Fate

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/44062713.

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 山河令 | Word of Honor (TV 2021), 天涯客 | Faraway Wanderers -
priest
Relationship: Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu, Zhang Chengling & Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing
& Zhang Chengling & Zhou Zishu
Character: Zhou Zishu, Zhang Chengling, Wen Kexing
Additional Tags: Mpreg, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bonding, Angst, Omega Zhou
Zishu, Alpha Wen Kexing, Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu are Parents of
Zhang Chengling, No beta we die like every likeable straight ship in a
danmei, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, No Smut, Wen Kexing
is technically not in this but, I tagged him because he is precious and
deserves it, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional
Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-01-04 Updated: 2023-01-19 Chapters: 3/? Words:
6968

Fate
by ayoforbetterdays

Summary

The ex-assassin was frozen in front of the bronze mirror in his room. His slender fingers
grazing over his middle, his robes slightly rumpled from his earlier panic. The kunze huffed
out a breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding in. He stripped down to just be in
his under shirt and let his hand slip underneath the thin fabric. His palm rested below his
belly button and he felt a new spark of anxiety lighting his nerves, placing his long digits
against his warm skin. There was a very slight rounding to his stomach, but it was not
perceptible if one was not carefully looking at it. Under his layers of robes, it could not be
seen, but with his hand pressed to his lower belly, he could feel the slight curve. He shut his
eyes and shuttered, worry building within the pit of his stomach.

SYNOPSIS:
Zhou Zishu finds out that he is pregnant and these are his emotions as he reacts. This takes
place before the nails have been removed.

Notes

Ayo, its me, I am back at it again. Gotta keep pushing my mpreg zzs agenda <3 I also gotta
lead my zzs whump agenda <3
 I think I want to add onto this???? Idk. Right now it is a stand alone story but if I see that it
has interest, I will make another story with Kexing finding out about the baby and his
reaction to it.

Because this is an A/B/O au, I used the Chinese equivalents.

Alpha = Qianyuan
Beta = Zhongyong
Omega = Kunze

This is my first A/B/O so I hope it is okay. I am using bonding marks and scenting in this.
They are able to have a pyschic connection if they are close enough. Please let me know if
I have made any mistakes or if I should add anything to improve the A/B/O au!

I did not have a beta for this so there are probably a few minor mistakes, sorry in advance
<3

EDITED 01/12/2023- fixed a few errors and added a few sentences. Chapter 2 with Wen
Kexing is in the works.

See the end of the work for more notes

 Zishu

The ex-assassin was frozen in front of the bronze mirror in his room. His slender fingers
grazing over his middle, his robes slightly rumpled from his earlier panic. The kunze huffed out a
breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding in. He stripped down to just be in his under shirt
and let his hand slip underneath the thin fabric. His palm rested below his belly button and he felt a
new spark of anxiety lighting his nerves, placing his long digits against his warm skin. There was a
very slight rounding to his stomach, but it was not perceptible if one was not carefully looking at it.
Under his layers of robes, it could not be seen, but with his hand pressed to his lower belly, he
could feel the slight curve. He shut his eyes and shuttered, worry building within the pit of his
stomach.

Zishu stumbled back a step but caught himself on the corner of the bookshelf, breathing
starting to become labored. This couldn't be real . He tried to circulate his qi, focusing on it as he
felt the energy flow through his withering meridians. As it reached his middle, he felt that odd
sensation once more. It was warmth radiating from deep within him, something extending out to
him, mingling with his own qi with an energy that wasn’t his own. This can’t be real. I’m dying.
I’m a dying man and this… This can’t be happening. His knees buckled and the man crumpled to
the floor. He could feel tears beading in his eyes. His ears were ringing, heart rate speeding up.

Thoughts were turning over faster than he could process them. It didn’t make any sense. It
wasn’t possible for him to be pregnant . The nails were slowly killing him, breaking his meridians
down. He didn’t eat much and all he truly did was drink wine and sleep. Zishu had been taking a
mix of herbs to block pregnancy and to keep his heats from happening. He hadn’t even been able
to go into heat since he inserted the first nail into his chest, his body too weak. How could this
have happened? He was confused and distraught and he didn’t even know how he was going to tell
Wen Kexing. There was no one else that this child could belong to besides that pest. He had
bedded Zishu nearly every night since they had settled down at Siji Manor. The qianyuan had used
sex as a distraction to try and get Zishu through the worst of the nails nightly torments. There
hadn’t been a night in the few weeks that they had been here, where they hadn't slept together. This
shouldn’t be possible. He shouldn’t be able to be pregnant. Zishu heard himself sob but the man
was powerless, unable to keep himself together for a moment longer. Just getting back to the manor
without breaking down had been an arduous task.

Zishu had gone to see the village apothecary as soon as dawn broke. For the past week, he had
been suspecting that he was ill but he refused to worry Wen Kexing. The qianyuan was already a
high-strung mess due to his constant worry over Zishu’s nails. He couldn’t add onto it. Hiding his
bouts of sickness and his constant fatigue from Kexing had been a difficult task as the younger was
always clinging onto him, but he had managed to keep it secret. Zishu had become lucky and
Kexing had left to go and check in with things in the Ghost Valley. He had left late last night and
wouldn’t be returning for a few days.

With this time, the kunze had decided to seek outside help for his seemingly never-ending
stomach ache, figuring it was some odd side effect of the nails. What little appetite he had had, was
completely gone now and he was forcing himself to stomach at least a bowl of rice in the evenings,
fighting off nausea with a mix of herbs that truly had little effect. He was hoping to get some
medicine and new herbs to boost his desire for food and to help cut back his nausea. It would be
best to get himself feeling better before Kexing really figured out that there was something wrong.
His body was already weak, but not eating was causing his gaunt figure to thin so much that he
looked like a bag of bones.
 The old woman in the apothecary had asked him many questions and had even asked him to
remove his outer layers. Zhou Zishu had not wanted to undress, but did as he was asked, allowing
her to come near him once he was only in his under robes. It was when she set her hands to his
lower stomach that she finally sighed and gave him the official cause for his unknown illness.
“You are with child, young master.” She continued to move her hands, feeling the entirety of his
lower belly. Zishu had watched her with halted breath, not really understanding what she was
saying to him. “It seems that you are rather… unwell. You will need rest and to have your mate
close if you want this pregnancy to succeed.” The words echoed in his head and Zishu had needed
to sit down, putting a hand to his head as he was taken by a wave of dizziness.

He had shook his head and stuttered, trying to find the right words. “It isn’t possible. I.. I am in
no way healthy enough to even…” He looked back up to her. “There has to be a mistake.” The
older man frowned at him and knelt down to be level with his eyes.

“There is no mistake, young master. You are with child.” Zhou Zishu zoned out as the woman
gave him a few sachets of herbs and told him about what he should and should not be doing in
order to keep the baby safe. He wasn’t able to listen, brain blanking out. His trip home had been a
total blur. He hadn’t even realized he had made it back until he was stumbling into his own
bedroom, at which point he rushed over to the bronze mirror, his senses finally returning with a
new rush of panic.

The man was now sitting on the floor of his room in Siji Manor, trying to decide what the best
course of action would be. He felt dizzy with anxiety and sick to his stomach. He was going to die.
He was dying. And yet, fate would have him carrying a child. He put a hand back to his abdomen
and he stared down at it, tears silently dripping down his cheeks. This child would be doomed.
Cursed. He had ruined its life just by becoming the one that was to bring it into this world. He felt
like he was about to break down. Maybe it was due to his hormones, or the fact that his qianyuan
was nowhere near at this moment.

He had felt uncomfortable as it was but now… Now he had a living being growing within his
decaying body. He felt guilt and grief, anger and sadness. His lips rose into a sorrowful smile and
the man let his thumb caress the bump. He wasn’t sure if he would even be able to carry this child
to term and he wondered if it would be less cruel to get rid of it before it grew anymore. “I’m
sorry… I’m so sorry…” The words slipped from his lips, accompanied by sobs. He stayed there,
unmoving and crying until it felt like his tear ducts had completely dried up, his throat dry and his
eyes feeling hot.

His hand went up to the back of his neck, rubbing at the bonding mark that was still freshly
bruised. Zishu needed the comfort of his mate’s words and the warmth of his embrace. He had no
idea how his Lao Wen was going to react. He would be upset and worried for sure but what if he
didn’t even want a child? If Zishu chose to carry it to term and Lao Wen didn’t want the baby… He
was going to die. Zhou Zishu tightly shut his eyes, reaching out to feel for Kexing. He was far
away so the bond was weak. Kexing would not be able to sense his distress. A breath left Zishu’s
lungs and the man shook his head. “Good…” He muttered to the air, not having anyone else to
voice his anxieties to.

With unsteady legs, he stood himself back up and redressed in his robes. The man washed his
face using the water in the basin and he then let out a shaky sigh as he looked at his own reflection.
His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were sunken. He looked ghastly. No one needed to know about
this but him. He would hide it until he knew what he was going to do, or until he could no longer
hide it. He adjusted his robes and then smoothed down his hair, clearing his throat.

Placing his hand back to his middle and caressing it, he mournfully smiled down at it again.
This was just another sign from the universe, another joke. He didn’t deserve happiness. He just
felt guilty that this child was innocent and had to suffer with him. It was not fair.

Zishu left his room, going to find his disciple. Chengling had been busying himself with
training while his master was out in the village. Now that Zishu was back and had handled his
emotions, he thought it best to distract himself. “Chengling!” He called, not seeing him in the
courtyard. He poked his head into his disciples room and frowned when he wasn’t there. The
teenager was nowhere to be seen.

Zhou Zishu huffed and meandered into the kitchen, eyebrows rising in surprise as he saw the
boy was cooking. “Chengling…?” He stepped over the threshold, immediately overtaken by the
smell of cooking garlic. He was about to ask why his disciple was cooking instead of training but
the pungent smell caused his stomach churn. Zishu darted out, rushing into the courtyard and
releasing the contents of his stomach into a bush. He sunk to his knees and panted, his arms
holding up his weight.

“Shifu!” Chengling had run after him, going to his side. He knelt down, frowning as he
watched the older man settle back down onto his heels, taking in deep breaths.. “Shifu, are you
sick?” He rubbed the elders back lightly and bit his lip as he thought out loud. “Shishu said he
would be gone for a few days…”

The man shook his head, taking in a few deep breaths to steady himself. “No. No, I think I just
drank some tainted wine.” He knew his disciple wouldn't see through his lie. He adjusted his robes
and slowly stood. He hoped his hormones hadn’t affected his scent yet, knowing it would be
impossible to hide his condition from even the little idiot. He couldn’t sense a difference in his
scent yet, but children seemed to be more perceptive as adults.

Chengling noticed that his master’s scent was slightly sweeter but he said nothing. It reminded
him of the scent that came off of women when they were pregnant. Weird. Maybe the wine had
made him smell a bit different. “Shishu wouldn’t be happy to know that you were feeling unwell
while he was gone. Shifu, maybe you should go and rest. Are you hungry? Shishu taught me how
to make congee without burning it.” He gave his master a bright smile, trying to reassure him.

Zhou Zishu looked to his disciple and the man let out a sigh. “I don’t think I can eat right now,
Chengling. I will rest. Continue training. I want to see improvement in your steps by morning.” The
man watched as the boy eagerly nodded.

“Yes, shifu.” Chengling bowed his head to his master, before going back into the kitchen to
remove his food from the flames. He would train until sundown so he didn’t let his shifu down.

Zhou Zishu went back to his room, laying down under soft blankets once he had stripped down
to his inner layers. He nuzzled into the pillow that held Kexing’s scent and the man deeply
inhaled, hugging onto it tightly as distress and sadness clouded his mind once more. He shut his
eyes when he felt tears rising, and the man swallowed back a sob. He would not let himself cry
again. He was too prideful, even to cry alone and now that he had gotten a handle of himself, he
would not let it slip again. Zishu would never admit it, but all he wanted was to be safely wrapped
in his qianyuan’s arms, protected and warm. Especially now, when his heart ached and he felt
unwell.

Within the pile of blankets, Zhou Zishu curled up, arms tightly wrapped around his abdomen.
He fell into a restless sleep, tossing and turning; nightmares plaguing his dreams. He whimpered
lowly, never waking as he saw forms whom he could not name, but whose memories haunted him.
When the evening faded into night, he woke, the pain of the nails jolting him into consciousness.
 He trembled and gripped the bedding, shutting his eyes as he tried to focus on his qi. His
thoughts wandered, running through anxious spirals as he thought about his child and how he
would tell his partner. He let a few tears slip, the pain nearly unbearable. It had not felt like this
before. Perhaps it had been due to the fact that he had not suffered alone like this since meeting
Wen Kexing.

When the pain became too much he got up to walk in the moonlight, needing a distraction. It
was how he had dealt with the pain before he met Kexing and though it was not as helpful as the
other man was, it would be enough to help for tonight. He would need to find another way to calm
the torment caused by the nails as he normally would resort to drinking, and right now in his
current state, that was not an option.

His bonding scar ached so the man rubbed the back of his neck as he started to wander the
courtyard. Kexing was not close enough for him to try and communicate. He wanted his qianyuan
so badly, that it actually ached. Never in his life would Zishu ever admit to needing someone else
as badly as he needed Kexing.

As the night went on and the pain from the nails faded from piercing spikes to a dull ache,
Zishu settled under his favorite tree. He watched the wind ruffle the trees and listened to the sound
of crickets. The air smelled of rain so he assumed there would be a storm coming soon. He
suspected it was near sunrise, but he wished the moon would stay high in the sky. Staring at it gave
him a slight feeling of calmness, reminding him of Kexing’s presence from their many nights of
sitting and drinking together, bathed in the silvery light. Zishu shut his eyes, allowing his
exhaustion to drag him into sleep. This time, it was much more peaceful, his thoughts of Kexing
causing dreams of a lavender clad man with a smile as bright as the midday sun. Warmth
enveloped him despite the chilling breeze and Zhou Zishu slept underneath that tree until his
disciple had woken him around midday.
 Kexing
Chapter Summary

Wen Kexing returns to find his zhiji crying. Zhou Zishu tells him about the baby. This
is a Wen Kexing-centric chapter.
LOTS of angst. This chapter is basically all angst (like the last one). WenZhou tears
are the only tears I subscribe to.
I am really hoping I kept them in character for this :')
please let me know if I made any mistakes <3

Chapter Notes

Sorry it took so long for me to writ this. College classes started up and 3 days after
that, my grandfather passed. Its been a really rough couple of weeks and I was
struggling to really do anything but lay in my bed and listen to Lu Han or Coldplay lol.
Things are steadily getting better, but I am still catching up to school work so I haven't
had much time to write. I am not 100% sure where I will take this honestly. I love a
good happy ending but I am also a sucker for bitter-sweet endings. Tell me what you
guys would be interested in seeing. Maybe I will do both???? Like an ending and then
an alternate ending???? Idk yet lol.
Stay healthy and thank you for reading <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Clad in his favorite pink robes, Wen Kexing was humming to himself as he led the horse down
the dirt path. He had been gone for longer than he had wanted, but he was finally nearing the gates
of Four Season’s Manor. His eyes drifted to the petals floating down from the cherry trees and the
smile on his lips only grew. Serenity flowed through his entire being. He had missed this. Home .
All he wanted was to be wrapped in his zhiji’s arms, drinking wine together and watching their
silly little disciple train.

Kexing pulled on the horse's reins to stop it from moving any further. He frowned as a wave of
anxiety washed over him. These were not his emotions. They belonged to his mate, Zhou Zishu.
He shut his eyes and tried to focus, feeling his pulse quicken. Letting go of a breath, he was able to
feel his zhiji. He was close, perhaps even closer to him than to the manor itself. The was strong and
he could feel heat at the base of his neck where his scar was still healing. It was possible that
Kexing was less than even one li away from him. “A-Xu…” he mumbled to himself, looking
around as his own panic began to mingle with his zhiji’s.

Wen Kexing got down from his horse, quickly finding a tree to tether it to. He took in a deep
inhale and shut his eyes, searching for Zishu’s scent. He walked without looking, following the
scent that had been tantalizing him from the very first moment he had caught onto the aroma. It
was musky and simple, tinged with notes of citrus. It was the scent of Zhou Zishu.

The qianyuan’s feet carried him down to the riverbank, stopping as he finally found what he
was looking for. Zhou Zishu was perched on a large rock near the water, knees drawn up to his
chest and face hidden by his hands. His shoulders were shaking and that was when Wen Kexing’s
heart turned to ice. Zhou Zishu was crying. He had come out here to cry in private.

The younger man nearly collapsed right there, heart breaking at the sight. His zhiji was so
strong, so proud, whatever had caused him to cry so openly… Kexing felt his blood boil, heart
breaking as he rushed over to soothe the other man. “A-Xu.”

The elder looked up, finally hearing Kexing as the man approached. “L-Lao Wen…” His
senses were fading, he truly hadn’t sensed the other’s presence. Zhou Zishu stood, turning to face
the other. His voice was hardly above a whisper, tears tracing down his pale face to make glittering
patterns under the sunlight. He looked worse than he had before Kexing had left for three days.
“Lao Wen…” He took a step but his knees buckled and Zishu collapsed.

Wen Kexing had been there before Zishu’s knees even hit the stone ground. He hauled him
into a hug, keeping him steady. “A-Xu, why… Why are you crying?” He felt almost breathless, his
own eyes starting to burn with tears. His throat tightened and he cupped Zishu’s cheeks, wiping the
man’s tears away. Immediately he changed his pheromones, enveloping Zishu in a more calming
scent.

Zhou Zishu tried with all his might to keep himself together but as soon as he looked into
Kexing’s eyes, blown wide with worry; he broke down. The man gripped onto him, arms tightly
wrapping around Kexing’s waist. Tears poured down his sunken cheeks and he breathed in deeply,
trying desperately to inhale the qianyuan’s scent. He couldn’t smell anything anymore and he
wished he would be enveloped in the flowery scent of Wen Kexing.

The younger man had wide eyes, rubbing Zishu’s back as the man cried and frantically tried to
scent him. “A-Xu… can… can you not…?” His voice dropped and his eyes began to glitter with
tears. “Oh A-Xu…” Kexing drew him in closer. He wished he could pull Zishu into himself, letting
their bones and flesh turn into one. If he could keep Zishu within himself, protect him from the
world, he would never have to see the agony written all over his face, ever again. Having Zishu
shaking against him, it made his heart burn with sadness and anger. Whoever caused his A-Xu to
cry like this, would pay with their life. He carefully lowered them both to the ground, hushing
Zishu gently. “A-Xu… Why are you out here?” He stroked hair from his zhiji’s face, frowning at
how disheveled Zishu looked. His hair was in disarray and his robes were rumpled. There were
bags under his eyes and his pallor was extremely pale, skin looking almost grayish. He let his
hands cup the older man’s cheeks, thumbs gently brushing salty tears away.

The older man had stopped his sobbing after a few minutes, but had not moved away. He had
brought himself closer, burying his face in Wen Kexing’s silk robes. His movements were sluggish
and his frame still quivered. After a few more minutes, Zhou Zishu picked his head up and looked
his zhiji in the eyes. He had no idea how he was going to do this. Now that he was closer, Wen
Kexing could see even more of Zishu’s distress. His body looked frailer than it had and he
suspected that the trembling was not only due to Zishu’s crying, but from the cold. There was a
light breeze coming off of the water, but with Zishu’s sickly constitution, it was most likely too
much for hin. “Lao Wen, I…” His voice was hoarse from crying and the qianyuan hushed him,
kissing his temple.

“Don’t… Let's go back to the manor and get you into bed. We can talk later when you are
feeling better, A-Xu.” He was removing his top layer, draping the pink fabric over Zishu’s
shoulders. The man stroked his zhiji’s face, frowning as he leaned in to kiss his forehead. “Can you
walk?”
 Zhou Zishu desperately wanted to stand up, himself. He did not want to be as weak as he felt.
He did not want Wen Kexing to see him like this. “I-I can’t…” His voice strained with the tears he
was holding back. He was frustrated and upset, not even able to look him in the eyes anymore.

Wen Kexing nodded and put his forehead against Zhou Zishu’s, making the man face him
again. “Okay A-Xu. I’ll carry you.” He pulled away and with not even a strain, he lifted Zishu into
his arms and carried him bridal style over to his awaiting horse. Zhou Zishu kept himself close,
rejoicing in the warmth of Kexing’s arms and keeping his face hidden so that Kexing would not
see anymore of his tears. He felt safe . His eyes shut and the man didn’t open them again until he
was being lifted off of the horse once they had returned to the manor.

Wen Kexing had made Zhou Zishu strip down to his bottom layers and the man then got him
tightly tucked into their bed, piling furs onto him. It was early spring out so there was a slight
coolness to the air, but Zhou Zishu was shaking as if it was the dead of winter. Kexing took Zishu’s
wrist, feeling his pulse and checking his qi. His face contorted in worry and confusion. Zhou
Zishu’s hand was ice cold but his pulse was healthy. His qi seemed weaker than normal. “A-Xu,
what’s going on?” Wen Kexing was stroking Zishu’s hair slightly, gripping the former assassin’s
hand tightly, Zishu gripping onto it with all his strength. He was sending in a very slight trickle of
his own qi, hoping to ease his unwell zhiji.

Zhou Zishu looked away, turning his head and staring at the wall. This is not how he had
wanted to tell Wen Kexing. “The nails have been acting up.” He tried to lie, knowing that Wen
Kexing could see through him in every single way. The Ghost Valley Master frowned and looked
down at their entwined hands.

“A-Xu…” He didn’t know what to say, swallowing. “Please.. Don’t lie to me.” His voice was
almost a whisper, his face etched with pain, eyes downcast. Zhou Zishu immediately felt guilty
when he looked to the younger man. “I know that something is wrong. It’s… I can’t tell what's
wrong. Please, tell me what’s wrong, A-Xu.”

Zhou Zishu swallowed, tears beading in his eyes once more. “Lao Wen…” He felt his throat
close as tears strangled his voice. A sob left his lips and he put his arm up to hide his eyes, more
sobs racking his body. “Lao Wen…!” He was weeping, face ashen as he pulled his hand from the
qianyuan. He was in mental agony, thoughts starting to once again overtake him. He had managed
to sit himself up, hands covering his face as he wept.

Wen Kexing had wide eyes, staring at the man but not moving to touch him yet. He had never
heard such anguish from Zishu’s cries before. He had never seen this much pain… “A-Xu…
Whatever it is… We will get through it together.” He managed to find his voice as tears once again
began to stripe down his cheeks.

Zhou Zishu shook his head, hiccuping as he looked to Wen Kexing. His eyes were bloodshot,
face only looking paler in the dim lighting of their room. He could be mistaken for a ghost if
Kexing didn’t know any better. The older man looked pained, tormented and angry. Wen Kexing
could see sadness and regret in his eyes as well as pure anguish. “Zhou Zishu…” His voice died
down as he dissolved into tears. He finally reached for the other man, grabbing his wrists and
pulling him into a crushing hug.

Zhou Zishu tightly clamped his arms around his zhiji, sobbing into his shoulder. He was so
scared. He was scared of Kexing’s reaction, scared of the future. “L-Lao Wen…” His voice was
trembling, words muffled as his face was being pushed against the man’s shoulder. “I’m…” Zishu
swallowed and shut his eyes, pulling one arm away from Kexing to place it on his abdomen,
grounding himself. “Lao Wen, I’m… pregnant.” He tried to keep his voice steady and flat but he
could hear the mournful way he had spoken and the man bit his bottom lip, tightly screwing his
eyes shut.

Wen Kexing felt like the air had been taken from his lungs. His ears were ringing and for the
moment, he couldn’t feel anything but numbness. He didn’t feel Zishu’s tears wetting his shoulder
and he couldn’t feel Zishu’s quick puffs of breath hitting his neck. ‘ Pregnant? ’ His thoughts
jumbled together, trying to find meaning in that word. He tore it apart and let it sink in. He let his
eyes drift to Zishu’s face. The man’s lips were moving but Wen Kexing could not hear over the
pounding of his own heart.

Zhou Zishu had watched the color drain from Kexing’s face and he immediately regretted
telling him. “I-’m sorry.. I didn’t… I thought…” he was stuttering over his words, trying to make
himself find an explanation. The look of utter shock and horror on Kexing’s face made Zishu feel
nauseous. He wanted to pull away, to get out of this room. He felt suffocated.

Wen Kexing was coming back to himself, hands feeling the soft furs beneath him. He heard
Zishu crying. He blinked and blinked and then let his eyes focus. Zhou Zishu was in front of him,
gripping onto his elbows and crying. He looked so mournful and pained and Kexing felt his heart
break even further. “A… A-Xu…” He let out a breath that he had not let out and the man then
pulled his zhiji to his chest, disbelief still etching his features. “A-Xu… Do… Do you want to…
keep it?” He had Zhou Zishu cradled in his arms, not letting the older man move away. He forced
himself to looked down at the man, knowing that he would see Zishu’s pained expression again.

Zhou Zishu looked up at him and the man swallowed back his tears. “I…I do…” He had
agonized over this decision since he had found out. The man could not abandon his own child. He
could not fail them. He wanted to at least try and bring them into this world. They would be loved.
They would be taken care of. Even if he were to die, they would have a father. “Lao Wen… I… I
want to have this baby…” A new expression shined through his despair. Determination. “I want to
have this baby.” His voice was stronger than it had been before. He had a hand still pressed to his
middle.

Wen Kexing swallowed, readying himself to ask what hung in the air between them. “If… If
you are not… If…” He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “Zhou Zishu, I cannot live without
you. What if you die?”

Zhou Zishu’s lips upturned into one of his mournful smiles. “I am already dying, Lao Wen. Da
Wu said it was a small chance that I would survive the nails removal.” He looked down to his hand
that was pressed against his belly. “I want to have this baby, Lao Wen. Even if…” The kunze took
another deep breath and then looked at the qianyuan. “Even if it kills me. I want to bring this baby
into the world.” His voice was firm with absolution.

There was a part of Wen Kexing that was crying from pure joy. His zhiji was carrying his
baby. They would have a baby together. The part taking control of his actions was mourning. He
was cursing himself for not being careful enough. He blamed himself. The man shook his head,
sadly smiling as he cupped Zishu’s cheek. He put his forehead to the other man’s and sobbed, tears
pouring down faster than rain during a summer storm. His hand gripped Zishu’s nape, keeping the
man close. “I… If you want to have the baby… I will do everything I can to take care of you… I
love you Zhou Zishu. I love you… I will find a way to remove the nails and keep you here… If…
If not for me, then for our baby…” His lips trembled as they pressed into Zishu’s and at this point,
 both men were crying.

Zhou Zishu tightly wrapped his arms around Wen Kexing’s neck, keeping his face hidden
against the warmth of the younger man’s skin. Wen Kexing had his arms around Zishu’s back,
hands pressed into his shoulders, his own eyes hidden in Zishu’s white sleeping robe.

The pair stayed in this position until neither had anymore tears to shed. At that point, Wen
Kexing untangled himself from Zishu and then carefully arranged him in the bed. He couldn’t
speak, his throat feeling raw. The younger man tucked Zishu in, leaning down to place a gentle kiss
to his temple. He cleared his throat but still kept his voice low. “I’ll go make us some tea. You
need to rest.” A warm hand stroked the remaining tears from Zishu’s pale skin.

Zhou Zishu gave a nod, face looking even more lethargic. He shut his eyes, breathing
steadying out before Wen Kexing had even moved away. He needed air. His head felt heavy and he
felt sick to his stomach. He stood on unsteady legs and left the room, sliding the door shut
carefully. He took a few more steps, eyes unfocused and body close to toppling over.

Grief was flooding his heart and mind, making him feel like he was sinking. The more he
thought about that word. Pregnant . The more his stomach twisted into knots and his head spun.
Kexing broke into a sprint, rushing out into the inner courtyard. He threw himself onto his knees,
bile rising in his throat. He stared down at his shaking hands, small stones and pebbles stabbing
into his palms. His eyes shut and he heaved. He could not stop the queasiness, his stomach roiling.
The world was spinning and his eyes watered. He retched, releasing the breakfast he had eaten
earlier in the day. His throat burned as he finished and he felt dizzier. Kexing let himself fall to the
side. His head hurt. His limbs felt like they were made of pure iron and his body was feeling numb.
He couldn’t move. Glassy eyes shut and he lost consciousness, the early spring breeze causing
flower petals to fall over him, landing in his hair and on his robes.

Chapter End Notes

I am hoping for the next chapter to have a bit more comfort and a little less hurt but we
shall see. Our boys are hurting.
 Acceptance
Chapter Summary

Wen Kexing accepts their future and gets cared for by his A-Xu

Chapter Notes

Sorry that this is so short! I am taking a small break from Fate to work on my other
WenZhou story and because I am not sure where I am going to take this next. This was
not beta read so please let me know if I missed any mistakes. Thank you for reading
<3

Zhou Zishu had woken without pain. It was odd for him, but he refused to question it. He
rolled onto his side, expecting to face his partner- The spot next to him was cold and untouched.
His eyes widened and the man quickly sat up, looking around. It was deep into the night now, but
not late enough that his nails were starting their torments. “Lao Wen?” He shifted onto his knees
and took in a calming breath, shutting his eyes. With his sense being dulled, he could not even feel
Kexing through their bond. The man shifted to get up but stopped when his door quickly slid open.
He let out a yelp of surprise, staring at his disciple. Zhou Zishu hadn’t heard him coming.

Chengling stood breathless in the doorway, eyes beading with tears. “Shifu!” He rushed into
the room and threw himself down next to the bed. Zhou Zishu stared at him expectantly, eyes wide
as he reacted to the teenagers panic. “It’s shishu! I found him in the courtyard… He… He won’t
wake up. I checked his pulse and it seems fine but…” The child was in tears now and Zishu
quickly stood up, putting a hand to his shoulder. “He… He is outside, shifu… He…” The boy was
trembling and Zhou Zishu squeezed his shoulder, nodding.

“Take me to him.” Zhou Zishu didn’t even bother throwing on an outer robe, slipping on his
boots as he left. He quickly walked, following Chengling out into the night. It was much cooler
than it already had been during the day and the kunze shuttered, cursing quietly. The man watched
as his disciple picked up the pace, dashing into the innermost courtyard. Zhou Zishu ran after him.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his zhiji on the ground. He was frozen in fear,
flashbacks from his days in Tian Chuang… Dead bodies, bodies or people he loved… He shuttered
again and shut his eyes. The man shook his head and then carefully moved around Chengling,
kneeling down next to Kexing’s head. “Lao Wen?” He brought a trembling hand up to stroke his
cheek lightly. It was still warm despite the chill in the air. Zhou Zishu let out a sigh as relief
flooded over him and the man stood up, looking at his disciple. “Go and make your shishu some
herbal tea. Bring it to our room when you are finished.”

The young boy nodded and then ran off, leaving Zishu alone with the unconscious man. He
knelt back down and maneuvered Kexing into his arms. Despite how weak he felt, Zhou Zishu still
had a great amount of physical strength. With a huff of exertion, he hoisted Wen Kexing into his
arms and stood. He had gathered his arms under the unconscious man’s knees and around his
shoulders, pressing him to his chest. Kexing was taller than he was so it was a bit awkward, but
Zhou Zishu cradled the man into himself. Protecting his face from the cold. He could feel warm
breaths puffing out against his neck and sighed once more.

Zhou Zishu carried Wen Kexing back to their room and then carefully, he set him onto their
bed. He removed the man’s boots and took his hair down, tucking him in. He stared down at him
with worry, hand ghosting over the features of his face. He looked upset even in slumber, his
eyebrows scrunched in worry and his lips parted slightly. It was only a hunch, but Zishu assumed
that it was his fault. He had caused Kexing a large amount of stress. Zishu knew how Kexing was
already handling his impending death. He wished he could have hidden his state for just a while
longer. The kunze let out a sigh and put his head down, hands clutching one of Kexing’s. “Lao
Wen…” Zishu shut his eyes, focusing as he began to release a steady stream of qi into the other
man, bringing the limp hand to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the scarred fingers.

A warm hand pressed against his cheek and Zishu’s eyes flashed open, cast downwards to look
at the qianyuan. “A-Xu…” He had a weak smile gracing his lips. His thumb gently rubbed beneath
Zishu’s bottom lip, allowing his other hand to still be held. “You shouldn’t be using your qi like
this…” He brought Zishu’s hand to his own lips and placed a soft kiss on his knuckles. “I’m fine, I
promise. I just… I think I blacked out…” he raised a hand to his temple and groaned slightly. His
head felt like it had rocks tumbling around in his brain.

The older man felt like crying again and he fought the urge, blinking until his eyes no longer
burned. A tear was streaking down the left side of his face but he ignored its existence. “I… I
won’t make you suffer further, Lao Wen.” He had his head down, his hand being gripped by the
younger man. “I will leave so you don’t… you don’t have to witness my death…” He was
trembling again and Kexing’s eyes opened wider. Despite the pounding in his head and the spots in
his vision, he sat up and quickly grabbed onto his lover's shoulders, turning him so that they faced
each other. He pushed back the dizziness threatening to knock him down, focusing on the man in
front of him.

“Zhou Zishu.” His voice was stern, eyes burning with a fury that Zishu had never before seen
directed at him. “You will not abandon me.” He moved his hands to cup the man’s cheeks. “If you
want to keep this baby, then I will be here taking care of you.” Tears glided down his cheeks,
bottom lip wobbling as he tried to hold himself back from sobbing. “I will make sure you are
healthy. I will hold you when you feel unwell and I will do everything in my power to keep you
alive. A-Xu, you are not alone in this and I do not want you to be.” He leaned in and gently placed
a kiss to the man’s lips. “We will have this baby and you will live to see them grow up.”

His head was spinning and his vision was blackening but he continued to stare into his zhiji’s
eyes. Kexing fell forward and was caught by Zhou Zishu. The man was unconscious again. He was
layed back down, Zishu stroking his hair away from his eyes. “My stubborn shidi…” He smiled
sadly and then placed a kiss between the man’s eyes. He got up and left, going to help Chengling,
needing to distract himself.

Wen Kexing woke up to the sounds of birds. He felt a damp cloth over his eyes and the man
removed it, opening them. It only took a moment to adjust to the dimly lit room and he frowned.
His head no longer hurt, but it felt heavy. His breath hitched as he looked to his left. Zhou Zishu
was on the floor next to him, sleeping. His hand was next to a bucket of water and his other held
another rag. His head was resting on the edge of the bed and he was slumped forward, shoulders
 rising and falling with his deep breaths.

The position couldn’t be comfortable so the older man had most likely passed out from
exhaustion while he cared for Wen Kexing. Guilt flooded his head and he moved hair from Zishu’s
face, leaning down to peck a kiss onto his temple. “A-Xu.” he let his voice stay as a whisper, not
wanting to startle the man.

With a light groan, Zhou Zishu shifted. He moved to push himself onto the bed, body achy and
mind too tired to talk. Wen Kexing carefully pulled him onto it, bringing Zishu’s body close to his
as he snuggled back into the bedding. “A-Xu.”

Zhou Zishu was unconscious again, breathing rhythmically against Wen Kexing’s shoulder.
The younger man held him close, stroking his back. He shut his eyes and let his thoughts wander.
He was terrified of losing Zhou Zishu. Him being pregnant while he was already in such poor
health… If it were anyone but his zhiji, he would try and force them to see reason. He was not
going to survive having a baby. Not now. He glanced down at the man in his arms and then let his
eyes drift. He was staring at Zishu’s stomach. Slowly, he moved one hand to rest under Zishu’s
sleep shirt. He felt the breath within his lungs be knocked away as his palm rested on the small
swell of Zhou Zishu’s middle. Tears sprung to his eyes and he shut them, sending in his qi to
search for the life that his zhiji was growing. Warmth embraced his own qi, something reaching out
and caressing him, much as Zishu did with his own qi. But this was not Zhou Zishu. Kexing kept
his hand close to his partner’s belly, crying as he let his qi mingle with that of their baby.

He knew at that moment that he would do anything to protect them. He already loved them
and he understood why Zhou Zishu had finalized his decision so quickly. He let himself look back
at Zhou Zishu and the man kissed his collar bone, laying his head down on the pillow once more.
He would save his zhiji no matter what it took. With his hand still caressing Zhou Zishu’s middle,
Wen Kexing drifted back to sleep.

End Notes

Happy WenZhou Wednesday btw! Hope your week is going well and that your year is
starting out nicely. I am back to classes so :') pain and suffering but not the good kind
(angsty fics).

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