The Vanishing Pumpkin

by Tony Johnston
Adapted for Reader’s Theater
by Cathy Conrad

CHARACTERS:

Narrator 1 Narrator 2 Wizard

Ghoul Old Man Old Woman
Varmint Rapscallion

Narrator 1 There was a 700-year-old woman. There

was an 800 year-old man. They were
rocking by the fire when the sun came up.

Old Woman Old, Man, that sun reminds me of

something.

Old Man What?

Old Woman Pumpkins. And pumpkins remind me of

Halloween. And that’s what day it is.

Old Man Lucky Lizards!!! Fetch the pumpkin

we’ve been saving, and let’s make a
pumpkin pie.
Narrator 2 The old woman would have done that, but
the pumpkin had vanished from sight.

Narrator 1 She looked in the coffeepot.

Narrator 2 No pumpkin.

Narrator 1 She looked in the bed.

Narrator 2 No pumpkin.

Narrator 1 She looked in her purse of magic

powders.

Narrator 2 No pumpkin. Not a single one!

Old Woman Snitched!

Narrator 1 She cried in her 700-year-old voice.

Old Woman Our Halloween pumpkin’s been snitched!

Old Man Great Snakes!

Narrator 2 croaked the old man.

Old Man Who would dare snitch a pumpkin from an

800 year-old-man?

Narrator 1 And they set off down the road.

Narrator 2 They went as fast as a 700 year-old-

woman and an 800 year-old-man can. In fact,
they fairly flew.

Narrator 1 They met a ghoul perched on a fence.

Narrator 2 The old man flew up and hollered out,

Old Man Ghoul, where is it?

Ghoul Dunno.

Narrator 1 And he didn’t. He didn’t even know what it

was.

Old Woman Tell him what it is.

Old Man Our pumpkin. Where is it?

Ghoul Dunno.

Narrator 2 And he began to search for the pumpkin.

Narrator 1 He looked underneath himself.

Narrator 2 He looked behind himself.

Narrator 1 He looked behind the old woman. He

l ooked behind the old man.

Old Man Stop that, or I’ll do you such a trick!

Ghoul Please do.

Narrator 2 So the old man made him thin as an

onionskin. And he peered right through
him, hoping to find the pumpkin hidden in
a sneaky place.

Narrator 1 The old woman clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 2 The Ghoul clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 1 Even the old man clapped at that trick.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 2 But they did not find the pumpkin. So the

old man made him a normal ghoul again.

Old Man Oh, where is the pumpkin? I want my

pumpkin pie!

Narrator 1 So they set off down the road.

Narrator 2 They went as fast as a 700 year-old-

woman and an 800 year-old-man can. In fact,
they fairly flew.

Narrator 1 The Ghoul came right behind. He wanted

to see more tricks (He wanted some
pumpkin pie too).

Narrator 2 They met a rapscallion picking

mushrooms.

Narrator 1 The old man flew up and hollered out.

Old Man Rapscallion, where’s the...the...the...?

Old Woman Pumpkin!

Old Man Exactly! Where is it?

Narrator 2 The rapscallion thought about that. He

looked behind a rock.

Narrator 1 No pumpkin.
Narrator 2 He looked under his feet (Which was hard
to do)!

Narrator 1 No pumpkin.

Narrator 2 He looked in his mushrooms basket.

Narrator 1 No pumpkin.

Rapscallion Will a mushroom do?

Old Man Never! I shan’t eat mushroom pie. It’s

pumpkin pie or nothing!

Rapscallion Then it’s nothing.

Narrator 2 He said grinning.

Old Man Rapscallion, don’t be fresh with an 800

year-old-man, or I’ll do such a trick!

Rapscallion Please do.

Narrator 1 So the old man turned him upside down,

there between earth and sky, to shake that
pumpkin out.

Narrator 2 The old woman clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 1 The ghoul clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 2 The rapscallion clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 1 Even the old man clapped at that fine

trick.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 2 But not one single pumpkin fell from the

rapscallion. So the old man put him down
again.

Old Man Oh, where is that pumpkin? I want my

pumpkin pie!

Narrator 1 So they set off down the road.

Narrator 2 They went as fast as a 700 year-old-

woman and an 800 year-old-man can. In fact,
they nearly flew.

Narrator 1 The ghoul and the rapscallion came right

behind. They wanted to see more tricks
(They wanted some pumpkin pie too).

Narrator 2 They met a varmint right then and there.

Narrator 1 The old man flew up and bawled out,

Old Man Varmint, did you see a pumpkin go by? A

big fat one?

Varmint A great big fat one?

Old Man YES! YES!

Narrator 2 cried the old man as he jumped up and

down.
Varmint Nope.

Old Man Wicked! Wicked! Wicked! I’ll do you

such a trick for tricking me!

Varmint Please do.

Narrator 1 So the old man turned him into a black cat

and gave him lots of fleas.

Narrator 2 The old woman clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 1 The ghoul clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 2 The rapscallion clapped.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 1 Even the old man clapped at his own

trick.

Everyone CLAP!

Narrator 2 The varmint scratched.

Everyone SCRATCHED!

Narrator 1 But no matter how he scratched, he never

scratched a pumpkin. So the old man
brought him back again.
Old Man Oh, where is that pumpkin? I want my
pumpkin pie.

Narrator 2 So they set off.

Narrator 1 They went as fast as a 700 year-old-
woman and an 800 year-old-man can. In fact,
they nearly flew.

Narrator 2 The ghoul and the rapscallion and the

varmint came right behind. They wanted
to see more tricks (They wanted some
pumpkin pie too).

Narrator 1 They met a 900 year-old-wizard, rocking

by a fire as the sun went down.

Narrator 2 The old man flew up and he saw that it

was no fire at all.

Narrator 1 It was...the pumpkin, carved into a jack-o’-

lantern and grinning from ear to ear.

Narrator 2 The old man felt like yelling. But you don’t
yell at a 900 year-old-wizard.

Narrator 1 He might turn you into a lizard.

Wizard I borrowed your pumpkin.

Old Man Snitched!

Wizard Borrowed! For my jack-o’-lantern.

Nothing but the best for me!

Old Man Great Grizzlies! I’ll never have my

pumpkin pie

Wizard Pie? That reminds me of something.

Old Woman What?

Wizard Pie reminds me of pie. And when I finished
my jack-o’-lantern, that’s what I made for
you.

Old Man WHERE!

Wizard Oh, dear. It was just here.

Narrator 2 And he began to search for the pumpkin

pie.

Narrator 1 He looked inside the jack-o’-lantern.

Narrator 2 No pie.

Narrator 1 He looked under his hat.

Narrator 2 And...there it was (along with a bat).

Narrator 1 So they all sat down and gobbled it up.

Narrator 2 Now...what do you think of that?

THE END