Importance of Divorce

The House of Representatives committee on population and family relations approved the absolute divorce
bill which allows it to proceed to plenary for debate. This is the closest we have come to finally allow people to
have full freedom to decide on the course of their relationships. As a predominantly Catholic nation, this
understandably will cause fierce arguments and culturally entrenched righteous indignation. However, as
someone who works with families, let me offer some points on this issue.

If you as a couple do not want to consider divorce in your marriage, you don’t have to. Legalizing
divorce does not threaten harmonious families. People who are happy and content within their
marriages will not suddenly rush to get one just because it is available. If you worry that your
spouse will divorce you the moment it becomes legal, then you have much more important things
to worry about in your relationship. It can, however, save the lives of many victims of domestic
violence (mostly women) and allow people to determine their own lives.

Not allowing divorce as a legal option is like not allowing emergency exits in a building. Imagine
there’s a fire but the building owner didn’t put in emergency exits because he “does not believe in
it” and that you were expected to keep managing the fire, not escape it. Imagine still a building
infested with toxic mold but that you were not permitted to evacuate because others couldn’t
fathom why you don’t have the willpower to tough it out. Most people hopefully will not need to
use emergency exits in their lifetime. And you’ll be glad it’s there when you need it.

Divorce can also be a protective tool against domestic violence, which is the strongest reason why
it should exist. In other countries, they found a significant reduction of spousal conflict and
extreme partner violence once divorce was an accessible option. When you know that your
spouse has legal rights to leave, you are disabused of the notion of your spouse as property and
less likely to mistreat them. Domestic violence also takes up a significant portion of reasons for
divorce, around 25-50 percent in other countries. By refusing to provide this option, you are
condemning victims of domestic violence to a lifetime of hell. Not having access to options can
also turn into desperation—leading some individuals to consider a lethal option

Even without the threat of domestic violence, we should consider the natural course of intimate
relationships. You can only realistically commit to a set of behaviors, not a set of feelings. You
cannot genuinely promise to make someone happy. You can, however, promise to not have sex
with anyone else (you can still break this promise, of course, but it is more than possible to keep).
Feelings, by nature, are temporary. They can be lost and regained. They can strengthen and fade.

love is both a feeling and an act. Love, as a feeling, can change. I do not know which Hallmark
writer decided that love should be forever. The act of loving, however, is within your control and
something you can choose to commit to. By accepting the nature of feelings, we must accept the
possibility that we might lose the feeling of love for our spouse despite our best intentions. The
act that follows this loss—whether it be active efforts to rekindle the lost feeling, redefining the
marriage as platonic mutual respect, or acknowledging that the marriage is over—can still be
done in a loving way. The best way to shield children from the harmful effects of separation or
divorce is for both parents to commit to respecting each other and to still care for each other as
co-parents. Ironically, couples who do acknowledge the wax and wane of romantic feeling are
much more likely to stay together because they do not take each other for granted and make
repeated intentions to stay. They also tend to be more generous and less calculative during
separation and genuinely wishing each other happiness.

Divorce is not the killer of happy marriages. It is simply a life raft for people drowning in a
marriage that’s already long dead. If you want to ensure the success of a marriage, we should be
providing couples with resources and support to help them better adapt and not simply mandate
them to stay together. If you love someone, you don’t chain them to you; them choosing to stay
is a greater sense of emotional security than locking them in a divorce-less marriage.

Factors on why we should legalise divorce

Reason for Divorce #1: Living Apart at Least One Year

Living apart means the spouses don’t intend to live together anymore or be part of each other’s lives.

The spouses’ intention to live apart is easier to show if they don’t live under the same roof anymore.

However, a spouse can file for divorce even if the spouses live under the same roof by proving the
intention to live separately. For example, the spouse can show that they

 live in separate rooms,

 have no sexual relationship,
 talk to each other very little or not at all,
 don’t do any household chores together (e.g., prepare meals or do each other’s laundry),
 buy their groceries separately,
 don’t eat together, and
 have separate social lives.
The judge decides whether the spouses have actually been living apart for at least a year.

Reason for Divorce #2: Adultery (Cheating)

Committing adultery means having a sexual relationship with someone who is not your spouse.

It is not considered adultery if one spouse meets with someone behind the other spouse’s back. The
spouse must be in a sexual relationship for the other spouse to claim adultery.
Only the spouse who was cheated on can use adultery as a reason to file for divorce. Chances are that
a joint request for divorce based on adultery will be refused.

If the spouse who was cheated on forgives the other spouse’s adultery, then adultery can’t be used as
a reason for divorce.
Reason for Divorce #3: Physical or Mental Cruelty
Physical cruelty means physically harming a person.

Examples:

 beating your spouse

 hurting your spouse
 sexually abusing your spouse
Mental cruelty means hurting someone in a way that is not physical.

Examples:

 harassing or insulting your spouse

 humiliating or treating your spouse badly
 threatening your spouse or your spouse’s family
 having an affair
For cruelty to be used as a reason for divorce, the acts of cruelty must make it intolerable for the
victim of the cruelty to continue living with the other spouse. The judge usually considers these
factors when deciding whether the cruelty has become intolerable:

 characteristics of each spouse (e.g., age, socio-economic condition, personality)

 actions of the spouse who is being cruel
 whether the actions are intentional
 how often they happen
 impact on the victim
Only the spouse who has been mistreated can use physical or mental cruelty as a reason for filing for
divorce. Courts usually refuse joint requests for divorce based on physical or mental cruelty.

If the spouse who was mistreated forgives the other spouse’s cruelty, she can’t use cruelty as a reason
for divorce.

Either Spouse Can Use Any of These Reasons

In Canada, both spouses are considered equal. Either spouse can claim one of the three reasons for
divorce.

Also, one spouse does not need the agreement of the other to file for divorce.

Dangers of Abortion
 Risks of Abortion
Side effects may occur with induced abortion, whether surgical or by pill. These include abdominal
pain and cramping, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Abortion also carries the risk of significant
complications such as bleeding, infection, and damage to organs. Serious complications occur in less
than 1 out of 100 early abortions and in about 1 out of every 50 later abortions. Complications may
include:
 Heavy Bleeding
 Infection
 Incomplete Abortion
 Damage to the Cervix
 Scarring of the Uterine Lining
 Perforation of the Uterus
 Damage to Internal Organs
 Death
 Consider Other Risks of Abortion
 Abortion and Preterm Birth for future pregnancies
 Links to Abortion and Breast Cancer
Emotional and Psychological Impact of Abortion
There is evidence that abortion is associated with a decrease in both emotional and physical health.
For some women these negative emotions may be very strong, and can appear within days or after
many years. This psychological response is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder. Possible
symptoms:
 Eating disorders
 Relationship problems
 Guilt
 Depression
 Flashbacks of abortion
 Suicidal thoughts
 Sexual dysfunction
 Alcohol and drug abuse
 Spiritual Consequences

Why we shouldn't legalise abortion

Abortion is the termination of pregnancy that occurs spontaneously or purposely. In the most developed world,
abortion is legally allowed for women seeking safe termination of pregnancies. Particularly, when access to
legal abortion is restricted, abortion is the resort to unsafe methods. The aim of this review is to necessitate
safe abortion and to accentuate the consequences of illegal abortion in case of legal prohibition. We used
Pubmed, MedLine and Scopus databases to review previous literatures of safe, unsafe, legal and illegal
abortions. Research work and reports from organizations such as World Health Organization (WHO), World
Bank (WB) and United Nations (UN) were included. Snowball sampling was used to obtain relevant journals.
Abortion is conventional whether it is safe, unsafe, legal or illegal. The intention of the antiabortion policy was
to reduce the number of abortions globally. However, instead of decreasing rates, evidences show significant
increase in abortions. When abortion is legal, the preconditions to be ensured are availability, accessibility,
affordability and acceptability for the safe abortion facilities. When abortion is illegal, risk reduction strategies
are needed to decrease maternal morbidity and mortality. We can reduce abortion related morbidity and
mortality, whether it is legal or illegal if we can ensure the appropriate access to health care, including abortion
services, education on sexuality, access to contraceptives, post abortion care, and suitable interventions and
liberalization of laws. The paper reviewed the Mexico City Policy and the US foreign aid strategies and
highlighted the evidence based analysis for policy reform. The liberalized abortion law can save pregnant
women from abortion related complications and death.

Key facts
 Abortion is a common health intervention. It is safe when carried out using
a method recommended by WHO, appropriate to the pregnancy duration
and by someone with the necessary skills.
 Six out of 10 of all unintended pregnancies end in an induced abortion.
 Around 45% of all abortions are unsafe, of which 97% take place in
developing countries.
 Unsafe abortion is a leading – but preventable – cause of maternal deaths
and morbidities. It can lead to physical and mental health complications
and social and financial burdens for women, communities and health
systems.
 Lack of access to safe, timely, affordable and respectful abortion care is a
critical public health and human rights issue.