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Ellsworth Dillard
304 Washington Street, Apt.# 808
Bentleyville, Pa. 15314
Ph.# (740)-792-3682
dillardse@gmail.com

One of my most difficult experiences is when my first marriage fell part.

It was my early thirties when this time occurred. I live a
life where drinking played a very important part life,drinking
anything with alcohol in it became a everyday thing.I had Taught myself many
ways of justifing this lifestyle I lived . I became a functional alchoholicWhile at
home I indulged as I pleased . Many of the people I hung out
with were those of the same desire, including my wife. The time come when we decided
to have a child and we did , a little girl.Walking to the hospital to

after work that day to meet up with my wife while she was in delivery. While walking
I thought of how I had no clue about being a parent let alone a father.
While in my heart I was terrified. But with Quart bottle of Beer in Hand off I went.
Believing that at least the alcohol would help me deal with things

I managed holding my first child for a few minutes that day she was born the
fear in my heart was greater then any courage I could muster. Since my wife had
medical problems and not able to nuture her and fear engulfed me.

Our daughter began to have problems, her body tempeture began to drop.Nursing staff
demmanded my presence . With great fear and humility I forced myself
to go in and try. The only thing I couldn,t think to do was whisper in her

ear.Til this day I couldn,t tell you what I said to her

As the time went , her first birthday passed, and the coming of her
second near.Our ralationship became a wreck, all the love
left was given to our daughter or to the drinking. Things appeared

good , but it was all due to having a newborn in the house.

Just a month before our daughters second birthday my wife left me
and the child. A very difficult time for us both, I got very depressed and the
drinking continued. I kept things going, but I in my heart I knew I had little

Contol over drinking. With many trials and error we got through our first year. Around
this time a friend took me to church and introduced me to Christ. Slowly through
the next five years ,Gods love and grace (AA) found me. And So did “Sob
It took One year and sixty meetings a month with help from AA members.
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Who gave me a God of my own understanding and a foundation to grow within. I am forever
thankful. Growth happened for me and also my oldest daughter, She in now thirty – two years
old,God Raised me I raised her and we done it. After one year in (AA) .

I no longer have a desire to go drink. I,ve just celebrated Twenty -Three Years.