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Jade LaMont

Ms. McKay

AP Language and Composition

December 9, 2022

Masculinity in the Media

When you turn on Netflix, or any other streaming service for that matter, the first thing

that is likely to come up is a show with a good looking man. The plot of the show probably goes

something like this: a good-looking man is alone, then all of a sudden he goes to a club or out in

public, and every girl that sees him is instantly in love with him. He hops around between the

women he is attracted to, then chooses one. The relationship between them can then go one of

two ways: they will either have a smooth sailing relationship, or he may turn controlling and

aggressive, and the relationship fails. In the media—whether it be television, movies, social

media, graphic novels, or video games—men are portrayed as internally and externally

controlling, being aggressive or violent, and they always have desirable physical features. These

are seen all the time in the media, and it is what society expects out of men.

To begin, most of the men you see in the media are seen as controlling, whether it be

internal or external. An example of internal control is when men suppress the emotions that make

them seem weak, or unflattering. Some of these might be pain or sadness. In an article written by

Roberto A. Ferdman called “The Perils of Being Manly”, a psychologist from Rutgers

University, Diana Sanchez, states, “Everyone has a story about how a male friend or family

member has been reluctant to go to the doctor… but it’s more than that—it’s also what happens

when they actually go to the doctor.” The example that followed was when men are asked to rate

their pain on a pain scale. A male patient had injured his ankle, and the doctor asked him to rate
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the pain from 1 to 10. He said a 5, but the pain had to be much worse than that. The doctor took

some x-rays, and it turned out that he had a fractured ankle, and the pain had to be at least an 8 or

9. The media influences men not to show pain or sadness because it makes them seem weak.

This may be a reason that the patient said it was a 5, rather than the truthful 8. A great example

of this is superhero movies, or movies with men as the main character. In the Avengers, you

would never see an Avenger cry or show an unflattering emotion. This is because the media has

pushed young boys and men to be tougher, and pushed them to believe the “weaker” emotions

are reserved for the girls to express. Internal control has been greatly influenced by the media,

but so is external control.

External control in the media is quite common in the media, but not surpassing internal

control. Some examples of notable external control are Blair and Chuck’s relationship in Gossip

Girl. Whenever Blair tries to move on after Chuck lets her down, he sabotages every relationship

she tries to form. One extremely controlling behavior that Chuck has is telling Blair that “he

can’t imagine a life without her,” or he “can’t stand the thought” of Blair being with anyone that

isn’t him. Lisa Aaron Fontes, a psychology researcher at the University of Massachusetts

Amherst, wrote, "In an abusive or controlling relationship, over time the dominating partner

changes how the victim thinks…the abuser defines what love is. The abuser defines what is

appropriate in terms of monitoring the partner. The abuser defines what is wrong with the victim,

and what she needs to do to change it." Something that isn’t in the media as much, but is still

quite prominent, is men expecting women to do stereotypical things such as not leaving the

house, cooking all the time, and cleaning all the time. When men in the media have little to no

respect for women, society will expect men to act that way, and they will either approve of it or

try to change it.

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Another thing that we see out of men in the media is aggression or violence. They show

their aggression in physical, direct ways. They are more violent because they want to have

reproductive success, and tend to be more violent towards men. However, it is still a possibility

that they will show aggression to women. Male aggression is seen more in the news than in TV

shows and movies. Men coerce women into sexual relationships, and in a violent way. When

they are violent, we see that it usually ends in the men being believed more than the women.

Most people usually claim that women provoked the violence. In addition, since men are usually

more favored, the victims of their aggression usually feel as though they cannot speak up about

the things they have experienced. David Challen, a domestic abuse campaigner, says that when

reports of domestic violence and sexually motivated attacks are released, he fears that it will be

sensationalized. “These reports can have an incredibly damaging and traumatic impact on those

the story relates to and can lead to victims not wanting to come forward, for fear of what will

happen and how it would be publicly played out in the media,” he says. When men act violently

or aggressively, today’s society does not tolerate that, unless you are a misogynist. People do not

even like to see this in the media because, as previously mentioned, it can influence men to act

this way in reality. Today, lots of people are quite naive. They will see something in the media,

then accept it. This is especially true for the way someone looks.

Lastly, men in the media are portrayed as good-looking, so that is what society expects of

men. They are usually good-looking, in that they are quite fit. The Marlboro Man is a notable

“good-looking man.” He is sexy and rugged; men want to be him and women want him. He was

created to transform Marlboro cigarettes from “mild as may” to something with a more rugged

look that appealed to men. In 1955, Marlboro sales were at $5 billion. By 1957, the sales of

Marlboro cigarettes were at $20 billion despite the fact that cigarettes were a growing health
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concern (and still are). Recurring characters who are the “ideal man” in movie or television

series usually have the most desirable features. They are fit, they have a chiseled jawline, and the

most perfect hair. Going back to the Avengers, all of them are quite fit, and good looking.

Another good-looking character is Rafael Solano from Jane the Virgin. He barely ever has a shirt

on, and he has a desirable physique. Women and younger men fall for these characters, and can

never see any person that doesn’t look like that character as socially acceptable.

While the majority of the people you see in the media are portrayed as controlling,

aggressive, and good-looking, there are some characters who are not portrayed as such. Some

examples of these characters would be Ross Geller from Friends and Gru from the Despicable

Me series. Ross is not very good-looking, but he also is not really aggressive. He is internally

controlling, in that he won’t express his real feelings unless it is to Joey or Chandler, his best

friends. Gru also is not very good-looking. He was aggressive at first, but turned out to be very

loving. When he adopted Edith, Agnes, and Margo, he grew a soft spot for not just them, but

people in general. While these characters certainly aren’t the only nice or not good-looking

characters, they are some of the most recognizable.

Masculinity in the media can be represented both negatively and positively. Negatively,

we see masculinity shown as being aggressive and violent towards many people. Men are also

both internally and externally controlling. Society is completely against any act of aggression. It

is just not condonable. As for control, society loves to see men being strong, so men are more

likely to keep their emotions inside, rather than express them. The thing with control that makes

it not okay is when it is done to other people. Positively (but still in a harmful way), most men

we see in the media are good-looking. Women and boys of all ages like to see good-looking men,

mostly because it gives boys an inspiration to look like the person they are seeing, and for
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women it gives them something to want. This is harmful because society now expects men to

look a certain way, and it just is something they will hurt themselves for, mentally and

physically. The way that masculinity is presented to society via the media gives them lots of

different concepts of masculinity to have opinions on.

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Works Cited

Ferdman, Roberto A. “The Perils of Being Manly” The Washington Post, 28 March, 2016,

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/28/what-happens-when-a-manl

y-man-has-to-go-to-the-doctor/.

Holloway, Kali. “Toxic Masculinity is Killing Men: The Roots of Male Trauma” Salon, 12 June,

2015,

https://www.salon.com/2015/06/12/toxic_masculinity_is_killing_men_the_roots_of_male

_trauma_partner/.

McCombe, Leonard. Marlboro Man. Life, 1949.

Miniter, Frank. “The Hard, Adrenaline-Soaked Truth About ‘Toxic Masculinity’” Forbes, 18

January, 2017,

https://www.forbes.com/sites/frankminiter/2017/01/18/the-hard-adrenaline-soaked-truth-a

bout-toxic-masculinity/?sh=45a6f4342be5.

Reiner, Andrew. “Talking to Boys the Way We Talk to Girls” The New York Times, 15 June,

2017,

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/15/well/family/talking-to-boys-the-way-we-talk-to-gir

ls.html.