When Love comes to Town

When one travels to Thailand one

brings all the habits, feelings and

characteristics one possesses. Its true

that you wake up in a completely

different environment that encourages

a change in behaviour. You are here to

enjoy the freedoms that you don't have

in the west, especially today when men

are vilified simply for being men. The

freedom to fuck a different girl or more

than one girl or ladyboy every day and

crucially to feel zero remorse. The

freedom  to completely swerve the

dating game. Sure you can still win at

the dating game back home if you are

completely unscrupulous and treat

women like shit (that's my

recommended modus operandi). Let

me explain. "Like shit" is a term used

by women to describe a man's actions

when he did not either give them what

they wanted or do what they wanted

him to do and it can range from actions

as heinous as not immediately

returning a text or phone call to failing

to call them again after fucking them.

Nothing will curtail your freedoms like

Love.

It may be that’s exactly what you need

and want or it may not. Travelling here

to Thailand alone can be lonely at

times. Friends are more important here

than in the West, I believe. It’s

important to find a few. Now here is a

secret that few know, many disbelieve

and most will never hear………..You

can be in love and still fail to comply

with expectations.

Failure to comply with expectations-

that phrase pretty well describes my

dating life in the west and to some

degree here in Thailand. My advice is

that you make it your fallback position.

You should fail to comply here in

Thailand but for different reasons than

in the west. If your heart has turned to

stone you don't need to read further

but for the rest of us we need to arm

ourselves so that we can actually

make being in love something we

enjoy. Every tragic ending began with

optimism, love and hope. Remember

that.

 
When you arrive in Thailand and begin

arranging liaisons with ladyboys of the

night, even those you meet in the day,

will all have a different effect on you.

There will be the glossy darlings you

meet in go-go bars like Kings in

Patpong and Pattaya counterparts in

which the girls are a little distant at first

and more expensive for the duration,

slightly more approachable and

friendly girls you meet in beer bars like

Guess Bar used to be and now Check-

Inn Bar who still come attached to an

expensive bar fine. There will be the

girls you hook up with on Thai-Friendly

with one good photo or beachfront girls

or girls from less salubrious little bars

and a little room somewhere where

you are taken in your lust that make

your body itch for an hour or so after

you leave and your brain itch for a few

days. Some will be worse than others,

some will be barely attractive and you

may feel stubble on your legs while

recieving an enthusiastic blow-job (you

let them finish anyway as it feels quite

good) Some will make you feel like the

lascivious scum that you are. Some

will make you feel like their daddy and

some like a brute, some like an angel

of mercy. But none of these are

dangerous even the girl you meet by

chance on the street, at a club, at a

noodle shop that does not ask for a

penny and yet gives herself joyously

for a night, a day, a week. None are

dangerous and yet they all are. On a

night in which you felt to tired to go out,

your thoughts will turn to your

aloneness. You may begin to think that

you would like more than a dumb fuck

(after lots of these our palate becomes

more refined) you would like intimacy

and to have a chat with someone.

Those terrible girls best at the famed

GFE or girlfriend experience will be

those who break down the defences.

Lets define Love.

1. They love you more, you are in

control

2. You love them more and you are in

trouble

That's why you need to be prepared.

The physical pain of loving someone

and not having the power to make

them love you enough is legendary

and ocassionally suicidally sharp; a

blade upon which one slices away

chunks of one's heart daily. A red

haired rock chick was my first

attempted murderer. A chick so

realistically honest and also so blunt it

was overwhelming. It took me a while

to swim to shore after she walked

away from me.

Farida, a ladyboy prostitute was the

next innappropriate love and you have

read all about her. Falling in Love is

tough even if the girl loves you back.

But it's never equal, never. And when

we are in Thailand the chances of

losing one's mind over a girl or ladyboy

get much higher because Thais are not

only beautiful but they are in our reach

and they know how to put on a great

show of taking care

Why talk about this now? Last video

I have known Ploy for some time and

Nutty a little less. I see how they

present themselves and I can imagine

how many men could fall for these

girls; how easy it can be. Nutty is a

quiet girl who speaks little English but

she is very fun loving and has a sense

of humour as well as sublime beauty

and a cracking pair of tits. Imagine this

angel, this paragon of ladyboys at your

side. The point or the problem is that in

Thailand, that seems eminently

possible. That's how Bangkok works

it's magic . . . . . caressing and

squeezing your heart

Just before ripping it out of your chest.

Ploy, a little older not less lovely, a

different girl who does everything to

please. She is both thoroughly

professional and at once completely

open and warm. Surely, with a girl like

that a relationship could work . . . . .

maybe it would but finding the balance

between True love and being master of

one's own destiny would be the task of

Sisyphus, a futile and repeated labour.

When you do fall in love, and you

probably will I assert that it is still

possible to retain your freedom and be

in a loving relationship. Men are often

asked to do things that make us

unhappy. Think about it. Shopping,

visiting her village more than once,

meeting her family, have one of her

family live with you, give money to her,

her family and/or friends. Trust me

these are a few things that my friends

and associates say upsets them.

Because there is not much in it for us.

Now if a visit to her village meant

staying in a luxurious hunting lodge

surrounded by all we can eat and drink

and beautiful sisters . . . but it’s not.

It’s hanging around most of the day in

a jungle clearing and eating terrible

food. Being smiled at, talked at and

understanding little of what is said. So

do not be led around like a prize bull

so that your new girlfriend can make

face by showing off her farang.

If you find yourself being asked or

expected to do too many of the things

you don’t like it may be because you

are madly in love and want to please

your darling.

Fall back on a Failure to Comply-----

don’t give her everything she wants . . .

. . get what you want from a

relationship by just saying No.

End