Roman´s Essay on a Memorable Person

In the two-paragraph introduction, Roman tells an anecdote. He uses metaphors and images. He

then gives an idea about what his father looks like. By the introduction, his main idea might be that his

father is a super-hero and his active style of life still “incites” (inspires?) him.

I think that in the body paragraph Roman is listing the aspects of his father he would like to

develop in the next versions of the essay. He mentions his being independent, motivated, persistent,

with solid knowledge. There is an idea among this list that needs to be clarified. I quote: “Sometimes it

seems like something unreal to know everything to can do everything.” Van quotes a couple of his

father´s favorite phrases as an illustration, which I find an excellent idea to include in the essay.

In the conclusion paragraph, Roman provides a general idea about parenting, following the

guidelines for the essay. Then, he states we take time to understand how our parents accompany us,

help us improve and protect us. The second and third assertions relate to what he includes in the body

paragraphs, but does not connect them back explicitly to the main idea in the introduction.

I found the structure of the essay clear, although the conclusion, as it does not “go back” somehow

to the main idea in the introduction, needs to include this.