Critical Essay Writing

Unit 6. Paraphrasing – A#1

Joanna Deborah, S.S., M.Hum.

Name:
Vincentius Kevin
Michelle Angela
Adrellia Stefany Class:A NRP:1941012, 1941021 ,1941035 Score: 60

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Type your name(s), class, and NRP(s) on the space provided above.
2. Type your answers on the space provided below the questions. You can simply delete the
lines and overwrite them with your answers.
3. After you finish answering the questions, save and upload your file back to Google
Classroom under the following file name: CEWriting_AssgUnit6_FirstName_NRP (i.e.
CEWriting_AssgUnit6_Joanna_410112). Use the name of one person in your group. This
person will be the representative of your group and will also be responsible for uploading
the file to Google Classroom.
4. Do not forget to click “turn in” when uploading the file back, otherwise your file will be
considered missing and will not be assessed.
5. The deadline of this assignment is Monday, 27 September 2020 @ 12.00.

Read the following text.

BRAINS AND SEX

It is widely agreed that men and women think and act in different ways. Women appear to have
better memories, better social skills and are more competent at multitasking. Men, in contrast, seem
to focus better on issues and have superior motor and spatial skills, although clearly many people
are exceptions to these patterns.

These differences have been explained as behaviour adopted thousands of years ago, when the men
went hunting while the women stayed at home and cared for their children. But another approach is
to see the behaviour as a result of the way our brains function.

Recent research by Ragini Verma’s team at the University of Pennsylvania has used brain scans to
compare 428 men and 521 women. They tracked the pathways of water molecules around the brain
area, and found fascinating differences.

The top half of the brain is called the cerebrum, and it is divided into a left and a right half. The left
hemisphere is thought to be the home of logic and the right is the centre of intuition. Dr Verma
found that with women most of the pathways went between the two halves, while with men they
stayed inside the hemispheres. She believes that these results explain the gender differences in
ability, such as women’s social competence compared to men’s more intense focus.
Find synonyms for the words underlined. Rewrite the paragraph using these. (11 pts) 3

It is widely agreed that men and women think and act in different ways. Women appear to have
better memories, better social skills and are more competent at multi-tasking. Men, in contrast,
seem to focus better on issues and have superior motor and spatial skills, although clearly many
people are exceptions to these patterns.

It is broadly approved that male and female think and behave in different ways. Women emerge to
have finer memories, better social abilities and are more adequate at multi-tasking. Men, in opposed
to, seem to focus better on issues and have superior motor and spatial abilities, although obviously
many people are excluded to these patterns.

Change the word class of the underlined words. Rewrite the paragraph using the changes. (5 pts) 4

These differences have been explained as behaviour adopted thousands of years ago, when the men
went hunting while the women stayed at home and cared for their children. But another approach is
to see the behaviour as a result of the way our brains function.

These differences of the explanation were behavioral adopted thousands of years ago, when the
men as a hunters while the women stayed at home and ( caring) their children. But another approach
is to see the behaviour resulting from the way our brains function.

Change the word order of these sentences, rewriting the paragraph so that the meaning stays the
same. (5 pts) 1.5

Recent research into brain functioning by Ragini Verma’s team at the University of Pennsylvania has
used brain scans to compare 428 men and 521 women. They tracked the pathways of water
molecules around the brain area, and found fascinating differences.

Recently, Ragini Verma’s team’s studies at the University of Pennsylvania about brain functioning
has done some comparison between 428 male and 521 female using brain scans. They discovered
interesting distinctions when they followed the pathways of water molecules near by the brain.

Combine all three techniques to paraphrase the final paragraph. (9 pts) 2.5

The top half of the brain is called the cerebrum, and it is divided into a left and a right half. The left
hemisphere is thought to be the home of logic and the right is the centre of intuition. Dr Verma
found that with women most of the pathways went between the two halves, while with men they
stayed inside the hemispheres. She believes that these results explain the gender differences in
abilities, such as women’s social competence compared to men’s more intense focus on a limited
area.

The cerebrum is the term for the upper half of the brain, and is splitted into a left and a right part.
The hemisphere on the left is expected to be the logic area, while the intuition is centered on the
right . Dr Verma discovered that female pathways mostly came from amongst the two halves,
meanwhile for the male they remained on the hemispheres. These results were believed by her that
it could affect gender in their skills , like female’s social capability in contrast to male’s more focus
intensely on limitation.

Rewrite the sentences below so that (1) the word order is different (where possible), and (2) at
least one element changes from, for example, verb to noun, or noun to verb, or active to passive,
or adjective to adverb. (15 pts) 7

The examples below show two different ways to change the sentence. However, you only need to
find one way.

X is different from Y in a number of respects.

= There are a number of important differences between X and Y.
= X differs from Y in several fundamental ways.
This tool is targeted at end-users.
= The target of this tool is end users.
= End users are the target of this tool.
This survey provides a summary of the relevant literature.
= This article aims to do widen current knowledge of this topic.
= Summarizing the most pertinent papers in the field is the focus of this article.

1. Our experiments confirm previous results (Wiley 29).

The previous results (Wiley 29) confirmed our experiments.
2. We found much higher values with respect to those reported by Pandey (20).
Pandey (20) reported higher values with respect that was found by us.
3. These discrepancies are negligible due to the fact that …
Due to the fact that… these discrepancies were negligible.
4. To the best of our knowledge no other authors have found that x = y.
No other authors have found that x = y as far as we know.
5. In conclusion, our work demonstrates that x = y.
From our project we can conclude that x=y.
6. Figure 1 clearly shows that these values reach a peak when x = y.
It is shown obviously by the first figure that when x = y, the values are achieving the
maximum.
7. There is a possibility that dissimilar evaluations would have arisen if the focus had been on x
instead of y.
If the concentration had been on x rather than y, it is possible that different evaluations
would have made an appearance.
8. Many attempts have been made [Kim 94; Li 21; Hai 112] aimed at improving performance.
Numerous attempts have been created [Kim 94; Li 21; Hai 112] focused at increasing
performance.
9. As far as we know this is the first time that this system …
To the best of our understanding, this system is …. for the first time.
10. The samples were prepared as required by current norms.
The samples preparation needed to follow the current norms.
11. A great deal of attention must be paid when handling the samples.
It is a must to pay a great deal of attention when handling the samples.
12. This method suffers from a number of pitfalls.
 A number of pitfalls was suffered from this method.
13. We would like to thank the following people for their support, without whose help this work
would never have been possible:
We would like to be thankful to the following people for their encouragement, without their
assistance this work would be impossible.
14. It is very likely that participants may have answered the questions incorrectly.
The questions most likely have been answered incorrectly by that participants.
15. The reasons for this result are not yet entirely understood.
The result of the reasons are not fully to be understood.