19/03/2019 The Homebrewery - NaturalCrit

The Longest Night Ever

In a kingdom of corruption and despair, a group of adventurers get drunk.

An adventure for tier 1 characters

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, D&D, Wizards of the Coast, Forgotten Realms, Ravenloft, Eberron, the dragon ampersand, Ravnica and all other Wizards of the Coast product names, and
their respective logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast in the USA and other countries. This work contains material that is copyright Wizards of the Coast and/or other authors.
Such material is used with permission under the Community Content Agreement for Dungeon Masters Guild.
All other original material in this work is copyright 2019 by Samuele Zanchini and published under the Community Content Agreement for Dungeon Masters Guild.

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The Longest Night Ever: Preface

Adventures often talk about great deeds, marvellous journeys
and formidable foes.
The joy, the sense of accomplishment after defeating an evil
archmage and saving the country or, possibly, the whole
world is priceless, and it's something everyone should be able
to experience at least once in their lifetime.
If you, brave hero, are looking for any of this search
elsewhere, for this is not the adventure you're seeking.
The Longest Night Ever is (supposed to be) a light-hearted
one-shot which favours roleplaying over combat, ideal
whenever the party do not want to deal with epic and serious
stuff and would rather hang around without killing everything
in sight.
Being RP-heavy my suggestion is to run it with a moderately
small party, so that everyone can have their own fair amount
of time to shine; that said, this is not a golden rule and the
adventure can be adapted for a bigger number of players
(with the risk of some stealing the spotlight, of course)
Regarding the level the adventure is calibrated for a level 2-3
party, although adjusting it is, again, an easy task; the only
clause is to run it for a Tier 1 party, because stronger spells
will obviously break the game, and that's not the point of this
supposedly cheerful story.
I mean, one could technically make it work for a stronger
parties as well (being drunk makes you unable to cast some
spells, what a pity I know right) , but might as well avoid that
issue altogether.
As for the duration, my personal experience tells me that it
highly depends on your players and how engrossed they get
by the circumstances; if I were to give a rough estimation I
would probably say at least 3-4 hours but again, take it with a
grain of salt.
Do note the DM can "artificially" extend the duration by
throwing one of the multiple hazards/subplot in the module,
thus preventing it from finishing too soon.
Lastly, I'd like to specify English is not my native language,
and that the reader is bound to run into a (hopefully
contained) multitude of mistakes; nevertheless I do hope the
general meaning will always be as clear as possible, and I'm
available to elucide possible confusing excerpts if needed.

Adventure made with The Homebrewery.

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Table Of Contents
1 Cover Page
2 The Longest Night Ever: Preface
3 What truly happened: a brief summary
3.1 The Longest Night Ever
4 Personal features
4.1
4.1.1 Feature 1
4.1.2 Feature 2
4.1.3 Feature 3
4.1.4 Feature 4
4.1.5 Feature 5
5 Beginning: the awakening
6 Return to Mirin
6.1 The Missing Bride
6.1.1 Evolving the plot
7 Mirin,the spring city of wonders
7.1 First Half: Locations
7.2 Pawn Shop
7.3 Mudmonger aka, Best Pig of the Year
7.4 The Laughing Soup
7.5 Mayor's Residence
7.6 The Usual Place
7.7 The Sewers
7.8 Second Half: Character-driven events
7.9 Another Wedding?!
7.10 Until Death Do Us Apart
7.11 The Rival
7.11.1 Regnor's Trial
7.11.2 What Went Wrong
7.12 Gangsters
7.12.1 Gangsters, First Choice
7.12.2 Gangsters, Second Choice
7.12.3 Possible Fight
7.13 Thieves, Again
7.14 Now what? Now Orcs!
7.15 What are you saying? Of course I'm an orc,
duh!
8 We're done for real, I swear: a quick recap
9 Epilogues
9.1 A fair wedding
9.2 Scapegoats
10 Appendix
10.1 NPC Index
10.2 Magic Vials
10.3 Riddle
11 Timeline
11.1.1 Night
11.1.2 First Day
11.1.3 Second Day

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What truly happened: a brief summary
I
t is most important for the DM to have a solid grasp
of what happened in the fateful night, all
consequences included.
The required knowledge for that is split into the next
chapters, with the following summary providing only
a rough backbone of a wider plot: in order to
understand each point in its entirety it is mandatory
to read Personal Features and Mirin, the Spring City of
Wonders chapters, which will explain how the nocturnal
events translate in-game while giving more detailed
information about everything.
Beginning: The Awakening and Return to Mirin, covering
the prologue and the preliminary chapter, are the only
guaranteed parts the party will play as written for sure; after
that point, given the nature of the adventure, it's impossible to
compile a linear set of the events the party will certainly
follow throughout the session in order to reach the ending.
TL;DR a DM has to read everything.
Do note some plot points (and annexed features) can be
either altered or outright removed if the DM desires to create
a simpler/different adventure while keeping the overall plot.
The Longest Night Ever
After fulfilling an important quest for the mayor the party
find themselves in Mirin's most popular tavern, "The
Drunken Dice", to celebrate the recent achievement: after
few...dozens of shots they got involved with a (supposedly
rigged) gambling circle local criminals run in there, and
ended up winning a fair amount of cash, more than what the
criminal higher-ups prearranged.
The rigged game consisted of yet another drinking contest,
whose beers used are actually drugged in order to knock out
unaware contenders.
What the mobs didn't consider though is that a hero is no
small fry and a trivial, albeit powerful, poison won't be enough
to overwhelm them: that's exactly what happened, and while
the party suffered huge blows (namely getting high to say the
least) they managed to win both the challenge and the prize –
multiple times, even if the thug was not supposed to bet that
crazy amount of money.
This small event led to unutterable consequences
throughout the long night.
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Drunker and richer, they decided it was time to temporarily
stop drinking and doing something more socially-useful, such
as organizing a surprise hen do party for the mayor's
daughter, whose wedding would take place in the immediate
future.
What they did not know was that the groom was none other
than Halan Dyrr, heir of the local criminal gang and son of
the current boss, Nathar: after years of clashes and debates
between the mayor and the criminals both parts came to a
compromise, so that the gang would finally stop some of their
major illegal trades; Diane's wedding was of course part of
the agreement – one could even say the turning point.
To their delight they found a rather collaborative girl who
didn't hesitate to follow them in disguise once they crawled
into her room through the window.
Together with their new comrade they proceeded to visit and
wreak havoc many other taverns, meet new faces and make
additional enemies (more in the next chapters)
Between one tavern and a brawl fight they ended up in the
wedding place, full of stands in the making packed with
objects and wonders to be used during the party: a locked
coffer inside the illusionist's tent, whose contents would later
turned out to be a set of magical vials, caught their attention,
a fairly good reason to decide to steal it. The same fate would
befall to a pig, or rather the most famous pig in the whole
city, winner of the exuberant "Best pig of the year" contest,
but we shall talk about this later.
At some point of the night the party and the soon-to-be bride
retired to a small clearing just outside the city to rest, but as
they say curiosity killed the cat, and while she was taking a
peek a magic vial happened to crash and spill all over Diane,
turning her into a pig. (oh, the irony!)
The effect was going to wear out in two days at most, but the
heroes couldn't possibly know that, and amid the initial panic
(which would work off faster than the poison in their veins)
they went back to the city to seek help, only to swap the pork-
princess with a real one in the "Best pig of the year" paddock:
such a quest turned out to be too hard for them, and as they
fastly lost interest in it they opted to hang around with the
(wrong) pig instead.
After safely hiding the money in the sewers they went back
for some drinks, befouled countless inns and shops, and
finally returned to the same clearing they had visited before,
this time astride a wagon full of beer borrowed from a
merchant. Talking with a gang of orcs met alongside the way
and inviting them to the wedding was the natural conclusion
of such an escalation: having ended the night on a high note
they finally decided it was time to sit down and enjoy the
spring breeze, as their senses faded away together with the
awareness of what happened.
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Personal features
W
hile it's true the characters don't remember a
single fact from the previous night, a lot of
people do, and it won't be long before our
beloved heroes have to face the consequences
of their acts.
This section's purpose is to give more qualitative details
regarding the heroes' deeds, and how such actions affect the
adventure: do note the following information are by no means
absolute and mandatory as written for the purposes of the
plot itself, meaning that you can alter, make use of or even
remove some of them however you prefer (e.g. multiple
features can be used on the same character if desired)
Each paragraph, called feature #, will be briefly describing
what a certain target (often referred to as "the selected
character" or simply "the character") notices at the start of
the adventure, and then the meaning and background info of
such a set-up; depending on the "complexity" of the feature
further explanations or tips/ideas may be given.
What's left to do is deciding whoever is getting which feature
before starting: make sure to pick the funniest combinations
available within your party, such as the character with lowest
CHA being the heartbreaker, or the weak wizard becoming
the ultimate fist-fighter.
I've
ve been in this place before!
An interesting gimmick to be used throughout the
adventure is the Deja-vu effect:
effect a specific place, line
or even thought may trigger a partial recollection, a
possible hint to overcome a hurdle.
Consider using this trickery whenever the
characters are missing a (perhaps obvious) detail,
or simply just for fun!
Feature 1
"I just want you to know I think you're truly pretty, and I was
wondering if you could get me another drink."
A party member wakes up with an engagement ring stuck
on their finger.
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How come?
It didn't take long for Diane to blow off steam and confide her
real feelings about the incoming marriage to the party and, in
particular, to the selected character: while she doesn't mind
her spouse and their union will most certainly lead to a
brighter future for the city, she was still forced into a political
marriage that defies her romantic idea of "true love".
Now, a common fact is that drunkards are not so good at
grasping concepts, which is exactly why the selected member
either misunderstood or forgot half of her talk and, amazed
by what she (partly) said, decided it was time to look for a
partner.
A lot of contenders were flattered, some hearts stolen, but the
two major conquests were most certainly Josette and Bella:
the former, a sluggish girl whose father is eager to get rid of;
the latter, a crazy hag who has never experience true love.
It appears Josette was truly captivated by the character, who
seized the moment and bought her an engagement ring
from a merchant who happened to be in the same tavern.
Bella, met and seduced in a dark alley while she was hunting
rats as usual, is unaware of that, and would probably snap at
the sole sight of the ring.
More info in "Until Death Do Us Apart" and "Another
Wedding?!"
Feature 2
"Clothes don't make the man."
A party member wakes up in a fancy long dress, or at least
what's left of it – it is spoiled, with emphasis on the lower half,
by mud and a fair amount of unknown secretions, its old pure
colour now turned into an unpleasant ochre.
Make sure to describe how it doesn't suit its new host both in
size and style, and to re-evaluate the AC.
While the dress may not be the best armor in circulation it's a
great tool to hide beings or tiny objects underneath it: small
creatures hide with advantage if the dress is used in the
process!
How come?
Walking around with a noble girl would've been a hard task
even for seasoned heroes, which is why Diane had to be
disguised, one way or another.
A party member either swapped clothes or lent part of it (for
example a long coat or cape) so that she could cover her well-
known face and gaudy attire.
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This feature highly depends on the party's composition and
races, adjust it accordingly: in order for a character to swap
clothes with Diane their bodies must be somewhat
compatible; moreover Diane won't wear medium or heavy
armors.
• If a character and Diane swapped clothes it's easy to see
why the former is wearing such attire at the start of the
adventure: the usual outfit can be found in the pawn shop, as
Diane later decided to trade them for comfier clothes (case A)
• If not a single party member has suitable clothes for Diane
the selected character decided to get one as a keepsake while
visiting Diane's room, and later wear it while Diane was
choosing a better dress at the pawn shop; that's where the
original armor can be found. (case B)
If the only character not wearing medium or heavy armors is
not compatible with Diane's shape opt for Case B, and have
Pawn Shop's owner tune the dress so that it can roughly fit
the new owner: the result will be imprecise, the dress itself
irreparable and utterly ruined by approximate cuts and
patches.
More info in "The Pawn Shop" , "Mayor's Residence"
Feature 3
"You can put a crown on a pig, but you don't make it a queen."
A party member wakes up between a pig's warm paws. If
inspected (or visible depending on their usual attire) everyone
will notice a large violet "7" painted on their back. If washed
it will reveal to be water-proof, but it will fade and then
disappear in about ten hours without the need of being
treated.
How come?
Queen is not your average pig, for it has been crowned as the
best sow in the whole region - that's what the lil crown on its
head symbolizes. A big 1 marked on its back, Queen was
taken by mistake while it was minding its own muddy
business in a paddock.
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It has taken a liking to the selected member, and will not
only follow them but even show jealousy whenever someone
tries to meddle with their friendship.
The now transformed-as-a-pig Diane is still in the paddock,
unable to communicate or run away. The "Best pig of the
year" contest took place a few days before the adventure, and
saw six fierce pigs fight for supremacy. Upon the ending of
the competition they were marked (with a brander) according
to the final rank, and kept in a paddock near the main plaza.
Why does the character have a "7" on their back, you may
ask? Another character thought it would be funny to mark
them just like the pigs, what's more the character is the last
one in the rank! What a loser!
More info in "Best Pig of the Year" , "The Main Plaza"
Feature 4
"Or, as they say, pecunia non olet."
A party member wakes up with a note wrapped around a
golden coin and a violet pastel in their pocket; the note says
"Remember to retrieve the others, you know where" The
character can recognize their own handwriting.
How come?
Appointed to hold the bounty but too anxious to keep it with
themselves, the character decided to hide them in the sewers,
only to fetch them just before departing from the city. The
sewers are cold, deep and mostly filthy, so wide it is hard to
navigate through them without a map or a signal: the violet
pastel found in the illusionist's tent proved to be useful on
that matter, and the character tracked the path up until the
destination.
More info in "The Sewers" , "Gangsters", and "The Main
Plaza"
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Feature 5

"Is it true in your country everyone loves you, because

whoever doesn't is dead?"

A party member wakes up without their main weapon; in

its place they have a wooden sword.

How come?
Feeling confident about their own luck the character couldn't
help but placing more and more bets, uncaring of what they
might lose – their weapon, for example.
After a lukewarm start, they took part in more physical
gambles and managed to overcome and defeat a famous local
champion in a fist-fight.
Such an unforeseen win went to their head, and things
escalated quickly: passing off as "### ", a noble hero who
came from afar for the wedding, they went ahead and spread
countless rumours about themselves, many of which both
false and illogical.
As for the title itself, decide whatever works best with the
relative character, player and so on - make sure to pick up a
funny name!
Since then their deeds are on everyone's lips, and few brave
men will not hesitate to ask for confirmation of such glorious
tales. The character obviously has no idea about what they
narrated the previous night and will have to make up on the
fly and try to fix possible inconsistencies.
The local champion's pride is still affected and he will do his
best to restore it as soon as possible, possibly challenging the
character again.
More info in "The Rival" , "The Laughing Soup"

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Beginning: the awakening
There it is, the blazing sun! Always shining above our heads -
unless you live in the Underdark, that is.
What a shame that right now sunbeams are being a frigging
pain in the @ss, and won't stop dazzling your sight as you
struggle to open your eyes.
That faint stench of biles and booze you know damn too well
makes its way through your throat, together with that lil voice
behind your back silently judging you.
Well, at least it's not your talking cricket, because your
meninges are already suffering.
"How did we come to this?"
That's an actually interesting question - your brain replies - but
I don't care, just leave me alone for few seconds.
Moaning and puking noises reveal your pals' positions as they
wake up, but it's better if you do not point out some of them
have been wallowing in... something - no big deal though,
that's probably flour from their mill either way.
Your surrounding is everything but familiar: a quiet spreading
you have no recollection about - how could you anyway?
There's nothing else but damn trees around you, and no
matter the circumstances they always look the same.
Wait, do not give up: whilst it's true they're made of dead trees
those cylinders are not trees - they're barrels, for f#ck's sake.
What's more, they look kind of wrecked, as the debris
scattered here and there show.
Was it your doing perhaps?
Now that you think... no, you don't want to think at all right
now, just take a deep breath and chill out.
All filthy and scuzzy, still reeking of alcohol, you take your time
to assess the situation, realizing your mind is as empty as the
barrels around you.
First things first, describe both the area and the new odd
features each party member has unconsciously acquired; as
already stated you can split them as you see fit or even add
fresh ones, the Personal Features' purpose is just to give you
possible spurts.
Make sure to point out that they're still suffering the
after-effect of alcohol: whoever tries to stand up or, worse,
jump and walk instantly has to succeed a DC10/15
Dexterity (Acrobatics) Check in order not to fall on the
ground and/or puke.
Their minds hurt like hell and it's as if a giant hammer is
constantly hitting their brain, making each kind of reasoning
both hard to do and painful.
If a character is strong against poison (alcohol included)
underline that yourself, to make them understand something
is amiss.
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Areas: Southern side, Northern side, wood, main road.
Items of interest: coffer, barrels, trails of a wagon, footprints,
key, bonfires, shards of broken glass.
The spreading is about a mile from the city, its radius six
meters long.
The characters will be waking up in the southern side, amid
broken planks and debris, with no recollection of everything
that has happened in the past ten hours or so.
Remember to underline they're all dirty, especially in the
lower half of the body: a foreshadowing for a possible feature
(more info in "The Sewers" and "Personal Feature 4")
Regarding their usual equip (weapons aside) you can decide
whether they've lost it (in that case it's safely found in the
Pawn Shop, more info in "Pawn Shop") or they have it with
themselves.
Choose one random character: inside their pocket a rusty key
which appears to be somehow related to "The Usual Place",
as the name written on its key holder suggests: after few
seconds of pure oblivion the characters remembers that's
their hostel in Mirin, although none can recall going in there
since the previous morning (More info in "Thieves, Again" )
A dying bonfire with few active embers was warming their
back not so long ago.
A small, well preserved coffer can be found near the barrels;
if opened, read:
"Five sealed vials, whose liquid is so bright it's hurting your
eyes, are aligned in two rows. Each content appears to be of a
different color."
The odd number is important: one vial is obviously
missing, but do not outright tell that to the players. In their
current state connecting dots or even noticing the dumbest
detail is proving to be quite a grievous task, and nothing is
"evident".
The effect of alcohol will slowly wear off in the morning, and,
when sobered enough, they can be granted a DC10
Intelligence (Investigation) Check, were they to examine
the coffer's content once again. They automatically succeed
after three hours from the beginning.
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If opened the content of each vial appears to be odorless, and Tracks of a wagon leading from the main road to the clearing
everyone can notice the liquid is steadily evaporating if left in can be found, although there's nothing like that in sight – only
contact with the air; in case someone decides to either spill a few scraps near the bigger trees, presumably broken after
the liquid on themselves or drink it, apply the vial-related few crashes (never drive when drunk) The orcs took the
effect to the target. wagon and left this morning.
Each vial can be used up to three times if the characters
prevent the liquid to evaporate and don't finish it in one sip. The main road is somewhat crowded, since it's not that
The effect of each vial can be read in "Magic Vials" uncommon to find late merchants going towards the city in
(Appendix). search of good deals during the wedding; hitch-hiking is a
The few untouched barrels around them contains beer, some perfect reasonable way to reach the city sooner, a smart
of which has been, judging by the reek and wet soil, spilt on excuse to have a random merchant explain known facts that
the ground recently. the absent-minded could not remember (e.g. details about the
A successful DC 10 Wisdom (Perception) Check can reveal wedding, or criminal trades)
there are multiple humanoid footprints nearby, more than
what the party may leave: moreover, something was sitting
around that spot not too long ago, the tracks around there
disappearing inside the wood.
Those are the remaining left by the gang of orcs who drank
together with the party just before dawn.
The northern side is where the party used to rest hours ago
together with Diane, as well as the exact spot in which she
became a pig because of the broken vial.
Shards of broken glass can be found without the need of a
check in there, and there are remaining of a single broken
barrel: the content was wine for sure, but the soil is already
dry. An old bonfire can be found as well, extinguished by
hours according to the cold ashes.
A successful DC 10 Wisdom (Perception) Check can reveal
fewer footprints in that spot, definitely less than those in the
opposite side; most of them are humanoid, but some belong
to an animal, a pig perhaps? Do specify the pig has not
stepped on those points yet.
All the footprints disappear inside the wood among the
brushes, but the direction appears to be Mirin.

Note: It goes without saying that both rolls are

needed if a character wants to acquire additional
information regarding the footprints, otherwise
everyone will simply see an unspecified amount of
them on the ground.

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Return to Mirin
P
erhaps it's the pig, perhaps a deadly combo of
filthy clothes and rumours, but one thing is
sure: the party lure more than one glance.
They're bound to be approached by someone
involved with their lil adventures sooner or
later, the only questions are who, when and
with which attitude.
Lots of tavern owners will be cursing them as they walk
around the city, or even demand them to either clean or pay
for the damage.
If Personal Feature 5 was chosen some will talk to "###"
and perhaps ask them to sing their deeds once again; some
folks armed with forks may be looking for Josette's contender,
and so on.
The Missing Bride
The sudden disappearance of Diane one day before the
wedding threw her father into turmoil.
What made things worse was Diane herself who, too young
and naive to understand her role, took the opportunity to play
a prank on her father before adhering to her role: she left a
letter on her bed, certain it would be found in no time, saying
"This wedding is not meant to be done tomorrow, nor
ever!"
Nothing but a small joke that turned into something much,
much bigger when she actually didn't come home the
following morning: her marrying Halan is essential for her
father's plan, and a sudden cancellation could be regarded as
a change of course or worse, a declaration of war.
Based on such assumptions it's easy to see why her father is
trying to contain such knowledge; that's why, unless
something unexpected happens, no one in the city but few
loyal guards working for the Mayor knows Diane is nowhere
to be found.
Upon entering the city walls through the main gate the
characters will be questioned by the guards regarding where
they spent the night.
A successful DC10 Wisdom (Insight) Check can reveal the
guards are so nervous they can barely contain their
uneasiness, although they won't tell the reason even if
questioned – or rather, pressing too much about the matter
may lead to them getting suspicious, and asking the party to
follow them to the headquarters for further investigation (do
note that while their deeds are on everyone's lips, it's not a
given their looks is as easily
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Proceeding into the city, some guards may be seen
looking for something or someone in each street, nosey
parkers may intercept cryptic lines (few suggestions in the
note), but that's all the party will learn from the militia
themselves.
While their mischiefs are already common knowledge and
would get processed under normal circumstances, to their
own luck pressing matters made them of less importance and
no one will try to apprehend them for the time being: a
convenient but unstable state, because their criminal record
has what it takes to make them the perfect scapegoats for
Diane's kidnapping - if the researches are fruitless and the
party's conduct didn't improve even once sobered up, that is.
Tips: if the party get suspicious about guards'
behaviour and try to eavesdrop, a successful DC10
Wisdom (Perception) Check may reveal that they're
indeed looking for someone. "Have you found her?
Hurry up, or the Mayor will hang us himself!" ,
"Have you looked for her in the sewers already? I
saw an opened manhole near the main plaza." or
such lines could be good ways to sow the seed of
doubts in the party without explicitly stating the
problem.
Evolving the plot
At the start of the adventure Mayor Ludger (just because I
felt like giving him a name too) does not care about the
party's whereabouts and is secluded in his dwelling, but the
situation may rapidly change.
He may eventually decide to count on the characters once
more in strict confidence: whilst they might as well have ties
with the criminals too, being adventurers and all, it's also true
they are all skilled individuals and there's no wasting time.
Another crucial detail is that assistance from the adjacent
cities would never arrive in time for the wedding since Mirin
(or the valley as a whole) is provided with neither high-level
mages nor magical devices to instantly get in touch with
possible helpers.
It's only when you have to rely on a gang of drunkards to
solve a major accident that you realize you've hit the rock-
bottom.
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Mirin,the spring city of wonders
O
nce in the city it's time to choose and the
reveal what the future is holding for the party:
depending on how enterprising they are,
chances are that you will barely have to
introduce anything at all, because they will
look for troubles or follow specific sub-plots
themselves; otherwise, start throwing NPCs
on them until they either make up their mind or are left at the
mercy of the events.
Regarding this section: although the whole adventure will
most likely take place in it, Mirin is not the main focus at all,
meaning that only the relevant spots will be introduced and
deepened in the first half; each segment includes background
informations revolving the specific place, why and when the
characters visited it during the previous night/might visit it
during the adventure, and a brief description of its most
peculiar characteristics when present (you won't find in-depth
outlines of taverns, since that's neither my aim here, nor
relevant to the adventure itself)
If necessary the DM can add new locations on the fly, as long
as they make sense in the context of such a city.
The other main goal for this chapter is to develop the
Personal Features and, on account of that, will be describing
how each involved NPC will behave throughout the
adventure.
Whenever a sub-plot is strongly connected to a specific place
not encountered in the first half, a small portion of the text
will be trying to give as many details about that structure or
its use as possible, although do note some of them do not
take place in a particular location (e.g. Until Death Do Us
Apart)
Locations: The Main Plaza, Pawn Shop, Mudmonger, The
Laughing Soup, Mayor's Residence, The Usual Place, The
Sewers
Additional locations introduced: Josette's House (Another
Wedding?!) , Bella's Hut (Until Death Do Us Apart) , The
Alabaster Minstrel (Gangsters) , Seraphine Square (The
Rival)
First Half: Locations
The Main Plaza
What comes after the rite can't be anything short of a jouyful
celebration, let alone if the newlyweds come from powerful
families; Diane may be against this political union but, no
offence intended, merchants and sellers put business first
rather than love, and such an important event will fill their
pockets for sure.
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All preparations are close to being complete, lots of stands
scattered among streets and squares are already selling
either goods or performances to amaze the crowd: as for the
"Main Plaza", a traveling circus is covering most of the
available ground, its crew busy wrapping up the exhibition
prepared for the occasion.
Jugglers, contortionists, illusionists... the whole packet could
have a lot to offer, with the real members in the city (More
info in "Thieves, again")
Drawn like a moth to a flame the drunk characters took a
look around the circus, peeking into the garish tents: when
they noticed the illusionist's was left unguarded they couldn't
help but ransack for a bit, and left with a plentiful loot, that is
the coffer and the violet pastel.
The following day no one could find the illusionist as well as
other members of the troop... what could've happened?
Pawn Shop
"I do remember y'all, I saw you with these two eyes of mine...
or was it with this pair perhaps?"
Trading goods from time immemorial, there's nothing you
can't find at "An eye for detail", be it a new dress or a magic
scroll – you just need a lot of time and patience to rummage
the myriad piles of stuff. The owner, Naethr, is an eccentric
granny fixated with eyes: no one knows how, but it looks like
she can swap her eyeballs with different ones (both in shape
and colour) with some kind of magic tricks.
She gave Diane peasant clothes and possibly tuned her
expensive dress if required (More info in Personal Feature
2)
Although the shop is always open it's not a given Naethr can
always be found inside: whether she enjoys taking a walk
outside or is submerged by new purchases is up to you.
Of course, that doesn't mean theft is allowed, and whenever a
customer tries to leave with a stolen good Alarm will trigger
and Naethr's pet, a Quasit called Elbert, will attack the thief.
Once a spellcaster herself, Naethr got a handful of useless
potions whose effect she's come to ignore; among them the
characters can find a dispelling potion, to be used on Diane
to restore her true form. In order to recognize the potion a
successful DC15 Intelligence (Arcana) Check is required,
unless its effect is revealed by using part of the content on
something magical.
Having "seen" the party together with a young girl, Naethr
is in possession of pesky information indeed... let's just hope
no one will get to the good ol' granny, am I right?
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Mudmonger aka, Best Pig
of the Year
"Oink!"
Queen's winning speech
Few minutes on foot from the Main Plaza there's another
small square, "Mudmonger", decorated with a wooden stage,
a large paddock and, above all, fat pigs weltering in the mud:
that's where the annual "Best Pig of the Year" contest was
taken few days before the adventure.
The drunk party ended up in there while trying to find a
cure for Diane, only to swap her with a real pig, Queen,
during one of the many commotions.
Each pig in the paddock but Diane is marked on their back,
the numbers going from 2 till 6: the number 1 is on Queen's
back, and one character may have a 7 written on theirs with
the violet pastel if the DM chose Personal Feature 4.
Everyone in the city knows there were six pigs in the contest,
and will confirm that to the party if asked.
The five pigs plus Diane will be staying in the paddock, their
fates left uncertain until the wedding day, unless something
unexpected happens. (More info in "Now What? Now
Orcs!")
The Laughing Soup
"The waitress asked why we carried weapons on us in the
tavern, we said Mimics. The waitress laughed, we laughed, the
soup laughed. We ate the soup. It was a good time."
Your average two-story tavern and, to its owner's demise,
the first stop right after the sewer break, the after-effects of
the previous night are still fully visible on the floor and
tapestry of "The Laughing Soup": drenched with mud and
filth, armed to the teeth with their fresh new addition -
namely, Queen - it didn't take long for the characters to
begrime the inn beyond salvation. The morning after
Rudolph, the poor owner, is still trying to make a quick fix
out of that mess before the wedding, although odds are
against him.
Even if the name may suggest so, The Laughing Soup's
main attraction can't be found in the menu, but rather in its
underground basement, among elated men betting on who
will win the next round: pit fights are a common hobby in
many cities of the country, and Mirin is not exempt.
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The local champion, Regnor, hardly knew what defeat
meant before meeting the selected character who, quick-
tempered because of all the booze, challenged him to a duel
and surprisingly won: it turned out mocking the character for
losing their beloved weapon in a bet against another dude
wasn't the right choice for him.
Among all the bruises the worst thing he suffered was
wounded pride, his resolution to redeem himself tangible.
More info in "The Rival".
The character's weapon can be found in a bedroom on the
first floor, hidden by a pile of hay: reasonably whoever won
the bet rented that room.
Mayor's Residence
A fancy mansion surrounded by an ornate fence, located in
the central area of the city: that's where Mirin's Mayor and his
family dwelve.
Diane's disappearance triggered a state of alert, like the
guards scouting both the gate and mansion's entrance can
show. The mayor is inside his studio in the ground floor, in
desperate need of good ideas to wake up from this gruesome
nightmare: his efforts to stop the illegal deals the criminals
supervise through this wedding could not only vanish, but
reverse very soon after all.
He will refuse to receive visits until late afternoon of the First
Day, unless the guests have real information about his
daughter; after that point the remaining time will be so thin
he may seek for the party himself (More info in "The Missing
Bride")
Diane's room is located on the second floor, first details to
stand out being a huge canopy bed and a marvellous wedding
dress on a mannequin.
It is currently empty, just like many of the mansion's rooms.
Lots of gold and jewellery can be found in each room, were
the party interested in acquiring gold for whatever purpose;
stolen goods can be sold under-the-counter in one of the
many less righteous stands or taverns, although no one would
dare to buy too much without knowing their origin first.
Climbing the outside walls is possible only at night, and
requires a successful DC10 Strength (Athletics) Check if
nothing else is used to ease the scaling.
The guards will be scouting the mansion throughout the
night as well, but a successful DC15 Intelligence
(Investigation) Check can reveil a blind spot with a 20
seconds gap between each patrol (unless a diversion is used
to distract the guards, that is)
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The Usual Place
"Where do you want to go tonight?"
"I don't know man, the usual place."
Unbelievably spared by the party's woeful devastation, "The
Usual Place" is your average inn for adventurers, always
offering somewhat comfortable rooms for cheap fees; its
strategic position near the city gate together with the busty
waitresses makes it an eligible destination for both incoming
travellers and pervy locals.
The party has been resting here for the past nights, and the
room has already been paid.
They stopped here the previous night only to deposit a barrel
inside their room: some waitresses swear they heard
something moving inside it, but no human could be contained
inside such a small container (More info in "Thieves, Again")
The Sewers
Holy moly - money may not stink, but we sure do!
Hanging around with lots of money is not pleasant,
especially if the owner is a drunk paranoiac - guess what?
That's what we have here.
The total amount of money obtained is 800 gp, and the
selected character felt too uneasy about it.
Where to hide the treasure though? The stroke of genius
arrived when they saw another character trying to wash away
the number written on their back (see "Best Pig of the Year"
for more info) to no avail: who would ever go look for money
in the dark and wet sewers?
And that's how he dragged the party amid the filthy water in
search of a well-hidden spot, marking the path with the violet
pastel.
Remember that's how the party got their lower half soiled, a
detail you must point out at the start of the adventure (if you,
by any chancs, forgot about that, a good old NPC could
simply complain about their smell later in the adventure)
The fastest way to reach the sewers is to use a manhole,
although having the pig (which will never, ever accept being
left behind) pass through it without getting stuck may be the
real quest after all.
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The one used the previous night is still half-uncapped, and
it's near the Main Plaza.
In order to notice the violet trace a successful DC10
Wisdom (Perception) Check is required, as the lines are
well-covered by the darkness.
If the party enters from a random manhole they will
eventually find the violet trace, but not before wandering
through empty channels for two hours (remember time is
vital in this adventure)
The sewers are dark and unpleasant, and count as a
heavily obscured area: the hallways are often only five
meters wide and the running water, albeit only 50 cm deep,
hinders movements.
Wild creatures may be lurking behind each curve, ready to
exploit the environment to grab a meal.
The 799 gp (one was kept in the selected character's
pocket) are hidden inside a small hole, protected by a
powerful curse... or at least that's what the character wants
you to believe. A note can be found on the bag, with a riddle
and a warning written on it.
"Beware of this powerful curse! Before touching the bag, solve
the riddle and insert the correct code, or be cursed for all
eternity and blame your greed! Ah, ah, ah!"
The handwriting can be easily recognized as the
character's, the violet pastel used to write it unmistakable.
Just so we're clear from the start, there's no curse involved
in all of this: the drunk character thought that was a clever
way to scare thieves - he was obviously wrong - but once
again luck's on their side, and no one has found the bag yet.
Chances are the players will still lose time-solving the riddle
out of sheer curiosity, and something nexpectedmay happen
in the meantime: was that the sound of a wall collapsing not
too far from here? The water level seems to be raising, the
current is getting rather fierce indeed. That's why you do not
fight nor rest in the sewers!
The Curse
Consider it as a, let's say, minigame
minigame.
You can use different (dumb) riddles to amuse your
party (good ol' sheep, wolf, cabbage one)
My version can be found in the Appendix
Appendix.
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Second Half: Character-
driven events
Another Wedding?!
"Don't worry son, saying "yes" gets easier once you have a
fork pointed on your back. We all went through that once or
twice."
Josette is not a bad girl – a slacker some may say,
nonetheless good at heart.
Her father Moetjens is your average farmer who expects his
own daughter to help with the crop, only to get disappointed
by her contumacy.
His last hope is for her to finally get married and raise a
family, but Josette knows what that would implicate quite
well, and prefers to fool around and enjoy her youth.
That's why when Moetjens heard about her daughter's last
flame and saw the ring he thought the right time has come,
and decided to actively organize the wedding as fast as
possible.
He's searching for the contender together with friends and
family members, having a rough idea of their look based on
what his daughter said.
Once reunited, he will act all nice and friendly, possibly
avoiding the marriage talk in order not to scare the
character, but based on the character's reaction he may come
up with the craziest ways to lure the character to his house –
remember: whatever it takes, be it violence, deceit or a
kickback to arrange Josette!
Josette is sort of indifferent to the marriage, having realized
that trying to persuade her father into giving up will be
useless either way – besides, she does have good memories
about the previous night.
The whole family will be waiting for the couple in their
house's garden, underneath an adorned vine tunnel: the
character may be incentivized with a fork on their back, were
they too shy to pronounce "yes" at the right time. Tying them
against a pole is another fair solution, everything truly works
as long as Josette gets married to someone. Moetjens and his
folks will pursue the selected character everywhere, be it in
the local market or on the city's roofs, leading to exciting
chases.
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Angry mob
Huge swarm of Medium humanoids, chaotic
neutral
Armor Class 11
Hit Points 65(10d12)
Speed 30ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
17 (+3) 10 (0) 10 (0) 10 (0) 10 (0) 10 (0)
Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, slashing
Senses passive Perception 10
Languages Common
Swarm. The swam can occupy another creature's
space and vice versa, and the swam can move
through any opening large enough for a Medium
humanoid. The swarm can't regain hit points or
gain temporary hit points.
Strength in Numbers. The swarm has advantage on
Strength and Constitution Checks and saving throw.
Pin. Large or smaller creature that the mob
surrounds is also grappled by it (DC 13 escape)
Volatile. The mob is susceptible to rhetoric. DC 14
Charisma (Performance) check can disrupt their
anger, giving them disadvantage on attacks and skill
checks that round. The check is done with
disadvantage if the swarm has half of its hit points
or fewer.
Actions
Multiattacks. The swarm makes two melee attacks
Improvised Weapons Melee or Ranged Weapon
Attack: +6 to hit, reach 0 ft., or range 20/60 ft., one
target in the swam's space or within range. Hit 7
(2d6) bludgeoning damage, or 14 (4d6)
bludgeoning damage if the swarm has half of its hit
points or fewer.
Make sure to remember the party none of these
men is evil:
evil their objective is only to scare the
chosen character into a marriage, and not to
actually harm or kill them – few punches or a blow
is the most they will resort to unless deadly
threatened. As such, killing them is greatly
discouraged, if nothing for the penal consequences
such act may lead to.
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Until Death Do Us Apart
"I'm engaged."
"Let's think of a way to get rid of that together, sweetie!"
Every city has its own weirdo, but Bella is on a whole
different level: living by herself in the forest right outside
Mirin, she's the local boogeyman, that creature children fear
and have bad dreams about.
Yet, for some (un)known reasons, she has been left
untouched for years: some may be too afraid of possible
curses to drive her away, others simply believe she doesn't
pose an actual threat, considering that whenever she sneaks
into the city - mostly at night - it's only to steal chewed
remains or small animals in the back alleys, or make one kid
or two cry with her dread look.
She despises humanity as a whole and tries to interact
with them the least possible - rats are not so unpleasant on
the other hand.
Or at least that's what she used to think until now, because
love is like a bolt out of the blue, and that's exactly what
happened last night.
Now totally infatuated with the (un)fortunate selected
character, she starts the adventure inside her hut, too busy
making herself over before making the first move.
Not so deep into the wood, her hut is partly covered by
moss and brushes, although bones and debris will easily
reveal its position; the gloomy entrance leads to few small
chambers dug into the ground, in which characters can find a
horde of remains, filth, stolen objects and tinctures, some of
which able to break Diane's spell (question is, which one?)
Unable to contain her overflowing feelings Bella will,
beyond the shadow of a doubt, eventually approach the party,
either intercepting them along a road or bursting into their
room; as for when, the night is where you want to bet your
money on, although it's not a certainty.
Do not give away Bella's true nature before her reveal:
throw continuous hints of her queer personality with the help
of "gifts" or love letters she delivers to the selected character
through her minions, as a way to build the suspense before
the final confrontation!
Bella's goal is not to kill the characters, even less make a
mess in the city: the selected character is all that matters.
That's the mantra you have to keep in mind while using her,
who will prioritize a safe escape with her willing-or-not dear.
She may consider grappling (and possibly disabling with her
crushing hug) the selected target and then run away,
confident of her climbing skills to swiftly leave behind the
rest of the party after few parkour moves.
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A possible way to reveal her real nature:
Your eyes catch an unusually wide silhouette at the end of the
road - nothing worth mentioning until you realize that was
only one leg, and the remaining body is slowly but steadily
covering your whole field of vision.
The widest hag you've ever set your eyes upon is looking right
at you, her purulent arm hunched forwards. Well...arm,
shoulder, whichever body part that clump of flesh, blisters and
pus is supposed to be.
"How long do you intend to keep me waiting?" My whole self
is striving for you, I can barely contain my moans! Your words!
Let me hear such blissful lines one more time, and I shall be
yours for the eternity!"
Her whole body quivering in ecstasy, she throws herself at
you.
Bella
Large fey, chaotic infatuated
Armor Class 14 (natural armor)
Hit Points 65(5d10 + 15)
Speed 30ft. , climb 20ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
18 (+4) 12 (+1) 16 (+3) 16 (+3) 12 (+1) 10 (0)
Damage resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and
slashing from nonmagical attacks
Senses darkvision 30 ft., passive Perception 11
Languages Common, Infernal, Abyssal
Challenge Love finds a way
Actions
Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft.,
one target. Hit: 14 (2d8 + 4) slashing damage.
Crushing Hug Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit,
reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (2d8 + 4)
bludgeoning damage, and the target is grappled
(escape DC 14) if it is a Large or smaller creature.
Until the grapple ends, the target takes 14 (2d8 +
4) bludgeoning damage at the start of each of the
hag's turns. The hag can't make attacks while
grappling a creature in this way.
Summon Rats (1/Day): Bella can use her bonus
action to call for a Swarm of rats that will show up in
her aid.
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The Rival
So, we just heard stories... like that no one truly knows what
you look like, because you have your face reshaped with magic
every three years.
Not the smartest guy in the world, but far from being a
complete idiot either: a fitting description for Regnor, Mirin's
former champion.
The suffered blow made him realize the selected character
is not someone he can underestimate, perhaps even a
stronger foe than himself.
Still, the sooner he challenges them again to restore his
status, the better – in fact he's already come up with a plan
(More info in Regnor's Trial)
Rumors of Regnor's comeback are spreading throughout
Mirin's streets like ravenous rats, and it's a matter of time
before words reach the party and, above all, the selected
character.
For the time being though, "###" can enjoy their short-lived
fame, signing signatures and answering disparate questions
to their fans.
It won't be long before Regnor meets his fated rival, and the
provocation will be as ostentatious as possible: refusal is not
an option, Regnor will do whatever it takes to get a second
chance.
Threatening Queen or another bystander are all fair ways to
blackmail the character into accepting the challenge, the sky
is the limit.
Another possible idea is to quote their lost weapon,
revealing that it is currently in Regnor's hands, who's willing
to give it in after the challenge; nothing but a small white lie
to achieve his goal.
Regnor's Trial
Is it true that when you enter the room, even the chairs are
standing up. And they're not frigging mimics I swear.
Regnor's next challenge will be somewhat peculiar, and is
made up of two steps: the first one, what could be described
as a race throughout Mirin's streets; the second, a proper
duel in a larger environment.
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The race consists of, as the name suggests, a course from the
starting point, "The Laughing Soup", until the established
destination, a plaza called Seraphine Square, the
contenders will have to hurry through: the main purpose of
such a preparatory phase is that whoever gets there first has
time to look for better weapons, or exploit the surrounding to
their own benefit for the incoming battle; moreover, no one
can directly deliver a weapon to any contender, nor help them
find a suitable one. As for the race itself, you can either let the
characters run through a straight road, or or complicate
matters: choose whatever you prefer.
Rules are stated as the following before the trial starts: the
duel itself in the plaza must be 1vs1, no allies permitted;
whoever is incapacitated or gives up loses, although Regnor
will not accept half-assed reasons to surrender.
What's been omitted though is that nothing prohibits others
from helping or hindering a competitor, as it will happen.
Regnor, in fact, has already paid four thugs (CR1/2 Monster
Manual 350) to hinder the selected character alongside the
route, so that he can be the first one to arrive and get the best
weapons in the area.
A good variety of urban complications can be found in the
Dungeon Master Guide, page 254.
As for the thugs themselves, blocking the road with falling
booths, throwing whatever they can get their hands on
against the character, gathering a crowd in a one-way road so
that the character is forced to climb on a building and roof-
hopping for a bit – manage the race as you see fit.
The rest of the characters will most likely repair the favour to
Regnor once they catch the bug.
The duel is more straightforward and will be taking place in
a rather small plaza: lots of stands selling hides, vegetables
and trinkets; unwary bystanders caught in-between this
madness; a circular fountain, whose statue placed in the
middle of the pool, a bronze angel, judges Regnor for his
dumb idea.
Regnor hid a shortsword inside a hay bale in a corner,
although his pride stops him from using that right away.
There are no proper weapons to be found in the stands,
daggers and small axes aside: persuading a seller to give up
on them while getting bashed by the other contender may
prove to be quite difficult.
Every single object in this area can be turned into a weapon,
so don't underestimate a clothes horse used as a whip, or a
gnome thrown against the enemies like a dagger.
The thugs are still trying to indirectly help Regnor (remember
the duel in the plaza must be a 1vs1, although that rule
doesn't count in the race part) by distracting the other
contender.
If things get for Regnor, the most insane thug could do the
irreparable... (More info in "What Went Wrong")
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At the end of the duel Regnor will either go home as the new
champion, or as a sore loser; regardless of the result he will
stop bothering the character, who may have become Regnor's
worst nemesis or perhaps a respected foe; a rather
unexpected turn of events could be Regnor proposing the
character to organize more fist-fights as a way to earn quick
money!

What Went Wrong

I heard you're so lucky you got to experience a once in a life

time occurrence twice.

So, who thought letting a giant boar wreak havoc in a

commercial area with a multitude of people and stands was a
good idea?
Locked up few wards from Seraphine Square, ready to be
sold to the best bidder is a giant boar, or at least that's where
it used to be before getting released by a thug, who
proceeded to enrage and kite the wild beast towards the
duel's spot.
Unless deafened everyone in the plaza can hear the
creature getting closer, and has one turn to take actions
before the boar becomes an active member of the combat.
The Giant Boar (CR2 Monster Manual 323) enters the fight
with a charge attack that must be dodged by each character
still standing on its path: a successful DC13 Dexterity
Saving Throw is required to dodge the beast, a failed
attempt result in 7 (2d6) slashing damage.
A creature hit by the first charge must succeed on a DC 13
Strength Saving Throw or be knocked prone.
After the first round the boar will, if not bothered by
characters or NPC, demolish barrels and stands in order to
eat vegetables; once disturbed it will focus whoever gets its
attention until defeated.
Frightened by the sight of the boar the crowd will try to run
away from each possible exit, or climb on adjacent buildings
and booths to save themselves, uncaring of whoever they may
step on or harm in the process.
The city militia will arrive five turns after the boar enters the
fight to subdue the animal, and depending on the characters'
actions may reward or detain them.
Praiseworthy conduct may lead to the characters getting
informed of Diane's whereabouts (More info in "The Missing
Bride" and "Mayor House")

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Gangsters
"I've been in forests less shady than him."
Extorting money out of bets – better when rigged – sounds
like a good plan to local criminals, and that's in fact what
they've been doing since the year dot.
It doesn't matter whether they have to manage the gambling
themselves or simply collect their fair share from
independent inns, as long as they get richer.
It goes without saying that's only one tiny gig compared to
their serious trades, but the higher-ups still demand
seriousness and professionalism from their subordinates.
That's why losing 800 gp on a rigged bet was not only a
financial blow, but a dishonor the thugs who oversaw the
game already paid for – what's left to do is explain the
mistake to the unfortunate winners and kindly ask for them
to return the money.
The party will sooner or later be approached by five well-
dressed yet shady guys whose task is to escort the characters
to their boss' room; none of them will directly resort to
violence, their tone will always be placid no matter the
characters' reaction to their request.
The reason behind this invite is "discussing with our boss
about your recent deals with the family" ; additional
information will not be granted as they "do not have the right
to do it".
Common folks around this scene will do their damn best not
to get involved, as well as possible guards nearby (who,
among other things, have other pressing matters in mind)
At this point, the party can either obey and follow them, or
refuse: if they choose the thugs will insist few more times,
before leaving and letting them be for now.
"You shall regret it" is a fitting ending line in that case.
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Gangsters, First Choice
The characters are escorted inside "The Alabaster
Minstrel", Mirin's most famous and refined brothel: a quick
glance is enough to understand the place is overflowing of
mobs, and any reckless action may lead to dreadful
consequences.
As they enter a cozy backroom, they find the boss awaiting
them, four huge men standing on his back.
"First of all, do thank you for accepting my request without
causing a tantrum in the city, because that's the last thing I
wish, and I take the same goes for you all – you are heroes of
justice after all, am I right? Now, let's cut the bull: last night
one of my aides went overboard and bet far more than what he
was tasked to do – people here hardly have that amount of
money, to begin with. While you're utterly innocent and I am
sincerely sorry for the misunderstanding, what I'd like to ask is
for you to give me back the won amount, minus your starting
money of course. I am sure you can all understand the
oversight and collaborate on the matter."
If the characters can't pay him right away, read
"Now that's truly a pity, I was hoping to settle things as fast as
possible – I am rather busy these days.
That said, I do understand your circumstances and I'm ready to
give you more time to get back what you're supposed to –
let's say you can deliver the bag tomorrow morning, for
example?
I assure you I will not bother you ever again after our lil deal is
over, and I am a man who keeps his word. That's all for now I
guess? I will be waiting for you all. Have a pleasant afternoon."
If the characters decide to attack the boss, follow what
written under Possible Fight.
Before them doing the irreparable do remind them of where
they are, and the number of enemies they would face.
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Gangsters, Second Choice Possible Fight

The boss will pay a call on the party himself, and it will not be
too pleasant. This can happen whenever and wherever the "Damn kids, I didn't work my ass off to become who I am, just
DM deems right; I suggest this scene to happen inside a local to be beaten by some random adventurers, you know that
right?"
myself.
The boss will be escorted by some of his trusted men, and
will casually approach the party before revealing his true It wouldn't be that unbelievable for the characters to fight
intention. back the Mafia, although their chances of winning face-to-
Because of the characters' previous decision, he will be face are nonexistent.
asking for a surtax of 100 gp, and for the character to give his
men few drops of blood as "insurance in case you will try to The boss, guarded by four Martial Arts Adept (CR3, Volo's
run away without fulfilling your task." Guide to Monsters 216) , is a Warlock of the Fiend (CR7,
Volo's Guide to Monsters 219) himself.
As for example, this could be how the scene is carried out if
the characters are inside a tavern: Even if the characters attack the boss and his men, they will
not be killed – getting the money is worth more than finishing
off pipsqueaks – although the criminals will be sure to return
the fire and teach the characters a lesson.
You are all sitting on a table waiting for your meal, when the
constant and deafening murmuring suddenly disappears.
You are still trying to figure out the reason, when you notice Do notice the boss has the spell Scrying available if required,
someone else has joined your table, and is asking for a soup. making a possible escape troublesome.
A fair man in his 50s, wearing supposedly expensive black
clothes and a showy red scarf.
"Have you heard of "The Best Sow of the Year" contest? I
personally do not care about such mundane festivals, but
some of my men appear to be rather big fans themselves.
Still, I must admit, pigs are incredible animals, that much is
true.
I don't remember where I heard that, but it seems they're truly
efficient when it comes to dispose of human corpses: all you
have to do is chop'em off, then throw the pieces to starving
pigs and they will do the rest in a couple of hours.
Now, I can have all the pigs I desire, but going through that
procedure is still a pain in the @ss – for my men at least – and
I feel like we can reach a better compromise.
I could've properly explained everything, but given the
circumstances all you have to know is that you won money
that wasn't supposed to be bet, and I want everything back.
And I don't care if you don't have them with you right now, for
there will always be tomorrow, right? But nothing more, or it's
mealtime for some pigs, you got what I mean?
I wouldn't mind an extra 100 gp as a way to apologize for
refusing my previous invitation, and you will be asked for a
drop of blood, just in case you decide to run away without
telling me first.
Although rest assured – contrary to someone else I am a man
who keeps his word, and you will be free to do as you please
once our lil deal is carried out. Now, if you shall excuse me, I
have important matters to handle – and thanks for the soup, it
was truly disgusting."

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Thieves, Again
"Do you know how to handle a triple trapeze with only one
leg? Me neither!"
Having always been fascinated by acrobatics and weird
tricks, no one could deprive Diane of a circus in her wedding
day – on the contrary, her father himself decided to invite a
rather famous one, trusting that it will make his beloved
daughter forget she's undergoing a political marriage. Quite a
good plan, no complaints here, provided that the circus'
members are not imposters.
It just so happens that the circus was recruiting new
trapeze artists, the so-called Halflying Brothers for the
incoming show, and four Halfling thieves took their spot in
disguise. No one suspected a single thing, except for the
illusionist, his eyes unbending upon them: that's why they
had no choice but to knock him out when he tried to confront
them. One could say part of the mess happened exactly
because of them, for the illusionist wasn't in his tent when
the drunk party sneaked in and stole the potions.
Talking about the thieves, none of them is fancy enough to
come up with a "team name" – getting richer is all that
matters after all. Lured in Mirin for the wedding, they've set
their eyes on the mayor's house, as well as wedding gifts –
kidnapping Diane was even prompted at one point, but
they're more comfortable when stealing lifeless objects that
can't scream nor kick up.
The unexpected increase of security around the house has
floored them all, but few more guards won't be enough to
make them leave with their tails between their legs. The
same can't be said when the oldest brother, Caim,
disappeared after that fateful night: having heard of the
multiple mishaps the three remaining siblings now fear the
worse for their beloved brother and are on hold awaiting
news from him.
At the start of the adventure Caim is stuck inside a barrel,
his hands tied and his mouth gagged: getting mistaken for a
gnome, famous (?) for being good luck charms, by one of the
drunk characters he was seized and captured, just to be then
forgotten inside their rented room in "The Usual Place"
(More info in "The Usual Place")
Having bathed in his own piss and tears all night long, he
will jump on the first human to open the barrel, fearing his
true identity has been revealed. Once he realizes the
characters do not remember a single thing, himself included,
he will fake ignorance, blaming them for kidnapping a poor
passerby; he will then attempt to escape to rendezvous with
his brothers as soon as possible – united we stand, divided we
fall, as they say.
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Caim and his brothers may be open to listening acceptable
proposals from the party if those include acquiring gold and
jewellery, or they may try to seek for a partnership
themselves, should an opportunity arises.
Of course, the halflings will always be ready to end the truce,
frame the characters and keep the bounty all for themselves,
the only question is when and under what situation.
For instance, were they to burst into the mayor's house, Caim
would step forward to go with a single character, saying that
"the fewer the better", only to smash a window and run for
his life all alone after tricking the character into checking
other rooms for more gold.
Or, even worse, the characters may decide to cooperate with
Caim and abduct Diane, only to have the halflings sold out
the party to the militia and make it out as the true heroes...
sure, they have to discover the magic effect casted upon the
pig before doing this, but it's still a possibility.
While they're not experienced fighters one should not
underestimate them either (use Spy statblock for them, CR1
Monster Manual 349)
Their names are: Caim, the oldest brother; Butch, Colton,
Lester.
Now what? Now Orcs!
"Sometimes you gotta play the role of fool, to fool the fool
who thinks they're fooling you."
Lastly, let's not forget a gang of orcs will be approaching
Mirin later in the afternoon, only to make everything more
complicated.
After bonding with the characters the previous night they
were told to join them later in Mirin, as "a wedding will be
and there will be lots of food to eat and wine to drink".
All the orcs know is that the characters are heroes and are
staying overnight in The Usual Place, and expect to receive a
respectable service as "the heroes' new pals"... little did they
know, since half Mirin is probably holding a grudge against
the characters at this point.
Whether they will be waiting for the characters in an inn,
or look for them after growing impatient is up to the DM: an
orc's mind is unpredictable after all.
Will they behave, or finish what the party started the previous
night?
Will they spend the whole afternoon drinking wine, or will
they come into view during Josette's wedding?
Who knows, one can only hope they won't at least try to steal
pigs, because Diane is among them.
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What are you saying? Of
course I'm an orc, duh!
"V-verily I say unto you, t-this table is an eyesore!"
Don Kith before attempting to overturn a table
Wait, we did forget about a small detail: what's with the
wagon's trails in the clearing? When the characters bought
the beer – although they were supposed to pay the following
morning – and borrow the wagon from Don Kith, a local
clergyman in search of good deals, they decided to invite him
to the clearing for an intimate party; once the orcs arrived the
situation escalated fast.
Don Kith has never been famous for his big brain, but that
blow he received from an inebriated orc was truly something:
he awoke few hours later in the orcs' camp, his face and skin
so soiled of bile they acquired a greenish shade, his mind so
confused for the hit he ended up believing he's an orc himself.
The Homebrewery - NaturalCrit
The orcs don't mind that, some of them are still too drunk
and stupid to notice Don Kith is nothing but a mere human;
besides, they took a liking to him, might as well keep him as
the gang's mascot.
When faced with pesky questions or obviousness, he may
either recall something (e.g. when he was first approached by
the party the previous night, whether they were with Diane or
not, and so on) or simply throw an orcish tantrum... that's up
to you.
Don Kith is doing his best to mimic orcish behaviors, and
while the result is not up to the standards no one can deny
his dedication.
Once in city he will wander around with his new gang, trying
to overturn tables, burping and arm wrestling with the tiniest
victims available, because that's what orcs do, don't they?!

We're done for real, I swear: a quick

recap

S
o what we have here? Rather than trying to foresee what the party may go for, it's
A group of characters who will struggle to better to let them choose the right path, and whenever they
remember what they did the previous night; a reach a standstill or are getting closer to truth, throw
missing bride, who's been transformed into a pig; something unexpected at them – they're rather famous and
criminals in search of money the party shouldn't lots of people in Mirin have a score to settle with them.
have; few love interests who will not give up on
their new crush, for one reason or another; a rival Be sure to remind them of both the incoming wedding and
eager to redeem his status; a band of thieves always ready to deadline : they roughly have one day to solve everything,
make shady deals; a father worried about his daughter and meaning each second is valuable!
his city's future; a gang of orcs on a rampage; a variety of
other possible walk-on actors.
Diane's spell can be broken thanks to Naethr or Bella – of
course, those aren't the only possible ways to achieve that.

The plot itself is really simple, and could potentially end

rather fast: get the pig, undo the spell, get the money in the
sewers, deliver the bounty, all's well that ends well.
What makes the adventure longer are the various hazards
and sub-plot, which will do their best to stand in the
characters' way.
As such, exploit and develop them as you prefer, always
considering the party's intentions and their reaction to each
premise: some may be more interested in retrieving the gold
as fast as possible, others may attempt to rip off mayor's
mansion; in still others Josette and Bella may have the top
priority at first, and so on.

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Epilogues

H
aving only one day to find Diane and collect
the money for the boss, the adventure will
eventually come to an end - which one
though?
As if I know that: it depends on what the
specific party has done throughout the
session(s).
What I can do though is providing two possible closures,
which must be adapted with the right context each time this
module is run. As such take them with a grain of salt - they're
nothing but examples after all.
A fair wedding
This epilogue presumes the characters successfully rescued
Diane and paid their debt to the boss in time - what you
would define as a happy ending.
Unless the characters' reputation has been irretrievably
compromised they will all be invited to the wedding as
special guests, the mayor so reassured he will forget about
whatever those crazy pants did the previous night...for today
at least.
Besides, who cares about what the mayor has to say - Diane
herself wanted them to be present no matter what.
Read the following:
Just a handful of quick looks, and few lines before the crowd
reclaim her.
"I never expected a hen do party to be this funny; had I known
that before, I wouldn't have waited for this much to get
married! I swear I will never forget what we went through!"
Flattered as you may be, it would be better for her to forget
everything - you do not want rumours to spread, do you?
Hours go by and the chaos eventually fades away.
You are all chilling on a bench, the feeble spring breeze
coddling your round bellies, while you finally have some time
to meditate.
It's not that bad after all. Adventuring, you mean.
You know, saving the princess, killing the dragon.
Except that there was no princess to save, nor dragon to kill
this time.
Well, whatever.
It has been a long journey, but at last you can enjoy your well-
deserved rest.
FIN

You're currently enjoying the wedding, eating high-quality

courses and consuming a perfectly reasonable quantity of wine
like the truly refined beings you all are.

Diane looks enchanting in her wedding attire, her father is

barely containing tears.

"Don't stare at her so much, or the bad guy over there will tear
off your eyes!" burbled the wino seated next one of you.

Still, gotta give some credit to the drunkard, given who her
father-in-law is. Although he doesn't seem nearly as peevish as
before... nothing is more powerful than love, uh?
"But that's wrong, duh! Alcohol is always the answer to that!"
Can you stop reading my mind, you mutter - oh, don't you dare
barf here, blooming heck! Gee, why does it always come down
to that?

The party continues, and as expected it's quite hard getting in

touch with Diane, being constantly assaulted by lords and
ladies.

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Scapegoats
In the sad possibility the characters get to retrieve the gold
but fail to rescue Diane, the anxiety among the guards will
slowly become so noticeable that what's left for the party is
nothing else but an escape, before things get out of hands
and they're accused of a crime they (partly) didn't commit.
You can solve the last part narratively if you prefer, or commit
a whole part of the adventure to the getaway.
As the ending lines, read the following:
He stops for a second to check the road, then looks back at
you.
"Still, you look as pale as a wright. Want some wine to ease
your fatigue" A patched jug dangling from his hand.
You politely decline though - your lips won't get a sole sip of
alcohol for a while.
FIN

Miles away from Mirin, the chaotic city can't even be

perceived as an indiscernible dot from this distance. Still, all
you can think of is to get away as fast as possible from there,
too young to become this sad story's scapegoats.

As you quietly admire the sunset with an unconfirmed sense

of guilt in your chest, a wagon coming from Mirin stops next
to you, offering a ride until the next hamlet.
You're too tired to ask what happened after Diane didn't show
up at the wedding - you had already legged it at that point to
know anything - but it looks like the merchant is quite the
talkative guy.

"You guys should've seen it - the wedding in Mirin, I mean.

A bit lavish for my taste, but a happy ending nonetheless.
What I fail to grasp though is the beginning - now, being a
peasant myself I'm not that susceptible to people sloshing
around with pigs, but when it's the mayor's daughter we're
talking about then yes, you can bet your damn booty I'm hella
confused!

Whatcha sayin'? No one got a frigging clue about what truly

happened... I heard some saying she was abducted by some
doppelganger that posed as a bunch of heroes - do you know
what a doppelsomething is? It's, like, an evil being with
magical superpowers that can shape its look to its liking... I
suppose.

Where was I... oh yeah, so they pretended to be heroes,

trapped the poor girl in another dimension or something, until
the true adventurers appeared, defeated the enemies and then
ran away for their life - cuz no one knew about the
doppelganger but the mayor's daughter herself.
But again, that's just what she said, according to some guards I
know.

If you ask me, I'm still puzzled about her being naked in a
frigging paddock. But who cares, right? Life goes on, and I
hope she will find happiness with that young boy."

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Appendix
NPC Index
Ludger: current mayor of Mirin
Halan Dyrr: Next head of Dyrr Family, son of Nathar, Diane's
fiancé
Diane: Mayor's Daughter, Bill's fiancée
Nathar Dyrr: Current head of Dyrr Family,
Bella: hag, in love with selected character
Josette: commoner, in love with selected character
Moetjens: Josette's father
Naethr: Pawn Shop's owner, former spellcaster
"###": selected character's alias, to be chosen by the DM
Don Kith: clergyman, owner of the wagon
Regnor: local former champion, selected character's rival
Rudolph: The Laughing Soup's owner
Caim: thief, head of the team
Butch, Colton, Lester: thieves
Magic Vials
The broken vial was obviously a polymorphing potion,
created for a show involving pigs; it was supposed to be a
funny reference of the famous "Best pig of the year" contest.
The whole package was bought by the circus' crew from a
merchant in another city of the region.
Each potion was to be used to enhance or help a specific
member of the crew for the upcoming show (e.g. in order not
to be afraid of heights)
Feel free to change their effects and create new amusing
scenario if you have better ideas, but remember to keep the
odd number (even with the broken vial)
1) While your body feels oily, your throat is really sore -
so much that everytime you speak chances are flames
will emerge from your mouth.
The volume of your voice seems to affect the percentile of
spitting fire: the louder, the more probable.
The body is inflammable, but the character has resistance
against fire damage.
Every time you whisper for more than 12 seconds roll a d8:
you spit fire with 7 or more.
Every time you talk for more than 6 seconds in a normal
tone, roll a d8: you spit fire with 6 or more.
Every time you talk for more than 3 seconds in a higher tone,
roll a d8: you spit fire with 4 or more.
Every time you yell like a madman even for a second, roll a
d8: you spit fire with 2 or more, flames are so uncontrollable
you catch fire with 5 or more.
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2) You feel so damn light - watch out, a simple gust of
wind could blow you away.
Whenever you're wearing clothes your jump distance is
doubled; if you get naked it is quadrupled.
Every time a wind current runs over you, failing a DC16
Strength Saving Throw will get you pushed for 10 feet and
either get knocked prone at the end of the landing or get
stuck on object mid-air before that point; if you were naked,
the DC becomes 20 and the distance 20 feet.
The malus can be balanced by using some weight.
3) Every time you drink a liquid a perfect copy of
yourself will appear nearby. The more clones you have,
the less they will last.
The copies have their own free will and thus can't be forced
to carry out an action.
Objects can't be copied, although the copies appear with the
same clothes as the original body.
Copies are significantly weaker than the original, and can't
cast a spell or use class/racial abilities; they can use their
fists, and improvised weapons.
One copy lasts 4 minutes, two copies half the time (2
minutes) and so on, to a maximum of five copies (lasting 15
seconds each) at the same time, provided that the owner
keeps on drinking.
Abusing of this power can be dangerous, as you don't know
how the copies will react: sure, they're weak as hell, but can
still throw a spanner in the works.
4) You just realized that standing on the floor is
everything but safe, therefore you will avoid at all costs to
do that.
If you stay on the ground for too long (more than 12 seconds)
without climbing on something in-between you get 1d4
psychic damage.
5) It's as if your bones have disappeared, and you can
contort yourself in impossible ways.
Whenever you assume an unnatural pose, unless held by
something, you will abruptly revert to the usual one after 6
seconds.
You can't contort so much as to affect your size.
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Copy
same size as original, chaotic neutral

Armor Class 10
Hit Points 4(1d4)
Speed 30ft.

STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA

8 (-1) 8 (-1) 10 (0) 12 (+1) 8 (-1) 8 (-1)

Condition Immunities
Senses passive Perception 9
Languages Same as the original
Challenge 0

Ephemereal Existence. The copy disappears after a

fixed amount of time.

Actions
Cogito, Ergo Rhum Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit,
reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1d4-1 bludgeoning
damage

Riddle
What you want to do is write it down on a paper, and then
hand it to your party.
Five Shapes (labelled as ABCDE here)
Codes:
ABCD - two white dots
ABEE - no dots
ABDC - two black dots
CCAB - two black dots
BAAB - no dots
The correct code is CCDC
The white dots mean there is a correct letter but wrong
place, while black dots mean correct letter, correct place (DM
info, not for the players)

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Timeline

B
ecause having it may come in handy (the order Party stop at "The Usual Place" to deposit the barrel
of certain events may be altered if desired) containing one of the Halflying Brothers.
First Day

Party and Queen wake up with no memories about the

Night previous night.
Party get caught up in a gambling circle, win a remarkable
amount of GP, get really drunk due to a mixture of alcohol ...
and poison used in the bets.
Party get approached by the gangsters regarding the acquired
Party sneak into the mayor's house and escort his daughter money.
Diane outside unbeknown to the security to celebrate a hen
do party. ...
Party and Diane go to Pawn Shop to get more suitable The orcs arrive in Mirin.
clothes.
Party and Diane visit many taverns and inns. Second Day
Party and Diane steal the coffer and the violet pastel from the
Circus in the Main Plaza. Payment of the debt (approached by thugs if needed)
Party and Diane go to a clearing outside of the city, Diane Diane's wedding.
gets turned into a pig by the broken vial.
Party and Pig-Diane get back to Mirin to find a cure, but give
up on that shortly after.
Party and Pig-Diane visit many taverns and inns.
Party and Pig-Diane visit the paddock again, Pig-Diane and
Queen get swapped by mistake.
Party and Queen visit many taverns and inns.
Party and Queen hid the money in the sewers.
Party and Queen buy the beer from Don Kith and travel
towards the clearing together with the clergyman.
Party, Don Kith and Queen meet the orc tribes, drink beer
together and tell them to come to Mirin for the wedding.
Party and Queen fall asleep in the clearing while the orcs and
the unconscious Kith go away.

The following events can happen in a random moment

during the night:
Selected characters hits on girls, meets and conquers Bella,
buys an engagement ring to Josette.
Selected character loses their weapon, then beats Regnor,
the local champion, and starts spreading rumours about their
fictional identity.

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