Cambridge 11 (Test 1)

Writing
Task 1
The six charts give information on the amount of water utilized in different parts of the world including
Europe, America and Asia.

To begin with, the vast majority of Europeans and North Americans dedicated their water bills to
industrial use, amounting for around 50 percent of total usage. On the contrary, only one tenth third of
the consumption rate is responsible for industrial use while 71 percent of water storage is extracted for
agricultural use in South America. Moreover, energy bills related to domestic use reached a trough since
citizens mentioned above only spend nearly 15% of received water on it.(?)

Additionally, either in Africa or in both Central Asia and Southeast Asia, domestic usage of water is
rather negligible with around less than 10 percent. Similarly, the trend for industrial usage in such
countries also remained between 5 percent to 12 percent. However, the lion’s share of water, over 80
percent, is consumed upon farming and harvesting.

Overall, it can be shown that the largest amount of water energy is being used for agriculture in many
areas except for North America and Europe where the Industrial Revolution depletes the largest amount
of water reservoir.

Task 2
Nowadays, many people suggest that the vast majority of a nation’s budget should be utilized on
constructing railways due to, instead of roads, the various benefits they provide. However, I am of the
opinion that roadways are significantly more efficient and investing money in implementing them would
be a much more practical solution.

On one hand, there are rising arguments with regards to improving railways from some citizens because
of their environmental-friendliness. Firstly, since trains are run by renewable energy, such vehicles are
highly energy-efficient resulting in less carbon emission. Similarly, the amount of passengers each
traditional train can carry per travel is much more thanthat that of other automations, which makes
them preferable for environmentally-aware populations (environmentalists). In short, many believe, if
installing pathways for trains is encouraged, not only is communication time from one place to another
place is diminished, the punctuality could be also reassured.

Nevertheless, I vehemently believe governments should initially focus on simple structural projects such
as roadways regardless of the popular beliefs. The first reason is because in many developing countries,
building interconnected roads including in remote areas are already challenging enough without the
added requirement of high technological advancement just like bullet trains or electric trains. In other
words, it would be extremely demanding in such places to ameliorate complex transportation schemes
when considering financials. Additionally, even after the construction, being able to afford for daily
communication is still remains as a serious problem. This is why upgrades for pathways for cars, trucks
and motorcycles which are more prone to destruction due to frequent usage are relatively more
needed(required) and such projects are rather accessible on government’s account.

All things considered, no matter how one side is enthusiastic about harnessing money on railways, from
a logical perspective, it is in fact very difficult to apply in real life scenarios. Thus, (I suppose the lion’s
share of taxes from all adults should be spent on building roads. > I absolutely disagree with the notion
that governments should use more finance on railways than roadways.)

Overall 6.5

Task 1

Task achievement and coherency - great

Lexical resource - good, please do not over paraphrase. Please do not make mistakes with the
quantitative figures.

Grammar - great

Task 2

Task response and coherency - great, could be better if a direct answer to the question is included in the
introduction and conclusion.

Lexical resource - great, contains some advanced vocabulary. A repeating mistake - ‘with regards to’ or
‘regarding to’ is the correct usage.

Grammar - excellent. “not only (V to be/ auxiliary verb) S … (main V), S V …” is an inversion pattern. This
grammar pattern is advanced and mostly used in formal settings, especially in writing.