Critical Essay Writing

Unit 6. Paraphrasing – A#1

Joanna Deborah, S.S., M.Hum.

Name: Jonathan Natanael, I Gede Gargita, Arna G Fiona Class: A

NRP: 1941017, 1941024, 1941042 Score:

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Type your name(s), class, and NRP(s) on the space provided above.
2. Type your answers on the space provided below the questions. You can simply delete the
lines and overwrite them with your answers.
3. After you finish answering the questions, save and upload your file back to Google
Classroom under the following file name: CEWriting_AssgUnit6_FirstName_NRP (i.e.
CEWriting_AssgUnit6_Joanna_410112). Use the name of one person in your group. This
person will be the representative of your group and will also be responsible for uploading
the file to Google Classroom.
4. Do not forget to click “turn in” when uploading the file back, otherwise your file will be
considered missing and will not be assessed.
5. The deadline of this assignment is Friday, 23 September 2022 @ 12.00.

Read the following text.

BRAINS AND SEX

It is widely agreed that men and women think and act in different ways. Women appear to have
better memories, better social skills and are more competent at multitasking. Men, in contrast, seem
to focus better on issues and have superior motor and spatial skills, although clearly many people
are exceptions to these patterns.

These differences have been explained as behaviour adopted thousands of years ago, when the men
went hunting while the women stayed at home and cared for their children. But another approach is
to see the behaviour as a result of the way our brains function.

Recent research by Ragini Verma’s team at the University of Pennsylvania has used brain scans to
compare 428 men and 521 women. They tracked the pathways of water molecules around the brain
area, and found fascinating differences.

The top half of the brain is called the cerebrum, and it is divided into a left and a right half. The left
hemisphere is thought to be the home of logic and the right is the centre of intuition. Dr Verma
found that with women most of the pathways went between the two halves, while with men they
stayed inside the hemispheres. She believes that these results explain the gender differences in
ability, such as women’s social competence compared to men’s more intense focus.
Find synonyms for the words underlined. Rewrite the paragraph using these. (11 pts)

It is widely agreed that men and women think and act in different ways. Women appear to have
better memories, better social skills and are more competent at multi-tasking. Men, in contrast,
seem to focus better on issues and have superior motor and spatial skills, although clearly many
people are exceptions to these patterns.

It is commonly acknowledged that males and females think and behave in different ways. Women
seem to have greater memories, better social abilities and are more proficient at multi-tasking. Men,
on the contrary, seem to focus better on issues and have superior motor and spatial abilities,
although definitely many people are exclusions to these patterns.

Change the word class of the underlined words. Rewrite the paragraph using the changes. (5 pts)

These differences have been explained as behaviour adopted thousands of years ago, when the men
went hunting while the women stayed at home and cared for their children. But another approach is
to see the behaviour as a result of the way our brains function.

These differences are explainable as an adopted behavior thousands of years ago, when the men
went to hunt while the women stayed at home and caring for their children. But another approach is
to see the behaviour resulting from the way our brains function.

Change the word order of these sentences, rewriting the paragraph so that the meaning stays the
same. (5 pts)

Recent research into brain functioning by Ragini Verma’s team at the University of Pennsylvania has
used brain scans to compare 428 men and 521 women. They tracked the pathways of water
molecules around the brain area, and found fascinating differences.

Current study of brain functioning compiled by Ragini Verma’s team at the University of
Pennsylvania has used neuroimaging to analyze differences between 428 men and 521 women. They
discovered interesting dissimilarity after tracking the lane of water molecules around the brain zone.

Combine all three techniques to paraphrase the final paragraph. (9 pts)

The top half of the brain is called the cerebrum, and it is divided into a left and a right half. The left
hemisphere is thought to be the home of logic and the right is the centre of intuition. Dr Verma
found that with women most of the pathways went between the two halves, while with men they
stayed inside the hemispheres. She believes that these results explain the gender differences in
abilities, such as women’s social competence compared to men’s more intense focus on a limited
area.

The cerebrum is the term for the upper half of the brain, and it is split up into a left and a right part.
The hemisphere on the left is expected to be the logic area, while the intuition is centered on the
right. Dr Verma discovered that with women nearly all paths went between the two sides, whereas
with men they remained inside the sides. She believes that the differentiation of abilities of the
genders are explained through these results, like men’s social competency in a limited area is less
intense than women's.

Rewrite the sentences below so that (1) the word order is different (where possible), and (2) at
least one element changes from, for example, verb to noun, or noun to verb, or active to passive,
or adjective to adverb. (15 pts)

The examples below show two different ways to change the sentence. However, you only need to
find one way.

X is different from Y in a number of respects.

= There are a number of important differences between X and Y.
= X differs from Y in several fundamental ways.
This tool is targeted at end-users.
= The target of this tool is end users.
= End users are the target of this tool.
This survey provides a summary of the relevant literature.
= This article aims to do widen current knowledge of this topic.
= Summarizing the most pertinent papers in the field is the focus of this article.

1. Our experiments confirm previous results (Wiley 29).

The earlier findings (Wiley 29) are confirmed by our experiments.

2. We found much higher values with respect to those reported by Pandey (20).
Pandey (20) reported there are much higher values with respect that we found.

3. These discrepancies are negligible due to the fact that …

There are negligible discrepancies due to the fact that…

4. To the best of our knowledge no other authors have found that x = y.

X = y have been found by no other authors as far as we know.

5. In conclusion, our work demonstrates that x = y.

Demonstration of x = y is the conclusion of our work.

6. Figure 1 clearly shows that these values reach a peak when x = y.

It is shown obviously by the first figure that when x = y, the values are achieving the
maximum.

7. There is a possibility that dissimilar evaluations would have arisen if the focus had been on x
instead of y.
If the concentration had been on x rather than y, it is possible that different evaluations
would have made an appearance.

8. Many attempts have been made [Kim 94; Li 21; Hai 112] aimed at improving performance.
The aim of improving performance has been attempted [Kim 94; Li 21; Hai 112].

9. As far as we know this is the first time that this system …

 To the best of our understanding, this system is …. for the first time.

10. The samples were prepared as required by current norms.

The current norms are the requirement for the prepared samples.

11. A great deal of attention must be paid when handling the samples.

It is a must to pay a great deal of attention when the samples are being handled.

12. This method suffers from a number of pitfalls.

There are a number of pitfalls by using this method.

13. We would like to thank the following people for their support, without whose help this work
would never have been possible:

We would like to be thankful to the following people, which made this work possible with
their help, for their support.

14. It is very likely that participants may have answered the questions incorrectly.
The questions most likely have been answered incorrectly by those participants.

15. The reasons for this result are not yet entirely understood.

It is yet to be understood the reasons for this result.