POSITIVE

The ocean waves crashed against the rocky cliff wall, wafting up the fresh fragrance of salty
waters. A home rested near the edge of the bluff, nestled among the wildlife, complimented by a
singular lighthouse soaring far above. Dusk clouds embraced the warmth of the setting sun,
shedding its orange and pink hue across the ridge, shadows growing bigger as day returned to
night. The twitter of birdsong permeates the evening air, only adding to an atmosphere of
tranquility and peace. As sunset turns to twilight, the cliffside is filled with the vibrant glow of the
lighthouse lamp overhead. The lens shoots it out into the undisturbed sea, a call to the sailors
lost, a safeguard through the night.

NEGATIVE

The ocean waves pounded against the rocky cliff wall, wafting up the pungent odor of rotted fish
and stale water. A home rested near the edge of the bluff, impeding the wildlife and dominated
by a singular lighthouse imposed far above. Dusk clouds seized the warmth of the setting sun,
shedding the remaining cold across the ridge, shadows looming bigger as day fell to night. The
squawking of birds pierced the evening air, only adding to the agitated atmosphere. As the
darkness overwhelms the bluff, the blaring yellow of the lamp overhead. Its lens shoots out a
sailors false hope that only excites before they fall victim to the tide.

Student Author - Levi Janke

Peer Evaluator - Chelsea Scott
Class Period - 1B
Picture Number - Lighthouse

Read both passages. Answer the following questions with specific details from the paragraphs.
Then indicate the picture number from the white board at the top of this paper.

1. What is common to both accounts? Both have very pungent senses. Uses the five
senses really well in both paragraphs. The descriptions of colors are similar. Both are
described as homie just in different ways.

2. How do the two accounts differ? One is described as positive, peaceful and full of life.
The other feels crowded, annoying, and dark. The first one has a lot more warm colors
that make it seem more bright. The second paragraph has more dark dreary colors.
 3. List words that create a positive perception.fragrance, warmth, twitter, vibrant,
undisturbed.

4. List words that create a negative perception. rotting , pungent, stale, impeding,
cold,looming, squawking, agitated, darkness, victim.

5. Find and list a good example of Show, Not Tell writing from either paragraph. Its lens
shoots out a sailors false hope that only excites before they fall victim to the tide.

6. Which passage do you feel is better? Explain why. I like the first positive one better
because it has more warmth with it. It uses more color descriptions like pink and orange.

Student Author - Chelsea Scott

Peer Evaluator- Levi
Class Period -1B
Picture Number -q

Read both passages. Answer the following questions with specific details from the paragraphs.
Then indicate the picture number from the white board at the top of this paper.

1. What is common to both accounts?

Both accounts involve a scene filled with water and rain. There is mention of trees and the
mother, child, and father are all present.

2. How do the two accounts differ?

While one account is very bright, filled with colorful objects and warm word flavoring, the other
feels a lot more dark. Everything is described in a negative light, and what once was a happy
family has turned into one split apart.

3. List words that create a positive perception.

Bright, pastel, pop, clear, comfortable, soft, doughy, glistening, glow, wag, homey, hugs.

4. List words that create a negative perception.

Angrily, lonely, solemnly, tired, slump, crying, lurking, creeps, entangle, exhausted, cold, sad,
droop, despairing, desolate.

5. Find and list a good example of Show, Not Tell writing from either paragraph.
A homey fog settles over the home as it hugs the trees and plants.

An exhausted horse drags its way along the cold road splashing the bright flowers with mud and
water as it passes by.

6. Which passage do you feel is better? Explain why.

The negative is better in my opinion because it feels a lot more descriptive. There is more life,
imagery, and intensity that makes it more memorable and enjoyable to read than the positive
passage.