SESSION 1

FEAR OF OTHERS
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Study questions and come
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the screen and the audio is at a
comfortable level.

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OPE N
Leader: Open the session in prayer. Distribute the handout. If this is a new group where the women don’t know each other already,
allow them to introduce themselves briefly before answering the question.

What are some things you were afraid of as a child? (monsters under your bed, the dark, etc.)

What are some silly things you are afraid of now? (cockroaches, scary movies, storms, etc.)

Fear. It’s something you may or may not think a lot about, but you might struggle with it more than you realize. What are
some things you and people you know tend to be afraid of? (children’s safety, job loss, marital problems, financial crisis,
disease, terrorist, etc.)

Fear manifests itself in many ways, but one of the most damaging ways it affects us is through our relationships. We quietly
want to change our husbands but realize our powerlessness and inability to do so. He gets frustrated when we try. A broken
friendship sidelines us, so we run away from new friendships. We become distant and hard-hearted. Our children take different
paths than we envisioned, and they end up feeling like we don’t love or support them. Fear threads its way through all these
relationships.

But there is a way out. We’ll be exploring that way through the beautiful truth of God’s Word—His promises to us that help us
escape fear’s grip.

V IE W
Show Session 1: Fear of Others (21 minutes)

RE V IE W
Cheryl’s father leaving the family caused her to fear abandonment. She said her constant fear and insecurity has
affected her relationship with her husband. What kind of insecurity, tension, or distance can you imagine
happened between Cheryl and her husband as a result of her fear?

Cheryl’s fear also causes her to withdraw in friendships. Have you ever been neglected by someone you know
and love? In what ways has that neglect affected your friendship?

Trillia said, “Fear keeps others at arms-length. You can’t go deep with others if you don’t allow them into your own
life.” In what ways have you allowed fear to keep you from going deep with others?

Trillia noted that when we pretend we’re someone we’re not in order to be accepted by them, we’re damaging
ourselves by not being true to ourselves and hurting others because we judge them. She said, “we are essentially
saying, ‘you don’t have the grace to love me as the Lord has made me or you will judge me, so I have to lie about who
I am.’ When we do this, we aren’t giving the person the benefit of the doubt or even a chance at a true relationship.”

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Have you ever thought about it being dishonoring to a friend to play a role instead of truly being
yourself? How have you dishonored a friend in this way?

Emily struggles with constantly comparing herself to others. How did her story resonate with you?

Emily said, “When I see someone who looks like they have it all together, it turns into a self-sabotage in my head. I
turn the good things they have going for them into bad things for myself.”

When does that happen to you? Why does seeing someone else’s joy or success cause us to beat up
ourselves or make us discontent with our own lives?

Trillia said when we compare, “we begin the downward spiral into wars and factions instead of loving one another.”
Share a time when you have compared yourself to someone, and it put a wedge between the two of you.

Social media doesn’t help. It breeds discontentment and stirs up judgment, making us feel “less-than” if our lives
don’t resemble a Pinterest board or cool Instagram feed. What particular kinds of pictures and “appearances”
are hard for you to see on social media? What do you think is behind that insecurity and comparison?

Why do you think it’s so hard to simply accept other women’s accomplishments or happiness?

When we chase after other people’s lives or opinions or approval, we can easily fall into viewing others as
competitors instead of companions. Thankfully, following God is not a zero-sum game. If one person is blessed, we
don’t get less blessing.

Have you ever thought of comparison in terms of competition? How does competition change the dynamic
of friendship? When has competition in friendship damaged your relationship?

Why should someone else’s victory be cause for celebration? Why is it more freeing to fight for others
rather than competing against them? (Be prepared to share a personal story or example of a time you and your
friends celebrated with each other over someone’s victory.)

Someone please read Ephesians 5:1-2.

Do you often let the fact that you are truly, deeply loved by God inf luence the way you see others?
Yourself? Why or why not? What does it mean to “live a life of love, just as Christ loved us?”

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Johana’s story reminds us of the importance of letting go of busyness and the quest for perfection. What keeps
you busy? In what ways do you want to be perfect or have the perfect life?

Following Johana’s story, Trillia said, “no one’s life is perfect, yet it can so often seem that way. So if you are feeling
like you don’t measure up, I think one of the first questions we must ask is what are you using as your measure? And
why are we measuring ourselves against these things?”

What is the standard of measurement our world uses? What standard do you use? How does following
Jesus change the way we measure ourselves?

How do the different activities you’re involved in, relationships you keep, and pressures you face
contribute to your fear when it comes to other people? (Be ready to share a personal example.)

Someone read Matthew 11:28-30.

Trillia shared that “the sweet cure for our fear of failure is the gospel that reminds us of our limitations and
weakness and our need for a Savior.” Can you share a time God brought you relief and encouragement when
you were dealing with multiple pressures and insecurities? What difference did it make?

BI BL E E X P LO R AT I O N
Fear permeates our world. We are afraid of spiders, crime, fat, monetary collapse, our children’s futures, and whether we’ll
measure up or make an impact in this world. Some of us are so consumed by fear that we have no idea what it would look like
to live joyfully or with deep, resonating peace—particularly in our relationships. But there is a better pathway God beckons us
toward—the path of trust and faith.

Someone please read Proverbs 29:25 and Psalm 111:10.

What are ways you could begin seeking God’s wisdom in the face of fear?

Scripture is full of verses that tell us who God is and why He is trustworthy. We are going to read several different Scriptures
that show God’s power and love in particular. As you hear them, consider what they have to say in the face of fear.

Someone read Psalm 77:13, Deuteronomy 4:39, and Isaiah 40:18-31.

How do these passages describe God? (The one true God, the Creator—great, bigger than the earth, powerful,
incomparable, watches over the behavior of man, etc.)

How do these verses help you reframe the fear and insecurity you battle in your life? What power do they give you?

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Someone read Psalm 62:11-12, John 3:16, and 1 John 4:16.

In what ways, if any, have you seen your fear diminish in light of God’s love for you? If you were to tell a friend
about the correlation between God’s love for us and fearing less, how would you explain it?

Why is it important to remember that only God’s love can fill a human heart?

There is no other God. He is great, everlasting, and full of love. Knowing God’s character helps us understand Him better. As we
grow deeply in our relationship with Him, trusting His character, we are better equipped to tackle fear.

Read Genesis 1:27 and Psalm 139:1-14.

What do these Scriptures say about who you are? How is our identity related to the big, powerful, and loving God
we just read about?

As image bearers of God, we are endowed with worth, dignity, and hope. We are fully loved by God—He is our Father, and we
are His children. How does knowing this truth help you to truly believe your worth today? What about the worth of
others? How have you struggled with people’s worth—yourself or others—in the past?

Someone read 1 Corinthians 12:4-8.

Besides settling our identity in Christ as well-loved children, we can walk away from the comparison trap by remembering the
great diversity of the Body of Christ. Paul uses the metaphor of the body to convey an important truth: we all need each other,
and God’s fullness is not demonstrated in robot-like, similarly gifted followers. He shows His great love of variety by gifting us
all differently, so instead of envying others’ gifts, we should celebrate the measure of God within each person who is different
from us.

Trillia says we can fight our fear of other women through encouragement. What are some ways we can actively encourage
our friends?

L AST WO R D
Someone please read Galatians 1:10.

This fear of others must be dealt with. We must recognize it as sin—as something that prevents us from fully serving Christ.
Although we might not describe our struggles with others as “fearing” them, it is true that when we envy, judge, worry, or
compare, we’re fearing how their successes or failures will affect us. We’re also forgetting how big God’s love actually is to
remove those fears.

With that in mind, write down three ways you’ve feared.

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Leader: Give them three minutes to write these down and then invite them to share one each.

Now write down three tangible ways you’ve experienced God’s love in the past week.

Leader: Give them three minutes to write these down and then invite them to share one each.

Sometimes we need to stop and remind ourselves that God loves us—He is for us. His deep love for us trumps anything anyone
else says or thinks. We don’t need to be enslaved to insecurity anymore because God’s love is secure. It is bedrock. It is the solid
ground we stand on. It never changes.

DE E PE R WA L K
Leader: Challenge the group to practice at least one of the suggested activities in Deeper Walk. You may even invite them to circle the one
they want to do and then follow up at the beginning of your next session to find out how it went.

•Reading: Read chapters 1, 3, & 5 from Trillia’s book, Fear and Faith.

•Mentoring: Find time to have a conversation with someone you know who is comfortable and confident and
find out how she moved away from fearing others to being settled and at peace.

•Conversation: Next time you’re hanging out with your girlfriends, ask when they’ve felt most insecure and
why. Seek to find out how your friends grew beyond their insecurities.

•Memorization: Memorize Galatians 1:10 for when you’re tempted to live for others’ approval.

•Pray: Ask God to show you one girlfriend to specifically encourage this week. Share with her something you
love about her through a text, a written note, or in person.

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