Clumsy Rob Chan

A Short Story
by Anonymous
Alice Johnson looked at the silver sandwich in her hands and felt stressed.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her beautiful surroundings. She had
always loved quiet Glasgow with its loose, loopy lakes. It was a place that
encouraged her tendency to feel stressed.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Rob
Chan. Rob was a clumsy juggler with hairy toes and ample legs.

Alice gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a snotty, thoughtful, tea
drinker with pointy toes and charming legs. Her friends saw her as an adventurous,
annoying animal. Once, she had even rescued a flipping owl from a burning building.

But not even a snotty person who had once rescued a flipping owl from a burning
building, was prepared for what Rob had in store today.

The rain hammered like loving goldfish, making Alice concerned.

As Alice stepped outside and Rob came closer, she could see the enchanting glint in
his eye.

"I am here because I want justice," Rob bellowed, in a spiteful tone. He slammed
his fist against Alice's chest, with the force of 3205 kittens. "I frigging love
you, Alice Johnson."

Alice looked back, even more concerned and still fingering the silver sandwich.
"Rob, I'm in love with you," she replied.

They looked at each other with sleepy feelings, like two magnificent, mighty
monkeys partying at a very rude wedding, which had reggae music playing in the
background and two kind uncles drinking to the beat.

Suddenly, Rob lunged forward and tried to punch Alice in the face. Quickly, Alice
grabbed the silver sandwich and brought it down on Rob's skull.

Rob's hairy toes trembled and his ample legs wobbled. He looked sparkly, his body
raw like a mushy, moaning map.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Rob
Chan was dead.

Alice Johnson went back inside and made herself a nice cup of tea.

THE END