Marauder MAGAZINE

ELON MUSK'S SECRET GENOCIDE

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Elon Musk
Elon Musk is no stranger to science. He's been on the
brink of human innovation since the start of a company
responsible for half of the civilian world's private
payments and money transfers also known as PayPal. In
addition to his financial adventures, he's had his eye on
several prizes including electric cars, rockets, and
tunnels. The Boring Company is one of Musk's prized
possessions as it delivers promise to some of the most
complex engineering and road traffic problems humanity
faces every day. Despite what you're probably thinking,
the word "boring" actually refers to the verb "bore" as in
dig. And dig they do. Elon Musk's company successfully
broke ground for an underground venture to link the
convention center in Las Vegas with several resorts in
May 2021. But at the cost of what... and who?

The Mole People

The Mole People are a misunderstood species of sentient
anthropomorphic lifeforms from the taxonomic order
Eulipotyphla that live deep within the Earth's crust. You
may have the impression that the mafia was responsible
for the boom of Las Vegas's gambling industry and now
every casino and resort is owned by one of a handful of
entertainment and hospitality companies. Well, that may
be the case... on paper. In reality, it was the Mole People
who founded Las Vegas and it is still the Mole People
who hold a majority stake in the entertainment industry in
the City of Lights. Sub-boreal Las Vegas is also the
stronghold for the Mole people's business commerce
known as Moletropolis. It is the second largest city in the
underground Mole Empire with the first being Molebile,
Alabama. Following right behind them, in order of
precedence, are Moleklahoma City, and then Molettowa,
Canada.

For decades, the Mole People have been misunderstood

and even stereotyped as monsters like in the 1956 film
depicting stereotypical sub-boreal creatures that attack
humans. In reality, they're just like you and me. Now they
face a new challenge by the world's richest man:
genocide. This time it's not by a radical political entity
but rather a private corporation destined to destroy the
underground civilization for the sake of making America
more accessible with a sophisticated network of tunnels
destined to bypass traffic and solve unbearable road
congestion problems across the country.

Musk built a prototype of his tunnel networks in Las

Vegas with the promise to minimize congestion. What he
didn't tell anybody was the cost of the project: a price
not only paid with fundraising and capital investment,
but with the blood of innocent Mole People.

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The Genocide
It was a normal day for Sarah and David Moleington.
Sarah worked in the accounting department for the
company that manufactures the popular mole-people
soft drink Coca-Molea whereas David is a chef at the
world famous Smith & Mollensky steakhouse. Both live in
the sub-terrain city of Moletropolis conveniently under
what people have referred to as Las Vegas. While the
two were out enjoying time with their daughter,
suddenly the ground below them began to shake. The
very Earth they stood on began to crumble as the giant
machines beneath dismantled the foundations of the
sacred city and carved an elongated tunnel right
through their city. The giant drill head in the front
destroyed homes, buildings, automobiles, and even
unfortunate people.

After drills came the bulldozers and armed humans with

pickaxes and shovels. The screams of horror from the
mole people were masked by the mechanical ranker of
more incoming machinery, metal, and the clanging of
pickaxes hitting the rocks. Thinking quickly, Sarah hid
behind a Tesla-bulldozer prototype while David hid in a
crevice. The screams from the other mole people
continued to die down until they were forever silenced
as the giant drill ran right over them, grinding them into
tiny fragments of unrecognizable remains, only to be
used as bricks for another company-built tower just
outside the tunnel similar to the one in California.

Anyone who survived the first wave by some miracle was

met with an even more gruesome end. Following the
drills were men armed with Not-A-Flamethrowers
branded by The Boring Company who torched
everything they came across without thinking twice. Any
Mole Person they saw left alive, they scorched to a burnt
crisp. They stopped at nobody taking the innocent lives
of countless men, women, and children who woke up
that day expecting that it would be a normal day for
them.
Despite the slaughter and with Sarah and David being the
only known survivors able to tell a shocking story, Elon Musk
kept silent about the bloodshed caused on that fateful day.
While many praise Musk as a hero, the Mole people
remember what he did to their underground city, and lest
they forget.

"I'll never forget the laugh," Sarah said, claiming Elon's evil
snicker and diabolical joy was terrifying and made her skin
curl.

David eventually reunited with Sarah after the entire town

was merely unrecognizable. In the dark of the night, they
made an escape to the surface where they ran to live with
relatives in Molettowa, but they would not give up the fight
so easily.

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In the End
The Mole People are a very proud people. Behind
them comes a heritage of sophisticated culture and
faith that has united many sub-terrain creatures
under the dirt underworld for thousands of years.
They will not let someone like Elon Musk destroy
their civilizations and their people en masse so he
could solve modern society's technology problems.
That is why the Mole People have filed lawsuit
against The Boring Company for violation of their
civil rights with high profile attorneys from multiple
firms prepared to represent them.

But what's one more lawsuit for Mr. Musk? He already had
the Securities and Exchange Commission attempt to sue
him for allegedly manipulating the stock market with his
Tweets, so what's one more lawsuit against him by a bunch
of anthropomorphic beings that nobody has ever heard of
before?

Despite the monstrosities suffered by the Mole People, Elon

Musk remains mostly positive in the eyes of society. Having
just acquired Twitter, Inc. in the name of free speech, he is
often seen as a hero to the people and held in high regard.
On the platform, he's the most vocal and most reverend
person dubbing himself as "Chief Twit" and posting tweets
that most public figures could never get away with. A
lawsuit against him and his empire would be difficult
especially considering that what he does is in the name of
the betterment of humanity.

Beneath Musk's tunnels in Las Vegas are the remains of a civilization that is no more. A once-proud people that built
themselves up from nothing and were responsible for Paradise, Nevada enduring an explosive boom of tourism have
had one of their flagship cities destroyed. Elon Musk has also managed to destroy evidence of the Mole people's
presence or Moletropolis ever existing under Las Vegas having paved a traffic throughway over what once was a
prospering ancient civilization. The Moleingtons will have their revenge one day, and that will come with the swift
justice as the wooden gavel is struck to charge the wicked and evil in the land their dues.

Are You Being Sued for Wiping out an Entire Race of Fictitious
Sub-Terrain Anthropomorphic Beings? We can help.
Ligma Johnson & Associates LLP.
Our licensed attorneys specialize in rigorous defense matters
that pertain to all sorts of monstrosities ranging from parking
tickets to unspeakable crimes against humanity. Don't let that
one little genocide ruin your life forever. After all, everybody
makes mistakes in life. Why should you have to pay for them?
Call 1-800-LIGMA-JO for a Free Consultation.
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