Flap A Wing Life Skills Module

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FLAP A
WING
A L I F E S K I L L S T R A I NING M O D U L E F O R T E E N A G E R S 1 5 - 1 8
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FLAP A
World Vision Development Foundation, Inc. (WVDF)
389 Quezon Avenue cor. West 6th St.,

West Triangle, Quezon City
Tel: (632) 374 76 18
Email: wvphilippines@wvi.org
Web: www.worldvision.org.ph
WING
A L I F E S K I L L S T R A IN I N G M O D U L E FO R T E E NAG E R S 1 5 - 1 8
© Copyright 2015
By WVDF Education and Child Protection

Technical Programme
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about flap a wing
developmental assets are at critical and high behavior; increased ability to plan ahead and to
IN LATE 1900S, scientist Edward Lorenz will help them be empowered and
risks: choose effective solutions; increased acquisition
introduced the concept of butterfly effect. His realize their own potential;
a) positive identity which includes of knowledge; gains in handling of interpersonal
studies showed that the flap of a butterfly’s personal power, self-esteem, sense of problems; and improved constructive conflict
wings created tiny changes in the atmosphere • to inculcate a sense of responsibility
purpose, and positive view of personal resolution with peers.
that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado to the youth, who will form part the
future;
or delay, accelerate or even prevent the nation’s future workforce;
WORLD VISION AND FLAP A WING BELIEVE
occurrence of a tornado in another location. b) positive values which include caring, THAT yOUTH HAS THE ABILITy TO MAKE A
After then, the term ‘butterfly effect’ has finally • to prepare them for greater
opportunities in the new millennium;
equality and social justice, integrity, DIFFERENCE IN AND INFLUENCE THE WORLD
been associated to the idea that a change in honesty, responsibility, and restraint; IF THEy ARE GIVEN THE RIGHT AMOUNT
occurrence, no matter how small, may affect OF POSITIVE OPPORTUNITIES THAT WILL
the course of the universe forever. This is • to recognize and appreciate
opportunities that may come in the
c) empowerment which includes ENABLE THEM TO FLAP THEIR WINGS. AND
the same result World Vision wants to see in
form of challenges;
community values youth, youth as By THAT SINGLE FLAP—By CHANGING ONE
young people as they learn necessary life skills resources, service to others, and safety; THING, THEy CAN CHANGE EVERyTHING.
and achieve a positive change in behavior, no
matter how small, that may eventually lead to • to engage them in positive
d) social competencies which include
bigger changes in their families, communities, communication with their peers,
planning and decision-making,
and in the larger society. and the experience of collaboration with
interpersonal competence, cultural
others, enabling them to see the value
competence, resistance skill, and peaceful
This module is designed to be used by World of solidarity and cooperation; and
conflict resolution;
Vision Development Foundation (WVDF)
volunteers and their counterparts who work with • to address the current situation of
e) constructive use of time which includes
youth nationwide to develop their knowledge, youth’s developmental assets profile
creative activities, youth projects, religious
skills, and attitudes. By ensuring direct (DAP) nationwide.
community, time at home.
interventions to the youth, and capacitating
parents and the community to help the youth In 2013, the Education and Child Protection
Thus, the structure of every session in this Flap
demonstrate life skills in relevant venues, this Technical Programme conducted a study
A Wing module has a behavior development
Flap A Wing module, aims: to determine the DAP of youth aged 12-
approach and is focused on addressing the
18 in Visayas, Mindanao, and WVDF ADPs.
above mentioned developmental assets.
• to increase the overall wellbeing Developmental assets are the building blocks of
of youth aged 15-18 living in WVDF a healthy development that help young people
By the end of the training, it is expected that the
Area Development Programs (ADPs); grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. There
target youth will show improved self-image, self-
are at least 40 identified developmental assets
awareness, social and emotional adjustment;
• to develop the life skills of youth that divided into eight categories. The results of the
increased pro-social behavior; lessened violent
DAP study show that five areas of the youth’s
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table of contents
LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME
Introduction to How do Life How can Life

02 Life Skills 07 Skills work? 19 Skills help me?
POSITIVE IDENTITY OF SELF
I am wonderfully
29 Who am I?
37 made 41 I am valued
45 59 positive values
I choose
I am a leader
A PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE
Building Making Thinking

69 inner peace 81 decisions 89 creative ideas
Solving Setting Taking

97 problems 105 goals 119 action steps
Managing
02 time
FROM THOUGHTS TO WORDS

Active Conflict
135 listening 141 Positive
communication 149 resolution
Learning to Public
153 say ‘no’ 165 speaking
POSITIVE IDENTITY OF SELF
Breaking gender
175 Home as the
starting point 181 Valuing
friendships 185 stereotypes
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Celebrating the Global

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191 differently abled 195 interdependence
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sectionONE
life skills: what’s in it for me?
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A1 INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS
LIFE skILLs are abilities for adaptive and positive behavior that enable people
to deal with the demands and challenges of everyday living.These are effective tools that
may empower us to act, take initiative, and take control of our lives. All of us possess
different sets of life skills, but only few are aware of how and when to use them. Just as
like skilled people are capable of doing something well, everyone can also succeed by
enhancing and utilizing his life skills. Effective acquisition of life skills can influence the way
we feel about ourselves and can provide tools to improve interpersonal relations. Life skills
put us in a better position to translate our dreams and values into constructive actions.
OBJECTIVES
By the end of the session, the students will be able to:
• Differentiate between skills and life skills.
• Learn the importance of using life skills.
LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, creative thinking, effective communication, self-awareness
DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
youth as resources, positive view of personal future
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Types of Skills
• Flip Chart 2: Definition of Life Skills
• Trainer Material 1: Different Professions
• Cardboard box
DURATION
90 minutes
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INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS FLAP A WING | PAGE 2 PAGE 3 | FLAP A WING INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS

8. Remind the students that the Flap A Wing programme depends on learning these life skills very well and
applying them in their day-to-day situations.
25 MINS 1. Inform the students about Flap-A-Wing, an interactive programme where they will learn various life skills that 9. Ask the students to give examples of a few other skills which are not basically meant to earn livelihood
will help them deal with their life situations and improve their futures.
but still are important for a good life. Tell them that we use life skills everyday for tasks such as deciding,
2. Introduce them to the parts of daily sessions, which are Engage, Learn, Apply, and Reflect. Tell them that from solving problems, managing differences, minimizing stress, and sometimes we use them in various combina-
today, they are going to start working in an important area that will help them throughout their life. tions.
3. Start the activity by sharing these three tips for strong communication: 10. Put up the definition of Flip Chart 2: Definition of Life Skills on display. Ask the class to read it twice.
• Go somewhere you can have a private conversation.
• Respect what your partner has to tell you. Ask lots of questions and try to listen more than you speak. 11. Ask if there are any questions. Gently and patiently clear any misconceptions and doubts.
• Make strong eye contact with your partner. Nod your head, smile and show your partner you really care about what he/she
has to say.
4. Next, get the students to pair up with someone they haven’t known before or have little knowledge of. Ask
them to interview each other for five minutes each, keeping the three tips you just mentioned. Suggest questions
(aside from asking the name) such as: 20 MINS 1. Now ask the students the following:
• What are the basic differences between “skills” and “life skills”?
• Where did you grow up?
• What type of career do you want? • During our first activity, you were introduced by the type of career you want for the future. What do you think are the
• What is one thing that nobody else in the group knows about you? life skills you need to acquire or to improve to achieve that career?
• What do you want to learn from the Flap A Wing programme?
5. After 10 minutes, bring the group back together.
6. Ask the students to introduce their partner to the group and share what they learned about their partners.
15 MINS 1. Ask the students to list out things they will benefit from learning life skills on their notebooks, with the
heading “How Learning about Life Skills Will Help Me!”
30 MINS 1. Start the next activity by calling 10 volunteers.

2. Ask each of the 10 volunteers to pick up a strip of paper from the box (Refer to Trainer Material 1: Different
Professions). Ask them to enact the role of the person mentioned in the paper.
3. Ask the class:

• What are they doing?
• What role are they performing?
Note: There is no limit on the tasks of each profession; e.g. reading, painting, writing.
4. When the class have guessed what each person is doing, encourage the volunteers to make a list on the board.
Note: You can modify the list—only keep in mind that the four categories should be represented in the list, namely literacy skills,
livelihood skills, professional skills, and functional skills).
5. Display the Flip Chart 1: Types of Skills, prepared beforehand.
6. Now ask the volunteers to sort out the previously mentioned tasks and place them under the correct column.
Ask the class to suggest more examples of skills in each heading.
7. Ask the class: Why are some people better at their work than others? After hearing their responses, say:
People who are good at their task are called skilled or experts. To be skillful means to be capable and to adapt at doing some
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thing well. Just as the way these people succeed because they are skilled, all of us can succeed in life by consciously using
life skills. We all can lead happier, healthier and successful lives by using our own life skills.
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INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS FLAP A WING | PAGE 4 PAGE 5 | FLAP A WING INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS
FLIP CHART 1: TyPES OF SKILLS FLIP CHART 2: DEFINITION OF LIFE SKILLS
LITERARY
SKILLS
include reading, writing, and arithmetic
LIFE SKILLS
ARE ABILITIES FOR ADAPTIVE AND
FUNCTIONAL
SKILLS
include work that helps in general functions and does not
require any training POSITIVE BEHAVIOR THAT ENABLE
INDIVIDUALS TO DEAL EFFECTIVELY
LIVELIHOOD
SKILLS
include work that is done in order to earn a living wITH THE DEMANDS AND CHALLENgES
OF EVERYDAY LIFE.
- World Health Organization -
PROFESSIONAL include skills that is acquired by undergoing training in a
specific field
SKILLS
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INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS FLAP A WING | PAGE 6
A2 HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK?

TRAINER MATERIAL 1: DIFFERENT PROFESSIONS
Cut the following words, fold them into strips, and place them in a cardboard box. Let the volunteers pick from these professions
WE gEnErALLy know a great deal about some skills and techniques that
the roles they would enact for the first activity. help us get through life.This knowledge, however, is seldom put into practice—it’s either
we do not know how to use the information we have or we do not get the chance to
actually apply them. It is the same reason why today’s youth needs to participate in a
learning program geared to transforming knowledge into positive behavior. The Bridge
Model is a visual way of presenting this concept of behavior change that is used in a life
PAINTER ENgINEER skills program such as Flap AWing. It is important to note that Flap AWing aims not only
to provide information but to develop life skills to better use this information in leading
a positive and healthy life.
DRIVER POLICE OFFICER

OBJECTIVES
• Know the importance of acquiring and improving life skills.
• Understand the Bridge Model of behavior change.
• Identify life skills that might help young people to avoid risk and build a positive future.
PROFESSOR FARMER
LIFE SKILLS
creative thinking, critical thinking, self-awareness
responsibility, self-esteem, sense of purpose
CARPENTER DOCTOR
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Bridge Model
• Handout 1: Lucy’s Story
DURATION
SINgER LIBRARIAN 90 minutes
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HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK FLAP A WING | PAGE 8 PAGE 9 | FLAP A WING HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK

20 MINS 1. Ask two volunteer to act in the role play. Give each volunteer a copy of Handout 1: Lucy’s Story. 15 MINS 1. Cover some of the planks with your hands. Ask the class what will happen if a few skills are missing.
2. After the role play, ask the class: 2. Finally, say that it is therefore necessary to launch a comprehensive program that targets all of these
• Is this a realistic situation? Have you seen this happen in our community? issues to better equip them to make healthy decisions for their futures.
• Do you think Lucy understood the risks of having sex with Richard?
• If she understood what could happen and had all of the information, why did she have sex anyway?
• What were some of the things Richard said to pressure Lucy?
• Did Lucy have good reasons for not using the condoms Rita gave her?
• What will happen to Lucy now? What do you think will happen between her and Richard?
10 MINS 1. Divide students into small groups. Instruct each group to create a role play showing a typical risk
situation that a young person might face, which they will present next session.
2. Point out that each group does not need to resolve the situation during the role play; they just need to
enact what happens when a young person faces conflict.
45 MINS 1. DisplayAsFlip Chart 1: Bridge Model and discuss it in relation with the role play. Say:
young people, you generally know a great deal about the risks of sexual activity. In a sense, you are standing on top of all
of the knowledge you need to keep yourselves safe from the risky behavior of life.
2. Brainstorm some of the current knowledge the students understand, such as their information on drugs or
alcohol, etc.
3. Emphasize that even though people have the knowledge, it does not mean that they do not engage in risky
behaviors. Continually refer back to Lucy during this discussion.
4. Now draw attention to the other side of the bridge. Point out that, as teachers, community members, parents,
peer educators, and others, you want to help them move to the “positive life” side of the bridge.
5. Ask the students to suggest what is awaiting them if you do not find a way to help them successfully cross
from knowledge to a positive life.
6. Summarize their responses by saying that they will eventually fall into a sea of problems such as alcoholism,
early pregnancy, etc.
7. Lead another brainstorming session about what it takes to get across the bridge. Ask:
• What then is missing?
• What does it take to help people to use their knowledge to lead a better life?
Note: You might continue to refer to the role play during this brainstorming session. Guide the group in exploring all angles of
the situation so that you can get as many different suggestions as possible.
8. Each time someone gives a suggestion, it becomes a “plank” in the bridge. Write it on the chart above the
sea between the two hills. Keep brainstorming until the entire bridge is completed. Guide the group to understand
these links by referring to the role play.
9. When the bridge is finished and all ideas are exhausted, process the concept with the group again. Say:
These planks in the bridge are the life skills—the tools a person needs to help translate the knowledge that they have into
healthier behavior. It is our job to help to develop these life skills in people—to help them acquire the skills and tools
necessary to lead healthier, happier lives.
10. Refer to the definition of life skills that you have discussed during the first day.
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HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK FLAP A WING | PAGE 10 PAGE 11 | FLAP A WING HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK

HANDOUT 1: LUCY’S STORY

Rita was in her final year at secondary school when she dropped out due to unwanted pregnancy. She has been
advising her friend, Lucy, to stay in school and to avoid boyfriends, sex, and so forth, before completing her
education.
Lucy is in her first year at secondary school, and she has been doing very well in her classes. Despite her friend’s
warning, she has become pregnant and has come to break the news to her friend.
Rita is sitting outside her house. As she sits alone with her baby, she talks about how tired she has been and how
much work the baby turned out to be.
Lucy walks up and shouts “Hello, is anybody home?” She is welcomed warmly by Rita. Lucy sits down and greets her
friend. She inquires after the health of the baby, and Rita tells her that the baby has been sick and has yet to sleep
FLIP CHART 1: BRIDGE MODEL
through the night.
The friends chat for a moment before Rita comments on how odd it is to see Lucy like this during a school day. Rita
asks Lucy why she is not in school, but Lucy changes the subject by talking about the baby. Rita asks Lucy again,
and she again avoids the topic by asking Rita about Rita’s boyfriend, James. Rita responds by saying that she has
not heard from James since the birth of their baby. She has heard that he is now studying in the U.K., but he has
never come to see her or the baby. Rita reminisces that she, too, could have gone to the U.K. for studies—her scores
were so high—and she reminds Lucy of how important it is to avoid these boys and stay in school.
Rita asks again why Lucy is here on a school day. Lucy says something like this—“My friend, do you remember the
advice that you are always giving me?” Rita responds—“Of course I do—I told you! Don’t make the same mistakes I
made—forget these boys until you are finished with your studies. Abstaining from sex is the best way to avoid
getting pregnant or getting diseases—even AIDS!”
Lucy probes further. “What else have you advised me?”
Rita says, “I told you that if you and that boyfriend of yours, Richard, cannot abstain, then remember to use a
condom. you remember! I even gave you some condoms! Ah! But come on, my friend, what are you really doing here?
Are you in trouble? What is it?”
Lucy, now in tears, confesses that she is pregnant with Richard’s baby. Rita becomes angry. She reminds Lucy of all
the advice she has given her; she reminds Lucy of the example of her own life.
Lucy protests with ideas like, “But he loves me! He has promised to marry me!” Rita reminds Lucy that James
promised her the same thing. Rita asks why Lucy had sex with Richard after all her warnings. Lucy says that Richard
threatened to leave her if she did not have sex with him. He said it was the only way to show him that she loved him,
that everyone was having sex, etc.
Rita asks why Lucy didn’t use any of the condoms she gave her. Lucy says that her church is against condom use,
and besides—Richard refused to use them.
Finally, in defense of herself, Lucy says, “Well, why wait? Why not have a baby now? Richard is going to be a
doctor. I want to be his wife! What is the difference if I finish school? Look at Marie—she finished school and she is
just staying at home. There are no jobs anyway!”
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A3 HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK? (CONT)

UnICEF, UnEsCO AndWHO list the ten core life skill strategies
and techniques as: problem solving, critical thinking, effective communication skills,
decision-making, creative thinking, interpersonal relationship skills, self-awareness,
empathy, coping with stress, and coping with emotions.These ten core life skills belong
to a specific life skill category among the following: critical thinking skills, emotional
management skills, communication skills, relationship-building skills, and social
responsibility skills. As they are introduced to the idea of life skills, young people must
also have a thorough understanding of the main categories and its core compositions
to effectively use them in different situations.
OBJECTIVES
• Know the five categories of life skills and its core life skills.
• Determine which life skill is appropriate to use in a certain situation.
LIFE SKILLS
creative thinking, critical thinking, self-awareness
responsibility, self-esteem, sense of purpose
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Bridge Model (from Session A2)
• Flip Chart 2: Classifications of Life Skills
• Trainer Material 1: Classifications of Life Skills
DURATION
90 minutes
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HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 14 PAGE 15 | FLAP A WING HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK (CONT)

FLIP CHART 2: CLASSIFICATIONS OF LIFE SKILLS

25 MINS 1. Remind the class of the Bridge Model session during the last meeting.
2. Then, invite each group to perform its role play. Give them five minutes each to present.
3. After the role play, choose two representatives from each group to identify which life skill is missing in the role
play. Display Flip Chart 1: Bridge Model to guide them. LIFE SKILLS
4. Let the group brainstorm about the many life skills that might have helped each young person effectively
manage the situation in the role plays. Use this exercise as a means of exploring the way these life skills could
change a situation in a young person’s life.
1. Put up the Flip Chart 2: Classifications of Life Skills. Refer to Trainer Material 1: Classifications of Life Skills
30 MINS for the complete explanation of the life skills categories. CRITICAL EMOTIONAL COMMU RELATIONSHIP SOCIAL
2. Explain that you have simply grouped the life skills into a few categories to make it easier to work with them.
THINKINg MANAgEMENT NICATION BUILDINg RESPONSIBILITY
Tell the students that the five categories of life skills are broadly divided into 10 core life skills.
Note: The 10 core life skills are usually mentioned in pairs (as shown on Flip Chart 1).
SKILLS SKILLS SKILLS SKILLS SKILLS
3. Go over each category, and ask the group to suggest which of the life skills written on the Bridge Model might
fit into each category. Tell them that all of the life skills are important, and some fit in more than one category.
20 MINS 1. Remind the students of the introduction they did during the first day. Ask them to list the particular life skills
they should acquire or develop to achieve the careers they want in the future. TEN CORE LIFE SKILLS
SELF-AWARENESS EMPATHy
CRITICAL THINKING DECISION CREATIVE THINKING
MAKING INTERPERSONAL PROBLEM SOLVING
1. Read each statement and ask the students what core life skill/s does a person require in dealing with those
10 MINS situations: RELATIONSHIP COPING WITH EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Note: This activity may also be a preparation for the next session, which will talk about the importance of life skills as
STRESS COPING WITH EMOTION
adolescents undergo changes physically, emotionally, or mentally.
• To do well at school
• To get on well with his/her parents.
• To get a job after 18 yrs of age.
• To deal with a demand to have sex when he/she is reluctant.
• To deal with loss and separation (e.g. separation from a friend, death of a relative.
• To deal with a suggestion to cut classes.
• To help a person who is suffering from some chronic illness.
• To maintain friendship with a person who has recently had a sad incidence in his/her life.
• To help a classmate who is getting less marks despite working hard.
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PAGE 17 | FLAP A WING HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK (CONT)

HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 16
TRAINER MATERIAL 1: CLASSIFICATIONS OF LIFE SKILLS decision making and managing emotions and stress. Significant problems that are left unattended can
cause mental stress and physical strain.
CREATIVE THINKING * CRITICAL THINKING II. EMOTIONAL SKILLS

CRITICAL THINKINg SKILLS DECISION MAKING * PROBLEM SOLVING SELF AWARENESS
Self-awareness includes recognition of ‘self’, our character, our strengths and weaknesses, desires
and dislikes.�(e.g: I like myself even though I am imperfect)
COPING WITH EMOTION * COPING
EMOTIONAL MANAgEMENT SKILLS WITH STRESS * SELF-AWARENESS COPING WITH STRESS
Coping with stress includes recognising the sources of stress in our lives, recognising how this affects us,
and acting in ways that help to control our levels of stress by changing our environment or lifestyle and
learning how to relax. One way to cope with stress is learning how to relax so that tensions created by
COMMUNICATION SKILLS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION unavoidable stresses do not give rise to health problems.
COPING WITH EMOTIONS

Coping with emotions involves recognizing emotions within us and others, being aware of how emotions
RELATIONSHIP-BUILDINg SKILLS INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP influence behaviour, and being able to respond to emotions appropriately. Intense emotions like anger or
sadness can have negative effects on our health if we do not respond appropriately.
III. COMMUNICATION SKILLS

RELATIONSHIP-BUILDINg SKILLS EMPATHy
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
All of us communicate, but it may not always be effective. Effective communication is the ability to
express, both verbally and non-verbally, in ways that are culturally acceptable. Listening is an important
I. CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS component of effective communication. Non verbal communication may sometimes be as effective as
verbal communication.
CREATIVE THINKING
Creative thinking enables us to explore the available alternatives and various consequences of our actions or III. RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS
non-action. It helps us to look beyond our direct experience and to respond adaptively and with flexibility to
situations in our daily lives, even if no problem is identified, or no decision is to be made. Creative thinking is INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
a novel way of seeking of doing things that is characteristic of four components: Interpersonal relationship skill helps us relate with people in a positive way and maintain friendly
• Fluency relationships, which can be of great importance to our mental and social well being. It may also mean
• Flexibility being able to end relationships constructively. There is always some relationship between people (e.g.
• Originality families, friends, workmates, neighbours.) and all relationships need to be developed over a period of time
• Elaboration and require constant nurturing.
CRITICAL THINKING III. SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITy SKILLS

Critical thinking is the ability to analyze information and experiences in an objective manner. It can help us
recognize and assess the factors that influence attitudes and behaviour, such as media and peer pressure. EMPATHy
Critical thinking is important for any of our crucial life decisions. (e.g: What options do I have? What can Empathy is an extremely important but less used life skill. Empathy helps us to feel for the other person
each option lend to? Is this really what I want?) and the ability to be sensitive to another person’s situation, as in the case of AIDS sufferers, or people
with mental illnesses, who may be stigmatized and ostracized by the very people they depend upon for
DECISION MAKING support.�
Decision-making helps to deal constructively with decisions about our lives. These can have consequences
for health if adolescents actively make decisions by assessing the different options and the effects that
different options and different decisions may have.
PROBLEM SOLVING
Problem solving enables us to deal constructively with problems that arise in our lives. Problem solving skills
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empower us not only to control our problems, but to turn them to opportunities. Problem solving also leads to
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A4 HOW CAN LIFE SKILLS HELP ME?
AdOLEsCEnCE is the transition from childhood into adulthood, during

which the child explores new ideas, widens his horizons, and finally assumes greater
responsibility and individual identity. At first, young people may not be aware of all the
complex changes going on inside themselves. during this time, their body changes and
the way they spend their time can change, too.They might even be seriously thinking
about how they want their life to be when they are grown up. As much as the physical,
mental, emotional, and social changes are needed as they grow into adulthood, so is
developing the life skills they possess.
OBJECTIVES
• Identify characteristics about themselves that have changed over the past few years.
• Learn about stages of adolescent development and identify changes they may be
experiencing.
• Determine how life skills can help them as they undergo different kinds of changes.
• Understand that life skills work best in combinations.
LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, self-awareness, empathy, effective communication
self-esteem, sense of purpose, responsibility, caring
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: Development during Adolescence
• Handout 2: Personal Dramas
• Trainer Material 1: That’s Me!
• Trainer Material 2: Personal Dramas Answer Key
DURATION
90 minutes
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HOW CAN LIFE SKILLS HELP ME FLAP A WING | PAGE 20 PAGE 21 | FLAP A WING HOW CAN LIFE SKILLS HELP ME
3. Sit in a circle and give all students a chance to share their objects and to talk about themselves. To make
sure everyone has an opportunity to share, tell them to keep their explanations short with 30 seconds each.
20 MINS 1. Conduct a brief envisioning activity. Slowly say the following, pausing along the way to allow students to create 4. By the end, encourage them to hold onto their symbolic objects and over the hours, days, and weeks
clear pictures in their minds:
Think back to just a few years ago when you would consider yourself younger, more of a ‘kid’ and not yet a teen. You might ahead, see if the object continually describes them or if other objects would be more fitting, more appro-
even want to close your eyes to get a really good picture of yourself. (pause) Think about what you looked like, how you wore priate at different times.
your hair, games that you played, who your closest friends were, stories you read or you liked read to you (or the stories that
your parents or grandparents, or community elders told to you), music you listened to, and movies and television shows that
you liked to watch. (pause) Think about how you spent most of your time. (pause) If you were in school, who was your
teacher? What did you do in school? What did you study and learn? (pause)
2. Then ask the students to take a seat and explain that in the next activity, they are going to compare their 20 MINS 1. Divide students into groups of three or four and distribute Handout 2: Personal Dramas, which has eight
present self to their younger self. short situations about people who are experiencing changes during adolescence.
3. Tell the class that you are going to read a few statements (Refer to Trainer Material 1: That’s Me!), and if that 2. Instruct each group member to take turns in reading each story aloud. Then, ask them to decide what
describes changes they have made, they must jump up and shout ‘That’s Me!’ Once they have jumped up, ask changes the person is experiencing. Tell them to talk about as many stories as they can in the next few
them to stay standing for a moment so everyone else can see that they have jumped to their feet. minutes. Give them 15 minutes to do the activity.
4. After the activity, let everyone take their seats. Emphasize that this time in their life, where they might feel like 3. When a majority of the groups have completed the activity, form a large circle for a discussion. Select
they are in between two phases of their life, is called adolescence. from the following questions (Refer to Trainer Material 2: Personal Dramas Key for additional insights):
• Do any of these stories sound similar to people you know? Which one(s)? What is something one of the characters
5. Finally, explain the connection between the changes one might expect during adolescence and the life skills one experienced that is similar to things you have experienced?
should have that would make those changes easier. • Which people in the stories are dealing well with the changes they are experiencing?
• Which people in the stories have made the most progress toward adulthood?
• Which people in the stories have made progress in one area but not as much in another?
• Choose one of the stories your group talked about the most. What life skills would be helpful for the individual in that
story?
• Of all the changes during adolescence, which do you think are most difficult to deal with and why?
30 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 1: Development during Adolescence, which describes some of the changes people
experience during adolescence. 4. Conclude the activity by saying becoming more aware of the changes that might be happening inside
helps us anticipate and keep ourselves in order.
2. Discuss with the students how changes in each person happen slightly at different times. Say:
One person might experience physical changes very early but experience mental changes very late. And for another person
it could be just the opposite. One change might happen quickly and then another change might not happen for a while longer
and that change might take a long time to fully develop. Some changes might occur together.
3. Go over each section to clarify and give examples as appropriate.

Note: Be sensitive to the discussion of sexuality in some cultures. Affirm that sometimes these topics can make people
uncomfortable and that is OK. It is important to know that these changes are normal and happen to everyone. As the
facilitator, project a thoughtful, mature tone for the discussion.
20 MINS 1. Tell the students to think about some of the changes they are dealing with. Let them take a few minutes to
think about where they are in their physical, mental, emotional, and social growth.
2. Instruct them to look around the learning setting, among their possessions, or outside and try to find an object
that is a symbol for, or somehow represents, the result of the changes they have experienced before. Ask them to
return in about five minutes.
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HANDOUT 1: DEVELOPMENT DURING ADOLESCENCE HANDOUT 1: PERSONAL DRAMAS
Changes we experience as we grow from childhood to adulthood

(ages 11 to 21)
1. LEI has been feeling more self-conscious than ever before. It seems that other students are whispering about
her or watching as she walks to school or to the shop. Why are people always looking at her? Are her clothes
FIRST STAgE SECOND STAgE THIRD STAgE dirty? Is her hair a mess? It’s as if she were from the moon or something. Sometimes it makes her really mad
but other times she just doesn’t care.
CHANgES
• Early puberty • Physical growth begins to slow • Most women are fully developed 2. POL has always been a bit shorter than his friends, but suddenly things are different. As if overnight, everyone
CHANGES IN BODy SIzE
AND CHARACTERISTICS
• Rapid growth • Many men continue to gain body seems to have grown taller. Now he has to tilt his head up to look at his best friend! Girls in his neighborhood are
• Beginning of secondary sexual hair and muscle mass even taller than the boys and they don’t want to talk to him anymore. He used to have fun playing football with
characteristics (such as breast the other boys but now they are too fast. Will he ever grow up?
PHYSICAL
and genital development and

pubic and other body and facial 3. NATASHA’S parents have become very demanding lately. They always complain to her about the clothes she
hair growth) wears, who she spends time with, and how late she stays out at night. Last week she had a big argument with
her parents and they locked her in the house for the night. Why are they trying to run her life? They can hardly
take care of themselves. Her father nearly lost his job last week! At least she has good friends, she thought.
CHANgES
4. AMAYA’S grandmother just gave her a beautiful scarf. “Maybe you’ll wear it at your wedding,” grandma had
CHANGES IN THINKING
• Beginning ability to think • Better understanding of cause • Increased focus on the future
abstractly and effect relationships • Ability to think through an idea said with a smile. Amaya was happy but confused. Who can think about marriage? Amaya can’t even think about
next week! Maybe she’ll marry one day but what about university or a career? She can’t decide. It’s too far away.
ABILITIES
• Interests begin to expand • Greater ability to set goals • Better defined work habits
• Focus on the present • Begin thinking about the Right now she has to help around the house and care for her younger sisters.
CHANgES MENTAL
meaning of life
5. ISHEE lives with her mother, aunt, grandfather, and two younger brothers. It used to be difficult to get her
brothers to do their chores or schoolwork, but now they listen to Ishee when she gives them directions. When her
brothers are at school, Ishee helps her mother and aunt wash the clothes they take in for their laundry business.
After helping with dinner, she might visit with friends. On weekends, she spends time with her new boyfriend.
& EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS
CHANGES IN EXPERIENCE
• Feelings of awkwardness • Extremes of high • Stronger sense of oneself

• Worry about being “normal” self-expectations and poor • Increased emotional stability 6. RUDOLF had a great idea last night. He could offer to repair the fence at the orphanage. Maybe they would
• Moodiness self-concept • Sexual identity becoming ask him to do other work. It might even turn into a regular job since they also have a school and community
EMOTIONAL
• Increased feelings of love and established center. His girlfriend, Louisa, would be pleased. With the extra money, they could begin saving for their future.
passion Louisa’s more mature than his other girlfriends were. It makes Rudolf proud to be with someone who is so sensi-
ble.
7. RICH has been feeling confused and anxious lately. For a while she thought Kish really liked him, but today she
didn’t even say hello! Well, maybe he doesn’t like her so much either! Besides this, his mother has been pressuring
him to stay in school while his uncle wants him to help out at the motorcycle repair shop. Meanwhile he could be
CHANGES IN RELATING
CHANgES
• Realization that adults are not • Greater reliance on peer • Stronger sense of
perfect approval independence and self-reliance hanging out with his friends! How did life become so complicated? And what’s the purpose of it all?
TO PEOPLE
• Desire for increased • Distancing from parents • Capable of complex

independence relationships 8. LANA used to respect her father, but when she came home past midnight after being out with her boyfriend,
Lana’s father was really angry. He yelled a lot and even hit her. Lana got so upset she hasn’t spoken to him since!
SOCIAL
• Peer influence becomes more • Begin to relate to family

important members as an adult Why shouldn’t she be able to spend time with her boyfriend? At least he’s someone who cares about her. She
never felt like she was good enough for anyone before. All Lana’s friends tell her it’s a good match, too. And they
certainly know him better than her father does!
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TRAINER MATERIAL 1: THAT’S ME! TRAINER MATERIAL 2: PERSONAL DRAMAS KEy
Read aloud the following statements one at a time. Make sure everyone will have a chance to 1. LEI: She is self-conscious. Thinking that people are watching her or talking about her suggests an early
jump up and shout ‘That’s Me!’ at least once. You can also ask for more details when students are adolescent stage emotionally. Sometimes she cares; sometimes she doesn’t, which suggests moodiness.
standing. For example, if they identify that their taste in music has changed, you can ask them Life skills that may be helpful: coping with emotions, self-awareness, interpersonal relationship
what they used to like and what they like now.
2. POL: The early physical adolescent stage is suggested by Pol not having had a growth spurt while his friends
• You are taller. have. Concern that he will never grow up suggests an early stage emotionally.
• You have different friends. Life skills that may be helpful: self-awareness, interpersonal relationship
• Your taste in music (or books, movies, television shows) has changed.
• You play different games. 3. NATASHA: She is beginning to distance himself from her parents by becoming critical of them. She is beginning
• You spend more time in school. to be more invested in her peers. She is probably in the early to middle adolescent stage socially.
• You have more homework. Life skills that may be helpful: interpersonal relationship, empathy, decision-making, problem solving
• Your voice is deeper.
• You look more like an adult. 4. AMAyA: Amaya is unclear about the direction for her future (marriage, university, and career), which seems too
• You work more and play less. far away to think about. She is more focused on the present and fulfilling her home responsibilities, which is
• You have different chores or responsibilities at home. typical of someone in the early to middle stage mentally.
• What you want to do when you grow up has changed. Life skills that may be helpful: decision-making, creative thinking, self-awareness
• You like to do different things in your free time.
• Life feels more important, more serious. 5. ISHEE: Ishee relates to her brothers as an adult and has many adult responsibilities, which indicate a late
• You see life differently. adolescent stage socially. Emotionally, she is also mature, as suggested by her ability to balance complex
relationships with friends and her boyfriend.
Conclude by doing one more round and state: you are in the Flap A Wing program! Life skills that may be helpful: creative thinking, interpersonal relationship, sef-awareness
6. RUDOLF: Mentally, Rudolf is mature in that he is able to think through an idea and he has well-defined work
habits and is able to focus on the future. Emotionally, his relationship to Louisa also sounds mature.
Life skills that may be helpful: decision-making, interpersonal relationship
7. RICH: Rich is in middle to late adolescence. Emotionally, he experiences extreme feelings toward Kish. Mentally,
he is beginning to think about future goals and is wondering about the meaning of his life.
Life skills that may be helpful: effective communication, self-awareness, decision-making
8. LANA: Lana is in middle to late adolescence. Socially she is distanced from her father as she struggles for
more independence. She relies on her peers to confirm her relationship with her boyfriend. Emotionally, she feels
increased love toward her boyfriend.
Life skills that may be helpful: interpersonal relationship, coping with emotion, decision-making
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sectionTWO
positive identity of self
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B1 WHO AM I?
FOr MOsT OF Us, knowing oneself is not as easy as it sounds. some of us
POSITIVE IDENTITITY OF SELF

may not be prepared to face the truth about ourselves, to the point that we’ve tended to
allow outside forces to mold and shape our identity; and it is only through self-awareness
that we are able to accept or change who we are. self-awareness includes recognition
of personality, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, morals and values, priorities,
and feelings. It is only in the quest of knowing ourselves that we will be able to improve
our self-esteem and get out of our own internal struggles.
OBJECTIVES
• Become aware about themselves.
• Understand ways on how to improve their inner self.
LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, self-awareness
self-esteem, honesty, positive sense of future
MATERIALS
• Ball suitable for tossing
DURATION
60 minutes
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WHO AM I FLAP A WING | PAGE 30 PAGE 31 | FLAP A WING WHO AM I
15 MINS 1. Invite everyone to form a circle in the center of the learning space. 10 MINS 1. Ask each student to write down how they want to improve their inner self. Ask them to write three things
in their notebooks. Give them a few moments to think and carry out the exercise.

2. Instruct the students that whoever gets the ball will briefly tell the story behind his/her name: what it means,
how his/her parents chose it, for whom s/he is named.
3. Start by sharing the story of your own name in 30 seconds or less to model brevity for the students. Then
toss the ball to another student.
4. Ask the class of the new things they learned about other people. Tell them they will be learning more about
each other and themselves throughout this session.
1. Ask the students to write 10 sentences about themselves on the paper provided and divide them in three
20 MINS categories: physical self, inner self, and social self.
2. Remind the students of the description of each category, based on what you’ve discussed about the
developments of an adolescent: physical self includes their outer appearance and physical characteristics;
inner self, which is the combination of mental self and emotional self, includes their emotions, feelings, thoughts,
ideas, ideals, and values; and social self describes their relationships with people, environment, or the world.
3. After the students have carried out the activity, ask:

• How did you like doing the activity?
• What did you learn about yourselves?
• How else would you want to describe themselves?
4. Let them see that the life skill of self-awareness helps us to understand ourselves better. State that being
aware with ourselves is an important step in taking healthy decisions.
15 MINS 1. Now ask each student to write 10 sentences about a great leader, a person they admire, or a role model
whom they respect and love and may want to emulate.
2. After the activity, ask:

• Did his physical self or inner self make him great?
• What should we concentrate on improving: our physical self or our inner self? Why?
• When do you feel the happiest: when you focus on the physical self, social self, or inner self?
3. Summarize by saying:
As we look deeper and look within and search for the true meaning of our existence, we realize that we are all a small but
essential part of creation. Sometimes, we concentrate more on the physical aspect of our lives, but in reality, our inner
qualities are much more important since these are what will make us successful and happy. Being in touch with our inner
selves and doing the things close to our heart bring us more joy and peace.
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B2 WHO AM I? (CONT)
WE HAvE ALL gone through different kinds of successes and failures.While

only few recognizes the importance of both situations, many people still look at their
failures as their dead-end.This happens when we do not know our own strengths and
assets.some people may have assets in common but each person has unique strengths in
different areas. Being able to recognize and develop these assets will help us, particularly
the young people, to be resilient, to stay tough both during successful and difficult times.
resilience is the ability to spring back after something bad happens and to move forward
successfully, just like strong trees that bend and sway in the wind rather than break.
OBJECTIVES
• Recall a personal success or failure that helped them get to where they are now.
• Identify assets that they have and others they would like to develop.
LIFE SKILLS
creative thinking, self-awareness, coping with emotion
personal power, self-esteem, positive view of future, responsibility, honesty
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: Becoming Resilient
• Trainer Material 1: My Timeline
• Long bond papers
• Coloring materials such as crayons, paint and brushes, etc
• Markers
• Pencils
DURATION
120 minutes
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WHO AM I (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 34 PAGE 35 | FLAP A WING WHO AM I (CONT)
2. Tell the students that you will look through the list, and as you go along, circle any assets that helped
them with the success and failure they just identified.
25 MINS 1. Introduce the next activity. Tell the students that they will be going to explore who they are, where they have 3. Tell them to put an ‘X’ next to all of the assets they have, an ‘XX’ next to the asset they have that are
come from, and where they are going in life.

really strong, and a ‘☺’ to mark assets they would like to develop.
2. Give each student a piece of paper and pen. Ask them to draw a long straight line across their paper and to
divide it into years to represent their different ages from birth to their current age. Show them your own prepared 4. Ask students to get a partner and briefly share two to three assets they would like to develop and why.
timeline as an example. Then, ask for volunteers to share a few of these assets with the large group.
3. Invite the students to think of the most important events in their lives on the line. These can be both 5. After the sharing, say:
positive and negative events (e.g. starting school, holiday trips, being heartbroken). Ask them to write or draw We have a lot of assets and strengths among us. We have some assets in common and we also have strengths in
these events along the line. different areas. As you plan to develop your own assets, recognize that your friends here might be ‘helping factors’ as
you seek to improve yourself and build your resilience, your ability to go through difficult situations.
4. Once the students are finished, ask:
• What are some of the positive events that are common on the Timelines? 6. Have students choose a new partner so they may learn more about themselves by seeing how they look
• What are some of the negative events? from another person’s viewpoint.
• How have these events shaped who you are today?
• How do these events shape who you will become in the future? 7. Ask each other to share the experience they identified as a success or failure and the assets they used
that helped them. Let the partners share experiences and provide insights within five minutes each. Then
5. Explain the meaning of strengths, which are any positive qualities that make us who we are, the qualities that give a signal and ask partners to switch from being a speaker to being a listener and vice versa.
have helped us get through all the positive and negative events in our lives and helped us become the person we
are today. Relate it to the previous activity where they learned that everyone has different sets of assets and
strengths.
1. Distribute paper and art supplies.

30 MINS
2. Tell students to make a poster that is all about them: who they are, what they appreciate about
1. Ask the students to pick an event from their timelines when they did something that they are proud of, or that themselves what makes them unique, and some of their assets. Suggest that they might divide their paper
30 MINS they accomplished. into four sections for who they are physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially.
2. Collect examples from students who want to share and write them on the board with the heading “Successes”. 3. Let everyone work independently, then invite volunteers to share their ‘My Life as Art’ posters.
3. Now ask the students to pick an event from their timelines when they failed on something, or experienced
difficulty, which they considered as their turning point.
4. Collect examples from students who want to share and write them on the board with the heading “Failures”.
5. Build upon the discussion by having students identify what helped them to be successful and what helped
them overcome the failures. Collect and write them on the board with the heading “Helping Factors”. Ask:
• What helped you with your success?
• What helped you overcome some challenges?
• How did you do that? What skills did you use?
• Who helped you and what did they do?
35 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 1: Becoming Resilient. Say that we have a number of strengths that enable us to accomplish
what we want and need to do, and help us stay strong during difficult times.
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WHO AM I (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 36
B3 i am wonderfully made
HANDOUT 1: BECOMING RESILIENT
AdOLEsCEnCE is the most critical stage of human growth. during this time

of many changes, we often think of what kind of person we are; sometimes we see
you have many assets and strengths that enable you to be resilient.
you have used many of them already to accomplish good things. Use the following code to mark your own assets: ourselves as above average, but there are days when a closer look reveals insecurities
and flaws that we can’t ignore.With the various representations bombarded by today’s
X = Asset I have XX = Asset I have that is strong ☺= Asset that I want to develop or strengthen media, the idea of self-worth and beauty has also been distorted and given a false image;
thus many of us consider themselves unremarkable or even ordinary. This is why it is
1. I know adults who can help. important to help the youth discover the truth that we are god’s unique design, that god
For example: Parents and adults who support me; good communication in my family
has fearfully and wonderfully made everyone, setting us apart as the brightest, clearest
2. I can make secisions and follow up on them. mirror of god’s creativity.
For example: People see me as someone who can be helpful
3. I know my limits and expectations.

For example: I know the rules in my family, school, and neighborhood; my friends and adults have high
standards and expect positive things from me
4. I use time productively.

For example: Involvement in youth programs, creative activities, or a spiritual community
5. I think learning is important.

OBJECTIVES
For example: Commitment to learning at school; finding ways to improve myself
• Appreciate one’s existence and uniqueness.
6. I have high standards and principles.
• Recognize their strengths as God’s gifts.
For example: Believing in such things as social justice, honesty, or being responsible that help create a positive
community
LIFE SKILLS
7. I can interact effectively with others.
For example: Resolving conflicts peacefully; communicating positively in emotional situations; planning and
making priorities
8. I feel good about myself and my future.
self-esteem, sense of purpose, honesty
For example: Confidence in myself; pride in my work; meaning in my life; hope for my future
MATERIALS
• Projector
• Laptop
• Old magazines
• Glue
• Scissors
• Construction papers
DURATION
90 minutes
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POSITIVE
IDENTITITY
O
F
S
EL
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I AM WONDERFULLY MADE FLAP A WING | PAGE 38 PAGE 39 | FLAP A WING I AM WONDERFULLY MADE
20 MINS 1. Let the students watch the music video of Try by Colbie Caillat (/Flap_A_Wing/Videos/Try-Colbie_Caillat.mp4). 20 MINS 1. Give them a piece of construction paper and ask them to write the title “God thinks I am…” at the top.
Encourage them to take note of the lyrics of the song as they watch it.

2. Ask them to cut words from the magazine about the positive things they believe what God thinks they
2. Afterwards ask the students what they think the song’s message is. are, and paste them on the paper.
3. Make two columns on the board. Ask for volunteers to list down, based on the song, the things a person does 3. When they have completed their collages, ask for volunteers to share some of the words that they found.
to please people under Column A; and the things everyone should do, so as to stop “trying to fit in”, on Column B.
4. Remind students that they are a fearfully and wonderfully made creation of God. As God’s creation we
belong to Him and are drawn to Him. Say: We can thank God for making us His most prized creation by liv-
ing a life that is pleasing to Him.
1. Tell the students that the next game will show how different, yet the same, they all are. This is a game that
30 MINS will show how many ways the students can be divided into groups and how many groups they can belong in.
2. Start the activity by asking the students to stand up and to push the chairs to the side of the room.
3. Ask them to move into groups according to different categories. Some categories to group them by are the
following: long hair and short hair, black hair and brown hair, black eyes and brown eyes, with glasses and without
glasses, different colors of clothing, etc.
4. To finish the game, call all the groups together into one by telling the final category: a group that God loves.
5. Summarize the learning by saying:

God made us all. He made us all different. We all have different abilities, and different gifts. It is important for us to
know that although we are different from others we are still special, because each and every one of us was made in
God’ s image. We need to instill a sense of self-confidence as children of God because we are all wonderfully made.
1. Ask students to close their eyes and think of one of their own strengths.
20 MINS
2. After a few minutes, ask two or three students to share their strengths with the group. Use some of the
following questions:
• What do you call this strength?
• Why is it important to you?
• Where/when do you use your strength in life?
3. Have all the students pair up and take turns praising one another’s strengths. Encourage them to make eye
contact with the person they are praising and to be very specific.

• Strengths are positive qualities that make us who we are. We all have strengths and it’s important for us to
recognize these.
• We are influenced by all the events that we have experienced. We can build upon our positive experiences, and
we can bounce back from negative experiences and become stronger.
• God knit you together before you were even born. You were not created hastily. Every detail of your life was
carefully planned out for you. God loves His creation, you, and planned your life before you were born.
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B4 I AM VALUED
AsWE grOW Up, we learn about being a unique person who is part of the

world.As we grow older, too, we are given more responsibilities.While some people treat
their duties as a burden, it is important for adolescents to know that being responsible
may affect their lives and other people’s lives. roles and responsibilities, no matter how
small, define their existence.When they won’t take on their responsibilities, other people
lose their rights or they could become less successful and happy than they might have
been.
OBJECTIVES
• Recognize the value of oneself to his/her family, friends, and community
• Describe the different roles they currently have.
LIFE SKILLS
personal power, self-esteem, responsibility, community values youth
MATERIALS
• Trainer Material 1: My Roles (one each group)
• Rectangular pieces of paper (several per group)
• String, cut into strips
• Sticky tape
• Pencils
DURATION
90 minutes
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I AM VALUED FLAP A WING | PAGE 42 PAGE 43 | FLAP A WING I AM VALUED
Note: A pictogram is an image that is ‘read’ as a word or phrase. For example: the dollar sign [$]; the little picture of a
cigarette with a line drawn across it that is read as ‘no smoking’.
20 MINS 1. Ask participants to pair up with someone that is about the same height as them.
8. Give each group a drawing of a child (Refer to Trainer Material 1: My Roles, and ask them to place it in

2. Instruct them to sit with their backs against each other and link arms.
the middle of their circle.
3. Next, tell them to try and stand up without putting their hands on the ground.
9. Next, give each group several plain rectangular cards/paper, a pencil, and some string.
4. Once they have done this, ask the pairs to form a larger group of four and repeat the activity.
10. Ask the students to think about and discuss within their group the different roles and relationships that
5. Then, ask these groups to form larger groups of eight and continue in this manner until the entire group at- they currently have with their family, in school, and within their community, and to write each one down on a
tempts to stand together. separate piece of paper.
6. Ask the students: 11. When they are done, have them attach their cards/papers to the child figure in the center using a piece
• What did you learn during these activities?
of string. Have them to count how many roles they identified.
• What were the strategies you did to accomplish the task?
• How does it feel when all of you were able to stand up?
12. Ask them whether they can clearly see their different roles from the group pictogram.
• How do people in a group support each other?
1. Have each group share with the class what roles they came up with. Ask them:
15 MINS • Which roles are the same?
45 MINS 1. As an introduction, say: • Which roles are unique?
We are all part of different groups wherein we have roles to play. We have responsibilities to our family, to our friends, and
• What responsibilities are associated with each role?
even to our community. Sometimes, however, we don’t recognize these roles as being important to the betterment of the
• What kinds of expectations are associated with each role?
certain group we are part of. Depending on our strengths, there are things we can do that the others cannot; that’s why, a
• How easy or difficult is it to play these roles?
special role is given to us. In this session, we will try to identify these roles and responsibilities, and seek to appreciate our
• Are some roles more difficult than the others? Why?
value to our family, our friends, and our community.
2. Start the activity by writing your name in a circle in the center of the board.
3. Ask the students to call out the different roles they think you have in this world (e.g. teacher, mother/father,
son/daughter, friend, grandmother/grandfather, sister/brother, community leader, etc.).
1. Have the students do the ‘My Role Chart’ at home within their family.
10 MINS
4. As the students respond, write their responses on the board by drawing an arrow from your name outwards, as
2. Give them a sheet of paper and ask them to cut it into a big circle.
illustrated below.
3. Have them write or draw out the different roles they have around the circle, with a description of what it
is like being in that role. The student can the pop their head through the circle to represent themselves and
YO U R NAME
the roles they play.
4. Have the students bring theirs and/or their family’s Role Charts next session to share it with the rest of
5. Ask the students to think about the different roles that they have, and what kind of relationships they are. the class. you can arrange for a Show and Tell Session for this if you wish.
• How do they carry out these roles?
• Who gave such kind of roles?
• What do they feel when they do these roles?
• How do they feel when they are given roles and responsibilities?
6. Next, divide the students into small groups of four, and ask them to sit in a circle.
7. Explain to the students that they are going to make a pictogram of their different roles.
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B5 I AM a leader
LEAdErsHIp is part of the youth development process that enables the

exercising of one’s authority over himself and others. As young people go through the
stages of adolescence, possessing leadership qualities will prepare them to meet the
demands of physical, emotional, and mental changes. youth who display leadership
qualities are more likely to engage in positive, constructive behaviors and avoid negative,
destructive behaviors.Although being a leader does not require a formal title or position,
understanding the qualities of good leadership will help young people learn to use those
qualities in their own situations. knowing examples of great leaders can also help them
learn how to be more effective leaders themselves.
OBJECTIVES
• Understand what it means to be both a leader and a follower.
• Define the qualities of a good leader.
• Identify examples of leaders who embody the qualities of good leadership.
LIFE SKILLS
creative thinking, critical thinking, interpersonal communication
youth as resources, interpersonal competence, responsibility
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: Leading in Different Situations
• Trainer Material 1: Leadership Quotations
• Flip charts
• Markers
DURATION
140 minutes
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I AM A LEADER FLAP A WING | PAGE 46 PAGE 47 | FLAP A WING I AM A LEADER
Below each name, ask them to write a word or two about who these leaders are.
20 MINS 1. Invite the students to form a circle facing each other. 8. Collect the papers, shuffle them, and randomly distribute four to each person.

2. Tell them you are going to count to 20 as a group, with different people taking turns saying a number. Say the
9. Have the class form small groups of five to six people each.
rules which are as follow:
• Only one person can be speaking at any point. If more than one person speaks, we have to start over at ‘one.’
• You can say as many numbers as you wish as long as you don’t say two or more in a row. If the same person says two
10. Distribute flip chart paper and markers to each group.
numbers in a row, we have to start over.
• You must take turns at random. We cannot just go around the circle, set up a system, or have someone signaling who should
11. Ask the students to look at all the leaders each group member has and choose three that they can all
speak next.
agree are the best.
• If we have to start over, someone should simply start again with ‘one.’
12. Instruct them to write each leader’s name, one thing s/he helped achieve as a leader, and his/her
3. After a successful round, lead a discussion using the following questions: strongest leadership qualities. Write these on the board to guide students: Name of Leader, Important
• What made this game difficult?
Accomplishment, Leadership Qualities.
• What helped us be successful?
• What interesting things did you notice happening?
• What relationship does this game have to leadership?
• What are some important aspects of being a follower that came up in the game?
4. Describe the relationship of the activity to leadership, that even without a formal leader you accomplished 15 MINS 1. Lead a discussion using the following questions:
• What common leadership qualities do you see among the leaders?
your goal to count until 20. Say:
• What new leadership qualities should we add to our list?
To win the game, we had to include everyone. Even if someone had never spoken, she or he would have made an important
• Which leaders do you find most inspiring and why?
contribution by leaving ‘space’ for others to say a number at just the right time. Today we are going to learn more about
• If you could ask any of these leaders a question, what would you ask?
leadership and ways we can be a leader, even if we do not have a formal role as a leader.
2. Ask the student to think silently for two minutes about the leadership qualities they personally have now
and the qualities they would like to strengthen. Ask if one or two people would like to share what they
identified.
60 MINS 1. Ask the students what they think the characteristics a good leader are.
2. After hearing their responses, distribute at least one strip of paper to each person (Refer to Trainer Material 1:
Leadership Quotations).
1. Explain to the students that as an application, they will think about whether there are certain
45 MINS leadership qualities that work better in some situations than in others.
3. Once everyone has his own quotation, ask the class to stand and move about the learning space, show their
leadership quote to several different people, and read the quotes that they have. Tell them that if they find a
2. Divide students into two groups. Designate one-half of the students as Group A and the other half as
quote they like better, they can trade; and if they like what they already have, just keep it but try to get opinions
from other people about why it is particularly good. Group B. Give each group the appropriate half of Handout 1: Leading in Different Situations.
4. Arrange the students into groups of three to five and give each group flip chart and markers. Write the 3. Discuss the instructions as stated on the handout. Encourage them to share insights about the quotations.
instructions on the board as you discuss them with the class:
• First, share you quotation to the group.
4. Ask them to prepare a skit and show a situation when the type of leadership in their quotation is
• As a group, study all your quotations.
effective. Give them 20 minutes to brainstorm.
• Then make a list of the qualities of a good leader.
5. Give each group a chance to share one item from its list while you take notes on the board or on another flip
chart for everyone to see.
6. Afterwards, distribute four small pieces of paper to each student.
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7. Ask them to write four names of people whom they consider good leaders, one name on each paper. Tell them
that these leaders can be people in your country, in their community, school, place of worship, or their family.
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HANDOUT 1: LEADING IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS TRAINER MATERIAL 1: LEADERSHIP QUOTATIONS


Print several copies of this handout. Cut it in half so that Group A and Group B each have several copies of their half. Cut the quotes apart into individual slips of paper, one for each participant. If you have more participants than
quotes, make duplicate quotes. If you have more quotes than participants, be sure to include a mix of quotes from
various cultures.
GROUP A
Instructions: “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
1. Talk about the quotation below using these questions: When would it be an effective way to lead people? What is a
situation in which you would want someone to lead you in this manner? “It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things
occur. you take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.”
2. Present a short skit, only two to three minutes, that shows when this type of leadership would be effective. — Nelson Mandela
3. you have 8 minutes to prepare. “I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”
— Mahatma Gandhi
“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.”
— Theodore Roosevelt, U.S. President “you cannot be a leader and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too.”
— Sam Rayburn
Group B
Instructions: “You don’t lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case.”
—Ken Kesey
1. Talk about the quotation below using these questions: When would it be an effective way to lead people? What is a
situation in which you would want someone to lead you in this manner? “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
— John Quincy Adams
2. Present a short skit, only two to three minutes, that shows when this type of leadership would be effective.
“Leadership should be born out of the understanding of the needs of those who would be affected by it.”
3. you have 8 minutes to prepare. — Marian Anderson
“He who has great power should use it lightly.” “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”
— Seneca, Roman Philosopher — John C. Maxwell
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it
ourselves.”
— Lao Tzu
“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.”

— John Fitzgerald Kennedy
“Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.”
— Thomas J. Watson Sr.
“He that cannot obey, cannot command.”

— Benjamin Franklin
“A leader is a dealer in hope.”

— Napoleon Bonaparte
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I AM A LEADER FLAP A WING | PAGE 50
B6 I AM a leader (CONT)
“Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise.”

— Woodrow Wilson TO EFFECTIvELy apply their leadership qualities, young people must also

“For us in Jemez [Pueblo], we are leaders among equals … at some point you are called and given certain responsibilities know how to work in groups. Team leadership requires not only the contribution of a
as a leader. People respect that. But, when your time is done, you are among equals again.” leader but also the collective action of all members.When we are aware of our strengths
— Benny Shendo
and know what skills we have to offer, we can also be a good follower who’s smart enough
“Leadership happens at every level of the organization and no one can shirk from this responsibility.” to know when and how to use our own skills and talents for a group. It’s important to
— Jerry Junkins
realize that, by paying attention to what the group needs to do, young people can help
“Nothing is so potent as the silent influence of a good example.” lead by taking the right action at just the right time. As members of a group, they must
— James Kent
be alert to what is going on and decide how direct they want to be if they determine that
“Cooperation with others, perception, experience, tenacity. Know when to lead and when to follow.” a leadership action should be taken.
— Deng Ming-Dao
“The leader is a teacher who succeeds without taking credit. And, because credit is not taken, credit is received.”
— Lao Tzu
“If he works for you, you work for him.”

— Japanese proverb OBJECTIVES
“The path to leadership is through service.” • Identify their own leadership qualities.
— Samoan proverb • Practice leadership actions while completing a task as a team.
• Analyze their performance in a team.
• Identify the leadership actions they want to improve.
LIFE SKILLS
creative thinking, decision-making, effective communication, interpersonal relationship,
self-awareness
personal power, caring, responsibility, planning & decision-making, interpersonal competence
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Leadership Actions
• Handout 1: I am a Leader
• Handout 2: Leadership Actions Practice
• Prepared puzzle pieces in envelopes
• 300 to 400 pieces of index cards (150 to 200 per group)
• Tape or paper clips
• Timer
DURATION
110 minutes
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I AM A LEADER (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 52 PAGE 53 | FLAP A WING I AM A LEADER (CONT)
15 MINS 1. Ask the students to sit comfortably and fold their hands together with their fingers interlaced so the fingers 20 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 1: I am a Leader, a list they can use to keep track of the leadership actions they know
of one hand alternate with the fingers of the other hand. how to use.

2. Instruct them to look at their hands and notice which thumb is on top. 2. Ask each student to think about the leadership actions they took in the puzzle activity or other group
situations they have been in. Have them to write a three- or four-word example in the middle column for
3. Now, have them switch their fingers so the other thumb is on top and the rest of their fingers are still those actions they used.
alternating. Ask:
• How does this feel differently than the first time you did it? 3. When they are finished, ask them again to think about which actions they would like to learn to do more
• How long could you keep your hands this way without switching back to your old way? often.
• If you pull your hands apart and I ask you to fold your hands together again, which way would you do it?
4. After the students have completed Handout 1, lead a discussion using the following questions:
4. After hearing their responses, lead the class to a discussion with the following questions: • What is a leadership action we have talked about that you hadn’t thought of before?
• When have you experienced something like this where you made a change at first but couldn’t keep it going? • How much do you agree that someone can have the influence of a leader even if they do not have the title of leader?
• What has to happen for a change to become more permanent? • What is a time in the near future that you might be able to try one of the leadership actions that you’d like to do
• What advice would you give someone who wanted to make a permanent change? more?
• How is this activity like changing to become a better leader? • Which of your leadership actions are you most happy about or proud of?
5. Tell the class that in this session, they will learn how to be a better leader and practice come of the
leadership actions you will be talking about.
45 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 2: Leadership Actions Practice. Ask the students to choose two actions that they do
not usually do but that they will try to during the next activity by writing their name in the box ‘I Tried It!’
next to chosen leadership actions.
1. Divide the students into groups of four to six.
30 MINS 2. Divide the students into two groups and designate one as the green team and the other the yellow team.
2. Give each team an envelope with puzzle pieces. Say the instructions as exactly as they are written: If this will result in teams that have more than five people, then make two green teams and two yellow
Distribute the puzzle pieces as evenly as you can to all the members of your team. Make sure each person has at least one teams. Green and yellow teams will then work in conjunction.
piece. Once each person individually receives her or his piece(s), they belong to that person. No one else may touch them at
any time. You win when your team has all of its pieces in the right place. Ready? Begin!” 3. Instruct the students to individually tell the rest of their group the leadership action they will try to prac-
tice during the rest of this activity.
3. When all groups have solved the puzzle, lead a discussion using the following questions:
• What were you thinking and feeling at the beginning? 4. Tell the class the green and yellow teams will have a separate task:
• Did someone play a leadership role? If so, what did that person do? While the green team(s) are working on it, the yellow team(s) will silently watch them, looking for examples of leadership
• What did other people do to help your team even if they were not the leader? actions and qualities that helped the green team(s) to include all members and be successful. The green team(s) will do
• At some point your team realized it could not finish its puzzle. What interesting things did people say or do at that point? the same observation as the yellow team(s) accomplish their given task.
How did you eventually finish your puzzle?
• How was working with your team like other times you have worked with a group or team? 5. Have the green team(s) do their task first. Distribute 150-200 index cards to each team (if you have
more than one green team) and give the instructions:
4. Suggest to the class that they can think about different features of the game as representing things that Make a tower as tall as you can using only index cards (or small pieces of heavy paper). You may fold or tear papers as
happen in other team situations, their team’s putting together of the puzzle pieces could represent the way a you wish, but you may not use any other materials. Remember to practice your leadership actions and qualities. You will
team comes together to achieve a goal. have 10 minutes.
5. Show Flip Chart 1: Leadership Actions. Encourage the groups to think of and to talk about specific examples 6. After 10 minutes, stop the activity.
when someone in their group took that leadership action during the puzzle activity. Refer to the leadership
qualities that you have noted during the previous session and relate them to the leadership actions stated on the 7. Lead a short discussion by using the following questions:
handout. For the green team(s):
• How do you feel about your success?
• How well do you think you included all your team members?
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• What are some examples when you used a leadership action?
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For the yellow team(s): FLIP CHART 1: LEADERSHIP ACTIONS

• What are some examples of leadership actions or qualities that you saw as the green team built its tower?
• Have the green team(s) do the task first. Distribute 150-200 index cards to each team (if you have more than one green

team) and start the clock. After 10 minutes, stop the activity.
8. Then invite the yellow team(s) to do their task. Distribute the tape and 150-200 index cards to each team (if
you have more than one yellow team) and give the instructions:
Build a bridge or archway large enough for one of your team members to crawl under. You may fold or tear papers as you
wish and you may use tape (or the paper clips) but you may not use any other materials. Remember to practice your
SHARINg A VISION, A gOAL, OR A PLAN
leadership actions and qualities. You will have 10 minutes.
9. After 10 minutes, stop the activity. INSPIRINg AND ENCOURAgINg OTHERS

10. Lead a short discussion by using the same set of questions earlier.
11. Invite the students to reflect on the previous team activity and to think about what happened when they tried
that leadership action. Ask them to make a note about it on their handouts.
OFFERINg IDEAS
12. Encourage the students to keep the ‘Leadership Actions Practice’ and ‘I Am a Leader’ handouts to practice
the leadership actions they have chosen whenever they find themselves in a group. MAKINg SUggESTIONS
HELPINg MAKE DECISIONS
LISTENINg TO OTHERS
HELPINg OTHERS SPEAK AND SHARE THEIR IDEAS
SUMMARIzINg IDEAS, DECISIONS, AND PLANS
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I AM A LEADER (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 56 PAGE 57 | FLAP A WING I AM A LEADER (CONT)
HANDOUT 1: I AM A LEADER HANDOUT 2: LEADERSHIP ACTIONS PRACTICE


Put your name here:
Which leadership actions have you taken in the past? Write an example in the middle column. LEADERSHIP ACTIONS I TRIED IT! wHAT HAPPENED? NEXT TIME, I’LL...
Which leadership actions would you like to learn to do more? Write an “X” in the right column.
SHARING A VISION,
A GOAL, OR A PLAN
LEADERSHIP ACTIONS I CAN DO IT! I wANT TO DO IT MORE!
INSPIRING AND
ENCOURAGING OTHERS
SHARING A VISION, A GOAL,
OR A PLAN
INSPIRING AND ENCOURAGING OFFERING IDEAS

OTHERS
OFFERING IDEAS
MAKING SUGGESTIONS
MAKING SUGGESTIONS
HELPING MAKE DECISIONS

HELPING MAKE DECISIONS
LISTENING TO OTHERS LISTENING TO OTHERS
HELPING OTHERS SPEAK AND

SHARE THEIR IDEAS HELPING OTHERS SPEAK
AND SHARE THEIR IDEAS
SUMMARIzING IDEAS, DECISIONS,
AND PLANS
SUMMARIzING IDEAS,
DECISIONS, AND PLANS
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B7 I CHOOSE POSITIVE VALUES
THE vALUEs WE have determine the course of our life.We learn most of

these values from our family, community, and the society around us. sometimes, however,
when we don’t realize we have learned something, we tend to believe it has always been
that way—that it is absolutely true. It is important to have a foundation of positive
values because it will help us to also choose positive behavior.The messages and truths
we learn from the people around us go into making us who we are. In addition, the
choices we make and the actions we take contribute to the structure of the community.
Each of us also has the ability to influence our community by the choices we make.Those
choices add up and shape the kind of community we live in.
OBJECTIVES
• Identify positive activities in their community that influence how they view themselves.
• Describe how cultural values are acquired and how they affect personal values.
• Identify at least two guiding principles for how they want to live and who they want to be.
• Identify and describe at least two important influences on their personal values.
LIFE SKILLS
decision-making, self-awareness
community values youth, interpersonal competence, responsibility
MATERIALS
• Flip chart 1: Community Activities and Messages
• Handout 1: List of Values
• Trainer Material 1: The Values I Value
• Trainer Material 2: Agree and Disagree Statements
• Five small pieces of paper for each student
DURATION
110 minutes
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I CHOOSE POSITIVE VALUES FLAP A WING | PAGE 60 PAGE 61 | FLAP A WING I CHOOSE POSITIVE VALUES
• Which messages about the values are especially relevant for youth and young adults?
• Which messages about the values are important for everyone in your community?
15 MINS 1. Ask everyone to stand facing you and to clap your hands together at the same time.
9. Gather the papers with community activities and messages and randomly distribute one to each student.

2. Notice that the clapping will not be all together in unison. Now, ask the students to make one big clap all Make duplicates if you do not have enough papers.
together at exactly the same time when you count to three.
10. Encourage the students to discover some of the ways that other people have learned about the values
3. Notice again that some students will have clapped at the same time you did, before you said ‘three.’ Invite and messages expressed on the paper.
them to explain why they clapped before you said ‘three.’
11. Now instruct the class to interview at least two different classmates and ask them to give examples of
4. Introduce the session by saying:
how or from whom they learned the message. Say:
Often we don’t realize we are learning a pattern or way of thinking. The messages can be very subtle. When we don’t realize
For example, if your message is that education is important, someone might say that they learned this value when their
we have learned something, we tend to believe it has always been that way—that it is absolutely true. We learn our ideas
older sister helped them with their schoolwork.
about what is true from our family, community, and the society around us. Today we are going to talk more specifically about
the truths, beliefs, and values that we believe are most important, both in our community and for each of us personally.
12. Lead a discussion using the following questions:
• What was your value and what are some of the ways people learned about it?
• Who were the “teachers” of the value?
• What institutions or organizations help teach the value?
• How often did people realize they were learning a value while it was happening?
40 MINS 1. Describe how the messages we hear from our community help shape who we are, how the things someone
says about us influence our self-esteem and our self-confidence.
2. Distribute several papers to each student and ask them to write some activities, celebrations, or resources
that their community makes available to its members. Ask them to write separate ideas on individual pieces of
paper. you may ask the following questions to guide some students having trouble thinking of ideas: 25 MINS 1. Share your own definition of “value” with an explanation of how it influences our decisions. Say:
Values are the qualities and principles that guide our lives. They are the beliefs we have about “what is good” or “how
• What holidays or events does your community celebrate?
things should be” or “how things might be.” They form the basis of our decisions and inform how we interact with other
• How are life events such as births, graduations, weddings, and deaths recognized?
people. For example, if you value honesty, you will likely play fair with your friends and follow the rules at school. If you
• What public structures, such as community centers, water wells, and parks, have been built?
value patience, you will probably remain calm when you have to wait your turn and not get upset if someone demands
• How are vulnerable people, such as children, elders, and people with disabilities, cared for?
you do something for them. Or if you value courage, you will be more likely to stand up for yourself when you can’t get
• What commitments have been made for safety, health, housing, education, or nutrition?
what you need or when someone acts like a bully.
• What are some positive outlets in your community for recreation, leisure, sports, or the arts?
2. Distribute Handout 1: List of Values and ask the students to draw a circle around five values that are the
3. Ask the class to bring their papers to the center of the learning space.
most important to them.
4. Invite five volunteers to review all the community activities. Ask them to get rid of duplicates and for 3. Distribute five index cards to each person and ask the class to write one of their five favorite values on
suggestions of any that might be combined. each paper. Challenge students to be more thoughtful about which values are important in their lives.
5. Then divide the class into groups of three to four. Distribute the community activity papers evenly to each 4. Refer to Trainer Material 1: The Values I Value. Collect a slip of paper with a value from each student as
group. If there are more groups than community activities, make duplicate activities papers. you read each statement from Trainer Material 1.
6. Remind the students of the insights from the first activity: 5. Lead a discussion using the following questions:
When I asked you to clap together on ‘three’, my actions were more persuasive than my words. For example, ‘You followed my
• How did you feel as you gradually gave up or lost your values?
actions, not my words.’ My actions sent a message. In a similar way, these activities that you have identified in your
• What reactions did you notice other people having?
community also send a message.
• What other situations is this similar to?
• What are scenarios when you have had to give up one of your values?
7. Have each group think of the messages that each activity sends to its community members and write them
• What did you learn about your own values and holding values in general?
on the back of each paper. Tell them that some activities may send more than one message. Show Flip Chart 1: • Knowing what you know now, how might you react when someone asks you to do something against your values?
Community Activities and Messages to guide the groups in thinking of messages.
8. After the groups have had a chance to complete their work, lead a discussion using the following questions:
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• Which messages about the values do you like the most or do you think are most important?
• Which messages about the values surprised you or are ones you had not thought of before?
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FLIP CHART 1: COMMUNITy ACTIVITIES AND MESSAGES

1. Describe how people act and speak based upon a picture or ideas we have in our mind. Say:
30 MINS A mental model is the way we look at and think about the world around us. It is based upon our experiences, the things our

parents have told us, what we learned in school, the lessons of our religion, our cultural point of view, and many other factors.
But relying on our mental models also means that we might make assumptions or ignore information that would be helpful to
us. We cannot stop using our mental models but we can slow down our thinking and decide whether our mental model is
accurate or whether we should add other information that is around us.
FOR wHOM IS THE ACTIVITY FOR?
2. Post a sign that says ‘Agree’ at one end of the learning space and post one saying ‘Disagree’ at the opposite
end. Put one between the two saying ‘Not Sure.’
Note: You may prepare for this before the students arrive. wHAT DOES THE ACTIVITY PROVIDE?
3. Read each statement from Trainer Material 2: Agree and Disagree Statements and allow time for students to
choose where to position themselves between ‘Agree,’ ‘Disagree,’ and ‘Not Sure.’ Give them a few seconds to talk
with people nearby about why they made the choice they did. wHAT DO THE PARTICIPANTS IN THE ACTIVITY EXPECT?
4. Allow a few moments for conversations, then invite any small group to give some of the reasons they have for
why they agree, disagree, or are unsure about the statement.
5. Read each successive statement, allow students to make their decision. Do not ask students to discuss every
statement in small groups. However, as the statements become more significant or controversial, you can ask
them to have a short conversation and share a few ideas about why they agree or disagree.
6. Stop the activity at any point that they understand the concept of mental models. Then, lead a discussion
using the following questions:
• How did you feel having to form an opinion about the statements?
• Which statements were most difficult to form an opinion about?
• What decisions did other people make that surprised you?
• What was it like to share your reasoning with people whose ideas were similar to yours?
• What was it like to hear the reasoning of people who chose the opposite view from you?
• What are some examples of how you understood someone better or may have changed your mind a bit after listening to the
explanation of someone from the opposite side?
7. Explain that the differences in their opinions come from the different ways they view the world, their mental
models, and by talking about each other’s mental models can they see more of the world around them.
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HANDOUT 1: LIST OF VALUES TRAINER MATERIAL 1: THE VALUES I VALUE


Adventure Freedom Optimism Ask everyone to close their eyes and listen closely to the statements you will read. As you slowly read each
situation to the class, collect a slip of paper of a value they have and give importance to. Encourage students to
Assertiveness Friendliness Patience “give up” one value at a time, but be polite and persistent in your request.
Calmness Fun Playfulness
Caring Gratitude Privacy 1. Imagine that you are about to travel on a long, adventurous, journey. You’ve got to make an early start so you
don’t have much time to pack and with such short notice, you can only pack one bag. There are many things
Cheerfulness Hardwork Quality you’d like to take – like all five of your values – but, unfortunately, there is only room for four of them in your
Commitment Helpfulness Reliability bag. You will have to leave one of your values behind. Please look at the five values on your papers and choose
one that you no longer need and give it to me now.
Competition Honesty Resourcefulness
Confidence Hope Respect Safety 2. I know it was difficult to make that decision, but at least you have four values left to guide you on your long
journey. Unfortunately, you just had to wade across a small river because the bridge was washed out.
Cooperation Humor Self-control Regrettably, one of your precious values got soaking wet. If you leave it in your bag, it will spoil other important
Courage Individuality Service possessions. you better take it out of your bag and leave it behind. Please look at your four papers and give me
one that you think you can live without. you will no longer have this value on your journey.
Dependability Intelligence Speed
Determination Justice Sympathy 3. It was really bad luck to have to give up that value! At least you still have three good, solid values that are
important to you and will help you on this journey. Unfortunately, this next part of your journey takes you through
Directness Learning Teamwork a parched, dry desert. Things are looking pretty bad for you in this heat with such a heavy load in your bag and
Endurance Love Truth very little water. Rather than run out of strength entirely, it’s better for you to give up another value. I need you
to look at your three remaining values and choose one that you think you can live without and leave it in the
Enthusiasm Loyalty desert. Please hold it up now so I can take it.
Fairness Open-mindedness
4. I know that was difficult for many of you but the desert is very harsh. I imagine that you are feeling rather
protective of the two values you have left and that you would like to hang onto them and keep them safe. For
that reason, I am especially sorry to inform you that your journey has taken you to a steep mountain. In order
to climb the sheer rock walls, you will need to lighten your load. So I must ask you to give me one of your two
remaining values. This will be critical if you are to climb the mountain and reach your eventual destination. Please
look at them and consider carefully, then give me the value that you think you can continue your travels without.
5. Well, you certainly have all been dedicated travelers on this very difficult journey – especially since you’ve had
to make some tough decisions. you now have one value that is very important for you. It is one that you have
kept longer than any of your other values. Please take a good, long look at your last value because you have
reached the top of the mountain and the end of your journey so you may keep that value.
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I CHOOSE POSITIVE VALUES FLAP A WING | PAGE 66
TRAINER MATERIAL 2: AGREE AND DISAGREE STATEMENTS

Read each statement and allow time for students to choose where to position themselves between “Agree,”
“Disagree”, and “Not Sure.” Give them a few minutes to talk with people nearby about why they made the choice
they did. Gradually progress from statements of lesser importance and controversy to statements that will likely elicit
stronger opinions.
• Chocolate is the best ice cream flavor.

• Summer is the best season of the year.
• The most favored child in the family is the youngest.
• Elders should always be respected.
• Older children should do two hours of household chores every day.
• Students should always finish their homework before meeting their friends.
• Youth should work outside the home to earn money for their family.
sectionTHREE
• Someone with a disability should have the same chance to work as anyone else.
• Women should receive the same pay as men if they are doing the same work.
• It’s OK to live with your boyfriend or girlfriend if you are not married.
• Parents should help you decide whom you will marry.
• When you are an adult, you should live in the same community as your immediate family.
• It’s OK to help a friend by telling him an answer for a test at school. a purpose-driven life
• If someone is convicted of theft, they should repay five times the amount that they stole.
• It’s acceptable for teens to drink alcohol as long as they don’t get caught by the police.
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C1 BUILDING INNER PEACE
AdOLEsCEnTs face a variety of situations in their lives that lead to stress.

The most common sources of day-to-day stress for young adolescents these days are
problems with peers,school-related problems,family-related issues,and maybe even their
own fears. stress has physical, emotional, and behavioral effects, can cause severe health
problems and, in extreme cases, can cause death. Though stress may be considered
as an integral part of our lives, it is important that adolescents recognize that they
are responsible for their own stress and they are trained to cope with it. By managing
stress effectively, they can significantly improve the quality of their life. Awareness and
acceptance have to precede the action and change in attitude.
OBJECTIVES
• Understand the impact of stress in their lives.
• Identify the lessons learned from difficulties they have encountered.
• Learn ways on how to reduce stress.
LIFE SKILLS
self-awareness, creative thinking, decision making, coping with stress
positive view of personal future, responsibility, restraint
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: What We Need
• Handout 1: Reducing Stress
• Trainer Material 1: Relax and Chill
• Ball of yarn prepared with knots spaced randomly along its length
• Colored papers in blue, red, yellow, and white
DURATION
80 minutes
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BUILDING INNER PEACE FLAP A WING | PAGE 70 PAGE 71 | FLAP A WING BUILDING INNER PEACE
5. Explain to the students that they can anticipate their feelings and reactions to troublesome situations and
be prepared to respond in more positive ways. Say:
20 MINS 1. Write the word “DESSERTS” on the board, and ask a student to read it. Most of us have things that bother us on a regular basis. We call these ‘pet peeves’ because they are small annoyances
that seem to follow us around. If we let ourselves stay upset by small annoyances, our life can be a mess! We need to
2. Lead them to say words like good, happy, and the like by asking: How does it make you feel? be able to recognize things that upset us and make a plan to avoid them or ‘clean up’ after them. In the next activity
we’ll identify our pet peeves and come up with ways to deal with our anger.
3. Now ask someone to read it in a reverse fashion – i.e. “STRESSED”. Ask: How does this make you feel?
6. Demonstrate how to use a ball of string or yarn to make a list of pet peeves.
4. Now introduce the topic and ask the students, “What do you understand by stress?” Note down their responses
on the board. 7. Show the ball of yarn. Tell them that each person will take a turn listing some of their pet peeves by
Stress is a feeling that is created when we react to particular events. It is the body’s way of rising to a challenge and
unwinding the yarn until s/he reaches a knot. The first student to share his/her pet peeves will untangle a
preparing to meet a tough situation with focus, strength, stamina, and heightened alertness. Adolescents face as much or
knot and will pass the ball (and all the yarn) to the next person who can take her or his turn.
even more stress than other age groups. Some level of stress is normal, such as before a test or an athletic event. But too
much stress can have physical and psychological effects that interfere with the health and well-being of an individual. The
8. Demonstrate the process by taking the first turn.
events that provoke stress are called stressors, and they cover a whole range of situations - everything from physical danger
to making a class presentation or taking an exam.
9. When everyone has had a turn, remind them of the activity in which they acted out some stressful
situations and identified some unmet needs. Point out that this is just one way to reduce stress: by
4. Proceed to the next activity by distributing the four colored cards to each student.
identifying some causes of the stress, slowing down, listening to our feelings, and trying to identify our
unmet needs so we can find a better, more positive way to move forward.
5. Ask them to write the following on a corresponding colored paper:
• Blue: Events that have caused them stress (Stressors).
• Red: What happens physically to their body when they are stressed (Physical).
• Yellow: How do they feel mentally when they are stressed (Emotional).
• White: What do they do when they are stressed (Behavioral).
45 MINS
6. Then, ask the class to paste the cards on the board or on a wall in four rows — all cards of the same color in 15 MINS 1. Introduce the concept that relaxation is a way to reduce stress and deal with the emotions experienced by
adolescents.
each row.
2. Invite the students to sit comfortably and close their eyes.
7. Have the students analyze the cards and see the impact of stress on our bodies, feelings and behavior.
3. Tell them they will do an exercise that they can use when they feel stressed out.
4. Then, read the script written on Trainer Material 1: Relax and Chill.
5. Gently bring students’ attention back to the room by inviting them to open their eyes. Summarize by saying:
30 MINS 1. Explain to the students that many events or factors in life can lead to stress. Tell them that the feeling of When you feel stressed, it’s important to create some ‘space’ to cool down. You can use this activity on your own by
stress is partly due to external factors, but mostly due to internal factors which are under our control. sitting calmly and slowing your breathing while you remember your special, peaceful place. If you can take a deep breath
and count to five before you react to what other people are doing, that will give you a few moments to make sure you
2. Help students make the connection between emotions, unmet needs, and actions that result. Explain that we are moving in a positive direction.
tend to feel happier if our needs have been met but feel fearful if those needs are not being met. Further say:
There certainly is a wide range of emotions that you experience as adolescents. You may deal with all sorts of emotions that
cause stress and make it difficult to solve problems, make decisions, or interact positively with others. Sometimes, we may
even say or do things that hurt people and damage our relationship with them. But, if we can become aware of the unmet
needs behind emotions, we can begin to communicate and interact more positively with other people.
3. Show Flip Chart 1: What We Need. 15 MINS 1. Ask students to think in silence for a few moments about other things they can do to calm down or reduce
stress when they are angry or upset.
2. Then, ask them to share their strategies and list them on Handout 1: Reducing Stress. If the group needs
• Which of these needs listed below are most important to you?
more ideas, make some suggestions from the following: vigorous exercise, walking in nature, laughter, leaving
• What are some needs you would add to this list?
the scene, talking to a friend, deep breathing, listening to or playing music, playing a game, caring for a pet,
• Which needs do you think you are able to go without having for a while?
reading a book, helping someone, meditating or praying, listing things that make you happy.
• How have you reacted and what have you done when you couldn’t get something you needed?
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• How does knowing about these needs help you better understand the feelings of others?
3. Tell them to apply the strategies they have listed for the coming weeks whenever they face tough times.
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BUILDING INNER PEACE FLAP A WING | PAGE 72 PAGE 73 | FLAP A WING BUILDING INNER PEACE
FLIP CHART 1: WHAT WE NEED HANDOUT 2: REDUCING STRESS
FOOD WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
wATER _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
SHELTER FROM THE wEATHER _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
SAFETY FROM PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL HARM _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
SECURITY OF ONESELF AND ONE’S HOME gOOD _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
HEALTH _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
LOVE FROM PARENTS, A BOYFRIEND, A gIRLFRIEND, OR FRIENDS _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
POSITIVE IMAgE OF ONESELF _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
SUPPORT OF TEACHERS, EMPLOYERS, RELIgIOUS LEADERS, OTHER ADULTS _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
BELONgINg TO A FAMILY, TRIBE, CLAN, OR SOCIAL gROUP RECOgNITION OF _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
SKILLS AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO USE THEM INDEPENDENCE TO CHOOSE _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
AND CONTROL ONE’S LIFE _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
MEANINg AND A SENSE OF PURPOSE IN LIFE _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
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BUILDING INNER PEACE FLAP A WING | PAGE 74
C2 BUILDING INNER PEACE (CONT)

TRAINER MATERIAL 1: “RELAX AND CHILL”
THErE ArE TOUgH times and severe difficulties we have to deal with
NOTE: Make appropriate adjustments to the script for your setting. For example, omit references to that are beyond our control. Everyone faces tough times, but we also develop strategies
chairs if the group is meeting outdoors. Read the script slowly, pausing after each line.
that help us feel hopeful.We are able to bounce back from hard times and start over if
we need to.We can learn a lot from these troubling times that we experienced.We may
Close your eyes and sit comfortably. Feel your seat on the chair. Feel your body sink into the chair. not change our past to eliminate the bad experiences. However, often there is a way to
transform the troubling times into a new opportunity. If we can learn from those tough
Breathe deeply and slowly.
situations, we will find we have gained valuable new skills and abilities that help us in our
Breathe fully into your chest. Feel the breath fill your lungs. future. Learning from difficulties is one way to keep a light of hope burning.
When you exhale, exhale slowly. Try to gently release all the breath from your lungs. Pause when all your breath
is out before taking the next breath.
Think of a place you have been where you felt calm, relaxed, and peaceful. It could be outdoors. It could be a
room in your house or a place of worship.
What does this place look like? Try to recall details about it. As you picture the place in your mind, feel yourself OBJECTIVES
becoming more relaxed and calm. By the end of the session, the students will be able to:
• Identify ways on how to stay positive during tough times.
Inhale slowly and exhale slowly. Try to slow your breathing even more. • Name people with whom they talk to whenever they face difficulties.
• Learn how to turn negative life experiences into opportunities for learning and growth.
Feel yourself relax. Feel the muscles in your face relax and your expression soften.
Breathe in fully and try to fill your diaphragm and lungs without straining to do so. LIFE SKILLS
self-awareness, creative thinking, decision making, coping with stress
As you exhale, let all your cares dissolve. Send your cares out with your out-breath.
Feel the weight of your arms. Feel the weight of your hands. They are heavy and relaxed. DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
positive view of personal future, responsibility, restraint
Continue to see your special place in your mind. Relax as you enjoy every detail about this peaceful place.
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: I’m a Survivor
NOTE: Allow several moments of silence before gently and calmly calling everyone’s attention back to • Trainer Material 1: The Life of Nelson Mandela
the group and the learning space. • Paper/plastic bag
• Books
DURATION
80 minutes
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BUILDING INNER PEACE (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 76 PAGE 77 | FLAP A WING BUILDING INNER PEACE (CONT)
15 MINS 1. Invite a volunteer to assist you in introducing today’s topic. 20 MINS 1. Ask students to imagine a positive lifestyle and picture a situation where someone feels good about
himself/herself, has positive values, and manages emotions well. Give them about five minutes to do this.
2. Hand the bag to the volunteer and instruct that person to hold it in his/her hand, extending the arm straight out
at a right angle from the side of his/her body. 2. Distribute a small piece of paper to each student and ask everyone to write one idea on how to achieve
the positive lifestyle they have imagined earlier.
3. As you mention each of the following stressors, add another book to the bag while coaching the volunteer to Note: Try to identify enough ideas to equal the number of students. Be prepared to add a few of your own ideas if
keep his/her arm straight: necessary.
So far, we have been talking mostly about the pet peeves and daily troubles that make us feel stressed. But there are also
tough times and severe difficulties we have to deal with that are beyond our control. The loss of a loved one, being abused, 3. When all ideas have been exhausted, collect the papers and distribute them again to the students at
physical illness or injury, or being displaced or homeless are just a few things that might make someone feel angry, random.
depressed, or even to wonder whether life is worth living.
4. Write the following headings on the board: ‘Taking Care of Yourself’, ‘Getting the Support You Need’, and
4. By now the volunteer is probably straining to keep his/her arm out straight. If not, ask how much longer s/he ‘Positive Activities.’
would be able to maintain this position without becoming tired.
5. Ask the class to come forward and tape the papers they have below the category that is the best heading
5. Relieve your volunteer of his/her burden and ask him/her to sit down. for it.
6. Ask the students to list other emotions or effects they have felt as a result of the weight of too many 6. When all papers have been attached, ask whether students generally agree that the slips are under the
emotional burdens. Say: correct heading. If there are disagreements, ask them to share their views.
Having to deal with tough times creates stress. Everyone faces tough times, but we also develop strategies that help us feel
hopeful. We are able to bounce back from hard times and start over if we need to. Today we are going to learn about how to 7. Conclude the activity by saying that most of the strategies for developing ourselves well as we work to
respond to tough times in ways that you can be happier and stay stronger emotionally. fulfill our dreams fit into the three broad categories of caring for ourselves, getting the support we need
from others, and participating in healthy activities.
30 MINS 1.actually
Tell the students you are going to share the story of someone who faced an especially difficult time yet
changed a painful past into a hopeful future.
2. Read Trainer Material 1: The Life of Nelson Mandela aloud to the class, then discuss the following questions
with them:
• What did you find most interesting or inspiring about Mandela’s life story?
• What events of his past do you think would have been most painful for him?
• If you were in Mandela’s situation, which stress management methods would you find most helpful?
• How were his needs met – or not met – while he was in prison?
• Think of the personal values we learned from our previous session, what would you guess are some of Nelson Mandela’s
values?
• How might his beliefs have given him strength in times of trouble?
15 MINS 1. Ask students to think about some of the tough times they have experienced personally. Emphasize that you do
not want them to share any details about the situation, especially if it was recent or traumatic. Give them a few
moments to think in silence.
2. Then, distribute Handout 1: I’m a Survivor and give them a few minutes to fill in as much of it as they can. Ask
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the students to choose someone they know well and share the parts of their handout that they feel comfortable
talking about.
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HANDOUT 1: I’M A SURVIVOR TRAINER MATERIAL 1: THE LIFE OF NELSON MADELA

wHY wAS THE SITUATION DIFFICULT FOR YOU? Even though he was a political prisoner for many years, Nelson Mandela has become known as one of the most
influential leaders in the world.
South Africa had been colonized by the Dutch, who dominated the political and economic life of the country.
Whites had instituted a policy of apartheid, which meant a strict separation and segregation of whites and
blacks. The majority of the South African population was black, but they were not allowed to vote, they were
not represented in the government, and they were forced to live in separate communities with inferior health
care, poor education, and little access to jobs.
HOw DID YOU STAY HOPEFUL? Nelson Mandela was born into this system of segregation in 1918. As a young man, he studied law and worked
as an activist against apartheid. The African National Congress (ANC) was a political group advocating for the
rights of blacks in South Africa. Mandela joined them in 1944 and founded the ANC youth League. He trained as
a lawyer and started the first black law firm in the country in 1952 with Oliver Tambo. The two of them
campaigned against apartheid and in 1956 Mandela was charged with high treason and plotting to overthrow
the government. His trial, along with 155 other activists who were charged, lasted four years before all the
charges were dropped.
In 1960, the ANC was outlawed by the apartheid regime. Tensions grew worse and violence between activists
and the government was sparked when 69 black people were massacred in Sharpville, one of the restricted
wHAT DID YOU DO TO REDUCE THE STRESS? townships where blacks were required to live. Mandela began a campaign of economic sabotage aimed at
pressuring the government. As a result, he was arrested and sentenced to life imprisonment on Robben Island.
He spent 18 years there and was transferred to a prison on the mainland where he stayed until 1990. He was
in prison for a total of 27 years.
During his trial he said, “I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live
together in harmony and with equal opportunities …. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if
needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”
While he was in prison, his friend and law partner, Oliver Tambo, began an international campaign to free him.
wHO HELPED YOU gET THROUgH THIS SITUATION? wHAT DID THAT PERSON DO? In addition, his wife, Winnie, worked tirelessly to raise public awareness about apartheid. After 10 years of
international economic boycotts against South Africa, Mandela was freed.
Once released from prison, Mandela worked tirelessly with many of the same people who had imprisoned him
to end the practices of apartheid. As a result, he became the first black president of South Africa. It was also
the first time all races were allowed to vote in South Africa. He seemed to have a complete lack of bitterness
and anger over his brutal treatment in prison. In 1993 he received the Nobel Peace Prize, sharing it with Frederik
Willem de Klerk, who was the former president of South Africa.
wHAT PERSONAL ASSETS (PHYSICAL, MENTAL, OR EMOTIONAL ABILITIES) DID YOU RELY UPON? The official Nobel Prize award stated,
“From their different points of departure, Mandela and de Klerk have reached agreement on the principles for a
transition to a new political order based on the tenet of one man-one vote. By looking ahead to South African
reconciliation instead of back at the deep wounds of the past, they have shown personal integrity and great
political courage.”
In 1999, Mandela stepped down as president but he has continued to be an influential leader throughout the
world, helping to negotiate peace settlements in several African countries. He has been an activist for HIV/
AIDS research, was influential in bringing the 2010 World Cup to South Africa, and convinced a number of
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world leaders to form a group, called The Elders, to provide advice on global issues.
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C3 MAKING DECISIONS
MAkIng dECIsIOns is so much a part of our daily lives that, most of the
time, we don’t even realize we have decided on something. Sometimes it’s even difficult
to know what the best decision is in a situation.We can easily become confused when
there are many factors to consider. Likewise, making good decisions during adolescence
can be tough.What seems like a good thing at first may not turn out as we expected.
Part of the difficulty is that, during adolescence, our brains work differently than when we
are adults.With so many changes going on at once, making decisions can become very
complicated. Fortunately, there is hope; young people can learn to make better decisions
even while their brains are undergoing this incredible growth.
OBJECTIVES
• Demonstrate at least one method for identifying problems or priorities.
• Propose possible solutions and analyze pros and cons of each.
• Make decisions consistent with personal values.
LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, decision-making
integrity, planning & decision-making
MATERIALS
• Flip chart 1: Decisions
• Handout 1: Making Decisions
• Handout 2: PAUSE for Better Decisions
DURATION
90 minutes
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MAKING DECISIONS FLAP A WING | PAGE 82 PAGE 83 | FLAP A WING MAKING DECISIONS
(hopes)?
• E – Evaluate the outcome: Is this the choice I really want?
20 MINS 1. Before students arrive, set up the learning space with some special chairs and the objects below. (If you do
not have chairs, place the objects on the cushions or in those places people would typically sit.) 1. Summarize the learning by saying:
• A chair with stones on the seat It’s easy to become worried about whether you are making the right decision. That’s why it’s important to know what your
• A chair positioned at the front or focus point of the learning space Head, Heart, Hands, and Hope are telling you. You can consider the decision from more than one angle. Then, using the
• A chair with a sign that says “Reserved” steps of PAUSE, you can think through all the options and the possible consequences. You will have a better chance of
• A chair facing a corner or at the edge and facing outside the learning space getting the result you want. And if you need to change your mind, you’ll know what to change it to.
2. Allow students to enter and sit down as they usually do.
3. Point out how regularly we make decisions, sometimes without giving it much thought. Use the activity as an
example. Ask the class why they didn’t sit on the different chairs you’ve set up. After hearing their responses,
explain the from where they based their recent decisions (Display Flip Chart 1: Decisions as you mention these):
• A chair with stones on the seat: There are logical reasons that no one would want to sit in a chair with rocks on it. 15 MINS 1. Allow students to write some notes on their PAUSE handouts as you read a sample situation where steps
of PAUSE may be used:
• A chair positioned at the front or focus point of the learning space: Being right up at the focus of attention might make Joy lives with her mother and three younger brothers. After school she helps her aunt by repairing and altering clothing
someone feel uncomfortable so there are emotional reasons for choosing not to sit here.
that her aunt gets from friends and neighbors. This gives Lena some extra money to help her family. Unfortunately, she
• A chair with a sign that says “Reserved”: People tend to respect the social rules so this chair represents the social factors doesn’t earn enough money to keep much for herself. Last week, a tailor who has a shop in town asked her to work for
involved in making choices. him each day after school.
• A chair facing a corner or at the edge and facing outside the learning space: It’s an illustration of the way we make
choices that are in line with our goals, our purpose, and our hopes for the future. 2. Use PAUSE to help Joy with her situation. Ask students what they think might be going on for Joy at each
step of PAUSE.
4. Invite discussion of these concepts with these questions:
• What are some of the things you make decisions about every day without giving it much thought? 3. After you are finished discussing how to apply PAUSE in Joy’s situation, lead a discussion using the follow-
• What are some examples of decisions when you have relied upon logic, your emotions, social rules, or your goals to make a ing questions:
decision? • How well do you think PAUSE worked for Joy’s decision?
• If you were in Joy’s position, what would be the most difficult step of PAUSE for you?
• Which might be the easiest step?
• After considering the situation with PAUSE, what decision would you make and why?
• Would your decision be based more on your Head, Heart, Hands, or Hope?
• What is a potential disadvantage of using PAUSE?
30 MINS 1.factors
Tell the students that they can think of different parts of the body to help them remember the different
when making a decision. 4. Summarize by saying:
It’s easy to become worried about whether you are making the right decision. That’s why it’s important to know what your
2. Then, distribute Handout 1: Making Decisions. Say: Head, Heart, Hands, and Hope are telling you. You can consider the decision from more than one angle. Then, using the
• To remember the logical aspect, picture your head. Ask: Is it right? Does it make sense? What does my experience tell me steps of PAUSE, you can think through all the options and the possible consequences. You will have a better chance of
about this? How much does it cost? Is it safe? getting the result you want.
• To remember the emotional aspect, picture your heart. Ask: How do I feel about it? Do I have pains in my stomach when I
think about this decision? What are my instincts telling me?
• To remember the social aspect, visualize the hands. Ask: Who might help you with advice? Who might be affected by your
decision? What do other people expect? Who will approve or disapprove?
• To remember the role our goals fit, think about your hopes for the future, the wings. Ask: How will it affect me in the long
term? Will it help me reach my goal? Will it help me be a better person?
25 MINS 1. Invite students to think of a time they might use PAUSE. Tell that it could be a decision they made in the
past that they’d like to review, a decision that they will need to make in the near future, or a decision about
3. Ask them to think about a decision they made recently, and discuss among themselves which body part they a situation that happens to them a lot.
used the most.
2. Divide students into groups of three and distribute another copy of Handout 2: PAUSE for Better Decisions
4. Introduce a five-step process for making decisions. Distribute Handout 2: PAUSE for Better Decisions and to each person. Ask them to write their decision at the top of the page.
explain each of the five steps:
• P – Pause: What is the decision? 3. When students have all written something, ask them to exchange their papers within their own group so
• A – Ask yourself: What are the options? each student has the paper of a different person.
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• U – Understand the consequences: What will happen as a result of these choices?

• S – Select an option: How do the options fit logically (head), emotionally (heart), socially (hands), and in terms of your goals
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FLIP CHART 1: DECISIONS

4. Instruct students to list at least three options that someone could do for the decision written on the paper
they currently have. Allow a few moments so students can respond.
5. Then ask them to exchange their papers once again and to complete the third step of PAUSE, Understand,
based on the decisions and options written on the new paper.
6. Now ask them to return the papers to their owners. When each student get his/her own paper, ask everyone to
read through everything and use the next step of PAUSE to Select an option.
7. Encourage them to talk about their paper with the other members of their small group:
• Which option did you choose and why?
LOgIC
• How helpful was it to get ideas about the steps in PAUSE from friends?
• Did you use your Head, Heart, Hands, or Hope in choosing from among the options?
• How and when will you review your decision?
8. After students have had a chance for these conversations, follow up with a short discussion using the
EMOTIONS
following questions:
• What similarities are there among the situations for decision making chosen by the members of your group?
• How confident do you feel about using PAUSE in other situations?
SOCIAL RULES
gOALS
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HANDOUT 1: MAKING DECISIONS HANDOUT 2: PAUSE FOR BETTER DECISIONS
HOPE (gOALS) PAUSE

What is the decision?
ASK
HEAD (LOgIC) What are the options?
SAMPLE QUESTIONS FOR

UNDERSTAND
MAKING DECISIONS What are the consequences?
HANDS (SOCIAL) Head
* Is it right?
* Does it make sense?
* What does my experience tell me about
this?
* How much does it cost?
SELECT
HEART (EMOTIONAL) * Is it safe? Choose an option using your Head, Heart, Hands, Hope.
Heart
* How do I feel about it?
* Do I have pains in my stomach when I
think about this decision?
* What are my instincts telling me? EVALUATE
Hands How well did it turn out?
* Who might be affected by my decision?
* What do other people expect?
* Who will approve or disapprove?
Hopes
* How it will affect me in the long term?
* Will it help me reach my goal?
* Will it help me be a better person?
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C4 THINKING CREATIVE IDEAS
CrEATIvE IdEAs are helpful in making good decisions. people, however,

often think being creative means they have to come up with an idea all by themselves.
But being creative does not just mean inventing a completely original idea. It also means
being able to change or build upon another person’s idea. In fact, most creative ideas
are a variation of earlier ideas by other people.Teenagers must also learn that they don’t
have to come up with unique ideas to be creative.These are some specific ways to be
creative and when they use these strategies, they can find more options for the decisions
they make instead of thinking that there is just one way to do something.
OBJECTIVES
• Generate creative solutions for one community or personal priority.
• Learn various ways to think more creatively.
• Practice creative methods in decision making.
LIFE SKILLS
creative thinking, critical thinking, integrity
personal power, responsibility, planning & decision-making
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Get Creative
• Trainer Material 1: Questions for PAUSE
• Trainer Material 2: Planning for a Party
• Letters for P-A-U-S-E posted around the learning space
DURATION
90 minutes
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THINKING CREATIVE THOUGHTS FLAP A WING | PAGE 90 PAGE 91 | FLAP A WING THINKING CREATIVE IDEAS
7. Ask each group to imagine they are going to plan a party, where they will have many decisions to make
related to food, entertainment, guests to invite, location, date, and time.
1. Remind students of the PAUSE steps in decision-making.
10 MINS
8. Distribute a flip chart paper to each group and assign which will work on certain categories (Refer to
2. Point to the P-A-U-S-E letters posted around the learning space and ask students to say together the words Trainer Material 2: Planning for a Party).
they represent. Note: The groups working on ‘Party Food,’ ‘Party Entertainment,’ and ‘Party Location’ each have Php 10,000 they can
spend.
3. Distribute one slip of paper to each student (Refer to Trainer Material 1: Questions for PAUSE).
9. Encourage the groups to list as many options as possible within three minutes.
4. Tell the students that when you give the signal, quickly and safely make a group with everyone else who has
the same slip of paper as theirs. 10. After the time limit, ask the groups to stop. Have them leave their flip chart paper and move as a group
to another flip chart paper. Ask them to read through the ideas and do two things: 1) add at least three
5. When groups are formed, instruct them to talk to the members of their group and decide which letter of
ideas; and 2) pick two of all the written ideas and write the opposite of these ideas on the flip chart.
PAUSE their questions or actions fit with.
11. When three minutes are over, again ask groups to leave their paper and move to a different one. Ask
6. Wait a moment, give the signal, and when groups have chosen a letter to stand next to, give each group a them again to read through the ideas and do two things: 1) add at least one new idea; and 2) take any two
chance to tell everyone what question or action they have on their papers. If any groups are out of place, ask
ideas and combine them into a new idea.
the whole group to give suggestions of the correct place for that group.
12. When three minutes are over, again ask groups to leave their paper and move to a different one. Ask
7. Congratulate the class for recalling all steps of PAUSE.
them again to read through the ideas and do two things: 1) add at least one new idea; and 2) eliminate at
least one idea by drawing a box or rectangle around it.
8. Tell them that today, they are going to spend some time on the second step, Ask, so they will learn some
ways to be more creative and to come up with more decisions. 13. For the last time, ask groups to move once more but this time give them a couple minutes to review the
new flip chart. Instruct them to summarize the last flip chart and report it out as a group.
45 MINS 1.each
Tell students that you will read statements about creativity and ask them to find out what they think about
statement. Say:
• If you think it’s true, stand up. 15 MINS 1. Explain the inherent difficulties of making decisions. Say:
One of the most difficult aspects of making decisions is discovering the options that are ‘hidden’ inside the tasks we
• If you think it’s false, sit on the floor.
‘have’ to do. Many times we don’t have a choice about whether we do something, yet there can still be ways for us to
• If you think it might be true in some situations but not in others, you can stand halfway.
make some small decisions while doing what we are required to do.
2. Read each of the following statements one at a time and pause to let people stand or sit: 2. Lead a discussion using the following questions:
• You are either born creative or you’re not. (False)
• Which flip charts were the most difficult to think creatively about?
• You can learn to be more creative. (True)
• What are some advantages of being as imaginative as possible?
• You can only be creative in the morning or late at night. (False)
• Did your group become more creative as the activity progressed? If yes, to what degree? A lot? A little?
• You’ll be more creative if you have a deadline. (Usually false)
• After thinking more creatively about the things you have to do, to what extent do they now seem more manageable?
• To be creative you just need one good idea. (False)
• This activity gave you a chance to use some common ways to be more creative: writing down lots of ideas; adding
• Sometimes the silliest ideas are the best. (True)
ideas to a list; thinking of the opposite; combining ideas; eliminating ideas. Which of these did you most enjoy doing?
• To be creative you have to work alone. (False)
3. When choices have been made for each statement, share the correct response and the explanation for it. If
any student stood just halfway, invite them to explain their reasoning.
4. Share Flip Chart 1: Get Creative with students, a list of a few ways they can be more creative, especially
when trying to come up with a lot of different options in the Ask step of PAUSE. Help students make connections 20 MINS 1. Ask students to think of some of their priorities that they have for themselves and that others have set
for them.
between the statements about creativity and the items on Flip Chart 1.
2. Divide students into groups of four to six. Take the ideas that the students just listed and write each on a
5. Now explain that you would like everyone to have practice coming up with creative ideas.
different flip chart page so there is one page for each small group. Give each group a flip chart page with
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these instructions:
6. Ask the students to stay in the same groups they have earlier.
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THINKING CREATIVE IDEAS FLAP A WING | PAGE 92 PAGE 93 | FLAP A WING THINKING CREATIVE IDEAS
FLIP CHART 1: GET CREATIVE

Each group has a page with one thing that’s a priority. It’s something that must be done. I’d like you to write down all the
ways that someone can still make decisions even though this is something you have.
3. After five minutes, ask the groups to stop working. Have them leave their flip charts where they are and ask
each group to move to the flip chart of another group. Ask them to read through the ideas and do two things: 1)
add at least three ideas; and 2) pick two of all the written ideas and write the opposite of these ideas on the
flip chart.
again to read through the ideas and do two things: 1) add at least one new idea; and 2) take any two ideas and
4. When three minutes are over, again ask groups to leave their paper and move to a different one. Ask them
combine them into a new idea.
wAYS TO BE MORE CREATIVE
5. When three minutes are over, again ask groups to leave their paper and move to a different one. Ask them
wRITE DOwN LOTS OF IDEAS

again to read through the ideas and do two things: 1) add at least one new idea; and 2) eliminate at least one
idea by drawing a ring around it.
6. For the last time, ask groups to move once more but this time give them a couple minutes to review the new
flip chart. Instruct them to summarize the last flip chart and report it out as a group.
• Which situations were the most difficult to think creatively about?
• What are some advantages of being as outrageous (extremely unusual, unconventional, extravagant) as possible?
• To what degree did your group become more creative as the activity progressed?
• After thinking more creatively about the things you have to do, to what extent do they now seem more manageable?
ADD IDEAS TO A LIST THINK
• This activity gave you a chance to use some common techniques for being more creative: writing down lots of ideas; adding
ideas to a list; thinking of the opposite; combining ideas; eliminating ideas. Which of these did you most enjoy doing?
OF THE OPPOSITE COMBINE
IDEAS
ELIMINATE IDEAS
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THINKING CREATIVE IDEAS FLAP A WING | PAGE 94 PAGE 95 | FLAP A WING THINKING CREATIVE IDEAS
TRAINER MATERIAL 1: QUESTIONAS FOR PAUSE TRAINER MATERIAL 2: PLANNING FOR A PARTy
Make copies of this page and cut it into squares along the dotted lines. Distribute them randomly, one square to each student. Assign each group to plan on a certain part of a party. You may write the following headings beforehand on the flip charts you
Make as many squares as needed for the number of students. Use Handout 1: PAUSE for Better Decisions as an answer key. will provide for the groups during the ‘Learn’ activity.
Note that there are two squares below for S.
PARTY FOOD
wHAT IS THE wHAT ARE THE
PARTY ENTERTAINMENT
DECISION? OPTIONS?
PARTY gUESTS PARTY
wHAT IS THE CHOOSE AN LOCATION
DECISION? OPTION.
PARTY DATE AND TIME
HOw wELL DID USE YOUR HEAD,
IT TURN OUT? HEART, HANDS, HOPE.
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C5 SOLVING PROBLEMS
prOBLEM sOLvIng enables us to deal constructively with problems that

arise in our lives. Significant problems that are left unattended can cause mental stress
and physical strain. problem solving is the process of tackling problems in a systematic and
rational way.There are many advantages to following the steps of problem solving.The
aim of the problem solving is to encourage teenagers to develop a systematic approach
to tackling problems and to be able to reflect on their approach.While not every youth
will become a great problem solver, skills can be improved so that a logical and rational
approach is taken which will stand them in good stead whatever the situation.
OBJECTIVES
• Discover different solutions to difficult situations where they might feel helpless, or where
it seems that no solution is available.
• Identify the causes and effects of problems and possible solutions to those.
• Identify the steps in problem solving.
LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, decision-making, problem solving
planning & decision-making
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Problem-Solving Steps
• Handout 1: PAUSE for Better Decisions (from Session C3)
• Handout 2: Problem-Solving Worksheet
• Trainer Material 1: Problem-Solving Steps
• Trainer Material 1: Six Blind Men
• Markers
DURATION
120 minutes
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SOLVING PROBLEMS FLAP A WING | PAGE 98 PAGE 99 | FLAP A WING SOLVING PROBLEMS
9. Inform them that the statements are the steps in problem solving. Ask them to form a line and put
themselves in the order that they think the problem solving steps should go. The person in front should be the
20 MINS 1. Ask the students to find a partner and stand facing that partner. Then, ask them to put their palms against
each other’s at about chest height. first step.
2. Next, instruct the students to try to get their partner to be the first to move his or her feet by pushing each 10. Once groups have completed the task, reveal the statements in the order they are presented. Suggested
other’s palm. Whoever gets his or her partner move first wins. order:
• Define the problem
• Include others
3. Stop the activity after two minutes or earlier if some students are able to make their partners move. Ask
• Describe the best possible outcome
some of the following questions:
• List options
• If someone was successful in getting their partner to move, ask that person: What did you do to get your partner to move?
• Weigh the pros and cons
• If no one was able to move their partner, ask the class: Why was this task so difficult?
• Decide which option to take
4. Tell the class that the activity is similar to a situation from their lives when they have tried to get someone to
do what they wanted. Say: 11. If groups put the statements into a different order, ask: What can you tell us about the order you have
Conflict and problems can arise when people have different perspectives and they don’t yield or give any ground. They hold
selected?
Note: While the steps are all important, they might have a good reason for putting the steps in a different order. The
tightly to their own position. In these situations there is a sense that only one person – or one point of view – can ‘win’. In
order of the steps is less important than the fact that the students are thinking about the steps and elements of
this session, we will look at how two different perspectives can be right at the same time and how we can all be ‘winners’
problem solving.
when we don’t try to just push forward with our own way of seeing things and make everyone else give in to our force.
12. Have a brief discussion about each step to ensure that everyone understands it. Display Flip Chart 1:
Problem-Solving Steps.
60 MINS 1. Ask the students to imagine they are on a ship and that a storm has forced the vessel to the shore of an
uninhabited island. Tell them that they are allowed to bring from the ship only one thing that belongs to them and
that they value a great deal. Point out that the item should be something that a person their age is likely to have.
30 MINS 1. Tell the story of the blind men and the elephant. Refer to Trainer Material 2: The Six Blind Men.
2. Have them write their choice on a piece of paper.
2. Facilitate a discussion about how the story relates to collaboration and problem solving:
• What lesson do you get from this story?
3. Now divide the class into groups of six or seven.
• How is this story like a situation in your life – a situation where you might see something different than someone else?
• Collaboration means working with others to get something done. How can you collaborate with others if you have
4. Instruct each group to work together and to plan how it will use what each member has brought with him/her
different perspectives or points of view?
from the ship to help the group survive. Emphasize that they must use all the objects each team member
• How might the blind men in the story have been right collectively, what would have needed to happen?
brought from the ship.
• How can different points of view actually make solving a problem easier or result in a better solution?
5. Encourage them to draw on a flip chart the objects they have and what they will do with those objects.
We each have our own stories, our own perspectives. If we are to work, live, and play together, we need to find ways to
6. After they finish, ask them to choose a representative who will present his/her group’s plan to use every
respect each other’s points of views. Also, we can learn from each other and get a fuller picture of possibilities when we
object its members took with them from the ship.
include others’ perspectives – like the blind men.
7. After all the groups have finished their presentations, lead a discussion using the following questions:
• What did survival mean for you? Was it living and surviving on the island, or asking for help?
• What challenges did you face in this exercise?
• How many alternatives did you go through before reaching the final plan? On what did you base your solution?
• Did you blame one another when one of you brought something from the ship that others thought might be a burden?
• Was that blame helpful in finding the solution? Did it add negative energy to the group? If so, how did you overcome it? 15 MINS 1. PracticeTherewith the steps by sharing the following situation:
is a conflict in a town. Most people keep their houses and propertyvery neat and tidy. Their properties are well-
• Was there a specific person who tried to unite the group?
cared for and maintained. There is, however, one person in the center of the town who tries to keep up his house and
• How important do you think this role is, and why? What role did flexibility play in all of this?
property, but for reasons such as money or illness, he cannot maintain his house at the same standards as his neighbors.
8. Now give each group the six statements from Trainer Material 1: Problem-Solving Steps and ask each person to
2. Distribute Handout 2: Problem-Solving Worksheet. Ask the groups to use the problem-solving steps to
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take one of the pieces of paper.

address the scenario.
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FLIP CHART 1: PROBLEM-SOLVING STEPS HANDOUT 2: PROBLEM SOLVING WORKSHEET

Use this worksheet to guide your group as you try to solve the problem we have identified.
DEFINE THE PROBLEM

The way you define the problem helps determine the kind of result you are going to
DEFINE THE PROBLEM.
get. What is considered a problem by one person might not be a problem to another.
INCLUDE OTHERS
Think about who else the problem affects, who can help you or who has
INCLUDE OTHERS.
information about the problem.
DESCRIBE THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME
What would you like to happen? DESCRIBE THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME.
LIST OPTIONS
What are possible strategies, things you can do, to achieve the best possible
outcome? Often there are several paths one could take.
LIST OPTIONS.
wEIgH THE PROS AND CONS

Take the top two or three options and break them down into the
pluses andminuses of each option.
DECIDE wHICH OPTION TO TAKE

This is where you can use the PAUSE decision-making process
wEIgH PROS AND CONS.
(Remind students that “U” stands for understanding the consequences;

while “S” stands for selecting option using their Head, Heart, Hands, or Hopes).
DECIDE wHICH OPTION TO TAKE.
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TRAINER MATERIAL 1: PROBLEM-SOLVING STEPS TRAINER MATERIAL 2: THE SIX BLIND MEN
Make a set of the problem-solving steps for each group of students by printing a copy of this sheet for each group of students
and cutting the steps apart on the dotted lines.
An elephant wandered into a village. Six blind men walking together came upon the elephant. For each,
it was his first experience with such an animal. The first blind man walked into the elephant’s side and
said, “The elephant is like a big wall.”
Another man’s hands fell upon the tail and declared, “The elephant is like a rope.”
DEFINE THE PROBLEM A third blind man encountered the elephant’s foot and said, “You are both wrong. The elephant is like a
big tree trunk.”
The fourth felt the elephant’s ear and said, “The elephant is like a fan.”
The fifth blind man got poked by the end of the elephant’s tusk and said, “You all don’t know what you
INCLUDE O THERS are talking about! The elephant is like a spear.”
“No,” said the sixth blind man, who had taken hold of the moving trunk and said, “The elephant is like a
snake!”
The men stood by the elephant, arguing over who was right until another villager with sight came by
DESCRIBE THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME and said that each was right, but all were wrong. They were wrong because they believed only what
they experienced about the elephant and refused to consider what others felt or experienced.
LIST OPTIONS
w EI g H PROS AND CONS
DECIDE w HICH OPTION TO TAKE
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C6 SETTING GOALS
vArIOUs CULTUrEs have different understandings about the

future. some believe the future is pre-determined, in the hands of god, or that an
individual’s life
is a matter of fate. Others believe that individuals can influence their own future by the
actions they take now. As individuals with reasoning and free will, teenagers must know
that their goals are more likely to be achieved if they plan for them and follow that plan
to completion.visualizing dreams is helpful to have a clear idea of what they want for the
future and creates a positive pressure.Aside from this, teenagers must also learn that they
can have different goals for themselves, dependent upon whether they are considering the
intellectual, social, emotional, physical, or spiritual side of who they are.
OBJECTIVES
• Identify some of the elements they would like to have in their lives as adults.
• Further redefine their personal vision.
LIFE SKILLS
planning & decision-making, sense of purpose, positive view of personal future,
responsibility
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: My Dream
• Trainer Material 1: What’s Your Dream
• Rubber bands
• Long bond papers
• Markers or crayons
• Magazine pictures
• Glue or tape
DURATION
60 minutes
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SETTING GOALS FLAP A WING | PAGE 106 PAGE 107 | FLAP A WING SETTING GOALS
• To what extent did you limit yourself by thinking only about what you thought might be possible?
• How would your visualization be different if there were no limits on what you could become?
10 MINS 1. Ask the students to sit in a circle and give a rubber band to each person.
2. Ask them to loop it between their hands, stretch them apart one above the other, and hold it there for a few
moments. Wait 30 to 40 seconds, then ask: The longer you hold one hand above the other, what do you notice?
3. Ask them to try it again, one hand above the other, but this time stretch them as far apart as they can with-
out breaking the rubber band. Wait 30 to 40 seconds, then ask what do they feel. 20 MINS 1. Remind students of the human figure you used in figuring out how to make decisions. Explain that there is
a similarity between how we make decisions and how we plan for our future because the decisions we make
every day can help us get closer to what we want for our future.
4. Ask them to stretch the rubber band one more time, but this time, imagining that the lower hand is their life
today and the upper hand being the things that make them happy. Then, say: 2. Distribute a sheet of flip chart paper and markers to each participant.
Now when you raise your ‘happiness’ hand above your ‘today’ hand and you feel that tight stretch, what can you do to ease
the tension?
3. Show Flip Chart 1: My Dream and say that they are going to use another human figure to think about their
future.
5. Invite the students to share their observations about the connections between their lives today and the lives
they would like to have in the future. You can ask some of the questions below, then fill in with any thoughts
4. Ask them to draw a human stick figure and label different parts of it with signs for intellectual, social,
from the list that aren’t brought up by the students. emotional, physical, and spiritual.
• If one way of relieving the tension between your life today and what makes you happy is to lower your ‘happiness’ hand,
what might that represent?
5. Instruct students to fill in the ‘Three Years from Now’ section of their paper with words or pictures they
• Another way to reduce the tension is to raise your ‘today’ hand. What might that represent in real life?
wish to describe their future. Give students at least 10 minutes to work.
• Sometimes your hands were further apart and there was more pull, tightness, or stress between your ‘today’ and ‘happiness’
hands. What might this represent in a person’s life?
6. When most of the class have completed the near future vision of their posters, ask students to choose a
partner with whom they feel comfortable.
In order to be happy in the future, you need to be clear about what you want, but also clear about what your life is like right
7. Then allow everyone to share posters with each one’s partner.
now. Today we are going to be talking about the importance of having goals to guide our path to the future and you’ll have a
chance to think about some of your own goals.
8. Now ask students to help their partners complete the last part of their poster, the ‘As an Adult’ part,
which is further into the future. Encourage them to help each other think about how the other might change
and grow intellectually, socially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually as s/he becomes an adult.
9. When posters are completed, ask volunteers to share their posters with the whole group. Ask each volun-
teer to hold her or his poster up while her or his partner describes some of the most important features of
1. Invite the class to think about what they would like for their future.
20 MINS the person’s future.
2. Begin the visualization by asking people to get comfortable. Slowly read the instructions from Trainer Material
1: What’s Your Dream.
3. Explain that the visualization was a chance for them to get an idea of what some of their hopes and dreams
for the future might be. Say:
When you have a clear idea of what you want for the future, it creates a positive pressure, like we learned with the rubber
band, which pulls us toward the future that we desire.
10 MINS 1. When the students have gained their focus on the session, gather some general thoughts with the following
questions:
• How easy or difficult was it to think about your future three years from now?
• Which was most exciting to think about — your intellectual, social, emotional, physical, or spiritual happiness?
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• How far did you “stretch the rubber band?” Was there a big difference between how you see yourself now and how you
might be in the future?
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SETTING GOALS FLAP A WING | PAGE 108 PAGE 109 | FLAP A WING SETTING GOALS
TRAINER MATERIAL 1: PROBLEM-SOLVING STEPS HANDOUT 1: My DREAM
This activity might make some of the students feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Tell them you would be happy to talk to anyone
individually after the session if they would like. Explain that for now, it is important to realize that their emotions help them
identify what is most important to them. If they have strong feelings after the activity, encourage them to try to understand THREE yEARS FROM NOW AS AN ADULT
why they feel that way and to use those feelings to figure out what is most important to them.
SPIRITUAL
Now, begin the visualization by asking students to get comfortable. Say:
Please sit comfortably in your chair or on the floor. Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths and let the air out slowly.
Pause after each group of sentences to allow time for the participants to visualize. INTELLECTUAL
Imagine it is three years from now. After completing this training program, you have gone on to do many things that
you had not expected before. you are very happy with your life now. Take a moment to feel what it is like to be that
happy.
Think for a moment about your mind and what you have learned. What intellectual abilities do you have now that you EMOTIONAL
have always wanted to have? Maybe you are good at writing, or mathematics, or reading, or drawing.
SOCIAL
Think about your social life. What friends do you have? What kind of relationship do you have with your parents,
caregivers, and other family members? Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? What is that relationship like?
PHYSICAL
Next, think about your emotions. Are you happy? Do you feel confident? Are you able to deal with difficulties and set
backs?
Imagine what you are like physically. Are you strong and healthy? Do you have the food, shelter, and clothing you need?
What is your spiritual life like? Do you have hope during difficult situations? What is your relationship to God (or a
higher power)? Are you worried about your death or the future?
Leave a moment of silence after the last prompt so that students can better refocus on the class setting.
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C7 SETTING GOALS (CONT)
sOMETIMEs WHEn we describe things, we do not give as much detail

as we should.We start with a general view, which is all right for a while. But to understand
the full picture, we need to identify and describe more details. By focusing our attention
on specific parts, we can begin to see important connections, as well as the relationships
between different parts. sMArT goals help us think about all these details in our planning.
Goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound give us a specific
strategy to achieve what we want. If we can become clear about what we would like our
future story to be, we can begin to see the steps we can take to get there.
OBJECTIVES
• Understand what a SMART goal is.
• Determine the importance of setting SMART goals and means to achieve them
• Apply SMART goal setting to achieving their own goals.
• Identify the importance of having a certain amount of detail in a plan of action.
LIFE SKILLS
responsibility
MATERIALS
• Flip-chart 1: Writing a Goal
• Handout 1: SMART Goals
• Handout 2: A Recipe for SMART Goals
• Handout 3: My Surprising Future
• Old newspapers
• Tape
DURATION
80 minutes
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SETTING GOALS (CONT) FLAP A WING | PAGE 112 PAGE 113 | FLAP A WING SETTING GOALS (CONT)
2. Tell the students to take a few moments to imagine that the things they want for their home life, work life,
family life, life in the community, and life with their friends have happened exactly as they had hoped.
15 MINS 1. Distribute old newspapers to each student. Instruct them to roll their paper into a long tube with a diameter a
little larger than their eye. Give them tape to keep it in place.
3. Ask them to write a story about that successful future using Handout 3, writing the story as if it is true
2. Ask them to look at an object across the learning. for them now.
4. Encourage some students to share their own stories with the class.
3. Instruct them to cover or close their one eye and use the other to look through their tube at their chosen
object. Encourage them to look at a larger object or one that is closer to them if they can see the whole object
5. Finally, ask the students:
through their tube.
• How did it feel to be writing a story about your success in the future?
• To what extent does your dream seem more real after writing and reading it?
4. After a few seconds, lead a discussion using the following questions:
• If you were going to write another story about your future, what would you do differently?
• First you looked at an object then looked at it again through your tube. In which case were you able to notice more details?
• What can you do to make your story become real?
• What was it about looking through the tube that helped you notice more details?
• What other differences did looking through the tube make?
• Suppose choosing an object in the distance is like choosing a goal for yourself. What might looking at it through the tube
represent?
5. Tell the class that today’s session will help them develop the skill of focusing attention.
20 MINS 1. For the last activity, ask the students to think of one small goal that they could accomplish in a couple
months (time-bound, short-term) and one goal that they could accomplish in about a year (time-bound, long-
term).
Note: The two goals might be connected so that the short-term goal may help get to the long-term goal.
2. Distribute more blank copies of Handout 2 as a guide.

1. Remind the students that from the past weeks, you have been discussing what careers they would like to have
45 MINS in the future. Invite them to think about these goals in more detail.
3. When everyone has written at least one SMART goal, ask the students to find a partner and share their
2. Show Flip Chart 1: Writing a Goal. Ask the students to look for the difference between Goal 1A and Goal 1B. SMART goals. Encourage them to get ideas from their partner about how they can make their goal more
specific and measurable.
3. Divide the class into groups of three to five. Ask them to look at Goal 2A and Goal 2B. Have them talk in their
4. Allow about five minutes for sharing. Then, lead a discussion with these questions:
group about what makes the second version of the goal better.
• What makes you most excited about writing a SMART goal for your dream?
• In what ways was this activity difficult? In what ways was it easy?
4. Invite different groups to share one reason they think the second goal is better.
• What is something you might do differently the next time you write SMART goals?
• What is something you learned about SMART goals by either writing your own or helping someone else to write theirs?
5. Then, explain that the second versions of the goals (1B and 2B) are better because they are specific, measur-
able, achievable, realistic, and time-bound—a goal being SMART helps an individual to clearly discover about how
to reach that goal.
6. Distribute Handout 1: SMART Goals and review it with the students.
7. Direct the students’ attention to the second half of Handout 1 and ask them to rewrite the poorly written
goals so they are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.
8. Distribute Handout 2: A Recipe for SMART Goals which they can use to write the SMART goals.
9. Give them about 15 minutes to work, then ask each to share one of the goals s/he rewrote.
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1. Distribute Handout 3: My Surprising Future.

20 MINS
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FLIP CHART 1: WRITING A GOAL HANDOUT 1: SMART GOALS
gOAL 1A: S
Specific
What will happen?
Improve my English writing Weave a new blanket
skills
Become an Internet expert
I wANT TO STUDY AT A UNIVERSITY. M

Measurable Earn 10 more points on the Weave it by myself Take computer lessons two
How much will happen? English examination times a week
Achievable So I can travel abroad So I can have my own So I can get a job as a
A
gOAL 1B: Big but possible! business social media expert
Realistic I like speaking other lan- I want to work for I enjoy using the computer
I wILL STUDY AgRICULTURE AT UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES R
Important to me! guages myself
FOR AT LEAST TwO YEARS BY THE TIME I AM 22. T
Time-bound
When will the goal be
By the end of this term Within two months By next year
finished?
Fix these goals to make them SMART:
1. I will have better clothes.
2. I am going to get married.
gOAL 2A: 3. I will be a star football player.
I wANT A gOOD-PAYINg JOB. 4. I will start a business as a tailor or seamstress.
5. I am going to get better grades in school.
6. I want an awesome new bicycle.
gOAL 2B:
I wILL BE HIRED FOR A JOB THAT PAYS AT LEAST 60/HOUR
AT ONE OF THE FACTORIES IN THE CITY BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR.
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FLIP CHART 1: WRITING A GOAL HANDOUT 3: My SURPRISING FUTURE
Fill in the blanks to make a goal SMART. I am so excited because I have finally …
1.
Specific I will do what? I used to think this would never happen because …
Measurable How?
But one day a long time ago, I tried …
Achievable yES Realistic yES Time-bound By when?
2. Because of that …
Specific I will do what?
Measurable How? Then, because of that …

And because of that …
3.
Until finally …
Measurable How?
Achievable yES Realistic yES Time-bound By when? From now on, I will always …
4.
Measurable How?
5.
Measurable How?
6.
Measurable How?
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C8 TAKING ACTION STEPS
nO OnE knOWs what the future will hold and what challenges we will
really face as we try to reach our goal. But, if we have given it some thought ahead of
time, we might be more prepared when an upset or challenge occurs.The best place to
start to reach a goal is to know our assets. Once we know them, we can figure out what
else we need to be successful and we can also determine who can help us along the way.
Some goals, whether short or long term, may seem difficult to achieve, but if we can focus
on a few specific changes, we can make progress toward our goal. If we determine how
we’ll get those resources and a way to measure our success, we’ll have an action plan –
our own road map – to guide us to our goal.
OBJECTIVES
• Identify the importance of having a certain amount of detail in a plan of action.
• Define at least one short- and long-term goal related to their dreams.
• identify the specific knowledge, skills, and support they need to achieve long- and short-
term goals.
LIFE SKILLS
responsibility
MATERIALS
• Flip chart 1: Road Map 1 • Handout 2: My Plan of Action
• Flip chart 2: Road Map 2 • Short bond papers
• Flip chart 3: Problem Solving Steps (from • Markers
Session C5) • Crayons
• Handout 1: My Target Goal
DURATION
90 minutes
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TAKING ACTION STEPS FLAP A WING | PAGE 120 PAGE 121 | FLAP A WING TAKING ACTION STEPS
15 MINS 1. Display Flip Charts 1 and 2, which present two different interpretations of the same thing. 10 MINS 1. Lead a discussion using the following questions:
• Which section of your target did you have the most difficulty completing? Which was easiest?
2. Ask the students to identify the differences and similarities between the two road maps.
• What are some things you wrote in your target that you had not thought of at first?
• What did you write in your target that makes you most excited about reaching your goal?
3. Lead a discussion by using the following questions:
• Which map would give you more confidence?
• Which map would help you plan better?
The things you already know and the things you already have are your assets and resources. The best place to start to
• Which map would help you decide the supplies you need and how much they might cost?
reach a goal is to know your assets. Once you know them, you can figure out what else you need to be successful and
• When might Map 1 be better to use?
you can also determine who can help you along the way.
4. Introduce the session by saying that a certain amount of detail in a map helps a person to see the whole
person. Say that they will learn to make an action plan in order to achieve some of their personal goals.
25 MINS 1. Then distribute another copy of Handout 1 to each student.
1. Distribute a short bond paper and markers to each student. Ask them to make a “map” to achieve one aspect 2. This time, ask them to think of a goal that they might reasonably achieve this year.
30 MINS (intellectual/emotional/social/physical/spiritual) of his or her dream.
3. Instruct students to use the same process to complete their long-term target.
2. After students have had a chance to work for about 10 minutes, point to Flip Chart 3: Problem Solving Steps
4. After about 10 minutes, invite volunteers to share their goals and the activities to achieve them.
and encourage them to use it to help draw their map.
3. Ask three volunteers to share their map with the whole class. 5. Distribute Handout 2: My Plan of Action to each student.
4. Then lead a discussion using the following questions: 6. Ask students to summarize the work on their goal into a plan of action. Give them a few moments to
• What are the advantages of having a plan for one’s future?
transfer the information.
• What are some of the limitations to having a plan for the future?
• Which of the challenges you will face are similar to challenges other people might face?
7. After a few seconds, lead a discussion using the following questions:
• With all that you do now and all that you have accomplished in the past, what has made you successful? What has
• How might you use the Steps of Problem Solving to overcome challenges and obstacles?
enabled you to stay strong?
• Which of your assets or strategies can you count on using in the future?
5. Now distribute Handout 1: My Target Goal.
• What gives you the most hope that you will be able to reach your target goal?
• What are some of the ways you’ll know you have achieved your goal?
6. Tell the students that there are several things to keep in mind when making an action plan (e.g. making SMART
goals, knowing what they need and what they already have for the journey).
7. Ask them to look at their map and think about a specific goal they have for the next four months.
8. Next, let them think about what they could learn, what they would need and who could help them to achieve
that goal successfully within four months.
9. After about 10 minutes, invite volunteers to share their short-term goals and what they will learn, the skills
they will practice, and the people who can help.
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FLIP CHART 1: ROAD MAP 1 FLIP CHART 2: ROAD MAP 2
MY HOME
BUSY BEND
TROUBLE LAKE
FANCIFUL FERRY
MYSTERY MOUNTAINS
TOLL BRIDgE
RUSHINg RIVER
FOUR-MILE LOOP
THE BIg CITY
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HANDOUT 1: My TARGET GOAL HANDOUT 2: My PLAN OF ACTION
In four months In the next year 1. My GOAL 2. Is my goal SMART?

Specific (What will happen?)
Measurable (How much will happen?)
Achievable (Big but possible)
Realistic (Important to me)
Time-bound (When will the goal be finished?)
3. My assets 4. My needs
(Thing I know and skills I have) (Things to learn and skills to practice)
5. Steps to take 6. People who can help
(Ways to learn and practice)
7. Did I reach my goal?

(I’ll know I’ve been successful when...)
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C9 MANAGING TIME
MAny prOBLEMs of young people stem from the fact that they feel
bored from time to time or they feel frustrated that they are unable to do things in
their life as expected by others or fulfill their own desires.They find that they have lot of
time at some juncture and do not have time at all in other situations. Most of them are
familiar with the concept of time management and structuring of activities in school but
some either accept it passively or are actively involved in planning it but do not follow it.
In order to be effective, they have to know how to manage time, and for that they have
to know where they spend it. successful time management involves planning, following
the plan, reviewing its effectiveness, and making necessary changes every now and then.
OBJECTIVES
• Review the time spent by them on various activities over the day.
• Learn to prioritize their activities.
• Learn the value of time and how to spend it wisely.
• Understand strategies for time management.
LIFE SKILLS
decision making, self-awareness, critical thinking, coping with stress
planning & decision-making, sense of purpose, positive view of personal future
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Motivations
• Handout 1: Need To, Have To, Want To
• Handout 2: A Full Cup for Tomorrow
• Rocks about half the size of a fist
• Dry, clean sand
• Water
• Transparent liter-sized container
• Sheets of paper
DURATION
140 minutes
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MANAGING TIME FLAP A WING | PAGE 128 PAGE 129 | FLAP A WING MANAGING TIME
future; b) what we have to do because our body has to have it or someone expects us to do it; and c) what
1. Distribute a short bond paper to each student. we want to do because we like it, it is fun, or it is enjoyable.
20 MINS
2. Instruct the students to horizontally fold the paper and draw a circle on its lower half. 9. Instruct the students to look at their paper and decide whether each activity is something they need to do,
have to do, or want to do. Acknowledge that some activities may fit under one heading. Say that in order to
3. Ask them to divide the circle into 24 parts indicating 24 hours. decide which heading the activity fits best, they must think about what the activity means to them and why
they do it.
4. Have them write down various activities of their typical day in the upper half of the page, along with the
number of hours they spend on that particular activity.
• Which heading has the largest number of your activities and which has the fewest? Why do you think that is?
• Which of the three types of activities would you like to be doing more of?
5. Finally, ask them to transfer this information on to the circle blocking out time in sections (e.g. sleep: 8 hours
• Which activities prevented you from doing things you needed to do or had to do?
would be blocked out using 8 portions of the circle).
• Think about the goals you set the last time we met. Why is it important to be able to connect your activities to these
categories?
• What are the activities you would like to include but do not have the time to do?
• Do you feel dissatisfied with the amount of time you spend in any category (whether it is too much or too little)?
• Can you suggest any alternatives so that you can change what you don’t like?
• Should we allot time for studying every day and include it in our daily planning?
15 MINS 1. Gather everyone to sit in a circle.

2. Explain that people do an activity because of someone or something outside of us or whether it’s because
of something personal inside of us.
1. Place on the table’s surface the pile of rocks and the empty liter-sized container.
45 MINS 3. Display Flip Chart 1: Motivations and discuss the type of motivation that comes into play in several types
2. Start the activity by putting the rocks in the container one at a time. Tell the students to advise you when the of situations.
container is full.
4. Engage the students with the following questions:
• Which are things you would do because of a reason outside yourself?
3. Next, slowly pour the sand into the container with the rocks. Gently shake and tap the container so the sand
• Which might be for your own personal reasons?
can sift down and around the rocks. Again, tell the students to advise you when the container is full.
• Why is it important to do some things for personal reasons?
• Why would you do something because someone else wanted it?
4. Lastly, pour the water into the container. Tap the sides so that the air bubbles out and the water seeps in. For
• What are some things you can do to be more motivated and do more of the things that are important to you?
the last time, ask the students if the container is already full.
5. Ask the class to explain why you were still able to put more sand or water into the container despite the fact
To move toward your goal, you will have to make sure your days do not get so filled with the things you have to do that
that they’ve been telling you it was full. Ask further: What if I wanted to fill the empty container with all these
there isn’t room for the things you must do. And you can’t just do what you want to do all the time or you would not fulfill
ingredients but I had started with water, what would have happened when I wanted to add sand and rocks?
your responsibilities to other people or to your future. Remember that you can do more of some things and less of others
to manage your time. Being clear about why you do all your daily activities is an important step in keeping your ‘container’
6. Explain to the students that in the activity, the rocks represented the big, important, or long-range things they
from overflowing!”
wanted to do; the sand might stand for the things they have to do every day; and the water might stand for the
things they want and like to do.
7. Inform the students that they are going to learn about how to manage their time by figuring out which of their
responsibilities are rocks, which are sand, and which are water. End the activity by saying:
If you fill your day with water – all the things you want and like to do – you won’t have room or time to do the things that
you have to do or any of the long-range things for your future. Similarly, if you do the things you have to do, you’ll have some 20 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 2: A Full Cup for Tomorrow and ask students to answer the worksheet by writing the
things they will be doing in the next day.
time left to fill in with things you want and like but you won’t make any progress doing things for your long-range future. But, if
you begin with some of the big things, your long-range future, you can still do most of what you have to do, as well as some
of the things you want and like.
2. Tell them to consider which are the activities they ‘Need to’ do, ‘Have to’ do, and ‘Want to’ do.
3. Ask them to write the word ‘Outside’ next to the items they will be doing for outside reasons, and ‘Inside’
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8. Distribute Handout 1: Need To, Have To, Want To. Tell the students that most of the things they do every day
can probably fit into a few basic categories: a) what we need to do because it will help us reach a goal in the next to the items they will be doing for inside reasons.
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MANAGING TIME FLAP A WING | PAGE 130 PAGE 131 | FLAP A WING MANAGING TIME
FLIP CHART 1: MOTIVATIONS HANDOUT 1: NEED TO, HAVE TO, WANT TO
Think carefully about the things you have done in the last day or so. Put each activity under the heading that
best describes why you do it. Some activities may fit under more than one heading but choose the one you think
is the best.
RELATIONSHIP
WE ARE MORE LIKELy TO DO SOMETHING TO BE PART OF A GROUP. NEED TO The HAVE TO WANT TO
Rocks Activities for The Sand Activities The Water
my future or to reach I’m told to do or must Activities that I like
my dream get done and choose for myself
MEANINg
WE ARE MORE LIKELy TO DO SOMETHING IF IT HAS MEANING
FOR US OR IS CONNECTED TO A SENSE OF PURPOSE.
CHOICES
WE ARE MORE LIKELy TO DO SOMETHING WHEN
IT IS OUR OWN CHOICE TO DO IT.
ABILITY
WE ARE MORE LIKELy TO DO SOMETHING IF
WE HAVE THE SKILL AND CONFIDENCE TO DO IT.
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MANAGING TIME FLAP A WING | PAGE 132
HANDOUT 2: A FULL CUP FOR TOMORROW
How will you fill your cup over the next 24 hours? List all the activities that you think you will be doing
during the next day, beginning at the end of this class and continuing until you go to bed tomorrow night.
My Activities
sectionFOUR
from thoughts to words
What will you do to make sure you fulfill your responsibilities and that your cup does not overflow?
• Draw a star next to something positive or good that you would like to do more.
• Put an “X” next to something that you could do less of because it is a waste of time.
• Put an “R” next to at least one activity that is a Rock, an activity you “Need To” do for your future.
• Put a “C” next to at least one activity that you have some choice about even if it is something you “Have
To” do. Use your Head, Heart, Hands, and Hopes to help you decide.
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D1 ACTIVE LISTENING
LIsTEnIng Is An IMpOrTAnT but often taken-for-granted part
of communicating. Listening involves both hearing the message correctly and interpreting
it in the way it was intended by the speaker. Being an effective listener means providing
feedback to the speaker either non-verbally (e.g., head nods, facial expressions) or
through the use of verbal uh-huhs.This lets the other person know that we are attending
to what s/he is saying.When we are listening to someone, we have to watch and pay
attention; when we are speaking, we have to make sure the other person is ready to
listen and we have to say things gently so they can ‘catch’ what we are saying. Active
listening helps us improve communication for ourselves and others.
OBJECTIVES
• Describe basic attitudes for listeners and speakers that make for successful
communication.
• Identify ways on how to show a person they are listening.
• Improve their effective listening skills.

LIFE SKILLS
effective communication, interpersonal relationship
caring, interpersonal competence
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: Show You are Listening
• Trainer Material 1: Demonstration Cards
• Flip chart papers
• 4 to 6 balls
DURATION
90 minutes
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ACTIVE ISTENING FLAP A WING | PAGE 136 PAGE 137 | FLAP A WING ACTIVE LISTENING
• Movement: Does the listener use hand gestures or facial expressions?

• Focus: How does the listener deal with interruptions?
1. Invite students to form a circle, with all of them standing.
25 MINS Note: This activity works best with a circle of seven to 12 students. It takes longer when there are more than 20 in the circle
• Emotions: How does the listener react to your feelings?
• Voice: What words or sounds does the listener make?
so divide a large group accordingly. For groups smaller than seven, you can also participate.
2. Give the instructions to the students: 3. Distribute one flip chart to each group and have them draw a picture of what a good listener does.
• Everyone please raise your hand.
• When you get the ball, find someone across the circle with his/her hand up and toss it to him/her.
4. When all groups have finished working, ask groups to share their flip charts and allow the rest of the class
• When you’ve received the ball, put your hand down so we know that you’ve had a turn.
to make guesses.
• Remember who tossed it to you, and to whom you tossed it.
5. Suffice the discussion with the following questions (only if these were not included in the presentation):
• Body: In some places, people stand face-to-face to show good listening. In others, touching is important. What is
3. Hand a ball to someone to begin. When everyone has received the ball, tell them to send the ball around again
expected here in your community? Is it different when people are of the opposite gender or of very different ages?
reversing the pattern. Encourage them to remember who tossed the ball to them and whom they passed it along
• Eyes: Where should a good listener look? Are listeners more respectful when they look directly at you or when they look
to.
somewhere else?
• Movement: What are some specific gestures that show good listening? Is it possible for listeners to overreact to what
4. When the students quickly remember the pattern, give them more of a challenge and see how quickly they can
they are hearing?
toss the ball through the pattern without dropping it. This time, tell them you are going to add a second and a
• Focus: For some, taking notes shows good listening. For others, it’s all right to talk to another person for a few minutes.
third ball once the first ball starts out.
Some people think it’s OK to use a cellphone while listening to you. What’s OK for you?
• Emotions: How do you know the listener understands your feelings? How important is this for you as someone who
5. Begin with one ball and after it has been tossed to the third person, start another ball. Wait a moment, then
wants to be heard?
start a third ball.
• Voice: What things would someone say that would show she or he is a great listener? What are some sounds a good
listener makes that are not words?
6. When the cycle has been completed, ask:
• What difficulties or challenges did you have?
• What could we do to make sure the ball doesn’t get dropped?
6. Ask some general questions about effective listening:
• Which of these listening skills do you think is most important?
• Which do you think are most difficult to remember to do?
7. Challenge the class to do it once more with more balls in play. Have them begin again but use between four

• What is a listening skill that you might like to try more often?
and six balls.
• Why is it important that we use these skills of effective listening?
8. When the cycle has finished, congratulate the students and ask them to think differently what you have been
doing. Ask: 7. Distribute Handout 1: Show you Are Listening. Explain each of the suggestions to show a person they are
What if we thought about this activity as being like communication – the way we talk to and listen to each other. If we think
listening well.
of the balls being tossed around our group as being like a message spoken from one person to another, how would you
describe some of the things you saw going on?
9. Finally, say:
This activity is a lot like communication. When you are listening to someone, you have to watch and pay attention. When you
are speaking, you have to make sure the other person is ready to listen and you have to say things gently so they can ‘catch’
1. Read a statement from the following list in any order. Ask them to think which listening method you are
15 MINS using:
what you are saying. Today we’ll learn several ways to make sure our communication is positive and effective.
• I appreciate hearing what you have to say. (Encourage)
• What’s been on your mind lately? (Encourage)
• That probably made you upset, right? (Feelings)
• It sounds like you’re feeling a little depressed. (Feelings)
• Can you explain more of what you meant by … (Clarify)
• I’m not sure I understood that; can you say it again? (Clarify)
30 MINS 1. Ask the students to think about what it’s like to be speaking with a friend they know well who really listens to • What were you thinking when … (Questions)
them. Give them a moment to think how does that friend show that s/he has heard and fully understood what
• How did you respond to what she told you about … (Questions)
they were saying.
• After all that happened, you couldn’t think of anything else to say and that’s why she’s so angry with you.
(Summarize)
2. Ask the students to form groups of three to four and discuss how they think a listener shows s/he is paying
• So because you tried many different things during the past week that didn’t work out as you planned, you’ve
attention by observing his/her:
been feeling very frustrated. (Summarize)
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• Body: How does the listener sit or stand and how close?
• Eyes: Where does the listener look?
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ACTIVE ISTENING FLAP A WING | PAGE 138 PAGE 139 | FLAP A WING ACTIVE LISTENING
HANDOUT 1: SHOW yOU ARE LISTENING

2. Wait for students to tell you the answer, then ask one or two student volunteers to make up a similar
statement of their own.
Here are some things you can say that will show the person you are listening well.
ENCOURAgE
20 MINS 1. First, demonstrate what the students will do. Show them a set of cards (Refer to Trainer Material 1: Be friendly, warm, and patient with the person. Remember, when you have something important to say,
Demonstration Cards). Shuffle the cards and put them face down. Draw a card and then act out what it says. you really want to be heard.
Example: “I’m really glad you came to talk to me.”
2. Invite the group to guess the listening skill you are trying to show.
3. Return the card to the bottom of the pile it came from. FEELINgS
Describe the feelings you are hearing and ask the person to confirm whether you have heard them right.
4. Match each student with a partner and give him/her a set of cards. Example: “Sounds like you’re feeling pretty worried about this whole thing, is that true?”
5. Have the other partner first do what you demonstrated earlier, and the other one.
6. After five minutes, have a short discussion:

CLARIFY
Make sure you understand the person’s meaning or their use of different words.
• Which cards were most difficult to act out? Example: “If I understand right, you’re saying...” or “Tell me what you mean by…”
• Which were the easiest?
• What are the most comfortable ways for you to show someone that you are listening?
• What else can you do that we have not talked about to show you are listening? QUESTIONS
Ask questions that cannot be answered with one word, especially with yes or no. If you begin questions
with do, does, did, is, was, were you are likely to get a yes or no response. If you do get a one-
word response, use follow-up questions.

Example: “How did you feel when…” or “Tell me more about…”
SUMMARIzE
Bring together the related ideas you heard and state a conclusion. Let the person tell you whether your
conclusion is correct.
Example: “So, since you’ve been very responsible in the past, you think your parents should let you go to
the party.”
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ACTIVE LISTENING FLAP A WING | PAGE 140
D2 POSITIVE COMMUNICATION
TRAINER MATERIAL 1: DEMONSTRATION CARDS
EvEnTHOUgH there are only one or two words being spoken, things can still
become confusing.And sometimes even having good listening skills is not enough because
Print one sheet for each pair of participants. Cut them apart on the dotted lines.
other things ‘get in the way.’ The actions of other people, as well as our own emotions,
can make communication confusing. Each culture has a preference for communicating in
SHOw THAT YOU ARE SHOw THAT YOU ARE a way that is either more direct or more indirect. However, as individuals we each have
a preference even within our culture. When we know more about direct and indirect
INTERESTED CONFUSED communication, we can begin to take control of how we communicate to make a more
positive outcome Being able to tell whether someone is speaking to you directly or
SHOw THAT YOU ARE SHOw THAT YOU ARE indirectly also increases our ability to communicate effectively.
CURIOUS HAPPY
SHOw THAT YOU CARE SHOw THAT YOU ARE

HOPEFUL OBJECTIVES
• List barriers to effective communication.
SHOw THAT YOU ARE SHOw THAT YOU ARE • Learn positive communication techniques.
wORRIED SURPRISED

LIFE SKILLS
effective communication, interpersonal relationship, creative thinking
SHOw THAT YOU ARE SHOw THAT YOU ARE
EXCITED PEACEFUL DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
self-esteem, interpersonal competence
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: Direct and Indirect Communication
• Handout 2: I Statements
• Handout 3: Communication Plan
• Handout 4: I Statement Practice
• Old newspapers
• Adhesive tape
DURATION
90 minutes
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POSITIVE COMMUNICATION FLAP A WING | PAGE 142 PAGE 143 | FLAP A WING POSITIVE COMMUNICATION
30 MINS 1. Divide the students into two groups. Have each group take at least 25 pages of old newspaper and tape. 1. Ask the class to choose one person in their family or one of their friends with whom they have challenges
15 MINS and notice how they communicate with this person.
2. Explain that the purpose of the game is to build a bridge, with each group building half of it. Neither group
should see the other while building its half, and the two groups won’t communicate directly. 2. Distribute Handout 3: Communication Plan and have each student decide how and when to use a style of
communication to improve their relationship with this person.
3. Ask group members to choose one person to be its communicator who, by going only twice to the other group,
will give the other group information about how his or her group is building its half. S/he has to communicate 3. Summarize the learning by saying:
using words only and without using her hands in any way. To make communication more positive, it’s helpful to separate your feelings from the person’s behavior. Sometimes we
feel strong emotions because of what someone says or does. We might then respond with a strong statement of our
4. After finishing the bridge, call the two groups to get together in order to see whether the bridges are own. Emotions can confuse the communication. If the listener realizes you are angry, they might not want to listen. If you
compatible. are angry, you might not choose the best words to communicate your message. Remember, we want to use words and
ways of communicating that help make our listener want to listen to our important message.
5. Ask the following questions to help students understand the importance and challenges of communication:
• How similar are the two halves?
• What are the differences between the two halves, and how could the method of communication have influenced this?
• What are the challenges of this communication?
• How could the result have been better?
• What problems might happen in real life when there is a miscommunication?
15 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 4: I Statement Practice, which has several examples of situations, and ask students to
invent an ‘I Statement’ about them.
30 MINS 1. Distribute Handout 1: Direct and Indirect Communication. Discuss the two different styles of communication:
direct, when the person’s ideas, feelings, wants, needs, and requests are stated very simply; and indirect, when
the person’s ideas, feelings, wants, needs, and requests are stated in a way that is much less to the point.

2. Read the following statements and ask the students to determine whether each statement is more direct or
more indirect.
• May I have some tea? (Direct)
• A cup of tea always warms me up. (Indirect)
• Why didn’t you do your chores? (Direct)
• Some people must have been too busy to work around the house. (Indirect)
• I don’t like her dress. (Direct)
• My, the styles sure have changed recently. (Indirect)
3. Tell the class that as individuals, we each have a preference even within our culture but being able to tell
whether someone is speaking directly or indirectly increases our ability to communication effectively.
4. Introduce the concept of using ‘I Statements’ for effective communication by asking how could they get their
siblings to help with chores without causing an argument.
5. After a few students have answered, distribute Handout 2: I Statements .
6. Discuss how people’s feelings make communication complicated at times. Tell the students that they can have
more positive communication by making an ‘I Statement.’
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HANDOUT 1: DIRECT & INDIRECT COMMUNICATION HANDOUT 2: I STATEMENTS
THE FORMAT:
“When ,
STyLE DESCRIPTION ADVANTAGES POSSIBLE WHEN TO USE (Describe the situation; what you observed)
PROBLEMS
I feel .
When under time (Describe your own feelings using feeling words)
Ideas, feelings, Gives an Hurting the feelings pressure
wants, needs, and opportunity to of other people I would like .
requests are stated get things done In an emergency (Request something from the other person)
DIRECT simply, bluntly, quickly Not showing enough
OK?”
to the point, with Leaves little room respect, especially When it is culturally
fewer words to elders acceptable to use this (Make sure there is understanding. Be open to new ideas.)
for confusion style
WHERE THINGS GO WRONG:
1. Often “descriptions” of the situation are really evaluations or subjective judgments about the other
Ideas, feelings, Misunderstanding of When there is more person. For example, “When you leave the kitchen a mess…” is an evaluation. But, “When the dirty
wants, needs, Gives an what the person than one correct action breakfast dishes are left in the sink…” is an observation.
and requests are opportunity really wants, needs, or
stated roundabout, for people to or feels answer 2. We often don’t express a feeling after we say, “I feel.” For example, “I feel this is stupid,” or “I feel like
INDIRECT less to the point, disagree, be you don’t care,” or even “I feel you lack some skills to do the job,” are not feeling statements. Other
more like a hint polite, be wrong, The need for When direct statements judgments we might confuse with emotions are: “I feel betrayed,” or “I feel misunderstood.” Saying “I feel

or suggestion, not or save face practice to interpret are culturally betrayed,” is really saying, “you betrayed me.” The feeling underneath this statement might be anger or
specifically stated statements inappropriate hurt.
3. We often think we are making a request, when we are really making a demand. When we make a
request, the other person is always free to say yes or no to it.
If I am bothered, it is my problem.
If you are bothered, it is your problem.
If we care about each other’s feelings, it is our problem.
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HANDOUT 3: COMMUNICATION PLAN HANDOUT 4: I STATEMENT PRACTICE

Read each situation. Decide what the problem is and what your feelings might be. Then write an “I Statement.”
TyPE OF A TIME I COULD USE IT A SITUATION WHEN I MIGHT 1. Suppose a neighbor had promised to help take care of a garden you share but never did any work.
COMMUNICATION TRy IT The problem:
your feelings:
I Statement:
When
I feel
I would like
OK?
DIRECT 2. Suppose a friend of yours stopped a boy from teasing and bullying a small child.
The problem:
your feelings:
I Statement:
When
I feel
I would like
OK?
3. Suppose your mother had said you could go out with friends but later said you had to stay home and take
care of your younger sister.
The problem:
your feelings:

I Statement:
INDIRECT When
I feel
I would like
OK?
4. Suppose your brother or sister told another person to stop kicking a dog.
The problem:
your feelings:
I Statement:
When
I feel
I would like
OK?
I STATEMENTS 5. Suppose a friend agreed to meet you one evening but never showed up and you were left alone.
The problem:
your feelings:
I Statement:
When
I feel
I would like
OK?
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D3 CONFLICT RESOLUTION
WHEn FACEdWITH A COnFLICT situation, many of us begin
to feel uncomfortable about what to do. sometimes we will try to avoid the issue and
hope it will go away. However, conflict situations seldom go away on their own, or at least
not often enough. In addition, while we may be successful in avoiding dealing with the
situation, the issues themselves remain. gradually more issues are stored up. Identifying
interests and positions is one strategy that helps us see more possible solutions to
problems or conflict, so that we can find one that is acceptable for everyone.When we
can hear the interests that are important to other people, we might be able to get past
positions and discover solutions we didn’t expect.
OBJECTIVES
• Identify at least one strategy to turn problems into opportunities.
• Learn how to solve conflicts through a peaceful approach.
• Get to workable solutions in a conflict.

LIFE SKILLS
effective communication, interpersonal relationship, coping with emotion, problem solving
caring, restraint, interpersonal competence, peaceful conflict resolution
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Interests and Positions
• Flip Chart 2: Tough Issues
DURATION
80 minutes
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CONFLICT RESOLUTION FLAP A WING | PAGE 150 PAGE 151 | FLAP A WING CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1. Ask: What are some examples of possible conflict in your lives, where it might be helpful to focus on
15 MINS 1. Start the activity by inviting the students to stand up and place their hands in front of their chest, palm to
palm. 10 MINS interests instead of positions? Be prepared to share some examples:
• An argument with a parent about which chores to do (or when to do them).
2. Instruct the students that in the count of three, they should push their right palm forcefully against their left • A disagreement with friends about whose turn it is to buy ice cream or sodas.
palm. • Confronting a younger sister or brother who uses your things without asking.
• Needing a computer for school studies, using a second-hand, older model vs. wanting the new model
3. After five seconds, stop the activity and ask the students whether their palms ended up on the left side of
their bodies or remained in the middle of their bodies. Say: If your palms remained in the middle, it must mean 2. Summarize by saying:
that your left palm pushed back. Why do you think this happened when it was not part of the instructions? It can be hard to separate interests from positions and to tell them apart. Remember, your interest is what you care
about most. Your position is what you think should or must or ought to happen. Sometimes they are not quite the same
4. Listen to a few answers, then explain that the activity is really about what happened with their left palm, thing. When you can identify the differences between interests and positions, it becomes easier to see a solution.
which they automatically resist when they felt it was being pushed or pressured by the right palm.
5. Explain that this type of resistance occurs in many other situations. Say:
When you can’t get what you want, other people may push back. When other people ask you to do things you
don’t want to do, you probably push back.
25 MINS 1. Write the following statements on the board:
6. Invite students to give other examples of situations when people push against each other. Introduce today’s • Students should always do their homework before meeting their friends.
session by telling that they are going to identify some new ways of responding in these situations. • Youth should always do what their parents tell them to do.
• Students should never question their teachers.
• Once you are married you should never divorce.
• The man should always be the head of the house.
2. Ask the students if they agree or disagree with the following issues. Choose one issue where the number
30 MINS 1. In the next activity, explain that you will talk about the difference between interests and positions, and how of students who agree and students who disagree is equal.
interests tend to be forgotten in conflict situation. Tell them that finding common interests with others can create

win-win solutions, solutions where the outcomes are good for everyone. 3. Next, divide the students into groups of four with people from both sides of the issue.
2. Share the following story: 4. Ask them to share their views and explain what their interests are. Tell them try not to use words like
A girl complains that her father is making her life difficult because he wants her to come home directly after school. She ‘should,’ ‘must,’ or ‘ought to’ since those usually signal a position; use the word ‘want’ instead.
would rather go to the youth center with her friends. She says that she must have the chance to make her own decisions
without her father. Her father says that she should be home right after school to do chores around the house and help cook 5. When the time is up, ask one representative from one point of view to restate the interests of the
dinner. He says that she is being selfish and that a daughter should obey her father. The girl and her father are now in a opposing point of view. Invite a representative from the opposite point of view to do likewise. Ask:
situation where they are pushing against each other. They are in conflict and unless something changes, one will win and the • What ideas were new to you?
other will lose. • What surprised you about the interests of the other group?
• What new solutions are suggested by what you heard from the other group?
3. Given the points stated below, now ask the students: What do you think should the father and the daughter do
to resolve the conflict?
• The position for each of them is different (what they think must happen): The girl has taken the position that she should be
able to make her own decisions. The father has taken the position that his daughter should do what he says.
• They have some interests that are similar (what they hope will happen): Both want to have a clean house. Both want a good
meal at dinnertime. Both want to see the girl grow and take on more responsibilities.
4. Display Flip Chart 1: Interests and Positions. Tell the class that finding common interests with others help solve
a conflict, and in discovering interests that they share, they must try to imagine what they both really care about
and would like to have happen together.
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CONFLICT RESOLUTION FLAP A WING | PAGE 152
D4 LEARNING TO SAY NO
FLIP CHART 1: INTERESTS AND POSITIONS
BEIng An AdOLEsCEnT is not always easy. In fact, teenagers are
often faced with very complicated and important decisions. Many of them want to say
‘no’ to peer pressure, but a desire to look cool or the lack of assertiveness prevents them
from doing so. sometimes they say ‘yes’ to others because they want to please them. But
INTEREST
WHAT THE PERSON REALLy CARES ABOUT DEEP DOWN
when eventually they can’t continue, they let them down and we feel guilty; both parties
suffer.Thus, teenagers must know that they have a right to say no and recognize that a
desire to please people often prevents them from saying no. Learning how to say no can
be hard, but it’s something that can really help them be more productive, reduce stress
and do a better job with the things they do say yes to.
POSITION
WHAT THE PERSON THINKS MUST OR OUGHT TO HAPPEN
OBJECTIVES
• Differentiate passive, aggressive, and assertive behaviors.
• Formulate and deliver assertive messages for a variety of situations.
• Identify possible responses to persuasion.
• List the steps for responding assertively to a persuasive message.

LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, coping with emotions, creative thinking, coping with stress
integrity, restraint, resistance skill, safety
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Attack and Avoid
• Flip Chart 2: Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
• Flip Chart 3: Steps to Deliver an Assertive Message
• Flip Chart 4: Revised Steps to Deliver an Assertive Message
• Handout 1: Steps to Deliver an Assertive Message
• Trainer Material 1: Persuasion Categories
• Trainer Material 2: Persuasive Messages
• Trainer Material 3: Resisting Pressure
DURATION
150 minutes
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LEARNING TO SAY NO FLAP A WING | PAGE 154 PAGE 155 | FLAP A WING LEARNING TO SAY NO
10. Hand one persuasive message to each student and ask him/her tape the statement to the wall
underneath an appropriate category. The correct answers are stated below:
20 MINS 1. Explain to students how our body language can influence other people’s responses to us. • Put you Down: You’re just afraid. / Aren’t you grown up enough to do this?
• Argue: Why not? Everyone’s doing it! / What do you think can happen?
2. Now ask students to divide into pairs. Tell them they are going to do an activity that may develop their asser- • Threaten: Do it or goodbye. / I’ll find someone else who will. / I can hurt you if you don’t.
tiveness skill. • No Problem: Nothing will go wrong. / Don’t worry. / I’ll take care of everything. / I’ve got it all handled.
• Reasons: But we’re getting married anyway. / You can’t get pregnant if you have it just once. / You owe me. / You’re old
3. Ask one from the pair to act as the aggressive person and the other as the assertive person; tell them they enough now.
are going to switch roles after the first task. Give the instructions: • Getting Off the Topic: You have nice eyes. / I like you when you’re angry. / You know that I love you.
• The aggressive must hold his/her hands up in a very tight fist and feel very angry.
• Using all the skills of the assertive, s/he must persuade or convince the aggressive to calm down and to open his/her fists. 11. When the different statements are on their appropriate categories and the class seems to understand the
• Both must not touch each other, but the assertive can say or do anything that s/he thinks will work to calm down the idea of persuasion, ask:
aggressive and persuade him/her. • What do you say when someone tries to get you off the topic?
• If the aggressive thinks that the assertive have done a good enough job, s/he may open his/her fists. • What do you say when someone tries to persuade you (change your mind, convince you)?
4. Give the pairs eight minutes each to try out their assertiveness skills on each other. 12. Note their responses and help the class to group them into three categories:
• Refuse: Say no clearly and firmly, and if necessary, leave.
5. See by a show of hands how many students managed to persuade their partners to open their fists. • Delay: Put off a decision until you can think about it.
• Bargain: Try to make a decision that both people can accept.
13. Display Flip Chart 4: Revised Steps to Deliver an Assertive Message. Go step–by–step through the process
and point out the changes made to the original steps to include the response to persuasion.
60 MINS 1. Show Flip Chart 1: Attack and Avoid and read down from the first column to the second. Point out to everyone 14. Use the following situation to develop assertive messages with the whole class:
that the words you read first are attacking behaviors and the second list are avoiding behaviors. You are alone with your boyfriend at his house. It is getting late and he lives quite a distance from your home on a
deserted road. He is usually very gentle but tonight he has been drinking beer. He becomes quiteaggressive with his
2. Ask students to reflect for a moment about which set of behaviors they engage in more often than others. demands for sex. He interrupts you and tries to talk you into having sex.
Then ask them to think of one personal reason why they would behave in an attacking or avoiding way.

15. Explain to students that the situation is a potentially dangerous one if they just simply refuse. Ask what
3. Tell students that you call the attacking behaviors ‘aggressive’ and the avoiding behaviors ‘passive’. else they could do and which the safest course of action is. Some ideas might include:
• If his parents are coming home soon, you might use delaying tactics until they arrive.
4. Now ask students which type of behavior is better. Allow the answers to lead you to the idea of assertive- • You might bargain with him by indicating that you might consider being with him sexually soon, but only if he does not
ness. Tell the class that it is not necessary for someone to attack or avoid, but it is possible to reach a balance approach you when he is drinking.
between those two behaviors. • You might delay by discussing the fact that he is drinking and the effect that seems to be having on his behavior.
• You might bargain with him to lie in bed while you “get read”; then stay in the toilet until he falls asleep.
5. Show Flip Chart 2: Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive and discuss the difference among the three terms. • If you are feeling in danger, you might pretend to go to the toilet, but run to a neighbor instead.
6. Then show Flip Chart 3: Steps to Deliver an Assertive Message. Use the following scenario to develop assertive
messages with the whole class as you go step-by-step through the process:
Aaron and Frank are good friends. Aaron has a part–time job and he has loaned money to Frank on several occasions. Lately
Aaron has noticed that Frank is becoming slower to pay the money back. Aaron decides to discuss this matter with Frank and
to ask Frank to pay the money back sooner. 1. Now distribute Handout 1: 10 Ways of Saying NO. Elaborate a little on each point. State that since
30 MINS different situations need to be met in a different way, numerous ways of saying NO are discussed.
7. Indicate to the class that they will take a look at different ways people might try to get them off their topic
or refuse to accept their assertive message. 2. Tell students to think of all the ways on how to refuse, bargain, or delay that they learned today. Think
about one situation where they can use each way and write them in their notebooks.
8. Point to the persuasion categories at different points along the board or wall that you prepared beforehand
(Refer to Trainer Material 1: Persuasion Categories). Review each card and discuss how people can use the 3. Summarize the learning by saying:
technique to convince, persuade, or distract them from assertive messages. We must be able to say NO when we feel that we are being pressurized to do something against our wishes or some
thing which is not right. We must keep practicing various techniques to say NO to get us out of difficult situations.
9. Next, ask volunteers to identify on which category the sample persuasive messages do belong to. (Refer to
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Trainer Material 2: Persuasive Messages).
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FLIP CHART 1: ATTACK AND AVOID

35 MINS 1.Pressure).
Divide the class into five groups, and assign one role play to each (Refer to Trainer Material 3: Resisting
2. Ask each group to enact their play. Give them 8-10 minutes to prepare and 5 minutes each group to present.
3. Explain that pressure and abuse can be faced by anyone; thus it is best to be prepared in advance to deal
with such situations. Tell the students that if their friends were so concerned about their feelings, they would not
be forcing them to do or take part in certain acts. Remind them that their values, morals, and good habits will be
their lifelong friends.
ATTACKINg AVOIDINg
Nagging Withdrawal
Shouting Sulking in silence
Persisting (I am right!) Taking it out on the wrong person Saying
Revenge (I’ll get you back) that you are being unfairly treated Talking
Warning (If you don’t…) behind someone’s back
Interrupting Feeling ill
Exploding Being polite but feeling angry
Sarcastic Feeling low and depressed
Insulting Not wanting to hurt the other person
Correcting Trying to forget about the problem

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FLIP CHART 1: PASSIVE, AGGRESSIVE, ASSERTIVE FLIP CHART 3: STEPS TO DELIVER AN ASSERTIVE MESSAGE
PASSIVE BEHAVIOR STEPS WORDS yOU MIGHT USE

• Giving in to the will of others; hoping to get what you want without actually having to say it; 1. Explain your feelings and the problem • “I feel frustrated when …”
leaving it to others to guess or letting them decide for you • “I feel unhappy when …”
• Taking no action to assert your own rights • “I feel … when …”
• Putting others first at your expense • “It hurts me when …”
• “I don’t like it when …”
• Giving in to what others want
2. Get back on topic • “Please let me finish what I was saying.”
• Remaining silent when something bothers you • “I’d like you to listen to what I have to say …”
• Apologizing a lot
3. Make your request • “I would like it better if …”
• Acting submissive—for example: talking quietly, laughing nervously, sagging shoulders, avoiding • “I would like you to …”
disagreement, hiding face with hands • “Could you please …”
• “Please don’t …”
• “I wish you would …”
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR 4. Ask how the other person feels about your • “How do you feel about that?”
• Telling someone exactly what you want in a way that does not seem rude or threatening to them request • “Is that okay with you?”
• Standing up for your own rights without putting down the rights of others • “What do you think?”
• “Is that all right with you?”
• Respecting yourself as well as the other person
• Listening and talking
• Expressing positive and negative feelings
• Being confident, but not “pushy”

• Staying balanced—knowing what you want to say; saying “I feel” not “I think”; being specific;
using “I” statements; talking face–to–face with the person; no whining or sarcasm; using body
language that shows you are standing your ground, and staying centered
AggRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
• Expressing your feelings, opinions, or desires in a way that threatens or punishes the other
person
• Standing up for your own rights with no thought for the other person
• Putting yourself first at the expense of others
• Overpowering others
• Reaching your own goals, but at the sake of others
• Dominating behaviors—for example: shouting, demanding, not listening to others; saying others
are wrong; leaning forward; looking down on others; wagging or pointing finger at others;
threatening; or fighting.
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FLIP CHART 4: REVISED STEPS TO DELVIER ASSERTIVE MESSAGE HANDOUT 1: 10 WAYS OF SAYING ‘NO’
STEPS WORDS yOU MIGHT USE METHODS PERSUADER DECIDER

1. Explain your feelings and the problem • “I feel frustrated when …” 1. Polite refusal “Can I get you a drink?” “No, thank you.”
• “I feel unhappy when …” 2. Give reason “How about a beer?” “I don’t like beer”
• “I feel … when …” “I am taking medicine and my doctor
• “It hurts me when …” told me not to drink alcohol.”
• “I don’t like it when …”
2. Distracting statements Other person tries to get you off topic. 3. Be firm “Here, smoke this cigarette “No, thanks.”
with me.”
3. Get back on topic • “Please let me finish what I was saying.” “Come on!” “No, thanks.”
• “I’d like you to listen to what I have to say …” “Just try it.” “No, thanks.”
4. Make your request • “I would like it better if …” 4. Walk away “Hey, do you want to buy Say “No” and walk away after you
• “I would like you to …” some gins?” say it.
• “Could you please …” 5. Cold shoulder “Do you want to smoke?” Keep going as if you did not hear the
• “Please don’t …” person.
• “I wish you would …”
6. Give an alternative “Let’s go upstairs to my “I’d rather stay here and watch T.V.”
5. Ask how the other person feels about • “How do you feel about that?” room.”
your request • “Is that okay with you?”
• “What do you think?” 7. Reverse the pressure “Come upstairs with me.” “What did I just tell you? Were you
• “Is that all right with you?” listening?”
6. Persuasive statement Other person tries to get you to change your mind. 8. Avoid the situation - If you know of people or situations
7. REFUSE • “No, I really mean no.” where people will pressurize you to
do things you don’t want to do, stay

• “No, and I’m leaving.” away from these situations.
• “No, I am not going to do that.”
9. Strength in numbers - Stay with people who are like-minded
DELAy • “I’m not ready now—maybe later.” and who support your decision to not
• “Maybe we can talk later.” drink, use drugs, etc.
• “I’d like to talk to a friend.” 10. Own your feeling - “I am not comfortable doing this.”
“It makes me unhappy.”
BARGAIN • “Let’s do … instead.”
• “How about if we try …”
• “What would make us both happy?”
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TRAINER MATERIAL 1: PERSUASION CATEGORIES TRAINER MATERIAL 2: PERSUASIN MESSAGES

Cut on the dotted lines and place the statements on the board or on any wall in the classroom before the start of the
session.
“You’re just afraid.”
“you owe me.”
A g REE “Why not? Everyone’s doing it!”
“What do you think can happen?”
“you know that I love you.”
NO PROBLEM “Do it or goodbye.”

“I’ll find someone else who will.”
“I can hurt you if you don’t.”
PUT YOU DO w N “Nothing will go wrong.”

“Don’t worry.”

“I’ll take care of everything.”
“I’ve got it all handled.”
RE A SONS “Aren’t you grown up enough to do this?”
“You can’t get pregnant if you just have it once.”
“But we’re getting married anyway.”
THRE ATEN “You’re old enough now.”
“you have nice eyes.”
“I like you when you’re angry.”
g ET TIN g OFF THE TOPIC “What do you know about...anyway?”
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LEARNING TO SAY NO FLAP A WING | PAGE 164
D5 PUBLIC SPEAKING
TRAINER MATERIAL 3: RESISTING PRESSURE
• Malvin is being pressured into smoking by his friends. How can he get out of the situation? As grOWIng IndIvIdUALs, teenagers sometimes encounter
issues in their small communities. It is important that they know how to have a stand
• Michelle has come to the park with her boyfriend Prince. He is asking her to kiss him like they do in the
movies. She does not like the idea. Come up with suggestions how she can refuse. and learn how to express their point of view, especially in front of a crowd. public
speaking, such as debates, extemporaneous speech, and the like, develops their
• Some boys are forcing Richard to cut classes and see the latest movie instead. He does not want to go.
They then threaten him that he will have to leave the group since he is too “goody goody”. How should he self-confidence and teaches them to think logically, articulate clearly, and respond
say ‘No’? effectively --- all of which are effective oral communication skills.
• Sonya’s best friend Pia has invited her to a party at her house, where boys will also come, and they will
get alcohol. Sonya does not want to go, but does not want to lose her friend. What should she do? Sug-
gest ways for Sonya to say ‘No’.
• Ian’s friends want him to go with them to bully a younger boy. How can Ia say ‘No’ and also prevent his
friends from bullying him?
OBJECTIVES
• Have the courage to express opinions in front of a crowd.
• Develop their confidence in public speaking.
• Identify strategies they need for expressing themselves clearly and logically in public

contexts.
• Know the importance of non-verbal communication such as eye contact and good posture.
LIFE SKILLS
critical thinking, effective communication, interpersonal relationship
interpersonal competence, personal power
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Qualities of a Good Speaker
• Flip Chart 2: Non-verbal communication
• Handout 1: Norms in a Group Discussion
• Trainer Material 1: Flow of a Debate
DURATION
120 minutes
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PUBLIC SPEAKING FLAP A WING | PAGE 166 PAGE 167 | FLAP A WING PUBLIC SPEAKING
1. Lead the class to a discussion with these questions:

20 MINS 1. Before the activity, have a class discussion on the qualities of a good speaker. Display Flip Chart 1: Qualities
of a Good Speaker. 30 MINS • How was the first activity different from the second one?
• In both settings, what are the things you must consider as you speak and share your opinions?
2. Distribute Handout 1: Norms in a Group Discussion. Let the students answer the worksheet. • How important is non-verbal communication to public speaking?
• Cite situations in your life when you could’ve applied (or could apply) the public speaking skills we have discussed. In
3. Next, have a discussion and a brainstorming session on the norms of good behavior when working in a group. what ways did (or will) those help?
4. Once the students have some background in the qualities expected of a good speaker, and the norms of
group behavior, divide them into groups of seven or eight, and have them sit in circles.
5. In every group, appoint a secret observer (you may appoint the secret observers for each group before the
class starts). Without letting the group members know, the observer has to monitor the group members’ speech 35 MINS 1. Now ask the students to think of one topic that they feel confident about speaking on.
behavior according to the norms discussed above, and record each member’s performance.
2. Ask them to write down the topic on a paper, then fold it and put it on the teacher’s table.
6. Give the groups a popular topic to discuss, such as respectable professions, where students discuss which
professions are considered honorable and why. 3. Before asking students to come up and practice speaking extempore, it might be helpful if you give a
demonstration. Remember to follow the norms of effective speaking identified in the preceding discussion.
7. At the end of the allotted time, the class should reassemble and the observers present their observations on
each member of their group. 4. Then, ask your students to come up one by one and pick a topic to speak on. Make sure all the students
come up to speak, and appreciate their efforts even if they speak in halting English or cannot say more than
a sentence.
45 MINS 1. Tell the students that they will learn the strategies used in public speaking such as debates as a means of
developing self-confidence, conviction, and fluency in speaking.

2. Display Flip Chart 2: Non-verbal communication. Explain that the session will also help them be aware of the
conventions of non-verbal communication such as gestures and eye contact.
3. Have a short discussion about the flow of a debate (Refer to Trainer Material 1: Flow of a Debate).
4. Write this topic on the board or on a prepared flip chart: Women are better teachers than men.
5. Divide the students into groups and let them brainstorm on the qualities of a good teacher.
6. Then, divide the class into two groups: one to support the statement and the other to challenge it.
7. Ask each group to prepare a list of points that support its stand and should nominate three speakers to argue
the members’ viewpoint.
8. With your help, the class should also agree on the judging criteria (e.g. clear organization of ideas, focus on
the topic, grammatical accuracy, pace of speaking, logical presentation of points)
9. When they are ready, the debate can begin, with you as a judge.
10. Decide on the modalities of the debate (e.g. time allotted to each speaker, being polite and respectful to
speakers in the opposite team, taking turns to speak and not interrupting, and so on).
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FLIP CHART 1: QUALITIES OF A GOOD SPEAKER FLIP CHART 2: NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
FLUENT NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

HAS gOOD PRONUNCIATION
DELIVERS CLEARLY IN AN AUDIBLE VOICE AND COMFORTABLE USE OF FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, gESTURES,
PACE OF SPEAKINg EYE CONTACT AND OTHERS AS MEANS OF
KNOwLEDgEABLE OF THE TOPIC wILLINg TO SIgNALINg ATTENTION IN AN ORAL
LISTEN TO OTHERS’ POINT OF VIEw POLITE AND COMMUNICATION SITUATION
HAS PLEASANT PERSONAL BEHAVIOR ABLE TO USE
HUMOR

ABLE TO MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT
ABLE TO TAKE LISTENERS LOgICALLY THROUgH HIS SPEECH
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HANDOUT 1: NORMS IN A GROUP DISCUSSION TRAINER MATERIAL 1: FLOW OF A DEBATE

Group discussions involve the participation of several group members, each of whom has an opinion to share. A debate, as you are aware, is a discussion in which speakers form two groups, and argue in favor of or against a topic.
Since group discussions are social events, involving human communication, members are expected to follow The topic is called a motion, and the speakers from each group not only give reasons to support their argument, they also
the norms of social conduct. Below is a list of things we do when we have group discussions. Decide which counter the arguments made by the members from the opposite group.
ones you think are examples of acceptable behavior, and which ones are not.
(FROM THE PROS) THOSE WHO SUPPORT THE MOTION (PROPONENTS/PROPOSERS OR PROS, FOR SHORT)
1. Everyone speaks at the same time. 1. The first speaker rises and states the motion as follows: I move [or I support] the motion that all “out-of-school”
youths who dropped out for any reason should be encouraged to return to school.
2. Participants have thought about the topic and what they plan to say. 2. They define key terms in the motion. In this case, they need to say what they mean by “out-of-school youths.”
3. They give their reasons in support of the motion:
3. A participant initiates the discussion by thanking the organizers, introducing himself or herself, laying out • My first reason for supporting this motion is that today’s youths are tomorrow’s leaders.
the general nature of them discussion, and invites everyone to speak. • Secondly, they are the…
• Thirdly…
4. People are willing to listen to what others have to say. 4. They sum up their argument in support of the motion: In summary, [or to sum up]…
5. Restate the motion: I, therefore, repeat [or I, therefore, urge] you all to support the motion that…
5. Some participants use a joke and a little humor to make a point.
OPPOSING THE MOTION
6. Participants talk in whispers with their neighbors. 1. The opposite team states their opposition to the motion by stating as follows: I oppose the motion that… or I support
those who oppose the motion that…
7. Everyone has a turn to speak. 2. Like the pros, they define the motion, possibly differently. All those opposing the motion need to agree on their defini-
tion of the key term(s) in order to speak as a united team.
8. A participant makes eye contact with the moderator but not with the other group members. 3. They give their reasons for opposing the motion: for example:
• My first reason for opposing this motion is that not all youths need the kind of education one sees in schools
9. A participant is not afraid to defend what he or she believes in. today. Some are better as roadside mechanics, vulcanizers, house helps, etc.
• Secondly, some have lost interest and confidence in schooling.

10. Some people become emotional and burst out in anger or desperation. • Thirdly...
4. They sum up their reasons for opposing the motion: In summary, [or to sum up]…
11. Some participants make long speeches. 5. They restate their opposition to the motion: I, therefore, repeat [or I, therefore, urge you all NOT to support the motion]
that…
12. A participant is willing to change his or her opinion.
THE PROCESS
13. A participant gets annoyed when someone contradicts her. There are two teams, each consisting of two or three speakers. One team (the affirmative) supports the motion, and the
other (the negative) opposes the motion. A chairperson controls the proceedings.
14. Participants encourage others to speak.
The speeches and speaking time are divided equally between the two teams.
15. Some participants think group discussion is a waste of time and do not hesitate to show their boredom.
Each speaker makes a prepared speech to argue his or her case. The teams prepare collaboratively, building up their
16. Some participants make sarcastic comments. case. The sides speak in turn, starting with the proposer of the motion followed by his or her opponent and then the
others in like order. Each speaker has a specified amount of time to speak (e.g., three minutes or five minutes). Then
17. Participants support good ideas made by other participants. the debate can be opened to the floor, with the speakers standing up to offer points supporting or opposing the motion.
Each speaker from the floor is allowed a specified (usually shorter) amount of time (e.g., one minute or two minutes).
18. A participant picks on the previous speaker’s point, acknowledges it and adds his or her own view.
Important rules
19. Participants interrupt only to ask for clarifications, and do so politely. • The team supporting the motion must not change their point of view. The same goes for the opposition, who must op-
pose the motion completely (whatever their private opinions may be).
20. A participant sums up the discussion by making his or her own concluding remarks and then summarizing • If a speaker makes a statement, he or she must be able to provide evidence or reasons to support it.
what the others had to say. • The facts presented in a debate must be accurate.
• Speakers may not bring up new points in a rebuttal speech; that is, one that demonstrates that the opponent was
“wrong” or ill-informed.
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sectionFIVE
living with and for others
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RELATIONSHIP:
E1 HOME AS THE STARTING POINT
rELATIOnsHIps pLAy an important role in our life.They are the heart

and soul of human experience, which is necessary for the survival of man who is a
social animal.Therefore, relationships need to be tackled carefully. Healthy interpersonal
relationships that are cooperative, interdependent, and mutually supportive are a source
of security and enjoyment for every individual. One of the important institutions with
whom we share a very intense relationship is our family. Our family is the first source
of social interaction and the quality of attachment within our homes. If we do not have
healthy interactions with these significant people in our life, it is important to understand
why and work towards bringing them closer.
OBJECTIVES
• Check how well they know their family.
• Learn to build healthy relationships with family.
• Identify ways of improving their relationship with their family.
LIFE SKILLS
self-awareness, interpersonal relationships, effective communication, empathy
caring, responsibility, interpersonal competence
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: I Talk to My Parents Every Day
• Handout 1: Sherwin and Fiona
• Short bond papers
DURATION
90 minutes
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LIVING WITH AND FOR OTHERS

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RELATIONSHIP: HOME AS THE STARTING POINT FLAP A WING | PAGE 176 PAGE 177 | FLAP A WING RELATIONSHIP: HOME AS THE STARTING POINT
Distribute at least three sheets of paper to each student and ask them to write, “How Well Do I Know My 1. Ask the students:
30 MINS 1.
Family” on top of both. They should label one paper as “Father”, the other as “Mother”, and if applies, the 10 MINS • Why is it important to know about your family members?
remaining papers as “Sister” or “Brother” • What strategies do you think will help you maintain good relations with them?
• How can you improve the communication process between your family?
2. Write the following questions on the board. Ask the students to note their responses individually on a sheet of
paper. 2. Recap the following at the end of the period:
• What is your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s full name? Relationships vary in intensity and importance. One of the important institutions with whom we share a very intense
• What is your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s favorite color? relationship is the family, which comprises parents and siblings. The family is the first source of social interaction and
• What is your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s height? the quality of attachment within the family plays an important role in the overall social and emotional functioning of the
• What is your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s favorite food? child. It is advantageous to maintain good communications with family at all times. Communication is a two-way
• Where were your father/mother/sibling born? process: We need to “express” as well as “listen”; “tell” as well as “ask”.
• What work do your father/mother/sibling have?
• Who is your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s best friend?
• How much have your father/mother/sibling studied?
• What is your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s most valuable possession?
• What did your father/mother/sibling dream of becoming when they were your age? (For younger siblings: What
do they dream of becoming when they reach your age?) 15 MINS 1. Have the students to bring out their papers “How Well Do I Know My Family”.
• What are your father’s/mother’s/sibling’s ambitions for you?
2. Tell them to carry the papers home and check their responses with each of their family members.
3. Give them 20 minutes to write their responses.
3. From the items, ask the students to choose one truth about each of their family members and use this a
4. Explain to the students that the purpose of the activity is to point out the gaps that they may have about means of connecting with them more often (e.g. cook their favorite food, comment on the back of their old
information related to their family members. Mention that it is not necessary to share their answers with others; photo).
they may keep the papers once they’re finished.
35 MINS 1. Ask four students to be volunteers. Tell them they have to present a skit.
2. Give them a few minutes to prepare the skit (Refer to Handout 1: Sherwin and Fiona). Then give them 5-7
minutes to present the skit.
3. After the skit ask the following questions:

• (To the actors only) How did they feel and why did they think their character behaved the way they did?
• What happened in the skit? How did Fiona behave? How did Sherwin behave? How did the parents behave?
• What do you think will happen to Fiona and Sherwin?
• How else could they have handled the situation?

• Is a situation like this common? In what ways?
4. Convey to the group the tips one can use to communicate more effectively with their parents. Display Flip
Chart 1: I Talk to My Family Every Day.
5. After the discussion, ask the students to give ideas that show how the situation could have been handled
differently by Fiona and Sherwin using the tips conveyed earlier.
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RELATIONSHIP: HOME AS THE STARTING POINT FLAP A WING | PAGE 178 PAGE 179 | FLAP A WING RELATIONSHIP: HOME AS THE STARTING POINT
FLIP CHART 1: I TALK TO My PARENTS EVERy DAy HANDOUT 1: SHERWIN AND FIONA
There is a family of five people consisting of two parents, one son and two daughters. The two
TIPS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION wITH YOUR PARENTS younger children – daughter and son, Sherwin and Fiona are good friends.
Sherwin: Do you know about the food festival in the other village tomorrow? Why don’t
we go there?
BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINgS. Fiona: Yes, let’s go! But do you think I can go? I am sure you can go, but I think I will
have to stay at home, prepare food and help Papa with the household work.
yOUR PARENTS ARE A GREAT SOURCE OF SUPPORT AND KNOWLEDGE,
BUT THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM. Sherwin: It’ll be OK – come on, let’s go and ask Mama and Papa.
Now with their parents...
KEEP CALM AND SHOw RESPECT. Sherwin: Mama! Papa! Fiona and I are going to the food festival tomorrow.
IF YOUR PARENTS SAY SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH, DON’T IMMEDIATELY OVERREACT Mama: (looking at Fiona) Are you?
AND BECOME DEFENSIVE. MAKE SURE YOU TALK TO YOUR PARENTS WHEN YOU’RE NOT
EMOTIONALLY UPSET. IF YOU START YELLING OR CRYING, YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO EXPRESS Fiona: Please, Mama, I want to go.
yOUR IMPORTANT FEELINGS. TRy TO IDENTIFy WHAT yOU NEED FROM THEM AND TELL THEM. Papa: Well, Sherwin can go, but you cannot, Fiona. you know that you have to prepare
food and help your mother – that is your duty.
Mama: yes, Fiona, you have a short memory.
USE I STATEMENTS.
CALMLy TELL yOUR PARENTS WHAT IS ON yOUR MIND. AVOID “yOU” STATEMENTS BECAUSE Fiona: (upset) But that’s not fair, why can Sherwin go and not me?
IT WILL ONLy CAUSE MORE FRICTION. INSTEAD USE “I” STATEMENTS TO COMMUNICATE yOUR Papa: Keep quiet and don’t answer back. Go to the kitchen. Now go and cook dinner
FEELINGS WITHOUT BLAMING yOUR PARENTS. and help your mother. Sherwin, you can go. And remember, stop putting ideas in
your sister’s head!
LISTEN TO wHAT YOUR PARENTS HAVE TO SAY.

IF YOU ARE GETTING A CHANCE TO SPEAK WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND, IT’S ONLY FAIR TO GIVE
THE SAME OPPORTUNITy TO yOUR PARENTS. IF yOU LISTEN TO WHAT THEy SAy, yOU MAy LEARN

THAT YOU’VE BEEN MISINTERPRETING THEIR FEELINGS. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO EXPRESS THEIR
FEELINGS AND THEN CALMLy EXPLAIN WHy yOU MAy DISAGREE WITH THEM.
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RELATIONSHIP:
E2 VALUING FRIENDHSIP
WE, HUMAn BEIngs, by nature and instinct are social; we need

to communicate with people. One of the supportive relationships we have where we
practice a supportive communication is friendship. Friends form an important part
of our lives that involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection.We need friends
to share each other’s thoughts, to talk, to express, and to gain information.A friend is
someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors; yet for
many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not
harm them. good friends stand by us in times of need, can be counted upon and are
reliable, are sensitive to our feelings, and care for each other.
OBJECTIVES
• Realize the life skills required for maintaining good friendship.
• List five points which might lead to losing a friend.
LIFE SKILLS
self-awareness, interpersonal relationships, effective communication, empathy
MATERIALS
• Handout 1: The Friendship Scale
DURATION
60 minutes
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RELATIONSHIP: VALUING FRIENDSHIPS FLAP A WING | PAGE 182 PAGE 183 | FLAP A WING RELATIONSHIP: VALUING FRIENSHIPS
10 MINS 1. Divide the class into two groups. 4. Explain to students that if they want friends, but are unable to make any, they can start by practicing
what they do and how they behave
2. Ask them to form two rows facing each other.
3. Maintain a distance of at least 6 ft. in between the two rows.
4. Instruct them to start greeting each other in their own way when the facilitator claps.
15 MINS 1. Ask the students to reflect and decide on what they should keep in mind while making friends? Why?
5. After the activity tell them to go back to their respective seats and ask the following questions:
• What is friendship?
• Why do we need a friend?
20 MINS 1. Encourage them to know more about friendship, and also the advantages of having a friend. Let them critically
think about friendship, which means a supportive, empathizing and mutually beneficial relationship.
2. Now ask: What are the qualities of a good friend? Note their responses.
3. Select one quality and ask, What life skills are required to possess this quality?
Note: You can also tell that nobody may have all the qualities collected here but they can try to be better friends.
4. Select one of the common qualities like being helpful, being kind, and sharing time and secrets. Ask the class
to think critically and come up with life skills required to possess the particular quality.
10 MINS 1. Tell the participants that they will now find out how friendly they are by filling out Handout 1: The Friendship
Scale.
Note: The purpose behind completing the instrument is to introspect and find what sort of a friend one is and what it is that
one lacks in making a good friend or becoming a good friend to someone.
2. Make sure that all students fill in the sheets sincerely.
3. After they have done so tell them to score as follows:

Give one point for “No” to question 1-6 and one point for “Yes” to question 7-11. If your total is more than 6, you can be
categorized as friendly. Do not worry if you score below 6, you can change yourself to become more friendly.
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RELATIONSHIP: VALUING FRIENDSHIPS FLAP A WING | PAGE 184
REspect:
E3 breaking gender stereotypes
HANDOUT 1: FRIENDSHIP SCALE
relationships play an important role in our life.They are the heart and soul of human
What sort of a friend would you make? This instrument can help you to find out about yourself on the experience, which is necessary for the survival of man who is a social animal.Therefore,
friendship scale. Mark “yes” or “No”. relationships need to be tackled carefully. Healthy interpersonal relationships that are
1. Do you feel that you are not worth having as a friend?
cooperative, interdependent, and mutually supportive are a source of security and
enjoyment for every individual. One of the important institutions with whom we share a
2. Are you very demanding? Do you have high expectations of others?
very intense relationship is our family. Our family is the first source of social interaction
3. Are you ever disloyal? and the quality of attachment within our homes. If we do not have healthy interactions
4. Are you generally critical of other people?
with these significant people in our life, it is important to understand why and work
towards bringing them closer.
5. Do you generally wait for someone else to make the first friendly move?
6. Do you offer help when people need it even if they don’t ask for it?
7. Do you volunteer to take part in-group activities, rather than wait to be asked?
8. Do you go out of your way to talk to other people who seem shy or short of friends? OBJECTIVES
9. In an argument, do you try and see things from the other person’s point of view, as well as • Reflect on their understandings of sex and gender.
your own? • Understand how articles and activities are representative of gender division of roles.
• Understand the stereotyping of female and male qualities and gender biases in them.
10. Do you generally listen when people talk to you?
LIFE SKILLS
interpersonal relationships, effective communication, empathy
MATERIALS
• Flip Chart 1: Sex vs. Gender
• Trainer Material 1: Sex vs. Gender
• Trainer Material 2: Gender Division on Articles, Activities, and Roles
DURATION
90 minutes
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RESPECT: BREAKING GENDER STEREOTYPES FLAP A WING | PAGE 186 PAGE 187 | FLAP A WING RESPECT: BREAKING GENDER STEREOTYPES
8. As a conclusion, say:
Society promotes images of men and women, which result in gender biases and images. Understanding the
1. Read the following story to the group: difference between sex and gender is critical for development work. It helps us understand that the cause of inequity
20 MINS Two frogs were sleeping on the bed. Suddenly a loud noise from nearby woke them up. One of the frogs hid under the bed, between men and women is not their biological characteristics, but socially constructed attributes of men and women.
while the other one picked up a stick and ran towards the door.
2. Ask students to identify which one of the two frogs is male and which one is female. Tell them to substantiate
their choice with concrete examples of associative qualities assigned to men and women and how that
influenced their decision.
3. Make two separate lists of female and male qualities as the students express their responses.
15 MINS 1. Ask each student, individually, to complete the following sentences in separate pieces of paper:
• I’m glad I’m a man/woman because...
• Sometimes, I wish I were a man/woman because...
4. Divide the class into two groups.
2. Ask the participants to discuss their responses in groups of three and identify differences and similarities.
5. Encourage each group to come up with all the qualities they associate with men and women. Tell them they
can look at the list and decide which of these qualities they think women and men are born with. 3. Discuss the following with all participants:
• Was one statement more difficult to complete? If so, which one?
6. To conclude, tell the class that no one can say exactly which frog is female and which one is male; the frog • What does it feel like to hear statements about your sex from the opposite sex?
that ran to the door with a stick could be either male or female. Say: • Did you want to challenge any of the statements?
However, due to socialization one learns to associate aggression, bravery, and strength with males. One tends to think of • Are any of the statements completely free of stereotypes?
females as weak and submissive, who are not capable of handling tough situations. The values, imbibed through socialization,
are so strongly embedded in the minds of people that these affect all aspects of their lives. Understanding that these
qualities, which are thought to be ‘natural’, are actually social constructions, and therefore, are changeable, is important for
the creation of an equitable society.
20 MINS 1. Remind students how gender affects all aspects of our lives, and how it narrowly and rigidly defines gen-
der roles and responsibilities.
2. Brainstorm as a large group on conditions you think would symbolize an equitable society.
35 MINS 1. Ask students to give their understanding of the differences between sex and gender. Discuss Flip Chart 1: Sex Note: Statements should begin with ‘if’ and end it with “then it would be an equitable society”.
vs. Gender. • If women have equal share of property, then the society would be equitable.
• If men were less burdened to be primary bread winners then…
2. Distribute the statement cards from Trainer Material 1: Sex Vs. Gender to some students. Ask them to read • If a girl child gets equal health care and nutrition, then…
these aloud, one by one.
3. Divide students into groups of five.
3. Then ask the class to decide which statement denotes characteristics or behaviors based on sex and which
are socially constructed. Request them to explain why they think so. 4. Distribute one flip chart paper each to the groups and ask them to draw a wheel.
4. Now put up a face of a man at one end of the room and a face of a woman at the other end. 5. Let each group choose at least two statements from the brainstorming session, which they will write as
beginning conditions in the center of the wheel, until it moves up outward and captures the positive effects/
5. Call out each article, activity, or role from Trainer Material 2: Gender Division of Articles, Activities, and benefits of the statement of equity for: women, men, and the community at large.

Roles and ask students to take their position whether the phrase belongs to a man or a woman.
6. As a conclusion say,
6. Discuss their responses: Gender is a social construction, which can and does change over time. It is a long and gradual process. Changes in
• Why do we associate certain articles/activities/roles with women, and some with men? gender construction result from personal and collective empowerment through greater awareness, education, economic
• Which of the activities above have any biological basis? empowerment accompanied by a larger movement to create the political will to transform structures and institutions that
• Which activities do not have any biological basis and yet are performed by either men or women only? control resources and decision-making processes.
7. Introduce the concept of gender stereotypes, which imply attributes that are associated with men and women.
Tell the class that those stereotypes tend to determine how they might behave in various circumstances and in
the relationships they enjoy with each other.
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FLIP CHART 1: SEX VS. GENDER TRAINER MATERIAL 1: SEX VS. GENDER
• Women give birth to babies, men don’t.

• Care of babies is the responsibility of women because they can breastfeed them.
• Men have moustaches.
SEX gENDER • Women cannot carry heavy loads.
• Women are scared of working outside their homes at night
• Men’s voices break at puberty, women’s don’t.
Biologically determined Constructed by society • Women are emotional and men are rational.
• Most of the women have long hair and men have short hair.
Universal for all human beings Multi-faceted: differs within and • Most scientists are men.
between cultures and across • Cooking comes naturally to women.
geography, climate, etc.

Unchanging Dynamic, changes over time

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RESPECT: BREAKING GENDER STEREOTYPES FLAP A WING | PAGE 190
REspect:
TRAINER MATERIAL 2: GENDER DIVISION OF ARTICLES, ACTIVITIES, ROLES
E4 celebrating the differently abled
IT Is pErHAps easier to imagine, and therefore understand, the potential

ARTICLES ACTIVITIES ROLES physical barriers for someone with an obvious physical disability than it is to imagine
Broom Car Sewing Chef and understand, for instance, the barriers someone with a mental health condition
keys Cooking Tailor
Saree Washing Clothes Farmer
may experience.This difficulty is often compounded by myths and long-held prejudicial
Rolling-pin Reading newspaper Housewife attitudes about disability. Attitudes towards people with disability are often based on
Screwdriver Breast-feeding babies Breadwinner misinformation and assumption. Reviewing our perceptions and attitudes is the first
Hammer Bathing children Nurse step in undesrstanding the conditions of people with disabilities and changing them to
Stove Fixing the electric bulb Mother
promote inclusiveness.
Tie Knitting sweaters Barber
Lipstick Driving Politician
Briefcase Sweeping Head of the family
OBJECTIVES
• Acknowledge and accept differences of people, especially the differently-abled
• Identify the universality of people’s strengths, limitations, and different abilities.
• Identify the challenges faced by people who are differently-abled as well as their
strengths.
• Establish ways in which young people can actively participate in challenging limitations and
promoting equal rights for a fair and just society.
LIFE SKILLS
social responsibility, empathy
caring, equality & social justice, service to others
MATERIALS

• Flip Chart 1: Table of Different Abilities
• Handout 1: Table of Limitations

• Items that can be picked up easily and counted
• Two or three handkerchiefs (for blindfolds)
• Two or three pieces of rope or ribbon (to tie hands together)
DURATION
90 minutes
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RESPECT: CELEBRATING THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED FLAP A WING | PAGE 192 PAGE 193 | FLAP A WING RESPECT: CELEBRATING THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED
FLIP CHART 1: TABLE OF DIFFERENT ABILITIES

1. Get the students to form groups of three to five, and give each group enough paper for each student.
25 MINS
2. Ask each student to think about their own abilities, and to write down three strengths and three limitations.
3. Instruct each group to discuss their answers and to create a metric ruler where they put “Strengths” on one THEy ARE
side and “Limitations” on the other. DIFFERENTLy ARE BETTER DIFFERENTLy SOME ROLE
ABLED PEOPLE CALLED… AND CANNOT… BUT CAN… MODELS ARE…
4. Distribute Handout 1: Table of Limitations to each group, and have them discuss the categories of limitations WHO ARE… ABLED
listed on the table. Allow up to 10 minutes for this. BE CAUSE OF…
Hearing impaired Hear properly Do everything else Ludwig van
5. Have a group discussion about their limitations and strengths, as highlighted in the group activity, with an normally. Beethoven
emphasis on how society focuses on the limitations of people who are differently-abled, and how attitudes and
barriers violate the rights of people who are differently-abled. DEAF Use sign
language, or
even speak if
trained.
Visually impaired See, or can only Move around Hellen Keller
BLIND see partially normally and do
35 MINS 1. In the next activity, ask for volunteers among the students who are willing to do one of the following (two or several activities.
three for each):
• To be blindfolded Speech impaired Speak clearly or Understand and
• To have their hands tied (some in front, some behind) MUTE speak at all do everything Accident or
• To carry out the activity with one hand in their pocket else. deformity or
• To walk on their knees Keep pace with Do everything difficult birth or Alexander
• To carry out the activity with ‘limitations’ the class for else. genetic problems Graham Bell
LEARNING they tend to or taking improper
2. Ask the volunteers to stand on one side of the classroom and the remainder of the students to gather to one DISABLED reverse numbers medicine or poor Thomas Edison
side to watch. and alphabets diet or malnour-
Orthopedically Use their limbs Do everything ished mother Ma. Gracia Cielo
3. Place the basket of countable items about 20 meters away from the group of volunteers. CRIPPLED impaired effectively else. “Grace” Magno
4. Let them know that when you say GO, the volunteers must go to the basket, collect as many items as they Cerebral palsied Control muscles Be independent Professor
can, and return to the starting point as fast as they possibly can. and movement and well-adjusted Stephen Hawk-
SPASTIC and so may find if trained. ings
5. Once they have completed the race, ask each volunteer to count how many items s/he was able to collect. coordination
difficult
6. Ask the group as a whole to discuss the following questions: Someone with Learn things as Do physical
• How did this activity reflect what happens in real life? What did you learn from it? an intellectual quickly or speak activities, have
• What are the different disabilities that you are aware of? (Refer to Flip Chart 1: Table of Different Abilities) RETARDED disability fluently relationships,

• What are some of the challenges that people with different abilities face? achieve their
• How can we tackle these challenges? How would we ensure that everyone gets an equal chance to get to the items? (Point goals.
out that the items signify equal opportunities, including education, treatment at home and in society, other equal rights, etc.)
10 MINS 1. Ask the students to form groups of three or four, and to discuss the following two points:
• What are the two things they’ve learnt from the session?
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• What is one strength and one limitation that each person in the small group has?
• What two changes would they make in their community or school to make it more inclusive and fair?
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RESPECT: CELEBRATING THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED FLAP A WING | PAGE 194
REciprocity:
E5 global inTerdependence
HANDOUT 1: TABLE OF LIMITATIONS
CULTUrAL dIvErsITy matters to every single one of us.When a group

or segment of our population is excluded or oppressed, all of us are denied. Cultural
differences open an opportunity for cultural responsiveness and global interdependence.
NATURE OF LIMITATION BRIEF DESCRIPTION EXAMPLE
We need to learn from and relate respectfully with people of our own culture as well as
those from other cultures. global interdependence is about cultivating an open attitude
PHySICAL
Different physical or mental abilities Visual, hearing, physical, intellectual and new skills in ourselves, exploring and honoring our own culture, while at the same
impairment
Lack/inadequacy of money and Homelessness
time learning about and honoring other people’s cultures.
ECONOMIC assets
Cultural practices that create Early marriages
CULTURAL barriers for certain categories of
people in a community
Lack/inadequacy of family Orphanhood
SOCIAL caregivers
OBJECTIVES
• Understand how we are all connected.
• Describe how they can affect others.
• Identify ways in which they can deal with diversity and promote harmony.
• Identify belief systems of other countries and one’s role of being citizens of the world.
LIFE SKILLS
interpersonal relationship, social responsibility, empathy
caring, equality & social justice, responsibility, cultural competence
MATERIALS
• Manila paper
• Markers

• Masking tape
DURATION
90 minutes
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RECIPROCITY: GLOBAL INTERDEPENDENCE FLAP A WING | PAGE 198 PAGE 199 | FLAP A WING RECIPROCITY: GLOBAL INTERDEPENDENCE
the mental walls that divide us. What can we do to ‘bring down’ these walls?
1. Ask students to form a big circle by holding hands, and choose one student to be the ‘fixer’. 8. As a final act, invite students to tear apart the walls as a symbolic way of breaking through barriers.
15 MINS
2. Inform the students that when you shout “Tangle!”, the circle should try to get as entangled as possible with-
out letting go of the hands of those next to them. Explain that they can do so by randomly going under the chain
of arms of other students, again and again. Then, it is up to the fixer to untangle them and get them back to
one big circle.
1. Lead the students into a discussion with the following guide questions:
3. Ask the fixer to step out of the classroom, or to turn away so that s/he will not see the group. 20 MINS • Was it easy or difficult for you to answer the questions about ethnic stereotypes or express you own belief? Why?
• Did you learn something new about other ethnic groups or belief systems? What were they?
4. Shout “Tangle!” and when the group seems as tangled as it can get, ask the fixer to come and try to untangle • Have you heard of conflicts arising from differences in belief and religions? Give some examples.
them. Be sure to stay close to make sure that no one is hurt. • What are some of the insights that you have learned from this activity?
5. When the group has been untangled, congratulate everyone. Then, ask the fixer to join the group and shout 2. Remind everyone that, despite the differences in cultural and belief systems, people are united by simi-
“Tangle!” again. This time, have the students try to get out of the entangled mess as a group. lar ethical and moral values. Rather than focus on differences in cultural and religious belief systems, it is
important to focus on similarities in values in working towards harmonious co-existence.
6. Once they have done so, have the students sit down in their circle, and ask them the following questions:
• What happened in the activity?
• What were some of your observations?
• Which was easier—having someone else fix the group or letting the group untangle itself? Why is that?
• Were there times when you felt uncomfortable? How or why did this happen?
• Were there times when you needed to tell someone that you needed to help or that they were making you un
comfortable?
7. Emphasize to the students that everything we do has an effect on other people. Also that because of globali-
zation, the ‘world is getting smaller’, and that we are becoming more connected to others in various ways.
30 MINS 1. In the next activity, ask the students to form groups of six to eight, and give each group a sheet of flip-chart
paper and marker.
2. Ask the students to draw brick squares on the flip-chart paper to make it look like a wall.
3. Next, ask them to write the different group-based identities in their community (e.g. caste, race, ethnic, reli-
gious groups). Encourage them to be creative on the flip-chart paper—as if they were doing a mural on the ‘wall’.
4. Once they have done this, ask them to think about the different stereotypes or myths that are typically held

about one of these groups. Give them 10 minutes to write them all down the wall.
5. Repeat the process, but this time about another group and the stereotypes people have about them. Give
them another five minutes to do this.
6. Ask each group to present their walls and, after the presentations, tape the different walls together.
7. Lead the students into a discussion with the following questions:

• What are some of the common things written on your walls?
• Do you think that what is written is true? Why or why not?
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• Do you think these stereotypes are harmful or helpful in building a community? Why?
• In reality, these walls also exist. Sometimes, they are real walls keeping communities or countries apart. Sometimes, they are
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our vision for every child,

life in all its fullness.
our prayer for every heart,
the will to make it so.
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Flap A Wing Life Skills Module

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389 Quezon Avenue cor. West 6th St.,

By WVDF Education and Child Protection

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Introduction to How do Life How can Life

POSITIVE IDENTITY OF SELF

Building Making Thinking

Solving Setting Taking

FROM THOUGHTS TO WORDS

POSITIVE IDENTITY OF SELF

Celebrating the Global

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A1 INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS

LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

5. After 10 minutes, bring the group back together.

30 MINS 1. Start the next activity by calling 10 volunteers.

3. Ask the class:

5. Display the Flip Chart 1: Types of Skills, prepared beforehand.

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FLIP CHART 1: TyPES OF SKILLS FLIP CHART 2: DEFINITION OF LIFE SKILLS

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LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

A2 HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK?

DRIVER POLICE OFFICER

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LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

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LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

HANDOUT 1: LUCY’S STORY

through the night.

Lucy probes further. “What else have you advised me?”

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A3 HOW DO LIFE SKILLS WORK? (CONT)

LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

FLIP CHART 2: CLASSIFICATIONS OF LIFE SKILLS

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LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

CREATIVE THINKING * CRITICAL THINKING II. EMOTIONAL SKILLS

COPING WITH EMOTIONS

III. COMMUNICATION SKILLS

CRITICAL THINKING III. SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITy SKILLS

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A4 HOW CAN LIFE SKILLS HELP ME?

AdOLEsCEnCE is the transition from childhood into adulthood, during

LIFE SKILLS: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

3. Go over each section to clarify and give examples as appropriate.

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HANDOUT 1: DEVELOPMENT DURING ADOLESCENCE HANDOUT 1: PERSONAL DRAMAS

Changes we experience as we grow from childhood to adulthood

and genital development and

• Feelings of awkwardness • Extremes of high • Stronger sense of oneself

• Desire for increased • Distancing from parents • Capable of complex

• Peer influence becomes more • Begin to relate to family

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