one. Ten inches bigger. No, make it twenty.” I toss back the rest of my beer
before setting the bottle back on the table in front of me. “And who cares
about what I do? Out of all the athletes in the world, she chooses me to
focus her bitter bullshit on.”
"Who even said it’s a girl? Don’t be sexist, Briggs.” Hudson, my other
best friend, and defenseman for the Avalanches, shakes his head. "I mean,
you can assume because she uses lips in her signature, but it could be a guy
in touch with his feminine side. I’m just saying.”
Shit, I never thought about that. But then again, I try my best not to
think about her at all. Which she seemingly makes impossible since I’m the
trending topic on her site more often than not. Because I’m a glutton for
punishment, I have a keyword alert set up to show when she’s posted about
me.
“It’s definitely a girl. She uses that kiss print and everything’s pink.
Totally a girl,” Graham adds.
“Okay, whoever the fuck it is, I just wish they’d focus on someone else.
Drives me nuts that she always has to be in my business.”
“Then, tell her about it.”
We all look at Asher, who’s on the opposite end of the couch, reading
some kind of horror novel and doing his best to ignore Graham’s homicidal
gamer tendencies next to him. It’s pretty comical how different all of us are,
and even still, they are the best friends I’ve ever had. The only ones I’ve
ever trusted. Hell, they’ve picked me up from rock bottom. They are my
family, even if it isn’t by blood and they had proved it time and time again.
“What?”
 Asher shrugs. “If you’re that sick of her shit, tell her about it. There’s a
contact page on her website.”
“Hell yeah, now that’s the kind of entertainment I need on a Sunday
night,” Graham says.
Jesus Christ.
“On the list of shit we should not do tonight, further provoking the girl
who obviously already has it out for me is probably not the best idea,” I tell
them.
Hudson shakes his head and rises from the recliner. “No, Asher’s right.
Maybe that’s what she wants? She’s been fucking with you for ages, maybe
she wants you to contact her. She obviously does this to get a rise out of
you, or at least that’s what I think.”
“What I think, is that you dicks are thinking way too much about this.
Briggs hasn’t exactly been a star pupil; he’s been knee deep in shit for the
past couple of years. It’s not hard to focus on the person fucking up when
you literally run a blog dedicated to hockey players and the scandalous shit
that they do,” Graham interjects.
“Thanks, asshole. Don’t forget you’re the rookie, and I can kick your
ass at any time,” I mutter.
He shrugs. “Also, your best friend. And plus, it’s true.”
So what, maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m a hot fucking mess, but I’ve got a
legitimate reason. Not that it makes it any better. It’s not like I haven’t been
trying to get my shit together, not that anyone has probably even noticed,
but I’ve come a long fucking way in the past few years. Not far enough, not
yet anyway. But at least I’m trying.
I’m fucking trying.
I glance back down at the blog post on my phone.
One of the last posts about me is titled “NHL bad boy cleaning up his
act with... Youth hockey?” And that shit pisses me off. Why take something
legitimately good that I’m doing and make a fucking mockery of it?
 "I think you should do it,” Asher reiterates. “Either way, she’ll realize
that you’re actually reading this shit and you’re not just a name but a person
with feelings.”
“Oh god, you three are ridiculous,” Graham mutters, flopping backward
against the couch and groaning. “Briggs, are you seriously telling me that
you give a shit what this random girl has to say about you on the internet?”
I narrow my eyes at him as my jaw clenches on its own accord. “I mean,
it’s fucking annoying. Look, I’ve been trying really hard to get my shit
together and it sucks that because of this… girl, the entire world still sees
everything I do in a negative light.”
“See? Do it,” Hudson encourages me.
Asher nods. “Yeah, tell her how you feel. You’ll probably feel better
getting it off your chest.”
I grit my teeth together painfully. Fuck it, not like she’s probably even
going to read it, and hell, even if she does, maybe she’ll leave me the hell
alone.
I click the button, then type my email address in and a message.
“Dear Puck Bunny,
Catchy name by the way. Briggs Wilson here. I saw your post recently
about the size of my hockey stick and how I’m overcompensating for other
things. And by things, you mean my dick.”
I show Hudson the phone screen and he chuckles.
Continuing, I type, “I’m just writing to let you know that I don’t need to
overcompensate for anything, and if you want… I can prove it. Name the
time and place, and you’ve got a date.”
As soon as I type the message out, I realize how absolutely stupid it
would be to actually send it. Why give this girl more ammo against me?
She obviously has some kind of pent-up aggression when it comes to me.
“Whatever, it does feel a little better to type it out.” I shrug and delete the
email before I can hit send. It pisses me off that she constantly puts me in
the spotlight, even compared to the other fuck heads in the NHL, my
fuckups are always front and center. Even the good things that I do,
coaching the Mighty Pucks, doing charity events, volunteering when I have
free time… she takes it and manipulates it into something else. Why can’t
something I do actually be good instead of payment for the past? Or that
public relations forced me to do it, or that my spot on the team is
jeopardized if I didn’t.
Every time I’ve gotten into a fight or had some type of newsworthy
fuckup, she’s been the first one to post it. Granted, I did hand her the
content wrapped in a bright red bow, but damn. The worst moments of my
life have happened with a spotlight shining directly on me so the world can
see me fall. At one point, I said fuck it, I stopped caring. I did whatever I
could to numb the pain, media coverage be damned.
It just makes me fucking angry that she’s sullying my reputation even
further with her stupid articles. And that’s what led me here. Holding on to
my career by a thread, everyone thinking I’m a bad investment, my friends
threatening to beat the shit out of me if I don't get my act together. People
say they understand that I’m hurt, but they don’t really understand. No one
does because they’re not living it.
“I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t send it, but I would’ve paid money
to see the look on her face when she read it,” Hudson declares.
I shrug. “Yeah… but it’s not worth the blowback, and with her… she’s
always got something to say. I’m just gonna stop reading the shit.”
“I’m out, my Sunday night hook-up just texted.” Graham stands from
the couch and tosses the controller on the coffee table.
Not surprising in the least. Yeah, he’s a good-looking guy, but it’s the
charm that does it. He’s got a girl for every day of the week, and honestly, I
don't know how he keeps up with all of them or even has the time to do so.
My head hurts just fucking thinking about it.
“Sarah, right?” Asher asks.
“Nope, she’s Tuesday,” Graham responds.
I roll my eyes. This fucking kid. “Later.” I pick up my empty beer bottle
and walk into the kitchen, then toss it into the trash. Sundays are guys’
nights during the off-season. We drink beer, watch highlights, and just chill.
Being gone six months out the year makes you appreciate the little time you
do have at home, so we generally stay in unless we go out to the bar.
“Briggs, you heard from Reed?” Hudson mentions my best friend,
who’s also usually here, but he’s been MIA lately.
“Yeah, he said he was busy, but he’d come by later tonight maybe.”
By busy, I’m sure he means with a bunny, only his presence has been
sparse lately. Only around for mandatory shit. I make a mental note to call
him out on it the next time I talk to him.
Picking my phone back up, I realize that it’s still on silent, and I have a
dozen text messages from Conrad, my agent. Hell, there’s six within the
past three minutes.
Conrad: Don’t turn on the tv.
My brow furrows in confusion as I type a quick response.
Me: Vague. Why?
The dots at the bottom pop up as he types.
Conrad: I’ll be there in less than five minutes.
Meaning… he was already on his way. Alright then.
“Uh, Briggs.” I look up at Asher, who's looking at his phone with a look
of shock on his face. Hudson gets up and walks over to him, then looks at
me, eyes wide.
Okay, what the hell is happening?
“What?”
 Then a knock sounds on my front door. Heavy and hard. It must be
Conrad. Shit, he wasn’t joking when he said he was on the way. I walk over
to the door and swing it open. Before I can even speak, he’s pushing past
me, briefcase in hand, rambling away on the earpiece in his ear.
“Alright, got it. Yes. Yes. Okay… yes. Will do. Got it. Thanks.”
Conrad’s five foot three, balding, and wears Armani three-piece suits
every damn day of his life. He’s been with me since I was drafted, and I
trust him with my life. He’s handled every mishap, every fuck-up, every
single thing I’ve gotten myself into, and he’s somehow dug me out of all of
it. He’s a ruthless, cunning mother fucker, but I know that he’ll handle
things no matter what.
So when he looks up at me and says, “Briggs, my man, I’ve got some
bad news, and you might want to sit down for this,” my stomach plummets.
Bad news? I’ve had enough bad news in the past three years to last a
lifetime. Like when my contract was on hold, and they refused to renew it
until I got my act together. The endorsements that I lost. Hell, I’ve spent
more time in the penalty box than on the ice until recently.
Fuck, are they gonna drop me from the Avalanches?
“What?” I ask when he doesn’t immediately speak up.
“Your brother is having a baby.”
The floor sways beneath my feet, and I grip onto the kitchen counter to
stay upright.
“I’m sorry, Briggs. I know it can’t be easy to hear. I’m sorry, son.”
Conrad looks at me with pity in his eyes, and it’s what I hate most of all.
Fucking pity. The fact that everyone in the entire world knows what
happened to me. They know how broken I am, how hollow, how much I
hate myself more than anything. They’ve watched me spiral and fuck up my
life. The entire world has sat back and watched it from their smartphones or
on the televisions in their living rooms. A mother-fucking front row seat.
And now… life has a cruel way of pouring salt on a busted open wound.
I should’ve known that nothing stays okay for long.
 THREE

IMAGINE the two people you trusted more than anyone in the world
betraying you. Slicing your heart open, then watching it bleed out without
ever lifting a finger to stop it. Then picture seeing that reminder day in and
day out, realizing not only did they wound you, they betrayed you in the
worst way imaginable, and the world has a fucked-up way of never letting
you forget it.
That pain doesn’t stop. There’s not a switch you can just flip off. You
can only ignore it for so long before it becomes a permanent, dull ache
somewhere deep inside of you.
When the news of Beau’s kid broke, the last thing I wanted to do was
stay in Chicago, where the entire world has a front row seat to the worst
betrayal I’ve ever known. I wanted to put my fist through the wall and
break everything in my house, but instead, I drank an entire bottle of
whiskey, puked my guts out and then went to bed.
Alone. Just like every other night.
The next afternoon, when I was able to crack my eyes open, I found my
phone under the couch with a text message from Conrad, saying he booked
me four days at a small inn off of Lake Geneva. I guess he knew I would
need time to digest this and come to terms with it, and the last thing he
wanted was to find me on the home page of The Puck Bunny’s site with
another headline. Hopefully by the time I make it home, the tabloids will
have found something else to latch onto. If only it was that easy.
I log into my phone then turn off notifications and silence it for the rest
of the day. I don’t answer calls from the guys, my parents, or Conrad.
I need to be alone to process this, and the feeling of betrayal that’s once
again rearing its ugly head.
Sitting in my truck, staring at the doors of the Brickhouse Inn, trying to
keep my head from going to places I don’t want to visit, a storm brews
above me, painting the sky an onyx color that settles over the Inn. Heavy,
fat raindrops begin to fall, splattering against my truck.
It’s soothing in a way. The rhythmic beat of the rain against the tin of
the inn’s roof, and I realize this probably is the best thing for me. I need
time away from Chicago to clear my head. To not be surrounded by daily
reminders from the media and my family of everything I’ve endured in the
past two years.
Outside, the rain begins to fall harder, and if I don’t get out now, I’ll
only end up stuck in a downpour. My phone beeps with a weather alert, and
it looks like this storm isn’t going to blow over anytime soon. I sigh heavily,
grabbing my duffle bag that’s in the passenger seat, then shut my truck off.
The second I open the door, the wind crashes against it and rain pelts my
face.
Holy shit.
The wind whips and billows as I make my way to the wrap-around
porch of the inn, finally taking shelter under it. I shake my hair, trying to get
some of the rain out of my eyes. The damn sky all of a sudden opened up
with a torrential downpour.
My fingers wrap around the slick metal of the door handle and I wrench
it open, stepping inside. Rain still drips from my hair onto my already
soaked shirt and bag as I stand in the entry way. I scan the small room, my
eyes dragging over the antique furniture, and realize that it’s a lot cozier
than I expected.
At this point, Hell is probably a lot more comfortable than outside right
now.
“Hi, checking in?”
An older lady with light gray hair and a pair of thin-framed glasses
walks into the room. She’s wearing a long dress with a light pink apron tied
around her neck that’s covered in flour, as if she’s come right out of the
kitchen from baking something.
“Hi, I’m here to check in. I called ahead...” Lowering my voice, I say,
“Briggs Wilson?”
“Ah yes, Mr. Wilson. My name is Margaret and I run the inn. I'd be
happy to get you checked in and show you to your room.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
Margaret types away on the computer at the desk and then looks up and
smiles, her eyes kind and warm. “Darn it. My computer is down from the
storm. Let me just write this down and I’ll input everything once it’s back
up.”
Using the pen next to her notebook, she jots down a few messy lines
then looks back up and smiles widely at me. It immediately makes me feel
at ease.
“Okay, got you squared away. Breakfast is at eight. I drop new towels
off every other day, and there’s a phone in your room if you need to call
down for anything. As I was saying, unfortunately due to this storm, our
phones and internet have been down, but we’re hoping it’ll clear up soon.”
“Not a problem. Thanks.”
Her smile is kind and genuine. “Follow me, and I can sho-”
The front door behind me bursts open, a strong gust of wind sending it
flying against the opposite wall, almost knocking me over, but the girl
stumbling over the threshold actually does knock me over. She tumbles into
me with so much force, it knocks us both straight to the ground.
The hardwood below me creaks as we hit it, and her elbow goes straight
to my balls, and I immediately groan. Low and deep, I feel the pain radiate
up to my stomach, making me nauseous.
“Oh, fuck.”
She’s got to be all of five feet tall, at least a foot shorter than me, but she
just tackled us both to the ground like a fucking linebacker with my balls
being the only casualty.
“I’m so sorry, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m so so so so-” the tiny
terrorist apologizes profusely. I can hardly see her face because it’s being
hidden by a curtain of blonde hair, but I can faintly see the hazel, honey
irises of her wide eyes staring back at me.
“'It’s fine, I’m fine. You’re good.”
“Oh goodness, are you okay, my dear?” Margaret asks, crouching down
next to us to attempt to help the girl up. Margaret hauls her up by the arm,
and together, she gets into a standing position. Once she’s back on her feet,
she pushes her dripping blonde curls back from her face, and even though
she looks like a wet dog, I can’t help but notice… she’s fucking gorgeous.
She’s completely soaked, not a dry spot on her. Her pale yellow t-shirt
sticks tightly to her frame, accentuating her hips and figure. I can see the
outline of her lace-covered bra, but quickly drag my eyes back up before I
look like a fucking creep.
I lean up on my elbows and get up off the wet hardwood, facing both
her and Margaret.
“Again, I am so, so sorry. My sandal... I think it caught on the porch,
and the wind, I just... I’m sorry.” She smiles, her cheeks red with
embarrassment. Hazel, gold-flecked eyes, long pale blonde hair, a perfect
row of teeth and peachy pink lips.
 Getting stuck in the middle of nowhere during a raging thunderstorm
with a beautiful girl is not the kind of luck I have, but fuck if I won’t take it.
“No big deal. No harm, no foul.” I pick up my duffle bag from the floor
and Margaret looks at the girl. “Give me just a moment, dear, let me show
this guest to his room and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
The blonde beauty nods and waves goodbye at me awkwardly. I give
her a smirk and follow behind Margaret. We walk down a long hallway
with antique paintings on the wall along with old portraits of people from
different time periods.
“You’ll have to forgive my granddaughter Maddison, she’s a bit of a
klutz.”
I just shake my head. “It’s no problem. It’s treacherous out there. I’m a
big guy, and I almost got knocked over by that wind.”
She smiles. "Here we are.” She leads me down a short hallway with
only two doors that are opposite of each other. Seems pretty private, aside
from the door facing mine. It’s on its own wing off from the rest of the
rooms. Pulling an old skeleton key from her apron, Margaret hands it over
to me. “This is your room. If you need anything, please let me know, and
I’ll be happy to help in anyway. I’m hoping the phone and internet come
back up soon.”
“Not a problem. Thanks for getting me set up so quickly.”
“Oh, it’s nothing darling. We're happy to have you here at Brickside.
Please let me know if you need anything at all.” She smiles once more then
slips out of the door.
Silence settles around me, covering me in calmness. I’m cut off from
the rest of the world right now, literally. No internet or cable because of the
storm. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see that the signal bar is
flatlined, meaning I’m truly cut off from the rest of the world by being here.
Not that I ever get anything but the occasional email, and a few calls
and texts. After everything blew up a couple of years ago, I quit social
media. It was honestly the best thing I ever did, and I have no intention of
ever getting it back. The only thing I ever keep up with is the stupid Puck
Bunny, since I seem to be a sadist and love punishment, and a few sports
sites. The rest, I steer clear from; it’s better that way.
I set my bag down on the dresser and look around. A four-poster king-
size bed sits in the middle of the room with a canopy covering the top.
There are matching nightstands on each side and the entire room feels cozy
and comfortable.
Turns out, maybe coming to the middle of nowhere to run away from
your problems isn’t such a bad thing after all.
 FOUR

I’VE BEEN NURSING the same room-temperature, half-empty beer for an

hour now with my gaze glued to the fire, and my head somewhere deep in
the past, whenever she walks into the room.
I feel her presence the moment she steps over the threshold. Her blonde
hair that seemed much darker when it was rain-soaked, is now dry and tied
loosely at the nape of her neck. Her cheeks are flushed pink, her brow
furrowed and a look of concentration is set firmly on her face.
She hasn’t noticed me yet, so I take the moment to drink her in. She’s
got her laptop in her hands, muttering quiet curses as she tries to focus on
the screen and walk, until she runs directly into the edge of the wooden end
table.
“Damnit.” Then another frustrated sigh. A low laugh slips from my lips,
causing her gaze to dart to mine.
"Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anyone else was here.” She
practically squeaks when she realizes she’s not alone. Even in the low light,
I can see her cheeks ablaze in the glow of the fire. “Ah, you’re the guy I
tackled earlier.” She shuts her computer and scrunches her nose in apology.
“I’m still so sorry about that. I have a habit of being a tad bit clumsy.”
“It’s no big deal. It’s not like I haven’t be-” I’m about to tell her that I
get in fights on the ice weekly with guys three times her size, but something
stops me. There’s a huge chance she doesn’t know who I am. Not the fuck-
up of the Avalanche or even a professional hockey player in general. Fuck,
when’s the last time I was around someone who wasn’t blinded by dollar
signs when I talked or asking me about hockey?
Hell, judging by her first reaction when meeting me, there’s a huge
chance she’s not even a hockey fan.
I shrug nonchalantly. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Really.”
“At least let me get you a new beer. My treat.” She nods toward the
warm, half-drunk beer in my hand then holds up her hand, “I promise to be
on my best behavior.”
“If you insist, but seriously, I’m good.”
She sets the computer down on the end table next to me and disappears
through the entryway, returning moments later with a bottle of tequila and
two Christmas themed shot glasses.
“Uh, so we’re actually out of beer and I didn’t want to come back
empty-handed, so I grabbed this.” She holds up the bottle and shrugs.
“Wow, are you trying to get me drunk… and take advantage of me?” I
smirk.
“No, oh God no. Definitely not,” she says quickly, obviously becoming
flustered at my teasing. “I was just saying, the tequila is all they have and
after today, I need a drink. Plus, after our initial meeting, I think you
probably deserve this drink as much as I do.”
She sets the bottle and glasses down next to her computer. When she’s
this close I can really see her features. Her striking honey eyes, thick lashes,
and heart-shaped mouth that I suddenly want to devour.
She’s fucking beautiful. The kind of beautiful that hits you the moment
she’s in your atmosphere.
“I’m Maddison, and honestly, I’ve had a pretty rough week, and right
now, I just want to drink a few shots of this shitty tequila with a complete
stranger who won’t judge the mess I am.”
 I gesture to the seat next to me and shrug. “I’m Briggs and... by all
means. I’m not a judgmental guy, so it’s all yours.” I wait for any type of
realization to cover her face, and when nothing happens, I let out a sigh of
relief. She has no clue who I am.
“Thanks.”
When she flops down on the chair, and sighs heavily, I raise my
eyebrows. “I was going to ask if you want to talk about it but…”
“No. I don’t. Talking about it is actually the last thing I want to do. Can
we just drink and talk about anything but our problems?” She reaches over
and twists off the top, pours two shots to the brim of the glasses, then picks
one up and hands it to me.
I take the glass from her and raise it up before we toss them back. It
burns, not in a good way, more so in the this is probably ten-year-old gas
station tequila kind of way, but I swallow it down regardless.
“Okay,” I shake my head to clear the aftertaste, “that is truly shitty
tequila. You hit the nail on the head with that one.”
Maddison’s face puckers in distaste, but then a wicked grin spreads on
her rosy lips, and she throws her head back and laughs. “Truly.”
Her phone chimes while she’s pouring another shot, but she ignores it.
That reminds me that I might actually have a signal if her phone is going
off, but truthfully... I’m enjoying the silence. I don’t want to have to check
my email, or respond to Conrad’s texts, or read all of the messages coming
through asking if I’m okay and if I need anything. For that reason alone, I
keep my phone in my pocket and focus my attention back to the woman
sitting across from me.
She hands me another shot, and together, we throw them back a second
time.
“God, I thought it would get better after a couple, but it doesn’t.” Her
shoulders shake with a full-body chill as her face twists in disgust.
 “Not at all.” I clear my throat. “In fact, I think it’s getting worse, if
that’s possible.”
Nodding, she darts her tongue out to catch a drop of tequila that’s
meeting the corner of her lips, and I almost groan out loud.
“Well, it’s all we’ve got, so I’m a ‘make the best of it’ kinda girl.”
“True. The plus side is that after a few, we probably won’t feel it
anymore.” I grin when she giggles. “Well…. Since we’re going to finish
this disgusting tequila together, I feel like we should get to know each
other.”
The pink-tinted plump bottom lip that she seems to chew on when she’s
nervous is pulled back between her lips as she sits back in the chair.
Hesitating, she withdraws slightly. “Not much to know. You’ve seen the
basics. I’m secretly a flag football captain, I like cheap liquor, and I’m
perpetually graceless.”
“You sacked two hundred pounds to the ground, I’m inclined to believe
this. Not sure about the graceless part. Maybe just a bit uncoordinated.”
She grins slightly and rolls her eyes. “Honestly, I like the fact that I
don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Keeps things interesting.”
“I’ll take a shot to that.” I smirk. She has no idea how much I appreciate
the fact that I don’t have to be anything I don’t want to be right now. To her,
I’m some guy staying at her grandparents’ inn that she’s never seen before.
Without the chains of my past making themselves known.
I’m not the guy who almost lost his entire hockey career after he was
betrayed by his own brother. Or the guy who spent countless nights in a
drunk tank, sobering up enough to get bailed out by his friend or his
parents. She doesn’t know me as the guy who picked fights just to feel
something.
Who was so numb inside that the only way I could feel anything at all
was to make myself hurt.
 She doesn’t know that guy, she has no clue who I am or what I’ve been
through.
It’s freeing.
Her hot pink manicured fingers rub circles along the rim of her glass
before she grabs the bottle and pours another shot in both our glasses and
holds hers up in a toast. “To strangers, and cheap tequila.”
We clink the shot glasses together in a toast then toss back the tequila.
Somehow, one shot turns into two, and then four and then well, I lost
count. An hour later, we’re sitting side by side on the couch, facing each
other, with tears running down Maddison’s face as she laughs at the story
I’m telling.
“So then, he runs out of the room butt-ass naked, and now we’ll never
let him live it down.”
She’s completely doubled over, laughing, and fuck, I can’t help the
smile that sits on my own face. She’s infectious. Hilarious, sassy, and
everything I didn’t expect when she walked into the room tonight. And the
best part... she has no fucking clue who I am. The connection feels one
hundred percent genuine. While we’ve been talking about our lives, and the
people in it, she hasn't pressed about my profession. We’ve purposefully
avoided anything that’s too deep, and fuck, it’s been great.
Enjoying the night with no commitments or expectations.
I’m lost in thought when Maddison calls my name.
“Briggs?”
Looking up, my eyes connect with hers, and I forget the thought all
together.
“Sorry, cheap tequila going to my head. What did you say?”
Her small finger traces the rim of the shot glass while she smirks. “I was
saying how great your friends sound. It's amazing to have a group of people
who you feel like bring out the best in you and that you can be yourself
around."
 “Yeah, I’m lucky to have them, for sure.”
I reach behind me for the tequila bottle and the glasses and pour each of
us another shot. She takes a glass from me and together we toss back the
liquid. Even after losing track of all of the shots we’ve taken, it still tastes
like garbage.
It’s probably well after one a.m., but I’m not ready for the night to end.
Not ready to say goodbye to Maddison.
“I have an idea. We have less than half a bottle left. Let’s finish it, but
let's do it with a twist. I want you to tell me a truth and then I want you to
tell me a lie. If I guess the truth correctly, you drink. If I’m wrong, then I’ll
drink," I suggest.
Probably a bad fucking idea when she doesn’t even know who I really
am, but if it gives me longer with her, fuck it.
"Okay, but this is probably a bad idea. I’ll have you know I am
extremely competitive and I hate to lose.” She grins cheekily and brings her
pink manicured nails to her lips in contemplation.
"I have a feeling you are going straight for my balls.” I laugh and roll
my eyes playfully.
"I'm just trying to think of something really good.”
I’m so fucking attracted to her that I can’t hardly focus on anything but
the desire to lay her down on this couch. She’s a breath of fresh air. Her
laugh, her humor, her brazen realness. Even though being here with her is
the last thing I need to be doing, I’m not ready to say goodnight and head
upstairs.
I want more. Of this. Of her.
Arousal shoots down my spine when she moans lightly in frustration.
“Shit. I have so many good ones, I don’t know where to start. Okay...Okay.
I was the captain of the chess team and…. I lost my virginity in a farm
stall.”
My eyes widen. “The chess team?”
 “Out of both of those, that’s what you’re surprised about? Go on, tell
me, which one’s the truth, and which is the lie.”
I think for a minute. Fuck, she is good. I’d bet money on that poker face
because it reveals absolutely nothing.
It makes me wonder who she really is. Who's under that breathtaking
exterior?
“Alright. I’m betting everything I’ve got on this one. Chess team is the
lie. Farm stall is the truth.”
Her eyes twinkle. “Sorry, Casanova, but you probably shouldn’t head to
the casino anytime soon. Drink up.”
“No shit?” I say in bewilderment. Color me fucking surprised. “You
were the captain of the chess team?”
She nods, grinning cheekily. “Don’t act so surprised. Just because I’m
beautiful doesn’t mean I’m not smart. My IQ is like 180. Beauty and
brains.”
That she is. That she fucking is. Fuck, I love her confidence. It’s sexy,
and so rare to see on a woman. She’s completely comfortable in her skin
and owns it.
I take the shot she pours for me and try not to wince when it still burns
going down. Shit, when will this shit stop tasting so bad?
“Alright, here we go.” I smirk. “I went to prom with my cousin.”
Her eyes widen, and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise before she
covers her mouth as she giggles.
“What’s so funny, brains?”
“I’m sorry, but if that’s the truth, I’m going to need some story time.
Sorry, sorry, okay, continue.”
Shaking my head, I laugh. “And… I know three languages.”
“Oh, I am so going to win this." She sits back against the couch; her
cheeks are flushed and her eyes twinkling from the light of the dying fire.
She’s so beautiful it takes away my fucking breath. My hands itch to reach
out and pull her into my arms, then kiss her till she’s breathless.
“I’m gonna say the three languages is the lie.”
I stay silent for a moment, then nod. It’s true, I did actually take my
cousin to prom.
"Ha! Damn, I should probably go to Vegas and put it all on black.” She
laughs, throaty and low. When she leans forward, the front of her shirt dips,
giving me a glimpse of her milky, full tits.
I bite back a groan and laugh. “Look beauty and brains, don’t get ahead
of yourself here. You’ve won two rounds, and I’m just getting started.
Game’s not over yet.”
“I’m just saying, it’s not looking too good for you, bud.” Her teasing
banter has my heart speeding up inside my chest. A steady thump that
reminds me that even after everything, it still is beating somewhere inside
of me.
I sit patiently and wait for her to choose her next question, but my eyes
scan her face, acquainting myself with the small, dimpled curve of her lips
when she smiles, and the way her eyes seem to shine whenever she teases
me.
She’s enjoying handing me my ass.
“Okay, okay, I wouldn’t go all in on this one. I’m upping the ante.”
The honey, golden-flecked iris of her eyes widen in question as her
eyebrows shoot up. “I’m listening.”
“If you win this round, I’ll do two shots, but if I win… I get a kiss.”
I hear the delicate yet sharp intake of the breath she sucks in,
completely taken off guard by my request, and for a second, I wonder if
I’ve overstepped. After a brief moment of hesitation, she steels her jaw in
determination.
“You’re on, Romeo.”
 The moment I decided to taunt her with this… bet per se, I knew exactly
what to say.
“I’ve broken a world record and… I've broken the same arm three
times.”
She doesn’t waver, her jaw still tight and her eyes filled with
determination. It’s fucking sexy. As much as I admire her competitiveness, I
hope like fuck she gets this wrong because I don’t know if I can last another
second without kissing those lips.
Moments go by and she stays silent before she finally speaks, “World
record.”
“Is that your final answer?”
Her eyes roll. “Yes, Regis, now make me a millionaire.”
I don’t answer immediately; instead, I lean forward, slightly closing the
distance between us. Until I’m so close I can inhale her floral, clean, citrus
scent and feel the pant of her warm breath on my lips.
“Wrong. Should’ve phoned a friend.”
I watch as she visibly swallows, the pulse in her neck pounding as I lean
in closer. All’s fair in cheap tequila and truth and a lie, and I’m gonna
collect my winnings.
Her gaze holds mine. “You’ve won a world record?”
I just grin and nod, then offer a small shrug. “Never underestimate
Romeo, brains.”
And then my lips are on hers. I crash against her in the way a rough,
unsteady wave would lick upon a shore. She’s soft and sweet, and fuck,
when her lips move against mine, I use every bit of restraint I have to go
slow, to take my time and savor this moment. My tongue dips into her
mouth, stealing all of her sighs, and holding them hostage. Her hands slide
into my hair, and she inches closer, ready to crawl into my lap.
Roughly, I pull back, breaking our kiss. We’re both panting, and if she’s
feeling anything like I am, her heart is threatening to break free from its
cage.
Holy fuck, that was intense. Maddison lifts her hand and rubs her
fingers lightly along her now swollen lips.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss
you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Don’t… don’t look at me like that,” she whispers.
“Like what?”
She sucks in a gulp of air before rasping, “Like strangers shouldn’t look
at each other.”
“Maddison…” I start, but she stops me by placing her finger over my
lips.
“Can I be honest with you?"
My heart pounds in my chest, and my throat feels thick at her sudden
question.
"Always."
She turns completely toward me and draws her legs to her chest before
resting her chin on them. "This is the first conversation I've had in as long
as I can remember where it feels real. Where it's not some guy I met on a
dating app that feels like he has to lie about everything to impress me. It
just feels... sincere. And I don’t even know your last name.”
"I know exactly what you mean. It’s been a long time since I felt like I
could… I dunno just talk with someone the way we did tonight.”
We’ve almost finished off the bottle of tequila, and I’ve lost track of
how late it’s gotten. Hell, I haven’t even glanced at the clock once since she
sat down next to me.
“Can I be honest with you?” I ask. Leaning in closer, my heart pounds
as I wait for her reply.
She nods. “Always.”
“I’m not ready for this night to end with you.”
Her lips part and her tongue darts out to wet them. “Me either.”
 “I have an idea. Will you trust me?”
“Should I? Trust you? We’re strangers… remember?” she counters,
calling me on the fact that I’m asking a girl I’ve spent less than an entire
day with to give me her trust, even though I’ve spent the past two years
pushing everyone away.
Trusting no one after my trust had been shattered.
“True. But, what if I promise to be on my best behavior for the rest of
the night?”
Pulling back, she stays silent, and I can practically see the wheels in her
head turning.
“Fine. One night, Romeo.”
One night’s all I need.
 FIVE

"YOU'RE CRAZY. ABSOLUTELY INSANE."

I shrug. "Maybe. Maybe not. But you're still getting in this water.”
We’re standing on the old wooden dock behind the inn that overlooks a
massive lake. It’s dark as hell since the moonlight is still hidden behind the
now calm clouds in the sky, but it’s faint enough to make out her features.
The water is completely black and still.
“No way. There is absolutely no way that I am getting in that water.
None. Look, I’m a lake girl, true. But I draw the line at water that’s so black
you can’t see the bottom. Nope.”
I smirk. “Oh? Ms. Competitive is actually a… chicken? Wow,
Maddison, I didn’t peg you for the kind of girl who backs down from a
dare.”
I reach behind my head and grab my shirt and pull it over my head, then
toss it aside. Her eyes drag down my body, pausing at my abs and the sharp
lines of the V that dips into my jeans. She doesn't take her eyes off of me as
I flick the button of my jeans undone and drag them down my hips. Only
when I’m left in nothing but a pair of tight black briefs and my gaze locks
with hers, does she squeeze her eyes shut and groan.
"Oh my God, are we seriously doing this? I didn’t peg you for the kind
of guy who wants to go skinny dipping in the dead of night where there’s a
high chance that something in that water is going to eat us."
“Pretty sure there’s absolutely nothing in that water that’s going to eat
you, but I mean, if you’re too scared, well then...” I trail off and then walk
to the end of the dock, pull my briefs down my hips and kick them to the
side.
I hear a sharp hiss behind me and grin. I’m an all-in kinda guy. Looking
back over my shoulder, I wink at her, then dive headfirst into the black
water. It’s a tad bit chilly since it’s late August, but it feels fucking amazing.
I kick to the surface and shake my hair out before yelling, “Get your
cute ass in this water.”
Treading water off the side of the dock, I pray she gives into my teasing
and joins me, because all I want is a few more minutes with this girl that’s
stirring a feeling I haven’t felt in so long inside my chest.
"Guess I’m going to have to tell everyone that you’re the loser.”
She scowls at me, before crossing her arms over her chest. “Fine. But if
I die, it’s on your conscience.”
She looks around nervously then toes off her flats and pulls the baggy
tee over her head, revealing a black lace bra. Her hips are wide and full, and
I mentally add it to another thing that I’m attracted to when it comes to her.
She looks like she would bend and not break if I had my way with her body.
There’s nothing sexier than a woman with something for me to hold. Her
supple breasts threaten to spill from the cups of lace that cage them in.
Never in my life have I wanted to sink my teeth so badly in something. Just
to see if the flush of her rosy nipples matches the one on her cheeks.
Her fingers hook into the waistband of her leggings and she tugs them
slowly down her hips. While doing so, her eyes never leave mine. It feels
like a show. Her baring herself to me without hesitation. Even though my
intention was only to spend more time with her.
But if this is the direction it’s headed, I’m not fucking stopping it.
 "Come on, the longer you stay on that dock, the more likely I am to
drown without you.”
She shakes her head, laughing, then reaches behind her and slowly
unhooks the black lace, letting it fall free. Her perfect tits spill out.
My mouth runs dry, and I really do almost fucking drown when I
swallow a mouthful of water.
Fuck, she’s perfect. Her tits, heavy and full, sway when she shifts from
one foot to the other. Her nipples are exactly the shade I had imagined, rosy
and pink. The hardened peaks begging for attention, greedy and wanton.
My cock stirs to life every second my gaze remains on her soft, supple
body.
“Get in the water, Maddison,” I rasp, unable to take another second of
not touching her.
She sucks in a deep breath, then jumps into the water a few feet from
where I am. Seconds later, she resurfaces with a laugh.
“God, I feel like a teenager right now!”
I make my way over to her until we’re so close I could reach out and
run my hands along her body, and then I splash her.
She squeals, splashing me back, and I grin at her futile attempt, shaking
my hair and spraying her with the drops.
“This water is incredible. Even though I think something might bite my
foot off, or eat me, it’s amazing.”
I nod. “Glad you decided to trust me with something as serious as your
feet.” Kicking closer, I lean forward. “Truth?”
My voice is hoarse with arousal. I want this girl more than I’ve ever
wanted anything. My hands on her body, my lips on every part of her that I
can touch.
She nods. Her eyes hold mine, and time stands still as the tension in the
air around us seems to multiply, growing thicker with each second that
passes.
 “Truth?” she whispers, her chest rising and falling as she sucks in air.
“Always.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about what it would be like to kiss you since
I tackled you to the floor,” Maddison whispers.
I don’t waste another second, leaning forward, I cover her lips with
mine and fuck, it’s even better the second time, if that’s possible. Maddison
tastes like forgiveness and retribution. Sweet and soft, tangy and citrus like.
For the past two years, I’ve done enough fucking up to last a lifetime. Made
choices that I regret, hurt people who didn’t deserve my anger, hated myself
for all of the shit I messed up, but suddenly, I feel like I might have a real
chance at turning shit around.
Kissing Maddison feels like a reprieve from every wrong thing I’ve ever
done. As if she’s breathing good back into me, a forgiveness that I don’t
rightly deserve. Feeding a hunger that’s grown ravenous over time.
I rip my lips from hers and pull back slightly to stare at the warm honey
irises that gaze up at me. Her hands are wrapped tightly around my neck,
her tits pressed against my chest, and her legs are locked around my waist.
“This is crazy,” she mumbles against my lips.
“Do you want to stop?”
Her head shakes. “No, I don’t.”
With that, I drop my lips back on hers and kiss her slow and deep,
inhaling every bit of goodness that she’s giving to me.
I don’t deserve this shit, but I’m selfish enough to not stop wherever it’s
going.
“The sun is about to come up,” she says, gazing out over my shoulder
toward the horizon.
Damn, we really did spend all night together, and it was mostly just
getting to know each other.
“Wanna watch the sun come up?”
 She nods and untangles herself from my arms. Together, we swim back
to the dock, and when she climbs up the ladder, I turn my head because I’m
a gentleman, even though my dick hasn’t quite gotten the memo and all I
want to do is watch her ass sway as she climbs.
Once we’re both dressed, we sit shoulder to shoulder at the end of the
dock and watch as the sun slowly begins to rise in front of us. Being with
her today, it’s the best day I’ve had in a long time.
“I almost wish the sun wasn’t coming up,” she says quietly as she peers
out onto the sky. “We should probably get back before the other guests
wake up.”
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll walk you back? To your room?”
“That would be great.”
We stand from the dock and walk back toward the inn, slipping inside
the back door quietly and taking the stairs. I let her lead, since I’m not sure
where her room is, but am surprised when she goes to the small wing where
my room also is.
“This is me.” She gestures to the door opposite of mine.
“Funny, because this is me.” I grin, nodding at the other door.
“Hm. As luck would have it.” Leaning on her tiptoes, she plants a sweet
kiss against the corner of my lips then pulls the key from her jean shorts
pocket and unlocks her door. “Goodnight, Briggs. Thank you for tonight.”
“My pleasure.”
Then, she disappears behind her antique door, leaving me staring at it,
wishing that it was mine she was walking into right now.

Once I get back to my room, sunlight is beginning to stream through the

sheer curtains, casting a warm glow around the room. I’m grinning like a
fool as I flop down onto the bed.
 Fuck, today was good.
Exactly what I needed after the shit show that I left behind in Chicago.
Maybe not Conrad’s definition of “detox,” but I feel lighter. Better. And I
know it has everything to do with the girl with the golden eyes and heart-
shaped mouth.
I’m about to strip down to my boxers when there’s a faint, delicate
knock on the door. My gaze whips toward it, and I try to remember if I put
on the ‘do not disturb’ sign before locking it.
Sliding out of the bed, I walk over, unlock the door then swing it open. I
open my mouth to speak, but I get no words out because Maddison is
colliding into me, her sweet mouth closing over mine in a kiss so damn
intoxicating, I feel it all the way to my toes. My hands slide up her jaw,
cradling it, kissing her back, deep and hard. There’s definitely nothing soft
or sweet about this kiss.
It’s desperate, frantic, completely out of control.
She tears her lips from mine before rambling, “I tried to go to sleep, but
I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I know that it’s crazy. You know like
meeting a stranger, and then having this crazy desire to rip his clothes off
and ride him until the sun literally comes up, but I jus-”
I cut her off with a searing kiss, showing her that I feel the same exact
way with my action because I’m shit with words. She has no fucking clue
how badly I want this.
How badly I want her.
Breaking the kiss, I trail my lips down the delicate column of her throat,
scraping my teeth against her skin, nipping at the sensitive flesh. Each time
she sighs breathlessly, her hands fist in my hair, pulling me closer. She
shudders in my arms when I scrape my teeth along the pounding pulse in
her throat. It beats in sync with my own, a rapid procession of beats that tell
me just how much she's affected by my kiss.
 Sliding my hands lower, I try to memorize every inch of her body,
praying that once this is over, I’ll remember exactly what it felt like to touch
her. When I reach her ass, I pick her up, never taking my mouth off of her. I
haul her up my body till her legs lock around my waist, pressing her heated
center against my aching cock.
Pulling back, she mumbles breathlessly, “This is crazy, we’re crazy.”
I smirk, sliding my hands up her back, this time under the thin fabric of
her t-shirt. My hands connect with bare skin and she shivers.
“Stop thinking and feel.”
“I am. It’s just sometimes my brain doesn’t shut up, honestly it’s a
problem and I wa-”
Her nerves are causing her to ramble again, and while it’s cute as shit, I
want her to know that I would never try and take things further if she wants
to slow it down.
“Maddison, we don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.
You call the shots here. If you want to stop, just say the word.”
She shakes her head. “No. No, that’s definitely not what I want. I just
wish I could shut off my brain for like five seconds.”
Turning toward the bed, I gently lay her on top and place my hands on
each side of her head as I hover over her.
“Trust me?”
“Yes, even though I’m insane for it.”
I grin and drop my lips back to her chest, kissing down the V where her
ample cleavage peeks out from under the fabric of her t-shirt. Her blonde
hair is splayed out above her and the way the sun hits the golden strands,
seems to form a halo above her.
She looks like a fucking angel, and I swear my mouth goes dry when
she sits up and drags the t-shirt over her head, then tosses it off the bed.
My eyes snap to the black lace that barely contains her tits, milky skin
that seems to spill over the overfull cups. I can faintly see the dusty rose-
colored nipples that poke through the fabric. Needy and demanding
attention. Reaching forward, I push the cup down and suck the hard peak
into my mouth, rolling it between my teeth until she’s panting. Kissing
lower, I drag my tongue down the plane of her stomach, dipping into the
curves of her body.
I move down lower and lower, until my tongue skims along the line of
her leggings and then I hook my fingers in them and drag them down her
hips, pulling them off.
Now she’s laid out beneath me like a goddess, her blonde halo of hair
spread out in the morning light.
Her body is exquisite. Now, in the light of day, I can appreciate just how
perfect it is. Soft, supple skin that I want to sink my teeth into, that I plan to
sink my teeth into in the very near future.
Her searing, green and gold irises hold mine as I run my nose along the
seam of her lace panties, connecting with the greedy little nub of her clit
through the fabric. When I brush against her lightly, her back bows from the
bed toward my face.
She’s so responsive to my touch, it’s incredible. My cock aches with the
anticipation of sinking inside of her. But that’s not what this is about, not
yet. Pleasing her, watching her fall apart beneath me with just my hands and
tongue is all that I want to do right now. I want to see if she tastes as sweet
as she looks.
Slowly, inch by inch, I drag the tiny scrap of lace down her legs, leaving
her laid out bare in front of me. My eyes drag down her body, in the slowest
of perusals, as I try to burn her image into my brain, so I won’t ever forget.
I lean forward, kissing the smooth, bare surface of her pussy, grinning when
her hips flex against my lips.
My gaze lifts to meet hers, as I kneel between her legs, and her eyes
smolder. They fucking burn. Never breaking our gaze, I part her with my
fingers. Only then do I let my eyes drop to her perfect pink pussy. She’s so
damn perfect, it’s hard to believe she’s real.
Women like Maddison bring men to their knees, and I’m a testament to
it as I kneel before her. My mouth waters in anticipation of tasting her,
teasing her, bringing her to the edge. I bring my thumb to her pussy and
slide it through her wetness till the rough pad of my thumb brushes against
the greedy little nub of her clit.
“Briggs,” she begs.
I hear the desperation in her voice, see the way her chest rises and falls
in short, shallow pants. Her hands fist the sheets beside her body as my
fingers tease her. She’s wound tight and desperate for release.
“You have the most beautiful pussy,” I praise. I trail my lips up the
sensitive flesh of her inner thigh, grinning when she wiggles against my
lips. I kiss upwards toward the spot that will relieve the ache; sections at a
time, I drag my teeth along her skin.
“So pink and pretty.” Continuing my path, I pause at the apex of her
thighs and flatten my tongue against her, swiping upward torturously slow.
“Oh god.”
“Not God, baby, but I’ll worship you if you let me.”
I begin to lap at her pussy with slow, languid strokes of my tongue. Her
hips buck when I latch on to her clit and suck, hard. Pushing one finger
inside of her, I groan when she tightens around me.
God, she’s so fucking tight and drenched. My finger slides in easily, and
when I suck on the little bud, flicking it with my tongue, she contracts
around my finger.
I feast on her pussy like it’s a thanksgiving dinner fit for a king; over
and over, I fuck her with my finger while I tease and lap at her clit, savoring
the sweet taste of her on my tongue. When she begins to tense beneath me, I
flatten my palm over her stomach to hold her still while I devour her.
 Maddison’s hands fist in my hair, yanking me closer to her. “I’m going
to….” She trails off breathlessly.
“Going to what, baby? Let me hear it. I want to hear the words from
your mouth.” My voice is hoarse. Demanding and rough.
I want to hear her say that I’m making her come. That it’s me who’s
bringing her the bolt of pleasure erupting deep within her.
“Tell me, Maddison.”
“I’m going to come. God, Briggs, I’m...”
I pull her clit between my teeth gently and tug, just as I slide another
finger inside of her and curl them up, stroking inside her in a torturously
slow motion.
“That’s it, baby, come on my face.” I rasp, praising her. “Good girl.”
The second the words leave my mouth, her body coils tight, the muscles
in her thighs going taut as she pulses around my tongue. She comes so hard;
her pussy seems to clamp down on my fingers. I continue to stroke inside of
her while working my tongue against her clit until it’s too sensitive to
continue, and she begins to thrash in my arms. Only then do I pull my
fingers free of her body. Our eyes connect and I insert them into my mouth
greedily, sucking her off of my fingers.
Even after she just came, she looks at me with heat in her eyes. This is
far from over.
“Briggs...”
A loud, clanging sound echoes around the room, causing us to both
jump.
“What in the hell is that?” I screech.
Maddison throws her head back and laughs, sitting up on her elbows,
causing arousal to flare again inside of me at the sight of her tits. The
perfect handfuls that I need over and over.
“That is Gram’s breakfast bell.”
“A breakfast bell?”
 She nods. “You get used to it. It means breakfast is ready and set up in
the dining room.” She pulls her plump lip between her teeth. “Guess that
means we’ll have to pick this back up later.”
Her cheeks are pink. The flush seemingly going down her neck to the
tops of her breasts.
I lean over her body, hovering to where we’re aligned, but not quite
touching. My cock is throbbing against the waistband of my briefs, but it
looks like we’ve been called to breakfast, so down buddy.
“Guess so.” I drop my lips to hers and kiss her slow and deep. It’s a
promise because this isn't over.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” she whispers, flopping down from her
elbows, “but, I have to say. You are very talented.”
I laugh. “That so?”
She nods then sits up, rights her bra and finds her t-shirt before pulling
it over her head. A wide grin spreads on her lips before she leans forward
and gives me a quick peck against my lips and slides off the bed. “See you
at breakfast.”
When she disappears through the door, I collapse back on the bed and
give my dick a moment to calm down.
Fuck.
This girl. She’s goddamn incredible. Her smile, her sass, her body, fuck,
the way she tastes on my lips lingers even after she’s gone. The way she
laughs at my corny-ass jokes and sees me as a person, not just a hockey
player with a fat bank account. I feel like I can just be... Me. Like even
though we’re complete strangers, she still has the ability to make me feel so
at ease, just being the guy I am.
Walking into this inn, the last thing I expected was to meet a girl, let
alone a girl who blew in like the storm we both were just caught in. The
truth is, she’s the first full breath of fresh air I’ve breathed in a long fucking
time.
It both terrifies and exhilarates me.
 SIX

AFTER WHAT WAS SUPPOSED to be a quick shower, but ultimately

ended up being much longer due to the fact that I couldn’t stop obsessing
over Maddison and the way she tasted on my lips, I change into a fresh t-
shirt and shorts, then head down the stairs for breakfast.
The dining room, if I remember correctly, is off to the side of the main
room. I take my time making it there because as I’m walking, I stumble
across some photos on the main hallway that I’m convinced are of
Maddison.
Her hair is lighter and cut close to her shoulders, curling outwards.
She’s grinning at the camera with a lopsided, toothless smile. She’s fucking
adorable.
“Ah, that was Maddison when she was about six years old, and
convinced she was the next all-American fisherwoman.”
Margaret, Maddison’s grandmother, says as she comes to stand next to
me, admiring the photo with love in her eyes. Her glasses sit far down on
her nose, and she looks over the top of the frame.
“That girl, I swear. Ever since she was just a little thing, she’s been
ready to take on the world. Didn’t matter what it was, she was convinced
that if she put her mind to it, she could achieve anything.”
 I nod. I was like that too when I was young. Fresh. Had stars in my
eyes. The second I stepped out onto the ice, I felt unbeatable. Like a king,
overlooking his castle.
Funny how life knocks you down when you feel like you’re at your
highest. Its own way of humbling you.
“Anyway, breakfast is in here, sweetheart.” She gestures to the end of
the hallway.
“Thank you.”
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I walk to the dining room. Entering,
I’m taken back with how spacious it is. The inn doesn’t look tiny from the
outside, but it definitely is ten times bigger than it looks. The room is
elongated with a huge, dark oak table set with individual place settings and
the middle is filled with every breakfast food you could possibly think of:
eggs, bacon, hash browns, muffins, biscuits.
Hell, just looking at it I know I’m going to have to work out twice a day
when I get home or I’ll find my ass flat on the ice.
With perfect timing, my stomach grumbles as my appetite flares.
I’m a growing boy, what can I say?
My eyes scan the room for Maddison, and I find her at the very end of
the table. She’s chatting with an older man who sits to her left, and as luck
would have it, the chair across from her isn’t taken. I walk over and slide
the chair out before taking a seat.
When her eyes flare up and meet mine, she grins shyly. I want to tell
her, after having her pussy on my tongue less than an hour ago, there’s
nothing to be shy about, but I’m guessing her grandmother’s breakfast table
is not the place to say it.
“Hi.” I smirk.
Her honeydew eyes glimmer. “Hi.”
Neither of us says anything else, but it’s one of those moments where it
doesn’t have to be said. I can feel it.
 Her eyes tell me everything I need to know.
Seconds later, her grandmother walks through the double French doors
then closes them behind her. Even though it’s hardly eight a.m., her apron is
already covered in flour and there’s a smear of it across her cheek.
Something I didn’t notice earlier.
“Good morning, everyone. Feel free to dig in!”
I can tell she’s the kind of woman who enjoys hosting and feeding
everyone. A lot like my own grandmother was. She loved to have us guys
over after hockey practice, so she could feed us and complain about all the
dirt we tracked in, even though we all knew she lived for those days. She
passed away when I was a teenager, and I still miss her every day.
Everyone begins making their plates, including myself. I load it down
with eggs and pancakes and extra bacon because I’m a meat kind of guy.
All while sharing secret, heated glances with Maddison.
I smirk when she misses the sausage she’s trying to stab with her fork
because we’re eye-fucking each other at the table. We’re like teenagers
right now, but fuck, I’m so into her I don’t even give a shit.
After our plates are made and everyone’s seated at the table, lost in
conversation, Maddison’s grandmother joins us at the head of the table with
her plate and begins speaking.
“Maddison, darling, did you have a good sleep last night?” she asks.
Maddison’s eyes fly up to meet mine, and we stare at each other for a
moment. Rolling her lips together, to stifle the smile, we lose it. Both of us
laughing so hard, the entire table shakes in front of us.
Her grandmother looks alarmed, her eyes flicking between the two of
us.
“Yes, Grams, I had a wonderful night. Very pleasurable.”
Having just taken a bite of eggs from my plate, I choke on them mid-
swallow and almost fucking die.
Jesus Christ.
 She’s truly my dream girl. In the fucking flesh, sitting right here in front
of me.
Somehow, I dislodge the eggs from my throat and clear it before taking
a swallow of the orange juice in front of me.
“You have a lovely inn, Margaret,” I tell her grandmother, putting on
my most charming smile, determined to win her over as well.
Her eyes crinkle as she smiles. “Oh, you are just a doll. Thank you so
much. Henry, my husband, and I have worked on this old place since we
weren’t much older than Maddison. It was my mama and daddy’s place, and
when they were ready to retire, they passed it on to Henry and me. Lots of
love in these walls, that’s for sure. Now that Henry’s gone, it’s just me but
still full of love. Even if everything does constantly keep breaking and
costing me money.” She laughs quietly.
Maddison nods. “I love this place. I don’t get a chance often to leave
school and come down, but when I do, I head straight here for a relaxing,
stress-free weekend.”
Her grandmother pats her hand, smiling. “And we’re so proud of you,
honey.”
“Thanks, Grams.”
“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” her grandmother asks her.
I’m still shoveling food in my face like I haven’t eaten in a week, and
suddenly, I’m fucking starving. I can’t tell you the last time I had a home-
cooked meal that wasn’t made by my housekeeper who took pity on me.
Dinner at my parents wasn’t a thing anymore, so it’s just been me and all of
the takeout menus in my junk drawer.
“I have an idea, are the keys on the rack?”
Her grandmother nods. “Sure are. Just be careful, darling, there looks
like there might be another storm rolling through this evening. Keep the
radio on, and your eye on the weather.”
 My interest is piqued, so I look at Maddison with my eyebrows raised in
question. She just grins and plops another grape in her mouth. Who knew
eating fruit could be sexy?
Somehow, she makes it erotic, and I stifle a groan. Even after my extra
shower time, I’m still semi-hard for her. That says a lot, since her
grandmother is sitting three feet from us.
I’m going to hell. Signed and sealed.
The rest of breakfast passes, torturously slow, and finally the guests start
to disperse. Margaret begins to pick up the empty plates and trash, and I
stand to help her.
“Oh no, honey, you’re a guest. Please, go enjoy the lake.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods, smiling warmly. “Of course I am. Go on, have a good day.”
Walking toward the kitchen, she says over her shoulder, “You two stay out
of trouble, you hear?”
Maddison appears back in the dining room, wearing a pair of short, cut-
off shorts that are frayed around the legs, and a tank top with a bright bikini
peeking out from under it and a mischievous grin on her glossy lips. She’s
got a bright pink floppy hat on her head, with her blonde curls cascading
down her back, and what looks like a beach bag stuffed to the brim on her
shoulder.
“Going somewhere?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Trust me?”
Using my lines on me, I see.
“Yes. Am I insane to?” I grin.
“Go upstairs, grab some swim trunks and a toothbrush. Meet me on the
dock in ten.”
Before I can even respond, she turns on her heel and leaves me standing
in the dining room, wondering what she has planned.
 I jog up the stairs, brush my teeth, change into a pair of swim trunks,
then empty the duffle bag I brought and shove my toothbrush, a pair of
clean underwear and a change of clothes inside then lock the door behind
me.
When I get outside, Maddison is standing next to a boat with the name
Lucille written on the side. It’s older, but obviously still in impeccable
shape. The paint still gleams as the sunlight casts down on it.
“Wow,” I say, walking over to the side where she's standing. She’s got
her aviators on and beams up at me when she sees me.
“How about an adventure?”
I shrug. “I’m told I’m an adventurous kinda guy.”
She smiles wider, before grabbing my hand and yanking me on to the
boat. She leans into my arms the second I’m safely on board, and I pull her
to me, sealing my lips over hers.
We’re like two lovesick teenagers, and right now, I can’t even find the
fuck to care.
"Hi,” I say.
“Hi.”
I drop the duffle bag on the bench at the back of the boat and look
around us.
“Nice boat. Yours?”
She pulls back out of my arms and walks over to the cockpit and does a
twirl that makes my heart pound in my chest.
“My grandpa’s. I think the first time I got to drive her, I was five years
old. By the time I was a teenager, I was able to take her out on my own,
because I had practically been behind the wheel since I could walk. It’s my
favorite thing to do when I come and visit my grandparents.”
I step closer to her, placing my hand on top of hers on the wheel. “So,
what you’re telling me is that I’m putting my life in your hands on this
thing, right?”
 She smirks. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. What, you don’t think a
girl is capable of handling this massive thing?”
Pretty sure she didn’t mean it the way that it came out, but I laugh
anyway, and shake my head at the innuendo behind her words. “I have no
doubt that you can handle massive things, Mads.”
Her cheeks immediately tint pink. “Oh god, I didn’t mean it like that I
just mean-”
I silence her with my lips, dipping my tongue inside her mouth and
kissing her until her hands reach up to fist in my t-shirt. “I know, babe. Just
kidding.”
The level of comfort between us… it shocks me. A girl I’ve known for
just over twenty-four hours makes me feel more at home than I have with
any of the people in my life for the past year. When she looks at me, it
doesn’t feel like she’s looking right through me to all of the fucked-up
things I’ve been doing, but she sees me. The real me.
The man I really am.
The man who’s loyal and compassionate and honest.
“Ready?” she asks.
I nod. “When you are. Just remember, you’ve got precious cargo on
here.”
Her eyes roll as she stands behind the wheel that seems to be twice the
size of her. She presses a few buttons, then walks to the back of the boat,
untying it from the dock, and hops back in.
I stand close by and watch as she seemingly goes through a mental
checklist to get us ready to push off.
The boat is definitely older, but I’m impressed with its upkeep. There’s
a hatch that leads down a flight of stairs to the cabin of the boat, meaning
there’s probably a small bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. There is a spot for
poles, and a tackle box tucked under the bench in the front.
 Maddison eases us away from the dock, careful not to cause a wake,
since there are a few people swimming by the shore. I sit on the bench
opposite of her and watch as she expertly maneuvers us out on the lake.
She’s so feminine and delicate, doing something as strong as driving a boat
and it blows my mind.
“I heard that you used to want to be a professional fisherman when you
were little.”
Her head whips toward me, eyes wide, and the pink on her cheeks even
brighter now. “God, Grams has to tell everyone that when they see that
picture.”
I laugh, “I loved it. You were an adorable kid.”
“I used to want to be a lot of things.” She speaks up as she pushes the
throttle, increasing the speed. “I was always the kid who had big ideas, and
even bigger hopes and dreams. That’s why I work so hard at my career. I’m
in a career mostly dominated by men, and I refuse to let the fact that I’m a
female hinder me in any way.”
“I respect that. I’m sure the others you work with do too.”
She nods. “Sometimes. Wanna come learn a thing or two?” She smiles
brightly, changing the subject.
I get up from the bench and walk behind her, pressing against her small
frame. My arms easily fit over her shoulders as I grab the wheel, and
together, we steer out farther onto the lake. I try and focus on the different
controls she’s telling me about, but all I can do is focus on her scent, the
way her body fits so perfectly against mine. I feel like I’m drunk. On
Maddison.
“Briggs, pay attention,” she scolds me, teasingly.
“I can’t help it. You’re distracting me, and I can’t focus.” Using my
right hand, I push her hair off her neck and run my nose along the delicate
slope of her tan shoulder before planting a single kiss along her pulse point.
“You drive me crazy.”
 “Likewise, babe.”
Untangling myself from her, I walk back over to the bench and sit
down. I hate putting any distance between us, but she’s obviously on a
mission to take us out on the lake, and with me touching her, we aren’t
going to make it very far.
“We’re almost there.”
She drives the boat along the lake, the wind whipping through her
blonde hair, stirring the floppy hat on her head. Up ahead, there’s a large
cliff to the side of the lake, with a small shore where we seem to be headed.
The closer we get, the taller the cliff seems. The entire place looks like it’s
out of a nature magazine. Sprawling pine trees, sandy shoreline, with a
looming clay cliff covered in sparse trees.
“Wow, it’s gorgeous.”
She nods. “This is my favorite spot. We’re going to tie off on the dock
over there. We can leave our bags on the boat, in the bedroom below.”
“Maddison, I’m scandalized. Did you assume I was ready for a
sleepover?”
My teasing causes her to roll her eyes. “Do I need to remind you of
what we did earlier before we even had breakfast?”
“You know what, yes. I do need a reminder. Matter of fact, if you want,
we can do a play-by-play below deck.”
She pushes my shoulder when she walks by to tie the boat off. “You’re
incorrigible.”
I help her tie the boat off, then we both go below deck and put our bags
on the small queen-size bed. I’m six three, my feet will probably hang off
the end. It’s tight, but cozy. There’s a small kitchenette right outside the
bedroom, and a bathroom with a small shower and toilet to the right of the
bedroom.
My six-foot-three self has to duck when going through the doors, and
Maddison thinks that’s fucking hilarious.
 “God, I didn’t realize how tall you are until seeing you in here.” She
giggles before sitting down on the bed and resting back on her arms.
She looks good enough to eat and I tell her so. “As much as I want to
get you in this bed and devour you, if we don’t get out of here in the next
thirty seconds, we’ll never see the outside of this boat.”
Her eyes grow molten, but she stands and brushes past me, tossing me a
smirk over her shoulder as she sashays up the stairs.
This girl is going to be the death of me.
I follow her up the stairs and onto the dock, where she’s grabbed her
beach bag.
“Ready?’
“For?”
She glances to the top of the cliff then back at me. “We’re going to
jump!”
My eyes widen. “Hell no. We are not going to jump off a fucking c-cliff,
Maddison,” I stutter over my words.
Hell, there aren’t many things I’m afraid of, but heights? Yeah, that’s
number fucking one on my list. There’s no fucking way I’m going up there.
Maddison steps closer, placing her hands on my chest and gazing up at
me with her wide, honey-flecked golden eyes. “Are you afraid of heights?”
I swallow thickly, my eyes darting to the cliff and then squeezing shut.
“Yes, I am.”
"And here I thought you were fearless, Briggs. Remember last night
when you told me how much of a chicken I was for not wanting to jump
into that pitch black lake in the middle of the night?”
Fuck no. I am not going up there for any reason. Not even if she calls
me a chicken.
She sighs heavily, batting her lashes at me dramatically. “Guess I won’t
be giving you that thing I’ve been thinking about since this morning after
all.”
 “Woman, are you blackmailing me right now?”
“Call it what you want, but…” She shrugs, then trails off, and starts to
walk to the cliff.
She’s going to fucking leave me here and jump off that damn thing by
herself. Hell no.
I groan. “Fuck.”
This is not happening. I came to this damn inn in the middle of nowhere
to detox and relax and then somehow find the girl of my fucking dreams,
who’s got me even considering jumping off this damn thing. I’ll be headed
back to Chicago in a casket. Goodbye hockey career, goodbye life in
general.
“We’re going to die,” I tell her simply.
Maddison laughs, the sound hitting me directly in the gut. It’s soft and
feminine, and so fucking sweet. “You are so dramatic. We are not going to
die, Briggs. Do you know how many kids jump off this thing every
summer?”
I look up at the looming monstrosity, my stomach churning at the
thought of climbing up it, let alone jumping off the side. Its daunting size
has my stomach in knots.
“Yeah, well, how about we just go for a swim and have a repeat of
before breakfast?”
Giving me a sly smile, she walks backward on the dock toward the trail
that leads up the cliff, and I groan again.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this shit.”
She laughs. “There’s something liberating about facing your fears,
Briggs, no matter how big or small they are.”
“Yeah, right,” I grumble.
When I catch up to her, she slides her hand in mine and squeezes gently,
reassuring me. We stay on the path that leads upwards, and I know better
than to look over the side of the cliff because I’ll probably pass out if I do.
 The entire way up, I’m pep-talking myself. Telling myself it’s just a
fucking cliff, and I can do it. That the entire thing will last five minutes. I
can fucking do it. I will fucking do it.
“You okay?”
I nod. “Trying to convince myself that we’re not both going to die.”
She stops and turns toward me, running her hands along the scruff at my
cheeks. “I promise you. We’re not going to die. Plus, the view… it’s
incredible. You have to see it. And you’ll want to do it again once we do it
the first time.”
“Doubtful.”
Finally, after a twenty-minute walk to the top we reach the ledge, that
overlooks the entire lake. You can see for what looks like miles, over the
tops of the trees.
“Hell,” I curse.
“Let’s sit?”
“Fuck yes, please,” I mutter.
We find a spot that’s a decent distance from the edge, which
immediately makes me feel better.
Maddison giggles when she slides her hand in mine and feels the
clamminess. “I’m sorry for teasing you about coming up here.”
“I’m fine. Just not a fan of heights, that’s all.”
“I’ll tell you another one of my fears, and I give you full permission to
laugh at me because I know it’s ridiculous,” she says, looking over at me,
her long blonde hair falling in a curtain around her shoulders.
“I doubt I’ll laugh, but fine, make me feel better about it.”
“Jack in the box.”
My shoulders shake with laughter. “Like, the fast-food chain?”
“Oh my god, no, like the old toy from like the fifties where you turn the
crank and the thing pops out and scares you. I swear, I don’t understand
why you would even get children that creepy thing.”
 "Okay, I admit those things are weird. I think my grandma had one
when she was younger and she kept it as like an heirloom or some shit,
except none of us would ever touch it when we came over.”
“See!” she exclaims, laughing. “At least I’m not the only one. I feel
better now.”
I rub my thumb along her hand in soft, gentle circles. We both peer out
into the distance, comfortable just being… being together, in each other’s
presence, not in any rush to let the moment pass us by. I can say it’s the first
time in my life I’ve ever felt so connected with a woman, so effortlessly.
“What scares you the most?”
I mull over my answer before responding. My fears weren’t all
stereotypical, like heights or spiders, most of them were internal fears that I
continued to battle going forward each day. A direct result of the past few
years of my life.
“Failure. Loving someone with everything I have only for them to
betray me,” I whisper.
I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to love anyone and give them all of
me again. Not after everything I’ve endured. I don’t know if I have it in me
to ever fully trust another person.
I hate it. I hate that they did this to me, made me so unwilling to trust
anyone because I’d been hurt so badly.
“Trust is hard. Been there, done that,” she says, “Remember that
problem I didn’t want to talk about?”
I nod.
“My best friend and I got into a fight over something that turned into
something much bigger, and things were said that can’t be taken back, and
it hurts. All of it hurts, even though it was only said in anger. You can’t
unsay things, even if they were only said because you were hurt,” she says
quietly, her eyes taking on sadness.
 “Doesn’t make it hurt any less, the reasoning behind it. I get it. I’ve…
hurt a lot of people in my life recently, and even though I had a legitimate
reason for acting the way that I did, it didn’t make it hurt them any less.
And now I live with the guilt of it. Of all the shit I fucked up in the process
of dealing with my own pain.”
Maddison reaches out and places her hand on mine, her thumb rubbing
a light circle on my hand. There’s something real and raw about this
moment. It feels like the first real, genuine conversation I’ve had in years.
Her gaze holds mine and something electric passes between us.
Something tangible. A burst of energy tethering us together in this moment.
“Life isn’t black or white, Briggs, sometimes the edges aren’t rounded,
and sometimes you have to let those sharp edges pierce you in order to heal
and be better than you were before,” she says quietly.
 SEVEN

I REPLAY her words over and over in my head, letting them sink in.
“I know we kind of said that we weren’t going to talk about our
problems, but I don’t know, after this weekend, I feel like I could tell you
anything. Honestly, more than a lot of the people in my life. If you want to
talk, then...I’m here for you too,” she says softly, her eyes softening when
our gaze meets.
I give her a small smile. “Only if you tell me yours.”
Sighing heavily, she nods. “Okay.” She turns toward me, drawing her
knees up to her chest, and begins, “Tyler is my best friend. We grew up and
did everything together. I mean everything. I can’t remember a childhood
memory that doesn’t have Ty in it. Our summers were spent out here at
Grams and Gramps, on this very lake. When college started, we went
together. Our dorm rooms were across campus from each other, but we each
saved up from our part-time jobs and eventually moved in together.”
I bristle at the thought of her having something more with this guy and
then I realize how fucking stupid that is. I have no right, but it doesn’t
tamper the flare of jealousy that sparks inside me. I don’t even know where
she’s from or her last name; it’s a fling, but it doesn’t stop that feeling.
She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, gazing out to the distance.
“Everyone always assumed we would end up together. You know, actually
together, but it was never like that for us. Neither of us ever had any
feelings that were anything other than platonic.” She pauses, looking back
at me. “The other night, we got in a silly, stupid fight. He was angry
about…something with my job. Something that he doesn’t agree with, and
we both said things that neither of us meant, and once it was over… we
couldn’t take those things back. It was too late. They had already pierced
my heart and I couldn’t just forget that they'd been said. I’ve just been
struggling with things, to find our friendship again, to find us, despite what
was said.” She wipes away a tear that’s fallen. “I mean, he knows me better
than anyone. He knows my character, and who I am. I just thought he’d
support me no matter what.”
Tears well in her eyes. “He’s like a brother to me and I love him, and I
know he would never hurt me, he just is very… opinionated on things, and
he lashed out at me when he was angry.”
“Come ‘ere,” I say, pulling her into my arms. Her small frame fits
against my chest as she slides into my lap and sinks into my embrace. She
sniffles, and I feel bad for even bringing up the deep shit in the first place.
“We apologized and said we were going to move forward but… It hurt
me and I’m having a hard time forgetting it happened. I just… I wish that
he would’ve never said the things that he did.”
I nod. “I understand. You have every right to be hurt, but also things get
said whenever people are angry. Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of it.
Everyone is worthy of forgiveness. It sounds like you two love each other,
and that means no matter what, you’ll work through it.”
Her tear-filled eyes meet mine and we share a look, one that I feel in the
pit of my stomach, then she leans forward and kisses me sweetly. “Thank
you, Briggs. That’s great advice.”
Part of me is curious what problem her friend would have with her job,
but we agreed to be strangers, and I don't want to take advantage of her
vulnerability with my questions, so I choose something lighter.
 “Are you a spy?” I ask. “Because it seems like you might be and I just
want you to know, I’m good with a Mr. and Mrs. Smith kinda thing. It’s
kinda hot,” I say to lighten the mood.
She throws her head back and laughs. “Not quite. Nothing so
scandalous, Romeo. Now it’s your turn. I bared my truth.”
Hell, I’m not ready for this conversation. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready
for it. The same familiar pain flares inside me, but I tamper it down.
Even though it physically pains me to utter the words out loud, I do, and
I think Maddison has everything to do with it. “I walked in on my brother
having sex with my fiancé, in our bed.”
Maddison completely stills in my arms and lets out a strangled gasp as
soon as the words leave my mouth.
“Oh Briggs,” she whispers, turning around in my lap to where her legs
are on each side of my hips as she cradles my unshaved face in her hands.
“I am so, so sorry.”
I clear my throat, trying to unclog the emotion that has me almost
choking. “The truth is, losing her didn’t faze me. She was never who I was
meant to be with and this shit opened my eyes to that. But losing my
brother? It killed me. It kills me to this day.”
Saying it out loud should bring me some relief, but all I feel is more
hurt and hatred for Beau and everything he’s done to our family. To me.
“Needless to say, my trust is fucked. The two people I cared about more
than anything in the world, betrayed me. I lost my shit, literally and
figuratively. Hurt everyone I loved because I was hurting. You know that
saying, “hurt people, hurt people?” That’s what my life was like for two
years. I fucked up at every turn, and now… now I’m trying to fix those
mistakes. It just seems like no matter which way I turn; I keep being
reminded of those mistakes, which never allows me to move past them.”
A look passes across Maddison’s face, one that I can’t place. Pity?
Probably. This is why I never wanted her to know who I was. This is why I
haven't mentioned hockey, or the issues that can come with being in the
public eye. I’m too scared that once she finds all the articles about my
fuckups, and how shitty of a person I’ve been for the past two years that
she’ll never look at me the same.
Without all of that shit dragging me down, she knows me. The real me,
without all of that bullshit.
“Listen to me.” She turns my face in her hands, so my eyes are on her.
“Your past does not define you. You are allowed to be hurt, you are allowed
to do whatever the fuck you have to do to move past it, and those that love
you won’t hold it against you as long as you learn. You grow. Don’t let
them have another second of your life when they don’t deserve it.”
I don’t even pause to think, I lean forward and kiss her. I show her how
much I needed to hear those words, to feel for the first time that I’m more
than a giant fuck-up. That this pain and betrayal is only temporary and that
one day I’ll be better than I was before it.
I lose myself in her. Shut out the rest and do nothing but feel her lips
beneath mine. Her body commanding mine in a way that feels liberating.
“Shit,” she mutters against my lips, still pressed tightly against my body
as we breathe each other in raggedly.
Pulling back, I see what she’s talking about. The sky around us has
turned black, and storm clouds are rolling in quickly.
“We have to go. Now.” She leaps off my lap and grabs her bag,
throwing it over her shoulder. I slide my hand in hers, and this time, we
waste no time making it down the trail toward the boat. The last thing we
needed to do is be caught out on the boat in the middle of another storm like
yesterday when we arrived at the inn. A torrential flood.
Just as we reach the bottom, big, heavy fat raindrops begin to fall. We
hop onto the boat, and while she starts the engine, I untie us free from the
dock and push off with my foot.
 Maddison quickly gets us back to the inn, even with the rain pelting us
from every direction, soaking us both completely. I help her tie up the boat,
and then, hand in hand, we run from the dock back toward the inn. The
entire way, Maddison is laughing as we’re both drenched to the core. Her
blonde hair is completely soaked and sticking to her face, and even though
she partially looks like a drowned rat, she’s so fucking hot.
When we make it under the cover of the porch, we stop, trying to catch
our breath as the rain pelts down beside us.
“Holy hell, the sky is falling.” She laughs, trying to wring out her hair.
“I know. Came out of nowhere.”
She nods. “Welcome to lake life.”
Reaching out, I haul her against my body. Beneath her tank top her
nipples are hard and pebbled, straining against her top. I can feel the
hardened peaks against my chest.
“You are so beautiful,” I tell her, bringing my hands up to cradle her
face, swiping my thumb against her cheek. “So fucking beautiful it hurts.”
“Wouldn’t want to hurt you, Romeo.” She grins cheekily, then stands on
her tiptoes and laces her hands behind my neck. The second her lips touch
mine, the torrential rain around us fades away, the fact that we’re freezing
in the cool summer rain, the fact that anyone could walk out here and see us
making out like a bunch of teenagers. Nothing else matters but her lips, her
moans as I slide my tongue inside her mouth and kiss her breathless.
“Briggs,” she breaks free from our kiss to mumble, “Upstairs. Now.
Please.”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice. I’ve been dying to have her again
since I devoured her this morning. There hasn’t been a second the entire day
that I haven’t wished we stayed inside those four walls, so I can have my
fill of her.
Her hand fumbles with the door, and she opens it, revealing an empty
foyer. Thank fuck. As much as I want her, I would prefer to do it in private
and not in front of her grandmother or any other audience.
The door slams shut behind us and her hands fist in my shirt, yanking
me back toward her, taking what she needs. I kiss her hard, nipping at that
bottom lip that’s driven me fucking crazy for the past forty-eight hours.
When I roll it between my teeth, she moans into my mouth, sending a bolt
of arousal straight to my cock.
"Quiet,” she whispers against my lips, and I nod.
At this rate, we’ll never make it up the stairs. Each step our kissing
becomes more frantic than the last. Desperately unraveling as we make our
way up to my room. Halfway up, I say fuck it, and lift her off her feet,
hauling her ass up. She wraps her legs around my waist and rolls her hips,
causing us both to groan.
When it echoes off the staircase, she pulls back, eyes wide, and places a
finger over her lips. “Shh.”
Before I can even respond, her lips are back on mine, and her fingers
are tugging at the sopping wet strands of my hair. Finally, some fucking
how, we make it up the stairs to the top of the landing, and to my door. I set
her on her feet to pull the key I stuffed into my pocket out and open the
door. Pulling her inside, I shut the door and lock it, and it’s game over.
She lifts the hem of her tank top over her head and pulls the string loose
from her bikini, letting it fall free. Her tits spill out, heavy and full. Her
rosy, pink, hardened nipples stand at attention, begging to be sucked. To be
bitten.
Her gaze darkens as she watches me drink in her body, and then she
opens the button of her tattered shorts, and slowly drags them down her
hips. Inch by inch, until they pool at her feet, leaving her in nothing but the
tiny triangle of her cheeky bikini.
My mouth goes dry. Her body is fucking exquisite, and it’s taking all the
restraint that I possess to keep my hands off of her and watch the show that
she’s putting on. My hands itch to run down her ample curves, my fingers
digging into her flesh as I fuck her.
Biting her lip, she slowly unties the strings at the side of her bikini
bottom, and it falls to the floor in one swift motion, leaving her completely
naked, and a sight to behold.
“Goddamn,” I curse, biting my fist.
"Your turn,” she whispers, running her hands up her body to cup her tits.
I watch as she rolls her nipples between her fingers.
I reach behind my head and pull off the wet t-shirt that’s slicked to my
body, then toss it to the side. I kick off my shoes and pull the trunks down
to pool at my feet. When my eyes drag up to meet hers, I see the lust in her
eyes.
Fuck this.
I close the distance between us, sliding my hands into her hair at her
nape as I pull her to me and close my lips over hers, groaning when her
nails rake down my stomach lightly.
We’re desperate for this. For each other. I pick her up and carry her to
the bed, tossing her onto the plush mattress. She giggles and crawls
backward, teasing me, but I grab her ankle and haul her toward me. My lips
latch onto her taut nipple and I suck, one then the other, then kiss the
sensitive flesh around them. I suck the skin, knowing damn well that she’ll
have marks after this.
I want, no need, to mark her, everywhere, to show the entire goddamn
world that she’s mine, even if it’s only for now.
As I’m admiring her glorious tits, she pushes on my chest, flipping us
over. With her pussy pressed against my cock and only the thin barrier of
my soaked briefs, she rocks back and forth. A breathless moan leaves her
lips, and I swear to fucking God, I almost come. My cock throbs in sync
with my heart that is pounding against my chest as Maddison grins at me
cheekily before leaning forward and capturing my nipple in her mouth.
 She sucks it into her mouth and uses her nail to scrape my other nipple,
all while I’m palming my dick, desperate to sink inside of her.
Her lips trail down my abdomen, dipping into the ridges of my abs, until
she reaches the patch of hair leading down into my briefs. Using her tongue,
she traces my Adonis belt, and my hips jerk.
Fuck, she’s creating a frenzy inside of me. I’m like a cave man, ready to
burst free and claim her in every fucking way possible.
“God, you must work out twenty-four seven.”
“Something like that.” I groan when she kisses my cock lightly through
the wet fabric then hooks her fingers in my briefs and pulls them down,
freeing my cock. It bobs against my stomach, hard and straining, precum
beading from the slit.
Her tiny hands wrap around me, pumping me slowly, torturously, before
she leans down and closes her perfect heart-shaped mouth around the head
of my cock.
If I thought heaven existed before this moment, I was wrong. Heaven
only exists if Maddison is in it. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, after
all the shit I did, but goddamn, she’s like an angel.
An angel with a mouth that would make any man sin. She could ask
anything of me in this moment, and I wouldn’t hesitate.
“Fuckkkk,” I groan. My hands lace in her blonde hair, and I wrap it
gently around my fist. My hips flex as she sucks me into her mouth. There’s
nothing slow about this, Maddison doesn’t hesitate to deep throat me until
I’m ready to blow after only a few torturous moments. Using her hands, she
pumps me, then takes me down her throat and swallows around my cock.
One hand fondles my balls, rolling them in her hand while she sucks the
life out of me.
So hard, I see goddamn stars.
I feel myself building, winding up inside, the base of my spine tingles,
my balls feel tight and ready to fucking explode, when I pull free of her
mouth. The last place I want to come is her mouth; I want to come inside
her.
“I’m going to come, and I can’t fucking wait to be inside you,” I tell
her, before kissing her. I lay her back on the bed beneath me, and bring my
fingers to her pussy, finding her soaked. She’s slick against my fingers.
“Greedy girl, do you want me to make you come?” I ask.
My thumb grazes her clit, causing her to whimper, and it shoots straight
to my dick. The best sound I’ve ever fucking heard. I rub her greedy little
nub roughly in tight circles. Her nails sink into my forearm as she holds on.
Both of us are taut with need, wound so fucking tight that I doubt either of
us will be able to fend off what’s coming the second I sink inside her wet
heat.
“Please,” Maddison begs.
“Tell me, baby, tell me what you need.”
She looks at me with heavy-lidded eyes. “I need you to fuck me. I can’t
wait another second.” She reaches down and wraps her fist around my cock,
guiding me toward her entrance, until my hand replaces hers and I drag the
blunt head of my cock through her soaked pussy.
I push into her gently, slightly with just my head, and we both groan in
unison. She’s so fucking tight around me I can hardly breathe. It’s like all
the air flow to my brain has been cut off by her pussy strangling my cock.
There’s no way I’ll last, not like this. Not with her.
She feels so goddamn incredible that I start reciting the alphabet in my
head, willing myself not to burst inside of her without bringing her with me.
I run my hand down her body, gripping her hip in my hand before
hitching her leg higher, and sliding inch by inch inside of her until I’m fully
seated. Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut, so I give her a moment to adjust
to me.
Only when her eyes pop open, and a breathless, delicious sigh escapes
her lips, do I flex my hips, pushing deeper inside of her.
 “Is this okay?”
She nods vehemently. “More.” The low, hoarse rasp of her voice, laced
with arousal reaches inside of me and caresses the part of me that is wild for
her. I pull almost completely out of her and slide back in, this time
bottoming out. I feel the head of my cock crashing against her cervix with
every slap of my hips.
Each time I thrust, she moans so loud I’m sure everyone down the damn
hallway can hear us, so I silence her with my mouth. My hands run up her
hips, to the peak of her nipples, and I roll one between my thumb and
forefinger, before dropping my forehead down to hers and fucking her like
she’s a lifeline, and the only way I’ll walk out of this room whole again
after being broken for so goddamn long.
“Briggs,” she cries. I can feel her tightening around my cock, sucking
me in.
Forehead to forehead, we’re caught in this… moment, that feels so
goddamn big the walls around us can’t contain it. It feels powerful. Moving.
Life fucking changing.
Something I’ve never experienced with anyone else.
“I know, baby,” I whisper, understanding her cries. I fucking feel it. In
my goddamn bones. This connection that I’ve never had before this
moment.
I slide my hand down her stomach to her clit and rub quick circles as I
fuck her, dragging my cock in and out of her in hard, deep thrusts. I lace our
hands together above her head, as her eyes lock on to mine.
"Come for me. Come on my cock, Maddison,” I command her, then
drop my hand to her clit, and use my fingers and my cock to bring her over
the edge. I can feel her pulsate around me as I rock into her, her nails
dragging down my back so deeply I feel the burn, and fuck if it doesn’t
make me even harder.
I want to possess her, every inch of her.
 “Now, baby,” I coax. Seconds later, we’re falling, and together, we
detonate. A bomb with a million different facets, each glistening in the
light. Her pussy clenches around me as I thrust deep and erupt inside of her,
coming on a roar.
She cries out as her back bows from the bed, her body trembling with
what I know is as powerful of an orgasm as mine. My thrusts slow, and
gradually, I float back down to earth from the heavens above. We’re both
sticky with sweat, as I drop onto the bed beside her, pulling her with me.
My cock is still buried inside of her, and it feels so damn good to be inside
of her that I want to stay here for the rest of my life if I could.
“Wow,” she mumbles against my skin.
I pull her tighter to me, burying my face in her hair. “I’m gonna take
that as a compliment.”
She laughs, snuggling tighter against me.
That was fucking intense, hands down the best sex of my life.
Intense doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word for whatever just
happened, but right now, in the total bliss that I’m feeling, I’m lost for
words.
Whatever it was, it felt like… more. Maddison just feels like more.
“Maybe being strangers is a bad thing if we have to miss out on this.”
I’m partially teasing, partially not. I want her again; even now, my cock is
twitching at the thought of being inside of her.
Her wide, hazel eyes drag up to meet mine and when her tiny hand
wraps around my hardening length, and desire flares in the depths, I roll her
on top of me and spend the rest of the night having her on every single
surface of the room, until finally, she’s laid in my arms and spent. After a
few minutes, Maddison goes slack in my arms, and once her breathing
evens out, I follow behind her.
I fall asleep with her head on my chest and sleep better than I have in
months. Maybe even years. For the first time, the last thing I think before I
close my eyes isn’t how badly I hate who I’ve become, like so many days in
the past, but a thank you to whoever’s upstairs for this woman who’s made
me feel again.
That is until the next morning when I wake up, the bed cold and empty.
I crack my eyes open, the sunlight streaming bright and hot through the
sheer curtains and find her gone.
The only thing left in her place…
A messy note that says, “I’m sorry.”
And just like that… the best weekend of my life was over.
EIGHT
 NINE MONTHS LATER

“DID YOU GET THE BLANKET?” I ask over my shoulder, scanning the
pile of clothes and random things on the deep blue rug in front of me.
“Yep.”
“What about the cream?”
“Got that too.”
The weight on my shoulders, and well, my entire body in general,
causes me to huff. Everything hurts and I do mean… everything. I’m
hurting in places I didn’t even know existed until now.
“Maddison, you’ve checked everything at least three times. I think
you’re as prepared as you can possibly get,” Tyler, my best friend, says as
he walks into the room holding the items I asked for.
“I’m thirty-nine weeks pregnant, Ty. Being over-prepared is the best
possible thing I can be.”
He looks at me with sympathy before pulling me in for a hug. As much
as he can with a ginormous basketball belly between us. It’s moments like
this that I am more than thankful for both Tyler and Kyle. Without them,
there is no way I would’ve made it through… all of this, alone. They’ve
sacrificed their newlywed bliss to be here for my pregnancy, and it means
everything to me.
 “How about you try relaxing before you literally pop?” Ty chastises me.
“You’ve been overworking yourself. Take a moment to sit and relax.”
It’s all becoming so much more real as the clock ticks on. I’m getting
nervous and anxious and honestly… I’m afraid. Just as any first-time
mother would be. Except my situation is nothing like what most mothers
experience when welcoming their first child, even at twenty-three.
My eyes mist over at the thought. The same one that has plagued me
since the moment I saw those two pink lines and realized that my life was
never going to be the same.
“Are you crying again?” Tyler asks.
I sniffle and nod. “I’m hormonal, Ty. Cut me some slack.”
The truth is, I’ve accepted what happened and I’ve done my best to
move forward and prepare for my sweet girl, knowing I’d be doing it alone.
Well, with Ty and Kyle by my side.
And maybe it’s not the complete truth. Maybe sometimes when it’s late
at night, and I’m alone, rubbing my belly, thinking about our future, I wish
things were different.
Sometimes I wish that I never met him in the first place, the man with
the steel gray eyes that seemed to see straight through me, that broke my
heart in just one weekend, and continued to shatter it to pieces every day
afterwards. But, he gave me my daughter, and in the end, that’s all that
really matters. We would be okay, just she and I taking on the rest of the
world.
Honestly, Tyler finding Kyle happened at the perfect time, because I
needed someone else in my corner. Someone I could trust and lean on. They
met shortly after everything happened between us. When I got home from
the Brickside, Tyler and I had a long, much-needed talk about the past and
my job. There were lots of tears shed, but, in the end, it brought us even
closer together. And now? Kyle is just as big a part of my life as Ty is. He’s
the level-headed one in our friendship.
 “Are you in your head again?” Ty looks at me with pity in his eyes. I
hate that look, and it’s the same one he’s bestowed upon me since he found
out what happened.
“I’m fine. Just running over my to-do list in my head as I go.”
The look he gives me shows he doesn’t believe me, but thankfully, he
doesn’t press. It’s not that I haven’t thought about the man who broke my
heart over the last nine months. It was impossible not to, not with his child
growing inside of me; it was just that I desperately tried to push him from
my mind after everything that happened.
I think back to when I found out I was pregnant.
“Oh god,” I cry, my hand shaking so badly that I can hardly hold the
flimsy stick in my hand. “No, it’s just no... there’s no way, Ty.”
His eyes are filled with the same unshed tears that shine back in mine.
This is not the plan; this was never part of the plan.
“It was just one night,” I cry. “One stupid, reckless night where I
listened to my heart instead of my head, and this is what happens? The one
and only time I allow myself a moment of freedom.”
I collapse onto the cold tile floor of the bathroom and pull my knees to
my chest as I cry. My cries quickly turn into sobs, so hard that my body
shakes against the floor, and Ty drops down to his knees and pulls me into
his arms. I sink into the embrace, desperate for some type of connection
right now when I feel so utterly used and alone.
“It’s not the end of the world, darling.”
Looking up at him, my eyes clouded with mascara and stinging tears.
“Ty, it’s a baby. I’m going to have a baby alone.”
The severity of the situation sinks into my bones and I sag against his
embrace.
One night… turned into so much more.
My life would never be the same now.
 “You don’t have to be alone, Madds, you can reach out to him,” Tyler
says simply. If only it were that easy.
“He doesn’t even know me. It was a weekend fling, never meant to be
more than that.”
I groan, a new flood of tears pouring down my face. This is a nightmare.
A literal one that I’m unable to wake up from. Only I would have a one-
night stand with the most charming, handsome, real man on the planet, but
it would all be a lie. When I went to my grandmother’s inn that day, the last
thing I expected was to run into Briggs. I mean quit literally, run into him
then proceed to knock him over linebacker-style into a heap on the foyer
floor.
He was kind and charming, with his dimpled grin, even if he was quiet
and somewhat broody all at the same time. It was later that night when
everyone had gone to sleep, that I had a small momentarily insane lapse in
judgment and brought out a bottle of tequila after seeing him again.
His handsome eyes gazing into the fire, his brow furrowed in thought,
he didn’t even hear me approach. I knew who he was the moment I saw him,
but when he didn’t breathe a word of his profession or fame, I knew he
didn’t want me to recognize him. I imagine that sometimes the fame, and the
fact that everyone knows who he is, can be overwhelming, so I played
along. I tried to forget everything I knew about the famous Briggs Wilson,
center for the Chicago Avalanche and all of the headlines that went with
him, and what did I learn? He was different from what everyone thought.
From how I reported he was. Kind, compassionate, selfless when it came to
his friends and family. He was so much more than what the public perceived
him to be. Different than what I thought he was going to be.
What started innocently changed into something combustible, with
flames so hot neither of us could contain the burn.
I left the next morning after lying awake for hours, listening to the
steady sound of his breathing. It wasn’t supposed to be so hard, to walk
away. A quick weekend, something to take my mind off of the huge fight Ty
and I had gotten into, and then… it turned into so much more. Yet, I knew
nothing could ever come from our night together. He’s a professional
hockey player, and I have more secrets in my closet than I could ever bear
to bring to light. He would hate me if he discovered the truth, and I wanted
him to remember the weekend we spent together as a positive memory, not
something he’d hate me for even more.
It was the best weekend of my life, and I walked away.
Except life had different plans for me, and now I had to face the
consequences of my actions.
“We didn’t exchange numbers or last names. Yes… obviously I know
who he really is, but I can’t just reach out and say ‘hi, remember me? The
girl you fucked into oblivion that one night, and uh, now, I’m pregnant. With
your baby.’”
Tyler looks at me incredulously before shaking his head, his tone firm.
“Yes, yes, you can. Look, you both weren’t one hundred percent honest that
weekend and whatever, that’s okay. You both had a night you won’t forget,
but this is real-life shit, Maddison. You can’t keep his baby from him and
you shouldn’t be expected to care for it all alone.”
“I would never keep a child from its father. That is the shittiest move on
the planet. You know me, I would never do something like that.”
He nods. “Then you have to find a way to contact him.”
I know he’s right, but part of me dreads, with everything inside of me,
about coming face-to-face with Briggs again. Not only because I’ll have to
tell him about our baby, but because I’ll have to tell him the truth about me.
About who I am.
“I know, and I will. I... just, I can’t believe…” I trail off, looking at the
test I’m still clutching in my shaking hand. It doesn’t feel real, even though
it’s bright and bold in front of me.
 Sitting on the cold bathroom floor, wrapped in my best friend’s arms, I
decide that no matter what, no matter what Briggs decides, I’m keeping this
baby. This isn’t my plan, not by a long shot, but now it’s my reality, and
regardless of how it came to be, I’m having a baby. This baby is going to
rely on me to care for it, love it, and be the best mother that I can be.
I want this baby. I want to give it all of my love. Even if it is just the two
of us. Taking on the world.
“It’s going to be okay, babe. I promise you. You never know, he may
surprise you. Not everyone is as they seem from the outside. And if he
decides not to be in the baby’s life then Kyle and I will be the best damn
baby daddies there ever were.”
I laugh through my tears, nodding at Ty. “You’re right. I’ll come up with
a plan. And everything will be okay, right?”
Tyler nods. “You’re not alone, we’ll be by your side every step, and
Briggs will step up. He will.”
Turns out, he was nothing like the man I thought I knew, even from our
short time spent together. And now, I’ve spent the last nine months
preparing for my baby, alone.
An obnoxious, loud creaking comes from overhead, jolting me from the
bittersweet memory still surrounding my heart. Caging it in like an
unwavering force.
“What in God’s name is that?” Ty screeches, glancing at the stained
ceiling above.
I can feel my cheeks warm. “Well, it seems like I’ve got a new upstairs
neighbor after Mrs. Hanley went into the nursing home, and let’s just say,
they partake in a lot of extracurricular activities.”
On cue, a man begins grunting at an obscenely loud rate, and I squeeze
my eyes shut, trying not to die of embarrassment on the ratty carpet of my
tiny bedroom.
 “Maddison,” Ty whispers in horror. “I’m going up there, right now!
Unacceptable. God, he sounds like a D-minus porn star!”
“No, no, no!” I screech, reaching out to stop him before he can make it
out the doorway. “It will just make it extremely uncomfortable and
awkward if we ever have to encounter each other on the elevator. It’s fine. I
just put my earbuds in and pretend that I don’t hear it.”
Tyler shakes his head incredulously. “Madds, you have to get out of this
place.” He glances around at my apartment, and I nod.
“I know, but right now, this is what I’ve got. It’s enough for Olive and
me. We’ll be fine. I think the maintenance man is supposed to be by next
week to fix the leaky faucet and take a look at the shower head. He said he
would try to get everything fixed soon.”
“If you need anything, I’m here, babe. Our apartment is small, but we
can make room for you and Olive at any time. He may have to sleep in the
bathtub, Kyle I mean, not Olive,” He grins, and holds out his arm for me to
walk into. When I do, he rubs my back soothingly, and I sigh.
“Everything will work out, just like it’s meant to. For the time being…
we’ve got socks to fold,” I say.
Tyler groans before saying, “Lead the way.”
 NINE

WHEN ELLIE, the shy girl I’ve sat next to all year in communications,
asked if I could fill in last minute for her at today’s press conference, I
almost said no. Even with my “people pleaser” personality. Because one,
well, I’m quite literally the size of a house, and two, I’m pretty sure my
ankles weren’t going to fit in the ridiculously expensive Louboutins that I
splurged on last year.
Turns out, I was wrong. Surprisingly, they do fit, and now I’m cursing
myself for agreeing in the first place. My feet feel like they’re falling off,
I’m exhausted, and even though it’ll all be worth it in the end, my puffy
ankles and face aren’t something I want to see on camera. Not to mention,
I’m more exhausted than normal since we’ve been prepping for Olive’s
arrival. Ty and Kyle have been at my apartment around the clock, helping
me get everything ready, and my body feels like it’s teetering on the edge of
a full breakdown.
“Stupid heels,” I mutter as I shove my laptop bag farther up on my arm.
It’s heavy, I’m tired of these stupid shoes, and honestly, I’d rather be at
home in pajamas and my feet propped up on a pillow.
I feel guilty for complaining, but then I think about the fact that I’m
about to burst after carrying this baby for the past nine months and try to
give myself a little bit of grace. Lost in thought and flustered at trying to
keep everything together before I even get into the office, I’m not paying
much attention to where I’m walking.
I run right into what feels like a solid brick wall, my notebooks flying
from my arms, and my bag in the opposite direction. My knee jerks up in
reaction, as I try and keep myself upright.
“Shit,” I hear a deep, low baritone cursing then a deep groan, as I shake
my head and try and figure out what in the hell just happened.
I push my hair back from my face and immediately squat down to pick
everything up then begin apologizing for not paying attention to where I’m
going. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying att-”
“Maddison?”
My gaze lifts to the man squatting down in front of me, and my stomach
plummets. The flustered feeling I was just experiencing turns to dread, and
my mouth goes dry.
No. No. No.
This is not happening.
I swallow thickly, then stand on my wobbly heels.
"Briggs,” I whisper.
I’m shocked and angry all over again, and the urge to punch him right in
the dick hits me square in the gut. The same time, there's a hard kick to my
abdomen from my little girl, probably warning me that giving birth in an
actual prison cell is not part of our birth plan.
“Holy shit... You’re here. I’ve looked… I’ve been looking for you for
almost a year,” he says quietly. His hand is still on my arm where he
reached out to steady me. I rip it away like I’ve been burned, and I guess... I
have been burned. One too many times by Briggs Wilson, and this
conversation, it’s not happening.
He’s a liar, and I refuse to listen to this.
Fixing my blazer, I pull it tighter over my stomach, still silent when his
light blue eyes drop down to my belly and widen.
 “Wow,” he breathes, his face a mask of shock. “You’re pregnant. Really
pregnant.” The confusion in his words only annoys me further.
What an asshole.
I scoff. “Get out of my way, Briggs.”
I brush past him to retrieve my discarded bag, but almost topple over
with the basketball connected to my front. These heels are going to put me
on my ass if I don’t get home soon. Suddenly, I feel strong hands at my
waist, and when I look back, Briggs is standing far too close to me, his
hands leaving me recoiling from his touch.
“Do not touch me,” I all but spit.
The anger in my veins is palpable, I can feel it radiating off me in
waves, and I hope he can feel it. I, no we, don’t want anything to do with
him, not now, not ever.
“Woah, why are you so angry, Maddison? What’s wrong?” The sincerity
in his tone causes me to pause and look up. His brow is furrowed in
confusion, and he looks so genuine, for a second, I almost believe him, and
then I remember what he did, and the choice that he made.
“Don’t you dare sit here and insult me this way by acting like you didn’t
know I was pregnant.” Fury laces my words and I realize I was speaking
much louder than intended when several eyes dart our way. I lower my
voice. “Now please, get out of my way.”
His brow furrows deeper, creating a crease between his piercing eyes,
then he glances down at my protruding stomach and back up at me.
“Holy fuck... Wait... I-... we were together ten months ago... at the inn...
you left before I-” He’s saying it out loud, but it seems to be more for
himself, as if he’s connecting unseen dots.
I remember vividly the day that he changed my life forever, and I don’t
mean the night he got me pregnant. The day that he signed his child away
without even having the courage to look me in the eye as he did so. I
thought at that moment that Briggs Wilson was out of my life, for good, and
we were better off without him.
So, imagine my shock, and anger, seeing him here. Even if I wasn’t
exhausted, achy in all of the wrong places, and very, very pregnant, I still
wouldn’t be in the mood for this.
I suck in a deep breath that seems to give me the strength to step closer
to Briggs, into his space. So close I smell the light scent of his aftershave,
and everything that Briggs is. Clean cedar with a splash of citrus. I’d know
it anywhere as it lingered in my memory for months after that weekend, and
I cursed him daily for changing the way those three things smelled forever.
There were a lot of things that changed forever, after that night.
I lift my chin to look up at him. “I’m not sure what the hell your
problem is, or if you think this is some sick joke, but I’ve got nothing to say
to you, had I not made that perfectly clear already. I guess I shouldn’t be
shocked that you, of all people, can’t take something like this seriously.
This isn’t a joke Briggs. This is my life, my daughter’s life, all of which you
decided not to be a part of.” I lower my voice into a hushed whisper, “You
made your choice and that’s fine with me. We don’t need you. I just want
you to leave us alone, like you promised.”
Briggs’ eyes widen and his face morphs into a mask of shock as his jaw
drops slightly. “Wait, hold up-” he starts, but I don’t bother standing here a
second longer to hear what he has to say. I hoist my bag up on my shoulder,
lift my chin higher and brush past him toward the office.
The entire conversation has shaken me to my core. I’m in complete
shock about how unexpected it was to actually come face to face with the
man who broke my heart before it was really even his to break. My hand
trembles as I press it to my stomach, trying to ground myself. Tears threaten
to spill, and I refuse to give him this.
To let him see me cry. He doesn’t deserve my tears.
“Maddison, wait,” he calls after me, but I walk faster, ignoring him.
 Just as I’m pulling the door to the office open, a hand envelops my arm
and lightly pulls. I look back at Briggs, his eyes are full of... something I
can’t place, and I’ve had enough.
“Let me go,” I hiss.
“Please, just give me five minutes. Just five minutes, Maddison,
please.” he pleads. “I’m so fucking lost.”
I can’t tell you why I stop, or even why I decide to grant him the five
minutes he’s asking for. It’s not as if he deserves it, and it’s not like the
anger I just felt isn’t still coursing through my veins. Maybe it’s the fact that
somewhere deep down, burrowed and nestled into the dark, singed part of
my heart, is a place that’s all his.
Regardless of whether he deserves it or not.
My eyes hold his gaze, searching for something to detect his intentions,
whether they’re genuine or not, but in the end, I simply nod. “Five
minutes.”
“Five minutes.”
I brush past him to the small bench in the courtyard. I’m desperate to sit
for a moment and give my feet a reprieve from these heels. When I sit on
the small concrete bench, I don’t expect Briggs to take the seat next to me,
but he does.
“Maddison, I didn’t know you were pregnant.”
His words sink in, causing unease and rage to form in the pit of my
stomach. “How can you sit here and look me in the eye and lie to me when
you couldn’t even look at me when you signed those papers.”
He shakes his head. “What papers? I’m not lying to you. Do you know
how long I looked for you? I searched everywhere. I even asked your
grandma for your information when I left the inn, and she said that you told
her not to give it to me. Maddison, I woke up and you were fucking gone,
after the best damn weekend of my life, fuck, it gutted me.” He holds his
hand over his heart, and I can see the pain in his eyes.
 Or maybe I’m imagining it, wishing that something is there that I don’t
really see.
I squeeze my eyes shut, desperately trying to hold onto the control I
have built up over the past ten months. Since that night. The wall I’ve
formed, clearly separating me from Briggs and any mention of him, seems
to be crumbling into a pile of debris at my feet.
“Maddison,” he says softly, and my eyes fly open, locking with his, “I
swear to god on everything I love, which is admittedly not much, but still, I
swear to you that I had no idea. You’re saying… she’s mine? She’s my
daughter?”
A lone tear streaks down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away,
gathering my composure. I wasn’t prepared for this conversation or how
much it would hurt if it ever happened.
“Yes.”
“I don’t understand. I don’t know how you didn’t know you had a
daughter. Your name was on the paperwork. You signed away your rights,
Briggs. I read your letter,” I mumble.
Briggs sucks in a shuddering breath before dropping his head into his
hands, leaning over to place his elbows on his knees.
“I don’t even know what paperwork you’re talking about, Maddison.
I’m just as lost as you are right now. What fucking letter? What the hell is
happening?”
I’ve always been a good judge of character. A trait that has been passed
down from my dad, and the way that Briggs looks right in this moment,
makes me truly think something shitty has happened. That his bastard of an
agent had everything to do with what happened.
“Your agent,” I whisper, my words full of realization.
“Conrad? You met Conrad?”
I nod. “I think… I think he’s what happened.”
 Part of me is angry, that something so fucked up and cruel has
happened, and that I’ve spent the past nine months hating a man who may
not deserve my anger. The other part… well, I feel sad that Briggs has had
to miss my pregnancy and watching his daughter grow in my stomach.
“Please tell me what happened. Start from the beginning and don’t leave
anything out,” he whispers haggardly.
I swallow thickly, trying to push the emotions down that have begun to
clog my throat. A bench in a courtyard outside of a press conference is not
the place to lose it.
“I found out I was pregnant six weeks after I got home. I knew I was,
before I even saw the lines of the test. My period was late, and I was sick. I
couldn’t keep anything down, and my best friend, Ty, forced me to take a
test. I avoided it for as long as I could because I was terrified of what I
would find.” I swallow roughly before continuing, “I knew you lied to me. I
knew who you were from the moment I saw you.”
“You did?”
I nod. “I figured if you wanted me to know about your hockey career,
you would’ve brought it up. I work with a lot of athletes. I’m in school for
journalism, and there are a lot of athletes who prefer to fly under the radar.
Anyway, after taking a home test that read positive, I made an appointment.
I was so nervous, I almost fainted when the doctor told me I was actually
pregnant. There was no doubt... that she was yours. I haven’t been with
anyone else. I knew once it was confirmed that I needed to reach out to you
and tell you, but I didn’t know how. We didn’t exchange any information,
and I know that social media isn’t your thing. Not after… I just, I thought it
was a fling, Briggs. That’s why I asked my grandmother not to give you my
information.” And the fact that I never imagined we’d have anything after
that weekend until I found out I was pregnant.
Briggs nods. His eyes swim with emotion. The same emotion I’m
feeling.
 “So, you don’t have social media, and I didn’t have your email or
contact information. I had no way to reach you aside from showing up at
the stadium, and... I wasn’t doing that. I reached out to Grams, and she gave
me the number she had on file for you, which turned out to be your agent
since he booked your stay. I called him.”
Realization seems to dawn on Briggs’ face at the mention of Conrad.
“That motherfucker.”
I nod. “I didn’t know any other way to reach you. He didn’t take me
seriously at first. Apparently, there are a ton of puck bunnies who have
reached out and claimed to be carrying your children.”
He winces at my words, but I continue anyway.
“Finally, when I threatened to show up at the next place you were,
unless he scheduled a meeting, he finally heard me out. We planned a time
for me to come in, and let’s just say it was nothing like I expected, to say
the least. When I arrived, you weren’t even there. It was just Conrad.”
This time Briggs’ jaw does drop, and he stands from the bench, clearly
upset as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, tugging on the ends then
dragging them down his face. “This is beyond fucked up. I don’t even know
what to say right now.”
“Conrad said he discussed this ‘situation’ in length with you, and that
you decided to sign away all of your rights to the child, pending a paternity
test, of course. He said that he was worried for you public image… after
everything with your brother, and that you weren’t in the headspace to have
this… scandal. He called our child, ‘a scandal,’ and he offered to pay me
off, Briggs. He offered me a check… with more zeros than I’d ever seen in
my life.”
The tears are back, threatening to spill over my lids, even though I
desperately try to swipe them away. This is harder than I thought it would
be.
 As I speak, Briggs paces the small space in front of us, dragging a hand
down his face again as what I’m saying sinks in. It’s obvious he’s been
deceived… we both have.
“They gave me a letter that you wrote, saying that you were sorry, but
you didn’t want anything to do with our child, and that she would have a
life clear of media and publicity with you signing away your rights. As if
that made it any better, our child growing up without a father. The letter
said that you were sorry that our weekend ‘fling’ turned into this, and you
didn’t want to speak to me. What else was I supposed to believe, Briggs?”
“Maddison I-”
I hold my hand up to stop him, so I can finish and get this out and off
my chest. “They showed me the paperwork where you signed away your
rights and said that if I tried to contact you again, after signing this
agreement, they would have no choice than to get an order of protection
against me, like I was a detriment to you. Conrad said you had been through
enough in the past few years, and you were in no shape to care for a child in
any way, other than financially, of course. I read the letter over and over and
stared at the signed custody agreement until I couldn’t see past my tears.
Never in my life had I felt so hurt. So disappointed. It wasn’t even that you
didn’t want anything to do with me, but that you didn’t want our baby. We
made her, together. We made a beautiful baby girl together, and you signed
her away without a second glance. I turned the money down. Every dime of
it. I didn’t want pay-off money, that was never why I tried to contact you. I
wanted you to be present in our daughter’s life. That’s all I ever wanted.
I’ve spent the past nine months hating you, Briggs. Heartbroken over your
decision.”
Briggs roars, kicking over a trash can next to us, chest heaving and
nostrils flaring. “I would never. I would’ve never signed those fucking
papers. All I've ever wanted was a family, my own family. That fucking
piece of shit!”
 I shake my head, feeling the depth of his pain as we’ve both been
robbed of something important.
“God, Maddison, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry I haven’t been
there. If I knew... If I had any idea, I never would’ve missed a second. I’m
so fucking sorry.”
I’m shocked when I see tears welling in his eyes. This man is telling the
truth, I can see the sincerity behind his eyes, I can feel them in his words.
I stand from the bench and walk over to where he’s standing. Just as I’m
about to open my mouth, I feel something warm and wet trickle down the
inside of my inner thigh.
Holy shit, did I just pee myself?
I look down, and there's another gush of liquid, and I realize that this
might be the worst second chance meet-cute of all time because my water
just broke.
“Oh my god,” I whisper. This cannot possibly be happening. Not right
now. Not now.
No. No. No
Briggs looks down and his eyes widen. “Maddison…. What’s
happening?
I look down between my legs again. “Pretty sure my water just broke…
Looks like we’re going to meet our daughter. Uh… Right now.”
 TEN

FOR A SECOND, I’m frozen. I can’t move. Literally, it’s like I’ve fucking
forgotten how to function like a normal human.
What in the fuck? I whisper to myself, trying to make some sort of sense
with the information that Maddison’s just told me, but it’s not computing.
"Oh, God,” Maddison cries, painfully, causing me to shake the cloud of
shock from my mind, and focus on her hunched over in front of me. She’s
obviously in pain, and it makes the situation that much more real.
Oh fuck.
Fuck.
This is really happening. Right the fuck now.
I literally just found out I’m about to be a father, five seconds ago, and
now we’re going to the hospital.
I can’t hardly process the fact since Maddison continues to be hunched
over in pain.
Fuck.
I rush forward and place my hand on her back, steadying her. Her small
hand grips my biceps, so tightly, I’ll probably have killer marks, but it’s not
what I’m focused on; it’s the look of agony on her face is.
“Are you okay? What do I do? Should I call an ambulance?”
 She gazes up at me before her face contorts into pain once more,
leaving me feeling helpless. I don’t have a clue of what to do in this
situation. Hell, the only pregnant women I’ve seen are on tv shows.
Letting out a gasp, she clutches her stomach again. “I need to sit down
and time the contractions, b-b-uut they’re coming fast.” Sucking in air, she
inhales and exhales while I fish my phone from the pocket of my slacks and
turn on the timer app then I help her to the park bench.
Her fingers are still gripping my arm with ferocity as she practices
breathing, and it’s obvious she’s much more prepared for this than I am, and
rightly so, since I just fucking found out I’m about to welcome my daughter
into the world. Another contraction hits her and her grip tightens, digging
into my arm as she clutches her stomach and squeezes her eyes shut. Her
beautiful face is contorted in pain, and each time, it seems like another nail
in my heart with a rusty fucking hammer.
Jesus.
“How l-long was that one?”
I glance down at my phone. “Six minutes and thirty-three seconds.”
“Shit,” she whispers, “I thought that the pain I was feeling was just
Braxton hicks, but this is the real deal. We have to get to the hospital like…
now.”
“I’ll get my truck. Stay here.”
She laughs through clenched teeth. “As if I can go anywhere, Briggs…”
Fuck, I’m an idiot. Hesitantly, I leave her on the park bench and run,
full-stop to my truck. Hopping inside, I start it and race over to where I left
her sitting. Once I park, I hop out with the keys still in the ignition then run
over to the bench and help her up.
“Okay, this hurts. Like… REALLY hurts,” she says.
“Let’s get you to the hospital and they can give you the good stuff. They
do that, I think, right?”
 I swallow thickly. I’m so out of my damn element. Pregnancy? Birth?
Fuck, my stomach plummets thinking of the logistics. I’m not actually
ignorant, I know what happens in childbirth, but right now, I think the best
thing to do is to not actually imagine childbirth.
“I'm going the natural route. No medication.”
My eyes widen as I help her into my truck. She drops her head back
against the leather and starts her deep, settled breathing again and I waste
no time shutting the door then sliding back into the driver seat.
I keep my arm on the console, just in case she needs it, and pull the
truck onto the freeway. Every few seconds, I glance over at her to make
sure she’s okay, and she groans out loud.
“I think I accidentally may have ruined your leather seats.”
I laugh, hoarse and full of worry. “Fuck, Maddison, I don’t give a shit
about the damn seat. I’ll replace the whole truck if I have to.”
Her gaze snaps to mine, a reminder that she doesn’t know the real me,
the man hidden behind the hockey helmet and roar of a crowd, or the
headline of a blog.
“Yeah,” she whispers, then grabs onto the door and my arm as another
contraction hits her. “Can you possibly drive any slower?”
My eyes snap to the odometer and see that I’m driving slower than my
grandma, but hell, I’ve got the mother of my child in my front seat. If there
was ever precious cargo, it’s them.
“Briggs, I’m going to have the baby on the floorboard of your truck if
you don’t. Fucking. Drive,” she screeches. This time her voice is garbled
with pain and it has me slamming my foot down on the accelerator.
I’m prepared for a lot of shit. My mother letting herself in my house
unannounced, Coach banishing me because I’ve got a behavior issue, my
friends fucking with me because it’s their life goal to make me crazy, but
this? A baby being born in my front seat?
 Nope. Not prepared at all. My foot inches down on the accelerator even
harder as I press the caution button to let the cops know to please not pull
me the fuck over, or we’re both going to have our hands full.
"Breathe, Maddison,” I croak, as her short fingernails cut into my arm,
ready to break the skin. “We’re almost there.”
With her eyes squeezed tightly shut, she nods, breathing in deeply then
back out again, never letting up on her hold.
Somehow, I get us to the hospital in one piece, without Maddison
actually giving birth in the front seat, and thank fuck I had the sense to call
ahead because a nurse with a wheelchair meets us at the front door of the
ER.
Maddison’s whisked away, leaving me with a nurse wearing a pair of
dark pink scrubs.
“Where do I go?”
She looks at me with a smile. “Well, Dad, looks like you’re going to
meet your little one. Time to let Mom get settled in her room. Follow me.”

I used to think I wasn’t a squeamish guy. I mean, playing hockey I’ve seen
injuries that would make even the strongest stomachs turn. Bones
splintering through legs, missing teeth, cuts so deep you can see the tendons
and muscles underneath.
But nothing, and I mean fucking nothing, compares to what’s happening
right now.
"Oh god,” Maddison cries, squeezing my arm so tightly, I lost all feeling
in it so long ago that I’m worried I might never actually be able to hold a
hockey stick again.
If you would’ve told me twenty-four hours ago that I would be in a
hospital room, watching the mother of my child giving birth to our
daughter, I would have laughed in your face.
Really, I would’ve said you were insane and walked away.
Honestly, I can’t even believe it myself. I don’t think it’s fully sunk in
yet. I glance down at the white of Maddison’s knuckles as she clutches my
arm in a death grip. Her beautiful face is covered in a fresh sheen of sweat
and her makeup is smeared, as she gets ready for another contraction.
I’ve learned a lot in the past three hours. For one, I am so fucking glad I
play hockey and didn’t decide to become a doctor or something, because
I’m feeling a bit queasy.
Every time she pushes and lets out a strangled cry, the knot in my
stomach tightens even further. I am not cut out for this, not by a long shot.
And when the doctor asks if she wants mirrors so we can watch as she gives
birth?
I almost pass out on the floor, adamantly shaking my head, even though
it’s her call and I’ll support whatever she chooses.
I’m safely staying up here. With my eyes closed. At all costs.
How is this even my life right now?
It seems unbelievable, but I know better. I remember that weekend more
vividly than anything else. It was the best weekend of my life, and even
after she left, I looked everywhere for her. I was fucking devastated, and
that’s saying a lot for a guy who’s only ever had one relationship in his life.
Look how that ended, though. I thought I had fucked it up, somehow, as
usual but what really happened was even worse. I can't believe that Conrad
had a hand at something so fucked up.
Maddison lets out what can only be compared to a Viking warrior’s
battle cry and pushes so hard her face turns beet red as she bellows.
“You’re doing amazing, Maddison, you’re almost there!” Her doctor,
Dr. Brown, says with a smile. Completely unfazed. “Oh, I see hair!”
Then, he lifts a bloody glove and the floor begins to sway beneath my
feet.
 Fuck, fuck, fuck.
My stomach knots, impossibly tight, and the urge to vomit suddenly hits
me full force.
“Mr. Wilson? Are you okay?” the nurse asks quietly, and I’m afraid if I
answer her, I’m going to throw up in the middle of the birth of my kid.
My kid.
“Yep,” I squeak, averting my gaze completely. I squeeze my eyes shut
and take a deep breath, trying to get my nausea under control.
Fuck, who knew that watching a live birth would be the one thing that
my stomach can’t handle? I’m glad the guys aren’t here or I’d never live
this down.
“Briggs, if you leave me right now, I swear to god, the second I can
walk again, I will end you,” Maddison spits through clenched teeth.
“I’m not, I’m not,” I reassure her. Or maybe it’s myself that I’m trying
to reassure because right now, I don’t feel very fucking confident that I’ll
make it through this whole ordeal.
Another contraction hits, and Maddison grits her teeth, pulling on my
hand, and gripping the hospital bed with her free hand.
“Alright Maddison, I think this will be the last push. I need you to take a
deep breath in and push as hard as you possibly can.”
Maddison nods, a fresh set of tears falling down her cheeks. I quickly
swipe them away, not worried about her punching me since she’s currently
indisposed.
I’m still in utter shock that I even ran into her and that all of this is
unfolding before my eyes, after how long I searched for her. All by
happenstance, a stroke of luck, and fuck knows I don’t have much of that. It
seems like… fate. I can’t believe how incredible she is. I’m in awe of her
strength, fuck, I can’t believe she did all of this alone for nine months.
I can’t hardly wrap my head around all of it. Everything’s happening so
quickly, but what I do know is that I want Maddison more than ever, I want
our daughter, I want this and everything that comes with it.
I don’t even know what this is, but I want it. Whatever it is if it gives
me them.
“That’s it!” the doctor exclaims, “she’s here!” I glance down and see
him lifting up a tiny, gunky baby in his arms, a long cord still attached to
her belly button, connecting her to Maddison. She’s covered in a sheen of
white… stuff, and blood, but even from where I’m standing, I can see the
light dusk of her blonde hair.
Nothing prepared me for this moment.
Nothing.
I feel tears well in my eyes before I can even get a full grasp on what’s
happening, the fact that this is my… daughter. I look down at Maddison,
who’s sobbing as the doctor brings the baby to her chest and places her
directly on her. Skin to skin, she sobs as she holds our precious baby girl.
My chest swells with pride and an overwhelming sense of… adoration.
The need to protect them both.
“Congratulations, she is beautiful. Dad… would you like to do the
honor of cutting the umbilical cord?”
I swallow thickly, suddenly aware that I’m nodding. He hands me a pair
of shiny scissors that are bigger than my hand with huge, thick, “o” curved
blades, where the normal blades would be.
The second the cold steel hits my hand and the doctor holds up the
bloody, blueish purple umbilical cord, the floor gives way and everything
goes black.
 ELEVEN

“MR. WILSON? Can you hear me? Mr. Wilson?”

The voice sounds far away, yet so close at the same time.
I try and crack my eyes open, but they feel so heavy. Really, everything
feels burdensome. Somehow, I manage to open one of my eyes, and
immediately close it when a blinding fluorescent light is the first thing I see.
“Hi, Mr. Wilson, my name is Sarah. Can you hear me?”
I open my eyes again and realize there’s an older woman with curly
gray hair leaning over me, blocking the bright florescent light. She’s
holding a small vial in her hands, and then realization hits me like a Mack
truck.
Shit! I passed out when I went to cut the cord. I sit upright abruptly then
try and open my eyes, watching as the room around me spins in a 360
motion.
“Hey, take it easy. You passed out and your body needs a moment to
adjust.”
“Where is Maddison? My daughter…” I trail off, rubbing circles on my
temple, trying to find my bearings and get up.
Fuck, I feel like the biggest pussy on the planet.
“Well, if you must know, lots of men are unequipped for birth, which
makes the most sense since their strong and resilient wives are the ones who
actually give birth.”
I look up at her and she presses her lips in a thin, unamused line.
“I didn’t realize I said that out loud, sorry. My head’s still fucked up,
sorry, I mean messed up.”
She nods. “Here, let me help you up. I think there’s someone you need
to meet.”
With Sarah’s help, I manage to get off the cold linoleum of the hospital
floor and stand upright, swaying momentarily.
“Sorry about that. I’m apparently not good with blood and…”
“Amniotic fluid,” she says simply.
I shudder as the image flashes in my brain. “Yep, that. Can I see them?”
She nods. “Follow me.”
Leading me out of the empty hospital room, we walk down a quiet
hallway to the very end, where the last door to the right is open.
“I think she’s sleeping, but here you are.” Sarah gestures into the room,
and I walk inside.
The first thing I see is the tiny little angel bundled in a light pink blanket
that Maddison has in the crook of her arm. Her eyes lift to meet mine, and
the air around us stills.
She’s holding my daughter.
The pink blanket bundled around her matches the light pink bow that is
on the white hat on her head.
“Briggs,” Maddison says quietly. She looks utterly exhausted. There are
dark bags under her tired eyes, but she still gives me a small smile.
“Wow,” I say dumbly. Words escape me. I don’t even know what to say
right now.
She laughs quietly, glancing down at our daughter. “She’s amazing, isn’t
she?”
Somehow my feet carry me closer, and when I’m standing right next to
the bed, I can finally see her up close. She’s so tiny, with rosy, red cheeks,
and her little lips are making sucking motions as she sleeps soundly in
Maddison’s arms.
“She’s an angel.”
Maddison nods. “She is. I… I want to name her Olive.”
“Olive,” I test the name out on my tongue, and immediately decide that
I love it. She looks just like an Olive.
“Olive Elizabeth,” Maddison adds. Her eyes are glued to Olive, and
mine are too. I want to just watch her sleep. “Do you want to hold her?”
“I do,” I say hoarsely, my throat clogged with emotion.
A tidal wave that has me drowning.
Maddison lifts her and slides Olive into my arms.
“Am I doing it right?”
She nods. “Yes, just support her head. Just like that.”
Barely seven pounds and she’s the most important thing I’ve ever held. I
know at this moment there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She could ask
me for the moon and somehow, I’d find a way to get it for her. Her nose
looks just like mine, except hers is so fucking cute it brings tears to my
eyes. Round, and like the tiniest little button. Her lashes long and dark,
much like Maddison’s, fan out on her rosy, pink cheeks. She looks like a
literal baby doll as she sleeps soundly in my arms.
As I watch her, the heart shape of her mouth puckers while her eyelids
flutter. I wish I knew what was happening behind those tiny little lids. What
she was dreaming.
I just know that no matter what it takes, I’ll make all of her dreams
come true.
“I can’t believe I’m holding my daughter…” I trail off, my eyes rising
to meet Maddison’s that are filled with unshed tears.
This moment is so powerful that my chest is tight with so many
different emotions. Happiness. Pride. Remorse that I wasn’t there until now.
 “I’m glad that you are. I... I don’t know what will happen from here, but
I am glad that Olive has the opportunity to have her dad in her life.”
The words settle inside me. My mind flits to Conrad, and the shitstorm
that will come after this, but I refuse to let him take this moment from me.
Or anyone.
“She’s so tiny, I can’t believe she’s so small,” I whisper. She stirs
slightly in my arms, her little eyes fluttering open. “Hi, my little angel. I’m
your daddy.”
Maddison clears her throat, and when I look up, I can see those unshed
tears now wetting her cheeks. Shit, I’m probably already fucking this up.
“She’s probably getting hungry. See the way she’s suckling at her fist?”
I nod, watching the motion in amazement. I carefully lift Olive back
into her mother’s arms.
“I’m going to go in the hall and make a call while you... uh, feed her?”
“Thank you. You’re welcome here as long as you want to be, Briggs.
My grams will be by shortly and so will my best friends, Ty and Kyle.”
“That sounds great. Would it be okay if the guys from the team come to
see her? I don’t really speak to my family so...”
Maddison looks panicked for a moment, or maybe it’s just my eyes
seeing things that aren’t there, but she nods. “Of course.”
I leave her and Olive in the room and step out into the hallway. I keep
walking, until I see the double doors to the courtyard, and push them open.
Once I’m outside and have privacy, I pull my phone out of my pocket.
The first call I make isn’t to the guys, but to the person who almost
robbed me of my future.
Conrad answers after a few rings. “What’s up, man?”
“Need to talk. You free?”
There’s shuffling in the background, a mixture of voices then he speaks,
“Sure, everything good? I have a meeting in about ten minutes.”
“Cancel it.”
 My voice sounds foreign even to me, low and full of raw rage.
“What’s wrong?”
“You know, Conrad, you’ve been my agent since before the draft. I’ve
put my entire career in your hands, fuck, my entire life in your hands. I’ve
never questioned you. Not once. Not about what’s best for me, not
anything.”
“Briggs, what is going on? You and I, we’-”
“Shut the fuck up, Conrad,” I spit.
The other end of the phone goes so silent I’d worry he hung up if I
didn’t see the call still connected.
“You tried to pay off the mother of my fucking child. You forged my
fucking signature on documents that I would never in this goddamn lifetime
sign.”
I’m so consumed by rage; I can hardly see past the black dots dancing
in my vision. I’ve never in my life been so goddamn angry. So fucking
disgusted.
Not even walking in on my brother having sex with my fiancée in our
bed.
That doesn’t even touch the rage that I’m feeling right now.
“Wait, listen to me, okay, just-”
“I told you to shut the fuck up. There is nothing that you could say right
now that will make this better. You knew how Beau betrayed me, and what
you did? Unfuckingforgiveable. Effective immediately, you are no longer
my agent. You do not represent me. You do not speak for me. If I hear my
fucking name muttered from your piece of shit lips, I will end you. Do you
understand?”
“Briggs, you can’t possibly drop me. We have a contract, that is not how
this works. I was simply working in your best interest! T-the paperwork
isn’t even v-valid for fucks sake,” he stutters, trying to cover his ass and
doing nothing but digging himself an even deeper hole.
 “Contract? You wanna talk about a fucking contract, Conrad? I will ruin
you. Every fucking player in the NHL will know how fucking dirty you are.
Keep trying me and you’ll lose every goddamn client you have. And if I
hear you’ve breathed a word of my daughter being born to anyone, I will
have you on blast all over ESPN within the hour. Not to mention, forging
my goddamn signature is illegal as hell, and if you want to go there, I’ll sue
you for everything you’re worth. Do not fuck with me. If you ever contact
me, my family, or anyone on my team again, you can reap the
consequences. I have nothing left to say to you.”
He sighs heavily, realizing the battle is already lost. “I thought I was
doing the right thing.”
“Well, you were so far left it’s unfucking real. I’m done. Don’t contact
me again.”
I end the call before the asshole can breathe another word. There’s
nothing else to say. He’s lucky that I don’t show up to his office and beat
the shit out of him for what he's done.
I make a vow to myself, and to Olive, that no matter what happens, I
will protect her. Love her. Put her first in my life, and the first step in doing
that is getting rid of someone that I can’t trust.
Fuck, I thought of Conrad like family, and here I am, yet again, being
betrayed by my family.
Just like Beau.
It seems to be the recurring thing in my life: my family fucking me over
any chance they get.
Good fucking riddance.

I can imagine the very last thing that Reed, Graham, Hudson or Asher
thought when I texted them to come to the hospital as soon as possible, that
they’d be coming to meet my brand-new daughter, who’s less than twenty-
four hours old.
Hell, I can’t even believe it.
Actually, I’d bet my entire damn salary that they thought I’d done
something to fuck up again, and I don’t blame them. I’ve put them through
more shit than they deserve the last couple of years, which is why I’m so
excited to have something… good. For a change.
I’m texting because of something amazing, not because I got drunk and
fought a guy at a bar, or because I was point three under the legal limit on a
breathalyzer and behind the wheel of my truck, needing a ride. Of all the
shit I fucked up, I’m thankful to be on the other side. To have pulled my
head out my ass and realize that life is worth living, even after having your
beating heart ripped from your chest.
“The guys and I are going to go to the nursery and see her, if that’s
okay?” I ask Maddison, who’s resting. Both her grams and Ty and Kyle
visited just now, and she looks even more exhausted than earlier. I’m
honestly in awe of her strength.
When you think of strength, most of the time you think of brute force.
But today? What I witnessed Maddison do, now, that’s strength. The kind
I’ll never possess, no matter how much I can bench, or how hard I can
check someone on the ice. She’s fucking incredible.
“Get some rest and send me a text if you need anything. I’ll be back in a
bit, okay?”
She nods, her eyes already drifting shut. I want to reach out and sweep
the hair that’s falling on her forehead away, and drop my lips against the
soft, blonde of her hair, but I won’t.
No matter how badly I want to.
I walk out into the hallway and shut the door behind me quietly, then
make my way out to the waiting room, when I see the guys stroll through
the doors.
 “Wait, maternity ward?” Graham whisper yells, not fucking quietly
whatsoever. “Why are we here? Am I being punked?”
“Shut up Graham,” Reed mutters.
When I finally come to a stop in front of them, all eyes are on me, full
of questions.
“Thanks for coming guys. Uh, so I’m a dad. I have a daughter, and her
name is Olive.”
Asher’s jaw literally drops. Graham looks like he might actually fall on
the floor. Hudson’s eyes widen, and Reed looks absolutely shocked.
Then Graham laughs. He laughs so fucking loud that every head in the
hospital wing turns toward him. It’s so hard that he’s doubling and then
Asher and Hudson look at each other, and they start laughing too. Like
dominoes, all falling together in a line. Reed shakes his head, in annoyance,
and then he lets out a laugh of his own.
This goes on for at least a minute before Reed looks at me with wide
eyes.
“Wait, you’re serious?”
Everyone stops laughing.
“Yep, my daughter was just born.”
Silence settles between us then Asher speaks, “Yeah, this is the last
thing I expected. Thought you were joking.”
“Same,” Graham quips. “How? I mean like... obviously, I know how,
but who? When? Where? You can’t just bring us here and then drop this
fucking bomb on us.”
He’s talking so fast his words are running together.
“Let’s go out to the courtyard.”
I lead them out the double doors to the small outdoor courtyard that I
called Conrad in earlier and they sit on the small concrete benches with
their hulking frames. I start at the only place I can.
The beginning.
 By the time I’m done, the shocked looks on their faces have only
intensified, but fuck, it feels good to get it all out and off my chest to the
only people in the world I actually trust.
The only ones who have shown themselves worthy of my trust.
I told them about the weekend Maddison and I spent together, and what
happened with Conrad, and how he almost destroyed my life while using
the facade of having my “best interests in mind.”
“That motherfucker,” Reed curses.
I nod. “He’s done. All I want to do is focus on Olive. My daughter. It’s
almost like… even after all the shit I’ve done, all the fucking up and hurting
the people I love, I’m still getting a chance. A chance to be something
amazing to this little girl.”
Graham nods. “I never really thought about being an uncle. Kids aren’t
really my thing, but I think it could be cool. Can I see her?”
“Yeah,” Asher adds, and then Hudson too.
I laugh. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Together, we walk down to the nursery and stand in front of the glass
wall where all of the babies are. I find her tiny, wrapped body in the
bassinet on the far right.
“That’s her. That’s Olive Elizabeth,” I say proudly. My baby girl.
“Oh my god, she’s so fucking cute,” Graham squeals, pressing his hand
over his chest. “She’s after my own heart.”
“God, you're a girl. But… wait until you hold her for the first time. She
has this… baby smell that’s the best smell in the entire world. I can’t even
describe it,” I tell them.
Reed nods. “Being a dad is the best thing I’ve ever done. I know you’ll
be amazing at it.” He claps me on the back, then slides his arm around my
shoulders and pulls me to him. I guess Reed’s situation is like mine, in the
sense of we’re both new fathers and we didn’t see it coming. Last year, his
estranged sister and her husband passed away and left behind their son,
Evan. Reed was the only living relative he had, and now… he’s his dad.
And man, he’s amazing at it. He’s the one I’d go to for advice, hands down.
“Somebody has to call Liam. He’s gonna shit,” Asher says.
“Oh yeah, can you imagine?” Hudson agrees.
My eyes are still glued to Olive, but I nod. “Yeah, maybe once we get
home and get settled. Maddison’s exhausted.”
“We’ll let you get back to your girl, I mean… you know, your baby
mama.” Graham smirks. “Keep us updated in the group chat, yeah?”
I nod. “Thanks guys. It means... It means a lot to me for you to be here.
For standing by me these past couple of years, no matter what. I’ll never be
able to repay you for it.”
“It’s what friends are for, Briggs,” Reed says.
“Yeah, no more sappy shit before I start crying. We love you, man.”
Asher pulls me in for a quick hug and handshake.
“I need to start brainstorming about what I’m going to get her,” Graham
adds in as they begin to walk away and I shake my head.
I’m glad he’s excited, but also nervous for what the future will hold for
me, Olive and Maddison.
 TWELVE

THERE HAVE BEEN VERY few times in my life that I’ve felt pure,
untouched happiness. The kind of feeling that you can recall at any given
time, one that sends a shot of serotonin straight from your brain to your
heart, at just the thought of that moment.
Like the first time I ever stepped onto the ice as an Avalanche. Or my
first day as a coach for the Mighty Pucks and even the first game we won
by a landslide. Or even holding the Stanley Cup in my hands after the most
brutal and rewarding season I’d ever played.
But nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, holds a candle to what I’m
feeling right now with this small, fragile bundle wrapped in pink that’s
snuggled in my arms.
I’m a father.
I have a daughter, and God, she’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever laid
eyes on. And for the past forty-eight hours, I haven’t been able to take my
eyes off of her at all. Worried that if I close my eyes, even if only for a
moment, she’ll disappear from view as quickly as she came. Maybe that’s a
tad neurotic, and if you would’ve told me this time last week that I’d be
holding a baby, let alone my own, I would’ve told you that you were
fucking insane. But now that I’m here, holding her in my arms, I get what
everyone says about “new parents.” I never want to set her down, and I
never want to forget what this moment feels like. Her tiny hand is wrapped
around my finger as she sleeps, her eyelids fluttering with whatever she's
dreaming of, while I memorize everything about her.
Her chest rises and falls steadily as she sleeps, and I count the breaths,
over and over. Proof that she’s here, and she’s mine. That if I blink, she
won’t actually disappear into thin air.
I don’t even want to think about what will happen when we walk out of
these doors because it fucking terrifies me. What will it mean for us when
we leave the safe, untouched bubble we’ve been in since her birth?
Will Maddison allow me to be present in their lives? Will these be the
last moments I get with Olive before everything goes to shit? The thought
alone causes my chest to seize in panic. I never really believed in love at
first sight, not until her anyway. The moment that my eyes landed on her,
still fresh from her mother’s stomach, I felt something unfamiliar in my
chest. Something that, until this moment, I had never felt before. A mixture
of pride and overwhelming love, knowing I created this tiny baby with
strong lungs, and the cutest dimpled cheeks I’ve ever seen.
I don’t need a paternity test to know that she’s mine. She has my nose
and my chin, and you know, more of me than she does Maddison, which is
unlucky for Olive, since her mother’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever
met. My eyes scan her face again for the millionth time, memorizing the
slope of her nose, the long, dark lashes that fan out on her cheeks. Her lips
pucker in her sleep, and I grin, so unbelievably proud.
I can’t believe I created something so perfect. I can’t believe I’m a dad.
I can’t believe I love her so much already, and she’s only been here two
days.
“Briggs?”
Looking up, Maddison’s eyes meet mine. A small smile sits on her lips,
one that’s just for me, almost like a secret that we share that no one else is
privy to.
 “Yeah?” I whisper, careful not to stir my little girl from her peaceful
sleep. Who knows how long that will last. She’s woken up every hour on
the hour to feed from her mama, and if I can hold her even a second longer,
I will.
“We’re going to be discharged soon. To go home.”
I chew the inside of my cheek until it’s nearly raw. I don’t want to leave
her. Not now, fuck, not ever. Swallowing thickly, I reply, “I know. I wish we
didn’t have to.”
Her eyes soften, and I drag my gaze back to Olive.
“I think we have some really important things to discuss, decisions that
need to be made and the hospital isn’t a place to do it.” She pauses, clearing
her throat from the exhaustion that’s made her voice raspy. “If you want to
come home with us today, that would be okay with me. I mean, only if you
want to.”
She looks as petrified as I feel, and I understand. Both of our lives have
been turned upside down in the past forty-eight hours, and it seems unreal
to think that the decisions we make in the next few days will change our
lives even more, forever. I just hope that she allows me to be a part of
Olive’s life. Their lives.
I nod. “I’d love that. I really don’t want to leave her.”
Her lips stretch into a smile that can only be described as adoration.
“She is absolutely perfect.”
“I love her so much already, Maddison. I’m terrified to pull my eyes off
of her for even a second.”
“Me too. I’m paranoid that if I look away, she’ll stop breathing. She’s so
tiny. Breakable.”
As if she hears us talking about her, Olive begins to stir in my arms, her
eyes beginning to crack open. She gazes up at me with dark green eyes that
she definitely must have gotten from her mother.
 Then she begins to cry, and I know it’s time for a feeding. Every hour,
it’s like clockwork. I rise from the chair and walk over to Maddison, gently
setting her in her arms, and then I look away as she begins to unfasten her
top to feed Olive.
She never asks me to, but I give her privacy during those times she
feeds Olive. The primal part of me wants to watch her feed our daughter,
and then I realize that it would probably make her feel uncomfortable,
seeing as how nothing has been discussed.
Instead, I give her a grin before exiting the room to text the guys. My
phone’s been blowing up from our group chat and as I scroll through the
messages, I can’t help but laugh.
Graham and Hudson are currently arguing over who’s going to be the
best uncle, and if I had to guess, Reed and Asher are going to join in any
second.
Graham: Hell no, I’m going to buy her so much cool shit she’s going
to love me the most.
Hudson: Eyeroll emoji – Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you can’t
buy somebody’s love, rookie? This kid is going to love me the most
because I’m going to take her to every hockey game imaginable and
I’m going to get her on the ice the second she learns how to walk.
Reed: Both of you sound like idiots, you can’t buy a kid’s love and
her dad’s a hockey player, you think taking her to a game is gonna win
her over? Nah, I’ve got a kid, I know exactly what to do. I’ll just let you
two run around in circles while I take the win.
I keep scrolling, laughing at these idiots that I call friends, until I’m
mostly caught up on everything I’ve missed. Graham sends a photo of a
custom jersey with his name and number on the back.
Idiots. But hell, they’re my best friends, and no matter what, they’ve
been by my side and shown their loyalty. Even at my lowest, they’ve picked
me up and carried me when it’s been too heavy to do on my own. I owe
them everything.
Me: Look how cute she is when she sleeps.
I type quickly, adding a photo of Olive that I snapped while she was
asleep, a smile on her tiny little lips. I’m proud as fuck and I don’t even care
that I’m going to be blowing up everyone’s phones with Olive’s pics.
They immediately respond to the photo.
Graham: Fuck, why are babies so cute when they do simple shit?
Like eat. Or sleep. Why am I having baby fever right now? Someone
tell my dick to fuck off.
Reed: Dude, erase that shit from your brain right now. Babies poop,
a LOT. And you might as well kiss sleep goodbye. But... B, she’s
fucking perfect and I can’t wait to hold her. Holland says to tell you
that she is snuggling her for an hour straight and she will physically
fight anyone who stands in her way. She beat me arm wrestling last
night and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was naked. Don’t
let her small size fool you, she’s a savage.
I laugh out loud at that.
Man, my best friend is whipped. He’s now married to Holland, who just
so happens to be his younger sister’s best friend. They had a rocky start at
first, after trying to hide their relationship, but ultimately, it came out and
everyone was happy for them; they just had to work through their own shit.
Now, Holland’s a part of the family. And trust me when I say, I know she’ll
bust my balls, and I am quite fond of them so...
Me: I learned that lesson the hard way, don’t fuck with the fun-
sized blonde.
Reed: Damn right. That’s my girl.
Hudson: I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I think I just shed a
tear. Happy for you, man. Gotta set an example for her now.
 Graham: I just bought her, her first hockey stick, and the smallest
pair of Bauer skates they make.
Asher: Rookie, she’s like two days old.
Graham: shrugging emoji- I told you I’m going to be the favorite
uncle.
The entire text exchange has me laughing like a fool, and it helps to take
my mind off the nervousness in the pit of my stomach that shit might not go
at all like I hope. Not to mention the shitstorm that’s coming when I leave
here and have to face my parents.
Thinking of Conrad, betrayal slashes my insides, leaving them tattered.
Fuck, it feels like every time I turn, someone I trust is betraying me. I’m
done letting him ruin this moment. He’s ruined enough and I’m done giving
him time he doesn’t fucking deserve. Not anymore.
This time is reserved for Maddison and Olive. I won’t let anyone,
especially not that asshole, rob me of this time that I’ll never get back.
My main concern is protecting her and Maddison. From the media, from
the public eye that comes with being a professional hockey player, from
assholes like Conrad.
Me: Gotta go back in and see my girl. I’ll text soon with details so
her favorite UNCLES can see her again.
I shove my phone back in my pocket and knock lightly on the door to
Maddison’s room. When I hear her tell me to come in, I push the door open
and walk into the spacious room. Olive is still nestled in her arm, sleeping
like an angel.
I’m not sure how it’s possible that every time I look at her, I fall even
more in love, yet here I am, emotion clogging my throat as my chest swells
with pride.
My daughter.
Maddison looks up at me and smiles, gently rubbing her thumb along
her cheek as we watch her sleep.
 “I know that this… this isn’t what you expected, and you had to miss so
much of my pregnancy, but I’m glad you’re here, Briggs.”
It hits me in the gut. Her words, as much as I wanted to hear them, I'm
worried are a goodbye.
“Thank you for letting me be here, Maddison, after everything…” I trail
off, and she nods.
As I watch my daughter sleep, all I can do is pray that I get the chance
to be there for all of the important moments of her life.

Maddison lives less than fifteen minutes from Northwestern Memorial. The
entire drive to her apartment, I looked back at Olive, no less than fifty
times. Having a kid unlocks new fears inside of you, ones you never even
knew were possible until suddenly there’s a tiny, fragile newborn whose life
is quite literally in your hands.
“Briggs, she’s fine,” Maddison says, giggling as she rolls her eyes.
“She’s snoring. You can drive faster.”
I nod. She’s right. Okay, she’s fine back there. I increase my speed to
forty, and Maddison just laughs. This might be the scariest fucking car ride
of my entire life, and although I drive a truck with snow tires, it’s not
covered in armored steel, therefore I’m going to worry. Who cares if it’s
just back roads?
Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, I pull into the parking lot of her
apartment. I hop out and rush around to Maddison’s door, opening it then
holding out my hand to help her out.
When her hand slides in mine, soft and delicate, I hold back a shudder.
My thoughts immediately flash back to the night we met, the night that
changed everything. The way our bodies moved together, slick with sweat,
and how she writhed beneath me.
 She gets out of the truck slowly, before turning back to me. “Can you
grab Olive for me? I’m not supposed to pick up anything heavy just yet.
Her seat...”
“Of course. Anything you need.”
I unhook Olive’s infant carrier from the base, and then sling her bag
over my shoulder to make sure the blanket isn’t covering her face. When
she was asleep earlier, I went on Amazon and scrolled through at least
twenty pages of baby books, then ordered the top ten.
I don’t know shit about babies, but I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure
I’m the best father I can be to my daughter. Including spending all of my
free time reading every baby book I can get my hands on. Maddison pulls
her house keys from her bag then turns toward the apartment. Olive and I
trail behind her, and while we do, I checkout the neighborhood.
It’s not in the best part of town, which worries me, so I make a mental
note to talk with her about it later.
"It’s not much, but it’s mine,” she says as she swings the door open and
leads me inside. Fuck, it is tiny.
That makes me sound like an asshole, so I keep my thoughts to myself,
but how in the hell are they going to live in this place? I set the diaper bag
down on the coffee table and gently place the baby carrier on the ground,
my eyes still scanning the small space.
Where is she going to keep all the shit for a baby?
“Want a tour? There’s not much to see,” she says shyly.
I nod. "Of course.”
My eyes dart back to the front door, realizing there is only one deadbolt,
and a rush of protectiveness surges deep in my chest. I’m headed right to
the fucking hardware store to add three more locks to the door.
With Olive sleeping quietly in her carrier, I follow behind Maddison,
trying my best to keep my eyes off her ass and on the space she’s showing
me, although there isn’t much for me to see. She takes me into the bedroom,
which is filled to the brim with both her and Olive’s stuff.
There’s a suspicious looking black fungus growing out of the air vent on
the ceiling, the wallpaper is peeling and faded from years of wear and tear,
and the door creaks so loudly on the hinges, there’s no way it didn’t wake
Olive up. She doesn’t even have a bassinet or a crib.
Reading my thoughts, she says, “She’s going to sleep with me in a co-
sleeping bassinet. I have it put up in the closet.” She nods toward the door
next to a pile of diaper boxes. “There’s not really enough room for a crib, so
this will do for now.”
She’s right when she said it isn’t much, but it’s obvious that she keeps
things spotless and organized. It still doesn’t make me feel any better about
her or my daughter sleeping here, especially with that half-ass lock on the
door. I look back at Maddison, watching as she fidgets nervously with her
hands, and then her gaze drags up to meet mine.
“If you want to take a shower, or relax, I’m more than happy to stay and
hold Olive. I’d actually really like to, if that’s okay with you.”
She nods as soon as the words leave my mouth. While our situation isn’t
normal by any means, I think we’re both finding solace together for the
simple fact that we’re not navigating uncharted waters alone.
“That would be amazing. I think I’m uh...” She looks down at her top
where there are two wet spots forming on the outside of her sweatshirt. A
blush travels up her neck to the tips of her cheeks as she stutters, “Oh G-
god-d, this is so embarrassing.” She drops her head into her hands, and I
immediately walk over, removing them from her face.
“Hey, you don’t have to be embarrassed around me, Maddison. You
gave me the greatest gift I could’ve ever fucking imagined. Your body did
remarkable things.” Without thinking, I reach up and brush a piece of hair
that’s fallen free from the messy bun at her nape. “Go shower and relax, she
and I will be just fine. If you need anything, let me know.”
 I toss a grin over my shoulder and walk back to the small living room
and begin unbuckling Olive from her seat. She stretches her little arms and
legs out before curling back into the tiniest of balls in my arm. Using one
hand, I lay her blanket out onto the couch, and try like hell to remember
how the nurse taught us to swaddle or whatever the hell it’s called.
She seems to like the blanket tightly around her, so I gently place her on
the blanket and wrap her up in it exactly the way the nurse instructed. It’s
loose in a few places, but fuck it, until yesterday, I didn’t even know what
the hell a swaddle was. I’ll get better in time. I sink into the couch with her
swaddled in my arms and take in the living room and tiny kitchen.
Once Maddison and I talk about what will happen with the three of us,
the first thing I want to do is get them out of here.
 THIRTEEN

THE SCALDING hot water from the showerhead pelts down on my skin,
and it feels sinful, so much that my entire body feels relaxed and pliant. I
needed this shower and a second to breathe more than I realized, even
though I’m anxious to be away from Olive for even a second.
After the initial visit from Grams, Ty and Kyle, I briefly explained what
was happening and asked for space. As baffled as they were that I was
allowing Briggs to be here, to be around Olive, they still respected my
wishes. I haven’t explained exactly what happened yet because the past two
days have been a whirlwind. I’m not even sure, myself, if I fully understand
what’s happening, but one thing I do know is that Briggs didn’t know about
Olive.
He was played, just as much as I was, only this was a betrayal much,
much worse. Not only was he in the dark about what was happening, but he
missed seeing Olive grow inside of me, and the things about my pregnancy
that I can’t give back to him.
Am I angry? Yes. I’m fucking livid. I hate that we’ve both been robbed
of time we can’t ever get back, and that my entire pregnancy, since the
moment I read his letter, my anger has been misplaced. I truly had no idea,
and now, we’re both stuck in limbo about what’s going to happen next.
 I asked myself if I would be able to live with myself if I denied him of
something else? Of Olive’s birth? Of seeing her brought into the world.
Would everything we have been through in the short time we’ve known
each other, whether it was good or bad, prevent him from being a father?
And the only answer I could find was no. I wasn’t going to rob him of
anything else, and if in the end, he decided he didn’t want to be a part of
Olive’s life then it was a decision he could make, face to face, after seeing
his daughter.
Then, I saw the look on his face the moment he laid eyes on our baby,
wailing at the top of her lungs, angry and red, and all I could see were the
tears that filled his eyes. The emotion that was written on his features. Once
he held her for the first time, I knew right then, that Briggs Wilson was
going to be the best dad in the world, and I was going to let him.
I moan as my fingers sink into my hair, massaging the shampoo into my
scalp, allowing myself the briefest of moments to breathe. In my head, I
replay my conversation with Briggs, where he said that my body did
remarkable things.
It did, and now if anything, I feel like a shell of who I used to be. Once
the soap runs free, I glance down at my stomach that’s still protruding
slightly from birth, and the stretch marks that mar it. Angry, jagged lines
that snake up my sides, abdomen and upper thighs. A small, selfish part of
me is glad that Briggs never saw me pregnant, and that we aren’t together in
that way, because even though my body carried and protected my baby, I’m
still self-conscious of what’s been left behind.
Not that I’m thinking of being with Briggs in any type of way, of course
not. I groan out loud and look to the ceiling then squeeze my eyes tightly
shut.
No, the last thing I should ever do is get involved with my baby daddy.
That’s the worst idea that there is, and when I suggest to him that co-
parenting is the best route for us, I have no intention of ever crossing that
line.
No matter how handsome he is, or how amazing his biceps look when
they flex around the tight sleeve of his t-shirt. Or the way that the dimple in
his cheek pops when he smi-
“Maddison?”
Briggs' voice on the other side of the door causes me to jump.
“Yes?”
“Just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay. I think our
girl is getting hungry, she’s kind of sucking on her fist and I don’t uh... have
the right parts to feed her.”
I laugh quietly. Of course you don’t, you silly man.
“Be out in just a sec,” I say.
Not letting my mind wander back to Briggs, I quickly run conditioner
through my hair and wash my body, then slowly step out of the shower. I’m
not in pain as much as I was at the hospital, but my body most definitely
needs time to bounce back to what it was before.
I quickly dress in an old t-shirt and sleep shorts, and drag a brush
through my hair, getting out any tangles, then brush my teeth and open the
door. Briggs must not hear the door open because he continues to talk to
Olive in a hushed whisper.
“I hope your mama lets me stay around, little girl. I want to, so badly.
Yeah, I know, I have no clue what the hell I’m doing, Wait, I shouldn’t say
hell, sorry. But… I want to try. I’ll probably mess up, a lot. Definitely have
no clue how to change a diaper or make a bottle or anything, but I love you.
That matters right? I love you so much already.”
My heart picks up speed as tears well in my eyes. The last thing I
expected was the six-foot-three professional hockey player, baby daddy to
be so… soft, and kind, and gentle. Like Olive will break in his hands
anytime he picks her up. Olive’s tiny hand is wrapped around Briggs’ finger
as he talks to her, and the entire thing has hot tears wetting my cheeks and
me sniffling.
Sensing my presence, he looks up, alarm written on his face.
“Sorry I didn’t hear you come out. Just having a little talk with Olive.”
I nod, offering a watery smile. Obviously my hormones are haywire
since I’m crying over something so obviously small. It doesn’t feel small,
though. It feels so much bigger. A moment I’ll remember, even if things
don’t work out with Briggs.
“No, it’s okay. I’m going to feed her really quick, then put her down in
the bassinet. Do you want to hang out for a bit, give us the chance to talk
once I’m finished?” I chew my lip nervously. Aside from the first night,
I’ve never been alone with Briggs. Truthfully, there’s so much that we don’t
know about each other. Seeing him here, in my tiny, threadbare apartment,
makes me suddenly feel smaller, and wish it was in a better part of town, or
just looked nicer.
“I’d love to, if that’s okay. I can help with whatever you need,
Maddison, I mean it.”
“Thank you. For being here, and for being so...nice.”
He laughs quietly as he transfers Olive back into my arms. “The media
paints their own picture of me, but I’d like to think I’m a good guy.”
His words make me feel like I have lead in my stomach, and it’s heavy
and weighing me down.
When Olive begins to wake, I tuck her into my chest and run my nose
along her face, inhaling her newborn scent. Briggs sits back on the couch,
his large frame taking up most of the tattered, worn furniture, and I leave
him with a small smile before shutting my bedroom door behind me.
The second it shuts, I press my back against the cool wood, desperately
trying to gather my bearings. My eyes flit to my daughter who’s hungrily
gnawing on her fist, and I walk over to the bed and sit against the
headboard to feed her. The entire time she suckles, I watch her, so many
thoughts running rampant through my head.
Once she’s fallen asleep, still attached to me, I quickly set up her
bassinet next to my bed, place her inside, and then walk out to where Briggs
is still sitting on the couch, his phone in his hand.
I clear my throat nervously. “Hi.” My greeting comes out a whisper, and
I’m not sure why, but I’m even more nervous now that Olive is no longer
between us.
He glances up and smiles. “Hi.”
Even now, after not seeing each other in nine months, his handsome
face still causes a flurry of butterflies to erupt in my stomach, without even
trying.
Walking over, I grab the monitor I set on the counter, turn it on and sit
on the other side of the couch, which isn’t much room, considering he takes
up the majority of it.
“Soooo…” I trail off, fingering the still damp ends of my hair nervously.
“Never been a beat around the bush kinda guy, Maddison,” he says. “I
can never tell you just how fucking sorry I am that Conrad did this. I want
you to know that I fired him.”
My eyes widen, and he nods, his jaw clenching as he grits his teeth
together.
“He will never be an issue again. I’m so fucking sorry. I…. I want to be
in Olive’s life. I want to be her dad and be there for her.” He runs his large
hand down the scruff on his face in anxiousness. “She’s my daughter, and I
hope that you’ll allow me the chance to be a part of her life, even after
what’s happened. I need you to know that if you do allow me to be a part of
your lives, I will do everything in my power to protect you and put you both
first.”
The sincerity in his voice hits me like a punch to the gut. I can hear the
anguish, the hurt, the hope.
 Without thinking, I reach out and place my hand on his corded forearm.
“Briggs, I don’t hold what happened against you in any way. You didn’t
know. It’s obvious that if you had known about Olive, things would have
been much different. If you want to be a part of Olive’s life, then I would
never stop that from happening. Little girls need their daddies.”
Briggs eyes snap to mine. “Really?”
I nod. “I do. I don't want Olive to grow up without her father, especially
not when you want to be a part of her life. It’s not fair to either of you, she’s
your daughter and it’s your right as much as it is mine. I honestly don’t
know anything about how co-parenting is supposed to go, but I want to try.
To work together to raise our daughter. With your hockey schedule… I
don’t exactly know how things will work, but all we can do is take things
day by day.”
“I’ll be here. Night or day. No matter what you need, I’m here. I’ll make
it work however I need to, to be here for her.” Emotion is thick in his voice,
and he holds my gaze.
“I... I just, I want things to be about Olive, and only Olive. Strictly co-
parenting. After that night, I mean, not that I think about that night all the
time but,” my cheeks heat in embarrassment, god I’m stuttering over my
words like an adolescent, “I just mean I don’t want to complicate things any
more than they already are. Of course the night we were together changed
things, it gave us our daughter, but I don’t want to go into this with any
romantic notions. I want things to be about Olive.”
Briggs looks like he might speak, but ultimately nods. “I understand,
and I respect your decision.”
“Thank you. What about the papers that we signed? Do we have to do
something to give her your last name? To reinstate your rights?” I ask. It’s
the one question I’ve had since the hospital but with the way everything
happened, we weren’t able to discuss it until now. I didn’t even know he
fired Conrad till tonight.
 “He forged it, Maddison. The fucking dick forged my signature. He
forged it all. Those papers were never legal or legitimate.”
Relief floods me, which is also shocking, seeing as how just a few days
ago I hated the very ground that he walked on. It’s crazy how in just a few
days’ time, everything has changed. Not just with having Olive here with
us, but the fact that he’s here.
That we were deceived by his slimeball of an agent.
“That’s good. I think we just... we just take it day by day. I’m new at
being a mom, just like you are at being a dad. We learn as we go.”
“I agree. And listen, I need you to know something that’s important to
me. I want to keep both Olive and you out of the media. I can’t stand the
lack of privacy and putting my entire life on display. I don’t want that for
my daughter, or for you. The media, gossip sites, all of that shit… they
made my life a living hell when I went through what I did with my brother
and...” He clears his throat, and I can see the raw pain in his eyes at the
mention of the scandal with his brother and his ex-fiancée. “It’s just
something that I don’t want to deal with. Not at all. I never want to relive
that and putting Olive first means keeping her out of that. And you too. I
honestly had never been as low as I was during that time. I just refuse to let
anything happen to you two.”
I swallow thickly, emotion suddenly making it hard to breathe. I never
knew how much Briggs truly hated the media, not until now. Not until I
could actually see the pain reflecting in his eyes as he speaks about what
he’s gone through.
God, Maddison… you played a part in this. You took those headlines
and ran with them, not even considering that he could actually be hurt from
it. Not knowing the consequences of your actions, when it comes to his life.
I feel so guilty at this moment. For causing any hurt to him, even if I
wasn’t aware or didn’t know who he was. I never realized that my headlines
could actually be causing him this internal… turmoil or causing more
heartache in his life.
“Sorry to drop that on you, but I just wanted to get it out the way and let
you know that I’ll be here for you and Olive, no matter what. You’re my
first priority.”
I nod, unsure of what else to say. The last thing I should do is bring up
who I am, not when he just completely opened up about what he’s gone
through, with and because of, the media. What good would that do anyone?
It’s not as if we’re going to be together romantically, no. We just made
the decision to strictly co-parent Olive, and all me telling him will do is to
open up old wounds and hurt him, and I don’t want to do that. I never
wanted to do that.
Telling him will accomplish nothing but rocking an already unstable
boat.

“I’m so sorry, I’m barely holding my eyes open,” I say, trying to shift the
conversation because it feels too heavy, and right now, I’m so exhausted
and unsure of how to move forward. Birth itself is exhausting, but in the
past few days, I’ve barely slept because I couldn’t take my eyes off of
Olive. Even now, I’m watching her sleep with the baby monitor, and
already ready to get up to check on her. We’re only a wall away but being
away from her is hard.
“I can head out, let you guys get some rest?”
I nod. “You could come back tomorrow? You know, if you want...?” I
trail off.
“I’ll be here. What if I bring you breakfast? I have a few errands I want
to run in the morning, but I can be here around ten?”
“That sounds good. Do you have your phone?”
 He nods, then reaches into the front pocket of his jeans and pulls it out,
handing it over.
I quickly input my number, saving it under Maddison, then hand it back
to him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
We both rise from the couch, standing awkwardly for a moment before
he reaches forward and gently pulls me into his arms. His strong arms circle
my body, and for a moment, I breathe in the earthy, clean scent that I
remember so well from the weekend we spent together, before I pull back
and clear my throat.
“Goodnight, Maddison. Give Olive a kiss for me?”
He strides toward the front door, then walks out and leaves me alone in
my living room. I have a feeling that co-parenting with Briggs Wilson will
be more difficult than I thought, and it has nothing to do with him, and
everything to do with those feelings that never went away after the weekend
we spent together.
 FOURTEEN

I HATED walking out that door. Leaving Olive. And Maddison.

I could chalk it up to the fact that she’s an incredible mother, and spent
nine months carrying my child, but I refuse to lie to myself. I haven’t
stopped thinking about her since that incredible, life-changing weekend we
spent together at the inn, and now… we have a child together.
It’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around. Seeing her again stirred
up all of the old feelings inside of me that I’d been trying to forget about
since the night she left. One second, she was in my arms, and I was happier
than I had been in months, and then when I woke up… she was nowhere to
be found, leaving only a note behind that fucking gutted me.
I couldn’t even focus on the pent-up feelings for Maddison, not when
the first thing she hit me with was the importance of co-parenting Olive. I
wish I could turn off what I feel for her. It would make my life a helluva lot
easier, if shit worked that way, but it doesn’t.
And I know she’s right. Our child comes first, and I would put her first.
I’d put both of them first. Before anything else in my life, and starting
today… I’m going to show her that. Part of me still wonders why it is that
she left that night, why she didn’t stick around, but now… with her wanting
to focus on Olive, I feel like asking would just bring up old memories that
she doesn’t want to revisit.
 Not with the fact that we’re strictly going to co-parent, and nothing else.
The moment Olive took her first breath, it changed something inside
me. A protective, nurturing part of me that I’d never experienced until I
heard her tiny, piercing wail.
Now, my life has changed, and it’s all because of my girl.
Putting my truck in reverse, I pull out of the tiny parking spot at
Maddison’s and ease my truck back onto the highway. The entire drive back
to my house, I’m going through the motions. I can’t stop thinking about
Olive, or her mama.
That fucking apartment. No deadbolt on the door. The damn ceiling
might actually cave the fuck in.
How am I supposed to take care of her without being there? Knowing
that I’m leaving them there with everything falling apart, and suspect shit
growing on the ceiling.
Does she even have all the baby shit she needs? Thoughts flit through
my head a mile a minute, and I swear I can’t even fucking think straight. I
squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose with one hand as the
other clutches the wheel tightly.
The second I pull into my driveway and throw my truck into park; I pull
my phone out and Google baby necessities. Thirty minutes later, my truck’s
still running, and I’m more lost than ever. I need to head to the nearest baby
superstore. Pronto.
After typing a quick text to Reed, I dial Graham and wait for him to
pick up, tapping my finger nervously against the steering wheel. I can’t
seem to calm my nerves; I feel like I'm climbing up an endless wall that I
can’t seem to reach the top.
“Yo,” he answers after the third ring. I can hear the sound of a game in
the background, and Asher cursing. They’re probably playing Xbox since
they have nothing better to do on a Wednesday night.
“I need you. Both of you. Asap.”
 Graham shushes Asher, then puts the tv on mute before speaking, “What
are we doing? How’s Olive-you?”
My brow furrows. “Are you giving my kid a nickname at 3 days old,
rookie?”
“Fuck yeah, get it ILOVEYOU, olive-you? Never mind. What’s going
on?”
“I need you two to come to the baby store with me and pick out... I
don’t know, baby shit. Lots of it.”
Graham laughs, and Asher mutters in the background.
“Wait, why is that funny?”
“Dude, you’re asking the two of us for baby help. The only thing I
know about babies is the shit I see on tv. Aka fiction. Where’s Reed?”
“He’s meeting us there. Look, I need help. Can you meet me there in
twenty? I’m about to leave my house. I can’t show back up empty-handed.”
Graham sighs. “The shit I do for love. See you soon Daddi-o.”
The line goes dead, and I pull back out of my driveway. I’ve got to
make sure when I show back up at Maddison’s, I’m prepared.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m pulling into the parking lot of Chicago’s
biggest baby store. The website says it has everything a baby could ever
need, which coincidentally is exactly what I need.
I park in the back and walk to the front of the store, where Reed’s
leaning against the front pillar, smirking.
“Never thought I’d see this day, if I’m being honest.”
"Yeah, me either. She’s amazing, dude. I can’t wait for you guys to
come meet her.”
Reed nods. “Us too. We told Evan about her, and he’s so excited. Now,
Holland’s been talking babies for the past three days, and I’m a little
worried because I just got the hang of potty-training, man.”
He looks a little panicked, and I laugh out loud, seeing as how it’s
exactly how I’ve felt since the moment Olive took her first breath, but for
totally different reasons.
“It comes naturally, it’s like... I don’t know, the second I laid eyes on
her the trajectory of my life just shifted. I know that probably sounds
insane, but nothing feels the same. I feel like a better man, just knowing that
she exists in the same world that I do. That she’s mine.”
Reed slaps me on the back and pulls me into a hug. The guy knows no
personal space, but this time, I let him. Briefly. Chalking it up to the
overload of emotional shit I’ve had coursing through me.
“Wow, if you two aren’t the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I pull back and see Graham and Asher strolling up to where we’re
standing, wide grins on both their faces. If there’s one thing about Graham,
it’s that he’s got impeccable fucking timing.
“Let’s do this.”
We walk through the huge double doors into what seems like a whole
new fucking world.
The blinding fluorescent lights are bright enough to give me a damn
headache and there’s more shit for kids than I think I’ve ever seen in my
entire life, further overwhelming me.
“Holy shit,” Asher mutters.
“No kidding,” Graham agrees then strolls over to the shopping carts and
grabs one. “Definitely going to need one of these. Actually, you know what,
Asher grab one, we’ll probably need two.”
He sounds way too giddy, like a kid in a candy store, instead of a
hockey player in a baby superstore.
“Where do we start?” Asher asks, a second cart in hand.
“Fuck if I know. Babies eat, I know that.”
Reed scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, but is Olive breastfed or formula
fed?”
Oh shit, he’s right.
“Breast.”
 I try not to think about Maddison’s tits in the middle of the store, but
fail, miserably. My desire for her seems to have only heightened in the last
few days. She’s so fucking incredib-”
“Lover boy. Focus,” Reed barks.
Graham and Asher look at each other and smirk.
“Clothes. That’s where we’ll start.”
“Lead the way, sir.”
Two hours later, we’re standing in the stroller section of the store with
both shopping carts completely loaded down, while Graham battles with
some kind of stroller contraption that converts from a car seat into the
stroller.
I’m beginning to realize just how in over my head I am. There are so
many different types of fucking foods. Different stages. Organic. Gluten
free. Regular plastic forks, and BPA free. Fuck, don’t even get me started
on the different kind of bottle brushes. How many different ways could you
possibly have to clean a bottle? A fuck ton. That’s how many.
“You okay?” Reed asks quietly as we watch Graham all but wrestle the
thing to the floor. His face is turning red, and he’s huffing and puffing like
he’s doing a workout. Pretty sure there’s a red lever at the bottom, or at least
that’s what the instructions on the sign say, but I’d rather see him lose his
shit, trying to figure it out. Much more entertaining.
“Bit overwhelmed. Reed, I’m going to fuck this up. Just like I do
everything else. You know it, I know it. I just don’t ever want to let her
down or disappoint her. I mean, not just in the future… hell, I’m sure she’s
seen the news, Twitter or gossip sites. Half the shit is true, but half of it
isn’t. She probably is worried about what kind of father I’ll be when
everything she’s seen probably has her questioning what kind of man I am.
Fuck, I sat the bench for almost a year. I can’t believe they didn’t drop me. I
lost every single endorsement I had because I became a liability. I don’t
want to be a liability to her. I want to show her that I’m not that man
anymore, and I’m a better person, all because of that shit that I went
through.”
“Nah, man, you got this. Don’t let the past fuck up the gift you’ve been
given. Yeah… things were rocky for a while, but nobody’s perfect. What
matters is that you changed. You realized where things went wrong and you
turned everything around. I’m proud to call you my brother, Briggs. I
believe in you; you’ve just got to believe in yourself. Maddison will see
exactly the man that you are, and the past won’t matter.”
I nod, shuffling from one foot to the other. My past and the people in it
will never touch my daughter, that much I’m sure of. It’s been a long time
coming, but I need to let it all go and move on.
“Fuck,” Graham grunts, kicking the wheel of the stroller with his foot.
Asher laughs until he’s doubled over and has tears wetting his cheeks.
“Dude, I should put this shit online so everybody else can see it.”
Hell, the Puck Bunny probably will before anyone else has the chance.
“Do it, and you’re dead.”
Finally, he finds the lever and the seat folds down easily. So easily that
his jaw drops in shock, and he whips around to look at the three of us with
accusation in his eyes.
“You fuckers! You knew that lever was there the whole time and you let
my ass go through that.”
This time, it’s Reed and I that lose it, laughing until our stomachs hurt.
He puts the stroller box underneath the basket, and we walk to the front of
the store to checkout, but we stop at an end cap featuring guys wearing their
kids in some kind of… thing on their chest.
“What the hell is that thing?” I ask.
Reed looks at the box and realization hits him. “Oh shit, that’s a baby
wearer.”
A baby wearer?
People wear their babies around?
 For fucks sake.
The six baby books I got are going to be even more useful than I
originally thought. Apparently, I don’t know even half of it.
“You need one of these.” A teenage girl walks up, smiling. She’s
wearing a polo with the store's logo on the chest, and relief immediately
floods my system.
Thank god. A professional.
“Yeah, uh, which one? There’s like twelve.”
She walks over to the end-cap and picks up the most expensive one.
“Definitely this one. Think of this as the Cadillac of all baby carriers. Not
only will baby be riding in style,” she pauses, giggling before turning it
around and pointing out the features on the box, “Mom and Dad will have
the most comfort and support while baby wearing. Plus, there’s a lifetime
warranty.”
I swallow thickly. “Okay perfect. Thanks.” Taking the box from her, I
toss it in the basket and we continue on to the checkout.
“I’m wearing that shit first, and Olive-you and I can go on adventures.”
“How about we try and make it out of the store in one piece before we
plan any grand adventures.”
Graham nods solemnly, “Truth.”

Nervous doesn’t begin to describe how I feel standing outside Maddison’s

door the next morning with Graham, Asher, Reed, and Hudson flanking my
sides. Our hands are filled with bags and boxes of shit. I admit, we all
probably went a bit overboard yesterday, but what’s done is done now, and I
just hope like fuck she’s okay with me purchasing all of it for Olive.
“Can’t believe you guys went without me,” Hudson grumbles again for
the tenth time since we met at my house this morning and asked him to help
us cart all this shit to Maddison’s apartment.
“You were at your bunny’s house; what did you suppose we did? Roll
up in the dad mobile?” Graham retorts.
Fuck, my truck is not the dad mobile. Or is it?
Seconds later, the door swings open, and Maddison comes into view
with Olive nestled into her chest. Her hair is up in a messy bun on the top of
her head, and there are dark purple and blue circles under her eyes. She
looks absolutely exhausted, and yet still so fucking beautiful that it causes
my chest to ache.
“Oh my god,” she breathes, her eyes falling on each of the numb nuts
standing next to me. I can’t gauge her facial expression, besides shock, to
know whether that’s a good “oh my god” or a bad one.
“Hi,” I say.
“What’s up, beautiful?” Graham smirks. I look at him with a death stare
that tells him he better can it if he wants to walk out of here alive.
“Uh, Briggs? What in the world is all of this?” She glances back and
forth among all of us again. Olive stirs in her arms, letting out a tiny little
cry, and my heart lurches.
God, I love her.
“Awe!” Graham exclaims, “Can I hold her? Please?”
Maddison laughs lightly. “Uh, I don’t even know you, no offense.”
"Shit, I’m sorry. This is Graham, Asher, Hudson, and Reed. My best
friends and my teammates.”
Maddison looks slightly panicked for a second but nods. “HI, I’m
Maddison. I’m... Uh, Briggs’...”
She stutters, but Asher speaks up, “Baby mama.”
Her cheeks tint pink at the endearment, but she nods. “I guess so.”
Directing her attention back to me she says, “Briggs, what is all of this?”
“Baby stuff. Honestly, I don’t even know what half of it is, but the girls
at the store said that it’s what she’ll need.”
 Maddison pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and opens the door wider.
“Come in, sorry, I was just a little shocked.”
“I have that effect on women,” Graham quips.
I lift my hand full of bags and still manage to wop him in the back of
the head.
“What? It’s true.”
Fuck, I’m going to kill him.
We file inside Maddison’s apartment one at a time and set all of the bags
and boxes down on the floor in her living room. Now that I’m really
looking at it, I think we definitely went overboard.
“Wow. This is a lot of stuff.” Maddison breathes, her eyes wide as she
takes in all the stuff.
I nod. “Might have possibly went a little crazy.”
“I don’t even know where I will put all of this.”
Graham plops down on her couch, and Asher and Hudson sit down next
to him, making themselves at home.
I can tell Maddison is seriously overwhelmed and now Olive is starting
to get fussy in her arms.
“Hey guys, thanks for helping me get all of this over here. I’ll call you
later?”
Reed nods where he’s leaning by the front door.
“But, I didn’t even get to hold her yet!” Graham complains.
“Graham, shut up.”
Maddison’s grinning nervously at the exchange between all of us and I
realize that we can be a bit much, especially all at once. I probably
should’ve run this by her before I bought half the damn store and delivered
it to her apartment.
Shit. I’m already fucking this up and it’s barely been three days.
“I’ll text later.”
 They tell Maddison goodbye, and follow Reed out the door, shutting it
behind them. Silence settles around us, but I speak.
“Maddison, I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you first, I just didn’t want
to show up empty-handed and then we got there and fuck, there was so
much… stuff. I didn’t want to leave anything behind and she needs it and-”
“Briggs.” She speaks softly. “It’s okay. I appreciate this. I appreciate the
gesture.”
Thank fuck. My heart hammers against my rib cage.
“I can take it all back, honestly, especially that damn car seat, it’s a pain
in the ass.”
She glances over at the box with the car seat. “Holy shit is that a
Doona? Briggs, no, you have to take that back. That thing is more than my
rent… for like three months.”
"My girl deserves the best, Mads. I read all of the safety guides and it’s
rated number one. It has the best rating after several rounds of safety testing
as well as the longest durability.”
Shaking her head, she stammers, “But... It’s just so expensive. There’s
no way. I can’t.”
Walking closer, I place my hand on her arm. “You can. Listen, I know
that you’re independent. I’m in no way trying to bulldoze my way into your
life and take over anything. It’s just... I missed so much. I missed seeing
Olive grow inside of you, and all of the things I should’ve been here for. It’s
all I can do to even attempt to make up for my absence. I want her to have
the best, in any way that I can.”
She chews her lip nervously. “I know. I do. We can go through it all.
Together. Then we can decide what to return. I don’t even have space for all
of these things.”
I nod. “Yes, if that’s what will make you happy, and Olive happy, then
yes.”
“Okay, want to hold Olive while I start?”
 Gazing at my daughter, adoration blooms inside my chest, tethering
itself to my heart for what feels like eternity. “Always. Come here, my baby
girl.” I whisper, taking her out of her mother’s arms.
For the first time since walking into Maddison’s apartment, I feel useful,
even if my shopping spree doesn’t all stay, I did something that I didn’t
totally fuck up. It makes me happy to be able do this for Olive, and for
Maddison.
 FIFTEEN

I HIT THE BACKSPACE KEY. Again. For what feels like the thousandth
time tonight. My ability to draft a regular, nothing out of the ordinary blog
post seems to be broken, and honestly?
I think it has everything to do with Briggs. I groan and drop my head
onto my laptop on the kitchen table. Glancing at the small clock at the top
right of my computer, the time reads three twenty-seven a.m. I’ve been
sitting here for two hours, and I have exactly zero words to show for it.
After Olive woke up from her midnight feeding, I finally got her back to
sleep and managed to sit down at my computer and accomplish… nothing.
Actually, I’d have lots of words if I hadn’t deleted.. Every. Single. One
of them.
My brain is officially broken and I have no idea why. Maybe because
I’m exhausted and have a newborn, or maybe it’s because Briggs poured his
heart out and now something inside of me feels… different. Realization has
seeped into my head, and now I’m doubting everything.
Ever since Briggs and I had the conversation about the impact the media
had on him during one of the worst times of his life, it’s made me question
The Puck Bunny.
Entirely.
 If he feels this way, then do others? Have I hurt others unintentionally
with who and what I report on?
I started this anonymous sports blog when I was barely twenty, and now
it’s been four years, and it’s grown tremendously. Way bigger than I ever
imagined, and sometimes it’s hard to believe that it’s grown to this size. I
think the last time I checked, I had over a million subscribers. The Puck
Bunny started as a place where I could share my love for hockey and for
journalism in the same place. Growing up, it was the one sport that Grams
constantly had on the tv. Gramps was a hockey fan before he passed away,
and then somewhere along the line, I fell in love with it too. It was
something I looked forward to, and once I realized that I loved watching the
highlights the most, the rest is history.
I realized then that journalism was my calling.
Becoming a journalism major and starting The Puck Bunny felt…right.
Writing these posts that are sometimes funny, and focus on the other side of
hockey too, not just players and teams’ stats.
The scandalous side.
It was all fun, and games and then… I got pregnant with Olive, and it
went from being a hobby, to something that had grown exponentially and
with growth, came income.
Income that I desperately needed now that I was having a baby, alone.
That’s why I continued to blog my entire pregnancy because I needed
the money even more now than before. I was in school, with no medical
insurance, because I was technically self-employed, and I had to prepare for
a baby without the help of Briggs. The medical bills alone took a huge
chunk from my savings. And, I would never have asked my grams for help,
not unless there was absolutely no other choice.
She has enough on her plate with the Brickside, and the amount of
money that it costs to keep it up.
 “Come on Maddison, it’s literally a fucking paragraph. You can do
this.” I try to talk myself up. My fingers hover over the keyboard again, and
I type a simple sentence.
The Puck Bunny is officially… out of scandals.
Backspace. Backspace. Backspace.
Would Briggs hate me the same way that he hates the rest of the media?
Would he hate me for the posts from before I even knew him?
I can’t stop thinking about what he said, and the fact that I could
possibly be hurting others with what I post.
But, it’s my job. A job that I have to have in order to support my
daughter, even though I’ve padded my savings. It’s always just been a job, a
way to reach my dreams.
I just don’t want to be the person that hurts Briggs, not after everything
he’s gone through… even if we’re not together, he’s still Olive’s father and
I don’t want to hurt him.
Since I’m obviously not making any headway in drafting a new blog
post, I pull up Google and type his name in the search bar.
Briggs Wilson.
A dozen articles pop up immediately. A few on his latest hockey stats
and a few of my own articles take center stage.
Briggs Wilson, betrayed by his own blood, brother caught in bed with
his cheating fiancée. Family dinners will most definitely be awkward now.
Chicago’s bad boy strikes again, arrested for being drunk and
disorderly. When will the Avalanches’ center get it together?
Next stop… no longer a part of the Avalanche organization? Briggs
Wilson, a recipe for disaster, says NHL announcer.
God, these are awful. Swallowing harshly, I bite back the sting of tears.
Jesus Maddison, you can’t continue this, you can’t have anything to do with
something so damning.. so cruel, he’s Olive’s father. I can’t imagine Olive
growing up and knowing that I was a part of something that hurt Briggs.
 I pull up my email and delete each and every tip that’s come through in
the past month. The ones I haven’t touched, because I was trying to
navigate motherhood, but now? I can’t even look at them without feeling
sick. Not when Olive’s father is the topic of so many of them.
And not even just that he’s Olive’s father, but that he’s a good man, and
he’s shown me that. He and his friends, they have been here constantly to
show support to me, and to Olive.
Right here and now, I make the only decision I can. The only one that
feels right.
The future of The Puck Bunny is on hold, and I don’t know for how
long. I just know that I won’t hurt him, not ever again, not when I now
know who he really is, and what those headlines did to him.
Slamming my laptop shut, I exhale.
I’m done.
 SIXTEEN

HOLY HELL. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

I am so in over my head; I am going to drown at any moment. And the
culprit? My ridiculously attractive, baby daddy who insists on being the
opposite of everything I thought he was. He’s kind, attentive, and so good
with our daughter that my heart feels like it may jump out of my chest each
time I glance at them together.
A week has passed since he showed up at my house with four other way
too good-looking hockey players and an entire department store full of stuff
for Olive in their arms.
Things have been…. interesting. Overwhelming, if I’m being honest.
Being a new mother is challenging in itself, then adding in Briggs makes
it’s a whole new world for me and my Olive girl.
She’s an angel on earth, my sweet girl, even if I don't get much sleep
these days. Partially because of her schedule, and then add in my thoughts
being plagued with Briggs, and sleep has not come easily.
“Let me take a shift tonight, you’re exhausted,” Briggs says, sitting next
to me on the couch, watching as I burp Olive.
“It’s okay, you probably have a packed schedule.”
I set her down in the bouncer in front of me and watch as she tries to eat
her little mitten-covered fists, cooing sweetly.
 “Maddison, look at me.” Briggs’ voice is low and hoarse, commanding
in a way that I haven’t heard since that night at the Brickside. It sends a
shiver down my spine. I turn to face him, our gazes locking as he speaks,
“You’re exhausted, and you need time to rest. I can handle one night, and if
something happens that I can’t, I’ll wake you. We’ll be a door apart. You
have enough milk pumped for a night, right?”
I nod, chewing my lip nervously at the thought of an entire night away
from Olive, even if it’s just through the door of my bedroom. Not that I
don’t think Briggs is capable, he is. It’s just hard trusting anyone that isn’t
you with something as precious as your little girl.
"I’ll try. No promises.”
He nods. “I just need her bassinet and a blanket and pillow, and we’ll be
fine.”
He’s been trying so hard to learn anything he possibly can about how to
be a dad, and I appreciate every second that he tries. Watching him wrestle
with a diaper, with his daughter so tiny and small while he hunches over
her, is possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. We haven’t reached poop
territory yet, but the last time he tried changing a diaper, he at least turned
the diaper the right way this time. Imagine him trying to secure the tabs
with it on backwards…
Yeah.
I giggle to myself at the thought, and he looks at me with a confused
look, his brow furrowed.
“Just thinking about you trying to put a diaper on her… backwards.”
He grins. “Look, those things are entirely too complicated to put on a
baby, but I watched some YouTube videos, and I'm fully prepared to take on
the next one.”
“That so?” I giggle.
Briggs' eyes seem to darken in front of me, changing into something
entirely different as he watches me. “I missed your laugh.” He says so
quietly I almost miss it.
I swallow thickly, tamping down the emotion that has clogged my
throat. I’m entirely too emotional to go anywhere near this topic with him.
Lately, he’s been growing out the thick stubble on his cheeks, and if
anything, the dark hair seems to make his eyes pop even more. I shouldn’t
be noticing things like this, but I can’t help it.
My baby daddy is ridiculously handsome, and time has done nothing
but make him even more so.
“So, how about dinner? I make delicious spaghetti, and I think I have all
of the ingredients.”
He nods and says nothing else, even though I can tell that he wants to.
Olive begins to fuss when I’m in the kitchen preparing a quick dinner,
but Briggs lifts her from her bouncer, talking to her in a soft, calming voice
that has my insides turning into a pile of mush.
God, men with their babies have got to be the sexiest thing on the entire
planet.
Mission abort, Maddison. There are rules in place for a reason. A
multitude of them. You can’t, and will not, complicate things between the
two of you even more than they already are.
Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it, and when he realizes what
I’m hiding, he may walk out that door and never come back. My stomach
churns at the thought.
It’s the main reason I haven’t sat him down and come clean, explaining
my job and the past Puck Bunny to him. I don’t know how to say it without
hurting him. Without bringing up a past that he’s so desperately trying to
move on from. I’m worried that the second I tell him, he’ll leave and he’ll
hate me in the process. I don't want to cause strife between us and his
relationship with Olive will undoubtedly suffer.
I don’t want that. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.
 I brown the ground meat and add in the homemade sauce I whipped up,
then set the noodles to boil when I realize that it’s quiet in the living room. I
grab the hand towel from the handle of the oven and dry my hands before
checking on Olive and Briggs.
When I do, I stop in my tracks. Olive is sound asleep on Briggs’ chest,
with his hands protectively holding her in place as he snores lightly.
In the twenty minutes I was in the kitchen, they fell asleep together. If I
thought my ovaries were having a fit before… well now, they’re exploding.
Sighing, I shake my head trying to clear the bad, very bad thoughts from
intruding, but it seems impossible staring at them.
I pull my phone out of the pocket of my worn hoodie and text Ty.
Me: I don’t know which logical, intelligent part of me thought this
was going to be easy.
I walk back into the kitchen to stir the sauce when my phone dings with
his response.
Ty: Honey, that man exudes BD energy. Did you ever think you’d
be safe from his charms? Shall I remind you of how sweetie pants O got
here in the first place?
No, I surely did not. I’d never forget the whirlwind weekend that we
spent together at the lake. Even when I hated him, I couldn’t seem to push
him from my mind, no matter how hard I tried to forget him.
The truth is, I left that night, as much as it hurt me to, because I knew
exactly who Briggs was. Or at least, I thought I did then. And even though I
felt like I got to know the real him, I knew whatever happened between us
wouldn’t last. I thought, he’s a professional hockey player… one who stays
in the headlines, the last thing I should do is start something with someone
who can’t commit.
I never expected to end up pregnant, or for the events that unfolded to
happen.
 Now, together, we’re navigating the messy, turbulent waters of
parenthood. I’m desperately trying to keep my distance because my heart
can’t take the beating, and at the end of the day Olive is what matters.
Making sure we work together as a team, seamlessly, that’s what matters.
My heart has no say in the matter, even if he is the most charming man
on the planet.
Me: Look at this.
I type, then walk over to the archway and snap a photo of Briggs and
Olive, cuddled together asleep on the couch then attach it to my message to
Ty.
His typing bubble pops up immediately.
Ty: Oh my God. Are you kidding me? dying emoji Even Kyle said
that is so frickin cute and you know he’s still holding a grudge the size
of Texas.
I laugh out loud, quickly covering my mouth to stifle the sound, careful
not to wake them before typing back.
Me: I know. It’s hard, Ty. I just… I don’t want to tell him about
The Puck Bunny. It’s only going to hurt him, what good would it even
do? We’re already so tangled in this mess. I just, ugh, I don’t know
what to do.
Ty: I know honey, but what if you don’t tell him? What will happen
in the end? Will he be angry that you didn’t tell him in the beginning
and think that you lied? Maybe you should, and then you can start with
a clean slate and things will wind up much better than you think.
Tears well in my eyes, and I quickly swipe them away. Sheesh, my
hormones are completely out of control. I blame them, but deep down, I’m
scared. Each day that passes, I struggle more and more with the right thing,
the right decision. I’m scared if I’m honest, it’ll destroy him even further,
and I can’t stomach that. But… at the same time, if I don’t tell him, then
what happens? What will the future hold? After the conversation the night
that we got home from the hospital, it’s been all that I can think about, co-
parenting or not, he’s my little girl’s daddy.
Me: Love you, Ty. Give Kyle a kiss for me. Visit us soon?
Ty: You know it, baby. Uncle Kyle and I can’t wait to give sweet girl
snuggles.
By the time I’m done texting Ty, the water in the pot of noodles has
begun to boil over, and I curse.
“Shit.”
Suddenly, I feel a presence, and I look up to see Briggs standing behind
me, reaching over me to remove the pot from the burner that I almost burn
my finger on.
“I’ve got it,” he says softly, before stepping around me to pour the
boiling water into the strainer.
“Thank you, I got distracted.” I bring my hand to my forehead and
massage the ache that’s beginning to form behind my eyes. “I think you’re
right; I am exhausted.”
He nods, giving me a small upturn of his lips. “You need rest. Let’s eat,
and then after, you can take a hot bath and relax. I’ve got Olive.”
“Are you sure? I’m okay, really. Once she has her last feeding, she
will-” He cuts me off by placing the rough pad of his finger over my lips.
“Yes, Maddison. I’ve got this. Relax.”
“Okay.”
Together, we set the table for the two of us and sit down together. He
works on the food while I put ice in our glasses and fill them with water. It
feels… strange. Truthfully, I never thought I’d be around Briggs again and
now we’re sitting down and eating a meal while our daughter sleeps
peacefully just feet away.
“Your friends are hilarious,” I tell him. “The tall one, with the blond
hair and light blue eyes? He’s obviously the funny one out of all of you
macho guys.”
 I’m teasing him, but he pretends to be offended. “Are you saying that
I’m not funny Maddison?”
His dimpled grin makes my heart flutter. I love when he teases me like
this, especially over his friends or hockey. We don’t talk about his job
much. For obvious reasons, it’s a bit of grey area that we haven’t ever really
discussed, but bringing them here today, it opened a new door that we can’t
sit silent and ignore. Even after the time we’ve spent together, there’s still a
whole side of Briggs, a large part of his life that I don’t know anything
about.
“No,” I laugh, “I can just tell he’s definitely the most outgoing.”
Briggs takes a sip of his ice water from the only actual nice glasses that
I own, a housewarming gift from Ty and Kyle when I moved into this
apartment and out of the one that we shared together, then he nods.
“Graham Adams. He’s the rookie. Kid doesn’t have bad days, he’s always
like this hyper-ass chihuahua with an endless amount of energy that seems
to recycle into even more.”
“That is a terrible analogy, Briggs.”
He shrugs and laughs, deep and low, “Yeah, but it’s true. He’s a good
kid, works harder than anyone I know to be better at hockey. Trying
constantly to improve. I respect it. I mean, he’s going to hit on anything
with two legs, but mostly, we just ignore that.
“That, I can see.” I laugh. “It was nice of them... you know...to come
here and help out. Graham seems enamored with Olive.”
“Trust me, he is. Better someone else’s kid than his own. That’s the last
thing he needs.”
I swallow thickly. “I used to say that too. But, I wouldn’t trade Olive for
anything.”
“Me either. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Sincerity
shines in his eyes as he speaks, and it causes my already pounding heart to
feel like it might come out of my chest.
 We finish our meal in comfortable silence. After dinner, Briggs clears
the table for me, just as my breasts begin to ache, signaling it’s time to
pump or to feed Olive. I glance at the clock and realize it’s time for her
feeding.
“I’m going to feed Olive before I head to bed. If it’s fine with you, I’m
going to feed her in here,” I say, nodding toward the couch.
“Of course. Our daughter’s hungry, she needs to eat.” His eyes hold
mine and he steps closer, brushing his fingers lightly over the pink of
Olive’s cheeks. “Don’t ever feel you have to hide it from me unless it
makes you feel uncomfortable.”
Why do emotions suddenly clog my throat? I don’t know. I know that
the close proximity of Briggs has my heart racing a mile a minute, and
when he throws in his charm and ridiculously sweet, attentive words, I feel
like putty in his hands.
I clear my throat. “Thank you. I just wanted to make sure you were
comfortable.”
He tidies up the kitchen while I situate both myself and Olive on the
couch, placing her Boppy underneath her, and sliding my tank top up to
begin our nightly feeding routine. She’s fussy and eating her little fists
because she’s hungry.
“I’m sorry my sweet Olive. Mama had to eat something too.” Guiding
her toward my full breast, she latches on easily and begins to suckle.
Watching her eat, I’m in complete awe. It’s hard to believe that she’s so
beautiful, and that Briggs and I were able to create this perfect, tiny little
baby. I feel eyes on me and look up to see Briggs leaning against the wall
opposite of us, with his arms folded over his chest. The thick, corded
muscles of his forearms peeking out the sleeves of his faded black t-shirt.
“I know I probably look so much different… you know then back then.”
My cheeks heat in embarrassment saying it, but I feel like I should probably
put that out there. “I’m pretty much walking around with two-day old hair,
leaky boobs… more stretch marks than ever. You sure you wanna be here
with me and not out with some super hot model?”
Briggs shakes his head and walks over to where I’m sitting next to
Olive, squatting down in front of us. “Do you have any idea how in awe I
am of you? How fucking strong and beautiful, I think you are? I know, co-
parenting, but… don’t ever talk about yourself like that again Maddison.”
His eyes are full of heat, and I swallow thickly at the intensity of the
moment.
“You’re feeding my daughter, and it’s the best thing in the entire world.
I think you are amazing and there is nowhere else I’d rather be. Nowhere.
Know that.”
He reaches out and rubs his thumb along Olive’s cheek and smiles, the
most beautiful, blinding smile that takes my breath away. Even when it
shouldn’t. Resisting him, and his charm, will be the thing that’s the hardest,
I already know that and I have since the day he walked back into our lives.
“Thank you, for being here.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always be here. The season’s ending
soon, so I’ll have more time on my hands, more time to spend with Olive.”
“That’ll be good. I took the semester off, but I uh, I have some work
that I do online for a news station, so I’ll try and take care of that when you
are here.”
“I can come over in the mornings before practice, or after,” he says.
I nod. “If you want... the couch is always open, I mean, totally up to
you. I just, it keeps from you having to go back and forth so much, and all
of Olive’s things are here.”
Offering the couch up seems like something small… but for us? It’s a
giant step. Together.
 SEVENTEEN

THE NEXT FEW weeks pass so quickly, it feels like I blinked, and Olive
is this bright-eyed, babbling girl who has me completely and utterly
wrapped around her finger. She’s growing so fast that I’m afraid to look
away, even for a second, in fear that I’ll miss something.
For so long, hockey has been my life. It’s been the center of my
universe. I lived and breathed the ice. Everything I did was with my career
in mind. Now, Olive is my life. Plain and simple, she’s the reason my heart
beats. My entire world.
“Jesus Christ, why is this so complicated,” I mutter, trying to button the
bottom, or hell, maybe it’s the side, who even knows at this point, of
Olive’s outfit. There should not be this many buttons on an outfit for a baby.
“Shit.”
Damnit. I can’t curse in front of Olive. Even if she can’t understand yet.
I pick her up gently, then cuddle her against my chest and murmur, “I’m
sorry, baby girl, Daddy’s so sorry. Don’t say that word, okay? I don’t want
your mom to think I’m a bad influence.”
She babbles happily, offering me the cutest baby grin ever, even if I am
biased, and I glance back down at her outfit.
“There has to be an easier way to get this thing on. Has to be.”
 I’m still grumbling to myself when Maddison walks in the room and
laughs out loud when she sees me struggling. Her cheeks are flushed red,
her face free of any makeup, and her hair is curled down her back. She
looks so beautiful, it takes my breath away, every single time I see her. I’ve
spent more nights on her springy couch in the last six weeks than I have in
my own bed, seeing her still makes me ache to have her in my arms again.
True to our agreement, we’ve both kept our distance, and things have
been strictly platonic between us.
Even though we’ve never crossed back over the line into what we were
before, it doesn’t mean my feelings have disappeared.
If anything, they’re stronger than ever. I’m fucking crazy about her.
She’s the most amazing mother. Attentive, patient and selfless with
Olive. Motherhood has made her even more beautiful in my eyes, and
sometimes I have to walk out of the room just to stop from taking her into
my arms and kissing her breathless. Aside from motherhood, I’ve learned
how kind and incredibly selfless she is with everyone. She’s strong,
resilient, and, somehow, this woman’s smile is the cure to any bad day there
is.
“Having trouble?” She smirks. Even though she’s barely over five feet,
she bumps me out of the way teasingly and bends down, talking to Olive in
her mama voice as I like to call it.
“Did Daddy put this on wrong, my Olive girl?” She giggles and unsnaps
the contraption. “He’s so silly huh? Daddy is so silly.”
She tickles Olive’s belly, trying to get a laugh out of her. It’s both of our
life goals to see how many laughs we can get from her, and right now, we’re
tied.
“Hey, I can’t help if they make that thing like a Rubik's Cube for
babies,” I lower my voice into a whisper, “Damn thing is complicated.”
Maddison laughs. “Briggs, it’s a onesie with a tutu. Look, these two
snap together.” She brings the opposite end of what I was trying to fit
together, and with a quick snap, she has the entire outfit on her. Correctly.
I groan, dropping onto the bed next to Olive, taking her little hand into
mine. “Daddy loves you Olive drop. Just don’t leave me in charge of your
pretty outfits, and everything will be fine.”
Her mama watches our exchange with her lip pulled between her teeth
and a small smirk on her heart-shaped mouth that makes me want to kiss
her senseless. The things I want to do to that mouth...I’m not even going to
think about when Olive’s in the room.
Maddison’s headed to her six-week checkup with her doctor today and
that means that Olive and I are going to hang out with Uncle Graham,
Uncle Asher and Uncle Hudson today.
“Are you sure it’s okay if they come by?” I ask her for the millionth
time. I want more than anything to bring up the topic of them coming to
stay at my house, but I know Maddison, and the last thing I want to do is
offend her or seem like I’m trying to bulldoze into their lives.
Maddison rolls her eyes while she slips her small, hooped earrings into
her ears. Our gaze connects through the mirror in front of her bed. “Yes, it’s
really no big deal. I just hate that my apartment is so… small. It feels like a
shoebox when all of you are here.”
I can see the hesitation in her eyes. Before I talk myself out of it, I bring
it up. “I was thinking… what if we, I don’t know, went to my house for a
while?”
Her eyes dart back up to meet mine, and there’s hesitation. “Briggs…”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “It’s just an idea. Your maintenance
man still hasn’t made it by, and it’s been weeks. I fixed the handle on the
sink and fixed the seal on the window, just last week. I’m just saying, Mads,
my house is huge, way more than I could ever hope to fill, and I don’t
know, I think I’d like to have you both there.”
Maddison turns to face me, “That would complicate things, and we
agreed to not do that, remember?”
 I nod. “I do, but I also know that I want to do whatever I can to take
care of Olive… and you. And I mean, I stay here, so we could all stay at my
place just like we do here.”
Her eyes widen slightly, and her throat bobs as she swallows, then
glances down at the watch on her wrist. “Can we talk about this when I get
back? I have to go or I’m going to be late.”
“Sure. Be careful. Olive and I are going to hang out with Uncle Graham
and Uncle Asher and Uncle Hudson and watch a game. Isn’t that right, my
Olive girl?” I coo, rubbing my finger lightly against her cheek.
Looking up, I see Maddison’s face soften as she stares at the two of us.
“Later? Okay? Thank you for hanging out with her while I go. Call me if
you need anything, seriously, anything.”
“Mads, I’ve got it. Okay? Don’t worry.”
She nods nervously, before offering me a small smile, grabbing her
purse and leaving me and Olive standing there watching her go.
“I don’t know if you know this, Olive, but your mama is a worry wart.
We’ve got this, it’s only a few hours. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Oh my god. This is bad. So fucking bad.”

“I’m going to puke.”
“What do we do? Graham stop fucking gagging and help me. Graham!”
“Asher, clear the sink out. Hudson... Google it. No, pull up YouTube.”
For the record, everything is not fine. In fact, this is a fucking disaster.
“Dude, you have to call her.” Asher shakes his head, still plugging his
nose.
“I am not fucking calling her. She’ll think I’m, no we’re all, incapable
of taking care of Olive by ourselves.”
 We are capable. More than capable. We’re grown-ass men, we play
professional hockey in the most ruthless, competitive industry in the world,
damnit!
Fuck, I don’t know if we’ve got this.
“I’m literally about to puke all over this carpet. Sorry Olive-you, but
you stink,” Graham mutters. He’s clutching his stomach, and honestly, he
does look a little green. Hell, we probably all do.
It was going fine. The guys and I were watching a game, Olive was
playing on her little play mat in front of us that sings and lights up, and
then… we smelled it.
At first, Asher said it was Hudson, and then Hudson said it was
Graham, but really, it was Olive. We were all unsuspecting, and completely
fooled by her baby laughs and coos.
Turns out, those tiny little diapers really don’t hold much shit at all.
Literally. There was an explosion of epic proportions, and before I could
even get her off the play-mat, she was somehow covered in it from the top
of her head to the bottom of her toes. Shit. Everywhere.
On her, the outfit, the play-mat, the carpet, even on me, and I’m an
innocent bystander in all of this.
“Honestly, it’s a little alarming that someone so little can cause this
much damage.” Graham looks at me in horror. “Briggs… I think it’s on the
ceiling. How in the fuck did it get up there? Oh god, that’s it, I’m barfing.”
He runs out the front door like it’s on fire. I can hear him actually
throwing up outside, and if everything in the room, including me and Olive,
weren’t covered in shit, I’d probably laugh at the ridiculousness of this
situation.
I take a figurative deep breath, since I can’t actually breathe in right
now, and look at Asher. “I’m going to put her in the sink, go turn the water
on and make sure it’s lukewarm, not hot. Hurry.”
 He nods, and sprints toward the kitchen. I’m holding Olive out in front
of me with extended arms, careful not to touch anything else, including
myself, with her and her explosion.
“I’ll get a towel,” Hudson says.
Finally, one of them uses their brain.
“Alright Olive. Not going to lie, baby girl, you took us by surprise with
this shit bomb, I mean, poop bomb. So, we’re going to have to take some
drastic measures.”
Not that she has any actual idea what I’m saying, she’s just staring at me
like I’ve lost my damn mind. It’s amazing how, in just under two months,
she’s changed. Every day I think she looks more and more like Maddison,
and every day, I fall more in love with her.
“Ready,” Asher calls from the kitchen.
I carry Olive through the living room into the kitchen, where Asher is
waiting with the warm water running and the sink sprayer in hand.
“When in doubt, spray.”
“That’s not a thing.” I shake my head.
He shrugs. “It is a thing. I made it a thing.”
“Got it!” Hudson comes sliding into the kitchen with a towel and wash
rag in hand, and then… we get to work.
Asher sprays Olive’s legs, and chunks of poop scatter in the sink,
running in disgusting rivets down her legs, as he gags dramatically.
Barely keeping it together, he mutters, “Oh god, this is really fucking
bad. Why did you think we could handle this? We can’t handle this, man.
Are you okay, Olive? How’s our girl doing?”
Olive coos in response to him, offering a cheeky toothless grin. How
ironic that we’re all about to die, and the culprit is smiling and giggling like
she knows exactly what she’s doing.
Rotten thing.
Literally.
 “Just keep spraying. We’ll get the majority off of her. What did
YouTube say? Should we torch the outfit? Is it salvageable? I mean… can
you even wash this out?” I look at Hudson, who’s shrugging. “Fuck, this is
one of Maddison’s favorite outfits.” It’s frilly and girly and shit.
The exact thing women love, and if Maddison finds out that I let it get
destroyed in an act of war, she’ll probably never leave me home with Olive
again.
I groan. I feel like I’m failing, even though I’m giving it everything I’ve
got. I just hope that Olive and Maddison both realize it.
Graham reappears in the kitchen, still looking a bit green. He keeps his
distance by the doorway, with his hand covering his mouth.
“Why is it so… green?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, probably something from the breast milk.”
Together, Asher and I manage to get most of the poop off of her, so with
two fingers, I carefully begin removing the outfit, as best as I can, making
sure I don’t drop her in the process.
“Olive, I hope you know how much we love you,” Hudson tells her, as I
get off the outfit and hand it over to him.
He walks out of the room and then returns with her baby body wash,
something I forgot in the process of trying to get her hosed off.
Somehow, a damn miracle in itself, we get her completely clean, get the
shit off of every surface that we possibly can, and then I feed her a bottle.
She’s asleep, clutching my finger on my chest, when the guys pile onto the
furniture next to us. Graham sprawls on the floor while Hudson and Asher
flank each side of me.
“That was traumatizing. Not going to lie,” Graham says, staring at the
ceiling flat on his back.
“Don’t be dramatic, it was just a little poop,” I retort.
Hudson’s brows rise in shock. “If that was your definition of a little, I’d
hate to see a lot. That was an explosion. Don’t downplay what we went
through.”
I laugh, causing Olive to stir on my chest. I rub my thumb along the
smooth, baby soft skin of her cheeks, gazing down at her.
“How are things going anyway? With Maddison?” Asher asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. We’re co-parenting Olive. She’s not interested
in… rekindling things. Hell, I don’t even know how to define what that
weekend was. I just know she said she wants to keep things uncomplicated
and focus on Olive, which I respect. It’s just… I don’t know, now more than
ever, I want her. I want her even more than I did after the weekend we spent
together.”
Whipping his head toward me, Graham abruptly sits up. “The real
question is, do you want to be with Maddison? Even if there was no Olive,
sorry baby girl, would you still want to be with her?”
I don’t hesitate, or even need to think about it. I already know the
answer. “Without a doubt. All Olive did was cement my feelings toward
her. Man... it’s just, it’s amazing seeing them together. Knowing we made
this amazing little girl together. And we co-parent together so well,
everything just feels so easy. We just, I don’t know, click.”
“So, you know what you need to do…?” Graham says, sitting up on his
elbows on the threadbare carpet, “You have to make her fall in love with
you.”
He says it as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Making Maddison fall
in love with me. Like I hadn’t already thought of a million different ways to
be with her again.
“Make her fall in love with me.”
Asher nods. “No, Graham is on to something. Look, if you want to be
with Maddison, then you have to remind her what she loved about you in
the first place.”
Maybe they’re right. I can tell something is holding her back, and I
don’t want to push her too far. It’s almost like she’s skittish about things.
 Ultimately, I get it... she’s worried that things could go badly between
us and affect our co-parenting relationship, but maybe the guys are on to
something.
“You have to woo her,” Graham says simply, as if it’s just the easiest
solution in the world, and he can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself.
"Show her what she’s missing, how great you two could be together.
That’ll do it, man. Now, if we’re done talking about our feelings and
braiding each other’s hair, I’m fucking starving. Y’all wanna go to
Chipotle?”
Asher and Hudson immediately jump off the couch. “Fuck yes.”
“Send me pics of Olive-you later.” Graham throws over his shoulder as
they leave.
I’m dozing off when Maddison walks through the door. She shuts it
quietly behind her, gazing at Olive on my chest with a soft smile that makes
my stomach tighten.
“Hey,” she whispers, taking off her purse and hanging it on the hook by
the door.
“Hey, sorry, I must have fallen asleep with Olive.”
She shakes her head, smiling. “No, it’s okay. I think it’s so sweet when
she falls asleep with you.”
“How did your appointment go?”
Walking over, she sits on the other end of the couch and tucks her legs
underneath her, “Everything is... good. I’m able to resume normal
activities.”
The look I give her makes her blush under my scrutiny. “Like the gym,”
she quickly says.
“I gained a ton of weight with Olive, and I’ve been really trying to cut
back and watch what I’ve been eating, but I’m excited to be able to get back
into the gym and work on myself again. I can use the time off from school
to focus on it, since my side job is… online.”
 "You’re perfect, Maddison,” I say in complete honesty. If anything,
pregnancy has made her even sexier. Her hips flare even more, her breasts
larger, full of milk to feed our daughter. My mouth waters just thinking
about the shape of her body, and the need to feel every inch of her in my
hands.
I realize then, Graham’s right.
I’ve got to woo her. Remind her of what it was like when we were
together, and how something so beautiful came from it. Show her that
together…We just work.
The plan? Simple.
Make my baby mama fall in love with me.
 EIGHTEEN

“MADDISON?” I call out, as I unlock the door with the key she gave me
yesterday and let myself inside.
A few days ago, I sat down and brought up the conversation of her and
Olive moving in with me again. It had just been weighing on me… The
nights that I had to leave Olive; they broke my heart. I was constantly
wanting to text or call Maddison to check on her.
Reed said that’s a normal dad thing, but I also don’t want her to feel
suffocated in anyway. So… I just approached the topic with caution,
especially seeing the hesitancy in her eyes.
I get it, it’s a huge step… and we’re not even together, we’re just co-
parents for Olive.
She said she wasn’t ready, that we weren’t ready for something like that,
and I respect her opinion, but then… she offered me a key to her place and
said I was welcome anytime to see Olive. It made sense since most days I
slept on her couch anyway, so, here we are.
Taking steps, together. Building trust. Building a relationship that’s
centered around our daughter.
It made me believe that maybe there could be something more between
us. After the first night home and our discussion, I had pushed it out of my
head that we’d ever restart what we had that weekend on the lake, and the
key felt like an olive branch. Together, we’ve been so focused on being the
best parents we can to Olive, and I’ve tried to only focus on that, and not
the need to pull Maddison into my arms every time I see her. But every day
that I’m around her, it gets harder and harder, and after last night and our
discussion, I decided I’m going for it. I’ve always gone for what I want.
And I want Maddison.
I want to be with her. I want to have our family together. I'm fucking
crazy about her.
And if I don't let her know how I feel and convince her that we should
be a family, then someone else may come in and steal her and Olive from
right under my nose.
The truth is, after that weekend, I never stopped thinking about her. I
never stopped thinking about the way her eyes shined in the pale moonlight
beneath the lake or the way that she felt beneath me, soft and supple as we
created something so perfect. She was a stranger, and yet, it felt like she
knew me better than the people who surround me every day.
This is my chance to make her fall in love with me, and to show her that
we can be a family. To gain her trust, to show her that I can be an amazing
father to Olive and that the way I want her has so much more to do with the
fact that she’s also the mother of my child.
All I have to do is make Maddison fall in love with me.
Easy, right?
“In here! Getting Olive out of the bath," Maddison calls from the tiny
bathroom next to her bedroom.
I set the bottle of wine down that I picked up at the market. The same
one I’ve heard her talk about since Olive was born and how she couldn’t
wait to have it again, and I walk into the bathroom where Maddison has
Olive on the counter, wrapped in her favorite pink ducky towel with a
toothless, gummy grin on her face. Maddison’s tickling her belly, and she’s
giggling. My heart squeezes at the sight of them.
 I never knew what I was missing until Olive and Maddison came into
my life. The happiness that I feel with them is untouchable, it’s unlike
anything I’ve ever felt before.
“There’s my girl,” I coo, walking up to the counter and picking her up. I
cradle her against my chest then blow raspberries on her soft baby tummy.
She smells like a baby, like my Olive.
“Hey, I grabbed you a surprise at the market, go check it out while I get
Olive girl in her pajamas?”
Maddison looks at me with her brows furrowed at the mention of a
surprise but nods and smiles at me playfully. “I love surprises. Thank you.”
“You don’t even know what it is yet.” I laugh. Olive tugs on my earlobe,
pulling my attention back to my girl. Her cheeks are rosy, red, her eyes the
same shade of green and yellow as her mothers. Every day I think she looks
more and more like Maddison, but Maddison thinks she’s the spitting image
of me.
Either way, she’s the most beautiful girl there is.
Now that the hockey season is over, I’m able to be here for my favorite
time of the day. Bath time. Olive and I have a routine each night. I make
sure to brush her hair with the baby brush, put on her lavender and
chamomile lotion, before I put on whatever pajamas Maddison has laid out
for her.
It’s our time.
Generally, Maddison cleans up dinner, or heads to the gym, if she’s
ordered in for the night, so it’s just Olive and me.
Then, I pick out a book from her bookshelf and read it to her, even if
she has no idea what I’m saying, it’s still our time, and I look forward to it
every day.
After she’s bundled in my arms with her favorite pink blanket, I read
her the story of three little pigs then when her eyelids get droopy, and she
begins to doze, Maddison takes her out of her arms and feeds her, then I
burp her so her tummy won’t hurt for bed.
Lifting her carefully onto my shoulder, I pat her back gently, all while
lightly bouncing from one foot to the other. The motion is supposed to help
with babies passing gas, or at least that’s what the baby book I’m reading
says.
Real men read baby books, so they know what the hell they’re doing,
and I will die on that hill. I’d rather be overprepared than underprepared.
“Come on Olive girl, give Daddy a good burp. Just a little tiny burp.
One? Just one? What if I let you watch Cocomelon when your mama isn’t
here, then can I get a burp?”
Jesus Christ Briggs, you’re bargaining with a baby who can’t even
speak yet. Apparently, my light bribing has the opposite effect because, a
second later, Olive is vomiting all down the back of my shirt.
Sticky and smelly, I fight the urge to vomit. I can feel it seeping through
the thin fabric of my t-shirt.
“Oh Olive, sweet girl! Oh my God, Briggs…. your shirt,” Madison
shrieks, taking Olive out of my arms. “Just take it off and, and I’ll throw it
in the wash so it doesn’t get ruined.” She says it over her shoulder as she
carries Olive into her room to change and wipe her down. She’s only gone
for a few minutes, and when she walks back into the living room, I’m
clutching my baby-puke-soaked shirt in my hand.
She looks startled as her eyes drag down my body, like she hasn’t seen
it before. Her eyes trail down the expanse of my chest and lower, until I
clear my throat, plastering a grin on my lips.
Busted.
Swallowing thickly, she then clears her throat nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll
just put it in the wash.”
Not gonna lie, seeing her so flustered causes satisfaction to bloom in my
chest. Her cheeks are flushed red as she grabs my shirt from my hand and
runs to the laundry room.
Maddison can pretend as much as she wants, but I know she’s just as
affected by me as I am her.
When she returns, she smiles shyly, still stumbling over her words
slightly. “I put it on a quick wash, so it should only take a few minutes. Uh,
sorry about that.”
“Don’t apologize, I’m not even worried about the shirt. Is it okay if I
take a quick shower though?”
She nods. “Yes, of course. Here, let me show you this handle, it’s
tricky.”
I follow closely behind her as she leads me into the tiny bathroom. It’s
small, even for her, but with my height and the two of us in there, it seems
to shrink even further in size.
I shut the door behind us to give us more room, and when I do,
Maddison’s eyes widen.
“Just freeing up some space.”
“Yeah, and we don’t want to wake up Olive…. she passed right out after
I cleaned her up.”
“Of course.”
Standing on her tiptoes, she reaches around me to turn the knob on the
shower, brushing against my chest in the process. She fumbles with the
knob, unable to get the water out, and lets out a frustrated sigh. The
bathroom is so small, I have nowhere to go, but press further back against
the towel rack.
“Sorry, this handle is broken, and there’s a certain way you have to
jiggle it… just like this.” Using all her strength, she pushes hard against the
handle and it gives way, falling to the floor of the shower, causing her to fall
off-balance and topple forward. Reaching out for something to steady her,
her hands connect with my shoulders, and then we’re both falling before I
can grab the wall to stop us.
 We topple into the shower in a heap on the floor, much like the very
first time we met, and as luck would have it, the shower turns on, soaking
us both completely. The too cold water sprays until we’re both sputtering
and drenched.
Maddison lifts her head from my chest, water falling in rivets down her
face, and then she laughs.
She laughs so hard her entire body shakes, and it does nothing for my
hardening cock beneath her. My hands are gripping her waist tightly, trying
to hold her in place, to no avail.
“I’m so sorrrr-rr-y.” She giggles, unable to contain her laughter. “This
damn shower. Are you hurt? God, I’m so clum-”
She doesn’t get another word out, because my hands are sliding gently
up her jaw, into the wet, tangled hair at her nape, and yanking her toward
me. I silence her with my lips and kiss her, firm and demanding. Sliding my
tongue inside her mouth, I kiss her hard and yet so fucking sweet, to make
up for all of the nights I dreamed of her. The countless days I spent looking
for the girl who blew in like a storm and changed my life that weekend.
When her tongue swirls in my mouth and I devour her delicate whimper, I
grip the back of her neck to hold her in place as I swallow all of her
protests. I make up for every fucking day that I thought about her while I
had no idea she was pregnant with our baby.
I want, for one fucking moment, for her not to think of what the
consequences could be, or what we could mess up in the process, and to just
feel. Feel what I feel every damn day for her.
Her hips move against mine as my cock grinds against her center, her
hands trailing up my slick, wet chest to rub along the five o’clock shadow
on my chin, then she abruptly pulls back, ripping her lips from mine.
“Oh god,” she mutters, then scrambles off of me, almost slipping on the
wet floor of the shower.
“Hey, be careful,” I say, reaching out to steady her.
 Once she gets out of the shower, and her feet are planted firmly on the
bathroom floor, she screeches at me, “What are you doing? Why did you
just kiss me, Briggs!'' Her voice is a low, hushed hiss, and I can see she’s
worked up.
Fuck it, it was worth it.
“Because I wanted to, and so did you.”
I say it simply, because it’s the truth, and I don’t like wasting time on
things that aren’t the truth.
She throws her hands up. “Oh, because you wanted to? I thought we
agreed not to do this? That we were going to focus on co-parenting Olive,
and that we didn’t want to be together.”
That has me stepping out from under the freezing spray and stalking
toward her until her back hits the wall of the bathroom, and my hands are
up above her head. I’m dripping wet, and so is she.
“Let me make one thing very clear, Maddison. I want you. I will always
fucking want you. I’ve wanted you every single goddamn day since you
walked out of my life, and even more since the day you walked back in it.”
I can feel the soft pants of her breath against my lips as she sucks in air.
Her eyes are wide, her hands fisted against the wall, like she’s trying
desperately not to touch me.
“Just because I agreed to focus on co-parenting Olive, doesn’t mean that
I don’t want you. Want this. Want my fucking family.”
“But-” I silence her by dropping my lips against hers once more. This
kiss, still rough and demanding, does exactly its job.
“Was I clear?”
She pulls back and looks up at me, her gold-flecked irises full of
emotion. Crossing her arms over her chest, she nods. “Crystal.” Then stalks
out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
The cold shower that followed was exactly what I needed, in more ways
than one.
 NINETEEN

“SO… he just kissed you? Just like that?” Tyler gasps through the speaker of
the phone. His voice has risen an octave since I began telling him what
happened with Briggs.
“Yes, just like that. God, Ty, what do I do? This is a literal disaster.”
It’s been three days, and I haven’t stopped thinking about the kiss. Or
Briggs. Or Briggs kissing me while naked, and wet in the sho-
“Mads!”
Tyler’s voice brings me out of my daydream and back to the present,
and I groan. Jesus, this is getting out of hand. One kiss, and now suddenly
I’m losing my mind and daydreaming like a lovesick teenager.
“Sorry, what?”
“You were so thinking about him, weren’t you?” I can practically see
the smirk on Ty’s face through the phone by the tone of his voice. He is
loving this.
“No, I was thinking about changing Olive’s diaper. Wanna come
volunteer?”
“Pfft. I’ve been waiting for Uncle day. You’re being an Olive hog.”
Speaking of Olive, she babbles on her tummy on her playmat on the
floor. She’s doing so great holding up her head, and with her hand and eye
coordination. It’s bittersweet how quickly she’s growing.
 “Mommy’s sweet girl. I am so proud of you,” I coo, rising from the
floor, then flopping down onto the couch, face-first, next to her.
Dramatic, I know. But this situation calls for theatrics.
My baby daddy is determined to kill me. Literally. After our tumble in
the shower, go figure me being a klutz, right, he’s kept things strictly
platonic and put the ball in my court.

And I didn’t expect to… want more. After that day. It’s like I was so busy
being Olive’s mom that I had buried my feelings inside of me to protect
myself and Olive…. And Briggs. Unintentionally, things I did hurt him, and
when I tell him… he’ll hate me. How will he ever forgive me when he
holds so much anger and resentment for the media and for all those who
betrayed him? The people who were supposed to love him.

There’s an internal war raging on inside of me, with my heart saying one
thing and my head saying another. At this point, who knows what’s right.
“It was the best kiss of my life, even better than before, I think, and
now... I can’t stop thinking about it.” I let out a ragged sigh that’s partially
smothered by the pillow I’m face down in.
"Are you afraid because you think that he’ll no longer want you, or
because of Olive?” Tyler asks quietly.
The truth? Both. I’m terrified about damaging the relationship we’ve
established while co-parenting Olive because it’s been so easy, and so…
compatible on all fronts. I never want our romantic relationship to come
between his relationship with Olive. He’s an amazing dad.
It’s only one of the reasons I asked to keep things strictly Olive. I knew
from prior experience that my heart is defenseless from Briggs Wilson. I
fell like putty that night, even though I knew I should’ve stayed away.
 And the fact that when I tell him, he’ll hate me for it.
“I’m afraid that being honest will cause him to leave and I don't want
that Ty, I want him here.… I want him with Olive and me. And what if we
date and then break up and we can't stand the sight of each other? I've seen
with colleagues and friends, where co-parenting has been damaged because
of a relationship. I just… I have to tell him Ty, I can’t continue to keep this
from him, not when things are changing, into more,” I whisper, like he’s
standing in the other room and could overhear it.
“Listen, babe, no one can tell you what to do in this situation, you have
to do what you feel in your heart. It seems like you’ve already decided that
you have to tell him because it’s what you feel is right. It’s okay to be
scared but stay true to who you are. Think about the end game, and what
will happen with what you choose.”
“I am scared, Ty. I never expected for things to get so...tangled, and out
of hand. I feel like no matter which way I go, I’ll hurt him. Either decision
that I choose.”
“Look, I’m not saying that you should commit to anything right at this
moment. I’m just saying… think about the future. Think about what you
need to do to make the situation right for both of you. I love you, Madds."
Sighing, I flip onto my back and glance at Olive, who’s still babbling on
her mat. “I love you, too, Ty. Thanks for the advice. Have a good day at
work, we’ll get dinner this weekend, kay?”
“You bet. Give Olive a kiss for me. Love you!”
“Love you.”
We disconnect, and I feel even more confused than before. For the rest
of the night, I weigh the options in my head, until there’s a knock at the
door, and inevitably, the scales tip in favor of my heart.
When I swing open the front door, Briggs is standing on the other side,
wearing a dark charcoal button-down, with a black sport coat and dark
slacks. The color of his shirt makes his grey, steely eyes seem even more
striking. So much depth, that staring into them, you seem to drown in him.
“Hi,” I whisper, unsure of how to act around him after the other night.
“Hi. I was in the area, so I thought I would drop by with takeout and see
my girl.” He holds up the paper bag in his hand with the logo of my favorite
Italian place on the side, along with a bottle of my most favorite wine.
My insides immediately turn to mush.
“Ruffino’s?” I exclaim. “Oh god, I haven’t had it since I was pregnant
with Olive. How did you know it was my favorite? Oh, come in, sorry,
come in.”
He shrugs. “Lucky guess. I’ll play with Olive if you want to sit and
have a glass of wine.”
Walking through the front door, he strolls over to the kitchen table, sets
the wine and takeout down before squatting down to gather Olive into his
arms. There’s something ridiculously sexy about a man in a suit, holding a
tiny baby girl. Even sexier when he tickles her belly and tells her how she’s
his favorite girl.
“Briggs, I can put her to sleep, really, you went out of your way to come
here and bring us dinner.”
“Sit.”
Momentarily, his command takes me by surprise, but then a new feeling
blossoms inside. Desire.
One word. That’s all it takes to have me aching.
Daddy Briggs is one thing but… Alpha Daddy Briggs?
Oh god, I never stood a chance.
“You’re exhausted. Drink a glass of wine and relax.”
“Uhm,” murmuring, I clear my throat and avert my gaze. I can still feel
his eyes on me as I turn toward the kitchen. “Okay. Thank you.” I walk over
to the cabinet where I have the wine glasses, then pull my favorite out. I use
the corkscrew to uncork the wine and pour a generous glass, all while
listening to Briggs with Olive on the living room floor.
“You’re dressed up, did you have something important tonight?” I ask.
Glancing up, my gaze connects with Briggs’, and he nods, a proud smile
spreading his lips. “I coach a youth hockey team, The Mighty Pucks, and
tonight, we had our awards banquet.” He reaches into the pocket of his
slacks then pulls out his phone and flips it around to show me.
It’s a photo of a group of kids with Briggs, all holding up trophies with
lopsided grins. What stands out the most? The smile on Briggs’ face. You
can tell how proud he is of them.
“Wow, they look like a great group of kids.”
He slides his phone back into his pocket and nods. “They’re great kids.
I... uh, I used to get into a bit of trouble with the team, after the stuff that
happened a few years ago.”
His brother.
He didn’t need to say it out loud for me to remember the pain that was
etched into his words as he told me what happened.
I simply nod, and bring the wine glass up to my lips, taking a hefty sip.
The sweet, tangy liquid tastes like heaven, and helps bite back the feeling of
guilt.
"Anyway, I started coaching them because of a requirement from my
coach, but honestly… those kids saved me. I owed it to them to stick
around. I’ve been telling them about Olive for weeks now.” He glances
down at Olive, who’s now fast asleep in his arms, and he smiles. A sweet,
smile that’s reserved just for his baby girl.
“That’s really sweet of you, Briggs. To spend your free time coaching.”
I knew this because I reported on it, not that it got as many likes as
something more scandalous that he did, but guilt eats at me as he tells me
about his night. It makes me feel terrible, and even more afraid to tell him.
I’m being a coward.
 “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, other than here, of course. With
both of you.” His gaze meets mine, and his eyes seem to darken slightly. He
doesn’t have to say it for me to understand the meaning behind his words.
“Should we talk? About what happened the other night?”
I find it extremely distracting to even think about anything other than
Briggs standing in front of me in that tight, fitted button-down. He’s
entirely too attractive for his own good. Another reason that I should protect
my heart and stay away. I know the kind of man he is, or at least the way
that the media portrays him.
“We should, but before we have that conversation, you should know
that I meant every single word that I said the other night, and even if you
don’t want the same thing, it’s not gonna change anything for me.”
“Can you put Olive down in her crib, then we can talk?”
Briggs nods and continues to rock Olive gently in his arms. I watch as
he walks her to our shared bedroom, then his tall frame disappears inside.
I think I’m going to need another glass of wine for this conversation.
While he’s putting Olive to bed, I set the table and unbox the takeout, then
take a seat and sip on my wine…slowly, until he joins me in the kitchen
sans the sports coat, with the sleeves of his button-down rolled up,
showcasing the thick, veiny forearms that would make any woman’s mouth
water.
“I figured we could eat while we, uh, discuss everything, if that’s okay
with you?”
“I’m fine with whatever. I am actually starving; I haven’t eaten since
around lunch.”
Gesturing to the food, I sweep my hand across. “Let’s eat.”
Together, we share a meal, and for the first time in a long time, there’s
something heavy hanging in the air. I poke at the stuffed meatballs on my
plate, gathering courage, then I look up at Briggs.
 His jaw is strong and chiseled, much like his sharp cheekbones that hold
the piercing steel eyes that catch my own.
“You can’t just... kiss me like that.” I mumble.
“Like what?”
I open my mouth to speak, then close it because this man… he knows
exactly like what. “Like... that.”
The corners of his lips turn up into a grin, a smug one at that. “Like…
what Maddison?”
He’s enjoying this entirely too much. My cheeks heat under his gaze, so
much that I can feel the flush creeping down my neck.
“Like you did. We shouldn't do this, Briggs. It doesn’t matter what we
want, not at the end of the day. What matters is Olive.”
He sets his fork down and uses the linen napkin to wipe his mouth
before scooting his chair out and putting his napkin onto his mostly-empty
plate. Saying nothing, he closes the distance between us.
"Come here,” he says hoarsely, circling his large hand on my wrist.
Maybe it’s the raw desire in his eyes, or the commanding tone that’s hoarse
and raspy that causes me to let my fork clatter against the plate and my
chair to scrape against the cheap tile as I stand slowly, facing him.
Briggs pulls me toward him gently, until I collide with his hard body,
then he slides his hands up my jaw delicately, as if I’ll shatter beneath his
touch. It disarms me in ways I wasn’t expecting. I can feel my resolve
lessening each second his hands are on me.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
I swallow down the thick lump of emotion that’s unexpectedly formed
in my throat.
“I’m showing you. I could stand here all day, until I’m blue in the face,
and tell you how I feel. Doesn’t matter, Mads. I have to show you.”
His words cause my stomach to dip and tighten. I know that I should
untangle myself from him and take a step back to protect my heart, but my
feet seem to be planted in place on their own accord. His touch feels…
forbidden, after everything we’ve been through, yet part of me revels in it.
“Tell me a good reason right now that we shouldn’t at least try, Mads,
this.” He drags his thumb along the hollow of my cheekbone in a gentle
swipe, his eyes locked on mine, our breath mingled as we breathe each
other in. “Olive? Is she the reason why? Because if anything, Maddison, our
daughter has only strengthened what I feel for you. I want this. I want our
family.”
God, his words make my insides melt into a puddle as his words seep
into my heart.
“I don’t know if I can, Briggs.”
My voice is a mere whisper, as emotion overtakes me. The
overpowering need to not only protect my heart, but to protect his.
Each day that passes, the guilt inside me festers like a sickness,
knowing that I am responsible for some of the pain that lives inside of him.
I’m the reason the world sees him as a villain, when in truth...he’s just a
broken man who’s been hurt by everyone who was supposed to love him.
Those headlines were me.
Those articles were me.
Even though I didn’t know it at the time, I’m the reason he feels like he
has to repent for all of the things he’s done while hurting, and it guts me
each and every time I think about it.
This, whatever this is between us, is doomed, and it has been since the
day I left him at the Brickside with a half-broken heart and more guilt than I
had ever known. What I thought would be a weekend fling was so much
more, even before I found out about Olive. He’ll see it as me betraying him.
How can he forgive me for this if he’s never forgiven his family for
betraying him?
Telling him will be what drives him out of my life, and I don’t know
how to bear that. Not when I was already falling…
 “I will never hurt you, Maddison. I would rather throw myself off the
tallest building in Chicago than ever hurt you or Olive. All I’m asking for is
a chance. One chance to show you that we could be happy. The happiest
fucking family there ever was. I’d do anything to make the two of you
happy. Anything, Mads.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as he speaks, until his hand slides down and he
tips my chin up toward him. His dark eyes seem to hold a storm tonight.
“One chance, Mads. That’s all I need to show you. Let me in, baby,
please.”
“What if we mess it all up? What if I agree and this comes in between
your relationship with our daughter? She’s the most important thing in my
life, Briggs, I don’t ever want to be the reason she is hurt. I mean… Briggs,
even still, there’s so many things we don’t know about each other.”
He shakes his head, his jaw clenching. “Well, we can date. We can get
to know each other. All I know is that I want you, and no matter what
happens, Olive will always be our number one priority. Nothing will ever
change that. I just want a chance for our family to be together. I’m fucking
crazy about you.”
"I- I… I just need time to think about it. Can you give me a few days,
please?”
Nodding, his thumb absentmindedly strokes across my cheeks before he
lets go and takes a step back. “Take all the time you need, Mads. Just
please, don’t shut me out. Give me the chance to give you both the world.”
He leans down and places a lingering kiss against my cheek before he takes
his jacket off the back of the chair and shrugs it on.
“Call me, when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.”
Without another word, he walks out the front door, leaving my heart and
head more at war than ever before.
 TWENTY

IT’S BEEN an entire day since I walked out of Maddison’s apartment,

leaving our future in her hands. An entire day that I haven’t been able to
stop obsessing over what her decision would be. An entire day my stomach
has been in knots, so when Reed called and asked me to meet him and the
guys at the rink, I jumped.
I needed to get out of my house and to stop checking my phone every
five fucking minutes, willing it to ring.
The plan was to keep myself busy, not that I was accomplishing it very
well since all I could think about is my girls.
“Man, she’s beautiful, Wilson. She definitely has your nose.” Bart, the
Avalanches equipment manager, says as he glances at the photo of Olive on
my phone. I couldn’t help it, everywhere I went, I wanted to show her off to
the world, except I couldn’t because of the media. The second they get wind
of Olive; it’ll be plastered on every national news outlet there is and the last
thing I want is to expose her or Maddison. I’m worried they’ll take all of
the good that is Maddison and I and taint it somehow, convey her in a way
that is less than what she is and all I want to do is hold the both of them
close and protect them, always. That’s why I told her, first and foremost,
how important it was to keep them to myself, because I won’t stand by and
watch something happen to them. I want any announcement we make to be
on our terms.
I’m surprised The Puck Bunny hasn’t already found out and plastered it
on their homepage. She has a habit of taking whatever she can about me
and fucking running with it. Even though I’ve done everything I can to keep
off her radar, especially now.
“Thank you. I love that little girl more than I’ve ever loved anything.
She’s my world.”
Clapping me on the back he laughs. “That’s exactly how it happens too.
Suddenly, this little one comes into your life and takes everything you
thought you knew and flips it on its ass.”
I nod and glance down at the photo of Olive. He’s right. My life was…
empty before her, and I didn’t even know it until I saw her for the first time.
Her ruddy cheeks paired with her toothless, lopsided grin remind me so
much of her mama. My heart dips. It’s only been a day since I’ve seen her,
and it feels too damn long. I miss her. It’s not that Maddison wouldn’t let
me see Olive; I just want to give her space to make a decision.
Reed and Graham skate up just as I’m locking my phone and setting it
back on the bench.
“Good shot, Davis. I wasn’t sure you were going to get it past me, you
know with your old age.” Graham smirks, hitting Reed’s stick with his,
which earns him a look from Reed.
“Talking a lot of shit for a first-year rookie, Adams. Don’t let your ass
overload your mouth.”
“Might be a rookie, but my stats are better than yours so…” Graham
trails off, shrugging.
“Both of you shut up,” I bark in annoyance. Normally, they don’t bother
me with their bickering, but I’m in a foul mood after leaving Maddison.
Reed and Graham both look at me. Reed’s dark, thick eyebrows are
raised, and Graham looks apprehensive.
 “What?” I grunt. Both of their gazes feel more like they’re silently
judging me.
“You’re extra broody today, any specific reason?” Reed quips. Running
a hand down his face, he wipes away the sweat that drips from his shaggy
hair.
Even though they’re my best friends, I still have trouble telling people
about the shit in my life. I’ve spent so long keeping everything bottled up
and trying not to put my shit on anyone else, it’s a habit I’m trying to break.
Little by little.
“I haven’t seen Maddison or Olive since yesterday.”
“How is my Olive-you? I picked her up this hella cute shirt the other
day when I went to Vegas. It says, “Baby Roller.” Get it. High roller?”
“Yeah, I got it, Graham.”
“So what’s going on? You two have a fight or something?” Reed asks,
falling onto the bench next to me.
I shake my head. “No, no, nothing like that. I laid it out for her, Reed. I
told her how I felt and she said she had to think about what it meant for us.
Fuck, I think I’m just terrified to lose her and Olive.”
Reed looks at me for a moment then laughs and shakes his head. “Man,
even the mightiest fall, huh? I never thought I’d see the day that you fell in
love.”
“I’m not in love with Maddison.”
Graham scoffs. “Get real, dude. She’s got your balls in Olive’s diaper
bag.”
“Look, this is exactly how I felt when I put it all out there for Holland. I
went an entire week, thinking I’d just lost the first girl I’d ever loved, and it
all worked out for the best. You’ve got a habit of thinking the worst from
everyone around you… you know, considering…”
He’s talking about Beau, and he’s not wrong. I’ve conditioned myself to
expect the worst, and then I’ll never be let down at the outcome, but even
thinking about losing Maddison or Olive causes my chest to tighten.
“Briggs, you deserve to be loved. I don’t know why you’ve convinced
yourself otherwise. That because you had a rough go, and you did some
fucking up, that you aren’t worthy of good.” He holds my gaze before
continuing, “Give her a chance. Believe in her the way that you do about
how you feel about her.”
“This is about to make me fucking cry. Real shit.” Graham sniffs.
“What? Stop looking at me like that. Real men are in touch with their
emotions.”
“Shut up, Graham,” Reed grunts, tossing his glove at Graham’s face,
where it hits him in the nose, then he turns back toward me. “She asked for
time, give it to her. But even if it’s not the answer you hoped for, if you love
her… which you do, then don’t give up on her.”
I nod. “I wouldn’t, but I don’t even know how to love, Reed. The only
love I’ve ever known is the fucked-up, betraying kind. Even if Maddison
does give me a chance, what if she’s right, and we fuck it up?”
This time, he shrugs and pulls his gaze back to the ice in front of us.
“There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for Holland or Evan. Nothing.
I’d sacrifice every penny I ever earned, my career, you name it, I’d do it.
That’s what love is. It’s not cut and dry, Briggs, it’s never black and white.
You learn from all the things that you fuck up. Hell, I may never have it
right, but if my girl goes to sleep at night knowing that I’d sacrifice
anything in the world for her, then I’m happy. Then I’m doing something
right.”
“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Wilson, don’t worry. She gets the
same look on her face when you’re around.” Graham interjects, “I’m
headed to find Asher and Huds, I wanna see if they want to hit the bar up
tonight. You two down?”
Reed shakes his head. “Nah, I got a date with my girl tonight.”
 “Not me, I’ve got some shit to take care of. I’m down next time,
though.”
Graham nods. “Let me know when you go back to see Olive-you. I’m
coming, so I can give her, her presents Uncle Graham got her.”
“Will do.”
He skates off, and Reed stands. “I’m gonna shower and head home.
Hopefully I get some alone time with Holland before I fucking die.”
I smirk. Reed’s so fucking obsessed with Holland, it’s kinda sickening,
then I remember that I feel the same damn way about Maddison, and I
probably shouldn’t say shit.
“Call ya later.” He claps me on the back before leaving me alone, on the
bench, with my thoughts.
I only get a few uninterrupted moments of silence before my phone
rings. I jump to grab it from the bench, only to see my mother’s name on
the screen. I groan.
Fuck.
If I ignore it, she’ll show up at the house, and that’s the last shit I need
right now.
Swiping the screen, I answer, “Hi Mom.”
“Hi sweetheart. Just checking in with you, how are you?”
Guilt immediately snakes up my spine. My parents don’t even know
they’re grandparents, and I I’m not ready to tell them. Her voice usually
brings me comfort, but it only causes my stomach to twist. I feel like an
asshole hiding Olive from her.
“Uh, I’m good, Mom. I’m actually at the rink right now, so I can’t talk
for long. How are you?”
There’s a brief pause. “Oh, you know, same old. Your father spends
most of his time working in his shop and with Beau…” she trails off, “I’m
sorry, sweetie.”
“Don’t apologize, Mom.”
 “I just worry about you, honey, and I feel like I never get to see you
anymore and….”
She babbles on, but my focus is gone when my phone chimes with a
notification, and I glance down and see it’s a text from Maddison.
Fuck, I’m nervous. My fingers hover over the message as my mom calls
my name.
“Briggs?”
“Sorry, Mom, I’ve got a call coming through, can I call you back later?”
It’s impossible not to hear the disappointment in her sigh. “Sure, honey.
I love you, you know that? Always. Please, call me soon.”
“Will do, Mom. I love you, too.”
We end the call, and I open the text from Maddison.
Maddison: Dinner? Tonight? Seven. I’m making lasagna and I
think we should talk…
I quickly respond.
Briggs: See you then.
I guess tonight’s the moment of truth.
 TWENTY ONE

I’M SO nervous that my hands are clammy. I wipe my sweaty palms against
my jeans and force myself to take a deep breath.
For God’s sake Maddison, you’ve had a weekend of hot, sweaty,
incredibly great sex with the man then had his child. This is nothing. It’s just
dinner.
Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, but I know that it’s much
more than that. I took an entire day to obsess over the decision I had already
made when he professed his feelings to me in my kitchen.
I just needed to be sure.
And I am. I want Briggs Wilson, and I have since the moment he
walked into my grandparents’ inn. That weekend was one of the most
memorable of my life, and seeing him be an amazing, patient, doting father
to our baby girl? Well… it makes my heart soften every time I see them
together.
Tonight, I’m going to tell him and that’s why my stomach feels like it’s
wrapped in ten different intricately woven knots. I feel like I’m going to
puke as I pull the homemade lasagna out of the oven and set it down on the
cooling rack. This apartment is the size of a shoebox, so making complex
meals like this is a stressor in itself.
 “Shit,” I curse, when I see the edges are slightly charred from leaving it
in the oven slightly too long. Of course, everything under the sun has gone
wrong since I texted Briggs and asked him over for dinner tonight. Starting
with the fact that while I was preparing the lasagna, I went a little past my
normal pump time, and soon, my sweater that I spent an hour picking out
had two round wet spots.
My phone begins to ring as my alarm sounds.
Fifteen minutes. Okay, I’ve got to put the bread in the oven, and then
we’re ready.
“Are you ready to see your daddy, Olive girl?” I ask.
She looks at me with wide green eyes and grins while she sloppily
chews on her fists. Her favorite. I even arranged with Ty and Kyle to have
an uncle date this evening to give Briggs and me plenty of time to discuss
things.
Five minutes after I put the garlic bread in the oven, there’s a knock at
my door. I swing it open, knowing it’s probably Ty and Kyle on the other
side and screech, “Thank God!”
Except, it’s not Ty and Kyle, it’s Briggs, wearing a smirk. He looks so
handsome dressed in dark jeans and a button-down shirt with the sleeves
pushed up to his elbows. He’s leaning against the doorframe casually.
I swallow thickly. It is truly unfair to all women for a man to be this
attractive. I think I’ve forgotten how to speak.
“I’m glad you’re excited about my arrival, Mads.”
“I- I-,” I stutter, causing his grin to widen, compounding my
nervousness, “I thought you were Ty. He and Kyle are picking up Olive in a
few minutes for the evening.”
His eyes light up, a stark contrast to the dark color of his sweater at the
mention of Olive. “Good, that gives me a few minutes to spend with her.”
Thankfully, I somehow remember how to speak again, and I clear my
throat then swing my front door open. “Come in. Sorry.”
 He strolls through the doorway but pauses once he’s inside and turns
toward me. “You seem nervous, Mads, you good?”
My heart pounds roughly against my ribs as he invades my space, until
he’s standing directly in front of me with the corners of his lips turned up in
a small smile that does nothing to stop my already racing pulse.
God, he’s gorgeous. His strong, sharp jaw that always makes me
reminisce about the night I traced it with my tongue, tasting the salty tang
of his skin.
I shiver at the thought, and his hands slide around my waist. “I need
your answer, Maddison. I’m a patient man, but I can’t wait to touch you
again.”
With that, he lets me go and strides over to Olive’s Bumbo and picks
her up, leaving me in a puddle on the floor.
How he is able to evoke such a response from me with only a few
simple words and the lightest of touch, I’ll never understand.
I join them in the kitchen and watch as he cradles Olive in his arms. My
heart can’t take it, it is completely defenseless.
“Hi, my beautiful baby girl. Daddy missed you so much, did you miss
me?” Her chubby little hands grasp at the shadow of hair on his jaw, and
she babbles happily as he spins her around in a circle and laughs as she
giggles.
Another knock has me pausing and heading back towards the door. I
swing it open and Ty and Kyle are finally on the other side. Just seeing
them helps calm my nerves slightly.
“Hi Boo!” Ty breezes past me in search of Olive, and Kyle just laughs
as he shakes his head and gives me a tight hug.
“Hi beautiful, ready for tonight?” he whispers in my ear. I nod into his
embrace, and when he lets go, he pushes some hair from my face just as
Briggs walks up behind us.
 Clearing my throat, I introduce them. “Uh, Kyle, Ty… this is Briggs,
my...”
“Baby daddy.” He grins, extending his hand for Kyle to shake now that
Ty has whisked Olive away.
I laugh nervously. “Okay, glad that you guys are introduced. Uh Ty, can
I talk to you super quick in my bedroom? I just need to grab Olive’s bag.”
“Is there anything I can do for dinner, Mads?” Briggs asks before we
walk away.
“Mads?” Ty’s eyebrows rise as he shoots me a look.
“If you could open the wine? That would be great.”
Briggs nods, then Ty and I walk into my bedroom. I shut the door, then
drop my head back against it.
“Shit. Shit. Shit, Ty, I can’t do this. I feel like I’m going on a first date
again. I haven’t done this since like… I don’t know, forever. And I’m going
to tell him tonight. I’m going to tell him everything.”
Ty rolls his eyes and sets Olive down on the bed, then walks over and
takes my face in his hands. “It’s going to be okay, babe. You’re following
your heart, and you’re doing the right thing. I think once you tell him,
everything will be fine. He is crazy about you too, I can see it just now, and
I don't think that's going to change. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”
I hope he’s right, but even his pep talk doesn’t seem to calm the flurry
of butterflies that won't settle in my stomach.
I suck in a deep breath and exhale, all while Ty holds onto me and
grounds me. Being friends your entire life does that for you. He helps me
see clearly when my head is muddled.
“Kyle and I are going to go play with Olive at home, and I’ll have my
phone right by me if you want to check in on her or talk. Okay?
“Okay. Got it. Her bag is right over here.” His hands fall away, and I
walk over to her newly packed diaper bag that I may have gone a bit
overboard with, but it has all of the essentials. “I’ve packed three bottles,
even though she probably will only take two, but just in case. If you need
me, I’m a call away.”
He nods, then drops a quick kiss against my cheek and picks up Olive
from the bed. “Got it. We’re good, be back later, love you, bye.”
I barely have time to give Olive a kiss before he’s out the door, and I’m
alone.
Less nervous than before, but still feeling like I’m going to be sick at
any moment.
Everything, and I do mean everything, changes when you have a baby.
Not only have I only spent one weekend with Briggs, but he saw me pre-
Olive… pre-pregnancy body. He has no idea what he’s in store for, and I’m
sure the moment he sees me, he’ll run the other way. My body is marred
with stretch marks, my boobs are more saggy since breastfeeding, and the
skin of my stomach is slightly droopy, after stretching while I was pregnant.
I groan.
Everything is going to be fine, Maddison. Chill. Taking one more peek
in the floor-length mirror behind the door, I smooth my sweater down, and
fix any fly-away hairs, then walk back out of my bedroom into the kitchen,
where Briggs is leaning against the counter, scrolling on his phone.
When I walk through the doorway, he glances up, his eyes traveling
down my body before holding my eyes again.
“Ready to eat?” My words come out in a squeak, and he laughs, low
and raspy.
“Yes, whenever you are. I poured you some wine.”
“Thank you.”
I make his plate, then mine, and we sit across from each other at the
table. Briggs immediately digs in, not once bringing up the real reason I
asked him over for dinner.
“Christ, this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” He groans around his fork
full of lasagna. “Well... almost.”
 His eyes twinkle with innuendo, and I feel myself blushing under his
gaze.
“Thank you. It’s my nana’s recipe. I think it’s been passed down for
three generations now. Honestly, I love to cook, and I don’t get to often
enough because of work, and this tiny kitchen.”
“It’s amazing.”
I take a large gulp of my wine, hoping that it will take some of the edge
off, and before I know it, my glass is empty, and I’m feeling slightly more
loose. Before I lose my courage, I speak, trying not to even think about it.
“I’d like to try things… slowly.”
Briggs looks up, catching my eyes, and the corner of his mouth tugs up
slowly. He sets his fork down quietly, before clasping his hands together
under his chin. “Gonna need you to elaborate, Mads.”
My cheeks burn as I swallow down my nerves. “This. Us. Together.
You’re right. I want to give it a chance. I just think we should probably take
things slowly. Get to know each other better, since we only spent a weekend
together when Olive was conceived.”
“An amazing weekend,” he says.
It was, which is part of the reason I am open to exploring whatever it
was that sparked between us.
I nod. “It was. What you said the other day... about not being able to
forget about it? I couldn’t either. Even during my pregnancy and after what
happened… I didn’t. Even though I should’ve at the time.”
Reaching out, he gently takes my hand in his. His palm is warm, and
considerably less clammy than mine, and for the first time tonight, I feel my
nerves easing.
“I will never hurt you or Olive, Maddison, and I’ll prove that to you, if
you let me, every day, baby.”
Baby.
 I clear my throat, trying to keep my emotions from spilling out, I take
another bite of lasagna, while Briggs pours me another glass of wine.
After dinner, he clears the table and puts everything in the dishwasher. I
tried to help, but he insisted I enjoy my wine since I cooked. Three glasses
in, and now I’m wondering what I was so nervous about in the first place.
I’m leaning against the doorframe, my head resting on the wood as I
watch him clean up. Maybe it’s the wine, after not being able to have any,
or maybe it’s just because that’s who Briggs is… he’s intoxicating. Raw
masculinity, and I’m learning that under all of his exterior, he’s thoughtful
and intentional.
The opposite of the man he used to be, or at least that’s the way it
seems. More disciplined.
“I can feel your eyes on me from all the way over here,” he says
hoarsely. When he turns around and our eyes lock, I feel it in my core.
“Just observing.”
Tossing the dishrag down on the counter, he walks toward me. Slowly.
Until he’s right in front of me. So close I can smell the clean, woodsy scent
of his body wash, and my breath quickens.
“Hmm. Wanna share those observations, Mads?”
I shake my head, bringing the wine glass back to my lips, enjoying this
entirely too much for just having said I wanted to take things slowly. Briggs
places his hands on each side of the doorframe behind me then leans in, not
touching me, but close enough that I can inhale and feel him.
He has a way of calming me, the way the quiet eye of a hurricane would
pass through even during the most chaotic of storms, yet somehow, only
moments later, he has my heart racing in a way I haven’t felt since the night
I spent in his arms.
“How about you tell me why you were so nervous earlier?”
I scoff quietly. “Me? Nervous? Never.”
 Briggs smirks and, instead of answering, I drain the last sip of my wine
and press the glass against his chest teasingly. The wine has my blood
buzzing, and I feel more confident. Less nervous. More like the old me.
“It feels a lot like a first date is all. First dates are scary.”
“A first date? Maddison, I’ve spent an entire night buried inside your
pussy, I think we’re past the first date.”
His words are filthy, and they cause my core to throb, like the traitor she
is. Briggs leans in closer, running his nose along the sensitive spot on my
jaw that has me sucking in a sharp breath. He takes the wine glass from my
hand and sets it beside him, close to the counter, without ever breaking eye
contact.
“We’re supposed to be taking things slow, remember?” I whisper.
“Mhm, I do.”
I feel his lips right there, right under the spot that he ran his tongue
along before. The same spot that had me arching against him as he sank
inside of me.
“Briggs, I need to tell you something.” My voice is nothing but a
whisper.
He pulls back, his steel eyes locking with mine, and for a moment, the
only sound is our labored breathing. The tension so thick it seems to suck
all of the air from the room, leaving me desperate to breathe again.
To breathe him in.
“I need to kiss you, Maddison, right now,” he pants.
Every second that passes, it feels like my body is on fire. Starting at my
toes, the burn seems to spread like wildfire.
Then we’re crashing together like we’ve both been in a drought without
the rain. My confession that was on the tip of my tongue dies down as
Briggs pulls me to him, and my arms slide around his neck into the thick
hair at his nape. He kisses me hard and slides his tongue inside my mouth
as I open, silently begging for more. My hands travel from his hair to the
dark sweater on his shoulders, fisting in the soft material as I try and pull
him closer to me. I feel his hands slide down my sides, past my hips to my
ass, as he hauls me up against the door. My legs lock around his waist as he
angles my jaw to plunge his tongue deeper, stealing the breath from my
lungs.
It happens so quickly, I blink, and suddenly were mauling each other
like teenagers, but the dull ache between my thighs, only seems to worsen
with each second his mouth is hot against my skin. His tongue, skillful as
ever, traces a fiery path down my throat as he nips at the skin, causing me to
arch from the door, leaning against him.
Somehow in the hazy fog of lust that’s taken over my brain, I manage to
break away and suck in a lungful of air as he kisses down my throat to the
deep V of my t-shirt.
Maybe it’s the wine, or maybe it’s the raging hormones that have
seemingly taken over my body since having Olive, but I want more. I need
more. I need him.
“More,” I pant when his fingers brush over my taut nipples, straining
against the material of my bra.
“Wait, wait,” he says roughly, pulling back and trying to catch his
breath.
My eyes widen. “What? No, no waiting.” I try and pull him back to me,
but he shakes his head then groans.
I can feel the deep vibration all the way through his body to my aching
core.
“You have no idea how badly I want you, Maddison, how badly I want
to bury my cock inside of you. But I am trying to be a good man. You said
you wanted to take things slow.”
Sighing heavily, I drop my head back against the door and groan, “I take
it back, everything I said. I mean, honestly, we had a kid before you even
knew my phone number, that’s not exactly slow, Wilson.”
 He laughs. “Mmm, are we going to use nicknames now? I like this.
How about Daddy instead?”
“Hard no from me.” I sigh.
Instead of continuing, he drops a sweet lingering kiss to my lips and
slowly lowers me to the floor. I have a raging case of lady blue balls right
now, but he’s right.
Sex wouldn’t tell me everything I want to learn about him.
“Trust me, when the time is right, I’m going to worship every inch of
your body, Maddison.” His words drip with arousal, and it does nothing but
cause my clit to tingle in anticipation.
“Stop it.”
This time, he grins cheekily. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He
glances down at the large black watch on his wrist that I’m only now
noticing, since I haven’t been able to pull my eyes off him since he walked
through the door.
“Plus, Ty and Kyle are going to be here any minute with Olive. The last
thing I want to do is start something I can’t finish. I wanted to ask you, I
have this thing… a team thing. All of the guys will be there with their wives
and girlfriends. I know it’s kind of soon, but would you wanna come? It’s
casual.”
I chew my lip nervously as I think about it. Am I ready to face Briggs’
team? My heart stutters at the thought of them discovering who I am. Can
you imagine how angry they’d be? Now more than ever, I hate that I ever
started The Puck Bunny. And this seems to be the opposite of slow, but in
true us fashion…We seem to do everything but move slowly.
“No pressure at all, but I’d love for you to be there. And I want them all
to meet Olive, you know, aside from the guys. Their wives are dying to
meet her.”
I can hear in his voice how badly he wants us to be there, which is why
I ultimately agree.
 “Okay, sure.”
“Really?” His eyes light up
I nod. “As long as you’re sure.”
“You have no idea how badly I want you both there. This seems too
good to be true… at least for me.”
It’s the second time in the past week he’s been vulnerable with me. The
second time that guilt has washed over me so powerfully that my knees feel
weak, as if the ground might fall from beneath my feet.
A secret tore us apart once before, and if I’m not honest, it’ll tear us
apart again.
 TWENTY TWO

“ARE YOU NERVOUS?” I ask. She’s sitting in the front seat of my truck,
wearing a fitted tank and tight dark jeans that accentuate her waist, making
my cock stir.
She shakes her head no, but I can see the way she’s fidgeting with her
fingers, picking at the purple polish on her nails. Even though we haven’t
made this a big deal… it is. It’s our first public outing together, and even
though it’s just the team and their families, it still feels huge.
It’s a giant step in our relationship, which is still brand-new, but even
still, I can’t wait for everyone to meet her and my Olive girl. Reaching over
the console, I pick her hand up and lace my fingers through hers, then bring
the back of her hand to my mouth and place my lips there gently.
“Don’t be nervous. They’re going to love you. Actually, everyone will
probably just obsess over Olive, so I think we’re going to be off the hook.”
That makes her laugh. Low and feminine, I love the sound. So fucking
much I want to hear it again, and again. I’ll never get tired of hearing it.
“That makes me feel slightly better,” she says quietly. The entire ride
she’s been silent, but the way she clasps my hand tighter makes me feel
better.
After a few more minutes, I pull off the highway into Reed’s gated
driveway. He and Holland are hosting today, mostly because, out of all of
us, Reed’s house is the largest, and Holland loves to be extra with his sister,
Emery, when it comes to get-togethers and parties. Well, it’s mostly Emery,
and she just makes Holland help her.
“Wow,” Maddison breathes once the heavy black iron gates swing open
and the two and a half story Acadian-style home comes into view. Painted a
bright white with black shutters and a wrap-around porch, it looks like
something out of a magazine.
After Holland and Reed got married a few months back, they built this
house together. Reed says for more kids, but Holland says it’s great for
entertaining. We all know what the real truth is though. Reed is fucking
obsessed with getting Holland pregnant, even though they have his nephew,
Evan, who he adopted as his son.
I wasn't even a kid guy before Olive, but I love that little guy. He’s
fucking adorable, and he has this obsession with sea animals.
“This house is bigger than my entire apartment complex.” Maddison’s
eyes are wide as she takes it in. Her grip on my hand tightens slightly, so I
pull her gently toward me, and drop a sweet kiss on her lips, until I can feel
her relax against me.
“I promise it’s going to be okay. You’ll love the girls.”
Again, she nods, but says nothing. When she pulls her bottom lip into
her mouth, a nervous habit, I use my thumb to pull it from her lip and swipe
lightly across her plump lip. Arousal spikes inside of me, but I tamper it
down, since walking into Reed’s house with a hard-on is the last thing any
of us need.
I shut my truck off, open my door and hop out, before heading to
Maddison’s door and helping her down. She runs her hands down her
sweater, then smooths down her hair while I get Olive and her infant carrier
from the back seat. Her eyes open just as I unhook the seat from the base.
She yawns sleepily and stretches her little arms over her head. It’s so cute.
 Damnit, everything she does is cute. She’s only two and a half months
old, and already has me right where she wants me, without even knowing it.
Maddison grabs the diaper bag from the floorboard, and I turn toward
her, extending my free hand for her to grab. “Ready?”
She nods, sliding her clammy palm in mind. Together, we walk through
the gate that leads to the back yard, then through the small entryway. When
we make it into the back yard, the second that Holland, Emery, and Juliet
see us, there's a deafening squeal. They run over to where we’re standing
and immediately start to talk to Olive.
“Maddison, this is Juliet, Liam’s wife. He was our coach a few years
back.”
“Hi Maddison! I'm so happy to meet you. I can’t wait to hold your
sweet girl, she’s so adorable,” Juliet exclaims, tickling the bottoms of
Olive’s feet, earning a wide grin from her. She stands and pulls Maddison
into a tight hug, not the least bit worried that she’s hugging a stranger.
Maddison looks a bit overwhelmed at first, but quickly plasters a smile
to her face and hugs Juliet back after the initial shock has worn off. “Hi! It’s
so nice to meet you, I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.”
Juliet grins, then lets go to make room for Emery, who hugs Maddison
and pulls back, holding her shoulders to look at her. “You are so hot. I told
my brother that you’d be hot.”
Maddison’s cheeks tint with a blush with Emery’s compliment, and this
time, I’m the one grinning.
She is hot. Hot as fuck, and all fucking mine.
“Er, thank you, you’re very pretty too.”
Emery smirks. “I’m Emery, Reed’s amazing sister. I’m so glad you
came!”
“Emery!” Reed calls from across the courtyard, gesturing her over.
“Duty calls, but I’ll be back for all the baby snuggles.” She rolls her
eyes before letting go of Maddison and sashaying over to him.
 Holland shakes her head at the boisterous, over-the-top personality, that
is her best friend. “Sorry about her. She’s a character.”
“It’s okay, I need to be pulled out of my shell.”
“When I first met her, she asked if my boobs were real and if she could
feel them,” Juliet says, eyebrows raised. “They are, by the way.”
“And…. that’s where I exit,” I say. I set Olive’s infant carrier onto the
concrete next to Maddison, and give her a quick kiss, then stand and pull
Maddison to me, whispering in her ear, “You okay for me to go?”
She nods against me and presses her lips to my stubble-covered cheek.
"Bye ladies,” I say, offering a quick wave before walking off to greet
the guys. They’re all standing near the grill with beers in hand.
“Wilson, what’s up man. Congratulations on the little one,” Liam says
when I join them. I still carry guilt about how I acted at his wedding, and
the events that took place. Even though we’ve discussed it, and I’ve
apologized, more times than I can remember, I still can’t help but feel a
twinge of guilt.
“Thank you. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Liam nods. “I know exactly how that feels. Ken and Ari changed my
life. Needless to say, I never thought I’d be playing dress-up during tea
parties, but…. we had a royal tea party last night.” He laughs. “Wouldn’t
change it for the world.”
That’s exactly how I feel. My relationship with Maddison is the furthest
thing from conventional that there is. We had our daughter from a weekend
fling. But I wouldn’t change it for anything, it gave us Olive, and in the end,
I somehow ended up with the girl, whether I deserve her or not. And I'd
never stop showing her that I’m worthy of her.
I give the rest of the guys a handshake. Asher looks like he’s been up all
night, and Graham is as energetic as fucking ever.
Hudson looks bored.
 Reed looks like the definition of a dad with his apron and spatula. I
mean the dude should be wearing a pair of Reebok’s right now.
“Nice outfit.” I smirk, which earns me a glare from him.
He looks completely offended, and it makes me laugh. “Don’t be a
hater. Holland got this for me for my birthday, and I’m showing it off.”
Graham snickers. “You’re the definition of a dad-bod dude.”
Reed scowls at him with a clenched jaw then points the spatula at him.
“Shut up. I do not have a fucking dad bod.”
These two bicker more than a damn married couple.
Walking over to Reed, Graham places his hands on his cheeks before
murmuring, “It’s okay to admit it, Davis. Honestly, chicks dig dad bods
now.”
Reed’s jaw clenches, and he looks like he’s five seconds from shoving
that spatula up Graham’s ass, but Holland, Juliet, Madison and my baby girl
walk up, interrupting their bickering.
When Maddison walks up to my side, I toss my arm around her
shoulders and pull her against me, then introduce her to the only person she
hasn’t met, Liam.
“Maddison, this is Liam, Juliet’s husband. You know the rest of these
idiots.”
She nods but elbows me in the side playfully for calling them idiots.
“Hi everyone.”
“Hi, can I hold Olive-you?” Graham asks.
“Of course.”
Squatting down, he spends the next ten minutes, trying to unbuckle her
from her seat because, apparently, something as simple as a car seat buckle
is above his skill level. Maddison tries to intervene to help, but I pull her
back and grin.
“Got it!” he mutters, finally able to free Olive from the straps and lift
her into his arms. She looks so fucking tiny compared to him.
 “Hi little Olive-you, you know Uncle Graham got you a super cool
present from Vegas. One day when you’re bigger, I’ll take you, and we can
do all the things that your parents will forbid you from doing.”
“Graham,” I warn.
He smirks then looks back down at her. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell
them.”
Olive babbles happily at him, and he rocks her in his arms gently. I’m
surprised at his attentive, gentleness with her. This dude is the furthest thing
from dad material there is, but he’s amazing with her.
“If your parents ever let me babysit you then we’re getting matching
tats, O. You think that would be cool?”
“Stop being stingy with the baby, Adams.” Emery swoops in and
carefully takes Olive from him then gives her a quick snuggle. “God, I love
babies.”
“Me too,” Graham mumbles, shocking us all.
“You thirsty, babe?” I ask Maddison, who’s laughing at Reed and
Liam’s story about the latest shenanigans the girls have gotten into,
including something with a tube of mascara that goes over my head.
She looks up at me, her honey eyes stealing my fucking breath. “Sure."
I lace our hands together and tug her toward the house with me. We
walk past the huge pool and pool house then cross the courtyard to the back
door that leads directly into the kitchen. Once we’re inside, I grab her a
bottle of water from the fridge, but before she can even take a sip, I yank
her toward me and take her mouth.
It feels like a goddamn week since I’ve had my lips on hers. We may
have agreed to take things slow, but I’ve been desperate for this woman
since the moment she left me at the inn, even more so now, knowing that
she carried my child.
It awakens a primal part of me every single time she breastfeeds Olive.
The caveman, raw side of me, that I’ve never in my life fucking felt, I feel
when she does the simplest of things.
Truth be told, I’m crazy about her.
“Briggs,” she mumbles against my lips, fisting her hands in the fabric of
my t-shirt.
“Mmm,” I respond, delving inside her mouth once more, my tongue
tasting every inch of her.
Backing up toward the hallway, I pull her with me until we get to the
bathroom, then slip inside and shut the door behind us, careful to flick the
lock shut.
“We are not going to make out in the bathroom like teenagers,” she
whispers breathlessly, pausing, “Are we?”
I toss my head back and laugh. “Fuck, you’re beautiful, Maddison.”
We do, in fact, make out in the bathroom like teenagers for the next ten
minutes until my beard has scratched her neck deliciously red, her lips are
bruised and she’s been thoroughly fucking kissed.
“We have to get back,” she whispers, but makes no move to untangle
herself from me. I don’t want to move either. It makes me even more
anxious to have time alone with her, without the eyes of our friends on us.
“What’s your dream date? If you could have anything, what would you
want?”
She looks at me pensively, chewing her lip. “Don’t laugh.” Her voice is
stern, and she pokes my chest to get her point across.
“Why would I laugh?”
“Because it’s probably over the top and ridiculous, but…. I’ve always
wanted to take a helicopter ride over Chicago at night. I love the city lights,
they put me at ease, and it’s been a dream since I was a little girl to fly over
it at night.” She pauses.
“What?”
She shrugs. “I think my dream date would be with someone who is
interested in what I have to say. About life, my goals, my dreams.
Connecting with someone on a deeper level. Maybe a candlelight dinner at
a fancy restaurant followed by a helicopter ride over Chicago."
“Hmm. And what happens after the helicopter ride?” I say.
Her gold-flecked eyes roll, “I think you already know, Briggs Wilson.
Stop trying to make me say it.”
“I wanna hear it, babe. I want to know your dream date, tell me all the
dirty, salacious details.”
“I want to have the best, most passionate, intense sex of my life.”
Her voice is raspy and low, and it shoots straight to my dick. Maddison
knows exactly what her words do to me because she trails her hand down
my chest to the flat, hard plane of my abs, and then fiddles with the
waistband of my jeans until I groan, hardening beneath the stiff fabric. “I
remember quite well how amazing your tongue is, Briggs.”
She leans closer until I can feel her lips move against mine as she
speaks, “I can’t wait to feel that again.”
“That’s it, down you go. You are driving me fucking insane woman.
God, I want you.”
Once her feet hit the ground, she stands on her tiptoes and laces her
fingers through my hair before kissing me soft and sweet on my lips, her
eyes dancing with amusement. She’s more than satisfied that she’s gotten
this response out of me.
Vixen.
“Later, baby.”
With that, she pulls back, opens the door and strolls out like she hasn’t
just given me the worst case of blue balls in my life.
We join everyone back outside, just as Reed is pulling the meat off the
grill. All of the girls have gathered around the table with Olive, so
Maddison joins them as I walk over and see if I can help Reed with
anything.
“What can I do?”
 Looking over his shoulder at the girls, he nods toward the house. “Can
you just catch the door for me? Gonna bring this in so everyone can make
their plates inside.”
Graham and Asher have joined the girls and are now having a very
heated conversation about…. menstrual cups, so I guess it’s just Reed,
Hudson, Liam and I prepping to eat.
These guys.
Once I get the door and we’re inside the massive kitchen, Reed sets the
pan of steaks, burgers, and chicken on the marble countertop and takes off
the apron. The girls file through the door, just a few minutes later, and we
all make our plates and decide to eat them inside.
There’s never a shortage of hands to hold Olive as Maddison and I make
our plates. Because I’m driving, I pour Maddison a glass of wine, and she
smiles when I hand it over.
“Thank you, Briggs.”
“No problem, baby.”
Emery gushes, “You two are so cute, it’s almost as sickening as my
brother and Holland.”
“Shut up, Em,” Reed grumbles, finally sitting with us with a pile of
food on his plate. The guy can eat.
Finally, I have my baby girl back in my arms, and using one hand, I take
a bite of my burger as Maddison chats with the girls. Today went so much
better than I planned, and fuck, it feels good.
To show Maddison off. For everyone to meet my baby girl.
“Oh Maddison, what’s your number? I’m going to text you tonight
about dinner this weekend.”
Maddison rattles her number off, and my eyebrows rise. “Dinner?” I
whisper against the shell of her ear.
“Yeah, Juliet and Holland asked me to go to dinner with them this
weekend for a kind of girls’ dinner. I was going to see if either I could bring
Olive or if Ty and Kyle were busy.”
I shake my head. “I can hang out with Olive, babe.” Looking toward the
guys. “The girls are having a girls’ dinner Saturday. What do you guys say
we have a guys’ day… with Olive juice here?”
Graham smiles bright and tickles Olive’s cheek. “Definitely.”
The rest of the guys chime in too, so there it is.
“Settled.” I drop my lips to Maddison’s head in a quick kiss, and she
sinks into me for a moment. It feels right. So fucking right.
Having my girls here with me, surrounded by all of the other people that
I love, it feels like for the first time in a long time, this is exactly where I’m
meant to be.
With my family.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past few years, it’s that family
isn’t just blood, family is the people who stand by you when you have
nothing left.
Who pick you up when you can’t seem to lift yourself from the ground.
The people who love you even after you’ve given them every reason not
to.
 TWENTY THREE

A FEW DAYS pass as I wait for dinner with Holland and Juliet. I would be
lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it since they invited me. While
I’ve been friends with Ty my entire life, and welcomed Kyle with open
arms, whenever they got together, it’s still nice to spend time with two
women who are also moms and in relationships with professional hockey
players. Lots of common ground… and I’m sure they have advice that I
desperately need when it comes to the man who turns my insides into a
molten gooey mess when he’s around.
I’m just finishing curling my hair when I see Briggs in the mirror. He
walks in and slides his hands around my waist then pulls me against his
hard body. Moving my hair to the side, off my neck, he plants a wet, hot
kiss against the sensitive skin of my shoulder, where it meets my neck. A
spot that he knows sets me on fire, only for him.
“How about we cancel girls and guys’ day, and we stay home? Just me,
you, and Olive?”
I roll my eyes before shaking my head no. “No can do, sorry love. I
promised Holland and Juliet. Plus, I think Graham will be seriously
disappointed if he doesn’t get to hang out with Olive. He loves her.”
I set the curling iron down on the counter, so I don’t burn myself or
Briggs, then run my fingers through the still warm curls, making sure
they’re more beach wavy instead of tight curled.
Briggs groans and drops his head onto my shoulder. “I can’t wait for
alone time with you. I love my baby, so fucking much, but I also want to
devour you on every damn surface of my house.”
Speaking of… we’ve been discussing Olive and I moving into his
house, again. As much as I want to, the logical part of me says it’s too fast
and that we haven’t explored our relationship enough or that we don’t know
each other well enough for such a giant step.
Briggs promptly reminded me that we’ve basically done everything ass
backwards, and this wouldn’t be any different.
My lease here is up at the end of the month, so the decision is weighing
heavily on me.
I want to be with Briggs, in his space, together with Olive. And the fact
that his house is ten times the size of my apartment and completely free of
upstairs neighbors who like to have sex like obnoxious porn stars, and a
shower that works without having to break out the tools in order to get it to
turn on.
I’m just… I have to be honest with him, soon. I can’t continue to hold
this secret, knowing it will destroy us as the seconds tick by. I keep telling
myself that I’ll find the right time, and that I’ll stop being a coward, but is
there such a thing as perfect timing? A right time to break the heart of the
man you are falling in love with?
“Guys are here, babe.” He turns me toward him, sliding his hands along
my jaw, and kisses me so sweetly that a part of me simply withers away at
the gentleness of his lips. Then his hands are gone and I already miss the
loss of them. He walks out the bathroom door and then turns around at the
last second, his hair falling in his eyes. I can see confusion written on his
face.
“Where’s that thing that you strap on you? For Olive?”
It takes me a minute to figure out what he’s talking about.
 “The BabyBjörn?”
He nods. “The baby carrier thing, so I can wear her.”
Part of me actually melts onto the floor at the thought of Briggs wearing
our child. This surly, tall, sexy man proudly wearing his baby girl makes
my ovaries a bit too excited.
"Why are you looking at me like that?” His brow furrows.
“Just thinking maybe we should have another baby,” I squeak jokingly,
until his eyes darken with desire.
“Tell me when, and I’ll gladly put another baby in your belly,
Maddison,” he rasps.
“Oh god, please leave. I can’t do this right now. Hall closet, at the top.
Bye.”
He smirks. “Bye baby.” And is out the door, leaving me debating if I
have lost my mind entirely and if every bit of it is due to Briggs.
The place Holland chose is one that I've been dying to go to since it
opened, but it is next to impossible to get reservations to unless you know
someone… influential. Which, I guess when you’re married to one of the
best hockey players in the city, actually the country, you have the ability to
make it happen.
Joy Lounge is a lounge in downtown Chicago that has a rooftop bar
with some of the best views of the city, and she couldn't have picked a
comfier, more relaxed atmosphere for our girls’ night.
“I can’t believe you got us a table here,” I all but squeal as we walk
through the entrance.
Her face lights up. “I’ve been dying to go since it opened, and when I
told Reed about our girls’ night, he was able to call in a favor with his
friend Roddy, apparently he and his sister own it!”
“Wow,” Juliet stammers. She’s wearing a fitted black cocktail dress and
heels that make her calves look amazing. Holland went with a pantsuit and
top that ties at the waist, hanging off the shoulder and a bold eye look.
 They both look amazing, and suddenly I feel a bit underdressed in the
pencil skirt and plain top I went with.
“You both look amazing,” I tell them. We’re waiting at the hostess stand
for our table, and Holland looks down at her outfit.
“Thank you. Honestly, these pants hide my stomach, and I am all for it,”
Holland says, gesturing to the sash tied around her waist.
Juliet raises her hand. “Girl, preaaach, the only reason I could even fit
in this damn thing is because I have Spanx on, cutting off my circulation
and holding all of my rolls in. Let’s be real.”
With that, my self-consciousness immediately disappears. They’re both
so effortlessly beautiful, I forget that they’re moms too and like me, they
have insecurities too. It makes me feel immensely better.
“Okay, I'm so glad you two said something because this is the only
outfit I could find that I even remotely liked. I feel like I’ve gained so much
weight after having Olive. I miss my old body.”
Juliet reaches out and places her hand on my arm. “Girl, you are not
alone. Trust me, we are right there with you. If you ever need someone to
vent to or cry because your jeans won’t button, we are your girls.”
“Yes, what she said. Let’s go take a look at this place while we wait,
what do you think?”
Holland links her arm in mine, and when I nod, we go on an impromptu
tour of the lounge. We take the elevator to the rooftop bar that has large, u-
shaped wooden benches with comfy patterned cushions scattered around.
To the right, there’s a wall that spells “joy” in the most beautiful flowers
I’ve ever seen, and there are a ton of girls taking selfies and group shots
there.
“Wow, this place is amazing. I’m so glad we got to come.” Holland
squeals in excitement. We find an empty bench on the far side of the
rooftop bar that’s quieter, and still well-lit by the strand of lights that are
roped across the entire floor.
 “Here would be perfect. What do you think?” Juliet asks, gesturing to
the spot.
“For sure.”
My phone rings inside my purse, so I quickly fish it out while Juliet and
Holland chat over the drink menu.
I can’t help the smile that blooms on my lips when I see it’s a text from
Briggs.
Briggs: I fucking miss you.
Grinning, I quickly type a message back:
Maddison: Miss you too! How is Olive?
A photo pops up seconds later of Olive strapped in the baby carrier,
strapped to Briggs’ chest where he’s smiling with Graham, Reed, and
Hudson. He captioned it “guys’ day out + olive.”
My heart squeezes at the photo, and I turn it around to show Holland
and Juliet.
“Okay, girl, seriously, there is nothing hotter than a man and a baby, tell
me I’m wrong,” Holland says.
“Seriously. Come on, spill, we want all the details!” Juliet quips.
The waitress comes up just as I’m about to speak, even though I have no
idea where to really start when it comes to Briggs and me. We all give her
our drink order. I stick with trusty white wine, while the other girls get more
adventurous and order something fruity and frozen from the menu.
"Well… I guess I’m technically the statistic that no one wants to talk
about. I got pregnant after we spent the weekend together at my
grandparents’ inn on Lake Geneva.”
Holland and Juliet look at each other then back at me, their eyes
pleading with me to go on. I guess it’s good to know that our situation
hasn’t been talked about, even within his friend group.
“We basically never exchanged last names, or numbers, and I could tell
that Briggs wanted his anonymity, so I respected that. We shared a bottle of
cheap tequila and well… the rest of the weekend we spent together. Then, I
left on Sunday because, I don’t know… I just knew that our worlds were so
different, and I wouldn’t have a place in his life, and I didn’t want to
complicate the weekend that we spent together.”
Holland scoots closer to me and puts her hand on my arm in comfort.
“Then, I found out I was pregnant, and the rest is history. Now Olive is
our world. Only recently… did we decide to explore a relationship between
us. It was really important to me that we put our parenting relationship first.
I don’t ever want something to come between Olive and her daddy. Now,
we’re just learning to be a couple… and be Olive’s parents.”
Juliet speaks up next, “I know how that feels. You see when I met Liam,
I was his nanny.”
“Wow.”
She nods. “Yeah, it was a seriously crazy situation. We tried too hard to
keep things professional, and he was such a grumpy ass. It was the only
way that he could separate his feelings for me from the professional
relationship. His little girls, Ari and Kennedy, and I fell in love, and then so
did Liam and me. It’s kind of funny… looking back, had we just
communicated better, things would have been so much easier, but you live
and learn, I guess.”
Her words strike entirely too close to home.
Each day that passes, the guilt seems to eat me alive. I know the right
thing to do is confess to Briggs that I’m The Puck Bunny, that I’m the blog
that has put his life on display, even though I had no idea who he really was
at the time. But it’s not black and white. It’s not as simple as telling him.
If I tell him, everything changes.
He’ll hate me. No matter the reason behind my motives.
Not only will he hate me, but he’ll never trust me again. I can’t lose
him. The thought makes my stomach lurch.
“Maddison?” Holland says, pulling me from the thoughts in my head.
 “I’m so sorry, I was lost in thought, what did you say?”
She laughs. “You sound like me. I swear, I can’t keep my focus on
something for longer than fifteen seconds these days. I was asking if you
were planning on moving in to Briggs’ house? I thought he said something
to Reed about it, but I wasn’t sure if I overheard it correctly.”
“I’m not sure, honestly. We’re kind of just taking things day-by-day,
you know?”
Holland nods, her blonde curls matching my own tonight, seem to
bounce with her movements. “I’m not being intrusive, I swear. I guess just
curious about the girl who Briggs is head over heels in love with.”
What?
Wait, did she just say Briggs is in love with me? That’s... that’s not at all
true.
…is it?
“Don’t look so panicked, babe. You can’t tell me you didn’t know that
he’s crazy about you?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shake my head. “I- I... I mean,
we’ve never said that, and we’ve only been an actual couple for a few
weeks.”
This time, it’s Juliet that laughs and looks at me incredulously. “If
there’s anything I’ve learned about these men… they love, and they love
hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s been a day, or a week, or three years, if that
man loves you, he loves you. Time doesn’t define that. Liam still looks at
me like he did back then, and if anything, he’s crazier now about me.” She
smiles. “If I can offer you any advice, and feel free to tell me to shove it at
any point, I just... I see a lot of myself in you and I can see how much you
two both care about each other.”
“But love? It just seems so soon and I-”
She nods. “Listen, my nana’s best advice she ever gave me was to listen
beyond words. Sometimes people say things in anger, or things that they
don’t mean. Sometimes people aren’t good with words. Instead, they show
their love. In their actions. In affirmations. In their touch. Communicate in
whatever way works for you, but put it first. Even if you think it’s been too
short of a time, what do you feel when you’re together? That’ll tell you
everything you need to know.”
“Wow,” Holland murmurs, “I think I’m going to cry. That’s some
seriously good advice. Relationships are hard, raising children is harder. But
communicating and leaning on your man when things are hard is what it’s
all about.”
Suddenly, the air around me feels suffocating. It’s not that I don’t
appreciate their advice, it’s just I wasn’t expecting it to be so fitting for our
situation.
For the secret that I’m hiding.
Now more than ever, I know that I have to be honest with Briggs if
we’re going to be together and move forward. Soon.
“Okay, enough of the heavy stuff, I have an idea… you girls down?”
Juliet smirks mischievously, and I immediately nod. Anything to get my
mind off of the conversation we just had.
“Let’s go.”

“Oh my god, Maddison, you look… like a freaking goddess.”

“Like a literal angel.”
Both Juliet and Holland stare at me with slacked jaws and wide eyes.
At first, I thought Juliet’s idea was terrible and wondered why I’d
agreed to come blindly in the first place. But now… I think it’s exactly what
I needed.
“I swear, if Briggs doesn’t rip that off of you and maul you, I’m going
to do it myself,” Holland assures me. She’s wearing a piece that’s
completely different, and she literally looks like a supermodel, so that
compliment coming from her, makes me feel amazing.
“Are you sure?”
Glancing back at the mirror, I scrutinize my reflection and the skimpy
lacy lingerie that’s glued to my body like a second skin. It’s unlike anything
I’ve ever worn before, but Juliet and Holland insisted I at least try it on, and
I’m so glad they did.
The white lace makes my skin look darker, it’s almost as if it glows
against the creamy white fabric. It makes my boobs perkier, with the sheer
fabric then tapering around my waist into a matching pair of underwear
with gold garters. The entire set does look quite goddess-like in golds and
creamy white.
The gold garters lock into a pair of sheer tights that accentuate my
thighs and calves, and for the first time since having Olive, I feel sexy.
Even with my wider hips, my not as firm stomach and stretch marks, I
feel confident. Sexy. Beautiful in this new skin.
“Yes, I’m sure, oh my god. You look flawless,” Holland assures me. She
fidgets with the strand on her garters, before standing straight to look at
herself in the mirror.
“This is definitely the one. Red is the sexiest color ever, and somehow
you make it look even better,” I tell her.
“Red is Reed’s favorite color,” she grins, “not that it will last past five
seconds before it’s in a pile of scraps on the floor.”
The thought of Briggs ripping this from my body has my thighs
clenching together. I can imagine wearing this for him, seeing his reaction.
Which is precisely the reason that I decide to buy it before I can talk
myself out of it.
“Juliet, are you ready?” Holland asks.
"Yes, this thing is sooooo see-through though.”
 I laugh. “Uh, well, we’re standing here in next to nothing so it’s your
turn.”
Seconds later, the dressing room door opens, and Juliet walks out
wearing a black lace negligee that has a built-in bra and falls to the tops of
her thighs. It’s gorgeous and even more so on her.
“What do you think? Is it too much?” She fidgets with the crisscross
strap nervously.
“It’s amazing, oh god Juliet, you have to get this!” Holland cries,
stepping down off the platform to walk over to Juliet and help her untangle
the crisscross strap on her back. Once she does, Juliet turns toward the
mirror again and then nods. “Yes, this is the one.”
“I’m not going to lie. I thought this was probably going to be a terrible
idea once you told me, but now I’m so glad that you did. I haven’t really
felt much myself since having Olive. Not with all the changes in my body
and the fact that I feel like I’ll never look the way I did before. Today made
me feel like the old me. I feel sexy.”
“Me too. I’m so glad we did this. I mean most friends probably
wouldn’t go try on skimpy lingerie on their first friend date, but I really feel
like this sets the precedent.” Juliet giggles and Holland tosses her head back
and laughs.
“I’m glad we did too. I really needed a few girlfriends that I could be
myself around. It means a lot to me that you girls welcomed me with open
arms.”
Holland smiles. “You’re stuck with us for life, sister.”
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week.”
I’m more thankful than ever for today.
Now… to work up the courage to actually wear this for Briggs.
 TWENTY FOUR

“ARE you going to tell me what you have planned?” Maddison asks. She’s
putting things in Olive’s bag for her very first overnight trip. Her first trip
away from her mama, and I know Maddison’s nervous.
I know her well enough now that I’ve learned the little things about her.
Like when she’s anxious, she fidgets. With her nails, a loose string on her
sweater, or in this case, by taking everything out of the bag she’s just
packed to make sure she hasn’t missed anything.
I get it, I’m going to miss my Olive girl, too, but Maddison and I need
this night.
My phone rings in my pocket, and I pull it out to see my mother’s name
on the screen. Pressing the side button, I silence it then slip it back in my
pocket.
When I look up, Maddison’s paused packing and is looking at me with
soft eyes.
“Your parents?” she asks quietly.
I nod. “My mother. I’m not ready yet.”
“Okay.”
I don’t want to put a damper on the mood, so I quickly change the
subject, shelving the conversation about my fucked-up family. “I’m going
to get Olive dressed and spend some time with her before your grams gets
here. Then, I’m leaving, and I’ll pick you up at seven for our date.”
She blows out an exasperated breath. “Can’t you tell me something? At
least tell me what I should wear.”
“Babe,” I laugh, walking over and wrapping my arms around her waist,
“wear something comfortable, but feel free to wear heels.”
She groans against my chest then looks up at me with her wide, gold-
flecked eyes that always disarm me, so fucking easily. “You are driving me
crazy.” Her fingers skim along the expanse of my chest, and I almost shiver.
I’m gone for her.
Everything about her sets me on edge.
I drop my lips to her quickly, giving her a kiss that’s hard and
demanding, but tear myself away before I forget about the entire night that
I’ve got planned. Which I’ve spent the last week planning, although she has
no idea what’s in store.
“Later,” I mutter against her lips.
“Fine.”
She steps back and walks over to the bag of Olive’s things on the bed,
and I can’t help but laugh. Just weeks ago, we said we were going to take
things slow, and it’s a pace neither of us has seemed to be able to keep.
I walk into the living room, where Olive is in her exersaucer, playing
with the toys on it. She babbles in baby until I pick her up from it and hold
her over my head like a mini-baby airplane.
“You are such a big girl, Olive. What’s Daddy gonna do when you get
bigger? You know that even when you do get big, you’ll still be my baby
girl, right?
I can’t wait for the day that she talks back. I can’t wait to see her grow.
“Briggs, Grams is here,” Maddison calls from the bedroom, appearing
moments later with Olive’s pack and play tucked under one arm and her bag
slung over the other.
 “Woman, I told you to let me lift the heavy stuff.”
“I’ve got it. You’ve got Olive.”
We meet her grams downstairs to load the things into her car, and her
face lights up when she sees Olive.
“Oh, darling girl, how big you’ve gotten since I’ve seen you last.” She
walks over and gently takes Olive from me, giving me a pat on the cheek.
“She looks even bigger than in the photos you’ve been sending, Maddison.”
It feels like every time I blink, Olive is doing something new, like
rolling over from her back to her belly and her belly to her back, which
caused Maddison to scream out loud and video it then she proceeded to
send it to Juliet, Holland, Ty, Kyle, Grams and then Emery.
“She’s growing like a weed, that’s for sure. Thanks for letting her stay
over tonight, Grams. I’m a little nervous,” she admits.
Grams scoffs. “I raised you, didn’t I, Maddison? She will be fine. We’re
going to make some cookies for the guests and then we’re going to go
through all of your old baby things to see what I can pass down to her. Isn’t
that right, Olive?” Turning to face me, she says, “Nice to see you again,
Briggs. Not that I’m surprised.”
Her eyes twinkle, and she winks.
“Nice to see you too, ma’am. Thanks for being here for Maddison, you
know, when I wasn’t able to.”
Grams nods. “I knew you two would find your way back to each other,
one way or another. Life has a way of making things more complicated than
it should be sometimes.”
Isn’t that the truth.
It makes me think of my own family and how disconnected and divided
we all are.
“Alright, we’ve got to get back, sweet girl, say bye to Daddy and
Mommy.”
 We each take turns giving Olive kisses, then help Grams get the car seat
into her SUV then she pulls out of the parking lot, both of us watching as
she goes.
“That was way harder than I actually thought it would be.” Maddison
mumbles, swiping away a tear that’s fallen from her hazel eyes.
“Fuck, baby, don’t cry. Please.” I put my arm around her shoulders and
pull her into me, kissing the top of her hair. “I promise she's going to do
great. Plus, I have something planned that you’ll love.”
“I know, it’s just hard being away from her.”
I nod. “I get it. How about you go get ready, relax some, and I’ll see you
tonight at seven?”
“It’s a date.”

I need tonight to go perfectly.

Lucky for me, I’m a guy that performs well under pressure, and I have
an impeccable attention to detail. Which makes me feel slightly less
nervous about surprising Maddison with what I have planned.
I straighten my tie in the mirror of the limo one last time, making sure
it’s perfectly in place as well as my cufflinks, before I open the door and
step outside.
Is renting a limo for our first official date a bit over the top? Absolutely.
Do I give two fucks? Absolutely not. I want this to be the date that
Maddison has always dreamed of, and in order to make that happen, I had
to pull out all the stops.
Maddison deserves to be worshiped. To have an entire day, hell, an
entire weekend, devoted to making her happy.
I check my watch one last time as I stand next to the limo, and at
exactly seven o’clock sharp, I see Maddison’s front door open, and when
she steps outside, it’s like all the breath from my lungs is sucked out in one
quick woosh.
She looks like a fucking angel. Like every dream I’ve ever had come to
life.
Her blonde hair cascades in waves down her back with the side pinned
above her ear by a small clip, and tonight, she’s wearing makeup, which
I’ve learned is rare for her. It causes her eyes to pop with the dramatic black
of her eyeshadow, and the dark, deep, red-painted lip.
Fuck, those lips.
I think I groan out loud, but I can’t even be sure because I can’t think
about anything other than what it would be like to see those perfect lips
wrapped around my cock as she takes me down her throat. Bright red as
they circle my length.
I haven’t even made it to her dress, and I’m already ready to rip it from
her body and bury myself inside of her. The black dress she’s wearing was
made for her. Tight around her ample chest, and tapered at her waist,
accentuating her wide hips and delectable ass.
She’s so goddamn beautiful.
“You look incredible, Maddison.”
Truthfully, she looks good enough to eat.
“Thank you, Briggs…You look handsome. I love your tie.”
Even in the dim light, I can see the way her cheeks redden at the praise.
God, I can’t wait to praise and worship every inch of her body.
Grinning, I pull her against me and plant a chaste kiss on the corner of
her mouth, knowing better than to smear her lipstick.
“I love your dress. It fits you perfectly.”
“It’s actually Holland’s, she let me borrow it. It fit better than I thought
since Holland is so tiny.” She averts her eyes, looking down at the black
material.
 “Hey,” I murmur, using my thumb and forefinger to grasp her chin and
bring her eyes to mine, “It looks amazing.”
“Thank you for tonight. I’ve been dying to see what you have planned.”
I knew for a fact that she would love tonight because what I have
planned is the exact thing she told me only days ago.
“Well, let’s go before we’re late. Madam.” I hold my hand out to help
her into the car. She slides into the back seat, and I file in behind her.
I tuck her against my side, and the entire ride to the restaurant, she
nervously picks at her freshly painted nails and chews on her lip.
She has absolutely no idea what I have planned, and I love it.
“Don’t be nervous,” I whisper against her hair.
“I’m not,” she says hoarsely, “I’m not. Okay, I’m a little nervous.”
I laugh. “I know, but don’t be. Trust me.”
A look passes across her face of something I haven’t seen before, and
she nods. “I do, Briggs.”
Her words feel heavy, like there’s more meaning behind them, but I
don’t press. The rest of the ride, she’s quiet, pensive even, until the limo
pulls up at the front of Monteverde, the restaurant I chose for tonight.
“How in the world did you get reservations here?” She whips her head
toward me, her wide eyes filled with shock.
Not going to lie, it does good shit to my ego.
I smirk. “Called in a few favors.”
She stutters for a moment, “I-, O-, Wow. The last time Ty tried to get a
reservation here, they were booked up for two years. I don’t even know
what I’m eating for dinner tomorrow, let alone two years from now. I’m
impressed, Wilson.”
“I aim to please, baby.” I retort, teasingly.
I’m glad she’s impressed, because I did have to give the owner season
tickets… for the next two years to make this happen and pay a ridiculously
stupid amount of money, but I’d do that shit again in a heartbeat, if it meant
putting the same smile on her face that’s there now. Anything is worth it to
make her smile.
She slides her hand in mine as we stand outside the restaurant, then I
pull her to me and drop a kiss to the corner of her lips. “Let’s go, beautiful.”
Hand in hand, we walk into Monteverde to be greeted by a smiling
hostess.
“Hi, we’ve got a reservation under Wilson.”
The girl’s eyes widen, and she stutters slightly, “B-briggs Wilson,
right?”
I nod, glancing at Maddison who lifts her brow.
“Sure, uh, Mr. Russo said that you’ll have the entire dining room to
yourselves tonight.”
Maddison stills next to me, and when my eyes meet her wide green
eyes, she looks completely shocked. “Wait, like, as in we’re the only people
here? At all?” She looks from me to the hostess, who nods slowly.
“If you’ll follow me this way, I’ll get you seated and have your wine
selection out shortly.”
Maddison’s hand tightens in mine, and I chuckle. “Gotta go big or go
home to impress my girl.”
“Wow.”
We follow behind the hostess, who leads us into the dining room, which
is completely empty. There’s a cozy, quaint table set with a cream-linen
tablecloth, adorned with several low burning candles, casting a romantic
glow.
I owe you one, Russo.
Pulling out Maddison’s chair, I pull it close to me, then take a seat next
to her as the hostess shows us the wine menu, and I let Maddison pick
because I honestly don’t give a shit, except the way it tastes after it’s been
on her lips.
I’m obsessed with this girl, and I can’t fucking wait to kiss her red lips.
 The chef prepared a meal that’s solely for us, so as we wait for it to be
brought out, she glances around with stars in her eyes.
“God, this is so incredible, Briggs. I can’t believe you did this.”
I shrug. “Anything for you, baby.”
Her eyes glisten with unshed tears, and she entwines our hands in her
lap.
“I have to tell you about Graham’s latest idea for Olive. He wants to
build her a treehouse,” Maddison says, laughing.
The entire night we laugh and tell stories of our childhoods. We spend
our time together getting to know each other in ways we hadn’t had the
luxury to before this moment, and if it’s possible, I realize I’m even crazier
about this beautiful, sarcastic, slightly nerdy girl. All night, her hand
brushes against my thigh under the table, dancing across my forearms and
trailing up my hand, the smallest of touches, yet… we still can’t seem to
keep our hands off each other.
Enough to where I’m ready to take her home and spend the rest of the
night making up for lost time.
I place my hand on her thigh, sliding it higher as she finishes the glass
of wine in front of her, until my fingers drag under the hem of her dress. I
ache to replace my fingers with my tongue and watch as she falls apart
beneath me.
“Briggs,” she breathes. Not a warning...more like an invitation, and
that’s the moment when I realize we need to get out of here, and quickly.
A man is only so strong when it comes to resisting his woman.
“Let’s go before I spread you out on this table and have my dessert.”
Her eyes widen, and I see her throat bob as she swallows.
Raising her hand, she says, “Check, please.”
I almost fall out of the fucking chair since I already paid for the entire
restaurant, but the sentiment is still there.
What I have planned next…well, I think it might even top dinner.
 After we leave the restaurant and ride a short distance to our next
destination, I cover her eyes as we make our way out of the limo and to the
place where the next part of our date will happen.
“Briggs, I can hardly walk in these heels when I can actually see so…
can I look now?”
I laugh, and once I turn her around, I uncover her eyes and wait for her
reaction.
“Oh my god,” she whispers, covering her mouth. “Oh my god.”
The sleek, black A-Star helicopter sits on the helipad in front of us with
the pilot standing to the side of the door. He’s also a hockey fan, and a
friend, so I called in a favor.
“Hi Roger.” I grin, approaching him, practically having to drag a
shocked Maddison behind me. “This is my girl, Maddison.”
“Hi-i,” she says.
Her eyes dart back to mine and she shakes her head, “I can’t believe you
did this. Briggs…”
I nod. “I know, baby.”
I would do it again every fucking day to see that smile.
I help her up into the helicopter and get her buckled in, while Roger
gives us each a headset, and her hand never leaves mine. She holds on
tightly, like letting go would break the moment between us.
“Thank you, for everything. This is incredible,” she says quietly, just as
the blades begin to whirl.
“Always.”
A few minutes later and we're airborne. As we take off, her hand
tightens in mine, but her eyes never leave the glowing city beneath us. The
skies are clear, and the air still as Roger takes us over Chicago’s skyline,
pointing out several places from the cockpit. Maddison stares in awe, and
when the arena comes into view, she whips toward me excitedly, pointing.
“Look, that’s where you play!”
 I nod, smirking. “I know, baby. Speaking of… I want you and Olive to
come to a few games this year, when the season starts up again.”
“I’d love to.”
The rest of the night passes in only what can be described as pure
fucking happiness. I can’t remember the last time I laughed or smiled so
much that my jaw hurt. I’m so fucking happy.
And it has everything to do with Maddison.
All I want to do is recreate this night every chance I get for her. To see
this happiness in her eyes. Always.
By the time we pull up at her apartment and I help her out of the truck,
she’s grinning slyly. “Remember what happens next on my dream date?”
“As if I would forget. Get your sweet ass in that door.”
She giggles as my hand connects with her pert ass.
I shut the front door behind me and turn to face Maddison. She looks at
me through heavily-lidded, lust-filled eyes. Each brush of my fingers
against her skin, every time she’s pulled her lip into her mouth, rolling that
plump red lip between her teeth, every time her hand ghosted along my
thigh under the table at dinner.
I’m going out of my fucking mind for her.
And she knows it.
“Wait here, please,” she rasps.
I give her a singular nod as she turns on her heel and disappears into the
door of her bedroom, then shuts it behind her. Unbuttoning the front buttons
of my sports jacket, I sit on the sagging cushions of her worn couch,
waiting.
Adrenaline mixed with a hazy amount of lust pumps through my veins.
I feel like I’ve waited for this moment for so fucking long, I have to tell
myself to calm down, and savor it.
A few minutes later, the door of her bedroom cracks open, and she steps
out. When she does, the breath is knocked from my lungs and I’m pretty
sure I’ve swallowed my fucking tongue.
My mouth goes dry. “Holy fuck.” I can barely get it out, but somehow,
the words escape me.
Maddison’s wearing nothing but a piece of white lace that barely covers
her in all of the places I’m dying to touch. The lingerie leaves little to the
imagination, the fabric covering her pert pink nipples, hugging her hips, to
the tiny scrap of cloth between her legs.
Fuck, I’m gonna come in my pants like a teenager.
“Do you like it?” she whispers. Judging by the way she’s fingering the
strap at her leg, she’s nervous and fuck that.
I stand abruptly and stalk over to her, taking her jaw in my hands. “You
look like a fucking angel. I’m in awe. God, Maddison, you’re perfect.”
Glancing back down, I drag my eyes over her body again, and stifle a
groan. She’s got on cream and gold garters and her luscious ass is on
display. I’ve never seen anything sexier, not in my entire life.
This woman was made for me.
“I was so nervous picking this out because my body… it’s so different
now after Olive. I have stretch marks…,” she gestures down at her stomach,
“I’m not as fit as I was before her. God, this is so embarrassing. I just
wanted to be sexy for you.”
She moves to cover her face, but I quickly pull her hands away and tip
her chin up. Her eyes seem darker tonight, stormy.
“This body? It carried my baby. There’s nothing sexier, and I’m going to
spend all night proving it,” I rasp, emotion and lust seeming to have taken
root in my chest by the woman standing in front of me. “I am crazy about
you, about these curves.”
I drag my hands down her jaw to the slender slope of her throat, passing
down her chest. Her pert nipples stand taut, pressing against the thin lace of
her camisole. My hands brush against them as I continue my descent of her
body, down the flat expanse of her stomach to her hips, where I grip her
tightly, pressing her body against me.
My cock is so hard it’s straining against my zipper like it’s going to
punch straight through.
“Do you feel this?” I flex my hips into her, and she whimpers slightly.
“It’s for you, Maddison, and only you. You do this to me. You make me
fucking insane with desire, and I know we’re supposed to be taking things
slow, but the second you say that I can, I’m going to put another baby in
you. You are mine.”
Her eyes widen slightly as she swallows. “You...You want to have
another baby?”
I shrug. “I want to have all the babies with you. Nothing is sexier than
your body, especially after carrying our daughter. Baby…” I trail off,
squeezing her hips slightly, “when I said I was all in, I meant it. It wasn’t
just some bullshit that I spewed to get you. I am in this. I am your partner,
and Olive’s dad, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Before I even finish, Maddison’s on her tiptoes, angling her mouth to
me and pressing those red-stained lips to mine. Her hands fist my shirt then
travel up to the back of my neck, where she holds on as she thrusts her
tongue into my mouth and whimpers against my lips.
Tearing from my lips, she pants, “That is the sexiest thing you’ve ever
said.”
I grin. “If you think that’s sexy… how about I show you.”
She nods, then jumps up, wrapping her arms around my neck as I catch
her. Her legs lock around my waist, and her trembling fingers work at my
tie, loosening it from around my neck.
At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it to the bedroom, as badly as I
want her, and as frenzied as her hands are on me. Her nails sink into my
neck as I close my mouth around her nipple through the lace fabric, and
suck the tightened nub into my mouth, then graze my teeth over it. Her back
arches, pressing her pussy against my aching cock.
"Briggs,” she breathes, tossing her head back.
“Please fucking tell me I can take this off,” I beg.
She giggles lowly and nods. I carry us through the living room, partially
in the fucking dark, until her back hits the bedroom door. I suck at the
sensitive spot on her neck that makes her crazy, and she writhes in my arms.
I fumble with the door handle of the bedroom, finally opening it. It
swings open, revealing a pitch-black room, but thankfully, I know my way
around her apartment with my eyes closed. I lay her back on the bed and
stand, then flick on the lamp. The golden glow illuminates the room, and
for a brief second, I take the time to appreciate the lingerie I know she
picked out just for me.
It looks incredible, but my resolve has snapped, and I can’t wait another
second to have her bare for me.
I slide my hand underneath the fabric at her chest and tug, ripping it
straight from her body. The sound of tearing fabric echoes around the room,
mixed with a shocked gasp from Maddison.
“Briggs!” she cries, “that cost a small freaking fortune.”
“I asked you if I could take it off, baby.” I smirk, my eyes hungrily
drinking in the sight of her heavy, full tits. “I’ll buy you the whole goddamn
store if you promise to wear it every single night for me.”
She rolls her eyes, but I see the hint of a smile on her lips. I take the rest
of the fabric off of her body, and slowly drag my fingers down the soft skin
of her stomach, lightly across her mound to the top of her thick, delicious
thighs. Her fingers shake as she tries to help me remove the strap from the
garter.
Shaking my head, I mutter hoarsely, “Let me.”
She nods and lies back on her elbows, watching me work. One by one, I
unsnap the garter, watching as the strap falls away, one step closer to having
her completely bare, spread out in front of me.
As much as I wanted to sink myself inside of Maddison, I planned to
spend a significant amount of time between her thighs, devouring her. I
dreamed about the way she tasted, the sounds she made as she came against
my tongue, the feel of her hands as they tightened in my hair, just as she
bowed off the bed, unable to fend off her orgasm any longer.
The weekend I spent with Maddison wasn’t enough, and now that I
have her back, I will never fucking let her go. I will spend the rest of my
days doing whatever I can to be deserving of her. To worship her. To devote
every minute to her and Olive’s happiness.
I finally free the last snap of the garter and drag them down her legs
with her stockings, until she’s in absolutely nothing. Laid out in front of me
like a fucking goddess. I pick up her tiny foot in my hand and press a kiss
along the arch, then another on the back of her sculpted calf, and then the
delicate patch of skin behind her knee, hot, wet kisses that cause her to
shiver under my touch.
“Please.”
One simple word, a plea to end the ache between her thighs. Little does
she know; I’m only getting started.
 TWENTY FIVE

THE LIPS on this man should be a sin. Actually, there are so many things
about Briggs Wilson that should be completely damning. The way he looks
at me, like he could swallow me whole with just one bite, like the big bad
wolf, or the way that his lips seem to know each and every spot on my body
that makes me come alive.
A live wire of electricity runs through my body, a current that’s so
strong I can feel it all the way to the tips of my toes. A tingle that’s so
powerful, I could probably come with a single touch. His tongue travels up
my inner thigh, where he sucks the skin into his mouth, definitely leaving a
mark.
The same ones that decorated my body the last time we spent the night
together.
I remember looking at them as they painted my body, and wishing I
hadn’t walked away, even though I knew it was the right thing to do at the
time. Now, I remember vividly the way it felt to have him mark me.
Claim me.
The way that his tongue felt that night. I never forgot the way that he
made me feel, and I spent more nights than I should have desperately
wishing I could be with him for another night, but then Olive was my main
concern and what I wished and hoped for wasn’t really important any
longer.
I’m stark naked on the bed, completely laid out on display for him while
he kneels between my legs at the edge of the bed with his head buried
between my thighs. I can feel the way his eyes roam over me, leaving a trail
of fire behind.
“I dreamed about this pussy,” he whispers against the flesh of my thigh,
“so fucking pretty and pink, always ripe and wet for me.”
If it’s possible to combust from foreplay alone, then I’m well on my
way to an early grave, and it’s one I’ll gladly take right now if it means
getting relief for the throbbing between my thighs.
With each press of his lips against my thighs, my clit throbs. In sync
with my racing heart.
“God, I want to fucking look at you for hours.”
Using his fingers, he spreads me open wide, and I watch as his eyes
glaze over with desire.
Even though I was nervous and self-conscious about wearing the
lingerie for him, the second that I came into view, he did everything right,
everything to make me feel confident. Sexy. Desired.
I’m trying to wait patiently, fisting the sheets of my bed as he trails his
lips up my thighs, closer and closer to the spot I want his lips most.
Need his lips. Desperately, more than I’ve ever needed anything.
“Do you want me to put my mouth on you, Maddison?” he asks, his
grey blue eyes meeting mine from between my legs. His voice is low,
gravelly, and I feel it in the depths of my bones. I feel it in the throb
between my legs. On their own accord, my thighs squeeze together slightly
to try and stifle the ache.
“I want you to be a good girl for me and put your hands on the bed.
Don’t let go until I say, okay?”
“Okay.”
 He rewards my patience by swiping his tongue delicately along the
seam of my pussy, before using fingers to spread me open once more, and
then he takes another slow, languid lick that makes my back arch off the
bed.
His lips close around my clit, and he sucks it into his mouth.
“Oh god,” I cry, letting go of the sheets and lacing my fingers through
his hair.
“Hands on the bed, Maddison,” he commands. God, is it possible for
this man to be even sexier? To turn me on even more with just a few words.
It’s not the words that make me even hotter, it’s the commanding,
authoritative tone that he takes.
He stands from between my legs, and leans down, hovering over my
body with each of his hands on the side of my head, so close I can feel his
breath fan out over my lips.
“I want you to trust me, baby, can you do that?” he asks, “not just with
your heart, but with your body.”
His words thaw whatever apprehension that remained inside me. Since
Olive was born, he has shown me, over and over, that he’s a good man. And
now? I have to show him that I trust him., unequivocally.
In every way.
I nod slowly.
He smirks before grabbing my hands and lifting me up, then quickly
flipping me over on my stomach. His hands slide to my waist, and he pulls
my ass up, spreading my legs slightly, so the upper half of my body is
pushed down into the mattress, but my ass is high in the air. Fisting the
loose tie at his neck, he quickly makes work of untying it, sliding it from
around his neck.
“I need you to be a good girl, Maddison, or I’m going to have to use this
to keep you still.” He runs the satin tie across my ass, delicately. The soft,
cloud-like material causes me to shiver.
 "Okay?”
I nod, turning my cheek against the mattress to catch his eyes. Never in
my life have I been more turned on. I can feel how wet I am, and if I wasn’t
absolutely insane with lust, I would almost be embarrassed at the way I feel
the wetness dripping over my clit as I lie open and exposed for him.
Briggs walks up behind me and grabs a handful of my ass. Each cheek
fitting perfectly in his large palms as he spreads me open farther, and groans
when he does.
“You’re perfect, and you’re fucking mine, Maddison,” he whispers, then
licks from my clit to the sensitive, tight bud that’s never been touched by
anyone, before I can even respond.
A foreign, needy sound escapes my lips as he begins feasting on me. He
flattens his tongue on my clit then flicks it over and over until I’m pushing
back against his mouth, my hands fisting the sheets so hard that my
knuckles have turned white.
I’m going out of my mind. I feel the edges of my vision blurring black
as an orgasm threatens to swallow me whole.
“Good girl, hands on the mattress. Don’t come until I tell you to,
Maddison.”
Each time he says, “good girl,” my pussy clenches, and my clit throbs.
I never knew how much I liked praise until it fell from Briggs lips. How
much I needed to hear him call me a good girl and tell me how perfect I
look.
It makes me burn brighter, makes my skin feel as if I’m burning from
the inside.
“You like it when I call you a good girl, Maddison? I know you do
because your pussy is dripping for me,” he whispers, then buries his head
back between my legs as he eats me from behind.
“Please,” I beg as he works on my needy clit, “please, Briggs.”
 Pushing a finger inside me, I clench around him as he thrusts deeper,
rubbing against the hypersensitive flesh of my G-spot. I’ve spent years
trying to find that very spot myself, and Briggs finds it the second he slides
his fingers inside me.
“You’re so tight, Maddison, Goddamnit.” He groans. Looking back, I
watch as he palms his cock through his pants roughly, and I’m so close to
disobeying him and letting go.
“I’m so close, I’m going to fall over the edge at any moment.”
He slides another finger inside me and curls them both up, then brings
his mouth to my clit as he sucks while fucking me with his fingers.
“Come on my tongue,” he says.
When he grazes his teeth along my clit, I detonate.
Crying out against the sheets, coming so hard that, for a moment, my
body sways, my back arches against his mouth, and I let go.
“That’s it, baby, fuck yeah.”
I shake and tremble with the power of my orgasm. Briggs knows
exactly how to play my body as he pulls every ounce of pleasure from me,
until I’m a pile of bones. I fall into a heap on the bed, my legs too heavy to
hold me up any longer.
Briggs walks over and pushes my sweat-soaked, now tangled hair out of
my face. “Was that okay? I might have went too far too-”
“No.” I place my finger over his lips that are still glistening with my
wetness. It coats the short stubble of his chin and suddenly makes me want
him again, even though I just had my first orgasm in what felt like months.
“It was perfect. I loved everything about it.”
He nods, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, then sucks my
finger into his mouth playfully, circling his tongue around the tip. It
reminds me of what I’d like to do to him now, if I had an ounce of energy
left inside me.
 “Good, because do you know how long I’ve waited for this? Fucking
dreamed about it since the night at the inn? How many times I dreamt of
this exact moment?”
I nod because I know exactly what he means because I have too. Even
though I shouldn’t have, I dreamed of him for months. The taste of his
tongue, the feel of his lips as they brushed against my body.
He stands in front of the bed and begins to unbutton the white, starched
shirt. Every button he frees, opens the shirt up farther, exposing the flat
expanse of his chest. The abs I begin to count, but lose track somewhere
around six, when the dark mat of hair, just under his belly button, comes
into view.
They call it a happy trail for a reason, and suddenly I want my tongue
tracing it. Arousal snakes up my body as he undresses in front of me. I can
hardly believe that this man is mine.
“Stop looking at me like that, baby,” he rasps. His fingers begin to
unhook his belt, letting it fall free just as he pops open the button of his
slacks and lowers the zipper.
It’s like a show, just for me, and my thighs clench together in
anticipation. Sitting up on my elbows, I tug my bottom lip between my
teeth and look up through my lashes. “Like what?”
His eyes darken, heat searing through them. “Like you want to get
fucked.”
Those dirty words make me pant with anticipation. I do want that; I
want it more than anything. Brazenly, I let my legs fall open slightly,
exposing my center that I know is still pulsing from his mouth, and watch
as the small thread of resolve he has, snaps.
He drags his pants down his hips, taking his briefs with them, then kicks
them aside, standing in front of me completely naked.
My eyes bulge as I see how impossibly thick, and hard, he is, bobbing
up at me. The tiniest amount of precum seeping from the tip. How is it
possible that I’ve forgotten how big and girthy he is?
“Not gonna lie, babe, this is doing great things for my ego.” His voice
breaks through my perusal.
“You got to look at me.” I sit up completely so that I’m eye-level with
his cock, staring up at him under my lashes while his chest heaves.
Up and down. Steadily.
“It’s only fair that I get a chance to as well.”
I reach out a trembling hand, and gently brush my fingers along the
velvet skin of his cock. When I tenderly wrap my hand around him, he lets
out a strangled hiss, immediately dropping his head back, overcome with
pleasure.
I’ve never seen anything sexier in my life. Briggs has this raw
masculinity about him. He commands attention, without every speaking a
word.
The sounds of his groaning send chills down my spine.
I’m intoxicated. Completely drunk on his scent, his touch…him
Bringing my lips to his cock, I trace my tongue along the underside of
his thick head as I wrap both my hands around his length.
He bends slightly and tweaks my sensitive nipples between his fingers,
rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, and I swear… I almost come
apart, just from that.
“You’re so responsive,” he murmurs, “I fucking love it.”
I continue to tease him with my tongue, flattening it against his slit,
tasting the salty bead that glistens on it. My lips wrap around his head in an
“O” that has him groaning and fisting my hair.
“Baby, as much as I want you to do this every damn day for the rest of
my life, I have to be inside you.”
He stops my mouth before I can even start, gently pulling me off of him.
Leaning down, his lips seal over mine, kissing me hard, stirring the arousal
inside of me until it burns even brighter.
 My body feels wound tight after an entire night of touches and silent
promises.
Briggs tenderly lays me back on the bed beneath him, and even though I
can see the hunger in his eyes, he takes his time.
He doesn’t rush.
“I want to savor this,” he rasps, reading my mind. “You’re finally
mine.”
I nod and slide my hands down his chest, to the taut abs of his stomach,
raking my nails through the thin strip of hair that has my core tingling in
anticipation.
As he settles over me, he brings his lips to my jaw and traces a path to
my earlobe then sucks it into his mouth, causing my nails to sink into the
muscles of his forearms.
I’m dizzy with need, so much so that the room begins to swim around
me. My eyes snap shut as I breathe, trying to calm the quake inside my
chest.
“I need you, Briggs, please.”
He lifts his head, his steel eyes capturing mine before he nods,
entwining our hands together then lifting them above my head, gently
nudging his cock against me. As the slick head slides against my clit,
blinding pleasure snakes down my spine.
I feel like I can’t take another moment of teasing; I’m already wound so
tightly I’m going to snap.
Releasing one of my hands, he guides his cock to my opening and
pushes inside slightly, causing us both to hiss. It shouldn’t feel this good to
have him pressing inside of me, to have his thick head stretching me.
Grasping my hips, he thrusts forward gently, handling me so tenderly,
like I’ll shatter beneath his touch. Finally, he thrusts deeper, filling me
completely, circling his hips to grind against my sensitive clit.
 It’s almost too much, the pleasure building inside of me, threatening to
detonate at any moment.
“Briggs, oh god,” I cry, as he continues to thrust slowly, and deep inside
of me.
His touch is gentle yet possessive.
Sweet yet wicked.
Desperate yet soft.
Much like who he is. Briggs Wilson is nothing like I thought he was,
and everything more.
Lifting my leg higher, to hook on his hip, he begins to fuck me.
While it’s still everything I desperately need, it’s rough, and passionate,
and intimate in a way that’s only ours.
The way his lips trail along my skin, the grunts that mix with my own
moans of pleasure.
He’s an enigma, and I’m hopelessly losing the battle not to fall for him.
Suddenly, he pulls out of me, then flips me onto my stomach, and hauls
my hips up to him, grabbing fistfuls of my ass and pulling me back against
him.
“I fucking love you like this.” He groans as he lines his cock up and
plunges back inside of me, then drops his head to my back. “So fucking
perfect.”
Not that I could possibly form words at this point, not with him so deep
inside me, filling me wholly, stealing any rational thought.
Pulling out almost completely, he slams back inside, fucking me so hard
that my breasts shake with each thrust. He fucks me rough, and with
reckless abandon. It’s the most erotic moment of my life, watching him
completely lose control.
“I’m…” I breathe, “I’m coming,”
My eyes squeeze shut as I shatter, splintering apart beneath his touch,
my orgasm building with each surge of his hips slapping against mine. He
stills behind me, planting himself impossibly deep as he comes on a roar.
“Fuck, Maddison,” he pants, grasping my hips so hard that there will
probably be bruises tomorrow, and I want all of them.
I want him to mark my body just like that night.
I’m soaring, higher and higher, trembling from the sheer power of this
orgasm. Finally, as the aftershocks rock through my body, I slowly float
back down from pure ecstasy, tethered to the Earth.
There are orgasms and then there are… whatever that was.
Euphoric.
Briggs kisses a path down my spine before he pulls out of me, and I feel
the bed dip with his departure. I sink down into the mattress, suddenly too
exhausted to hold myself up any longer. I’m half asleep when Briggs
reenters the room and I feel a warm, soothing rag between my legs as he
cleans me up, then puts it into the hamper, before sliding into bed next to
me.
He gathers me in his arms and holds me against his chest, both of our
hearts still racing.
“I know this might not be the best time, but I think… you and Olive
need to move in with me.”
“Briggs…” I start, but he silences me with a kiss.
“Listen, your lease is up in three weeks, and I just spotted something
questionable growing under the sink when I grabbed that rag. I’m not
saying marry me, I’m just saying I have this huge house with plenty of
space for the two of you, and it gives me more time with Olive. And you.”
This isn’t the first time we’ve discussed this, and honestly… my
defenses have been completely worn down. Maybe it’s because I’m sated
and in post-orgasm bliss, or because he’s right, and I’m sick of living here
with Olive.
She deserves a better home, and Briggs is willing to give it to her.
“Okay.”
 He looks down at me with a wide, boyish grin. “Really?”
I nod. “But I still think we should take things as they come.”
“We will babe, we will.”
I just… if we move in, now more than ever, I know that I have to have
the conversation with him about me being The Puck Bunny. I have to stop
being afraid of the outcome. I know I do and pushing it off will only make it
worse. And even so… I keep pushing off the inevitable, because I’m
terrified to lose him.
The last thing I think before I drift off to sleep, warm and secure in his
arms, is that as soon as we’re settled, and everything’s done. Then I’ll tell
him. It’s beyond time.
 TWENTY SIX

“THIS WAS A FUCKING GREAT IDEA.” Graham smirks, puffing his

chest out proudly as we get Olive strapped against him in the baby carrier.
Leaning his head down slightly, he tells Olive, “You know, Olive-you, this
might be the best idea I’ve ever had. Who knows, we might leave here with
a new aunt.”
I roll my eyes. I swear becoming a father has granted me an abundance
of patience and that’s the only thing that saves Graham on the daily.
“I can’t believe you’re letting him wear her,” Asher mumbles, clearly
annoyed that he didn't get to.
“Uh, he asked Maddison, not me. She forced me,” I grumble. Asshole
knew exactly what he was doing and went straight to her mother. It didn’t
help that Maddison looked at me with those gold-flecked eyes that steal my
fucking breath, and she did it while still nestled in my arms after arguably
the best sex of my entire life.
I got played.
“Can you blame a guy?” Graham reaches up and covers Olive’s ears.
“You fuckheads are constantly hogging my girl, and sometimes, I gotta do
what I gotta do.”
He removes his hands then pinches her cheeks lightly while she
giggles.
 “Tell me again how you finally convinced Maddison to move into your
place?” Hudson asks.
I shrug. "Her lease was up and that place is a walking fucking disaster.
Shit is always breaking, and her apartment maintenance guy always claims
he’ll come by, but I’ve fixed more shit in the time I’ve been there then he
probably has since she’s lived there.” I grunt. “Not to mention, we’ve got
Pornstar Paul above her bedroom, and it’s gotten to the point where he’s
keeping Olive up.”
Hudson’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Surprised you didn’t pay him
a visit by now.”
“I’m trying to make better choices. You know, for Olive.”
He nods. “Noble.”
“Alright, you ready to go?” Graham asks, hands on his hips with Olive
secured tightly to his chest. She giggles when he does a little jiggle,
bouncing her up and down.
Next week, officially at least, Olive and Maddison are moving in, which
means that the guys and I have less than seven days to turn my house from
a bachelor pad into a baby-proof, livable house for a family. Honestly, I’ve
spent more nights on Maddison’s couch the last few months than I have in
my own bed, and I’m hoping that I can convince Maddison to sleep with me
in an actual bed.
One that doesn’t have Pornstar Paul right above it, along with a moldy
air vent.
“What’s the plan?”
We’re standing in front of the furniture store, so I can pick out a new set
for Olive while Maddison is with Ty and Kyle for lunch. I haven’t exactly
told her yet that I’m buying Olive new furniture, but I’m hoping she’ll be
okay with it. We plan to meet up afterwards.
“We get in, and we get out. No one, especially Graham, touches
anything.”
 Graham rolls his eyes, but still nods.
Today’s the day Reed should be here, but he’s taking Evan on a guys’
trip to go fishing for the first time, so I’m left alone to deal with these guys.
The four of us stroll through the entrance of the furniture store, and
quickly follow the signs to the nursery furniture. Surprisingly, it takes less
than twenty minutes to pick out a set, pay for it and arrange for it to be
delivered to the house.
“Wow, that was quick,” Hudson says. He’s been surprisingly quiet
lately, and I make a mental note to see what’s up whenever we’re alone
again.
“Way easier than I thought it would be,” I agree.
“That means we get to head to the rink so coach and the rest of the staff
can meet Olive,” I say, pulling my phone out and shooting a quick text to
Maddison, letting her know that we’ve finished up earlier than anticipated,
and I’ll see her at the rink.
Making our way to my truck, we take Olive out of the carrier, then get
her into her car seat and are on our way to the rink. Traffic is light, so we
pull into the parking lot, just as Olive has fallen asleep in her car seat.
Look, I’m not saying I've gone soft, because I haven’t. I’m still manly,
and in control of my emotions.
Seeing my best friends, my brothers by choice, love my daughter the
same way that I do… it’s a feeling I’ve never known and when I glance
back in the rearview, I see Olive’s fallen asleep with her tiny hand wrapped
around Graham’s finger as he rests his hand on her car seat.
It’s fucking cute.
Not that I’ll tell him that, but I can’t help but think it.
I pull into my designated spot then hop out, walking around to get
Olive’s carrier off of the base, like a pro might I add.
You know, when I first found out I was going to be a father, I was
overwhelmed and happy as fuck, of course, but I was also terrified. I found
out in the span of five minutes. But I also knew that kids weren’t easy, but
they were forgiving.
Olive doesn’t need me to be perfect, she just needs me to be a good
daddy to her, and each day we spend together is a learning curve. She
teaches me things I never knew every single day.
Starting with how complicated it can be to unhook an infant carrier
from a car seat base. Thankfully, we’ve had a few months of practice, and
now it’s second-nature.
Inside the rink, we find Coach Evans in his office, having a heated
phone conversation that he promptly ends when he sees us walk in with an
infant carrier.
“Well, I’ll be damned, I didn’t think I’d ever meet her, Wilson.”
I smirk. “She’s a hard girl to nail down. Ask Graham.”
Graham grumbles at my comment, then looks down at his phone and
says something about having to take care of something then walks out of
the room.
Coach Evans is the guy who replaced Liam, and he couldn’t be any
more different. Tall, wide chest and shoulders, he looks like he belongs on a
football field. He’s around sixty, with balding gray hair and a slightly
crooked nose.
He’s also one of the best coaches we’ve ever had. He’s loyal,
determined, and patient. Pushes all of us to our limits because he knows
what we’re capable of. I hated to see Liam go, since we’d formed a
friendship, and he was there for me during my most trying time, but his
family comes first.
"She looks like an angel, Wilson, a little baby doll. Sure you made
something so perfect?” He grins cheekily, teasing me.
I scoff. “Trust me, she looks every bit like her mother.”
“Nah, I think she definitely has your nose and chin, but the eyes are
Maddison’s,” Hudson interjects.
 We talk with Coach for a few more minutes before walking back out to
the rink. Hudson and Asher go off to find Graham, while I look around for
Maddison.
I find her standing near the ice, talking with one of the guys on the
maintenance crew. She’s listening intently to whatever he’s saying then
throws her head back and laughs. He reaches out and places his arm on her
hand, and it makes a bubble of jealousy well inside me.
It’s the first time I can ever remember feeling like this. Jealous.
Even when I found out about Beau… and… I wasn’t jealous. Truthfully,
I didn't even care that she was leaving me for my brother. Our relationship
was stale at best, and something to pass the time for both of us. We were
comfortable, and when you’re comfortable, you think, why change things?
I didn’t want to rip my brother’s throat out because he was actually
sleeping with her; I wanted to rip it out because he betrayed the trust
between us. He broke a lifelong bond that cannot be repaired.
That’s the reason I hate Beau and have no intention of ever forgiving
him.
“Hey babe,” I say with a wide smile when I walk up.
Devons’s eyes meet mine, and he shrinks slightly, then his eyes dart
back to Maddison.
“Oh what’s up, Wilson? I was just talking to Maddison about Olive.
She’s cute. Congratulations.”
I grunt a thank you and nod, relieved when he walks the other fucking
way.
Maddison lifts a brow. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“You were rude to him.” She crosses her arms over her chest and
narrows her eyes, “Wait, are you jealous? Briggs… jealous?”
There’s a teasing tone in her voice, but I just shrug. “You’re mine.”
 I say it simply, because that’s it. No one else will ever touch what’s
mine. I set Olive gently down on the ground in her carrier, then pull
Maddison to me and smash my lips against hers in a demanding kiss that I
know will show Devon that he stands no fucking chance, ever.
And I'll break all his limbs if he even looks at her again.
Maddison pulls back, breathless, and looks up at me, her hands
caressing my shoulders.
“You’re insane, you know that?”
"Maybe. Maybe not. Listen, I wanna introduce you to a few people and
then I have a surprise for you at my house. I was thinking maybe we could
go by there and spend the night?”
She’s silent for a few beats, but then nods her head yes. “I’d love to.”
Sliding my hand in hers, I pick Olive up with my free hand then take
her around the rink, introducing her to various staff members and to coach’s
wife who's come to meet him for lunch. Finally, we put Olive back into her
car seat and drive the thirty-minutes to my house.
The entire drive she’s quiet, but I simply give her the time to process.
There's a lot changing at once and even if she’s okay with things happening,
I know how hard it can be to adjust.
When we pull up to the house, I open the garage door and pull inside.
“You ready?”
She nods, looking apprehensive. “I’m nervous.”
I laugh. “Let’s get Olive settled and then I’ll show you.”
Maddison hops down from the truck and gets Olive from her carrier. I
grab the diaper bag, and together, we go inside the door that leads into the
kitchen.
“Sweet girl is awake,” she coos, running her hand over Olive’s curly
blondish hair. I think it’ll get darker; it already has since she was born.
“Perfect, she can come and see Mommy’s surprise.”
Maddison looks at me, and I just grin.
 “Come on, this way,” I tell her, leading her down the hallway and up the
set of stairs that leads to the second-floor landing.
The second floor has the master bedroom and master bath, along with
what will be Olive’s nursery, and another room.
A room that I had designed especially for Maddison.
I stop in front of the door and turn toward her and Olive. “It’s not a huge
deal.”
She eyes me skeptically. I swing the door open and reveal the room
inside. It’s a sleek, feminine office designed with Maddison in mind. I know
she’s taking a semester off from school, but she needs a space where she
can work uninterrupted and feel creative.
Her journalism degree will award her many opportunities, and since she
and Olive are moving in with me, I wanted her to have a space that was just
hers. To study, to work on her side job, whatever she wants.
“Briggs,” she whispers, her voice hoarse and low. “Did you.. what…”
she trails off, turning in a full circle, her eyes dragging over every surface.
There’s a white rustic desk in the center of the room, equipped with a
brand-new iMac, printer, notebooks, pens, everything she could possibly
need. On the walls, the artwork matches the rest of the room. It’s bright,
comfortable and exactly what I would imagine Maddison working in.
“Don’t freak out, baby. I just wanted you to have a place where you can
work, uninterrupted, that's just yours.” I gesture toward the wall of built-ins
on the right side of the room. “These shelves are for you to fill up with your
books. I noticed that you had a small shelf at your apartment, and you
mentioned you like to read.”
Maddison rushes over to me, with Olive still cradled in her arms, and
throws her arm around my neck, pressing herself tightly against me. I slide
my arm around the small of her back and hold her.
“Thank you. This…it’s too much. I don’t know how to accept it,” she
says quietly.
 “Well, it’s done, baby, I can't send it all back. Now you’ve gotta use it.”
When she pulls back, there are tears in her eyes. She sniffles softly as
they spill quietly down her face.
“Hey,” I say, wiping away a stray tear, “don’t cry. It’s nothing.”
She shakes her head over and over. “No, it’s everything, Briggs. This is
the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me, and I just don’t
know what I did to deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve the world, and I’ll do everything I can to give it to you,
Maddison.”
If she only knew the lengths I would go to make them happy; I’d do
anything for her and Olive. I’d move the Earth if that’s what it took.
“Thank you, Briggs, for being the most amazing man. I hope you know
what this means to me.”
I nod. To me, it was just another thing to make her happy and
comfortable here.
But her being here? It means the fucking world to me.
 TWENTY SEVEN

“MY ARMS FEEL LIKE JELLO,” I moan, sinking into Briggs’s plush
couch, my muscles aching from moving boxes. Okay, the guys did most of
the work, but I’m seriously out of shape.
I should have taken getting back into the gym more seriously, but
#momlife. I’d much prefer to use my spare minutes catching up on sleep or
taking a bubble bath rather than killing myself on a treadmill and that’s a
flaw I’ve got to live with.
Part of me is still trying to come to terms with the fact that I live with
Briggs now. I’ve been overthinking it since we discussed it, and logically…
yes, it makes sense. It’s just a huge step in any relationship, let alone one
that carries secrets.
But, all of my worries aside, it’s what’s best for Olive, Briggs and me
with my lease ending. There was no way in hell I was going to renew it, and
with the housing market as tremulous as it is right now, this definitely felt
like the smartest move.
“At least everything’s here and we’re done,” Briggs says, pulling my
tired and aching foot into his lap, where he starts to rub the tender arch with
his fingers.
“Oh God, that feels heavenly,” I mutter. I don’t even have the energy to
open my eyes right now.
 One point for Baby Daddy.
The last few days between us have been… amazing. Unlike I ever
imagined it would be, and I know that the clock is ticking. I lie awake at
night, tossing and turning, trying to formulate a plan of what to say to fix
the mess that I’ve undoubtedly created for us.
“I guess tonight would be a good night to use the jacuzzi tub?” Briggs
says, his brow lifted.
Jacuzzi tub? How did I miss that on the grand tour?
“Okay, I totally missed that when you showed me around. I guess
because you could fit three of my apartments in this house. I’m going to
need a map.”
Briggs laughs, low and throaty. “You’ll get used to it, baby, this will be
great for both you and Olive. You won’t have to deal with things breaking
all of the time, and we have no noisy neighbors. Not to mention that I want
both of you here. It makes me happy.”
This man deserves all of the happiness.
I nod. “It makes me happy too. It was really sweet and thoughtful that
you decorated Olive’s room. I love it.”
“I was nervous that you wouldn’t, but I figured we could paint it
together? I didn’t want to just assume pink or purple since she’s a girl,
maybe she likes yellow.” He shrugs, suddenly looking embarrassed, so I sit
up and climb into his lap.
My aching thighs settle on each side of his hips before I bring my lips to
his and kiss him, soft and sweet, showing him how much I appreciate the
fact that he always thinks of both Olive and me.
“You’re amazing, Briggs,” I whisper against his lips, inhaling his clean,
woodsy scent.
He pulls back, his pale-blue eyes holding mine, searching for something
that I can’t place before the corner of his lips turn up in a small grin.
 “Go upstairs, put all that girly shit in the bath, and relax. I’ll bring you a
glass of wine after I check on Olive.”
I shake my head. “Briggs, no, I have so much to d-”
He places his finger over my lips, then pulls me to him, kissing me until
I’m breathless. Using his massive hand, he swats at my ass enough to make
me giggle.
“Go. Wasn’t asking, babe.”
Oh, so he’s Alpha Briggs tonight. My favorite.
I kiss him again then scramble off his lap, before he can swat at me
again, and follow his instructions, making my way up the massive staircase
to the landing that leads into the master bedroom.
The Briggs’s bedroom is everything I would expect it to be, clean and
organized. Warm neutral tones. A massive king-size bed settled in the
middle of the room made of sleek, dark oak alongside matching
nightstands.
Masculine and still comfortable and inviting, with a touch of luxury.
I love it.
I drag my eyes along the wood of the bed, familiar nerves resurfacing
since this will be our bed.
Not just Briggs’s bed. Our bed. Where we’ll sleep together every single
night, aside from the nights he’s on the road during the season.
Shaking my head, I quickly walk into the master bedroom, determined
not to let my nerves get the best of me and potentially ruin our first night in
the house.
The master bathroom is much like the bedroom, sleek and luxurious.
Everything is modern and updated, with a hint of masculinity in the colors.
I walk over to the jacuzzi tub and almost groan out-loud when I see the jets
circling the tub.
This might be my new favorite part of Briggs’s- I mean… our house.
 My other favorite part would be the movie room in the basement.
Equipped with massive, comfy chairs that seem to swallow you when you
sink down in them, and a projection screen that takes up the entire wall. I
have already been dreaming of all the Hallmark shows I’ll watch there.
I look in the box of bathroom stuff that we brought from my apartment
and I don't see any of the bubble baths or soaps that I packed.
Crap. Briggs must have unpacked it, and I don’t know where. I begin
opening all of the cabinets and find nothing but extra toilet paper and manly
stuff.
Shutting the cabinet, I walk back out to the hallway and am about to go
down the stairs to search for Briggs when I hear soft murmuring coming
from Olive’s room. Quietly, I walk closer to her room until I get to the
doorway and peek around the corner.
Briggs is sitting in the new rocking chair glider he bought for Olive’s
room, cradling her little body in his arms. The room is dark, with only her
projector casting tiny ballerinas onto the ceiling, barely illuminating the two
of them. He’s gazing down at her with so much love, so much adoration in
his eyes that it steals the breath from my lungs.
I don’t want him to know I’m here, witnessing this moment. It’s so pure,
so perfect, that I don’t want to ruin it. I cover my mouth to bite back the sob
that threatens to spill over my lips.
He gently swipes his thumb across her cheek as he rocks her, gazing
down into her eyes.
“You know how much daddy loves you, Olive Juice? More than you’ll
ever know. I’d do anything in the world to see you smile. Anything to make
you happy. Do you know that? That no matter what, Daddy will always be
here. I’ll never leave you, no matter how old you get. Even when you think
Daddy isn’t cool and you don’t want me to give you goodnight kisses, or
piggyback rides. I’ll love you even more then.”
 Oh god, my heart. I feel the hot sting of tears as they well in my eyes.
Watching him rock our daughter, stroking her face so tenderly, it’s making
my knees weak.
“And you know what Olive? One day, I’m gonna marry your mama.”
I suck in a breath beneath my palm at his words.
“I’m crazy about her, just like I am you, and one day, when you have
brother and sisters running around to play with, you’ll still be my favorite
girl. My always girl. Daddy loves you, more than anything.”
Somewhere during the middle of his talk, Olive’s eyes drifted closed
and she’s fast asleep in her daddy’s arms, completely soothed by the sound
of his voice. When he gets up to place her in her crib, I swipe away the tears
and quickly dash back to the bathroom before he can discover I’ve
overheard him.
I turn the hot water on, then add a small dash of cold, quickly
undressing and gingerly stepping into the water. Once the tub is full, I turn
off the faucet and then turn on the jets.
If my stomach wasn’t in knots, I could probably enjoy it, but the knot
seems to tighten with each breath I take.
I feel sick to my stomach from the guilt. It’s time and pushing it off is
only going to make everything worse. Lying back against the back of the
tub, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to breathe, slow and steady. With the
lull of the jets, I drift off.
“Baby,” Briggs whispers.
I open my eyes slowly and look up to see him standing over me. “Oh
God, I fell asleep. I’m sorry.”
I try to sit up out of the now lukewarm water, but he places a firm hand
on my shoulder. “Stay.”
He reaches down, the muscles of his forearm on display as he turns off
the jets and lets the water drain, but then turns on the hot water once more.
When he stands and reaches behind his neck and pulls his shirt off, my
mouth goes dry.
No matter how many times I’ve seen or felt this body beneath my
hands, I’ll never stop being in awe by the sight of him. His body is
perfection, a washboard of abs that dip into a tight V at the waistband of his
jeans. I watch as he pops the button of his jeans, unzipping them, then drags
those and the tight black briefs beneath, down his hips. After that, he steps
inside the tub with me.
Its massive size is meant for more than one person, and even though I’m
still slightly self-conscious, I love when it’s just the two of us.
He sits across from me, his back resting next to the faucet. He pulls me
between his legs and rubs the sole of my foot, paying extra attention to the
sore arch like he did earlier tonight.
“You’re quiet, everything okay?” he asks.
I nod. “Just tired. On sensory overload.”
His hand stills on my foot, and I shake my head vehemently and narrow
my eyes playfully. “If you stop…”
Laughing, he starts to rub again, and I sink further into his touch.
“I’m glad you’re here, Madds. It feels like home.”
It never fails, Briggs always knows exactly what to say to make me melt
and become putty in his hands. Instead of answering, I sit up then climb
into his lap, settling against him. I lean close, my nipples brushing against
his chest as I gently press my lips to his. His hands slide up my ass, to my
back as he presses me further against him.
“Me too,” I whisper, pulling back.
Right now, I don't want to talk. I don't want to think about the secret that
could tear us apart. I don’t want to feel the anxiousness in my stomach at
the thought of losing him.
It was supposed to be a fling, one weekend and we go our separate
ways, and now… it’s so much more.
 I know without a doubt, I’m falling in love with Briggs Wilson, and
there is nothing I could do to stop it.
All I want to do is lose myself in him, and tomorrow, that’s when I’ll
tell him. I’ll come clean and pray that he won't hate me, and that he'll stay.
My kiss becomes more frantic, more desperate, and he pulls his lips
from mine and looks at me.
He drops to my nipple and sucks it into his mouth. I arch into him,
threading my hands through his hair. The feel of his tongue as he lavishes
the tight peak of my nipple is incredible.
“Briggs,” I moan out loud. My hips writhe in his lap with each pull of
my nipple. “I can’t wait, I need you,” I plead.
Right now, I need him inside me. I rise on my knees and reach down
under the water, pressing the head of his cock against my entrance, then
place my hands on his shoulders as his hands fly to my waist.
Slowly, I sink down on him, inch by inch, until he fills me completely.
He drops his forehead against my chest, groaning when he bottoms out
inside me.
“Fuck, baby, you’re going to kill me.”
I don’t answer, only swivel my hips and begin riding him. Slow and
deep, I rock against him. The water of the tub sloshes against the side as I
take him even deeper. Together, we groan in unison.
Briggs’s hands on my hips guide me up and down on his cock, at a
torturously slow pace, all while he kisses me everywhere his lips can reach.
My nipples, the soft underside of my breast, my collarbone, a fiery path up
my neck as he nips at my earlobes.
All of the small touches are what set me on fire.
The languid pace of our lovemaking, combined with the way my clit
grinds against his pubic bone with each swivel of my hips, has me wound as
tightly as I can possibly go.
I feel the orgasm inside of me cresting. Building and building.
 Blinded by pleasure, overcome by the fire flaming inside of me, my
movements become frantic, desperate to feel the connection with Briggs, to
feel him come inside me, marking me as his.
When he reaches below the water and rubs his thumb against my clit,
while tugging at my overly sensitive nipple, I explode.
My head flies back as I cry out. I squeeze my eyes shut as fireworks
erupt behind my lids, my body tightening as pleasure vibrates inside me. I
feel weightless, euphoric, as my orgasm powers on. Seconds later, I hear
Briggs groan, deep and throaty, before thrusting up and letting go.
His hips piston slowly as he comes, hot cum flooding inside me, coating
my insides, and it only seems to amplify the crest of my pleasure.
After the room comes back into view, and my heart rate slows, I open
my eyes and find Briggs watching me with a small smile.
He feels it too. This wasn’t just sex.
Briggs and I made love, and no matter what happens tomorrow, I’ll
never forget this moment. Leaning forward, I place my head on his shoulder
as his arms wrap around my body, holding me against him tightly. We stay
like that until the water goes cold, holding onto each other. I listen to the
steady thrum of his heartbeat, counting each one, and praying that I can
save us before it’s too late.
 TWENTY EIGHT

IN THE END, it’s Maddison who cements my decision to tell my family

about Olive. That along with the copious amount of guilt that is bearing
down on my chest every time I get a text or phone call from my mother.
It’s not her fault that my brother ripped our family apart, and my father
tore the last thread that was holding together whatever we used to be. My
mother isn’t the villain in our story.
Yesterday, I called her and asked if I could come over today, that I had
something extremely important to discuss with her. Single-handedly the
most important thing in my life, but she doesn’t know that yet.
Putting my truck in park in the driveway, my hands clench around the
wheel as my gaze swings to Maddison. She reaches out her hand for me,
offering me comfort. “If you’re not ready, then we can do it another day,”
she says quietly.
I shake my head.
No, it’s time. It’s been time, but my own reservations stopped me from
doing the right thing.
That’s not who I am. Not anymore.
“I need to do this. Not just for them, but for myself. And for Olive.”
She nods, squeezing my hand lightly. “Okay, whatever you think. I
support you.”
 After getting Olive out of the car, I swing her diaper bag onto my
shoulder and clutch her seat in my hand so hard my knuckles turn white.
“It’s going to be okay, Briggs,” Maddison whispers next to me,
squeezing my hand again before reaching out to ring the doorbell.
Then… we wait.
This house is full of memories. I spent my childhood here, on this very
porch, racing trucks down the stairs, across the rail of the wraparound
porch. Just to the right of the porch, the massive oak tree that’s older than
all of us combined is where I broke my arm for the first time. The pond
behind the house is where I picked up a stick and skated for the first time.
I fell in love with hockey here.
It’s my childhood home, and now those memories are tainted with my
brother’s betrayal.
The door swings open, and my mother stands on the other side. Her
graying blonde hair is pulled back in her signature bun, and she’s wearing a
simple blouse with jeans. She’s barefoot, as always, and it reminds me of
the old days, when things were easier.
“Briggs, what-" She pauses then, her eyes dropping to the infant carrier
in my hand. Her gaze darts back to me, then to Maddison.
“Hi Mom. This is Maddison…and Olive, my daughter.”
Mom lets out a strangled sob. Her hand flies to her mouth to cover the
sound, as fresh tears well in her eyes.
“What do you mean, your daughter...Briggs?”
“Is it okay if we come in, Mom?”
She nods. “Oh God, I’m sorry, I’m just in shock. Please come in.”
I didn’t mean to drop a bomb on her at the door, but I couldn’t just bring
a baby into her home without an explanation.
I realize once I step over the threshold, that it’s been years since I’ve
been inside my parents’ house. Of course, I knew how long it had been, but
I didn’t let it actually penetrate the wall around my heart for so long that I
didn’t feel the full effect of it until now.
Years since I’ve seen my father, or been inside the home I grew up in.
I didn’t expect to feel… regret. But I do.
Following behind Mom, she leads us into the den that looks exactly like
it did three years ago. The same worn, leather recliner sits in the corner with
the same worn and soft spot where my Dad always sits still present.
Except right now, it’s empty. And that means he probably left because I
was coming.
That’s okay. I didn’t come here to try and repair anything with my
father. I’m here for my mom alone.
Maddison and I sit together on the love seat, opposite my mom, who
looks like she might actually faint.
“Take a breath, Mom,” I tell her quietly.
Her eyes dart down to Olive, who’s still sleeping in her seat. She had a
tummy ache last night, keeping us both up most of the night, so the nap is
much needed and it gives us time to talk.
I reach out and pick up Maddison’s hand, lacing my fingers with hers
before taking a deep breath.
“Olive is your granddaughter. Maddison and I just recently moved in
together, and… she’s the reason I’m here. Her and Olive.”
“Briggs, how could you hide this from us?” my mother says, emotion
written in her strained features. “A daughter? God, Briggs.”
She stands from the couch and paces a small spot in front of the couch,
as she runs her hands along her head.
“I just want to be clear, that I don’t owe anything to anyone. My life is
my life, and what I choose to do with it has nothing to do with anyone else,
Mom.”
Her eyes dart up to meet mine, and I see them steadily fill with tears.
 “Look, Mom, I didn’t keep Olive from you to hurt you. After what I
went through with the media, after everything with Beau…I knew that I
needed to protect my daughter and keep her close to me. That’s all that
matters to me now, protecting Olive and making sure that nothing will ever
hurt her. That’s my job as her dad.”
Maddison squeezes my hand at the declaration, and it brings me
comfort. It’s not always easy to set boundaries, and I love my mom, with all
my heart, but I will always put my daughter first, and set boundaries to
ensure her safety and happiness are what matter now.
“I want you to be a part of her life. That’s… that’s why I’m here. I just
need you to understand that there have to be boundaries… after everything
that’s happened.”
Pausing her pacing, she looks up at me, hurt evident in her eyes. “You
think that I would… do anything to hurt her? My own granddaughter?”
“No, I don’t think that. People get hurt even when it isn’t anyone’s
intention. I just want there to be a clear understanding and to rebuild our
relationship, Mom. I want to be able to have trust.”
She shakes her head. “I would never do anything to hurt her.”
I nod. “I know.”
Maddison clears her throat quietly. “Would you… like to hold her?”
“I’d like that. Very much,” Mom responds. She walks over to her carrier
and gazes down at Olive, still asleep. “God, she’s just such a tiny little
thing. She’s beautiful.”
“That’s all her mama,” I agree.
“I see a lot of you in her too, Briggs. She has your nose.”
Maddison reaches down and gets Olive out of her seat, stroking her
cheek as she opens her eyes, sleepily, and gazes up at her with wide green
eyes that she definitely did get from her mother.
Once she’s fully awake, Maddison transfers her into my mom’s arms.
 “Hi Olive, I’m your grandma, but you can call me, Mimi.” She looks up
at Maddison and me. “Is that okay?”
Maddison nods. “Yes. My grandmother is Grams.”
Mom rocks Olive in her arms then brings her fingers to her belly and
tickles her gently until she giggles.
“Thank you, both of you, for bringing her to meet me. I want to be a
part of her life.”
“And you can be, Mom, I’m just.. I’m not ready to reconcile with Beau,
and I don’t want to feel pressured to do so. If I do decide to speak to him, I
want it to be on my terms and not like I’m being forced to.”
“I understand.”
The front door slams shut, and seconds later, my father is walking
through the living room. In the three years since I’ve seen him, he’s aged. I
guess we both have.
In the last three years, I’ve changed. I’m not the same man I was when I
walked out those doors, and fuck… I’m proud of it. I walked through hell
and have the scars to prove it.
I remember a specific night where I drank probably two fifths of
whiskey, was shitfaced out of my mind. I could barely even stand on my
own two feet and I picked a fight at a bar.
Don’t get me wrong, I knew even before I did it that I didn’t stand a
chance of walking out of there. That’s why I did it. I was so numb to
everything, so completely shut down to the world that I wanted to do
anything to… feel something. And picking a fight with a dude even bigger
than I was and getting my ass kicked? Well, that’s the kind of thing I would
feel.
I got arrested that night, spent the entire night in the drunk tank,
sobering up. Only when the alcohol wore off, did I really feel. I had a few
broken ribs, probably could’ve gotten some stitches, hell, I probably even
had a concussion.
 But the thing that hurt the most? It wasn’t the fact that I got the shit beat
out of me. It was the look of disappointment in my father’s eyes. I never
forgot it. Even now, I can still feel it.
I can still see it in his eyes.
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He told me that night he
was done, done watching me destroy my life and fuck up “the only good
thing I ever did” meaning, my hockey career.
He wasn’t wrong.
But…through all of that, he saw what I went through and never once
did he stray from Beau’s side. He stood by him and left me to pick up the
pieces of my life on my own.
I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him for that, but I'm here, and I put
the first foot forward.
“Dad,” I say.
“Son.”
He looks at Mom still rocking Olive in her arms then back at me.
“What’s going on?”
“This is my daughter, Olive, and my girlfriend, Maddison.”
I have to give it to him, the look of shock on his face is almost as strong
as his look of disappointment.
My father has always been stoic. A man of few words, and even less
affection. Since I was little, it’s always felt like a competition with my
brother for his love, and honestly… it’s exhausting.
“How’d this happen?” he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his
jeans. He’s wearing a Wolves jersey, my brother’s baseball team.
Always his biggest fan. That’ll never change.
“Does it really matter? She’s my daughter, and I’m extending a
proverbial olive branch to you if you want to be a part of her life.”
My father scoffs. “You think you can just erase everything that’s
happened in the past three years? How you’ve embarrassed our family and
for all the shit you’ve done?”
“Jason!” my mother hisses.
I hold my hand up. “No, let him,” I tell her.
“You haven't as much as shown your face at this house since that day,
Briggs, you can’t just waltz back in here and expect everyone to bow at
your feet. Daughter or not.”
He says it so flippantly, so without emotion, that it makes me want to
put my fist through a wall. But I won’t. Because, unlike him, I have
changed.
I’m a better man, and Olive has made me that way.
“I don’t expect anything from you.”
He shakes his head. “I knew this moment would come, and quite
frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself for putting your mother through
what you have.”
I let him continue, let him get it all off his chest, but I walk over and
gently take Olive from my mom’s arms, then begin putting her back into
her car seat. I wish I wouldn’t have come in the first place and subjected
Maddison or Olive to this shitshow.
Rising, I take one last look at my father. “Do you know what I’m
ashamed of? It’s that even after all this time, you’re still the same person
you always were. I feel sorry for you.”
With that, I turn on my heel and wrench the front door open, walking
down the stairs before I say something that I truly will regret.
It turns out that staying away from this house for the last three years
was the best decision I ever made. Not just for myself, but for the man I
want to be. The truth is, I didn’t need my father’s validation, hell, I don’t
need or want his approval or his love. What I needed was to know that I’m
a better man than I used to be, and that after all of this, I can live with the
person that I’ve become.
 I can’t say the same for him, and today was the final nail on an already
sealed coffin.
What I can say now is that I’m better off without him.
 TWENTY NINE

LOVE IS A NON-DISCRIMINATING EMOTION.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re prepared for it or not; it comes in and
knocks you clear off your feet.
I’d know. I realized in this moment, watching the man I’m head over
heels in love with, have his heart broken by his own father, that I’d do
anything in the world to make sure he never felt that way again.
Maybe that’s what makes me brave. Gives me the courage to do
something I’d probably never do before now. The sheer rage pumping
through my veins after witnessing what I did.
I’m halfway to the door before I spin around, my fists clenched at my
sides.
“If there’s anyone who should be ashamed, it’s you.”
His father’s jaw drops momentarily before he quickly closes it and goes
to speak, but I’m not done, I’m not anywhere near done.
“Do you even know that man out there?” I point toward the driveway
with a trembling finger. I’m shaking so badly; I can hardly keep my teeth
from chattering. Adrenaline has taken over, helping me feed off the rage I
feel. “Do you even know your own son? Or do you think you know the man
he used to be? You’re so blinded by whatever hate or hurt you’re holding on
to, that you can’t see the amazing son you have. He is kind, and selfless,
and compassionate. He’s the best father in the world, and he’s the best man
I’ve ever known. Everything he does, he thinks about us first. Whatever
decision he’s making. He’s stepped up and done everything in his power to
be the best dad that he can to that little girl, and you should be ashamed of
yourself for throwing his past in his face. The great thing about people?
They have the power to change. Not only themselves but the future.”
I’m panting by the time I’m done speaking as I back up toward the door.
“I hope one day that you realize what you’re missing out on, and you
change. Because right now? You don’t deserve him. You don't deserve our
daughter. You don’t’deserve his love. But don’t worry, Olive and I love him
enough to make up for it.”
Spinning on my heel, I turn and stalk out of the house, shutting the door
behind me. When I make it to the porch, Briggs is standing at the bottom of
the steps with a look I can’t read on his face.
“Did-d you hear all of that?” I swallow as I walk down the stairs, taking
each one carefully.
He nods, then I’m being pulled against him and his lips are on mine.
He answers me by the way his hands slide up my jaw into my hair as he
kisses me, deep and reassuring, and I feel it.
“You love me, huh?” He grins against my lips, his eyes shining with
amusement.
I can feel my cheeks heat under his gaze, but I shrug. “A little. I guess.”
Throwing his head back, he laughs.
“I guess I love you too, you know? Except, I have for a long time, and
I’m so fucking glad I can finally tell you. I love you, Maddison.”
“I love you, Briggs Wilson. Thank you for choosing me and Olive.”
“I’ll always choose you, baby. You and Olive are my always girls.”
His words penetrate my heart, and I almost lose it in his embrace. Right
here, I almost break down and tell him everything I’ve been holding inside,
but I can’t tell him something like that after what just happened with his
parents. Not after how hard it must have been for him to have his father
treat him that way.
“Let’s go home.”
“I thought you’d never ask.”

After we’re home and Olive is bathed and I’ve rocked her to sleep, I find
Briggs in our bed, shirtless with his laptop. He’s staring intently at the
screen with his brow furrowed.
Truthfully, a sight that feels too good to look at. His hair is still damp
from his shower, and when he looks up and sees me walk into the room, his
blue eyes seem to flare.
“Come here.”
I crawl into the bed next to him and slide under the plush, thick blanket,
nestling into his side. His arm comes around my shoulders, and his lips
press to the top of my head in a sweet kiss.
“I’m sorry that you had to hear that today,” he says against my hair.
Pulling back, I look up at him and shake my head. “Don’t you dare
apologize for him.”
“Honestly, that happening… it gave me a sense of closure. Things
between us always felt unfinished, and now, I know where he stands. And
that’s okay. If there’s anything that I’ve learned through all of this, Mads,
it’s that family is who you choose. It’s not just who is blood.”
His thumb runs absentmindedly along the flesh of my arm while he
talks, and I just listen.
“I appreciate you being there.” Reaching over to his nightstand, he turns
the bedside lamp off. “Get some sleep, baby, because tomorrow… I’m
taking you and Olive somewhere for the weekend. A surprise getaway. One
that includes a babysitter.”
 That causes me to sit upright.
My eyes are still adjusting to the dark, but I lift a brow. “A surprise? A
babysitter?”
He nods. “Yep. So go to sleep.”
“You can’t just tell me about a surprise and then go all alpha-y and tell
me to go to sleep.”
Briggs laughs, pulling me gently back down into his arms, snuggling me
against his side. “I can, and I did. Go to sleep. You’ll need all your energy
for what I have planned.”
Hmm. I glance over at the baby monitor and see all of the correct things
lit up, signaling it’s on and working for the night.
As I begin to drift off to sleep, I decide that this weekend, when we’re
away and Olive isn’t with us, that’s the time I’ll tell him who I am. Not that
there will ever be a perfect time to tell him, not knowing how hurt he’ll be,
but at least we’ll be alone when the truth comes out.
The next morning, I wake up to pink and orange hues of sun, shining
through the open curtains in our bedroom, acutely aware that I slept the
entire night, which makes me shoot up from the bed.
I rub at my sleep-filled eyes and glance over at Briggs’s spot, finding it
empty, and when I reach out, the soft sheets are cold.
Okay, I was obviously much more tired than I realized, which is
basically my life every day now, but so tired that I fell asleep in the matter
of minutes. I barely remember falling asleep, only that Briggs had me
tucked against his body.
I swing my feet over the side of the bed and head down the landing to
Olive’s room. Empty. Realization hits me. Briggs must have gotten up with
her last night to let me sleep.
For someone who’s love language is affirmation and sleep… he nails it.
Every time.
 The smell of bacon hits me, and my stomach growls noisily. When I get
downstairs, I find Olive and Briggs in the kitchen. Briggs has her set up in
her bright pink Bumbo seat and he’s feeding her what looks like… banana?
I can’t be sure since she appears to be wearing more than she seems to be
eating.
He’s got a kitchen towel slung over one shoulder, music on the radio,
and bacon and eggs on the stove.
No man should make multitasking look this effortless.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He grins and does another noisy airplane
toward Olive with a spoonful of banana. She babbles so happily, my heart
twists with an overpowering feeling of love.
I can’t believe that she’s our girl.
“Good morning.” I walk over and stand on my tiptoes, giving him and
Olive each a sweet kiss.
Yep, banana.
“Are you judging me right now?” he says, brow lifted.
I can’t stop the smile that spreads on my lips. “Not at all. I just couldn't
help but observe that sweet Olive seems to be wearing more banana than
she has actually gone in her mouth. How about I take over and you can
focus on the bacon?”
“Or, how about you go pack you and Olive a bag for a couple days? Me
and my girl have this under complete control.”
As he says this, Olive spits out the glob of banana he just fed her,
giggling and babbling.
“Okay, it’s fine, I can clean it up. You, upstairs. Pack you a bag.” He
swats my ass playfully. “When you’re done, you can eat breakfast and we’ll
head out. Your surprise, remember?”
I nod. “As if I could forget. Fine. I’ll be back in a few.”
I leave Briggs and the mess in the kitchen, then head upstairs and
quickly pack a bag for both Olive and me. You never know how much stuff
you have until you’re forced to pack for “a few days.”
I have no idea where we’re going, so I make sure to pack a variety of
outfits for each of us, and then, I roll it back down the stairs and into the
kitchen. This time, Olive is mostly cleaned up, cradled in Brigg’s strong
arm as he plates breakfast with one hand and holds her in the other.
“Just in time,” he says, noticing my presence. I take Olive from him and
give her another sweet kiss, then get her situated on her play-mat so we can
eat breakfast.
Briggs sets the table with our plates and pours us each tall glasses of
orange juice while I watch. Pulling my lip between my teeth, I stifle a grin.
“What’s that look for?” he asks.
I shrug. “This is nice. Breakfast together, living together.”
And it has been. Sharing a space with Briggs has been even better than I
imagined, and even though it’s only been a few days, I know that I want this
for the long run.
Briggs joins me at the table, and after a quick breakfast, we prepare to
leave. His black duffle bag is already by the back door. As he rolls Olive
and my bags to the back door, I get her into a clean outfit and ready for the
trip.
“Can you tell me now?” I ask, giving him my best impression of puppy
dog eyes.
He shakes his head in a firm no. “Get your sweet ass in the car.”
Fine. Ugh. This man is not budging.
Once Olive is settled in her seat, I climb into the passenger seat next to
Briggs and he pulls us out onto the highway. I try to pay attention to the
street signs to get any indication of where we’re going, and it takes me a
solid twenty minutes to realize that we’re leaving Chicago behind, and not
in the direction of the airport.
“Are we going to the Brickside? To see Grams?” I ask excitedly.
 A grin spreads on his lips. “I wanted to take you back to where it all
started, and your grams may have strong armed me into coming up for the
weekend, so she could spend time with Olive. I figured it was a chance for
you to see her, and for us to have time together. I specifically remember
how much you loved when I-”
I lean over and press my fingers against his lips to silence him, all while
my cheeks flame with embarrassment.
The mouth on this man. A sin, I tell you.
We get to the Inn just after lunchtime. When we pull into the long,
winding driveway to my favorite place, my grams meets us outside,
wearing her signature apron and the biggest smile on her face.
I’m so happy I could cry. It’s been months since I was able to come here
to visit her.
The second my feet hit the pavement; Grams is at my side.
“My darling girl! I have missed you so.” She pulls me into a tight, warm
embrace that feels like home.
Home.
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, even more now that my
and Olive’s home is with Briggs.
“Hi Grams. We’ve missed you so much.”
She holds me for a moment longer, then turns back toward Briggs and
pulls him into her arms too, further warming my insides.
“Hi there,” she says.
Briggs circles his big arms around her, holding her against him.
“Hi Grams.”
I think back to last night when Briggs and I talked about family being
who you choose, and I realize that I hope…I hope after this trip, and after
everything that happens, I hope he still chooses me.
 THIRTY

THE FIRST THING we did after Grams insisted on feeding all three of us,
was hit the lake. The weather was perfect, unlike the first time we came,
and let’s be honest… any chance to see my girl in that tiny hot pink bikini,
I’m taking it.
Her and Olive are wearing matching swimsuits, and I never really
thought much of it until seeing them both in pink floral bikinis. Then I
realized how fucking cute it is. The little fluffy, frilly tutu on Olive is the
cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
There’s no doubt about it, I’m a girl dad, and I’m wearing that title with
pride.
Olive’s bow matches her swimsuit, and the entire time she’s on her
tummy on her blanket on the sandy beach, she tries to eat the bow, causing
her mother to fuss over it.
“Olive juice, you’re supposed to wear it, not eat it.” She laughs. Fuck, I
love that sound. Even more when she’s in a bikini.
Down, Briggs. Christ.
We’ve been under the large beach umbrella most of the afternoon, aside
from the few minutes that Maddison went for a swim. When she comes
back, the tops of her shoulders are tinted pink to match her cheeks.
 “You got some sun, babe. You wanna head in? I think your grams is
going to spend the evening with Olive, so I was thinking we should go for a
boat ride, just us?”
Maddison’s eyes light up at the mention of the boat. My girl loves the
lake, and the boat even more. My mind drifts to the first time that we met,
and more than anything, I want Maddison to look back on those days and
think of them with nothing but fondness.
That’s why I wanted to come back this weekend, get away from the city,
and after the situation with my parents, I wanted to see my girls happy. I
needed it.
I knew this was the perfect place for that to happen.
A place where Maddison calls home and anywhere that she’s at… well,
that’s where I want to be. She and Olive are my home.
“I would love to take the boat out. It’s the prettiest day. I can bring her
to Gram then take a quick shower?”
I nod then stand from my spot next to Olive under the shade of the
umbrella, then walk over to Maddison and pull her to me, my hands sliding
around the warm, sun-kissed skin of her back, pressing her firmly against
me.
“I have plans for the bed in that houseboat.” I smirk.
Her brow lifts. “Do you? Well… better make that shower quick then.”
Her eyes twinkle with mirth.
I almost groan aloud when she sashays back over to Olive, swinging her
hips, and with each step she takes, her sweet ass shakes. She knows exactly
what she’s doing.
We pack up our bag and make our way back to the Inn. While Maddison
goes to meet Grams and get Olive ready for her sleepover, which she
insisted on so Maddison and I could have some alone time, I take a quick
shower and wash off all of the sand. Then, I throw on a pair of khaki shorts
and a polo shirt.
 I love my Olive girl more than anything, but I love having her mama
alone too. I can’t wait to have an entire night with her all to myself.
Maddison lets herself into the room a few minutes later and smiles
when she sees me scrolling on my phone.
“Hi handsome. Gonna take a shower really quick. I feel like I have
sand… everywhere.” She squinches her nose. “In every crevice.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Probably a waste of time since I’m going to
dirty you up…”
Rolling her eyes, she drops a quick kiss to my lips then she disappears
into the bathroom, and I hear the water turn on.
My phone chimes with an alert and I glance back down at the screen
and see an email notification. The other day at the rink Coach said there’s
an event coming up that he needed us at, and Samantha, the public relations
girl, would be sending us an email with all the details.
When I open it up and see an email sitting in my inbox from her, I click
it open and then my screen goes black.
Fuck, of course my phone dies right when I go to check it. I fell asleep
last night before I set it on the charger and using the GPS to the lake today
must have drained it. Damn it.
“Babe, gonna use your phone really quick to respond to Samantha’s
email,” I call to Maddison over the sound of the shower.
“Okay.”
I grab Maddison’s phone from the nightstand. Her passcode is the
easiest thing for me to remember, Olive’s birthday, so I quickly type it in
and unlock the phone. Everything seems to be color-coded, so I quickly find
the pink “emails” folder and open it.
Before I can even log out to input my information to log into my email
account, what I see stops me in my tracks.
Stops my heart in my fucking chest.
Dozens… no, maybe hundreds of emails addressed to The Puck Bunny.
 What the fuck?
Surely, I’m reading this wrong. There is no fucking way that Maddison
is…. The Puck Bunny.
My mind immediately flits to the last time I read something from The
Puck Bunny, and I realize it’s been months. With Olive and everything
going on with Maddison, I honestly hadn’t really thought about the fact that
she’s gone silent. I assumed it was because I wasn’t giving her things to
report about and because it was the off-season but...Is it because it’s
Maddison?
The timing... No.
There’s no fucking way; I refuse to believe that.
Now that I’ve seen this, though, my mind continues to race, playing all
scenarios out in my head, connecting things that may not even be there.
Maddison is studying journalism. That’s what she wants to do as her
career. Is it really that far fucking fetched to think that she couldn’t be The
Puck Bunny?
That would mean that she lied and that from the very first day that she
met me, she knew who I was. She had written about me for… years. What.
The. Fuck?
I open one of the emails with the subject line “TIP.” It’s an email from
someone sending an anonymous tip about a center from the Bears.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I swallow, trying to process everything I’m reading, but with my heart
pounding against my ribs, my pulse sounding in my ears, I can’t focus.
“Briggs?” Maddison’s voice startles me. She’s standing in front of me,
her hair still dripping from the shower, wrapped in a white towel, looking at
me with wide eyes.
“Tell me this is some sick fucking joke, Maddison.”
She rushes over, and I stand abruptly, putting my hand up, halting her.
I can’t.
 Not after reading this. Not after what I think I just discovered.
“Tell me, Maddison. Fucking tell me right now that you aren’t… The
Puck Bunny. Say it.”
I need to hear it from her mouth…that what I’m seeing is bullshit.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she wipes away a tear. “I can’t tell you that. I
won’t tell you that because I won’t lie to you, Briggs.”
The floor seems to open up beneath me, preparing to swallow me
whole. I thought I knew pain, I thought I knew what real, true heartbreak
was. I thought I knew how deeply betrayal scarred your flesh. Until now.
Now I realize how utterly fucking wrong I was.
My fingers bite into the flesh of my palms as I fist them. I shake my
head, trying to clear it, but fail, anger seeping its way into my flesh.
“That’s rich considering you’ve been lying to me the entire time I’ve
known you. After everything…how? How could you do this, Maddison?
Fuck, how could you lie next to me at night and keep this shit from me? Is
this the real you? The girl who tries to fucking ruin everyone just for her
benefit.” My heart feels split wide open in my chest. I scoff. “Was this even
fucking real? Us? Or was I just a way to get information, the inside scoop
on the NHL? Fuck, you almost broke up Liam and Juliet’s marriage. You
made rock bottom even lower for me.”
My chest feels tight, my head swimming with emotions I never thought
I’d endure again. Heartache. Betrayal.
Taking a step forward, she reaches for me, but I take a step back,
maintaining the space between us.
That seems to trigger her realization, that I am fucking done. She covers
her mouth as tears begin to stream down her face.
“No, oh God, no, of course this was real. Briggs, please, just listen to
me. I-… I-, I tried to tell you so many times. I just didn’t want to hurt you,
didn’t want this to happen. Not like this. I planned to tell you this
weekend,” she pleads, still trying to step closer, but I continue to back
away.
I can’t be close to her, not right now, not with how fucking hurt I am.
How goddamn angry I am. She finally seems to understand that what I need
is to know the truth, so she sits on the bed, clutching the towel around her,
her eyes red and puffy from her already shed tears.
“I never expected to see you again, not after that night. When I found
out I was pregnant, regardless of what my job was, I knew that I had to
contact you. And then everything that happened with Conrad… I didn’t
ever expect to even hear from you again. Not after the paperwork, the letter,
and you signing away your rights. Then, I ran into you.” She swallows, her
green eyes holding mine as she speaks, “And… At first, I figured that we
were only co-parenting, and that bringing it up would only drag up the past,
and I didn’t want to rock the boat. I didn’t want to tell anyone, Briggs, and
that’s why I didn’t for so long. The Puck Bunny was supposed to be
anonymous, it was supposed to always be anonymous. But then things
started to change. Briggs, I never expected to fall for you, I tried so hard….
And I knew once we started dating that I had to tell you, and I planned to.
God, I wanted to so many times, I just couldn’t, not knowing that it would
be hurting you. I told myself it was never the right time, but I was terrified.”
She pauses, sucking in a breath, her chest heaving as she tries to calm
herself. “I was so terrified you’d hate me and you’d leave, and that you
would never forgive me.”
Every single word she speaks is like a deeper slash to my heart. The
woman I love more than anything has betrayed me, just like every other
fucking person I’ve ever loved.
“When is the right time to hurt the person you love? Never Briggs. It
never felt okay to do it, even though I knew I needed to. Briggs, the second
that you walked back into our lives, I stopped reporting on your personal
life. On anyone’s personal life, really.”
 I scoff. “Oh so that makes it better? That you didn’t spend the last three
years reporting on every goddamn fuckup that I did. Fuck, I can’t even
believe this.”
I drag my hand down my face, in utter disbelief that this is even
happening. Never once did this cross my mind, I mean the fucking Puck
Bunny?
“It was a job, Briggs. I never set out to hurt you or anyone in any way,
all I was doing was reporting the news, just like every other outlet. How do
you think I paid for school? Supported Olive and me through my pregnancy
when I was alone? I had to rely on it.”
My gaze lifts back to hers. “You have no idea what I fucking went
through, Maddison. I lost endorsements, I almost lost my hockey career, I
lost my family. And every single bit of it was plastered on your page for
views. You singled me out during the lowest point of my life and fucking
made everything so much worse.”
“Briggs-” she starts.
“Don’t. I can’t be here right now. I can’t do this.” I know with what I’m
feeling, I need to put space between Madison and me. “To be clear, no
matter what happens between you and me… I will never leave my daughter.
I’m walking out of this room right now because I honestly can’t even look
at you, but I’m not leaving Olive.”
Even as angry as I am, seeing Maddison cry kills me. It physically pains
me to see her tears, but right now, I can’t even stand being here another
second.
I don’t even know where to go, but right now, I have to get out of this
room before I say something that I can’t take back.
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and I love you no matter what.
Even though you’re angry at me… I never meant to hurt you, Briggs. I
would’ve never reported what I did, had I known that it was hurting you the
way that it was. Please, forgive me. I’m so sorry, I- I.” She’s sputtering, and
it takes everything inside me not to fall apart with her.
Emotion clogs my throat as I try to suck in a steady breath, but my chest
feels like it’s split open.
“If that was true, you would have never let this go on as long as it did.
You fucking humiliated me, you betrayed me, and sorry isn’t enough. I
can’t do this.”
She cries harder as I speak, only breaking my fucking heart more.
I wrench the door open and walk out, forcing myself not to look back.

I find myself out on the very dock that I sat with Maddison, just over a year
ago. The sun’s setting behind the clouds, the shadow cast on the lake.
There’s a stillness around me, a quiet that I haven’t felt in a long time and
I’m truly alone with my thoughts.
I’m trying to process what I’ve learned, but it makes me sick to even
think about it. Maddison is The Puck Bunny, and no matter how hard it is to
accept, I have to.
Fuck, she might as well have ripped my heart from my chest.
That means when I think of the anonymous blogger who made my life a
living hell for the past three years, I have to think of Maddison. The woman
I love, with every fiber of my being. The mother of my child. The woman
who has changed me in more ways than I can even say.
She's taught me patience. She’s helped me become a man I can be proud
of. The one who doesn’t act in anger, who thinks things through before
making decisions. She and Olive both, they’ve changed me.
And I knew that before now. I knew the moment that I saw Olive that
my life would never be the same, and it hasn’t been. It’s been fucking
amazing.
 Having a family. Having two girls who are the center of my universe.
Knowing that at the end of the day, even when shit’s gone all wrong, I have
them to come home to.
Why would she lie? Why couldn’t she just have told me. If she did,
everything would be different.
I wouldn’t feel like I barely know her, or like every single thing thus far
has been a fucking lie. Do I even know the real Maddison?
Part of me wants to believe that I do, that I know her better than anyone,
inside and out, but right now, I feel like I’m doubting everything.
Us. Our relationship. Every damn thing she’s touched feels stained with
her betrayal right now.
Sitting here on the same dock where I unknowingly began to fall in love
with Maddison, my heart feels like it’s in pieces, and I don’t know how to
put it back together.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but what I do know is that I need
to put space between me and everything that reminds me of Maddison To
think this shit through with a clear head, without every little thing that I’m
surrounded by being a piece of her.
I sit on the dock for so long that the sun has set, and dusk is settling
around the lake and my ass is numb from sitting still. I stand, shoving my
hands in my pocket and walk back to the Brickside. Even though my
stomach is in fucking knots, I take the stairs back to our suite.

Opening the door, I find Maddison asleep on the bed, curled on her side.
Even in the pale moonlight, I can still see how red and puffy her eyes are,
meaning she must have cried long after I left.
I fucking hate this. I hate that it’s come to this, that because of the secret
she hid from me, that I can’t trust her.
That I have to walk away from her, to clear my head.
 Careful not to wake her, I find my duffle bag and use the notepad and
pen that has the Brickside’s logo on the top.
I quickly scrawl a note on the paper and take one last look at her before
walking out the door and shutting it behind me.
This time, it’s me that’s leaving, and like only one year before, when
Maddison left me with just a note, it hurts.
This time, I’m the one leaving, but no matter what happens, I’ll never
leave my daughter behind.
 THIRTY ONE

“YOU KNOW, THIS FEELS EERILY FAMILIAR,” Reed says.

I glance over at him, narrowing my eyes. “What do you mean,
familiar?”
He shrugs, taking another pull from his beer. “I mean, I’m pretty sure
this is the same shit I did when Holland and I went through everything.
Pretty sure I didn’t shower for a week and I survived on leftover burritos
and beer.”
I grunt in response.
Three days have gone by that I’ve been camped out in Reed’s guest
room, wallowing in misery. Three long, miserable, torturous days that I
haven’t seen Olive… or Maddison.
Yet every waking moment I’ve thought of them both. Still so fucking
angry and still so goddamn hurt that every time I close my eyes, all I feel is
the pain.
Even Holland took pity on me and slid a pop-tart under the door. Evan
even gave me his stuffed octopus, and it almost made me fucking cry.
I’m a goddamn mess.
And all of this has done nothing but dreg up the past, rearing its ugly
head, beckoning me to give it another second of thought. To let it consume
me, once again.
 My brother. Conrad.
Two people who I trusted with fucking everything, literally every aspect
of my life, who betrayed me. And then I think about how far I’ve come in
the past three years, and how even though I’m a better man, I still feel so
goddamn angry that I’ve found myself in a situation like this again.
Lied to by someone I love.
Betrayed by the person I trusted.
I stopped being angry at Beau a long time ago. More like I accepted the
fact that because of his lies, and his betrayal, that we’d never have a
relationship again. One, because I had no desire to, and two, because I
could never trust him again.
But, lately? It’s been easier to think about forgiving him for fucking up
because, in the end, he did me a favor. He helped me, even if it was in a
shitty way, to realize that I never really loved my ex. Not by a long shot.
She was never who I was meant to be with and we had fooled ourselves into
believing that what we had was real.
All Beau did was wake me up and force me to realize that I wasn’t
happy, I was just… breathing and not really living.
It took falling from grace to realize how much more there is to life than
partying and wasting my time with someone who was never meant for me.
He led me to Maddison and Olive.
And, well, Conrad… He’s just an asshole and letting him go was the
best thing I ever did. I couldn’t have someone with such shitty morals and
standards on my team, and even though I still want to punch him in the dick
for what he did, I’m glad that what happened in the dark came out in the
light.
But still, fuck him.
I couldn’t take another day away from Olive, so tomorrow morning,
Maddison and I will be meeting up, so I can see her. I went to Reed’s to
give us both the space we needed, even though she chose to stay with Ty
and Kyle.
The truth is, I couldn’t imagine coming home to an empty house where
every corner I turned reminded me of my girls.
My girls.
Olive will always be my girl, no matter what happens. She’s the reason
that I wake up each morning and breathe. She's the reason I want to be a
better man, to make her proud, to be the kind of dad that stands on the
sidelines and cheers his baby girl on in whatever she decided to do. The
kind of dad that stands by her side, no matter what.
I want to be better, better for her.
“Fuck, I just hate this man,” I say, “I feel… empty.”
Reed nods. “I know. Kinda feels like your heart is living outside your
chest, huh?”
It does, and I hate it. I hate missing them, I hate being apart from them.
It doesn’t feel right.
Even though I’m hurt and angry, I hate that I’m still so fucking in love
with her that I can’t see straight.
My heart is at war with my mind, and I don’t know who’s winning.
“I think you just need to ask yourself, do you want to live without her?
Is what happened something you can’t move on from, or forgive her? Is
your life going to be better off without her? Look, I’m not excusing what
she’s done, I’m not. But Briggs, can you put yourself in her shoes for a
second and imagine what you'd do given the situation?”
Gritting my jaw, I look out the window as I mull over his words. Even
in anger, I can’t imagine life without Maddison, not when she’s ingrained in
my heart, somewhere completely out of reach.
“She’s the reason that, for the first time, I felt like home wasn’t a place,
but a person,” I tell him, “But Reed, I’m so fucking angry. All she had to do
was tell me. Be upfront, and granted, I get it… she hasn’t written about me
since she realized who I was, and thank fuck for that, but how do I move
on? How do I let go of what’s happened? How do I act like my trust isn’t
shattered?” I say, jaw clenching with each word.
He sighs, long and hard, and turns farther toward me. “You know,
Briggs, what I did…. lying to Emery, thinking that what I was doing was
the right thing by not telling her about Holland and me, trying to protect her
from the truth because we thought that it would hurt her. It’s not that much
different from what Maddison’s done.”
He’s referring to the way he and Holland became a thing in the first
place. Holland, being his sister Emery’s lifelong best friend, found out that
Holland and Reed had been keeping their relationship a secret from her for
months.
I lift a brow and start to speak, but he stops me. “Listen, I thought I was
doing the right thing, fuck man, I believed with all of my heart that I was
protecting both Emery and Holland, each in different ways by keeping the
truth to myself, and in reality, all I did was fuck things up by not being
honest from the start, but I didn’t realize that until it all blew up in my face,
until I almost lost my girl, and I almost fucked up my relationship with my
sister, who’s my best friend. I’m just saying, I can understand that she
thought that by not telling you, she’d be sparing your feelings, not hurting
you, not bringing up the past to break open old wounds. I’m not saying it’s
right, and I’m not saying it’s what she should’ve done, at all, I’m just saying
that after being in an impossible fucking situation, sometimes you do what
you think is right in the moment, even if in the end, it isn’t.”
We sit together in silence after that for a few moments, each of us
thinking about what he’s just said.
Reed’s my best friend, more like my brother, and I trust him with
everything. He’s never once made me doubt his loyalty, and time and time
again, he’s proven his friendship. Right now, I need and value his advice
more than anything.
 Especially with my heart barely fucking beating the past few days.
“Don’t think I’m making excuses because I’m not. When this happened
with Emery, Holland and I both had to own up to our shit, not just with each
other, but with Emery. I’m saying that I think you should think about why
she did what she did. I think that maybe she thought she was protecting
you, and not that she was hurting you.”
His words are like a spark inside my head.
Fuck, he’s right.
My thoughts flit back to my brother. Beau deceived me, purposefully,
having an affair with my fiancé. He did it not caring about the
consequences, and he knew that it would hurt me. I’ve been so lost in my
fucking head, that I’ve been comparing Maddison to Beau.
Beau made a conscious choice and I was collateral damage. Maddison
became The Puck Bunny long before she even knew me, and while she hurt
me, she did it without even fully knowing who I was, and she was afraid of
deepening those already bleeding wounds the past had left behind.
“No one can make this decision but you. You need to sit back and think
it all through, imagine life without her, and if that’s something that you feel
like you want… then, so be it. But if you can’t imagine waking up without
her next to you, well then, you know your answer. Think about the why,
instead of the how. Maybe give her a chance… to explain things further.
Either way, I’ll support you to the end, brother, you know this. All Holland
and I both want is for you to be happy.”
For the rest of the night, all I can think about is my conversation with
Reed. I think about my brother, and Conrad, and Olive, and Maddison.
I think about what the future holds, and who I am.
What this means for me.
My heart and my mind are in a constant battle, and only one would
come out victorious.
Last night, I tossed and turned in the bed of Reed’s guest room until finally,
around four a.m., I realized that I wasn’t going to be getting any sleeping
tonight. Not when my head was this fucked up.
Not when I couldn’t turn off the constant racing thoughts, or the things
playing out over and over on repeat.
I ran his neighborhood twice, and then got coffee and waited for eight
a.m., when I was supposed to meet Maddison at home to see Olive. We
chose home to meet since Olive’s things are there, and it’s her home. The
clock seemed to tick by at a torturously slow pace. Each minute slower than
the last. Finally, I got in my truck and drove the short distance home, the
entire ride my stomach in fucking knots.
I hate this.
When I unlock the front door and walk in, Maddison and Olive are
already inside. I can hear Olive’s babbling through the foyer.
The sound causes my stomach to lurch, twisting into even more knots. I
miss her laugh and her baby babbles even though it’s only been a few days.
When I walk through the entryway, Maddison is holding Olive in her
arms, playing with her stuffed bear on the couch.
The bear that Graham gave her the day she was born and the one she’s
been attached to ever since.
Maddison looks about the same as I feel. Her blonde hair is pulled back
out of her face that’s free of makeup, there are dark circles under her eyes,
and she looks completely exhausted. When she sees me walk into the room,
her eyes lift, catching mine, and I immediately see the tears welling.
Fuck, this is going to be even harder than I thought.
My chest aches at the sight of them; I so badly want to reach up and rub
away the stiff ache forming.
“Hi,” she whispers quietly.
 “Hi.”
She stands from the couch and clears her throat nervously. “I’m going to
stay at Tyler and Kyle’s for a few days, so I’m going to go and pack a few
things while you and Olive play.”
Her words pierce my heart, causing the ache to intensify. Yeah, this is
fucking torture.
“You know that you and Olive do not have to go anywhere, Maddison.
This is both yours and Olive’s home,” I say, keeping my words brief. I don’t
trust myself to say anything else, not with the emotion in my throat, and the
need to pull her into my arms and say fuck it.
I walk over and take Olive, holding her tightly to my chest, breathing in
her baby scent. I’ve missed her so much; I never want to have to leave her
again.
Knowing that I’ll have to walk back out that door without her…makes
all of this so much worse.
“Briggs…” Maddison says, blinking away the tears, “I’m sorry. I just
need you to know that, how sorry I am.”
“Thank you.” I say, looking back at Olive. I stroke her cheek and give
her a kiss as Maddison heads up the stairs. I force myself not to watch her
go and to focus on Olive instead. I needed my baby girl, even more than I
realized. With her in my arms, I feel hope. After everything, I can’t talk to
Maddison, not right now, not when I’m so fucking confused and angry and
hurt.
I play with Olive for a few minutes when Maddison walks back
downstairs, a suitcase in hand, along with a few things like Olive’s Bumbo
seat and her pack and play.
"I’ll be staying at Reed’s, you and Olive don’t need to go anywhere,” I
start to say once more, but she shakes her head, setting her things down on
the landing of the stairs then swiping at the tears wetting her cheeks.
 “I can’t, Briggs. I can’t be here right now, knowing things are like this
between us. This is your home, and while I know you’d do anything for
Olive, I just… I don’t feel right about staying here when this is all my fault.
I don't’deserve your generosity. I don’t deserve kindness from you.” Her
voice is quiet, barely above a whisper, so full of emotion that it almost
wrecks me. “I’m sorry for what I did, and if I could take it back and do
everything the right way, I would. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and I’m sorry
that I wasn’t honest sooner. I’m just… I’m so sorry, Briggs.”
I walk closer, Olive still in my arms babbling quietly. “You are the
mother of my child, and while I am angry and right now, I don’t know what
will happen between us, I will always be amicable with you for the sake of
our daughter, and I don’t want you to think that you have to leave. You will
always have a home here.”
“I don’t deserve that, and I think that I need to give you space. To…
think about everything that’s happened. I just want you to know that I’m
going to make this right, I take full responsibility and I’m going to do
whatever it takes to fix it.
Her tears flow freely down her already damp cheeks, and she looks
toward the ceiling, trying to gain her composure, rubbing at her already red
and swollen eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
It guts me to see her cry, and even more so that I’m part of the reason
for her tears. Yeah, she did something that hurt the fuck out of me, but I still
don’t want to see her hurt in return.
This isn’t a competition about who can wound the other worse. I’m not
that person, and neither is she.
“Please call me so we can arrange something for Olive. Briggs…I-I, I
hope you know that I would never do anything to hurt you, and I’m so sorry
that I have made such a colossal mess of everything, and I would do
anything to gain your trust back.”
 Her words should soothe the feeling of lead in my stomach, but it only
makes it heavier. The thought that this could be a reality… I realize in this
moment just how much I hate it. How much I don’t want this.
I just don’t know if my heart is willing to let her in again, not after
everything.
THIRTY TWO
 ONE WEEK LATER

IT’S BEEN NINE DAYS. Nine days of going through the motions, taking
care of Olive, giving her all of the love I possibly have, eating, showering,
sleeping. On repeat.
I feel like a piece of me is missing, and the rest is just... numb.
The only thing that seems to feel is the pain in my heart that insists on
making its presence known. The piece that's missing aches.
I hate this. I hate that I hurt Briggs, and I hate that my own fear caused
me to act selfishly and keep this from him. If I was honest, maybe things
would have been different. Maybe not, maybe he would've still hated me
for what I've done. I didn’t tell him the truth, not only because I was afraid
that he’d never forgive me, but because after everything he’s been through
and finding out how deeply the media damaged him, I didn’t want to hurt
him any more than he already had been hurt.
I didn’t want to bring up the past and make it a constant reminder in his
life, when he’d done everything to turn things around.
In turn, I messed everything up.
I hurt the love of my life. I made him think he didn’t know me because I
wasn’t honest or upfront.
All I can do now is give him the space that he asked for, and hope that
he can forgive me, despite everything.
 Dragging the brush though my hair, I numbly follow through the
motions of getting ready. This is the first time I'm really leaving Ty's house
since everything happened, but today, Holland called me and asked if I
would have dinner with her and Emery.
I tried to say no, seriously tried. I don't feel like being around anyone, I
feel like eating a bucket of ice cream and crying, but she insisted, and
absolutely would not take no for an answer.
Once Ty heard about it, he practically forced me to say yes. He says I
need social interaction and wallowing in pity isn't going to make me feel
any better.
He's right, but still.
Which is why I'm here, trying to tame my hair and look semi-decent to
go out in public. Briggs picked up Olive earlier today to spend the day
together, so it's been just me here, and it sucks.
I've cried all the tears my body possibly has to cry, and now I have to
put a pretend face on and act like everything's okay.
After brushing my hair, I grab a simple black t-shirt dress from my
suitcase and put it on then pair it with my favorite hot pink Converse. I look
myself over in the mirror, noticing that I've lost weight in the past week,
enough to where the dress fits much looser than the last time I put it on.
I remember just a month ago I was dying to lose weight, and now... I
feel like my cheeks are sunken in. Losing weight because you're
heartbroken isn't the way to go. Trust me. And then each time I think about
the fact that I'm heartbroken and in pain... then I feel guilty.
I feel even more guilt because I'm the reason this is happening. And if
I'm hurting, I can only imagine how Briggs feels. It feels selfish of me to be
hurting, since I'm the one who did this, but I can't help the way my heart
feels. I miss him, I miss our family, I miss the way that he grins when he's
teasing me, or the way he cooks breakfast in the morning, wearing nothing
but a pair of loose sweats, low on his hips, and each time that I see him, I
want to drag him right back to the bedroom.
God, it's even worse witnessing the sweet moments when he reunites
with Olive after a couple of days. He misses her so much, I can see it in his
eyes, and I hate it more than anything.
I hate all of it, and even though I didn’t know how yet, I know that I’m
going to do whatever it takes to make it right.
The buzzer rings, signaling someone downstairs, and I realize that this
will have to do. Even though I feel like I look nothing like myself, I have to
put my big girl panties on and face my friends.
I grab my purse from the foyer table, and make sure to lock the door
behind me, then walk to the elevator. Unease sits in my stomach as I ride it
down, unsure of how today will go. I know that Holland and Emery are my
friends... but they're also Briggs's friends. Reed’s wife and sister.
They have to know what is going on. Who I really am.
Now more than ever, I hate that The Puck Bunny turned into something
that I'm not proud of. I used to be so proud, so over the moon that
something I created was successful, and it was actually something people
wanted. They subscribed and liked my blog just to read more. It felt like
everything I had dreamed of since I was a little girl, holding my fake
microphone in front of a room full of Brickside guests, reporting on fake
news, was coming true. I never forgot that feeling, that rush I got standing
there, and now all these years later, I felt like, finally, my dreams were
unfolding before my eyes, until I realized the black hole that I was sucked
into because of what I was doing.
I recognize now that even though I was reporting on what I thought was
the truth, it hurt people. Intentionally or not, and now it's up to me to fix it.
It’s up to me to apologize to every single one of the people that I hurt. I
could spend all day crying about things and feeling sorry for myself, but in
the end… this is my fault, and I’m the only one that can turn things around.
 Even if it means that I lost Briggs, and I have no way of getting him
back.
I push open the door to the exit and see Holland and Emery standing on
the sidewalk.
"Hey babe!" Holland grins, pulling me in for a tight hug. "How are you
holding up?"
She pulls back gazing at me with sympathy in her eyes.
I shrug, offering her a small smile. "I'm trying. You heard everything?"
Holland shrugs apologetically. "Have you met my husband? Plus, your
baby daddy is sleeping in my guest room and he snores like a freight train.”
I turn to Emery who gently hugs me. "Hi love."
"Hi."
Holland loops her arm through mine. "Come on, let's go have brunch
and a drink. I know you probably need it."
Together, we walk the short distance from Ty's apartment to the
restaurant. A perk of living downtown.
We get to the small bar and grill and wait to be seated.
Once we're at the table, Holland orders us all mimosas and an appetizer
before saying, "Lay it on us, babe. You need to get it off your chest."
Emery agrees, "Yeah, Mads, we're your friends, it's what we're here for."
Even though I trust them, and I want to open up, part of me is still afraid
after everything, to be honest about who I am. To actually say it out loud
and admit it to someone other than Tyler or Briggs.
I suck in a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I get too worked
up. "Thank you, guys, for being here and for dragging me out of the house,
I needed some fresh air."
Holland nods. "Always. Even if you don't want to talk about it, just
know we're here and we support you, no matter what."
I can't help the tears that well in my eyes. I drop my head into my hands
as I sigh. "God, I've just messed everything up," I say quietly, "And I don't
know how to fix it. I don't know that I can fix it. I just know that I have to."
"I think that no matter what has happened, Briggs loves you. It's
obvious that he's completely, without a doubt, in love with you, and love
doesn't just stop, even when someone makes a mistake," Holland says.
"Trust me, I know this from experience."
"I hid something from Briggs," I say, looking between the two of them,
"I guess I just need to be honest, since not being honest from the start is
what caused this in the first place. I run a sports blog, well, I guess not
really anymore, called THE Puck Bunny. I'm not sure if you've heard of
it..." I trail off.
Holland's eyes widen, and Emery's jaw actually drops.
“Holy shit, what!” Holland exclaims, “you’re the Puck Bunny!? Oh my
god.”
"Oh my God, I love reading your posts! Girl, you're hilarious," Emery
exclaims, "I mean, I know some of them were a little telling when it came
to Briggs. Oh shit, wait, that's what happened, isn't it?"
I nod then turn to Holland. “Holland, I just want to say I’m sorry… if
anything I reported on hurt you or Reed in anyway. I truly never meant to
hurt anyone, and I take full responsibility.”
Holland nods, offering me a small smile. “Nothing to forgive, babe.”
"I didn't tell him at first, well, because I didn't really think that I should.
I mean, we barely knew each other. We spent a whirlwind weekend together
that ended up creating Olive, and then he was there for her birth, but... we
decided to keep things strictly about co-parenting. I didn't think I should tell
him, not when we this was so rocky, so new. But somewhere along the way,
things changed. I fell for him before I even realized what was happening,
and then I just felt like it was too late to tell him, or wondered when the
right time was? When's the right time to do something, knowing that it will
hurt the person that you love? And after he opened up about how much the
media had hurt him, it made me sick to even think about telling him,
opening up those old wounds and causing him more pain. But, I had
decided to tell him." I pause, trying to catch my breath, the tears now falling
freely down my cheeks. Holland reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing
it in hers to reassure me. "I kept telling myself that I was waiting for the
right moment, but I just never found the right moment. God, Holland, I was
so afraid of hurting him and so afraid that when I told him, he would leave
me, that I kept putting it off. We were lying in bed, and I almost told him
right then, but then he said we were going away for the weekend and I
thought it would be the perfect time to tell him. Look how wrong I was. He
found out and it blew up before I could even stop it."
Now, I'm sobbing quietly, unable to hold back the hurt and heartache
that has been bubbling inside me, threatening to spill over.
Emery stands then pulls me into her arms, crouching down next to my
chair. "Hey, we all make mistakes, Maddison. I hear you. I hear everything
that you're saying, but you know what I see? I see how much you love him.
If I can see it, then I know he can see it. Darling, you have to fight for him.
You messed up, sure, but that doesn't mean that it's over for good.”
"Exactly," Holland adds, "when Reed and I went through a rough
time… I fought for him. Because I let something insignificant almost tear
us apart, and I would've been lost without him. You fight for him,
Maddison, and you show him that your love for him is what matters, not the
past, not the mistakes that were made."
I try and slow my blubbering, dabbing at my nose with the linen napkin
from the table, but their advice seems to make me cry harder. "I'm so sorry,
for all of it."
"Maddison, we told you, we're friends, and this is what we're here for.
To pick you up when you're feeling low. Everyone makes mistakes,"
Holland says.
I nod.
 What I want more than anything is to show Briggs that I love him, and
even though I made a mistake by not being honest sooner, it wasn't because
I wanted to be deceitful. I was just afraid to lose him, and it was the wrong
way to show my love for him. It came from a place of love, genuine love
that would do anything not to hurt the one you love and I let my own
insecurities interfere.
The waiter chooses then to bring our mimosas over to the table, but
when he sees me crying, and snotting everywhere, his eyes widen and he
stops.
“Uh... .should… I come back or?” he asks nervously.
"Drop the mimosas, sir, and back away slowly," Emery says, making me
laugh, even though tears are still fresh on my cheeks.
I take a sip of the orange juice and champagne mix before sitting back
in the chair. "I haven't reported anything in a while for The Puck Bunny, the
last time I sat down to try... I just couldn't. Not with knowing that it had hurt
Briggs. I've been thinking about it a lot for the past few days, about what
the future of The Puck Bunny is. You know the only reason I did it in the
first place was because I love hockey, and I want to be a journalist, and the
money was great. I needed the money to put myself through school, and
when I found out I was pregnant, I needed it more than ever. But, I think I
know what I want to do. I just think I need a little help."
A wide grin spreads on Hollands lips. "Are you telling us you need help
to win your man back?"
I nod, biting my lip. "I think so. I don't know if it'll work, or if he'll
forgive me, but I have to try. Like you said, I have to fight for him, for our
family. I love him, and I want more than anything to fix this."
Emery smirks, a twinkle in her eyes as she leans forward, placing her
chin in her hands anxiously. "Now, this is something I’m good at. Let’s do
this."
 THIRTY THREE

SITTING BACK AGAINST THE COUCH, I exhale the breath I had been
holding for what seems like the entire time I was reading the post. My eyes
are already scanning the screen again to reread.
My name is Maddison Thorne, and I'm the voice behind The Puck
Bunny. For the past three years, I've reported on all things hockey. Stats
and Scandals.
I want to give you a little backstory and explain why, after all of this
time, I'm no longer going to be anonymous. When I started The Puck
Bunny, my entire goal was to report on hockey, and stay true to who I am.
Honest, empathetic and kind. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of
that.
I reported on things that, while still involving hockey, inadvertently
hurt people. And that's not the person I am. While I've only reported the
truth and hard facts, I didn't realize that in doing so, I was hurting
people. I recognize that while most news outlets are intrusive, all I did was
make things more difficult for the people I was reporting on.
My headlines went from something I was proud of, to something I
could no longer stand to look at.
I'd like to think that over time, I changed, and that's why I stopped
reporting on the scandals, and focused more on stats, until I stopped all
together.
This post is about responsibility. It’s about owning up to my mistakes
and trying to make them right. It’s taking action instead of just writing
about it, like I should have done a lot earlier, and honestly, this post is for
you, the reader.
This is what you deserve.
I'm writing this post to let you know that from this point forward, I
will only be reporting on the positive, encouraging, meaningful things
that take place in the hockey community. Not only that, I'm working with
a few people who I am so glad to call my friends, even after everything, to
make the stigma around social media...different. Better.
From this moment on, I'm going to take responsibility for any hurt
that I've caused, and I want to apologize.
I'm sorry. No one can change the past; we can only move forward
from the things we’ve done wrong. Myself, along with several others, will
be working within Chicago's sports community to spread positivity, and
offer guidance to young players who are struggling. We want to support
and encourage, that's our top priority.
I'm ending this message with a public apology to someone who
deserves it most of all. Briggs Wilson.
Not only because I'm hopelessly in love with him and I need the world
to know it, but because he is the one that my reporting hurt most of all.
He’s the one who deserves this apology, and I want the whole world to
hear it. To know how deeply sorry I am.
He's the coach to an amazing youth hockey team that just won their
first championship cup. Go Mighty Pucks. He's dedicated countless hours
with these wonderful children who look up and admire him. Check out
the next page to see a video from some of his players as they explain some
of the things they've learned from him this year.
 Not only has he coached youth hockey, he's volunteered at countless
charity functions and donated his entire salary to a charity that supports
battered women.
I'm not telling you all of this to brag, I'm telling you this because,
instead of the headlines that I published, these are things that I should've
been reporting on. I'm forever sorry.
Briggs is kind, compassionate, selfless, and the most amazing man
I've ever met, and I hope that if he's reading this, he can find it in his
heart to forgive me for not being honest with him sooner. But, even if he
doesn’t, you deserve the whole truth. The story of this man that I haven’t
told.
With all of that being said, it feels good to be honest with you.
Next week, I'm going to be featuring a few players who have done so
much good in our community, and I hope you'll join my live next week
with Chicago's favorite captain, Reed Davidson, as he talks about the
effects of social media in both a professional and personal stance.
I hope that in the coming days, you help me by showing up for
Chicago’s favorite guys, and by helping to make the news a more positive
place, one report at a time.
Sincerely,
The Puck Bunny XOXO
Holy shit.
I can't believe that she came forward and told the world who she is. I
didn't expect it, and I would’ve never asked her to reveal her identity, no
matter the cost.
She’s changing everything about The Puck Bunny?
My mind is spinning in circles, desperately trying to hold on to
something after the whiplash from the past week and a half.
I’ve gone through so many different emotions; hurt, anger, the feeling of
being betrayed again, questioning not only Maddison, but myself and my
own choices.
Wondering how the fuck we ended up here, and then just like she said…
she took responsibility and told the entire damn world who she was.
The doorbell rings just as I close the laptop and set it on the coffee table.
I've only been back home for a few days. After having to listen to Reed and
Holland all night, I was ready to beat my head into the wall...but, it's their
house.
Swinging the door open, I'm shocked to see Maddison standing on the
other side. She's wearing her hair down today in loose curls, and the only
makeup she has on is gloss over her plump lips. I can't help but still notice
those things about her. The pink shirt she has on dips modestly on her chest,
revealing her cleavage that I desperately try not to notice, paired with dark
jeans and sandals.
I drag my eyes back up to hers and say, "Hi."
"Hi," a small smile graces her lips, "Uh, I was wondering if we could
talk for a minute?"
I nod, opening the door farther for her to step inside.
"Where's Olive?" I ask.
"She's with Ty and Kyle for an uncle date. I figured that we should talk
alone, and they wanted to take her to the park."
Side by side, we walk over to the couch and sit. More than ever, I wish
things weren't like this, so I could wrap her in my arms.
"I saw your post," I say before she can speak.
Her throat bobs as she swallows, and like always when she's nervous,
she picks at the polish on her nails. "I was hoping that you would."
I nod. "Reed sent it to me this morning."
"Briggs...I don't know where to start. I feel like nothing I say is
adequate, but I need to say it anyway." She takes a deep breath, glancing
down at her hands before her eyes meet mine again. "I didn't mean to fall in
love with you. It was an accident, and even though I told myself I wouldn't,
I did anyway. I had no choice in the matter, honestly, my heart was yours
long before I even realized it. At first, I wasn't going to tell you. What was
the point? We were just co-parenting, and we made the decision not to have
a romantic relationship, so I didn't want to bring up the past. At that point, I
had taken a step back from The Puck Bunny because I was a new mama,
and the last thing I wanted to do was rock the boat between us."
She pauses, swiping away a tear before continuing, "Then, the next
thing I knew, we were on this slippery slope of more, and I knew that I
would have to tell you. Once we decided to explore things between us, there
was no doubt that I was going to be honest with you, but I was scared. I
made excuses about timing and interruptions, our relationship being new
because I was terrified to lose you, and part of me didn’t even want to admit
that to myself. I was a coward, and that’s the truth.” I watch as her throat
bobs, and she speaks again. “I should have known your heart, but I was so
afraid to lose you that I put off telling you, thinking there would be a perfect
time, that I could figure out how to make this hurt less and in the end, all I
did was hurt you more, and for that, I’m so unbelievably sorry. I love you,
Briggs, I love you so much, and the thought of hurting you makes my
stomach twist into knots. I thought you would hate me and never be able to
forgive what I had done. "
"Maddison, I would never hate you,” I say quietly, steeling my jaw. The
thought of her actually believing that makes my own stomach hurt. Angry
or not, I could never hate her.
"I just knew that the moment I told you, you would leave. Briggs, I
don't have a huge family. I have my grams and Tyler and Kyle. Then, I had
Olive and you. And that's enough for me because I’m surrounded by people
who love me unconditionally, and the thought of losing you." Her voice
breaks, gutting me even further. "I was a coward, and I shouldn’t have let
my own insecurities come in between us. I'm sorry, more than you could
possibly know. And that post? It wasn’t about just asking you to forgive me,
it was about making sure that I made things right, not just for you, but for
everyone else. I owed it to everyone to be honest. I hope you can forgive
me, but if you can’t, I still needed to take responsibility for my actions."
Her voice is barely above a whisper, and I want to reach out and wipe
the tears from her cheeks.
"Fuck, I hate seeing you cry," I say honestly.
Which only makes her cry harder. She covers her mouth, stifling a sob.
"Can you ever forgive me? Can we ever fix this?”
Silence settles between us for a moment, before I reach out and slide my
arms around her shoulders, hauling her to me.
She stiffens for a moment, taken by surprise at my sudden embrace, but
I just hold her tighter.
Hearing her cry, hearing the raw pain and heartache in her voice, made
me fucking sick, and I couldn't stand another second of it.
The honest to God truth is in the past week, I’ve thought more about my
life in the past three years than I have ever done before. Kinda hard not to
when you’re forced to step back and confront all of the shit you had been
shoving down deep inside.
Yeah, I’ve changed, and all of it had to do with the catalyst that was my
brother. His betrayal.
But I still hadn’t let it go, not deep down where it was buried, only
resurfacing at times like this.
After talking to Reed, I realized that Maddison didn’t keep this from me
to hurt me. To deceive me or to betray me in any way, no.
She’s not Beau, and it was time that I stopped comparing everyone to
him, because at the end of the day…. he’s the only one responsible for his
actions, and I can’t automatically assume that every person that has my trust
will break it with bad intentions. People will make mistakes, no one is
perfect, but that still doesn’t make them Beau.
 Not when I’m surrounded by good people who have shown me true
friendship, loyalty, and love.
And it’s times like these when those traits ring true.
Reed helped me work through my hurt and helped me sort through a
way to deal with it, to accept it, and to realize that not everyone I love will
break me the way that my brother did.
Maddison held the truth from me because she didn’t want to hurt me.
"Does this m-mean you f-forigve me?" she sputters. I can feel her tears
soaking my thin t-shirt, and I want to do whatever I can to make them
fucking stop, because I can't stand it.
"Baby, please stop fucking crying. I can't stand it. Please," I beg.
Sniffling, she pulls back and looks up at me. "I'm so sorry, Briggs. I'm
so sorry that I kept this from you. I'm so sorry I didn't have the courage. I
was just s-so scared to l-lose you-u-u."
I pull her back to me. "Shh, stop crying, baby. Listen, I hate this. I hate
that it happened, but we love each other and when people love each other,
they work through their issues. They stop, listen, and don't give up when it
gets hard. If there's anything I've learned over the past few years, it's those
who you're meant to love? There's no question where they belong in your
life. I know that my life isn't anything without you or Olive, Maddison.”
"I just want our family back together. I never expected to be a family,
and then we were one, it was ripped away and it was my fault, I’ll do
anything to build your trust again."
I know exactly what she means, and it has everything to do with the
decision to move past this. Holding on to that anger, refusing to move on...
that's only going to hurt us all in the end. In my heart, she's it for me.
There's no doubt. No question. She is mine and I am hers.
Maddison is the love of my life, and we're going to fight for our love, no
matter what it costs.
 Yeah, she made a mistake, and I guarantee it’s not the first or last that
either of us make. Relationships are hard work, but what I do know is that
my love for her can’t be shaken, and I trust in her love for me.
We’ll move past this, stronger than before, and not just because she
learned from her mistake, but because it forced me to confront my own
issues. I can’t be afraid to forgive just because someone I once loved hurt
me. If I want people to see past my mistakes, I need to be able to see past
theirs.
I think I’ll start with sitting down with my brother, getting the closure I
need to move on with my life without all of the bitter anger in my heart. Not
for him, but for me. Because if anything, I deserve it.
I deserve to be able to move on without letting what happened weigh
me down.
I want to love my girls and be proud of the man that I’ve become.
“All I know is that my future is you and Olive. I can’t ever imagine
waking up without the two of you. I love you, and I don’t know if you know
this, but I told Olive I was going to marry you one day, and the thing is… I
always keep my promises, especially to my baby girl.” I bring my lips to
hers and kiss her. Soft and sweet.
Showing her that no matter what happens, they’ll be my always girls.

Spotted: Briggs Wilson finally gets the girl. I guess he did something
right after all ;)
Sincerely,
Briggs Wilson
 EPILOGUE

"IF I never have to blow up another balloon in my life, it'll be too fucking
soon." Graham groans from his spot face down on the couch. "I had no idea
this was a form of torture until now. Thanks for that guys.”
"Graham, you blew up maybe twenty? Probably closer to ten.”
Maddison laughs. She's got Olive on her hip who's giggling at her Uncle G.
I'd never admit it out loud, mostly because Graham doesn't need the ego
boost, but he probably is her favorite Uncle. They share a bond that's not
surprising with how much Graham loves her, and when he's on the road, she
constantly crawls around the house saying "G-G-G-G".
Olive has lots to say these days and I fucking love it. Not a day goes by
that I don't thank God for giving her and Maddison to me. Watching her
grow and become this beautiful, smart, curious baby girl has been the best
thing I've ever experienced. This has been the best year of my life, and it
feels like my life is finally starting.
I glance at Maddison and give her a wink, chuckling when her cheeks
turn pink. You see right now she's got her hair fixed, and her makeup on,
wearing a pink dress for Olive's first birthday party that's about to happen in
about an hour, but this morning? Well let's just say I gave her enough
orgasms that you'd think it was her birthday.
 Most days are chaotic. Olive's officially crawling and getting into any
and every thing she can get her little hands on. She's going through a sleep
regression, and Maddison's exhausted. I'm exhausted.
But we're happy. Not a day goes by that I don't show my girls how
much I love them in whatever way that I can. For Maddison, it's helping
around the house without her having to ask. Surprising her with flowers or
chocolate depending on her day. Arranging a date night, or a break where
she and the girls can go to the spa. For Olive it means sneaking her yogurt
melts when Maddison's not looking, watching countless reruns of
CocoMelon and reading her favorite ballerina story to her each night before
bed. I could recite the lines to both in my sleep, and sometimes I want to
pull my hair out but let's be honest, there's nothing I wouldn't do for my
baby girl.
"Okay add at least fifty to that and maybe that's closer to how many I
actually did Madds." Graham says to Maddison, using his nickname for her.
They've gotten surprisingly close in the past few months and I think she
talks to him probably as much as she talks to Holland, Emery and Juliet.
"You're the most dramatic man I've literally ever met."
He shrugs, flipping over to his back and sticking his hands behind his
head, "It's a gift. Seriously though, are you going to have those little
weenies today? You know the ones with the barbecue sauce that you put in
the crockpot that taste like a little piece of heaven in a sausage?"
"Lil' smokies?" I ask.
He points at me, "Yes! Those."
Maddison shakes her head, "Okay, you two are not being helpful. We
have less than an hour before everyone gets here. Graham, go hang these
up," She thrusts a cluster of decorations at him, "Then you can be rewarded
with your weenies."
Turning to me, "Can you get the balloons up outside? I'm going to see if
I can get Olive down for a quick nap before everyone gets here."
 "Of course, baby," I bend down and give her a quick kiss, "Don't stress,
everything's going to go great."
"Da da da da" Olive coos, extending her little hands signaling she wants
me to pick her up. I gently take her from Maddison's arm and cuddle her
against me. Nothing in the world beats having her in my arms, her chubby
little arms looped around my neck as she rests her head on my shoulder.
A sure sign she's ready for that nap.
"If you want, I can put her down for her nap so you can get things done?
Whatever helps you most."
I can see the stress in her eyes, and when I offer, her eyes soften, "I
don't deserve you."
"You deserve the world baby." I lean in and kiss her, swallowing the
small sigh that leaves her lips, "Don't worry about Olive, I've got our girl,
you just handle the party."
She nods, then gives me a chaste kiss and leaves to let me go upstairs to
Olive's nursery. I take the stairs carefully because Olive is fast asleep on my
shoulder. I could feel the moment she went slack in my arms, her breathing
evening out. When I make it to her nursery, I click the light off and walk her
over to the crib, gently putting her inside. She's in her birthday outfit,
complete with matching tutu and it's the cutest thing I've ever fucking seen.
Actually, I say that a lot, but I'm constantly being surprised with the cute
shit that Olive does. Before I leave, I watch her as she sleeps peacefully,
and I think back to a year ago the first time I held her as she slept.
My baby girl, my reason for breathing. She's everything to me. My best
friend, my number one fan. Everything in my life led me to her and
Maddison. Sometimes it's hard to believe that I got this fucking lucky.
I click her projector light on, and the white noise machine before
leaving her door ajar and walking back out into the hallway. Back
downstairs, everything seems to be ready for the party. Maddison's been
working on this for months, and everything looks great. I have no doubt that
like always, our little girl is going to have the best day celebrating with all
of the people who love her.

"I'm pretty sure Olive's in a sugar coma." Maddison laughs holding Olive in
her arms, still covered head to toe in her birthday cake, snoring lightly. She
needs a bath, but she looks so peaceful that both Maddison and I have been
sitting on the stairs for thirty minutes just watching her sleep. Her party
went off without a hitch, just as I thought it would, and now that everyone’s
left and we’re finally alone.. I’m soaking in this moment with my girls.
Enjoying the quiet, calm after a house full of chaos.
“I can’t believe Graham and Asher bought her a four-door barbie jeep.”
Maddison says.
I shrug, “Are you really that surprised?” I laugh, “It’s Graham.. and
Asher. Plus, they had to beat Reed’s present and his was a treehouse so…”
Maddison laughs, causing Olive to stir in her arms sleepily. Olive
silently clutches her blouse in her hand, and her mama smiles.
“Let me get her into a quick bath, and her pajamas and I’ll see you in a
few?”
I nod, leaning forward to press my lips against hers, “Let me know if
you need anything baby.”
While she gets Olive cleaned up and ready for bed, I take a quick
shower. The last few practices on the ice have been grueling, my muscles
have taken a beating, and I’ve been feeling it the last few days. Combined
with the fact that I took a hit that left my left side bruised, and I’m pretty
sure a few broken ribs, I’ve been extra sore.
Shutting the shower off, I grab the fluffy white towel from the rack and
dry myself off before slipping on a pair of black boxer briefs. I’m towel
drying my hair that’s too fucking long and, in my eyes, when I walk
through the door back into the bedroom and see Maddison sitting cross
legged on the bed with a small red box with a white bow in front of her.
“What’s that?”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and pats the bed next to her. I
toss the towel into the laundry basket then sit next to her.
“I got you something.” Her hazel eyes widen slightly, and I’m confused.
My birthday isn’t anytime soon.
“But it’s Olive’s birthday, not mine.”
“I know, but this is something special.” Maddison pushes the small box
towards me with a small smile, and my brow furrows. I pick it up gently in
my hand and untie the bow, letting it fall free, then remove the lid from the
box.
Inside is a small piece of white paper. I pick it up and stare at it for a
moment in confusion.
“Turn it over.” She whispers. My eyes dart up to meet hers and I see
unshed tears clouding my favorite shade of green inside her irises.
I flip it over and see a small black and white photo of what looks like a
round, grey ball. My heart pounds in my chest, so hard it threatens to burst
free of my chest.
I’m holding a sonogram.
My eyes whip up to Maddison, “Is this.. Are you? Madds.” I whisper.
“Are you pregnant? Is this our baby?”
A second passes and she nods over and over as the tears spill down her
cheeks, “We’re having a baby Briggs. Olive’s going to be a big sister.”
Happiness floods me, emotion clogging my chest as I stand from the
bed and yell.
“Fuck yes! We’re having a baby!”
Still clutching the sonogram, I pick Maddison up off the bed and swing
her around, kissing everywhere I can reach.
 “God baby, I’m so fucking happy, I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I’m
going to be a dad to another perfect baby. Thank you.”
Maddison laughs, watery and hoarse, “What are you thanking me for?”
“Giving me my babies. Loving me. Being the best thing that’s ever
happened to me. Fuck, I love you so much.”
She smiles, a small grin tugging at her lips as tears fall freely from her
eyes, “I can’t believe it either. I mean we weren’t exactly preventing but I
just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, I guess.”
I set her gently back on the bed, and stand straight, lacing my hands
behind my head as I try and process what I’ve just learned. I can’t believe
we’re having another baby.
“I guess we should probably get ready for more sleepless nights huh.
Those nights seem like a lifetime ago.”
It does feel like a lifetime ago, but I’m so ready. Those were some of
my favorite days, and I’ll never forget them.
This time… I get to be here for Maddison’s pregnancy, I’ll be here for
every single moment.
“I can’t wait to see your belly get big and round with my baby.” I groan,
“Just thinking about it turns me on.”
Maddison grins, rising on her knees and crawling over to the edge of the
bed where I’m standing, “You know, I’ve been so ridiculously.. horny for
the past few days. That’s a perk of pregnancy.”
I smirk, sliding my arms around her waist and pulling her to me until
she’s pressed tightly against me, “That so?”
She nods.
“You remember how I told Olive that I was going to marry you when
she was just a baby? Guess I need to give you my last name sooner than
later so I can satisfy my wife throughout her pregnancy.”
“Hmm. Is that a proposal Briggs Wilson?”
 “Well, the ring I’ve been hiding in my sock drawer for the past six
months… I think it’s about time that the woman I love and want to spend
the rest of my life with to wear it. Marry me Maddison. I need to spend the
rest of my life loving you the way that I have since the moment I laid eyes
on you.”
“Are you serious?”
I laugh, “Of course I’m serious. It’s not like I haven’t been dying to ask
you to marry me since the day I promised our baby girl that I would. I just
had to wait until you were ready. Say yes. Please.”
“Yes, of course, yes I’ll marry you, you crazy man!” She laughs through
a sob, throwing her arms around my neck.
I fell in love with Maddison the first time I ever saw her, and maybe I
didn’t know right then what our future would hold but I think some part of
me always knew that she was it for me. She was a breath of fresh air into
my lungs after I had been barely breathing for so long.
Her and Olive, and now our baby… they’re my world.
They’re everything I’ve wished for. Everything I dreamed of.
My happy ending.
One I fought for, and one I would never give up.

You guessed it… Graham’s book is next. Coming late Spring of 2022.
 Enemies to lovers + a surprise trope I’ll reveal soon!
You’ll LOVE his heroine.

Make sure to preorder below before the price increases!

 ALSO BY MAREN MOORE

Turn the page to read Chapter One of Reed and Holland’s book,
Change on the Fly, Book one of the Totally Pucked series.

An enemies to lovers, sister’s best friend sports romance.

 REED

THERE ARE a lot of perks to being a professional hockey player. Hell, an

athlete in general. Besides the money, the fame, the endorsements. The free
shit that sports companies throw at you.
And one of those perks is currently perched on my lap, trailing her hot
pink manicured finger up my chest.
Her name is Elizabeth. And honestly, I'm surprised I even remember her
name because our entire interaction at Liam and Juliet's wedding lasted
about fifteen minutes in a cramped bathroom stall and there was definitely
no talking done. Or any talking during any of the times after that.
You see, I'm the kind of guy that enjoys the finer things in life…without
all of the complications that people seem to add. Why make anything hard
when it's already sweet? I'm twenty-eight and living my dream, playing
hockey for one of the best teams in the country. I've got the most beautiful
women at my fingertips, fans who adore me, and then I have my ma and my
sister Emery. Nothing to hold me back and no one to answer to. And that’s
exactly how I want it.
Seriously, life is good.
"Has anyone told you tonight that you are the most beautiful girl in the
entire room?" I say to the busty blonde in my lap. Her plump, bright red lips
stretch into a wide, confident grin. It’s not a lie, she is gorgeous. It’s just
part of the game. You say what they want to hear, and everyone’s happy.
"That's because I'm the only girl in the room, Reed Davidson." She
giggles before tossing her long, sleek hair over her tan shoulder that peeks
out from her sleeveless dress.
I grin cheekily, revealing the dimple that always seals the deal. Just as
I'm leaning in, Briggs, my best friend, walks up and flops down onto the
couch next to us. I shoot him a look that says "get the fuck out of here,
cockblocker," but Briggs being Briggs, doesn't pick up on the signal.
"Tonight sucks," he mutters. He's nursing a still full beer, and moping
around the bar like he's lost his puppy dog.
Sighing heavily, I nudge blondie from my lap and thankfully, she takes
the hint and scampers off back toward her group of friends, leaving me
alone with Briggs.
"Alright, what's up? What are you cryin' in your beer about?"
His jaw clenches at my jab, but he just shakes his head, staring off into
the distance. Best forward in the NHL or not, the guy is dramatic and
broody as shit. I’ve just learned to live with it, and fuck with him any
chance I get.
"Briggs."
"Just some shit."
Another blasé answer. A Briggs’s specialty.
I pull my phone from my pocket and swipe away the unopened texts
from puck bunnies who text me weekly for a hookup, and instead, I go
straight to my other best friend, Liam's text and open it. He's sent a photo of
him, Juliet and the girls on the beach. The girls are posing next to a
sandcastle as big as they are, and it brings a genuine smile to my face. Liam
and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. We played
hockey together, until he became the coach of the Avalanche last year. Now
that he’s married to Juliet, he’s coaching high school hockey and I miss
seeing him and the girls as much as I used to.
They've been in the Bahamas for over a week, while I'm stuck here
babysitting Briggs. I can't wait for the girls to get home to tell me all about
their vacation.
I love those two sassy girls. Being their uncle Reed is one of the best
things in my life. But me as a dad? The last thing I could ever see myself as
is a father or a husband, or anything even close. As much as I love Ari and
Ken... I love bringing them back to Liam at the end of the night, so I can go
out with the boys, catch a game, enjoy the single unattached life.
I’m a perpetual bachelor, and that’s exactly how I plan to stay.
Which is why Broody Briggs, myself, Asher, Hudson and Graham are at
a bar on a Tuesday night… because, why not? We’re all single, hot
professional hockey players with no one to go home to, so why not spend it
out on the town with a few beers? We all play together for the Chicago
Avalanche, and it’s the best job on the damn planet.
When people say, “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in
your life,” it’s true. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I get to wake up and
play hockey for a living, but at the same time, I busted my ass to be here. I
worked from sun up to sun down to be the player I am today.
To celebrate another great practice, we decided to come out tonight for a
night of bunnies and booze. Except, as of late, things have been… less
exciting, since Briggs is walking the straight and narrow or he’s off the
team. He’s been in more fights the past six months than I have in my entire
hockey career.
So, to make sure that he stays out of trouble, that he doesn’t find himself
in front of a pap’s camera, or worse, stuck in a jail cell for another night,
I’m stuck babysitting until further notice.
Hockey player or hockey-player nanny? That is the real question.
 The rest of the night passes uneventfully, thanks to Briggs’s sour mood.
Asher, Hudson and Graham each found a puck bunny for the night and
dipped out before midnight, leaving me and Briggs alone, so I decide to cut
out as well.
“I’m headed out, you want a ride?” I ask Briggs, who’s rapid-fire typing
on his phone.
He doesn’t answer me, so I punch him in the shoulder to get his
attention.
“Fuck, what was that for?”
“Dude, you’re in a bar and have been glued to your phone all night. I’m
out, you need a ride?”
He shakes his head no. “I’ll call an Uber later.”
“Stay out of shit, dude, seriously. I’m not bailing you out of jail, and
please, for God’s sake, wrap it up. We don’t need miniature versions of you
skating around.” I grin, teasing him.
The dick nods, barely acknowledging me, eyes still focused on his
phone. Asshole. I down the rest of my beer and leave the bottle on the table,
with a few bills I pull from my wallet, and then make my way out of the
bar. Thankfully, we frequent this place often, and the owner lets us use the
back door, so we can avoid fans and the media. As much as I love having
my picture taken, I’m not a fan of the paps.
I open the back door of the building and step outside into the cool night
air, inhaling a deep breath before I begin walking across the pavement to
find my truck in the sea of vehicles. Just as I’m about to unlock it, my
phone rings in my pocket. I fish it out and see it’s Holland, my sister’s best
friend.
Weird. Why would she be calling me after midnight?
I swipe and answer, “You know that they say any calls after ten are
booty calls, right?”
 “Reed?” She all but yells into the phone. The music in the background
is so damn loud I can hardly hear her.
“Holland? What’s up? You realize it’s after midnight?”
I unlock my truck and jump inside, starting the engine.
“Uh, well, something happened.” Her words are muffled. The
connection sounds like shit, and I can barely hear what she’s saying. “Can
you come get us, please? We’re at Sorority Row.”
I’ve known Holland since we were kids and never once has she asked
me to pick her or Emery up anywhere, since they generally Uber
everywhere. It makes me worried that something happened.
“Are you and Emery safe?”
“Yes. Emery just… had a tiny bit too much tonight,” she mutters.
“I’ll be there in ten. Where are you?”
“Upstairs bathroom.” A second later, I hear the sound of heaving. Great,
Emery’s drunk as shit. I make a mental note to grab a bucket at the sorority
house.
I slam my truck into drive and pull out of the parking lot opposite the
club. Thank fuck I’m downtown, and not at home, because this drive
would’ve taken twice as long. Sorority Row is only ten minutes from the
bar.
My tires ramp up the curb when I come to a stop then park, not
bothering to even shut the truck off before I hop out and stalk up the steps
of the house. By the looks of it, there’s a massive party happening, and it
makes my blood boil. I hate my sister going here. I know this is where
entitled, rich douchebags party, and I want Emery nowhere near them.
Especially since I can’t have eyes on her.
I’m a big brother, sue me. I’ve always protected her and it’s not any
different now that she’s an adult.
Once I’m inside the house, there’s people everywhere dressed in togas
and skimpy lingerie. I’ve spent many nights here, pre-NHL days, and I
know exactly what tonight’s about. It’s rush week. The craziest week of the
entire year, where everyone is doing whatever they can to be selected to
pledge. There’s fighting, hazing, a bunch of shit they shouldn’t be doing.
Meaning, my little sister shouldn’t fucking be here.
I push through a crowd of people, trying to make my way to the
stairwell.
A guy, wearing a toga, steps in front of me as I’m about to climb the
stairs, and I run smack into him.
Damnit.
“Holy shit! You’re Reed Davidson, can I have a photo, man?”
“Sorry, dude, I’m looking for someone.” I sidestep him then take the
stairs two at a time and make my way down the hallway until I find the
bathroom. When I swing the last door to the right open, I find my sister
sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mascara streaking down her cheeks and a
drunken grin.
“Oh, it’s my brother, lovely,” she slurs. “What the hell are you doing
here?”
She drops her head in her hands and groans obnoxiously loud. “He
always ruins my buzz.”
Well damn, I’m hurt. Sorry I have to be the semi-responsible one of the
two of us.
“Went a lil’ hard tonight, did ya, Em?” I tease.
My eyes drift to Holland, who’s leaning against the vanity wearing a
worried expression. I get it. Em’s shitfaced and puking everywhere, but it’s
nothing some painkillers and water can’t cure.
Em looks up at me and grins. “Well, someone has to have fun for the
both of us. You’re kinda a stick in the mud now.”
“Nah, baby sis, I just don’t like getting trashed and then puking in the
sorority girls’ toilet.”
 She flips me the middle finger with her black manicured nail, but
laughs, which quickly turns into a moan. “Shit, my head. There’s two of
you. Why are there two of you? I can barely handle one.”
Holland throws her head back and laughs, and I narrow my eyes at her
then Emery.
“You know, for being your knight in shining armor, you two sure are
mouthy.”
Holland rolls her eyes and looks like she’s going to say something, but
Emery speaks up instead. “My jerk of a frat douchebag boooooyfriend
broke up with me so we took looooots of shots. Lots and lots of shots. I lost
count.”
“Thank fuck, I thought I was gonna have to beat the shit out of the guy
to get rid of him.”
“Shut up. He was nice… and smart.”
I laugh. “Yeah, just your type.”
I’m sure Em gets sick of my teasing, but it’s what we do. We talk shit to
each other like it’s our religion. If Emery wasn’t talking shit to me on the
daily, I’d think something was wrong.
“So, you want me to help you up or do you plan on sleeping here
tonight?”
“I’m becoming one with the floor.” She groans.
I reach down and lift her off her feet, and she stands shakily on her
heels. I toss my arm over her shoulder to steady her.
“Please do not puke in my truck or I’m leaving you on the side of the
road.”
“Ha ha, very funny.”
I stop dead and look at her. “I’m serious.”
Even though I’m not. I chuckle and take the damp rag that Holland is
holding out for me then wipe Em’s face. Em’s got her eyes closed and she’s
looking a bit green, so I do her the favor of wiping some of the smeared
makeup and dried throw up off, before handing it back to Holland.
Growing up, I’d been the one Em called when she needed someone. We
didn’t have a dad, so she had me. I changed her tires in high school and beat
the shit out of the guy that called her a slut after she wouldn’t sleep with
him.
I’ve always done whatever I could to protect her, that’s what I’m here
for. When we were kids, she’d follow me around and do everything that I
did. She had a stick in her hand at five years old and could skate circles
around most of my friends, even though we were eight and twice as big as
her. My entire life she’s been my shadow and I guess there could be a worse
best friend than your baby sister.
We walk out of the sorority house, down the concrete driveway and
when we get to my truck, I pick Emery up and put her in the passenger seat.
She moans and groans the entire time, like she’s losing a damn limb.
“Sheesh, you're dramatic.”
“Runs in the family, I guess.”
I scoff. “That is about enough out of you tonight.” I grab the bucket
Holland thought to grab and put it in Em’s lap then shut the door, silencing
her protest.
When I’m done, I turn to Holland. Her deep blue eyes are filled with
amusement at my expense, not Emery’s. She loves our banter.
Her arms are wrapped around her torso, hugging herself. For Christ's
sake, I didn’t even realize she had this tiny top on; she’s got to be freezing.
For some reason, at this moment, it dawns on me that I’ve never really…
noticed Holland as anything other than my little sister’s best friend, until
right now. Maybe it’s because she’s dressed in a crop top that shows more
cleavage than I’ve ever seen her with or because the skirt she’s wearing
makes me want to cover her up so no one can see how short it is. Or it could
be the way that her legs look paired with those heels. Even though they’ve
gotta be five-inches tall, she’s still at least half a foot, if not shorter, than
me. Her long, blonde hair falls past her chest to her waist.
Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
That’s the last thing I should be thinking about, yet here we are. I’ve
watched her grow from a boy-band crazed teenager into… this beautiful
woman.
A woman who is so off-limits, it’s not even funny.
What the hell are you thinking, Davidson?
Get your shit together.
I clear my throat. “You cool with crashing at my place tonight? I’m sure
Ma wouldn’t appreciate me dropping off the brat at her house tonight in her
drunken state.”
Holland nods. “Yeah, I can go get my car tomorrow. Uh, could you
possibly help me into the truck?” She looks down at her skirt, nervously.
“This skirt and these shoes…”
Yeah, I can’t imagine she’d be able to get in there without flashing me
and the world what's underneath it. Not like I’d complain right now…
What? I’m a guy.
“Yeah, of course.” I place my hands on her waist, ignoring the feel of
her silky skin beneath my touch, and hoist her into the back seat of the
truck. Definitely not taking a glimpse at her ass as she did so.
Nope. Absolutely not. I wouldn’t. Scout’s honor.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself. This is bad. Obviously I should've picked a
bunny and gone home with her, since I’m suddenly lusting after my little
sister’s best friend.
It’s probably just an off night, and definitely a fluke.
Definitely.
Em falls asleep before I even pull away from the curb. She’s slumped
awkwardly against the window, drool pooling in the corner of her mouth. I
should snap a picture, so I can torture her with it later.
 I grin at the thought.
The entire drive back to my house, I force myself to focus on the road,
and not drag my eyes to the rearview mirror where Holland’s perched in the
back seat, directly in my line of vision.
I only stole a few glances, and I didn’t think she noticed until our eyes
connected in the mirror and something… different passes through our gaze.
Fuck, what is happening?
Tearing my gaze from hers, I fumble with the radio and turn it up to
distract myself for the remainder of the drive. Once I pull into the driveway
and come to a stop, Emery flies forward and her eyes pop open.
“What happened? What did I miss?”
Holland laughs her ass off at Emery’s sudden outburst, and then Em’s
slumping back against the seat and letting out a soft snore.
“I’m not claiming her,” I mutter as I hop out of the truck, then open
Holland’s door. She places her hand in mine and I help her out before going
around to grab Em. It’s a whole damn production to get her into the house
and up the stairs, but thank fuck, Holland takes over once we make it to the
guest room.
They disappear through the door, and I head to my room and take a
lightning-fast shower and throw on a pair of grey sweats and a faded black
tee before walking back out to the hallway. Holland’s leaning against the
wall next to the door, scrolling on her phone. She’s shed the heels and is
standing barefoot now.
“Hey, uh, do you need something to sleep in? I have a shirt and some
boxers I can give you?”
She jumps, clearly startled. “Holy crap, I didn’t even hear you come up.
Yes, that would be great.”
I nod, and go back to my room, grabbing her an old hockey shirt and a
pair of boxers. This is the first time since probably high school that I’ve
slept in the same house as Holland, and it definitely feels nothing like it did
back then.
Walking back out to the hallway, I hand her the clothes, and she smiles
shyly before taking them from me.
“Shower’s over there. If you need something, just let me know.”
“Thanks, Reed. I mean for letting us stay here, but also thanks for
coming to get us.”
I shrug. “It’s nothing. I’d rather pick you two up then have you take an
Uber home when Em can hardly hold her head up. I appreciate that you
thought enough to call me. Night, Holland.”
“Goodnight.”
I walk back toward my room and I hear the guest bathroom door shut
behind me and the water turn on. And now what am I definitely not going
to do? Think about her naked on the other side of that door.
That’s what I tell myself for the next two hours as I toss and turn. From
one side to the other, sleep evading me. I put my pillow over my head and
groan. Finally, I just give up.
Fuck it. When you can’t sleep… the remedy is always cereal.
Don’t tell my coach that, and definitely not the trainer, but sugar cures
everything. Especially in high doses of Captain Crunch.
My secret though.
I toss the blanket aside and crack my door open quietly, careful not to
wake Em and Holl, and tiptoe down the hallway into the kitchen. I grab a
bowl, the box of cereal from the pantry and open the fridge to get the milk.
“Reed?” A whispered voice comes from behind me, scaring the fuck out
of me so badly that I send the milk flying across the island, where it lands
with a wet squelch, puddling around the now-busted carton.
Goddamnit.
Holland’s staring at me with wide eyes. Her hair is down and messy,
obviously disheveled from sleep.
 “Holy fuck, Holland, you scared the shit out of me!” I grunt. My heart’s
still racing in my chest.
Damn Reed, you’re turning into a pussy.
She starts laughing, quietly at first, placing her hand over her mouth
when she sees the milk spilled on the floor.
"I’m so… sor-ry,” she says through her laugh. I walk across the room to
where both she and the milk are, grabbing the towel from the counter before
bending down to clean it up.
Then her laugh is gone, replaced by a sharp hiss, and when I look up
and see her thick thighs staring back at me, I realize what she’s wearing…
Nothing but my t-shirt and fuck, nothing has ever looked so good. The
dark shirt hits her mid-thigh, covering all of the good stuff, still leaving
enough covered for my imagination to do the rest.
I clear my throat and stand abruptly, not wanting to make her
uncomfortable, and she steps back.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Holland, I didn’t realize.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry.”
We both speak at the same time.
“Uh, sometimes when I can’t sleep… I eat a bowl of-”
Before I can finish, she says, “Cereal?”
I grin. “You remember?”
She nods then smiles slightly. “You would wake up all the time just to
eat Captain Crunch. At some point, Em started to call you ‘Captain’ behind
your back.”
“She would. I guess the tradition kind of carried over to adulthood. Not
nearly as fun, though, as when I was sneaking around to eat it in the middle
of the night.”
My hopes of cereal are gone since the only milk I had is in a puddle on
the floor, but suddenly, I’m not sorry that it happened.
 “So, looks like no Captain Crunch tonight, but I’ve got… Pop-Tarts,” I
offer. For a professional athlete, I probably shouldn’t have this much sugar
in my kitchen, but I keep my body in the best condition I can, so it
generally doesn’t become an issue.
I get us both a Pop-Tart from the pantry then put the box back inside.
She’s sitting at the bar now with her chin in her hand. Not a lick of makeup
on, and damn, she’s beautiful. And for the second time tonight, even though
I know I shouldn’t, I realize just how much of a woman she’s become.
Somehow, I never noticed it. I never let myself notice it. I probably
shouldn't now, but I do.
And that’s how the rest of the night is spent, talking about nothing with
Holland, eating a Pop-Tart, and for the very first time, I realize that I might
be in some seriously deep shit.

Want to find out what happens next? Click HERE to read Holland and
Reed’s story!
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Maren Moore is the alter ego of R. Holmes. Author of dark, angsty and
forbidden romance. Desperate to let the lighter, fluffier side reign free, she
created Maren.
You can always expect hot dads and HEA’s!

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 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Everyone always asks me what is my favorite part about writing a book,

and while there are so many things that I love about publishing, this part is
my favorite.

Giving the credit where it’s really due. Because without these people, I
wouldn’t be who I am. I wouldn’t be able to publish or write, and I can
never thank them enough for the sacrifices they’ve made.

To my best friend in the world, Holly Renee. I love you. Words are
useless when it comes to how I feel. You are the biggest inspiration in
my life. My soulmate for life.

To Jac, I could write an entire book about how much you mean to me, but I
just hope you know that I love you unconditionally and I cherish you.

Katie, this book would not exist without you. Period. That is a fact. You
held my hand, and pushed me when I thought I couldn’t finish. I owe
everything to you. I love you.
 To my author friends who continually support, encourage, and offer
guidance…. I treasure each and every one of you. You are a light in my life.
All of the Savage Queens (literally all of you lol!) Trilina Pucci, Meagan
Brandy, Giana Darling, CoraLee June, Alley Ciz, SJ Sylvis, Julia Wolf,
Shantel Tessier, Samantha Lind, Eliah Greenwood, Amanda Richardson and
so many more. Love you girls.

To Alex, Haley and Jan for being my alphas and betas. Your advice is so
critical to my writing. I couldn’t do it without you. I love you each SO
much.

To my amazing publicist Amanda who I really don’t deserve. Thank you for
all of your hard work and your friendship. I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT
YOU AMANDA. Okay? Love you.

To my street team, and to my Facebook group Give Me Moore. Thank

you for all of the hard work that you do. You share, repost, comment and
hype my books and it is so very much appreciated.

And as always, thank you to the readers and bloggers who pick this up and
take a chance on me. Whether you loved or hated it, the fact that you took
the chance means everything. Without you, our world wouldn’t turn.