“Astra Inclinante, non obligante”

The Stars incline us, they do not bind us

Fade in:

EXT. Location #1 - Day 1

“What’s the point in living?”

In this painful world, why are we still alive?

For our dreams?

For our goals?

Or merely because we don’t want to die/

Or because me might as well live because we are born

Or living is just a concept created by humans while the truth of the matter is that everything is
meaningless?

Luna woke up from a dream

Her tears fell.

She doesn't know why she was crying nor does she remember her dream

Pinahid niya ang luha niya.

[Kumalabog ang pinto]

Dolly: Luna! Gising na! Tanghali na!

Huminga ng malalim si luna at nag ayos.

Binuksan niya ang pintuan at nakita na nag aaway na naman ang mga magulang niya

All she could do was stare at them.

It was always the same scenario.

Luna: ma alis na po ako

Luna bid her farewell.

Luna was alone.

Always alone.
Luna always wondered how having friends would feel.

Will she be happy?

Will she forget her problems?

She cant help but to think as she stared at her classmates

She walk home alone again

But when she’s on her phone with him…

It was different…

She feels happy.

Luna opened the door.

Her mother and father are fighting again.

She opened her room.

She started to write a message.

To: Sol

People paise me for handling my feelings well,

Pero sa totoo? I just keep my feeling buried deep inside

It’s like putting a pillow around my face.

The tighter i put the pillow all over my feelings,

The more suffocating it felt.

Was it really something to praise?
When i knew that if i continue to fill a bottle that's already on its bim..

I'm bound to break it?

They say that you will only regret something once its too late

Would my father stop venting her anger towards me if I die?

Will they stop fighting?

Will my father finally get a grip of himself and act like the man of the house/

Will mom stop blaming herself for my father's act?

Will they mourn for me?

It was tempting to die and disappear,

Especially when it was the only mere hope i could think of in finally getting their love and
attention

But then,

Regret is something I never liked to feel.

So i don't want to be the cause of their regret

Especially because they are close to my heart.

Still I am torn…

To: sol

I hate them, but i also don't

I love them, but sometimes i wish i didn't

I care for them, but i am tired of trying

All is too painful, yet all beautiful

My memories with them, I wish I wouldn't forget the happiness it brings.
My fights with them i wish i'd forget the pain it makes me go through

They toy with my feelings, i feel played.

I feel gaslighted,

Yet also loved.

But what if gaslighting is loving?

What if the manipulation and torment they do is their way of expressing love/?

Their actions,

They made me ponder over illogical excuses

Of their illegal doings

Maybe mom is just stressed

Maybe dad just has too much pressure and burden in his shoulder

But why am I so understanding?

When i couldn't even understand myself

My own family,

They're tearing me apart

Is this supposed to be a home?

To; sol

To escape home that was never one,

It was luxury,

However it might be something that i'll force myself to afford the moment i found you
You were sitting down the bench of the community playground,

Alone.

Sol,

That's your name,

Like the sun that shines,

A sunlight that pierce the darkness

You are the light and i am the darkness,

You are Sol and I am luna.

We are destined to meet by fate,

And the stars are the witnesses.

To; sol

My parents fought again,

I wished this could be over now.

And though i don't want to die in sorrow

I just wished to end things soon.

I don’t want to die,

Yet i also don't want to live,

I was torn,again.

My mind,

It is filled with the cacophony of all the problems bestowed to me.

I sat at the playground where I saw you,yet even my surroundings looked hopeless.

Dead leaves on the ground,

Dark clouds,
Dim lights,

A gray tone.

Everything felt solemn and melancholic,

But perhaps,

This is just how i always used to view everything

Still,

I did not expect that in the midst of the darkest clouds,

You came like a sun,

And my heart burned,

You are the light,

You are my light,

My heart,it beats for you.

My mind is filled with you.
I'm still here because of you

To sol

They say i'm trying too hard,

They say im only showing a terrible facade,

They say I'm faking it all.

Yet with all the cruel things i go through,

Why can I not feel pity for myself?

Why do I not feel bad for myself?

And instead,

Why do I blame myself?

I want to fight,

I want to protect myself too.

But i cannot help myself because the moment i even think about saying a word to them,

Tears inevitably fall from my eyes.

And when i told you that,

You cried too,

You were frustrated for me,

You were saddened for me,

And you cried for me.

“It will be okay in time, hindi man ngayon pero alam ko”

You said.

And that day I wish it will.

I stared at the cellphone waiting for your reply

[background: her parents are fighting]

I closed my eyes and sigh

Luna; will I be okay?

Luna: Still, I hope I will.

To sol

Days passed by,

Still my parents fought,

I wonder will it ever stop?
I wish you were here, sol.

I closed my phone.

[kumatok sa pinto yung nanay ni luna]

Nanay: kain na! Kailangan ka pang tawagin! Hinde mo kami yaya, luna

Luna sighed and open the door.

All she could ever did is to close her mouth.

Nanay; ayusin mo na ang hapagkainan!

Si luna ay tumango

Inayos niya ang hapagkainan.

Habang kumakain si luna dumating ang kanyang ama.

Galit na tiningnan ng ama niya ang mga pagkain sa harap.

Hinampas niya ang lamesa.

Tatay: lintek! Buong araw ako kumayod tapos ito ang naabutan ko!?

Nanay: pinambili ko pa kasi ng bigas naubusan kasi tayo-

[hampas ulit sa mesa]

Nakayuko si luna.

Tatay; hinuhuthutan mo kasi ang nanay mo kaya mabilis tayong nauubusan ng pera!

Nanay: wag mong sisihin ang anak mo! Sa tingin mo ba mapagkasya tayo sa pera na ibinibigay
mo!? Sweldo mong karamput lang!? Mas inuuna mo pa uminom at ang mga bisyo mo!

Tatay: manahimik ka! Bakit hindi ikaw ang magtrabaho ha! Puro ka dada! Putang Ina niyo!
Mas mabuti pa ang mga alak at napasaya pa ako! Kayo mga impyerno kayo!
[ galit na lumabas ang tatay ni luna]
Nanay: bilisan mo kumain luna at maghugas ka ng pinggan, maguusapn lang kami ng tatay mo

[ umalis na rin ang nanay ni luna]

Luna stared at the food she didn’t eat

She ran away.

She ran and found a tulay,

Luna: If I die will it be over?

Will I stop being a burden?

[ tears start flowing in her eyes]

Will they stop fighting?

Pagod na ako

Luna close her eyes

She was about to jump when a hand pulled her.

Luna: sol…

The rain start pouring as she started to cry

Luna felt safe for the first time.

Sol: it will be okay…

Sol; the rain will just passed by

But the moment he said that,

It stuck in her heart.

To: sol

I wonder why you always find me in a most dramatic way,

You always comforted me with your presence,
You are always there for me,

I forgot to say this, sol.

Thank you for existing. I want to keep living.

I wished this will just passed by and another day will come again,

And i will never be that again,

I am hoping so.

So thank you for showing me how to live.

To: sol

My hearts thumps,

As if it wants to free itself from my body and go to you.

We sat,

Next to each other,

Side to side.

Every senses in me,

It was heightened,

My stomach churns,

As if butterflies live inside it.

The sunlight reflects your face,

And you became more handsome than ever.

The stars must envy you,

For shining brighter than them.

“Your presence made me feel so comforted”
I smiled.
And you smiled back at me.

We gaze into each other,

You gaze at me deep in my soul,

“Just come here, and i’ll always be by your side”

You smiled at me.

Your smile.

And just then, i was so mesmerized by the sight you let me behold,

You are too good to be true,

You felt so real,

But also like a hazy lucid dream.

One that I would not want to wake up from.

Luna closed her phone.

And stared at the ceiling

She was smiling.

[kumatok sa pintuan ang nanay ni luna]

Nanay: luna?bubuksan ko ang pinto

Nagkunwaring tulog si luna.

Umupo ang nanay sa higaan ni luna

Nanay; luna, sorry dahil palagi kami nag aaway ng tatay mo…

Nakita kitang umuwi ng basang basa sa ulan…

Wag na wag mo gagawin yon ulit anak

Dahil kasalanan ko kung bakit tayo ganitp

Nagusap na kami ng tatay mo at may panibagong trabaho na siya na mas malaki ang sweldo

Hindi na natin kailangan magtipid at hindi na kami nag aaway ng tatay mo…

Kaya luna wag kang sumuko sa amin…

Mahal na mahal ka namin kahit hinde namin maiparamdam sayo.

[lumabas ang nanay ni luna]

To: sol

My mother came to me…

Will I forgive them for all the pain that they cause?

Or give them a chance because its all ive been wanting for?

Should I do what my heart yearns for?

To: sol
Sol, let’s meet at the place we first met.

I remember you always say that you will be there,

Always,

I have something to say that i couldn’t have the courage to say on the phone

I hope you come.

Luna was sitting on the bench.

Waiting…

But he never came.

To: sol

Where are you?

Are you busy?

What happened?

I waited.

But you were not there.

Will I ever see you again?

I told my mother about you sol

But as soon as I told her,

She started crying.

I hate it because i didn't know why she’s crying.

Luna close her phone when her mother came

Nanay: luna…

Naalala mo ba yung pumunta tayo sa hospital?

Anak sabi ng doctor may ptsd ka

Hindi totoo si sol anak

Luna:[umiling]

Luna: hindi yan totoo!

To sol

My cheeks were tear-stained.

Yet as i run to the playground,

More tears were falling.

‘’you have ptsd, you didnt have any outlet,
So your brain created its own escape/”

“Youve been experiencing auditory hallsucinations

You created a new person inside your head to escape your problems
‘

“Im sorry luna, but that boy is not real”

The doctors words, it rang in my ears

“He is not real

Its just your imagination

You were alone the whole time

You weren't talking to anyone”

You are real, right?

You won't disappear just because of a pill right?

You are someone who actually lives,

You are someone i actually talked to,

You are someone who actually exists…

Sol,

You are the only reason why i always come to the playground

I reached the place you said that you'll always be,

But you were not there…

So, was it true?

Are you really just a hazy lucid dream?

You…
You left without a word

You left me.

To sol:

I remember everything you have said,

That everything will be okay,

But sol i don't want to be okay without you,

Sol, are we not destined? Am I wrong?

Fate is playing with me?

And I hated the stars for making me feel like a fool.

If you are not real

Then why am I feeling this way?

My feeling are real

I love you.

Luna stared at the cellphone.

It was sent.

And her phone rings.

A message appeared

It was the same message she wrote.

In consiliis nostris fatum nostrum est
In our choices lies our fate.