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Andrew Vashevnik - The Psychology of Weight-Loss - Gain Control of Your Weight For Good
Andrew Vashevnik - The Psychology of Weight-Loss - Gain Control of Your Weight For Good
OF WEIGHT-LOSS
ANDREW VASHEVNIK
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
PROLOGUE
If you would’ve told me ten years ago that one day I would write a book
about the psychology of weight-loss, helping people all over the world free
themselves of shame, anxiety, ill-health and low self-confidence, I would’ve
laughed in your face.
But here we are.
My name’s Andrew Vashevnik. I’m from Melbourne, Australia. But
that’s only half the story. Of Russian parentage, I was actually born and
raised in a European-style household. My story goes a little like this: I grew
up as a chubby kid, only destined to get fatter and fatter. But unlike other kids
who embraced it, who learnt to laugh at themselves, I really, truly struggled
to accept being that way. I went through the majority of my childhood years
miserable, overweight, alone, with no friends, a laughing-stock at all the
schools I attended. The other children would tease and torment me. I was
excluded, left out, ignored. They made me feel as if I simply didn’t belong.
Desperately, I wanted to be like everybody else. I wanted to play sports, go to
parties, go on dates. I just wanted to be normal, accepted.
While back at home my parents would keep feeding me and telling me
that I’d have the last laugh, as I didn’t need to be attractive or popular or
sporty because I was smart. But that didn’t help in the slightest. I was still
friendless. I still had low self-esteem, no self-confidence. But at least I ate
“healthy” food, my mum used to say. Because all the other kids ate packets
of chips and chocolates (but they still didn’t seem to put on any weight). She
didn’t have any idea why I was so fat. Nor did she have any idea why our
whole family was the same way. I used to break down in tears telling her how
much I disliked how I felt in my own body, how much I disliked being
overweight. Her response would always be the same: “at least you’re
healthy”. My dad didn’t know what was going on—he just ate whatever was
put in front of him each day.
But this didn’t last long—the misconception that I was “healthy”.
When you’re overweight you suffer from a range of problems. Even at a
young age, little knots and pains form, skin issues, sweat problems, all the
unpleasant things no one talks about. This was standard in my household. But
it’s not how the majority of people hope to live their lives.
To counter this, I exercised a lot. My parents encouraged me to do so. In
fact, they’d say: “at least you’re the fittest kid in school”. But being 80-90kg
(or 170+ pounds) at seventeen, I couldn’t really compete with the other kids.
They were faster, more agile, happier, had a much higher energy frequency. I
begged and pleaded with my parents to help me. But I had no support in that
regard. Because they too were overweight, and seemed oblivious to the fact
that it was slowly killing them, that before long it would cause serious health
complications that would ruin their quality of life, or worst of all, cut their
life short!
Therefore, I had no other choice but to set out on my own.
At eighteen, I sought to rewrite my own future. I set out on a mission to
lose weight—and lots of it. I purchased countless books, every exercise and
diet regime out there. And oh how I wish I could say I succeeded; I wish I
could say it was easy. But eight years on from when I started, I was nowhere
closer to my goal of losing weight, keeping it off, and having the health,
energy and confidence that went with it. I tried everything and more. From
two to three workouts every day, to fasts, cleanses, to ketos, to the paleo diet,
every diet imaginable. Thousands and thousands of dollars went into it.
Countless hours. And still nothing.
I reached a point of helplessness. I reached a point of complete surrender.
I was done—my shame spiral continued to drag me down.
But thankfully, salvation came from an unlikely source.
In addition to the countless diets and exercise regimes, I also studied the
mind, majoring in psychology in my first year of university. By the age of
twenty-one I became a licensed hypnotherapist. Increasingly, I was fascinated
with how our minds worked. I studied neuro-linguistic programming, how
language works on our brains and creates patterns of behaviour that happen
unconsciously. Everything to do with the brain I loved. But up until that
point, I’d never made the connection between my weight and the mind. I
always thought dieting was about the food we ate and the exercise we did.
Only when all hope was lost did everything click.
It was almost as if I had to try and fail at everything to find my true self,
to find the true answer: that it all exists in the mind. That a change of habits, a
change of beliefs, a change of physical form—the actual vehicle you spend
your everyday life in—is one of the biggest changes you can experience, and
that our minds are hardwired to resist change at all costs, especially changes
this big.
It was a HUGE lightbulb moment for me—Hang on, Andrew, weight-loss
is all connected with your mind-set psychology.
From thereon out, I devised a whole new strategy. I applied and analyzed
every feeling, every thought, every brain pattern. I applied all my knowledge
of the mind and linked it to habits, to a change of diet, to exercise and
everything that comes with it. As I observed and started to apply this new
knowledge, things started to change. I started to lose weight and keep it off,
with ten times less effort than ever before.
I was on to something.
My confidence was increasing. My skin was getting better. Hey, presto!
It took me eight years before I got this for myself. I was able to drop
40kg+ in less than a year and keep it off. My self-belief soared, my
appearance changed, my whole outlook and perception on life was
transformed—so much so I even started training for a bodybuilding type
physique.
All in the space of a year!
As I went about my own business, working in the sales industry and later
as a life coach, people noticed the changes to my physical appearance. They
kept asking me what I did and how I did it. The same old questions (the
questions I used to ask myself): what should I eat? How should I exercise? Is
it this or that new diet? But, having tried and failed at all that stuff for so
many years, I knew it didn’t work. Instead, I taught them The Psychology of
Weight-Loss and how I applied it to myself. How we relate to our food, mind,
weight, habits. Lo and behold, everyone I instructed – young and old—was
able to achieve the same results, able to lose as much fat as they wanted with
ease, consistently and permanently, without too much effort.
I, for one, was delighted that I could help people because I knew what it
was like to be uncomfortable in your own skin—it’s probably the worst
feeling you could wish upon anybody—and the impact that has on everything
in your life, relationships, work, every single thought you have runs through
this perception of I am less than...But it wasn’t until I was inundated with
requests for help, until countless people told me that I should write a book,
that I should share my knowledge with the whole wide world, that I got to
this point right here—The Psychology of Weight-Loss.
We live in an age where there are almost as many gyms as fast-food
restaurants. Yet our childhood obesity rate is through the roof; we’re dying
early deaths because of the obesity crisis all over the world. Diabetes is on
the rise. More than 50% of diseases are linked to being overweight. There’s
more information available than ever before on how to stay healthy and lose
weight. Yet none of it is helping. It requires a whole new way of thinking. I
spent eight years going around in circles, eight years of my life wasted—
well, not wasted, because I now know that I had to go through that whole
process to write this book for you, to deliver the truth—The Psychology of
Weight-Loss.
Therefore, I want to first thank you for picking up this book. It means a
great deal to me to be able to have the opportunity to make a positive impact
on one of the biggest and most private things you can deal with, an issue that
determines our self-worth, confidence, energy and vitality. I don’t not take
this kind of responsibility lightly. It’s my absolute privilege to serve you, to
be able to have the opportunity to make a difference in your life.
This book has my heart and soul in it. It has been written and rewritten
countless times over the years, countless revisions, all to make sure it really
delivers on my promise: that you will gain full control of your weight easily
and permanently, for the rest of your life.
This book is for you, for your neighbor, your kids, your family, for
everyone that has ever struggled with their weight. Whether you’re 10kg or
200kg overweight, it has and will work for everyone.
I dedicate this book first and foremost to my family, whom I love very
much. They gave me life. Hopefully now I can give something back to them
in return: energy, vitality and quality of life. I dedicate this to the next
generation who’ll run our countries, cities, who’ll lay paths for our future
humanity. Most importantly, I dedicate this to the you that you know you can
be. The confident, proud, humble, powerful human being that lives within
you. The human being that has struggled with feeling amazing in their own
skin. The you that has been held back for too long. The you who could have
such a positive influence on the people around you if only you had the chance
to shine. I dedicate this to the true powerful, unwavering you who’s capable
of anything—anything—you set your mind too.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for committing to yourself. Thank
you from the bottom of my heart, for being the kind of human being that
doesn’t give up and is able to take themselves on.
Now, let’s get started…
I, Andrew Vashevnik, hereby promise, that by reading this book you will gain
full control of your weight, easily and permanently, for the rest of your life.
However, there is a serious caveat attached to my promise: you must follow
all the instructions.
CHAPTER ONE
How to Read this Book and What I Promise to Deliver
There are thousands of books out there telling you what you should eat and
what you shouldn’t eat, how to lose weight fast, how to lose weight slow,
how to lose weight in eight weeks, twelve weeks, the blood-type diet, and
everything in between. There are thousands of books on nutrition, what
vitamins you need to supplement your diet, and how often you should
exercise. The reality is, even though that information has its place, it doesn’t
make the needle move permanently and effectively in the right direction, in
terms of weight-loss. If you’re reading this book now, you’ll have come to
the conclusion that there’s a big correlation between how we think and how
our brain functions regarding our weight and weight-loss itself.
This book has been specifically designed to help you make an automatic,
psychological shift in relation to your weight-loss goals. Forget all the facts
and figures you’ve read and struggled to process and apply in the past. In this
book, you’re not going to find countless scientific studies about why sugar is
bad for you, or what time of the day you should be eating carbohydrates or
protein et cetera. This book’s sole purpose is to deliver on my promise: that
you will soon have full and lasting control of your weight, for the rest for
your life.
I’m not going to tell you what you can or can’t eat, or when and how to
exercise. If you’re looking for a set of rules to follow that will magically
make all the weight disappear overnight, you won’t find it here. Sorry.
Because as you and I both know, that kind of program simply doesn’t exist. If
it did, you wouldn’t be reading this book today.
This book will take you through a rollercoaster of emotions, positive and
negative thoughts and feelings, new ideas and concepts that will forever alter
the way you look at your own personal weight-loss journey. Every word of
every chapter has been specifically designed to meet a specific, practical
intention (you guessed it): full and lasting control of your weight, for the rest
for your life.
This book is unlike any weight-loss book you’ve ever read before. Each
chapter has a very different flavor. Some are conversational in tone, others
informative or instructional. It’s not a feet-up in a comfy chair, passive read.
You, as the reader, will have to get involved.
In order to benefit from this promise for yourself, you will have to follow
a set of instructions. These instructions are all very simple. Nothing hard. So
please, don’t stress. As long as you follow all the instructions, fully, as
intended, then you’ll have full and lasting control of your weight, for the rest
for your life.
Here’s the first set of instructions:
4. Be responsible for you own physical and mental health. I’m not a
doctor, or medical professional. You won’t see any specific
instructions here on nutrition or foods you must eat. We’re all
individuals. You need to be responsible for your own health and
do your own due diligence. Should you be unsure about
something, please seek the advice of your doctor to see if a
protocol works for you or not. In terms of mental health, this
book is specifically designed to bring up unwanted emotions of
pain or discomfort, in order to encourage psychological change.
If at any time you feel any of those unwanted emotions, then
good. I want to help you confront and conquer such emotions,
have them fuel your fire, so you get the results you want. Having
said that, by continuing to read the book you’re taking full
responsibility for your own mental health. If something feels like
it’s too much, there’s no shame in putting the book down for a
few days and taking a break. As you will soon come to realize,
this book wasn’t necessarily designed to be read in one fell
swoop. As with all changes to the mind, the information takes
time to process before you start seeing your life through a
different lense. Be patient with yourself and be responsible for
your own mental health. I know personally the mental health
struggles associated with dealing with something so personal,
like weight and your own body. Please take care of yourself,
physically, mentally and spiritually throughout the process.
Instruction: be responsible for you own physical and mental health
As long as you follow all the instructions outlined above, as long as you
take care of yourself, put your current beliefs to the side and enjoy the
psychological transformation involved, you will receive all the benefits
associated with my promise: you will lose weight easily and effectively for
the rest of your life, you will be able to get to any weight you want, and
completely reinvigorate your vitality, energy and health along the way.
Most Important Instruction of All: Get Excited.
You are about to set out on a journey to become a leaner, healthier, far
more confident and powerful YOU.
Let’s go…
CHAPTER TWO
The Weight-Loss Law
All right, so here’s the big secret to losing weight. Ready for it?—the secret
to losing weight is consuming less than you expend.
Or, if you like, we can put it a different way: eat less, move more.
Full-stop. End of book. That’s it; all done. If you use more energy than
you have eaten in energy you will lose weight. And if you continue to use
more energy than you consume you will continue to lose weight.
We’re told this from a very young age, and inherently, at a core level, we
knew that it’s true.
But now welcome to the twenty-first century, where you’re subjected to
endless Instagram, Facebook and Twitter posts: eight weeks to a beach body,
twelve weeks for killer abs. Where next to every tasty burger advertisement
there’s a bigger, shinier advertisement with slim, toned bodies dripping with
fake water beads, telling you how easy it is to lose the weight from the burger
you’ve just eaten. Or someone on TV saying, Hey, you’re not eating the right
type of burger, it has too many carbs. You have to get the low-fat burger. You
have to get the salt-free burger. No, it’s the sugar that’s spiking your insulin
that’s stopping you from losing weight. No, it’s the fact that you’re eating the
burger at the wrong time. If you eat it before your workout, then you don’t
store it. Or alternatively: eat it right after the workout and it turns to muscle
and then you build muscle which burns more fat. Therefore, you need to eat
more burgers. Or eat a low-carb, low-fat burger directly after your grueling
two-hour weight session at the gym. That’s it; that’s the secret. What a load
of crap!
Every piece of information that says anything other than—consume less
to lose weight is incorrect. It’s simply against all laws of science. And if you
believe that eating more of the right types of food will help you lose weight,
then you have been cruelly disillusioned.
This book, whether you’re on the Metric or Imperial system, is all about
the weight on the scales—numbers going up, numbers going down. Eat less
than you output and your weight will go down. That’s it. There’s no big
secret.
Now, if you’re reading this you probably want to lose weight. Personally,
I’ve been on the same journey for as long as I can remember. At school, I
was the fat kid everybody used to tease. They even had a cruel nickname for
me: Fat Magic Man. At night, I used to cry myself to sleep, so badly did I
want to be skinny like everyone else. It wasn’t until I was eighteen that I
consciously made the decision to try and lose weight. Since then, I’ve been
on a constant, back and forth rollercoaster, trying to decipher all the bullshit
that had been drummed into my head, all the phony belief systems. In all, it
took me eight years to realize the simple truth, eight years before it really hit
home: it’s all about in versus out, consume less energy than you expend. It’s
the only thing that makes a difference. The golden rule.
At this point, maybe you’re thinking: Andrew, you’re wrong. I’ve tired
that and it doesn’t work. But let me tell you, it’s an iron-clad truth. Still
dubious? Give me the benefit of the doubt. Assume that that statement is
factual. In versus out is how you lose weight. Simple. But not so simple.
Because, in reality, if you’re overweight, chances are you’ve already tried
and failed at any number of diet plans. That’s why it’s important to
understand the essential psychology behind not just weight-loss itself but
your own eating habits—your consumption.
Eating Habits
Eating habits are determined by our surroundings, our parents, the way
we were brought up. This is how we learnt to eat food, lose weight, put
weight on. Habits that we acquired over the years. We didn’t wake up born
like this; we learnt it. It came from our families. Whether they ate breakfast
or not. How they served food. How they prepared food. Whether they let you
lick the icing from the spoon when baking a cake. Whether you hunted
chocolate eggs at Easter time. Whether you ate at the kitchen table or with
food on trays in front of the television.
Now, it may make you laugh, but this was so very true for me. For I grew
up in a Ukrainian family that had just emigrated to Australia. Back then, the
U.S.S.R. operated under a strict communist structure. Basically, citizens
would share everything, earn the same money, and live in the same
apartments. Food was scarce; in fact, at the time lots of foods weren’t easily
accessible in many European countries (in the U.K., for instance, rationing
didn’t finish until 1954). And when I say not easily accessible, let me give
you an example of what It was like. On a cold Thursday morning, every
fortnight, my father would have to bike in sub-zero temperatures, through
sleet and snow for two hours to get to a shop at 7 a.m. Once there, he joined a
long queue, in hope of buying some food. Because this was the only shipment
of bread and cheese for the month into their town. And it wasn’t a little town
either, with a population of well over two million people. But everyone stood
in line hoping that they would get their share. If he was lucky, there might be
two loaves of bread and some cheese left for him to buy and take home. And
home was an apartment where not only his parents lived but grandparents as
well. That was what life was like for them then. Over the next week, they
rationed out the two loaves of bread and the cheese and enjoyed every last
morsel as it was a delicacy, a reason to celebrate. Because they couldn’t
always guarantee that they would get it.
And you may think that it was just bread and cheese. No, no. They had to
do the same thing with milk, meat, fruit and vegetables, you name it. And I’m
not telling you this to give you a history lesson. I’m telling you this to help
you understand that people have a very individual relationship to food and
eating. Bear in mind, while not every person had an upbringing like mine,
twenty or thirty years ago food just wasn’t as easily accessible as it is today.
Hell, we now live in a world where you don’t have to leave your house,
where you can order all your food from home—hot, cold, frozen—where you
can get your groceries delivered, for goodness sakes. Madness.
Now, I get that you may not relate to this, that you might say: my parents
didn’t grow up in a communist country. But the same rules regarding our
food habits apply.
Important point to consider: the availability of food worldwide has almost
doubled over the last thirty years. That’s right. On a small or large scale, food
is almost two times less scarce than it was before, globally.
Anyways, back to the story. Now imagine my parents arriving in the great
land of Australia. They were twenty-two years of age, used to biking all that
way in the freezing cold for bread and cheese. Imagine them walking into a
vast, brightly lit supermarket for the first time and seeing rows and rows of
milk, bread, chocolate, frozen food. All of it accessible; not a single queue in
sight. And some supermarkets were open all day. You could get whatever
you wanted, whenever you wanted it. I need you to appreciate that, that they
entered a store where you didn’t have to be there at a specific time on a
specific day, where you didn’t have to pray that you got there on time. No,
no. Instead you had a plethora, a smorgasbord of all the food you could ever
imagine. Right at your fingertips. Take as much as you can afford or carry
with you. So heck, that’s what they did; to them it was heaven. My mother
told me that they once lived on frozen dim-sims for two weeks. Yep, literally.
I mean, it was unlimited, pre-prepared meat with fat in it, full of carbs. Add
some soy sauce and some salt, and heaven was well and truly there on a plate.
And when they ran out, they could go back the next day and buy some more.
The shift from scarcity to abundance must’ve been mind-blowing. At the
same time, you can now see how moving to Australia affected their weight
over the coming years, simply because of accessibility to a variety of
different foods they weren’t used to.
Again, this is an extreme example. I understand that. But one of the first
things for you to really grasp on your weight-loss journey is that you learnt
how to eat and what to think about food from your parents! From your
surroundings! Whether you were brought up in Russia or any other place, I’ll
say it again: food has never ever been as accessible as it is today.
Okay, so our parents and our upbringing taught us how to relate to food
and how to eat it. In my parents’ case, when they had me, they always
obsessed over what they could buy. At any minute, they thought heaven
might turn into hell, that the food may run out soon. For that reason, it was
always time to stock up and eat on a subconscious level; it was ingrained in
them due to their own upbringing.
In regards to people like you and I, we also reached a point where we
started gaining weight over and above what made us feel good. There was a
distinct time when we noticed our weight was a problem. Whether that was
by looking in the mirror, whether someone else told us, or whether we
compared ourselves to models on the front covers of magazines. Basically,
we came to the conclusion that we were overweight.
Now, inherently, we knew that if we consumed less then we should lose
weight. But when we tried, for whatever reason, it didn’t work.
Fundamentally, this was because we were missing key pieces of information
regarding The Psychology of Weight-Loss. That’s why you’re reading this
book now.
First and foremost, I want to be super-clear. Here’s the cold hard truth
about weight-loss—and this is everything, and I’m going to emphasize this
point many times—if you take only one thing away from this book, it’s this:
If you consume less energy than you output in energy you will lose weight. I
call it the Weight-Loss Law.
Here’s the thing: do you see anyone that stopped eating and magically
still stayed fat? Of course not. When you stop eating your body starts using
up all its fat stores. And if you continue to do so you’ll become so thin you’ll
be diagnosed with a medical condition called anorexia—a life-threatening
illness. Fact: no one in the history of histories has stopped eating and not lost
weight. It can’t happen; it simply can’t, ever! The Weight-Loss Law.
Let me explain.
The human body, your body, your heart’s beating, you’re breathing, your
blood is pumping, your brain is processing information. All of these functions
require…let’s call them energy points: you need energy to function. Fact.
Living requires a certain amount of energy. And to keep living we need to
replenish our energy points. Currently our delivery system of energy is
through food. Maybe one day it will be something different, but at this point
in time our body converts food into energy to keep us going.
So, now we have the basic functions down. And I’m sorry if this sounds
simplistic or stupid. I’m not trying to talk down to you or make you feel silly.
Not at all. Only the basics are very important to understand The Psychology
of Weight-Loss fully. That way, you’ll never be brainwashed into thinking
anything other than the truth again. Okay. So, your body uses energy, then
you replenish with food which converts to more energy and the cycle
continues. Now our bodies are brilliant at one thing—SURVIVAL. That’s
right. The human race has become the dominant species for one reason and
one reason only: because we are the best and most adaptable species and have
survived for thousands of years. One of our most amazing tools is our energy
storage system. It’s incredible! In primitive times, when we had to hunt for
our food, we could eat as much as humanly possible and overeat our energy
requirements. Not only for the day, but for many days in advance. And our
bodies would actually store these energy points! That’s right: our body will
actually take and produce cells (today we know them as fat cells) and then
inject each cell with a little bit of energy to store for a rainy day. Or when
food isn’t accessible, like when my dad biked all that way and the bread and
cheese ran out. His body would store the energy so he could continue living
and not DIE. We have the best system in the world. And here’s the thing:
even though most creatures have this system for storing fat, we’re the only
creatures smart enough to use it. So, yes, you guessed it: it’s a mental skill.
Because in the wild you will rarely see a fat animal—birds, cows, sheep—
they just eat until they’re replenished and won’t overeat their energy stores.
We are one of the rare species that use mental cognitive thought to consume
more energy points in order to store them for a rainy day.
Not everyone does this. But make no mistake, if you’re reading this book,
you’re someone who does. Here’s the good thing: if you’re over the weight
you want to be, it’s because you’re the superior race in terms of survival!
Yay! Yep, you are smart enough, intelligent enough, with enough survival
instincts that you have overfilled your energy stores in order to survive for
longer. Well done. You’re a great survivor. And let me tell you, I was a great
survivor, too. If we got into a famine, most people would be screwed. Not
me. I stored away all that energy. By my late-teens, I was around 120
kilograms (18 stone) and counting. And I’m not a tall person, only around
170cm (five-foot-eight), so being that weight was no small feat, but I was the
best at surviving!
So, you get fat by simply overeating more energy points than you expend.
Not because you ate carbs. Not because you drank to excess. Not because you
ate the wrong food. NOOOOOO, stop. Let’s be super clear about this: you
got fat because you ate more than you expended. End of story. Now you
know why! And now here’s the answer: you’ve got to consume less than you
expend and then your body will have to take the energy from somewhere
else. That’s right. It does have to take it from somewhere. You don’t run on
gases or fumes, or water or magic fairy dust. We run on energy points. If you
need more energy points and the food stores that you have eaten have been
depleted, your body must take it from your storage. And because fat storage
weighs something, when it gets used up your weight drops. That’s it; that’s
the answer. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you wanted to know how
to lose weight that’s how simple it is. Oh, and by the way, if you don’t have
any energy stores left (no more fat to burn), and you haven’t eaten, and
there’s nowhere else to take it from, your body starts shutting down, one
organ at a time. Because there’s no energy to get from anywhere else, and
you will die. It’s not rocket science. We run on energy. Accept this cold hard
truth!
Right about now, I can hear you shouting: but what about metabolism,
what about carbs, what about fasting, what about sugar, my body this, my
body that? Stop! Look, I promise, you have my word, that when you read this
chapter again, all those reasons, all those excuses will no longer be relevant.
You’ll see this as bona fide fact, if you don’t see it already.
A Few Last Words
In time, this book may make a few dollars after all the fees I have to pay,
but I’m not making huge money here. No personal gain or sixty bucks a
session. No twelve-week diets for eighty bucks that will get you shredded.
No sneaky marketing campaigns. I promise that by the end of this book you
will never need to buy another weight-loss product again, because you will
have full control of your weight for the rest of your life! You see, I went
through majority of my youth hating the way I looked and felt, and tried
every single diet under the sun. If there’s a weight-loss program on this
planet, I’ve tried it. Over thirty-forty different exercise plans—keto, no keto,
fasting, intermittent fasting, lemon diet, juice diet for sixty days straight, not
eating for two weeks straight, carb cycling, carb loading, cheat meals, cardio
for two hours a day. All in the hope that I would become skinny. In fact,
that’s how I came to finally understand how to make a shift personally and
easily, and I’m going to share it with you. I came to the answer simply
because I ran out of diet and training regimes to try! That’s right. I’d
purchased everything, from tablets to fat burners. There was nothing else they
could sell me. I admitted defeat. And that’s when I accepted those cold hard
truths.
Therefore, I’m telling you once again that everything else other than the
Weight-Loss Law is smoke and mirrors. Losing weight is eating less energy
points than you expend, so your body has to use the energy from its stores
because it has none anywhere else.
That is fact.
Remember it, learn it, understand it, and never forget it. No matter what
information you hear to the contrary, or what your mind tricks you into
believing. It simply isn’t true. Countless studies have been conducted: eat less
than you expend and you will continue to lose weight until you die.
End of story, period. And I hammer this home time and again because a
funny thing starts happening when we eat less than we expend: our brain
really does start playing tricks on us; it tries to convince us that there’s
something wrong. Maybe I should eat more. Maybe I should change my diet.
Maybe my body needs more fuel. And before we know it, we’re back to
where we started from, more frustrated, more deflated, and more resigned
than ever before. If you ever catch your brain saying something other than
eating less than you expend to lose weight then re-read this chapter, and get it
clear, once and for all.
Take-Home Points
So, let’s discuss what we’re looking at here: on the left side we have the
pain of staying the same. In our case example: the pain of having a cracked
screen, or the pain associated with having a cracked screen.
Then there’s the right side: the pain of changing. Now let’s look at that
the pain of changing in the case of the phone: driving to the shops, forking
out money, waiting an hour to get it fixed. When I say pain, I’m referring to
the perceived or actual feeling that we imagine in relation to the change itself.
Now, let’s see what the equation would look like when no change occurs,
when we don’t bother to fix the phone and we delay the change. And
remember, this is just an example:
Clearly, we can see that the perceived or real pain of staying the same
(not changing the screen) is a lot less than the pain associated with going and
getting it changed: taking time off work, waiting an hour, the drive to the
shop, et cetera. So, change simply does not occur. As humans are hardwired
for survival, we instinctually take the path of least resistance. Both sides are
painful! BUT it’s more painful to change, so we don’t! “Naturally”.
Therefore, we can see that when the pain of staying the same is LESS
than the perceived or real pain of making a change, then change doesn’t
occur.
Now, let’s elaborate on this example in a different way. The phone still
has a small crack but is still usable. Incredibly, your next-door-neighbor has
just started a phone repair business, where he actually repairs phone screens
from home! How lucky is that? He’s right next door and he offers to fix your
phone for free. And his service only takes five minutes instead of the hour it
would take at the shop in the city. So suddenly we have decreased the pain of
changing. No longer do we have to drive for half an hour. No longer do we
have to spend money, or waste a sizeable chunk of our time. We’ve
drastically reduced the pain of changing. This is what the equation looks like
now:
As you can see, we have shifted the perceived and actual pain involved,
by removing the time commitment, the financial burden, and providing a very
minimal path of resistance. For that reason, it seems silly not to fix the small
scratch now, as it doesn’t annoy you and you like having your screen intact.
The equation flips and change occurs.
And you can guess what happens when we drop the phone a third time
and it becomes almost unusable. At this point, the pain has drastically
surpassed that of staying the same. You need a phone to function, to hear
from your family and friends. So even if you had to drive to get it fixed and
spend a lot of money, the pain is perceived as less than the pain of having a
shattered phone!
I hope you’re still with me right now. This is a very important concept to
understand, because this is how ANY CHANGE EVER occurs PERIOD.
Picture the Scene
The alarm goes off. It’s cold outside and the bed is warm and toasty. It’s
Monday morning. You’ve got work in thirty minutes. If you don’t wake up
and get out of bed, you might get fired, you might lose your job. Then you
wouldn’t have a roof over your head. No food. You’d have to look for a new
job. That’s the pain associated with ignoring the alarm. So, you jump out of
bed, even though it’s cold and painful to get up, shower, dress, and head off
to work. Fast forward to Saturday. The alarm goes off. You don’t have to go
to work. It’s even colder outside and the bed is warmer than ever. There is no
pain or repercussions from not getting up at all. You hit the snooze button
and drift back off to sleep; you don’t make that change.
This applies to anything and everything you ever change; it runs second
by second. We can break it down to the most finite, granular level. But still,
most people are completely unconscious to it. Not you, though, because you
have now learnt The Equation of Change.
To recap: the equation is this—the real or perceived pain of staying the
same must be greater than the real or perceived pain of changing in order for
us to make a change naturally.
Another very important point to clarify: why do we say real or perceived
pain? Why not just real? Well, you see, we are very intelligent creatures.
Through evolution we have acquired the ability of conscious thought in order
to protect ourselves and survive. Often, we’ll imagine future scenarios based
on information we have gained in the past to determine if something will be
painful or not. It’s the reason you don’t touch a hot stove. You don’t need to
touch it to remind yourself that it will be painful to do so, based on past
experience. It’s a survival mechanism. To avoid danger. To avoid painful
feelings. Perception of past events creates our current reality. The only way
we learn is by experiencing painful events which teach us not to do them
again in the future. Therefore, we view our life through a filter, warning
signs. Survival mechanism at its core. Remember this, as it’s something we
will discuss again later in the book.
A helpful exercise: think of things that you have changed in your life—
the time you serviced the car, changed energy provider, bought double-
glazing. Map things out for yourself, using examples from your own
experiences. What was the perceived or real pain on both sides of the
equation when change occurred? Can you see that the pain of staying the
same became greater that the pain of changing? Or, alternatively, can you see
why you delayed changing? Was the pain associated with changing greater
than staying as you currently were? Doing this with examples from your own
life will help make this more real for yourself, as you begin to see that every
decision, every change you have ever made was actually based on The
Equation of Change.
Now you’ve been introduced to the equation, let’s examine the ultimate
change we are hoping to make a reality: weight-loss.
Take-Home Points
For most people who want to lose weight, there’s already fresh pain in
your mind associated with staying the same as you are now. It’s important for
you to visualize all these points for yourself. Because perceived pain exists
for each individual differently. Positive results for other people are just that:
solutions which worked for them but might not necessarily work for you.
And since this is the last book that you’ll even need to read in relation to
weight-loss, it’s time you started doing things for yourself, time you started
to take control of the situation.
Below I’m going to list potential pains associated with staying the same
weight you are now:
Lack of confidence
Lack of health
Potential risk if not already of disease
Social anxieties
Shame of oneself and one’s appearance
Vanity
Comparing mentality and thoughts of not being good enough
Physical abilities
Energy
Vitality
Limited mobility
Activities that you simply can’t do
Limited physical activities open to you
Sex life (lack of)
Romantic life (lack of)
Judgement from others
Judging yourself too harshly
Feelings of helplessness
Less income based on your appearance and self-respect
Attractive people, research suggests, earn more money on
average
Early death
Skin issues
Breathing issues
Asthma
Diabetes
Loneliness
Depression
Risk of suicidality
It’s certainly a long list, but not every negative consequence will resonate
with you. These, after all, aren’t the kinds of things we often think about.
On a personal level, in high school, and throughout most of my
childhood, I was constantly reminded that I was fat; that was my daily reality
—no friends, no hope, feelings of shame, fear of being laughed at, rejected,
excluded from everyday activities. In addition, I suffered from all the pains
associated with being overweight, not that I was consciously aware of them at
the time. Only when I started to associate weight-loss to The Equation of
Change was this clearly visible to me. And only then was I able to lose
weight permanently, easily and effectively. By the end of this book, you’ll be
able to do the same.
Personal Pain Points
At this point right here, you need to start thinking about what pain points
exist for you if you stay the same. For most people it’s probably why you
started reading the book in the first place. So, take a moment to think about
why you set out on this journey; why you’re on a mission to lose weight.
Now, to the right side of the equation:
The right side is where it gets funny—it’s not a side that most people look
at or examine for THEMSELVES. Instead we rely on other people to sell us
an EASY, painless solution towards losing weight, don’t we?
So, if weight-loss occurs when we expend more energy than we consume,
this means (as previously noted) that there are two ways to impact the energy
balance: consume less energy, eat less energy points, consume less food or
expend more energy to use more energy through movement and various
activities. Both of these have perceived or real pains associated with either
consumption or movement.
Next, let’s split the right side in to two pain sub-categories:
On the right side, we can actually impact change in two ways. Therefore,
we need to examine both carefully. What are the potential pains associated
with consuming less energy or moving more?
Again, put your beliefs to one side during this exercise, and start looking
at what the pain is for you, specifically, because this is where you start
looking at your individual feelings and thoughts.
To help you, here’s another list of general pain points on the left side of
the equation:
Painful to exercise
Don’t have time to exercise
Don’t have the will to exercise
Don’t have the physical ability to exercise
I love alcohol too much
I emotionally eat, so when I can’t eat I’m emotional
I feel faint without carbs
I don’t have time to cook
Healthy food is expensive
I go crazy without lots of food leading up to my period
There’s always bad food in the house that I’d have to throw it
away if I didn’t eat it
I don’t have self-control, so I can’t change who I am
I get hungry easily
I go out for lavish dinners and I don’t want to cut them out
I don’t want to cut out sugar
I don’t want to cut out burgers
I don’t want to cut out pizza
I don’t want to cut out take-out food, full-stop
I don’t want to cut out fizzy drinks
I don’t want to cut out meat
I’m a vegan so I can’t get enough protein
I can’t live without ice cream
I can’t live without chocolate
What resonated with you while reading the list? Did some of the
examples not relate to you at all, but others matched your situation perfectly?
Can you come up with your own?
Again, it’s time for you to take some initiative and write down what pains
exist for you. Remember: there is no right and wrong here. Whatever you’re
dealing with and whatever your perception is becomes your reality. Before
moving forward make sure you brainstorm and include at least three to five
things on both sides of the equation. This, by no means, is what you’ll end up
with. But it’s still important to get in the game and make this personal now.
It’s all good and well to just sit and listen or read, and think, Andrew’s right
and I can see how that would work. But you’re not going to make this real
until you wake up and start taking control—right here, right now. This is your
life, your weight, your vitality, your longevity, so get on the court and jot
down some points for yourself on both sides of the equation.
On the next page is a space where you can make a list for yourself (and if
you’re reading this in digital format or listening to the audiobook, then grab a
piece of paper and make your own list now). To help you get started, I’ll give
you an example of what the equation could look like on both sides:
Instruction: fill out or jot down the pains that a real for you of your own
equation of change in terms of weight-loss.
Here’s a blank one that you can fill out for yourself:
At this stage, you should be acutely aware that there’s pain associated
with both sides of the equation, especially in how it relates to you.
It’s the constant balance of this equation that has made your attempts to
lose weight easily, effectively and permanently, without yoyoing, fail so
miserably. The constant back and forth of these pains that causes the
equation to swing in your favor and out.
Now that we know the equation and exactly what we’re dealing with, let’s examine why the very
basis of a diet or an exercise regime is a recipe for disaster; a billion-dollar industry that has failed to
address the psychological change involved in getting the results you want.
Take-Home Points
As you can see, as the pain builds on the right side, the left side becomes
less than the real/perceived pain of the diet. When the equation is imbalanced
by the pain on the right side—BANG—the change stops. We’re back to
square one again. Only now we’ve added a perceived belief in our mind: that
the pain of changing is very painful and very hard. In fact, we may reach a
point where we’re so resigned that we don’t want to try again because the
pain is all too fresh in our minds.
Timeout. I want you to pause for a moment now, and let that fact sink in.
Look at all your previous attempts. Can you see what happened? Can you
remember when the equation finally flipped and you fell off the diet plan?
Can you see how you attributed this to your own failure, even though the
marketers only got you sold on their plans in order for you to buy their
product?
Relax! You can take a breath now. Because let me tell you: it’s not your
fault. You weren’t given all the necessary information to succeed. The fault
lies with them. What we’re going to do next is uncover all the great myths
surrounding weight-loss. By the end of this book, you’ll know the truth, and
will never be sold on a diet plan again or fall for another of their easy quick-
fix methods, or their sales jargon.
Now, if you’re reading this and thinking, Well, I sometimes succeed or I
can stick to a diet longer than five days or I’ve dropped weight before and
stuck it out but then it just comes back again, it’s BECAUSE you used
discipline and force to get there. You believed in the myth that only will-
power and dedication or secret brain tricks will get you through. But
discipline can easily crack and you’ll be right back where you started from,
back to your previous eating habits, your old weight. It’s a vicious, never-
ending cycle of self-loathing and flimsy excuses. All discipline does is try
and cheat the equation. But cheaters never win; it’s never permanent, and it’s
never easy to be in a state of constant discipline.
For now, let’s look at the similar ways they try to sell exercise programs,
not so much by what they say but what they don’t say…
The Truth About Exercise Programs
On the front cover of every exercise program you’ll see a toned, athletic
model—Twelve weeks to get ripped, Twelve weeks to your beach body, Six
weeks to get abs like hers. So, you pick up the program and have a read. It
looks okay. A few crunches here and there, a few weights. Then you make a
start, and what they didn’t tell you is that your body will be sore after a
workout, that by the next day you won’t have much energy and will barely be
able to move. They also didn’t tell you that without a proper eating plan you
won’t lose any weight, either. Therefore, your results aren’t shaping up as
you thought they would. After a week or two, you miss a day, and the same
spiral of shame takes over, the same self-reproach: I’m obviously not good
enough, I’ll never look like those people on the front of those magazines, I’ll
never get the before and after photos like they told me. Again: similar story.
They avoid telling you about the real pain; they avoid telling you the truth.
Because the truth would sound like this: this exercise regime is grueling.
Every day you will feel sorer than before. You will lack motivation and
energy with each passing session. Results are slow, really slow. You may not
see any noticeable difference in the mirror for the first four weeks; in fact,
your weight might actually go up during the first two weeks. Oh, and if you
don’t eat the right diet (which we didn’t include with this plan, by the way),
you won’t lose any weight at all. So now that you know all of this, why not
buy another workout plan, more tailored to your personal needs? How many
people would buy a plan like that? Yep, you guessed it—none. That’s why
they do this; they hide, conceal or skew the truth. And if I wanted to make a
fast buck then that’s the route I’d go down. I’d be rich while other people
suffered, while they became more ashamed of themselves for not being able
to stick to any plan for long.
Look, I’m not here to judge these people and neither should you. After
all, they didn’t have the know-how that forms the basis of The Psychology of
Weight-Loss to share with you, the missing link. But this book, right here,
right now, uncovers the truth without any magic mirrors or fairy dust. By the
time you finish the final chapter it will be within your power to easily control
your weight without using huge amounts of discipline. The balance of the
equation will be in your favor; you will be in full, complete control of your
very own equation of change.
Take-Home Points
Analyzing your life and how changes occur in your life is not
easy and I commend you for setting yourself this challenge
The rest of the book will be split into two sections—the two
sides of the equation
How to increase the pain of staying the same
How to decrease the pain of changing
There will be instructions for you to follow, instructions essential
to achieving the desired the results, even though it may be an
uncomfortable ride
Get excited—you’re already so much closer to getting control of
your weight forever
CHAPTER SEVEN
Okay, let’s discuss the left side of the equation now. For most people this is
the easiest part of the program, because we’re going to focus on your reason
for losing weight; your Why. Put simply: if there was no present pain to begin
with, then there wouldn’t be any desire to change, right? Be warned, though.
Don’t assume that you already have this side locked down. Remember, if you
were truly aware to the pains of staying the same way, and that pain was
great enough then the goal of weight-loss would have already occurred.
There are some very specific instructions for you to follow in the next few
chapters, and some simple written exercises to carry out. All of which will
profoundly affect your way of looking at things in terms of your own pains
and motivation.
With me so far? Good.
Now, in the past, you may have read countless books or listened to
countless motivational speeches on how you’ve got to find your Why, your
purpose, why you’re doing something in the first place. Most of the content
will be in relation to positive things: how I want be able to do this, do that,
how my life is going to be transformed from here on out—with a multitude of
hi-fives, firecrackers and empowering sound-bites. Things that make you feel
good about yourself. Things that truly provide momentary motivation and
perceived pleasure, when that image of what you want is so clear. But this
can be a very deceptive mind-set.
The Problem with Motivation
From personal experience, I know how hard it is, almost impossible to
stay motivated in that way. Because—yep, you guessed it—you’re still using
discipline to enforce change. You’re trying to fix an image of pleasure clearly
in your head. You’re trying desperately to be positive. When pain in relation
to change starts to develop, that image gets duller and duller. Eventually
you’ll forget all about it and cave in, or let yourself off with some flimsy
excuse: Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow, Maybe I’ll start the diet again in the
morning. Now, I know what I’ve just said goes against all motivation
techniques that exist today, in the twenty-first century. Which would be fine
if my clients and I had never tried any of those techniques. But think about it.
Haven’t you already dreamt of having a six-pack? Or of being healthy
enough to run marathons? Or slim enough to get into those skinny jeans?
Think about the positive imagery you’ve used in the past. What have your
reasons been?
Found any? Cool. But haven’t you ever asked yourself why they didn’t
work for you before? It’s pretty good sexy imagery, isn’t it?
Stop. Rewind.
Let’s put it another way: if those techniques had been in any way valid,
they would have produced results already. If we look at The Equation of
Change the distinct problem lies in the fact that we’re not actually applying
the equation at all. On the left side, we’re not focusing on the pain but the
feel-good stuff instead, the stuff that makes you feel temporarily positive
about yourself. There’s no pain in: I want a six-pack. There’s no pain in: I
want an incredible sex life. There’s no pain in: I want to feel energized all
day. There’s no pain in: I want to have a beach body. It doesn’t stimulate
your survival instincts. Those statements we keep repeating to ourselves,
even though they stem from pain, in our heads, are framed positively.
And that doesn’t work.
You need to continue using discipline to keep it going. Believe me. I did
it. I tried living my life by every positive statement there was. Seriously. I
would plaster them on my walls, on the dashboard in my car, all over my
desk at work. I would listen to recordings of my own voice for positive
reinforcement of why I wanted to lose the weight. I kid you not. I was a
lunatic for this stuff, was as determined to lose weight as a person could be.
But nothing worked—nada, no good—not in a lasting, healthy and permanent
way. If I did manage to force a change through discipline, it would inevitably
fail after a few weeks or months. Then I was back in the same shame spiral
thinking that I just didn’t do it right!!!
Well, guess what? Only a very simple change is needed to remove the
massive amounts of effort required to make the change. It’s all about the way
you frame it up in your mind.
Want to find out how? Here goes…
Step One
Now, I’m going to ask you to get on the court again to go through this
exercise with me. As we do so, I want you to focus on your feelings.
Specifically, on how motivated you feel towards making a change, in regard
to your current intake or expenditure of food and exercise.
I want you to choose one of the positive reasons you have and write it
down on a piece of paper. Here are some examples of what they could be:
I want a six-pack
I want to be popular
I want to be the manager of our company
I want an amazing sex life
I want to live longer
I want to be an inspiration
Et cetera
Get the picture? Good. Now I want you to choose one that’s real for you.
Once you’ve done that, we’re going to alter the statement slightly. Instead
of: here’s what I want—we’re going to change it to: what it’s like for us now
not having that thing, the reality, truth, fact.
Step 1—Admit to where you currently are and the impact it’s
having on you now
Step 2—Have a look at the impact of staying the same way over
the next year
Step 3—Now build a clear vision, a picture of you and your
future over the next 10+ years if you stay the same way
Those are the steps to realizing your true pains, by asking
questions of yourself that you don’t really want to ask
The more honest your responses are the better this will work
The more vivid imagery you can use in your movie trailer of
your foreseeable future if you don’t change, the better it will
work
Do the exercise—don’t skip it!
CHAPTER NINE
Alright, great work so far! Now let’s examine what we’ve actually done; let’s
bring things back to The Equation of Change. Because, believe it or not,
you’ve just successfully brought the concept to front of mind. You’ve
increased the perceived and real pain of staying the way you are now. This is
one of the single most important parts of the entire program! To have
completed it so soon should give you a massive confidence boost; a massive
sense of achievement! For we now know that the greater the pain on the left
side, the more geared you are towards changing.
As you can see, we’ve already swung the equation in favor of natural and
instinctual psychological change. So even if we didn’t work on the right side
at all from here on out, this would already impact upon your weight. Because
you have already swung the equation in your favor. This is also why it’s
crucial to dig deep and really extrapolate what the impact will be, over time.
This will make the pain stronger, clearer and permanent, over time.
Things to Note When Change Starts Occurring
Firstly, your pains are real right now, based on your current state of
affairs—whether you’re ten, twenty, fifty or even one hundred kilos
overweight. So, when change starts occurring—which it will—the left side
pain will naturally start to diminish, as some of the pain has disappeared. For
example, your current pain might be that you never get a second look from
the opposite or same sex. However, you may drop some weight and suddenly
start receiving admiring glances, getting the attention you once craved. So
that original pain point starts becoming duller, nowhere near as painful. A
good, positive thing! It’s what we’re hoping for: to be able to remove all your
real and perceived pains until you’re the exact weight that you want to be.
Fully under your control.
In fact, when I used to build my own list of Whys, the main focus of
motivation was towards attracting a partner. Invariably, this is what would
happen: I’d drop a lot of weight while my pain was strong. Then suddenly,
I’d start to receive attention from someone I was attracted to. Often, we
started dating. But it was then something strange happened. Because the pain
wasn’t present anymore, I put all the weight back on again. And before I
knew it, I was blaming my partner for making me fat. It was her fault because
I was too happy! Ha-ha. Can you relate to that? Can you see the contrary,
inexplicable things that happen to our minds when we remove the real or
perceived pains from our lives?
In addition, what you’ll find, at times, is that you will plateau. Or the
weight-loss and drive or motivation to change will be less than it was before.
When this happens it’s a signal; something you should be observant enough
to recognize. It means that the pain has subsided. When this happened to me,
I would throw all kinds of discipline at it—you’ve got to work harder, be
more focused, six-packs, fireworks, the same old rubbish that never worked
for me before.
But don’t worry. It’s easy to rectify.
Instructions for When Pain has Subsided or Motivation has Decreased
All you have to do is revisit the exercise. Start afresh and write it all out
again. Become present to the pains and the reality of your situation and
understand what it will be like if nothing changes. It won’t take long.
Besides, what’s twenty minutes or half-an-hour out of your day, if you can
reinvigorate your motivation? But beware. By the point you plateau, you’ll
notice that some pains will no longer be real or true to you. They may’ve
subsided, no longer exist, or the pain may’ve become duller. Like I
mentioned earlier, you may now be receiving those admiring glances you
once hoped for. Therefore, the pain has subsided. When this happens, ask
yourself about your current pains. It could well be that you have new pains,
new goals that create new sources of pain. Now, when I say goals—you
may’ve dropped a few pounds and now want to try for the six-pack you’ve
always wanted—again beware. Remember not to fall in the trap of thinking
in a positive or goal-orientated way. If you do, you’ll lose focus of the pain.
Therefore, frame it up in the same way, of what it’s like for you now, not
achieving that goal or not having what you want, and the impact that will
have over the course of your life. Play it out through your movie trailer.
Again, pen to paper always works best. If you find that you have hit your
goals and there is no more pain, but the weight seems to be creeping back on,
all you have to do is revisit your original pains to remind yourself of what it’s
like if you go back to the way you were.
So, great, simple. We’ve covered a few new concepts. We’ve increased
the pain, and you now know what to address when motivation seems duller or
not as strong. By doing so, guess what?—you’ve just cured yourself of
yoyoing. That’s right. I’ll say it again: you’ve just cured yourself of yoyoing.
But what is it? What is yoyoing?
Yoyoing: What to Look Out For
Yoyoing is when you drop weight and, for whatever reason, put the
weight back on again. As a result, you get disheartened and can’t quite figure
out why. Here’s the reason, in relation to The Equation of Change, why
yoyoing occurs. You experience pain—the reason why you make a change—
then the change happens, and suddenly that pain is gone. You’re now happy
with where you are and aren’t thinking about the potential pains of going
back to where you were before. So, naturally, you start eating more and
moving less. Over time, your weight creeps up. The moment you realize this,
the pain is back. But it’s already too late as you have put most of the weight
back on! That’s yoyoing. Having the pain present, changing until the pain
isn’t present, and then not being aware when the pain returns or motivation
recedes. Now you know what signals to look out for, and the very simple way
to get right back on track.
Now, as the book progresses, we’ll teach you more ways to catch and be
present to your yoyos. Yoyoing is a big thing. Because, historically, people
have always been successful at losing a few pounds here and there (and if
you haven’t, don’t worry, I’ll help you drop the weight anyway). Catching
yoyos is one of the most important factors in this your journey to gaining
control over you weight; something we’ll discuss at greater length later in the
book.
Important Points to Remember
To recap: the simplest way to get back on track during a plateau is to
bring to front of mind the pains that you suffered being the way you were
before—so you may reach your desired weight, your goals, and all pains will
be removed. It’s all very straightforward. Read back over the pains you once
had to remind yourself of what pain you are avoiding by staying at your ideal
weight now. This will manifest easily. Like the hot plate on a stove
reminding you not to touch it. See your hot plate. See your pains. And you
will stop it in its tracks again.
Simple. It’s just a different way of looking at it. And The Equation of
Change makes all of this effortless.
Biggest take-home point thus far: you now know how to impact the left
side of the equation, and if you ever feel motivation slipping, it’s a signal that
the pain has decreased on the left side. Therefore, you need to address the
new and current pain to reignite your change equation and become present to
pain again. Perfect.
For now, let’s move on to the right side of the equation.
Take Home-Points
Addressing the current pains of staying the same and the impact
they have over a long period of time, increase the perceived and
real pain of staying the same
This is a direct hack, like a cheat code, for the equation of change
by swinging it positively towards natural change
If you reach a plateau or motivation drops, the easiest way to get
back on track is to repurpose and refocus on your pains
Your ability to identify the moment when motivation or change
plateaus will allow you to stop yoyoing, thus stopping weight
gain after weight drops
You now know how to impact the left side of your personal
equation of change
CHAPTER TEN
The Right Side of the Equation
Why, oh why, is it so difficult to lose weight? Why does it have to be so
painful, filled with sacrifice? Why do I have to cut out carbs? Why do I have
to reduce my sugar intake? Why do I have to eat broccoli? Why does there
have to be such a lack of enjoyment in life? Why can’t I just have the best of
both worlds? Why can’t I be skinny and eat cake too?
Well, you can.
Big statement, I know. But remember what I promised if you followed all
the instructions?—that you’d have full control of your weight, easily, reach
any weight goal you wished, easily, and be able to get there with a skip and a
dance along the way.
Look, I’ve been losing weight since I was a teenager. From sixteen to
twenty-six my weight fluctuated, up and down, and from side to side. Like I
said, I’ve done it all; I’m a failing to lose weight expert! An expert in the
wrong information! But having been through all of that, for so many years, I
can now say that I’ve mastered it, and shown other people how to master it,
too. If only I’d had the right information before I started dieting, my life
would’ve been so, so different. If only I’d have been given the right
knowledge when I was sixteen, I wouldn’t have had such intense self-doubts,
lack of energy, health problems. The dark thoughts you don’t even notice that
rob you of your natural shine and self-confidence. The feeling that you’re not
at peace with yourself, feelings that are worth more than money could ever
buy. If only I’d have known what I know today!
Reducing the Pain of Changing
To reduce the pain of changing is quite straightforward. First, we need to:
The highlighted column says 200 calories. Now, a lot of people will get
confused and assume that means 200 calories for the whole thing.
Wrong!
What the sneaky food companies do, knowing that you’ll be looking at
these labels to make sure the product doesn’t contain too many calories, is
state how many calories per serving size. As you can see: serving size 82g.
There are eight servings per container. Therefore, if you actually ate the
whole container, you’d be eating 200 calories times eight servings: a total of
1600 calories. Pretty straightforward, right?
Fun fact here: did you know that there are no laws regarding serving size?
For example, the label featured above is for one packet of caramel popcorn.
That’s right. To make it look like less, they split the packet on their label into
eight separate servings. But who in the world would not consider one single
packet of popcorn a single serving! I mean, we don’t usually have only half a
cup of popcorn, do we? If I go to the movies, I can’t order a half a cup of
popcorn, can I? Therefore, take the calories on the label and ask yourself how
many servings you’re going to have. If you were to have roughly half the
packet, you would estimate that to be 800 calories. Again: simple.
Note: Instead of calories, some labels have “Energy” and the metric until
will be measured in “kJ”
Now, the easiest way to convert “kJ” into calories is to divide it by four.
In this case 644/4 = 161 (the kj calories by the number of servings). The
actual division is by 4.184 but 4 is close enough. You need to make this as
easy and painless as possible, and rounding up intake always gets you there
in the end. Keep it simple : if you see kj instead of calories just divide it by 4
to get the calories and you’ll be good to go.
So, we’ve got our calories down on packaged foods: we simply estimate
the servings we are going to have from the food label, multiple it by the
calories, and bang we get our energy intake.
Two things you’ve just learnt:
Calories Per Serve * Amount of servings = Total calories
Energy in kj / 4 = Calories
Macronutrients
As you can see by the label, our macronutrients are clearly marked up as
well. Very easy.
And if you look closer, underneath the energy calorie line, you’ll see a
description of everything the food’s made up of. For now, we’re only
focusing on three things: fats, proteins and carbohydrates (and a separate line
for sugar). You don’t need to know why we’re tracking these yet, but all will
be revealed later in the book.
Back to the example above. All those macro numbers are per serving.
Whatever servings you’re going to consume times that by the relevant macro
number to get your total.
To clarify: If I was to have two servings then I would multiply the
relevant macronutrient by two to get my total for protein, fat, and carbs.
Therefore, if I had two servings of the above label my carbs would be
17grams by 2 servings = a total of 34 grams of carbs.
With me so far? Great.
How to Measure Serving Size Accurately
But what happens if you can’t estimate the serving size you’re going to
have? This is important, as we often underestimate the servings we consume
(hence why we’re above the weight we want to be). I don’t know about you,
but I can’t easily, without measuring, tell what 20 grams of peanut butter
looks like, or 10 grams of tomato sauce, or 3 grams of sunflower oil.
For that reason, some foods—sauces and condiments specifically—are
the servings which people struggle with most. It’s difficult to get a correct
estimate of the serving size they have eaten or will eat. The following tool is
for those items, or for those people who like to be more exact. Most
importantly, it’s a method you can use for anything.
Food Scales
For this next exercise, you’re going to need some food scales. If you’ve
got this far in the book, this far on your weight-loss journey, you should be
willing to spend $10 or even less on a set of scales. If not, read back over
your pain points to remind yourself why you’re doing this. Then get yourself
those damn scales! They’re cheap, easy, and available at pretty much every
supermarket, two-dollar stores or home depot outlet. Any set will do. They
have a very simple job of weighing things that usually weigh a lot less than
your body weight: food.
Here’s what a traditional set may look like:
They will usually have an on button, a unit button, for what you’re
measuring in grams or pounds (usually serving sizes are in grams), and a tare
button. Now the tare button basically calibrates the scale to zero even if
something is on it.
If you put an empty bowl on the scale it will show you what the bowl
weighs. If you press the tare button this will bring the scales number back to
zero. It will assume that whatever is on the scale is counted as zero. This
means that if I put something in a bowl, it would only show me the weight of
what was in the bowl and wouldn’t count the bowl itself as part of the
measured weight. Here’s an example. You may be having some cereal:
one serving equals 45 grams. But you have milk with your cereal: 250 ml/g.
Here are the steps to take to measure it out accordingly:
This will generate the exact same nutritional label that we saw in the
previous chapter. Yup, same one. Easy as that.
Pretty straightforward for simple foods; single items like our example: a
banana. But what if you were to eat a banana split from your local café? If
you don’t know what a banana split is, it’s a banana cut in half and filled with
ice cream and sprinkled with toppings such as nuts and syrup.
I call these foods Complex Foods.
Complex Foods are simply defined as meals that have several ingredients
or components to them.
This is where most people get confused and frustrated. But if you follow
the simple instructions; if you use modern technology to your advantage
(how long did it take you to do the Google search above: thirty seconds?
Maybe less) you needn’t be thinking about throwing in the towel just yet!
How to Track Complex Foods
If you’re eating a complex food, you’ll need to break all the ingredients
down. Let’s use our example, a banana split. Let’s separate it into individual
components:
Banana
Three scoops of chocolate ice cream
Some almonds I can see peeking out as well
Three strawberries
And strawberry topping
That’s all there is to the first step: splitting the dish into the individual
foods that you see.
Then, one-by-one, type each separate ingredient followed by nutritional
fact into Google. Hey, presto. It will display a label for you. Nice and easy.
Estimating Serving Size
Now, if the complex food that you’re eating has already been pre-
prepared, or you’re in a restaurant, you won’t be able get an accurate
representation of the serving size. If that’s the case, you’ll be estimating.
Please understand that estimates are just that: guestimates. If you’re eating at
a restaurant and try guessing what serving size the food is, most of the time
you’re going to be wrong. Take that as fact. Also, because you’ve never
tracked foods before, your guestimates aren’t going to be very good. But as
time passes, you’ll begin to know, instinctually, the values of certain foods.
Your guesstimates will become much more accurate, like second nature. But
for start, a guestimate will have to do.
In my experience, I’ve found that 95% of people (me, included) when
they start out with estimates, severely underestimate the calories they ingest.
Because most of us didn’t intentionally try to get fat. It just kind of happened.
Obviously, we thought we were eating less than we actually were. Hence, if
you’re over the weight you want to be, that’s probably a sign that you
underestimate the amount of food you consume. For that reason, let this be
one of your first lightbulb moments in regards to tracking your consumption.
Here’s how I would do it:
Take one banana, a regular banana, the label says one serving size. Type
one serving of banana into Google. Now, on the ice cream label it shows me
the unit in grams…hmmmm, it says one serving is 25 grams. Since I know
that I’m most likely underestimating, let’s put down four servings of ice
cream just to be safe (instead of underestimating—overestimate). And the
almonds I can see—what, six or seven of them?—and the label says one
serving is about twelve. Type in the amount for whole one serving—much
better to be over than under. And the strawberries I can see: three. I can be
exact with that. So, I track down three strawberries. Now the topping, well,
wild guess: a serving says one tablespoon. Let’s just call it five tablespoons,
because it’s all over the dish (instead of underestimating—overestimate
again).
Simple. I’ve just taken you through the mental process of how to estimate
—while strongly leaning towards overestimating rather than underestimating
your calculations.
Always Overestimate
As you can now see, there’s a huge margin for error. The serving sizes
may be off. You may miss a few ingredients or components and so on.
Undoubtedly, you’re going to get it wrong from time to time, especially when
you’re just starting out. Therefore, my rule is, always be safe and
overestimate. By overestimating, even if you counted an extra 100 calories,
then great. At the end of the day, you ingested 100 calories less than you
thought. Everyone’s a winner! On the flipside, if you underestimate you may
think you’re eating less than you’re expending, but, in actual fact, you might
not be.
Remember: none of this is scientific. None of this is hi-tech. But we live
in a world where there are so many things to eat. The reason diet and exercise
programs have failed in the past is because they limit what you can and can’t
eat; to try and ensure that everything gets tracked precisely. It’s either one
way or the highway. But why wouldn’t I want to go out to dinner at a
restaurant from time to time? If I’m prohibited from doing normal, everyday
things, things which bring me pleasure, it’s going to make the choices far
more painful for me. And you guessed it—the more painful the changes we
make, the more we swing The Equation of Change back in favor of staying
the way you are today! Something we should try and avoid at all costs.
So, get comfortable estimating as best you can. That way you can still
enjoy life, and hit your goals at the same time ☺
Be safe and overestimate—that’s my recommendation.
Practice Makes Perfect
Over time, say when you eat a banana split, you’ll realize you were
wildly off in your calculation. What you thought was a 25gram serving of ice
cream was actually a 50gram serving. Well, with that in mind, the next time
you eat a banana split again, your estimate will be a lot more accurate. Again:
simple. As you track and level up in knowledge you’ll get better and better at
this every day. Like I keep hammering home: once you know something you
can’t unknow it ☺
I hope I’m not losing you here. The estimating of prepared foods is
probably one of the stickiest points for people, especially those who like to be
exact. If you’re a perfectionist like I used to be, don’t worry. The more you
practice this in real life the easier it will become and the better your
guestimates will be. The secret is not getting it right first time but figuring
things out along the way. Something all my clients have done in the past, and
something I’m certain you’ll be able to do soon too ☺
Useful Tips and Tricks to Help You Get Started
Below are a few tips to help you avoid the big, BIG underestimations that
can throw your tracking out of whack.
Amount of TDEE/
Description
Exercise/Activity Maintenance
TDEE = 1.2 x
Sedentary Little or no exercise/desk job
BMR
TDEE = 1.375 x
Lightly active Light exercise/sports 1–3 days per week
BMR
TDEE = 1.55 x
Moderately active Moderate exercise, sports 3–5 days per week
BMR
TDEE = 1.725 x
Very active Heavy exercise/sports 6–7 days per week
BMR
If I was that same woman, and I worked at a desk job and went for a walk
a couple of times a week, I would consider myself in the lowest banding there
is: sedentary. Therefore, I would calculate:
1,615 x 1.2 = which would give me 1,938 calories for the day.
To ease the pain of working all of this out, you can get your own free
calculator from the website. Again, if you haven’t registered into the free
members’ section yet, I suggest you do so now. You’ll find more
motivational tools and detailed resources that will make your whole weight-
loss journey that much easier.
www.andrewv.com.au/psychologyofweightloss/
Please don’t be daunted by all these calculations. They’re just a best
guess! Because…
One Size Doesn’t Fit All
Most dieting websites and books will have you believe in a one size fits
all equation. But that’s simply not true. Have you ever seen two people look
exactly the same, act exactly the same, move exactly the same, have the exact
same energy levels? Of course not. At best, such an equation is only ever a
decent guestimate and guideline. Each of your individual requirements are
actually based on a multitude of factors. By taking these calculators as facts,
you’re doing yourself a disservice.
Let’s look at some of the factors that can send these calculations way out
of whack.
Muscle Versus Fat
The first factor to consider is how much muscle you have versus fat on
your body. Why this makes a difference is simple. All cells in the body
require energy to stay alive and keep functioning, fat cells and muscles
included. Put simply: if you put muscle cells and fat cells side by side, a
muscle cell is denser, it weighs more, and will require more energy points or
calories to stay alive. If you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dwayne Johnson
(think big, big bodybuilders) the energy requirements to keep your body
functioning will be higher than someone with less muscle. Pretty
straightforward concept to grasp. Another thing you might’ve known already.
Because it’s one of the first things people consider. What I’ll do is put lots
more muscle on, because muscle will help me burn calories. That’s where the
proposition comes from. Because the more muscle you have the higher your
calorie expenditure is.
How Old You Are
Age also plays a major part. Imagine you’re sixteen, running around, full
of energy. Imagine the amount of movement and energy expenditure of a
sixteen-year-old in comparison to someone of sixty. The sixty-year-old will
move much slower, jump less, take less steps. Therefore, age plays a big part
in how much your body requires in terms of energy. The older you get, the
less expenditure you’re going to use. It’s a fact of life.
Gender Considerations
Your gender! Yep, you heard me right. Women have it much tougher. On
average their energy requirements are 10-15% less than that of men. In fact, a
lot of women complain about eating the same amount as their partner but
gaining weight while he isn’t. Well, here’s your answer women: you require
less calories than that of your counterpart male. Muscle mass is also a factor,
as males are more predisposed to having higher muscle synthesis.
Hormones
Then we have hormones, like estrogen, testosterone and cortisol.
Especially cortisol; your stress hormone. One of the biggest myths is that we
all know one really skinny person who eats everything under sun but never
puts on any weight. Well, cortisol plays a major role in that. Because
sometimes we experience times of major stress in our lives—break-ups,
deaths, or other major cortisol lifters—that cause a huge increase in energy
expenditure. Or we may suffer anxiety or panic attacks. All of these, you
guessed it, require a lot more energy to function. Hence their expenditure is
more.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
All in all, what you need to understand is that the energy expenditure is
INDIVIDUAL. Not only for you forever, but on any given day, or at any
given period of your life. Your expenditure will always fluctuate, and it’s all
super personal to you. Therefore, even though the calculator itself is a good
tool, it only provides a ROUGH guideline.
So, Andrew, how in the hell am I meant to consume less, if I don’t know
how much is going out, and if I know that it can change on any given day?
I’ll be back to square one! Well, guess what? You’re in luck. Your body
has actually gone through evolution and designed a signal system just for
you! Yep, that’s right. A signal telling you when you’ve replenished your
energy requirements.
Listen to Your ST Signal (ST Signal stands for Smell and Taste Signal)
When your body has been replenished with enough food, your food stops
tasting as good. It doesn’t smell as good. Have you ever noticed that the
hungrier you are the better your food tastes and smells? And what happens
when you binge on a big bowl of pasta when you’re already full, when you
can barely fit it all in? How do those last few forkfuls taste? Anywhere near
as good as the first few forkfuls? Have you ever paid attention to the
difference in ST signals that you get? I certainly didn’t until I found out about
this. See, we’ve been brainwashed into believing that overeating is
pleasurable, that stuffing our faces with large quantities of food is enjoyable.
But have you ever actually checked that out for yourself? Is it actually
enjoyable to overeat like that? Or is it more an unpleasant struggle? Well, this
may be a good place to start, to notice when food tastes and smells really
good and when it’s not so good, bland, unpalatable.
Remember, we’re generally eating the same types of foods, so it’s not
that the food tastes or smells different on different days, or different types of
day. We’re usually eating the same kind of stuff. It’s all related to your actual
hunger! It’s a signal! When food doesn’t taste or smell so great, you’re done.
Your energy stores are replenished. Pretty easy, right? It’s called mindful
eating. Start to look out for this yourself.
Sugar: Beware
There’s one exception to the rule regarding signals, something that
actually hijacks your brain, sending out a constant signal that makes you feel
like you’ve never had enough—and that’s sugar. We’ll talk about sugar later
on in the book. But for now, remember that the sugar signal will keep telling
you to consume more and more, well past the point of you being full up.
Mindful Eating: What to Look Out For
Now that you’re tracking your food, I want you to start paying attention
to your natural signal system, which tells you how food tastes and smells in
relation to the quantity of calories consumed. That way, you can start making
that connection for yourself. As you do, a funny thing will begin to happen:
you’ll notice that when you’ve overeaten, food tastes boring, like you’re
going through the motions. In contrast, when you’re hungry you’ll start to
appreciate how good food actually tastes. By becoming hungry you increase
the pleasure of eating itself!
Nifty trick!
Remember I told you how you’d start to enjoy eating food more while
regaining control of your weight! Well, this is how. Mindful eating. The time
you really start being conscious of how you feel while you’re eating—the
taste, smell—your whole body will send signals to you. In the past, you
may’ve noticed this when you’re really hungry and smell a doughnut or
bacon sizzling in a pan. The hungrier you are, the more your senses heighten.
Your body is saying I need food, my energy points are running low! Let me
give you an example. Once I undertook a diet, where I fasted on water for
two weeks. About a week in, I promise you, I could smell a watermelon
being sliced open from two hundred meters away! At the time, I worked in a
really large office. I was so hungry; I could barely breathe. I thought I was
doing all the right things, using discipline, will-power, and I still remember
how I could smell that damn watermelon! At times like this your body is
saying I need food; my energy points have run low. Pure instinct. Isn’t it
funny how our bodies come predesigned with the systems to keep us at a
healthy weight, yet we’ve simply never learnt to listen to them?
Average Calorie Expenditure
As mentioned above, the calculator is just a guideline. Great for people
who want a formula. But as you now realize, we’re all subject to so many
individual changes, it’s impossible for us to know our “exact” daily
expenditure. For that reason, we’re going to have to come up with a solid
working average going forward. If we can make it say, 95% accurate, it’ll be
a great starting point.
Below is a good guideline regarding average calorie expenditure:
1900 – 2600 –
2100 2900
Choose the lower estimate if you’re short and not particularly muscular or
active, and higher if you’re taller and bulkier and move more. These can be
your rough benchmarks of what you most likely on average expend per day.
Keep this in the back of your mind when you total up your daily intake
and see if you’re well over or well under those numbers. Then start
correlating it, gently, to how you feel about the food in question. Ask
yourself: if my numbers were low today did my food taste better? Did I enjoy
it more? Or maybe my numbers were very high yesterday, but did the food
taste as good? Or maybe I had a really large breakfast and lunch just didn’t
taste very nice; like I was going through the motions. Start making those little
connections between the total estimated numbers you require to survive and
how your food tastes. This link alone will help you be conscious of it, and
help you begin the process of rewiring your brain in relation to food.
In time, you’ll start to naturally enjoy food more as you begin to notice it
tasting better when you’re hungrier. As a result, you’ll actually start to seek
out these pleasurable experiences. Feeling hungry and then relieving that pain
by eating is one of life’s natural pleasures, pleasures we experience multiple
times a day. However, to experience the pleasure you first have to be hungry.
But don’t take my word for it. See it for yourself in your own food in your
own way. I’m just here to guide you through. It’s up to you to start taking
notice.
Take-Home Points
Sugar is a carbohydrate
1 gram of sugar = 4 Calories
Sugar is an addictive drug—it will override the hunger signal
Eating more sugar, makes you want more—start observing the
relationship between your craving signals and how much sugar
you’ve had over the past one to three days, and note the
correlation
Eating less sugar makes you want less
Most of your favorite foods will have a sugar component to them
Be patient with yourself and just observe. There’s nothing more
to do now other than to track, observe, and level up in knowledge
of your own consumption
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Alcohol
Now it’s time to mention alcohol. The reason: alcohol is often a sticking-
point with lots of people. There’s so much discussion today about weight-loss
and drinking, how people feel doomed to be overweight if they don’t cut
alcohol out of their diets. If this applies to you, what you are about to read
will be the light at the end of the tunnel ☺ . The reality is there’s lots of
misinformation out there surrounding beer-bellies or I’m fat because I drink
too much alcohol or because I drink I can’t lose weight. And again, you
guessed it: it’s all a myth. In versus out. Alcohol is in no way, shape or form
nutritious or healthy, but it sure as hell doesn’t magically bypass the
equation!
Another simple search on our good friend Google will show us exactly
what we need to know to track alcohol. For example, below is the nutrition
label that shows up when we Google a Corona beer:
As you can clearly see, alcohol is just like anything else you consume—it
has trackable calories.
Reminder: if you eat less calories than your body uses for the day then
you will lose weight. Therefore, if you thought alcohol was your problem—
it’s not ☺
Things You Do Need to Know About Alcohol
Firstly, alcohol messes with the natural hunger systems we’ve been
discussing. While intoxicated your brain’s natural signals are not as easy to
pick up on. You may find yourself craving starchy, fatty foods. Or your sugar
cravings may be higher. This is because the alcohol in your body acts like a
mild poison. As a result, it sends messages or signals to the brain to try to
dilute the poison or mask the sensation. Or it sends out various signals or
cravings which, when sober, you may not be inclined to listen to. But when
alcohol is involved, you begin to be more susceptible to these signals.
Beware.
When intoxicated (and often the day after) your natural signals are a little
more flawed than usual. It’s important, therefore, to be even more aware of
what you’re putting into your body in relation to calories. During these
episodes, your signals, as much as your judgement, are all out of whack.
Often, we’ll throw everything else out the window and end up at McDonald’s
for a late-night burger and fries! Ha-ha-ha! I’m sure I’ve done that a few
times too many, as I’m sure we all have.
Secondly, and this isn’t common knowledge, but believe it or not, you
may wake up the morning after a night out drinking alcohol, looking leaner
and weighing less than you did the day before. In fact, you may even have
overconsumed your daily calorie expenditure but look and even feel lighter.
Why is that? Did we somehow magically cheat the in versus out equation?
Well, yes and no.
What most people don’t realize is that alcohol causes dehydration; it’s a
diuretic. What happens is that alcohol helps you get rid of some water
storage. As water weighs a certain amount it will look and feel like you’ve
got leaner. But over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, when the water
inevitably replenishes itself, you’ll be back to square one again. In the
interim, however, your scales may show that you’ve dropped a pound or two.
Don’t be fooled!
This didn’t actually happen. Not really. Because the numbers in your
diary didn’t correlate to that.
To reiterate: water caused a drop in weight, and the water will return
soon. Again, you can’t cheat the in versus out equation, in terms of calories.
It’s LAW in the weight-loss and weight-gain world.
Take-Home Points
This is what your typical calculation might look like. You can see that
some days were over and some days were under. The week ended in a deficit
of 700 calories: we used up 700 calories of our own spare tank to feed our
body’s energy requirements. You lost weight—simple.
Therefore, the first thing to understand in relation to your own food intake
is what actually happens over the course of your week.
Changing Your Mindset: Thinking Weekly
On days when I myself overate, my motivation plummeted; the pain of
changing didn’t seem worth it. I felt, or perceived, that all my hard work was
undone. When this happens, we need to bring things back to the equation. By
thinking in single days at a time, if I overeat on a particular day, my
perceived pain is higher because I think I’ve gone backwards, right? The first
psychological shift I would recommend, therefore, is to start looking at your
weekly totals instead of focusing on your daily totals. If you overeat one day,
all you have to do is under-consume over the next few days (or by the end of
the week) to balance it out. Play it like a game almost.
For a lot of people, the first step is getting to a point where these totals are
the same or balance out by the end of the week. Easy, right? I mean, if you
overeat, for the next couple of days or meals you’re not going to be as
hungry, anyway. So, it will be relatively easy to under-consume the next few
days. This will mean that you’re actually able to take control of your weight
and stop any weight gain.
That’s huge!
In terms of changes to your diet, intake, consumption that’s absolutely
your first goal: learning how to balance your totals out by the end of the
week.
But What Does that Actually Do?
If you learn how to balance out by the end of the week, it means that you
will no longer put on any weight. If you’re able to have a motivating week
and lose a kilo, you’ll be able to hold onto that weight-loss. Therefore, any
progress you make, you’ll be able to maintain. This one lesson alone is worth
its weight in gold!
There is a small caveat to this, however: the number we’re using is the
average guestimate of total daily expenditure: the 1,900 or 2,600 calories. As
we discussed earlier—each person’s requirements are different on any given
day—so these figures may be off for you.
With that in mind, if, by the end of the week, you have balanced out your
intake but for some reason your weight on the scale has increased, you’ll be
in for a nasty surprise.
The important thing here is not to panic. Look at the data through new
eyes.
1. What was your carbohydrate intake over the last two days before
your weigh-in? Because, remember, if it was higher, you may be
holding onto some water. Therefore, dropping your
carbohydrates to lower points over the next couple of days and
then seeing what the scales say is useful before making any
changes or assuming that the total daily expenditure estimate is
wrong.
2. If you’re a female, where are you in relation to your cycle? If
you’re in the last week or two leading up to your menstrual cycle
then you will naturally be holding onto 1-3kg extra—something
to bear in mind. At that point, I would give it another week or
two before making any changes or assumptions that your
expenditure is off.
3. If you’re eating out a lot and guesstimating your food intake
regarding complex foods, you may actually be underestimating
your consumption.
4. If all those things seem fine—you’re not having a lot of
carbohydrates, you’re not holding a lot of water, you’re not about
to commence your menstrual cycle, and you’re pretty spot on
with your numbers—only then might your total daily
expenditure be less than the average guestimate.
I hope this all makes sense. I know it’s a lot to take in. Let it wash over
you and remember to have a good look at your results.
A Simple Rule of Thumb in Making Adjustments
The first goal is to get to a place regarding intake of whatever foods you
want to record, to a place where you stop gaining fat. My rule of thumb: if
the scales after one week show an increase, but your numbers show that you
should be balanced, wait one more week with the same intake. If the result is
still the same or it went up again, assume that your daily expenditure number
is wrong. If so, I would drop it by 150-300 calories per day. For example,
instead of 1,900 calories I would say that my total expenditure is 1,700 or
1,800. Try and meet those weekly numbers. Then analyze the results again.
You want to keep going through this process until you reach a point
where you stop gaining weight and level out. During this time, a lot of people
don’t have the patience, and start dropping their calorie intake in order to see
results faster.
I urge you not to do that.
Take the time to balance out your own intake versus your own
expenditure. It’s one of the most important skills to learn and master.
Because once you do so, you’ll stop your weight yoyoing back and forth.
This is HUGE for gaining control of your weight! It means that if you have a
good week, where the equation is working in your favor, where you’re
present to the pain of staying the same way, and are able to lose 1lb or half a
kilo, that weight-loss will actually stay with you. Because you have the
control of balance now. Imagine if you could do that over a prolonged period
of time. Not just a week but two weeks, a month, six months, a year!
Think about it.
If every time you drop a few kilos and actually manage to keep it off,
wouldn’t you be in a much better place than you were before? For many
people, this alone will deliver what I promised you: full control of your
weight. That’s right!
Take-Home Points
KEEP Tracking
Tracking is one of the most useful tools to ensure that you don’t
get too far off track—psychologically it will help you to avoid
you falling off the wagon
Keep tracking at least until you achieve your weight-loss goals
Just like brushing your teeth, this habit will become unconscious
to you and seem much easier as time passes
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
How to Make Changes to Your Intake
Now, if you’re anything like me; someone who tried many different diet
regimes, this is how you probably made changes to your diet: you read up on
what you had to eat, changed your entire intake, and did exactly as the diet
plan said, right? You’d literally remove all your comforts, change your
habits, and throw them all out the window, replacing them with someone
else’s knowledge of intake! As you no doubt understand by now, the spike in
pain of changing like that is huge.
Let me explain why.
Firstly, we’re creatures of habit; we take the path of least resistance.
Therefore, when we find something that we like or enjoy, we want to remain
exactly the same. We’re used to it; we’re comfortable. Simple. When we
change something, it’s new for our mind and body—we’re now in a
vulnerable place. During times of change, the level of pain and discomfort is
higher than when we’re doing what we’re used to doing.
Agreed?
So, as you can imagine, if you go ahead and replace all your old foods
with new foods, in one foul swoop, you’re creating a massive amount of pain
in relation to changing your current intake. Because it’s all so new. This is
another big factor in why diets don’t really work and end up backfiring. You
may be okay for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, because you use
discipline and motivation to push through. But, as you’re now painfully
aware, that only leads right back to where you started.
What we have to understand is that there’s a natural pain increase when
we change our habits. Therefore, we have to change one thing at a time, and
slowly, so as not to have a drastic influx of pain. That way you’re managing
your pain levels on the right side effectively, and keeping them as low as
possible.
How Those Changes are Made
To illustrate the point, I’m going to use Jack as an example again. As
you’ll recall, his end goal was to stop drinking coke with sugar. Why? He
drank three cans a day containing 120 calories each, 360 calories in total. If
we could remove them, over the course of one week, he’d eliminate 2,520
calories from his diet. For the month: 10,080 calories, a drop of over 1kg of
fat. Over the course of a year: 12kg.
Just by this one simple change!
Now imagine the difference over three to four years: a change of 36-
50kg. That alone would help anyone achieve their weight-loss goals.
I’ve made this point again to show you that huge, lasting, permanent
change can be made through relatively small alterations to your diet. You
don’t have to make drastic or huge changes to get massive results. Get that
idea out of your head, once and for all!
But back to Jack now.
He liked drinking coke; he liked the taste. If we took that away from him,
he’d be robbed of something his taste-buds enjoyed. Eventually, the pain
would rise until he’d fall off the wagon. The equation would flip back to
demotivation, as the pain of not having coke would be larger than the pain of
staying the same.
Put simply: he’d be right back to square one.
Therefore, we knew we had to keep his taste-buds happy. And this is how
we did it:
When making changes ensure that you’re causing the least pain
possible—absolute rule number one
Don’t listen to other people’s changes—just because it worked
for somebody else doesn’t mean it will work for you; everyone’s
equation of change pains are different
The easiest changes to make are minimizing your fat intake and
making changes to your unconscious calories—foods that you
repeatedly eat but aren’t really associated with any pleasure
towards the excess calories
Be sure to make changes gradually and slowly, in order to
minimize the pain of changing habits, to make them stick and to
make them long-term
Remember: a small daily change to something you eat often,
over the course of a month or a year, can make a massive
difference to your weight
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
At this point, you’re more than equipped to start making changes for
yourself. You know all the information. You understand the concepts. Now
it’s all about taking the leap and applying it—making those changes, trusting
in yourself, knowing that you’re not the same person who started reading this
book. From here on out, all changes will go through The Equation of Change
filter in your head. You know that the changes have to cause minimal pain.
You are now someone well on the way to mastering The Psychology of
Weight-Loss. The rest of the hardwiring to actually start building, and
continuing to build, will occur naturally as you make changes and start seeing
the results for yourself.
Tools to Help Make Changes to Your Intake
Listed below are a series of tools. When I say tools, I mean practical,
usable advice (from someone who’s tried every tool and diet under the sun!).
These easy-to-follow techniques will assist in balancing out your weekly
food intake and help you lose weight with control, freedom and ease. Not all
of the tools here will relate to you, or be viable, for that matter. The reason: I
don’t know you specifically. I don’t know what your pain points are, your
favorite meals, and what you’re dealing with on a personal level.
The tools I’ve selected will address a wide variety of pain points.
Hopefully some will resonate and help to get you started on your journey.
But remember, they’re only to be used if they don’t cause a lot of pain.
Regardless of a tool’s effectiveness in reducing your calorie expenditure, it
won’t work if you experience a high level of associated pain. Because it will
throw the equation out of balance, and you’ll drop the change completely.
Keep that in the back of your mind as you go through each tool. Ask
yourself: If I did this would I be okay, or would I be miserable? Would this
tool work for me?
More specifically, if you think, Oh, that’s for me, that’s sounds easy to
do, then maybe it’s a good one to try first. If it doesn’t cause you pain—great.
Keep it as a tool. But if it causes you pain, throw it away; it’s not for you. I
hope you’re catching a trend here: all this stuff is very specific to you. In
time, you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t. You know yourself
better than anybody; no one can tell you what to do in regards to having full,
lasting control of your weight forever.
Tool #1
If you find yourself having a high-sugar intake, this may cause more
craving signals, which you might confuse for hunger, making you want to
consume more. The tool I would suggest for this: Find Sugar Alternative
Foods for Some of Your Foods. It’s very easy to find the sugar content on any
given product—just read the nutritional label on the back. Or Google your
favourite high-sugar product’s sugar-free alternatives for a wide range of
results. Try them and see if you enjoy the taste. With sugar, it’s best to slowly
and gradually reduce your intake. The more you reduce it, the lower the
cravings.
Alternatively, you can replace the item with a fruit which still provides
sugar. But because of the fiber content, there will be a lower insulin spike,
dulling the dopamine response. Hence your hunger signals will be more
controllable. On a personal level, I sometimes mix things up—one day sugar,
one day no sugar. Like a reward system. In that way, the less sugar I have,
the lower my cravings become. I then spread them out to one day sugar, two
days no sugar. As I get more and more comfortable with the change, I move
to having sugar only on special occasions, a weekend, or a monthly date
night. With sugar intake, the more changes I make the more my cravings
drop. The important thing to remember: take things slow to keep the pain of
sugar cravings low.
Tool #2
If you find yourself eating lots on the weekend or a certain day, well over
your calorie intake, (because you’re tracking) plan ahead for these days.
Either drop your calorie intake for a few days beforehand or a few days
afterwards—or ideally, both. That way, you can still enjoy your weekends,
and not feel guilty for overeating on those days.
Alternatively, you’ll generally find that you’re either having big
breakfasts or lunches or dinners. Choose one of the meals on those particular
days, and replace it with something low-calorie instead. You’ll fully enjoy
the meal to come, knowing that it will be large, and you’ll be hungrier when
it arrives, thus increasing the pleasure but still lowering the calories for the
day.
This is another one of my favorite tools. For example, if I knew that I had
a dinner coming up tomorrow, I would purposely eat limited calories the day
before and on the morning and lunch of the dinner itself. By the time the
dinner came I was hungry, salivating, and the food tasted three times as good.
As a result, I didn’t feel guilty about the dinner because I created a deficit
over the past two days to account for the calories I was going to have. And
the added bonus was that my special occasion dinner got to be that much
better because my natural hunger signals were through the roof!
Tool #3
If you find yourself always having conscious calories, that you enjoy your
intake but don’t know how to reduce or drop your calorie count, I would
suggest the following. Allocate one or two days a week, days with no special
engagements for you, and make them low-calorie days, something like—
1,200-1,300 for men or 800-900 for women, or lower if you feel comfortable.
That way, you create a large deficit for those days and the other days can
remain untouched. Therefore, you’ll still end up in a deficit for the end of the
week. I would suggest this to everyone. As low-calorie days will make you
hungrier. By having those days, you will have more energy and vitality
anyway, because you regain back hunger and your natural taste and smell for
food.
Personally, I use this tool on weeks when I have several dinners arranged.
I know that there will be many treats/snacks or what have you during this
period. Therefore, I’ll set aside two days where I have no engagements as my
low-calorie days. These weeks don’t always necessarily end up in a deficit
for me. But at least I’ll definitely balance out by the end of the week. A
balanced week—where I don’t lose or gain anything—is still a massive win.
In trying to lose your spare tank comes natural pain, a pain of hunger. Often
you don’t want a week blighted with those little hunger pains. Therefore, you
can have a balanced week or two, on the road to your goals. Remember,
balancing out your intake for the week is one of the best things you can learn
to do for yourself. It means that any weight you do lose you’ll be able to keep
off. It means you’re always moving closer to your ideal you, and not yoyoing
back and forth, and experiencing the shame spiral in your mind.
Tool #4
If you find yourself overeating on a daily basis and don’t know how to
introduce your changes, I would suggest you start skipping your least favorite
meal for the day, i.e. breakfast/lunch/dinner. Or replacing it with a low-
calorie alternative, just to tide you over. That way, you can easily introduce a
habit which reduces your daily intake. For example, if you always have a 600
calorie breakfast, change to 100 calories, or vice versa. Remember to choose
your least favorite meal; the one you don’t have any emotional connection
with in order to keep the pain low.
For me, this tool was quite important, especially at the start of my journey
to self-control. For I experienced a lot of resistance in making changes.
Through my tracking, I analyzed my days, I knew the dinners I loved and that
there was no way I was going to cut them out, and the lunches that kind of
made my work day more enjoyable. The least painful change for me to make
was to my breakfasts. At the time, my breakfast consisted of an egg and
bacon sandwich with cheese and a coffee with milk. Because I was tracking, I
found out that my breakfast contained 600 calories. So I removed the milk
from the coffee and changed the sandwich for a banana. I was still able to
have lasting energy, and cutting out milk only took a couple of days to get
used to. That’s how I saved 500 calories from my mornings. That equates to
more than half a kilo a week, close to 24kg over the year. Remember, what
may seem like a small change at the start, can make a massive impact over
the long-term.
Tool #5
For those that feel that change is almost impossible, or don’t know where
to start, leave two days a week as specifically low-fat days. Aim for under 20
grams of fat for an entire day. I suggest this because it will have no impact on
your taste-buds, but, depending on your intake, can reduce your calories, thus
creating quite a large deficit. If you reduced your fat from 100 grams to 20,
you’d be saving 80 grams. In a week that would equate to a saving of 1,500
calories. May not sound much, but that’s close to 200 grams of fat, nearly a
kilo a month. Just in those two days alone!
What I’m trying to explain here, is that no matter where you are on your
journey, there are many change options open to you. They don’t need to be
big to have a large impact. Any small change that becomes part of your
routine, a part of your daily or weekly habits can make a massive, lasting
change over a long time period.
Tool #6
If you’re finding yourself not feeling full a lot of the time, increase your
protein intake. It’s an easy way to keep your stomach feeling full as protein
takes a while to process (as discussed in a previous chapter). Increasing that
over the course of the day may make a big difference. When I had a high
sugar and carbohydrate diet, I found myself eating and then literally being
hungry again within an hour. Even though I was ingesting a lot of calories.
To counter this, I found foods that contained at least 20-30 grams of protein
with every meal. This allowed me to stay full for much longer, and also
gradually and naturally reduced my overall intake because I wasn’t feeling
empty or hungry as much.
Tool #7
This is actually one of my favorites, because I always had a problem with
big meals. When I tried to lose weight all my alternative meals were
invariably small. To help with this, I had a bowl of green vegetables with my
food—green leaves, and if you haven’t tracked them already, you’ll find that
they pretty much have no calories in them. A whole bowl of say, spinach, a
half a kilo, would add hardly any calories but would take up a lot of volume
in my stomach. For me, this was a great tool. Hopefully, it could be useful for
you, too—if you’re okay with green vegetables and have a problem with
craving large meals. It’s a good way to increase the size of your meal without
increasing the calorie intake that much. In fact, you’ll find there are other
vegetables as well, that add minimal calories but provide a large volume of
food.
When I used to work in an office, people would laugh at me, because I
would eat my lunches out of a massive salad bowl. They would always look
at me and say, how can you eat so much? But my lunch only contained half a
bag of spinach—which only equated to 10-20 calories—a can of tuna and
some other bits and pieces. So even though it looked like a massive lunch—
and volume-wise it definitely filled me up—it only contained 200-300
calories. Whereas my co-workers would have a burger and a drink (which
looked tiny compared to my meal) that would be well over 900 calories.
This tool worked wonders for me when I really struggled with reducing
my overall “volume” of food. Another very useful tool.
Like I said, there are countless diets, tools, tricks and theories out there—
we could literally go on forever. To a certain degree, they can all be effective.
But the important thing is results, the weight-loss LAW—in versus In out—if
you eat less than you expend you will lose weight. But when you find a tool
that you like and that works for you by reducing your intake, while causing
minimal pain—keep it in your arsenal. From here on out, you should look at
things from this perspective: if I try out that regime or that tool, will it cause
minimal pain to my changes? If the answer is yes, try it out. If you think it’s
too much pain, then don’t. Because it probably won’t work and will swing
the equation out of whack.
Striking the Essential Balance
What you have just learnt will help you achieve all your weight-loss
goals. For you have now fully levelled up your knowledge and acquired both
technical and practical know-how towards controlling your weight for the
rest of your life. You understand both sides of the equation. You know that
for any lasting change to occur the pain of change must outweigh the change
of staying the same. You’ve played the little movie trailer out in your head.
You’ve looked into the future and know that now is the time to make lasting
change in your life.
You now know how to track and monitor your intake. You are now
recording your calories. You have control. With confidence, you can now
pick up an item in the supermarket, read the nutritional label, and understand
exactly what you’re putting into your body.
In practical terms, you know what to look out for if you experience any
small setbacks along the way. You know all about water retention, and how it
can mess with both the numbers on the scales and how you perceive your
own progress.
Most importantly, you are now far more aware of how your body works,
functions. You know that weight-loss really is a case of in versus out. You
know that exercise, whilst a positive factor in anyone’s life, won’t solve all
your weight-loss problems.
Take-Home-Points