SMALL TALK

“Big relationships are built on small talk.”

According to David Burkus, an author of “Friend of a Friend: Understanding the Hidden Networks That
Can Transform Your Life and Your Career” emphasizes that small talk is more than just a typical act of
politeness.

Why it’s not just a typical act of politeness? Because in small talk, The participant shows politeness in
na way na naglalaan sila ng oras para kilalanin ang iba’t ibang tao, makinig at mag respond sa
kanilang sasabihin. Dito papasok yung willingness natin na maglaan ng oras, makipag
communicate, makisama at makisalamuha ng ibang tao kilala man natin ng o hindi.

In fact, it’s crucial for your success in different spheres of life. And if you hate small talk and do your best
to avoid it, you are just cutting yourself off from lots of meaningful social interactions.

Sa katunayan, napakahalaga po nito para sa success natin iba’t ibang larangan ng buhay. Why? dahil
using this type of easy conversation forces you or makakatulong sa’yo to build connections with people
on a deeper level, giving you the chance to make a positive impact in someone's life. And if ayaw mo sa
mga ganitong klase ng conversation or social interaction, for instance yun mga introvert na tao na ayaw
makipaghalubilo o makisalamuha sa iba’tibang tao, kung baga pag inilalayo mo ang iyong sarili sa mga
ganitong bagay inilalayo mo lang din ang iyong sarili sa mas makabuluhang pakikipag ugnayan sa
lipunan.

Small talk is not a small thing. It’s like a gateway to the conversation. No matter whom you interact with,
friends or colleagues, even office small talk should be light and informal. Generally, it’s a brief
conversation between you and someone you don’t know very well. You can frequently encounter it at
different social events especially in the workplace.

Small talk is a serious matter although yung iba sinasabe na hindi naman ito gaano ka importante kasi
mostly ang topic sa ganitong usapan are all about unimportant things, but if we think in a deeper level
makikita natin ang importance nito dahil small talks acts as a starting point para magkaroon ng
conversation. Whether you’re talking to friends or coworkers, dapat ang conversation should always be
informal and light. Typically, ito ay isang maikling pag-uusap between you at ng isang taong hindi mo
masyadong kilala and it is usually present at various social gatherings, particularly sa trabaho.

Tips in Making Small Talk

Show A Genuine Interest

If you want to polish your conversational skills and find out how to make small talk effective, you have to
dismiss any prejudice that this type of conversation is meaningless. Every new person you converse
within your life represents a new unique opportunity to develop and grow. Perhaps, you can even
become friends in the future. Maybe they will become your customers or you will learn something
helpful from them. So, rather than beginning a new conversation with anxiety, enter it with excitement.

One of the most important Tips in Making Small Talk is to Show a Genuine Interest, when we say
genuine “tunay” tunay dapat yung interest mo sa conversation, hindi yung mema lang or pakitang tao
lang. And to achieve this genuine interest, you have to avoid any prejudice or ang pagiging bias or ang
discrimination because every new person na makikila or makakausap mo is an opportunity to develop
and grow kasi maarai kang matuto sa kanila at sa mga kwento ng buhay nila. Who knows diba, baka
yung saglit mo lang nakausap will become your best friend one day or can be your customer din if you
have a business naman. So sa halip na umiwas tayo or matakot sa mga ganitong klase ng
communication, gawin natin ‘to ng may excitement and pleasure.

Ask Open-ended Questions

According to Alan Garner, an author of “Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your
Personal and Social Effectiveness,” the best way to make great small talk is to follow up simple questions
with open-ended ones. Since, simple questions are generally followed by a one-word answer, open-
ended small talk questions build up an exciting and dynamic conversation encouraging the person you’re
speaking with to open up.

Ayon kay Garner, asking an open-ended questions pagkatapos mo mag tanong ng isang simple question
is the easiest method to start a great conversation during small talk. Why? Dahil an open-ended small
talk questions can create an interesting and dynamic conversation na makakahikayat sa taong kausap
mo para mag open up sa’yo about the topic you’re talking about.

For examples :

“Where are you from?” followed by “What is your hometown like? What do you like the most about it?”

“What do you do?” followed by “Why did you choose that type of work? How did you enter that
profession?”

Never Talk About Something Too Personal

When you begin a conversation, you know almost nothing about the person. That’s why an author,
speaker, and blogger Gretchen Rubin suggests choosing topics common to both speakers.

Ayon kay Rubin, the Forbidden Topics are : …..

Bakit nga ba iniiwasan o ipinagbabawal ang topic na ito during small talk? Is that because masyado
seryoso ang mga bagay na ito. Kung mapapansin natin, kapag ito ang topic during a conversation,
madalas nag kakaroon ng debate dahil may kaniya kaniya tayong views or opinion about sa mga
ganitong bagay and most of the time nag ca-cause pa ito ng misunderstanding and conflict. Okay sana if
yung taong makakausap mo is same kayo ng health, religion or political views but if you know almost
nothing about the person, it’s hard to start a conversation na ito ang topic.

Forbidden Topics

 Health
 Religion
 political views

If there are forbidden topics, there are Best Topics also which are : ……

Why they are considered as the Best Topics? Because these topics allow you to keep the conversation
positive and you can learn more about them in this kind of topic. Hindi naman siguro mag ca-cause ng
intense sa conversation ang mga ganitong topic dahil hindi naman ito gaanong kaseryosong topic and all
participants in a conversation can share knowledge about the topics. Kung baga sa mga topics na ito,
most people can relate.

Best Subjects

 Weather
 Sports
 Shows and movies
 Art
 Your location or venue
 Food or cooking
 Hobbies
 Professional interests and responsibilities

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a way of communication that involves consciously going into what another person is
saying. Of course, all of us tune out from time to time. But if you pay attention to the speaker’s words,
you’ll create much stronger connections. No doubt, the other person will surely notice how engaged you
are.

Here are a few simple steps to help you become a better active listener during small talk at work or any
other place:

 Try to make eye contact for about 60% of the time that you are listening to the other person.
Besides, you can nod your head occasionally to show your interest.
 Never interrupt or prepare your reply while your companion is speaking.
 Don’t offer unrequested advice, suggestions or solutions.
 As you listen, keep an open mind as well as withhold your judgment and stereotypes.
 Be patient while listening, keep yourself fully present and relaxed.
  Ask questions during pauses to clarify what is said.

Put Away Your Phone

How to do small talk in the best way? Make the person feel important! In fact, there’s nothing more
irritating than speaking with someone who is regularly checking their phone.

Generally, people pull out their cells when they’re feeling awkward in social situations. On the other
hand, there is nothing that will roll back all your conversational efforts more quickly than scrolling
through your phone during small talk.

Look For Opportunities To Converse

Keep in mind that the more frequently you conduct a conversation with someone you barely know, the
more comfortable you’ll become. To overcome your fear of small talk, practice in an unfamiliar
environment. Visit a networking event for another industry or ask your friends to bring you along to
their work events.