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Ferris o Alessandra B 2020
Ferris o Alessandra B 2020
by
Alessandra Ferriso
A THESIS
submitted to
Honors College
in partial fulfillment of
the requirements for the
degree of
Alessandra Ferriso for the degree of Honors Baccalaureate of Arts in English and Speech Communication
presented on May 29, 2020. Title: Justice Isn’t Fair: A Collection of Monologues.
Abstract approved:_____________________________________________________
Michelle Inderbitzin
I always knew I was interested in the criminal justice system, evident from the hours I
spent as a child binge watching Law & Order, Rizzoli and Isles, and Dateline when my parents
weren’t home. I very nearly pursued criminal justice as a major, but ended up going a different
route and tackling English and Theatre degrees instead. Despite my devotion to theatre and
acting, criminal justice has always been a part of my academia, and my passion.
I travelled to London, England the summer before my junior year to take a class titled
1000 Years of Crime and Punishment with Michelle Inderbitzin and was immediately invested. It
was there where my passion evolved into more concrete interests and pursuits and where I had
my first opportunity to begin working and learning right in the field. As a class we visited
Brixton Prison, a nearly 200-year-old men’s prison with a dining program that allows prisoners
nearing the end of their sentences to work as cooks and servers at the prison’s esteemed
restaurant, gaining job experience and the opportunity to work with others in a productive and
meaningful way.
I continued to have experiences like this and have now visited three different prisons and
made acquaintances with countless prisoners, both currently and previously incarcerated.
I needed a way to get these stories out, to make the general population understand that we
have a highly flawed system that deals with some of the most vulnerable members of society, to
express all the lessons I learned from my firsthand experiences and to give voice to those on the
inside who don’t quite have the same opportunity to do so that I do. I wrote a series of
monologues to give you insight into what happens in our country, to allow others to get their
stories heard outside of the prison walls, and to inspire a change in the way we think about
incarceration as a whole.
by
Alessandra Ferriso
A THESIS
submitted to
Honors College
in partial fulfillment of
the requirements for the
degree of
APPROVED:
_____________________________________________________________________
Michelle Inderbitzin, Mentor, representing Sociology
_____________________________________________________________________
Scott Akins, Committee Member, representing Sociology
_____________________________________________________________________
Elizabeth Helman, Committee Member, representing Theatre Arts
_____________________________________________________________________
Toni Doolen, Dean, Oregon State University Honors College
I understand that my project will become part of the permanent collection of Oregon State University,
Honors College. My signature below authorizes release of my project to any reader upon request.
_____________________________________________________________________
Alessandra Ferriso, Author
Introduction
I always knew I was interested in the criminal justice system, evident from the hours I
spent as a child binge-watching Law & Order, Rizzoli and Isles, and Dateline when my parents
weren’t home. I very nearly pursued criminal justice as a major but ended up going a different
route and tackled English and Theatre degrees instead. I am devoted to theatre and acting, but
I travelled to London, England the summer before my junior year to take a class titled
1000 Years of Crime and Punishment with Michelle Inderbitzin and was immediately invested.
Through that program my passion evolved into more concrete interests and pursuits and where I
had my first opportunity to work and learn right in the field. As a class we visited Brixton Prison,
a nearly 200-year-old men’s prison with a dining program that allows prisoners nearing the end
of their sentences to work as cooks and servers at the prison’s esteemed restaurant. This program
provides job experience and the opportunity to work with others in a productive and meaningful
way.
I continued to pursue experiences in this field and have visited three different prisons and
made acquaintances with countless prisoners, both currently and previously incarcerated.
I needed a way to get these stories out and to make the general population understand that
we have a highly flawed system that deals with some of the most vulnerable members of society.
I needed to express all the lessons I learned from my firsthand experiences and to give voice to
those on the inside who don’t have the same opportunity to do so. I wrote a series of monologues
to give insight into what happens in our country, to allow others to get their stories heard outside
of the prison walls, and to inspire a change in the way we think about incarceration.
I Fell
In a lot of ways, I was set up for this kind of life. In a lot of other ways, I wasn’t. My
parents raised my brother and me on a 52-acre piece of farmland. We didn’t have electricity,
grew up in a fairly old-fashioned kind of way, but I was fine playing in the woods, living in the
wild fantasies that occupied my mind where I robbed banks and commanded a gang of drug
dealers.
My dad went to prison when I was nine, leaving my brother and I to take over as men of
the household. My mom did her best, supported us in the ways she could, but when it came time
His friends were cool, the type of guys you see in the halls that strike both fear and
admiration, and I did whatever I could to solidify my place in that group by proving myself: I
always had weed. I always had money for booze. And when I was 14 years old, I committed the
I was picked up joyriding up around Oregon and thrown in a youth facility while my
brother, who wasn’t even involved in the murder, was hauled off to federal jail. I spent about
eight months there before they told me I had to leave and go back to my own county facility.
That scared me. Those eight months I spent in that youth facility became the life I’d known
longer than anything else, so when I moved, it was like I left everything - my routine, my people,
my...confinement - behind. Getting acclimated to a whole new environment was tricky, and they
don’t exactly set you up for an easy transition. Just when I got used to a whole new life, I moved
again to the adult county jail where crime was a badge of honor. The one good thing about adult
county jail was that my parents could visit and they were able to bring me fast food, which is
The lawyers grilled me again and again and again, and while my story changed over the
years, I was consistent in not taking responsibility for my actions. See the way our system works
is that the longer you deny what you’ve done, the more beneficial for you in the long-term. At
least that’s what the lawyers told me. Justice is one big chess game, and the more you can
I played my chess game for 17 years, 6 months, and 3 days, attacking and retreating and
checking then getting caught and back-tracking and trying again. By the time I walked free, I
lived my days under an umbrella of anxiety and trepidation. I was living in limbo, waiting for
that letter, that call, that told me my freedom had an expiration date and that my existence would
It came. Twice. The courts told me that I may have been reformed, but that I still had to
be punished. That I would pay for what I did at 14 for damn near the rest of my life, that there
was no guarantee I wouldn’t turn around and do it again to the next innocent man driving along
in the wrong place at the wrong time. But every time they took me back, I lost everything again.
When I was released the first time, I got a job, gained rapport in the community, started a
life 31 years late, but started one nonetheless. All that traction I made, everything I put in motion
following my release, was put on hold because the system had decided that I wasn’t finished yet.
But when you’re presented with something and told that’s what justice is…
I don’t tell people this story just to tell people. I’m a resource in a different kind of way. I
owe it to the community, to the kids who come after me, to give back in a sense. Kids are still
gonna mess up, of course, but if someone can catch them before they fall too far, well, there’s
something to be said about helping kids instead of throwing them away without a chance.
I fell in August of 1998. I was offered a hand in February of 2016. And from then on,
I Fell Narrative
Trevor Walraven and his brother were convicted of the 1998 murder of William Hall. At
fourteen years-old, Trevor carjacked Hull at gunpoint and shot him execution style before
retrieving his brother and evading the police for several days before they were pulled over along
I first met Trevor in the spring of my sophomore year when he spoke to my class about
his story. I have not forgotten this emotional and mind-bending experience.
I have heard him tell his story three times now and each time he does so with an
incredible stoicism and genuine openness. This monologue is taken almost entirely from quotes I
wrote down during my most recent experience listening to him speak. He always opens his talks
with the invitation to stop him along the way and ask any questions we may have. “Nothing is
off-limits,” he says.
After Trevor was arrested in 1998, he was taken to a youth facility where he was adamant
that his brother had nothing to do with the crime, but because his brother was eighteen years old,
he was taken to a county jail because of the Measure 11 statute, which, if applied, mandates a
minimum prison sentence that cannot be reduced by judicial authority for youth above the age of
fifteen (Marion County Juvenile Department). After eight months in the youth facility, Trevor
was transferred to a newly built detention center in his hometown county before being
transferred again at sixteen years-old to an adult county jail. It was here, he said, that the mindset
surrounding offenders changed: “In the juvenile systems, they’re pretty open to the idea that kids
are still growing up...they see the humanity in people in a way the adult system doesn’t”. The
good thing about the adult county jail was that he was more accessible to his parents, and they
were able to visit him much more often. He was sentenced to thirty years to life and spent the
first three years of his sentence at the MacLaren Youth Correctional Facility in Woodburn,
Oregon. Trevor reflects on his time there as “the first place [he] established a peer group that [he]
Realizing that he was in it for the long haul, Trevor decided to invest his time wisely. He
joined the Oregon Youth Authority as a mentor to assist troubled teens with avoiding prison
sentences. Despite his extensive involvement, Trevor said he would not participate in a violent
offender treatment program, taking the advice from his lawyer that taking responsibility would
only work against you in subsequent court appeals or trials. This is an aspect of the system that
sheds light on the “game” of it all. Lawyers, prosecutors, defendants, victims are all trying to
“win” whether that be the best sentence or the harshest punishment, instead of focusing on
rehabilitating those who have hurt and have been hurt (Bjerk, 2005). My observations and
conclusions drawn from research is that our system is a punitive one, not a restorative one.
Trevor was moved again to Snake River Correctional Facility, then moved again to join
his brother at the Oregon State Penitentiary. In 2011, he took his first Inside Out class with
Michelle. It was there, he said, that he realized the power of others believing in his worth despite
his past. “Being seen as a human was a really unique thing for me...and as Michelle says, ‘once
provides an earlier parole hearing to individuals who committed their crimes under the age of
eighteen, understanding the lack of brain development before the late twenties and recognizing
the potential for maturity, growth, and rehabilitation. Though his plea was denied by the
Department of Corrections, his attorneys gained approval through the Oregon Supreme Court
and his second look hearing was held in September of 2015, after Trevor spent sixteen years
behind bars. The judge at this hearing ordered Trevor’s release within forty-five days. The
Department of Corrections did not feel as though they had to comply with this order and did not
issue his release until they were ordered to do so again by the Oregon Supreme Court following
another year and a half of incarceration. On February 2, 2016 Trevor was informed he was going
Trevor was taken to Marion County where he was fitted with an ankle monitor, taken
through a psychological evaluation, and released to his mom and fiancée. He began talking to
students and classes, telling them his story, but it wasn’t long before things got complicated.
Trevor won an appeal that his lawyers had been pursuing for a while, but in doing so, it vacated
his previous conviction and caused a technicality issue where it appeared as though Trevor had
taken several lives rather than a single victim, and overturned the ruling, allowing a warrant for
his arrest on the original murder charges to be served to him in January of 2017.
Once again, Trevor was taken to county jail, where he spent twelve weeks behind bars
and took a plea agreement for his same sentence. He was granted another second look and was
able to contribute new information from himself and his parole officer, and again, his ruling was
favorable. He was moved to OSP for three days, and released again on May 3, 2017. During the
four months he spent re-incarcerated, Trevor lost his job and any other traction he had in
This is one person’s personal experience, but it sheds light on the way our justice system
works and has worked over the past twenty-one years. It has also taken me three times of hearing
his story to understand the complications behind his back and forth with the courts, but this is
something that happens frequently in criminal trials and proceedings. There are plenty of little
rules and loopholes that keep people incarcerated for longer periods of time than necessary.
The question when considering release is how you know someone is or can be reformed.
It is a question we’ve been struggling with for eons without anything concrete in the way of an
answer. Many argue that the people we lock up either can’t be reformed, warranting life
sentences as a punitive measure, and even more are under the impression that reform comes
naturally following a long, harsh, seemingly never-ending sentence, because nothing else will be
as effective (Lynch and Sabol, 1997; Hirschi, 1986). This thought process came about as a result
of vast amounts of discourse surrounding crime and the appropriate punitive responses, many of
unsanitary conditions as well as a clear loss of human privacy and dignity. The deterioration in
facilities, as well as the frustration with being stripped of any freedoms results in a general unrest
amongst the prison population, resulting in extreme frustration with the system and the society
that forced them into it (Frank, 1998; Lynch and Sabol, 1997). Authors Lynch and Sabol also
mention that some of this frustration comes from the disruption of social ties in communities
with these lesser charges, especially because imprisonment has such a negative impact on
younger individuals who leave prison with financial burdens and stigma and are then less
attractive as fathers and husbands, damaging their family structure (Lynch and Sabol, 1997.)
Furthermore, “‘every problem you meet on the street [is] incredibly magnified when
you live one foot from the next guy’” (Astrachan, pg. 12). This leads to increased violence
within prison facilities which then affects the ability of the staff to control the population,
inevitably impact the physical and mental health of all prisoners, as well as their ability to
rehabilitate while serving time” (Frank, 2018 pgs. 123-124). We can assume that this issue only
multiplies as we continue to pack more people into prisons without introducing increased
opportunities for educational, therapeutic, and rehabilitative services. As a result, prisoners are
not provided opportunities to work through the issues that got them into prison in the first place
nor have they developed any beneficial conventional life skills while incarcerated (Lynch and
Sabol, 1997), leaving them extremely vulnerable to recidivism upon release with rates as high as
50% (Fazel, 2015). Seeing as how most sentences are not life ones (Bjerk, 2005), most prisoners
will get out and face this exact scenario before ending up in prison and starting the cycle all over
again.
Another justification for incarceration is deterrence: the idea that the fear of harsh
punishment will prevent people from committing crime. Rhetoric surrounding this issue stems
from the early 1980s and refers to criminals as dangerous individuals who would be reformed by
observing the development of mandatory sentencing (Lynch and Sabol, 1997). However, in
standard deterrence theory, there is an assumption that “offenders are rational agents capable of
taking into consideration the consequences of their actions” (Lee, 2017, pg. 3). This doesn’t hold
because there are a number of offenders who are not rational and physically cannot comprehend
the punitive consequences of their actions at the time they commit, perhaps as a result of mental
illness or substance addiction, and therefore they are unable to be deterred by others’ prison
sentences (Hirschi, 1986, pg. 106). Furthermore, because a variety of criminal acts occur so
quickly and impulsively, there is little room for thought about consequence and possible
punishment.
Deterrence is also the main reasoning behind programs like Scared Straight, where
“juvenile delinquents” visit prisons in order to get an understanding of what life in prison is like.
The intention of the program, which was started by New Jersey prisoners in the 1970s, was to
provide an honest view of where a life of crime would lead. A study conducted following the
introduction and implementation of this program showed that the program worked for those who
most likely didn’t need it in the first place, but for those who had already become familiar with
juvenile detention facilities, the exposure to life in a maximum security prison did little to phase
them. In fact, recidivism rates actually increased for a good chunk of participants following the
program (Feinstein, 2005, pg. 41; McCord, 2003; Petrosino et. al, 2000), and these findings were
echoed in subsequent surveys following additional aversion programs. The Campbell systematic
review assessed the effects of these programs on 946 juveniles over nine studies and found that
prevention programs were more likely to cause offending than doing nothing (The Campbell
Coalition 2017). The Coalition for Juvenile Justice published a compilation of negative effects of
Scared Straight including the lack of deterrence and prevention, increased offending, cost-
inefficiency, potential legal violations of combining youth and prisoners, and ineffective funding
budgeting (Coalition for Juvenile Justice). The Cambridge-Somerville Youth Study, which
compared incarcerated youth from treatment and control groups where treatment groups received
copious amounts of resources such as tutoring, counseling, YMCA and Boy Scouts, referrals,
etc., found similarly that programming still had increased offending rates for participants
Due to the many external factors contribute to juvenile delinquency, a short program
assuming you always have the choice to enter into a life of crime or the willpower to avoid it is
uncomfortable with the idea that they are doing “nothing” to prevent crime. By continually
funding programs and passing policy that receives positive feedback from its participants, even if
they weren’t really the concerns, we are able to point to something to say we’re doing our part,
al 2000).
We can see the negative effects of prisons: the recidivism rates in this country are among
the highest in the world (Fazel, 2015). We know that programs such a Scared Straight, that
expose people to prison life in a pretty harsh way, do little to deter crime. So how can we justify
the idea that longer prison sentences are effective in working towards a more cohesive society
with less crime? Some argue that even if incarceration isn’t a deterrent, it can be a means of
ensuring victims’ safety and peace of mind by removing offenders from the environment in
which they are capable of committing crime, otherwise known as incapacitation. This then
becomes the default reason for incarceration when deterrence and retribution are disproved: “’at
a minimum, [society] must be able to protect itself from dangerous offenders and...also a frank
admission that society really does not know how to do much else’” (Crimmins, 2018). However,
in the long run, rehabilitation programs aim to provide safety by eliminating the issues that lead
people to crime, which should be the method we use to go about protecting society.
Those that are skeptical of a total reformation just have to meet someone like Trevor to
question their preconceptions. While there are always exceptions, Trevor is the kind of person
who contributes more the community on the outside than the community benefits from him being
in. In his words, “What interest does it serve for me to be incarcerated and released when I’m 40
justice system, we need to highlight the voices of those who have had that firsthand experience.
Their contribution to that scholarship provides a valuable insight that allows for a furthered
understanding of this culture. They are the ones who have “inside knowledge about prison life
and the social circumstances resulting in the loss of freedom” (Frank, 2018, pg. 117). They are
the ones who can tell you exactly what path led them there and perhaps help you understand
what could have been done to prevent their situation. If the aim is to ultimately better society, in
the sense of punishing those who have done wrong, aligning society’s morals and values,
keeping conforming members safe, and allowing retribution for those who have been harmed,
any input on that matter, especially from those right in the thick of it, should be valued.
There is no justice in keeping people who have made a complete transformation inside
while also depriving the world of those who are ready, willing, and enthusiastic about teaching
others and preventing them from making the same mistakes they did while also using their
background to make leaps and bounds in the criminal justice field. This was one of my first face-
to-face interactions with the legal system, and these lessons were further solidified in each
though, she’s wearing all black and Abuela prefers rainbow. She’s talking to the guy at the other
table, and he’s nodding all serious-like. Now he’s smiling. I know whenever he smiles it's bad.
When he smiles I get sent away. Last time I had to stay locked up all summer and you lose all
your connections when you’re sent away all summer, connections it took me years to build. He’s
Maybe I should pray. Maybe if I start talking to God, He won’t let them send me away.
Okay, here goes. Dear God...wait, is that how you start a prayer? Nobody taught me this shit.
Dear God, I am sorry for punching Carlos. I know it was wrong and if you don’t make me go
back to jail I won’t do it again. Unless he keeps jacking my money and calling me a punk. As
long as he keeps trying me, I’ll keep showing him what I’m made of. I’ll keep talking to Rhonda,
maybe I’ll try harder to do my homework. And I take back the thing about the DA’s head falling
Rhonda tells me a lot to talk to God. Every check in it’s “well have you tried praying
today?”. I don’t tell her the last thing I’m thinkin’ about on the streets is God. It wouldn’t do shit
anyhow. Mamá still cries all the time and Papá barely even looks at me when he’s home which
isn’t all that much. At least Daniel and Carlos take care of me, show me the ropes, tell me who to
look out for and who I can trust. They’ve taught me more about life than I’m sure this judge, this
DA, or even Rhonda knows about. They’ve taught me about how things work differently for kids
like us, that our brothers are forever and the adults will just look the other way if we’re being
threatened or tested. That the strongest survive and the weak don’t get a second chance.
Rhonda’s squeezing my hand now, that damn DA’s stopped nodding but that smug smile
still plays on his lips. I yank my hand away. The judge’s hair bounces as she turns to look at me
up and down with disgust, something I’m used to by now, her lips curling to address me, the
Spanish name foreign in her mouth. She pounds her little mallet as if that gets her any sort of
respect, and Rhonda deflates next to me. I knew God wouldn’t help. I shuffle off left, flanked by
two dudes who probably can’t wait to show me how many hours they’ve been putting in at the
My experiences with the juvenile justice system have by far been some of the emotional
and gut-wrenching experiences I have had in studying the criminal justice system as a whole. My
first opportunity to engage with this population came through my Juvenile Delinquency class at
the end of my sophomore year when I was tasked with spending two hours in the Marion County
Juvenile Department of Corrections playing games with and generally entertaining some of the
juvenile offenders.
The kids filed in in light grey sweatpants and crewnecks, setting up tables for us to lay
out the card games and snacks we had provided, and sitting down with us to spend a few hours
outside their normal routine. However, they were much more interested in chatting with the
college students rather than in playing Scattergories. I found myself telling them about my life,
how I did in high school, what kinds of jobs I was working or was looking to be in in the future,
what college was like, etc. Things I would never have thought to be of interest to kids, but that
they were genuinely intrigued and surprised by. Several of them expressed interest in getting
their GED, most were proud to tell me that they were the first in their family to look towards
finishing school and heading to college, some told me they needed to get out and get a job to
support their children. None of them were over eighteen, but some were as young as twelve. It is
incredibly jarring to see children in a context where you’re used to imagining much older, much
angrier, much more obviously criminal people. Those two worlds are hard to reconcile, but they
do exist.
Juvenile delinquency is a convoluted and complicated topic, but what I found to ring true
throughout my experiences with talking to and working with juveniles is Hirschi’s theory of
Social Control. This theory says that criminal activity blooms when an individual has weakened
bonds with society as a whole, and that when potential offenders are faced with a choice in
courses of action, they are most likely to choose the one that will yield the maximum amount of
personal pleasure (Hirschi, 1969, pg. 108). The four main bonds to society discussed in Social
Control Theory are attachment, commitment, involvement, and belief, and they answer the
question of not why we commit crime, but why we don’t (Hirschi, 1969, pg. 58).
Attachments are the bonds we have to conforming individuals. It is believed that a close-
knit family unit or solid friend group is likely to prevent criminal activity because the cost of
participating in such would jeopardize these attachments and result in negative consequences that
the individual values. These attachments are also responsible for teaching the individual social
acceptable behavior (Wiatrowski et. al, 1981, pg. 525). However, when a child grows up
attached to people who show the benefits of conforming to a non-criminal lifestyle, they are
more likely to follow in that path. The deterrence of crime comes from not wanting to disappoint
the ones we love with our choices (Hirschi, 1969, pg. 58). It has been shown that both the
quantity and quality of these attachments for children are able to prevent interest and
participation in criminal activity. The Control Theory Main Effects Model demonstrates this with
a simple chart that illustrates various scenarios in which an adolescent would smoke. This model
suggest that “for adolescents with a parent who smokes, the likelihood of smoking increases as
attachment increases” and vice versa (Foshee and Bauman, 1992, pg. 67). The model, however,
assumes that a parent may only demonstrate conventional norms, which underlines the
importance of quantity of attachments (Foshee and Bauman, 1992, pg. 68). Additionally, when
there is a strong parental bond, but more delinquent peer bonds, those bonds that are higher in
quantity will bear more weight in the mind of the juvenile than the adult. This is known as the
lifestyle also breeds the desire to remain on that conforming path. Children that are committed to
certain activities like sports or hobbies and do well in school are less likely to jeopardize that for
criminal activity. It is much easier to see the risk of engaging in criminal behaviors when
something important to you could be taken away. Hirschi describes this bond also as having the
effect of preventing delinquency because individuals don’t want to look bad in front of parents,
peers, teachers, etc. (Hirschi, 1969, pg. 58). In a sense, this is one of the first times kids are able
to understand the potential of that direct impact on their life instead of just trusting their parents
that they are and should be doing the right thing. In regards to school, those who are getting good
grades are likely to strive for the opportunity to attend higher education and broaden their
potential post-graduation, making it less likely for them to involve themselves in criminal
The involvement aspect of social control theory suggests that the more involved an
individual is in various conventional activities, the less time they have to participate in criminal
activity. This is not the strongest bond because it is true that some criminal activities actually
take very little time. Additionally, there is always opportunity to commit crime “before or after
legitimate activities” (Hirschi, 1969, pg. 59). However, the involvements an individual does
have in society also strengthens the aforementioned attachment and commitment bonds, which
Belief is the most disputed of all of the aspects of social control, but theorists think that
they can at least use beliefs to understand how the other bonds come into play in the prevention
of deviance. Essentially, the argument comes down to whether or not an individual believes in
the morality of the conforming laws and regulations present in society (Hirschi, 1986, pg. 59). If
they do, they are less likely to break them because they believe it is morally wrong. If they,
however, feel that these rules are unfair or worthless, they are more likely to rebel against them
simply because they do not feel morally bound to them as a result of their weakened societal
bonds (Wiatrowski et. al, 1981, 526). They will instead give in to criminal behaviors and be
more prone to crime in the future (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016, pg. 274).
Another attempt to explain delinquency, labelling theory, explores the process through
which individuals, specifically juveniles, are granted labels that determine their future decisions
and actions. Delinquency is composed of subjective definitions in the sense that no one act, and
in extension person, can be inherently deviant. Therefore, it takes the label of deviant to make it
such (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016, pg. 319; Stiles and Howard, 1996). For example, if a child is
rambunctious in class, earns poor grades, or acts out at school, they are labelled as
“problematic”. These acts are not chronic and not a part of a personal identity, but someone else
has placed that label on them. This is known as primary deviance (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016, pg.
320). Instead of digging at the root of the problem, adults in power tell these children they are
negative influences in their environments. They have labelled this child and that label carries
weight.
The adults induce a stigmatization, which can become what is known as a master status: a
label that is “so prominent or conspicuous enough to determine that all aspects of the individual
may be filtered through a particular characteristic or attribute” (Stiles and Howard, 1996, pg.
687). In other words, this turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy where the child accepts these
labels. This can be as a method of defense, attack, or adjustment to the labels and the problems
they have created. This is known as secondary deviance (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016, pg. 320). These
juveniles are also aware that they carry this label and end up feeling trapped by how they have
been defined.
Criminologist Howard Becker explains in a 1963/1973 publishing that this does not
always result in a finite future. There are cases in which some begin to label an individual and he
or she decides they do not want to continue down that path and end up turning back. “’If he
makes the right choice, he will be welcomed back into the conventional community; but if he
makes the wrong move, he will be rejected and start a cycle of increasing deviance’” (qtd. in
Inderbitzin et. al 321). However, not every juvenile who has made it this far feels as though they
are able to just abandon the path of delinquency. As an example given in Deviance and Social
Control mentions, if a juvenile commits a delinquent act, gets, caught, and starts to get
monitored as a result of heightened caution, they may rebel out of boredom or defiance. Others
outside the immediate circle will begin to adopt that label for that individual and want them to
separate from their friends and peers. That individual then begins to accept that role, known as
“role engulfment”, and hang out with other like-minded individuals, establishing a more
seamless path towards a deviant career (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016, pg. 321).
Furthermore, this label is continually confirmed. As noted by authors Stiles and Howard,
“One implication of possessing a deviant master status is that deviant behaviors that might
otherwise be ignored or excused are noted and negatively sanctioned because they are regarded
by others as confirming the deviant master status” (Howard and Stiles, 1996, pg. 687). There is
also evidence that suggests such a label could be empowering for youth, “perhaps because they
begin to think of themselves in ways that more closely resemble delinquent and criminal
identities, such as thug or gangster...are more potent than youthful identities, such as kid or
Because nobody inherently believes they are a bad person, there are five named
techniques of neutralization that explain why people decide to commit even if they know and
understand what they are doing is wrong. These techniques have been boiled down to five
phrases by researchers Sykes and Matza, “‘I didn’t mean it, I didn’t really hurt anybody, they
had it coming to them, everybody’s picking on me, and I didn’t do it for myself’” (Inderbitzin et.
al, 2016, pg. 275). These rationalizations highlight a society in which children feel neglected,
belittled, battered, unimportant, or angry and lack the resources to find adequate support systems
This monologue was inspired by the time I spent watching juvenile criminal court
proceedings. Each time a child, a literal child, walked into the courtroom, shackled and escorted
by someone much bigger than them, I was taken aback. And when charges and accusations were
read against them, I was even more surprised. Fighting and drug possession were the norm, and I
constantly wondered what the circumstances were that lead these kids down these paths and if
they would ever be able to change like they always promised the judge they would. It was tough
reconciling these two worlds in my head - one of youth and possibility and the other of crime and
punishment - and I hoped to convey that dichotomy as I explored the fear and frustration
Listen, I don’t know who the hell you think you are or what qualifications you say you
have but I am not the issue. I work seven days a week to provide for my kids and for you to sit
on your ass and tell me that after two days of your lurkin’ in my home that I’m creatin’ a
Look, I’m trying. These worksheets, these role plays or whatever you call ‘em, these
conversations, your judgment....Ever since Arthur walked out on us, I’ve been the one there for
Henry. I’m the one who keeps a roof over our head, makes sure he’s fed, has somewhere to sleep
at night. I know that you say Art leaving caused him to rebel, go off the rails, but he’s always
been like that. He’s always been a problem, cuttin’ class, starting fights on the playground. Ever
since he was a kid he talked back to us, teachers were calling home all the time, it’s just who he
is and pardon me but your clipboard ain’t gonna do nothing to change that.
I don’t need Art. Him leaving us was the best thing he ever could’ve done. He was a
terrible role model -- I knew that, I knew it and I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t get out. I had nothing
that wasn’t his and the only way I was gonna be safe was if he made that choice to leave. And he
did. And it’s crushed Henry but all I can do is hang back and do my best to pick up those pieces.
It’s been a lot harder than I thought, I can barely keep this household running much less
hang around to make sure my kid isn’t sneaking off at lunch and never coming back. So I don’t
know what kinda game plans or resource pamphlets you got in that big binder of yours but one of
them better have a magic wand or at least some money because there’s no way in hell I’m gonna
I spent the first week of my summer after my junior year commuting to the Marion
County Juvenile Department in Salem, Oregon for a class to learn about how the department
operates and all of the various services they offer. We had the opportunity to meet with
employees from every aspect of operations, including intake and processing, individual
counseling, court operations and proceedings, detention, and family counseling. The family
counseling services through Marion County are focused on helping the family as a whole to
identify the circumstances that may be contributing to problematic behaviors. They work with
programs within Marion County as well as a variety of internal operations to find the best
solution of rehabilitation and assistance for children and families on a case-by-case basis. GAP,
detention for mandated youth. It is a residential placement run by Marion County where youth on
probation remain for several weeks to several months. When in GAP, youth are closely
monitored by staff and are consistently working with probation officers, counseling services,
detention, alternative programming, and the court. They engage in day programs outside of GAP
such as school, alternative programs, or work, but then return to GAP in the afternoon and spend
One of the things that I have learned in some of my courses as well as from my
interactions with children in detention and employees that work with these children is that when
it comes to juvenile justice. As noted in Hirschi’s theory of Social Control, family and
community attachments are one a crucial aspect in keeping a child on a positive and productive
path in life and society because they are the ones that demonstrate the conforming path (Hirschi,
1986, pg. 58; Inderbitzin et. al, 2016). Oftentimes troubled children come from troubled homes
where there is not much parent/sibling support or where there are issues within the home that
prevent the child from feeling fully supported and safe (Newcomb, 1997). This is not always the
parents’ fault. Marion County recognizes that there are circumstances that make raising a child
naturally more difficult, including systemic poverty, domestic violence partnerships, substance
abuse, mental illness, etc. Parent and family counseling services and the individuals that work
there, most of whom have psychology degrees or backgrounds in professional therapy, utilize
their program, called EQUIP, to identify both the strengths of family units as well as the areas
where reinforced support may be beneficial. This is done through three one-hour in-home
and feedback sessions. From there, a plan is developed that is intended to promote success in the
child and assist willing parents or guardians in affirming the child’s growth. This program is very
much based on positivity first with critique second, but delinquency and parenting is a touchy
The counselors I spoke to mentioned that hearing that they may be contributing in some
way to their child’s problematic behaviors can be really difficult for a parent, and at times they
are unwilling to accept that diagnosis and end up living in denial of any contribution to the
negative environment. In order for family counseling services to be effective in any sense, the
parent or guardian must be willing to work with the assigned counselor to develop effective
strategies and move forwards in a productive way (Bernheim, 1982). If this is not the case, they
will see the professional as an adversary, and engage in protective measures such as emotional
withdrawal, superficial compliance, or stubbornness, all of which inhibit the growth and progress
In some cases, parents and/or guardians, like the one in this monologue, are doing
everything they can to maintain a running household, and being more involved in their child’s
everyday life just isn’t an option for them. This leads to feelings of helplessness in preventing
their children’s delinquency, and their parental efficacy is diminished (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016,
pg. 197). This struck a chord with me and I was inspired to write a monologue from a resistant
parent’s point of view after agreeing to engage in family counseling services but sensitive to the
idea that they may be contributing to a problematic environment. In this monologue, I hoped to
explore some of the factors that may have put this parent in the position they were in as well as
shed light on what the counseling services work to identify and assist with and give an insight
into how a counselor may try to assess a family and work with them moving forward.
neighborhoods often lead to these sorts of situations. Social cohesion and collective efficacy, the
desire for neighbors to establish and work towards creating a conforming and crime-free
environment, is a key aspect of prevention, and when individual parental efficacy is lessened, the
collective efficacy also starts to deteriorate (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016, pg. 196). When the
makes it easier for kids to fall into the other traps of poorer neighborhoods, namely gang activity
For children who are experiencing a lack of familial connection at home and a sense of
isolation and disconnect at school, gangs may seem like the perfect solution: “feeling marginal,
adolescents join gangs for social relationships that give them a sense of identity...gangs provide a
way of solving social adjustment problems [and], in some communities, youth are intensively
recruited or coerced into gangs” (Rizzo, 2003, pg. 65). By the time they are fully indoctrinated, it
is nearly impossible to get out of this group, even if they wanted to, which many don’t seeing as
how they’ve created a new family with new opportunities (Rizzo, 2003). And because there isn’t
a sense of community throughout the neighborhood, neighbors tend to turn a blind eye, allowing
for even more kids to fall through the cracks (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016).
neighborhood (Inderbitzin et. al, 2016). This is known as the Broken Windows Theory, which
was established by Wilson and Kelling in 1982. It states that “an unrepaired window in a
problems that are not quickly attended to lead to more neighbourhood problems” (Piscitelli and
Doherty, 2018, pg.592). This stems from both the way individuals’ behaviors break down
community controls and as well as the severe neglect of physical property. Signs such as graffiti,
litter, overgrowth, and damage sends signals to others that this is a place where criminal activity
occurs and that little is done to prevent it (Piscitelli and Doherty, 2018).
There is a need for support on several levels if this is to change. First of all, funding for
communities to have clean, undamaged buildings and areas for recreation like parks and gardens
are essential in giving community members a living space to take pride in and keep pristine.
After school programs to keep children occupied and engaged in meaningful activities as well as
providing institutions like Boys and Girls Clubs or Big Brother/Big Sister programs gives
children important peer relationships and even role models that they can look to for success.
Finally, finding support for struggling parents and guardians is a big systemic challenge that not
many people know how to deal with or the form that should take and whether it should be
internal or external, how much financially it should take priority in society, etc. As with many of
these topics that I’ve learned about and come face to face with, these issues come with a lot more
questions than answers, and change has to be on a large scale with plenty of minds working
Perception
“The crime against humanity must never be forgotten”. You know who said that? Ronald
Reagan. The crime against humanity. Humanity is us. Ourselves, our mothers, our fathers,
sisters, brothers, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins. It’s everyone you care about. But humanity isn’t
just “those people”, humanity is a concept bigger than us. It is our belief system. The way we
Most of us are born with this concept. We know how to be inherently kind, caring, show
humanity to others. Sure we make mistakes, we hurt the ones we love, but we apologize. We
But what happens when someone does not possess that concept of humanity? That same
innate sense of right and wrong? What if they decide that it is okay to take advantage of the trust
that we naturally place in others to treat others with kindness and love?
On Monday evening, the 17 of April, the defendant made the choice to abandon
th
humanity. He, along with several other known members of a local gang, congregated at the edge
of Umberhill Park, a previously agreed upon location, concealing their faces with large hoods
and bandanas, with the intent to distribute drugs. This quickly took a turn for the worse when an
older gentleman walking his dog nearby happened to catch sight of what no doubt looked to be
suspicious activity, and calmly asked the group what they were up to. After an onslaught of
obscenities and vulgar threats, the man informed the delinquents that if they did not retreat the
park, he would get the police involved. It was at this time that a local rival gang pulled up on the
other side of the park and gunfire ensued. This gentleman now lays fighting for his life in the
Emergency Room.
What if this was your father? Your grandfather? Brother? What choice would you want
It is our responsibility to forcibly instill a sense of humanity in those who do not choose
to naturally embrace it. And the only way to do this is to lead by example and show others that a
lack of human decency will simply not be tolerated. This will deter others from making the same
set of unfortunate choices that the defendant has made to get himself into this position today. So
it is for this reason that I beseech you, for the safety and well-being of our deserving society, to
prosecute this crime at the fullest extent, under the Mandatory Minimum law, ensuring this
individual to remain incarcerated where he will be able to reflect and grow and hopefully emerge
in twenty years with the sense of humanity that is not only a requirement, but a basic expectation
of our society.
Perception Narrative
A young man, oldest of three, is raised in a poor household. His father is an alcoholic
who physically and verbally abuses his wife. His mother works two jobs to put food on the table
for her children, and is never home to take care of the younger two kids, so this boy is tasked
with taking care of his siblings whenever he is able, which unfortunately comes at the price of
sleep and homework, so he often shows up late to school (when he goes) with missing
assignments. His teachers see him as problematic, know that he’s “one to watch out for”, so
instead of checking in with him, they send him to detention then pass him onto whoever is
Ever since he was about twelve or thirteen, some of the older boys from the
neighborhood would chat with him when they passed him on the street or invite them over to
hang out on the weekends. In search of friends and a fun Friday night, he would take his
evenings to hang out with them. They drank and smoked, but he had made the decision not to
When he turned fifteen, some of the older guys approached him and told him he was old
enough to start making some money if they wanted to work with them. Eager to help out his
mother, he slowly started accepting low-risk odd jobs here and there. He did a lot of drug drops,
but never came into contact with anyone for more than five minutes, and he wasn’t using, so he
figured the payoff was worth it. His mother never asked where the extra money came from, but it
was incredibly helpful to the family and he felt that he had the responsibility to keep providing
what he could. As the quantity of the drops started increasing, so did the pay, as well as the
On the night in question, the young man was tasked with delivering to a high-profile
client. Knowing the unpredictable nature of this kind of transfer, his fellow members came with
him, but unbeknownst to him, had come strapped. A car pulled up for the drop, and five
members of a rival gang emerged instead of the expected client, and before anyone could even
known as prosecutorial discretion. This essentially means that they have the sole ability to decide
whether or not to formally charge a defendant, the charges they are going to bring against that
Most assume that the judge holds all the power of decision in the courtroom and the
lawyers are simply there to persuade him or her to choose their side. However, as a result of
prosecutorial discretion combined with the tough-on-crime mindset that birthed Mandatory
Minimum Sentencing, this could not be further from the truth (Bjerk, 2005, pg. 592). Under
pressure to succeed in cases and please the public, prosecutors are able to decide whether they
want to pursue any number of cases as a Mandatory Minimum Sentence or not (Dahl, 2014, pg.
271). This case specifically could warrant a series of charges with a variety of penalties, most of
them much less harsh than what the DA calls for in this monologue, seeing as how the individual
wasn’t directly involved in the shooting and was simply in possession of a low-class drug. Or, in
an effort to boost the win ratio and win favor with the tough-on-crime crowd, the prosecutor
sentences to certain crimes with no possibility for reduction (Bjerk, 2005). This law also dictates
that any persons fifteen or older will be tried as an adult, and these same strictures will be
applied to their sentencing (Marion County Juvenile Department). At first glance, this may seem
like an excellent method of deterring people from committing crime, but in reality, the
consequences of this measure are more harmful than good (Bjerk, 2005; Feld,
1999). Historically, as a society, we’ve made the decision to punish people based on a
discretionary system which has evolved into the judge and jury courtroom battles that we’re so
familiar with now. The introduction of Measure 11 strips the judge of this discretion, and instead
gives complete discretionary power to the prosecuting attorney, commonly dubbed ‘prosecutorial
discretion’ (Bjerk, 2005, pg. 592). The way our current system is structured allows the
prosecuting attorney to determine what kind of charges are brought against defendants and what
level to charge them at. This allows prosecutors to essentially dictate the trial at hand, potentially
allowing them to focus on a charge that may boost their win ratio over taking into consideration
the details and extremities of the individual case. This is problematic when prosecutors are able
to justify this decision because of the way our system treats juveniles: “On the one hand, states
treat juveniles just like adults [and]...use the adults standard of ‘knowing, intelligent, and
voluntary under the totality of the circumstances’...on the other hand, even as juvenile courts
have become more punitive, most states continue to deny juveniles access to jury trials or other
rights guaranteed to adults” (Feld, 1999, pg. 14). Therefore, if a prosecutor decides to bring a
Measure 11 charge, the judge has absolutely no say in the punitive outcome (Feld, 1999). This
sends the message to defendants, ringing especially clear for children, that society has decided
they are ‘bad’ and that there is no way for them to be labelled any differently, engraining the
word ‘criminal’ into their personal identities instead of providing a suitable punishment and
opportunity for reform. Furthermore, once inside, because there is no possibility for sentence
reduction based on good behavior, there is no motivation for anyone locked up for a Measure 11
crime to behave. They will either be released at the end of their sentence or they are locked up
for life, and their behavior reflects this, inevitably influencing other prisoners whether or not they
law, allowing all youth who are convicted in adult court to have access to a second look hearing
halfway through their sentence, during which they may be eligible to be released into parole
instead of finishing out their term of incarceration (Youth Justice Reform). This bill also
eliminates life without parole sentences for youth offenders, and ensures that there is at least a
chance for parole after fifteen years of incarceration (Marion County Juvenile Department). This
is a start, but there is still a long way to go in completely reforming juvenile procedure,
especially as the tough on crime mindset that paved the way for the establishment of this
Because we are looking at slowly backing away from a one-size fits all approach to
sentencing, there is a need for a more individualized method of identifying factors that affect
criminal behavior. This is where we introduce the concept of mitigation. Mitigation is the
leading up to the crime (Andrews, 2012). It “includes, but is not limited to, compassionate
factors stemming from diverse frailties of humankind, the ability to make a positive adjustment
areas of life...any evidence bearing on the degree of moral culpability” (Andrews, 2012 pg. 679).
Mitigation specialists are used by the defense counsel to present any number of these reasonings
in order to give contextual information surrounding the offender and his or her crime and can
come in any form, though commonalities include social workers who have expertise related to
alcoholism, immigration, etc. “The possibilities are as diverse as human conditions” (Andrews,
2012, pg. 679). Because there are so many factors that may contribute to the environment in
which one makes the decision to commit crime or engage in non-conforming behaviors, there
should be the same amount, if not more, solutions, both punitive and rehabilitative, for
offenders.
Everyone I have met throughout my studies has had a different story. When we decide
there is a one-size-fits all solution to crime and justice, we ignore the different needs of those
who have been most vulnerable in the environment we have created, which leads to an anger
with the system, a hopelessness outside of the system, and an inability for individuals and
Hey, lemme ask you. You ever heard of a MacBook? Yeah, like, one of those
little...computers. You know they're barely an inch thick nowadays? When I went in, they were
these giant boxes, took up a whole room, and now, you can fit ‘em on your lap! No wires or doo-
When Mr. Richards asked me about getting myself one of those for data input, I was so
confused. I thought to myself, how the hell am I gonna wrangle a giant box into work each day
and home every night and I looked at him and I said “sir, I spent a lot of time in the yard while I
was inside but with all due respect there is no way I am gonna be able to manage that”. He
looked at me for a second, chuckled, then wrote down some directions on a little slip of paper
and that’s how I wound up at some big glass building with an apple on the front. I thought he’d
lost his mind, sent me to some newfangled fruit market, but turns out fruit is synonymous with
around a uniform, trust me, but when I say they were matching, I mean...anyways one of the
younger ones kinda bounded up to me with this little bug in his ear with a wire comin’ outta it.
His name was Matt or Mike or Matteo or somethin’ like that, and he was holding this little glass
screen that couldn’t have been much bigger than my palm and he wouldn’t stop tappin on it.
Tap tap, hey how are ya doin’ today, tap tap tap, what can I do for ya, tap tap. I told him I
wanted to buy a computer, that my boss had sent me here to get one so that I could do data input.
His tappin’ got real intense then, I was worried his fingers were gonna snap right off, and before
I could even tell him how to spell “Richards” another one of those red polo, long khaki minions
ran right out with another little bug and wire in his head -- Lord knows next we’re all gonna be
puttin’ chips in our skin or something -- and handed me a box that couldn’t be more than, gosh I
dunno, this big? Then Matthew or Masterson or whatever tap tapped again on that little screen
and told me I was all good to go. I couldn’t even ask where all the rest of the doo dads were
before he scurried off to tap at someone else. I’m tellin’ ya man, times have changed.
classes during my junior year. Although it is entertaining and a little bit silly to watch someone
struggle with how much the world has changed within such a short amount of time, this is a real
challenge for those emerging from their time behind bars and having to create a whole new life
As soon as prisoners are released from their term of incarceration, there is an expectation
that they integrate into society immediately. However, ftude of factors that make this transition
extremely difficult, especially in a short period of time. Most prisoners, if they’ve worked at all,
have only worked in highly-structured and strictly monitored jobs on the inside (Davis et. al,
2013). Although there are attempts, many of these jobs aren’t successful at replicating an
authentic work experience like one that would exist on the outside. Furthermore, these jobs are
incredibly selective, so those who are incarcerated for shorter, though still lengthy, periods of
time will not even have the opportunity to partake in work, especially given the prejudice against
those who are required to disclose their felon status (Agan et. al, 2018). For those who have
found themselves incarcerated for longer periods of time, they may re-enter a world that is
completely different from the one they left behind (Farkas and Miller, 2007, pg. 4). Finally, the
offender may be facing a variety of personal challenges that stem from their past as an offender
challenges include but are not limited to “poor inter-personal skills, low levels of formal
education, illiteracy, innumeracy, poor cognitive or emotional function, and/or a lack of planning
and financial management skills (Farkas and Miller, 2007, pg. 4).
Considering how fast technology is constantly being modified, adapted, and invented,
and how difficult it is to keep up with the fast-paced generational shifts and political atmospheres
as someone living a completely unbarred and privileged life on the outside, imagine how head-
spinning it would be for someone convicted of a robbery at sixteen to spend life behind bars until
they are at least twenty-three-and-a-half, per Oregon Mandatory Minimum Sentencing laws, and
how different the climate and environment would be for them upon release. Now they must face
the hardship of finding a job with little-to-no experience in a world that may be alien to them and
must find a way to work through all of these obstacles, oftentimes navigating this with no
external support.
If they somehow manage to jump through each of these hoops, they will be constantly
monitored, tracked, and watched, and the standards for them are much higher than any normal
employee. Logistically, this process is complicated, and that is without consideration of the
familial relationships they’ve left behind. Perhaps this individual came from a gang situation,
where their only family and relationships are people heavily involved in gang activity and the
desire to separate themselves from that life leaves them with no conforming support system or
ties to a safe community. Perhaps this individual simply got mixed in with the wrong crowd and
found themselves in a particularly sticky situation, but their family is unwilling or unable to
welcome them back into their lives once they’ve been released, again leaving them to flounder
on their own. These are all situations I’ve heard firsthand accounts of from those on the inside.
Clearly reintegration is an issue, but there are a variety of programs in place that assist
with this transition and provide valuable life and work experience to prisoners either just before
or just after they have been released. My first encounter with this type of programming was with
The Clink Brixton Prison restaurant. This program involves training prisoners who are within six
to eighteen months of release to run a gourmet restaurant and having them participate at a variety
of levels. This provides them with both practical work experience in a restaurant as well as the
experience of working with a team in a traditional job. This type of project has spread to a few
other prisons in England and has shown remarkable success, with recidivism rates reducing to
In San Francisco, The Beat Within magazine-newsletter publication of writing and art
allows prisoners to publish their stories in whatever form they desire. This program “refashions
wards into writers, artists and in some cases, free men and women” (Sanders, 2004). The Beat
Within publication allows prisoners a creative outlet to explore some of the difficulties and
obstacles in their lives and their incarcerations, while providing them with connections to the real
world and potential employment opportunities following release. The publication also touches
youth who are at risk for criminal involvement, giving them an outlet to express themselves in or
simply giving them comfort in knowing there are other people out there who dealt with the same
things they are dealing with but they can make a different, better choice.
have proven to have the highest success rate in reducing recidivism and encouraging positivity in
teens and youth as they reintegrate into life outside incarceration. This is the kind of program
that the prisoners at Oregon State Penitentiary are after with their prisoner-led panels and
workshops with local at-risk youth. They decided to introduce this kind of programming in
Oregon after learning about several other success stories with similar programs. In Silicon
Valley, incarcerated men and women are making the choice to learn how to code through “The
Last Mile”, a program that focuses on training prisoners in some of the highest demanded skills
in California and actually employs them in the prison, allowing them to make wages and
progress towards paying off restitution. Students are also able to coach youth through coding via
Skype (Guynn and Diskin, 2018). The subsequent success of these prisoners is undeniable -
access to knowledge and skill development that is useful outside of prison walls motivates
incarcerated individuals and gives them the tools to succeed in a workplace environment,
In Oregon specifically, the Oregon Youth Authority peer mentoring program allows
finding the value in seeking treatment. This results in both a resource for the younger offenders
to look towards in seeking reform as well as giving the counselors a sense of purpose in life. As
one graduate-turned-counselor states, “‘To help out other people in the same way others helped
me made me feel like not a bad person’” (Wieber, 2018, pg. 3). Even if programs like these don’t
lead directly into career paths, it allows individuals to process the choices they made and where
their lives lead them, forgive themselves, acknowledge their internal change and progress, and
Grit
You don’t have an excuse in the world to say you can’t be great. I don’t care who said
what about you, to you, any of it. That’s the past, this is the present. I know what it’s like. I was
you. I get it. You’re alone, you go to juvie, everything is “yes sir, no sir”, you don’t trust anyone,
you don’t feel like your truth is gonna help, you do what you can to make your own life, your
own routine. But what you can’t do is succumb to the hopelessness of it all.
Look at these guys around here. Some of them have said fuck it, I’m stuck in here for
what seems like the rest of my life, I’m gonna sit on my ass and eat Cheetos all day and watch
TV and not do anything productive. But some of them have decided to discipline. They’re out
there on the yard, getting fit, staying active. They’re in there taking class after class after class
because they realize they are smart enough to learn, that getting a degree isn’t impossible.
I can see the doubt in your eyes. Don’t trust it, don’t get your hopes up, they’re talking
about goals and I can’t even pick what I want for dinner, but listen to me. Just listen. There are
things they don’t tell you, the staff. They’re not trying to make your life harder, it’s all
just...complicated. Even they can’t keep it all straight and, honestly, it’s not their priority. Not
their job. But there are options for you. There were options for me and there are options for you.
There are programs. To get you educated, to help with whatever you’re dealing with
personally, conditional release. There are ways and people that want to help you with your fresh
start, but you have to make that choice for yourself. You are who you hang out with. You are
who you decide to be. Your choice is your choice, but when you get out, it’s all a mental game.
Are you gonna stick to what you’ve built or are you gonna slink back to the easy way out, submit
to all those old habits and temptations? I want you to succeed, but whether you do or not doesn’t
cause me to lose any sleep at night or any progress I’ve made for myself. Don’t keep making
Grit Narrative
Johnathan Baker has another story that anybody can Google and read about, but that I had
the privilege of hearing in person firsthand. He’s an attractive guy and blends in easily with the
college kids milling about Oregon State seeing as how he’s roughly the same age as most of the
home after discovering his father dead from alcoholism and eventually landed with a physically
and verbally abusive uncle whose wife fled in search of a better life - that culminated in the
He spent the next week or so after the murder just driving, and ended his run with a high
speed chase where he was eventually detained and taken into a 72 hour interrogation. He didn’t
say a word.
Johnathan’s story is unlike most I’ve heard. Those that I’ve meant on the inside have
readily admitted their crimes were a result of them being wrapped up in the wrong crowd or as
an accidental incident that occurred as a result of bad choices, but this was the first I’d heard
where the crime seemed to be a result of a really genuine and well-rounded individual hitting a
breaking point.
One of Johnathan’s friends’ parents had provided a safe place for him to go after his
transition to living with his aunt and uncle. His grades began improving and, in his words, he
“got a glimpse into living in a house that was actually stable”. It was this family that stuck with
For six years, Johnathan slowly began to work towards a more productive and hopeful
life. Previously struggling with school, he began taking just one class on the inside, trailing a
year and a half behind where he should have been in high school, and ended up graduating in
nine months with a 3.0 GPA. He slowly began opening up, talking about his experiences, and
taking part in the Family Engagement Committee. It wasn’t long before he was mentoring the
youth he was incarcerated with, and in 2014, he was offered adoption by the family that had been
credits as of this past year, with several more to finish for his degree, worked full-time as a
barber, and spent his free time teaching kids about all the programs offered to help with release
as well as what opportunities college provide and how they could navigate the rest of their
sentences and subsequent future with success and determination. This all occurred while
Johnathan’s lawyers tirelessly worked with him to pursue commutation and get him a
presentation in front of the governor's counsel. Within a month, he was released to his new
adoptive family, free to rebuild his life. This happened at the end of 2019. Johnathan now plans
by the worst thing that they have ever done. There are so many circumstances surrounding crime,
and, ultimately, there are plenty of people that just get dealt a bad hand. There are always
exceptions, of course, but those that got caught up in something bigger than themselves,
especially at such a young age, do not deserve to spend the rest of their lives paying for it.
It may sound crazy, but some of the most impressive, most humble, most selfless people I
have met have been those that have committed some very intense crimes. And this injustice truly
solidified when I spent three months visiting the Oregon State Penitentiary, studying with and
Terrified. How could I not be? This country has told me that when I walked through that
gate, I walked into one of the most dangerous situations I could legally put myself in. And
looking back? Hearing that just makes me laugh. I mean sure, some of them were angry. Some of
them had violent pasts. Some of them held hate in their hearts, for the system, for their choices.
But after just ten minutes talking to them, getting to know them, that wasn’t what was
frightening to me.
I used to think the same way as you. I’ve been conditioned from the beginning to believe
what everyone says. An eye for an eye is the only justice, completely stripping someone of every
shred of individuality and independence is the only way we can go to bed at night feeling like
we’ve taken one step closer to getting all the bad guys off the streets. But what I’ve realized is
this country, this system, has shredded to pieces every potential for empathy for those who make
mistakes. Mistakes. And what does it say about us if we refuse to allow someone to even try to
Those guys in there are looking out at us, screaming, “let me try, let me make it better, let
me get better”. And we look back at them from our privilege, our freedom juxtaposed with their
two to a cell, behind metal bars, denim uniforms, working day in and day out to scrap together
some meaning of life, and we say no. You aren’t good. And you never will be.
And look at me. I’m white. I’m attending college. I am walking into their lives, into their
literal prison, by choice. To learn. I scream privilege. And I’m asking them to share themselves
with me in an incredibly invasive way, asking them to tell me how they view the world and have
them trust that I will listen, that I will try to understand, that I will do something with what they
say.
It sounds kind of funny reflecting on it now, but yeah, I was really nervous. I was scared
they wouldn’t accept me. Concerned they would laugh at my idea of struggle. Apprehensive that
they wouldn’t realize that I wanted to help or didn’t think I could. Afraid they would think I was
just some dumb girl with no idea about the realities of the world or any of the real darkness that
happens in it.
People don’t get it. They don’t consider prisons and prisoners and jail sentences in their
daily lives because they don’t have to. They don’t understand how incredibly unjust our justice
system is, and because we all aren’t out there, screaming at the higher ups to take a look at how
we treat our offenders, it’s not changing. Not fast enough anyways. There are other people to
help, other problems to fix, other ways to divert our attention away from those that we have said
friend were in this situation with no way out. Interacting with prisoners is scary at first, but
what’s even scarier is the idea that some of the best people with the potential to make the most
The Inside Out Program is a national program that began in 1995 with the help of Lori
Pompa, a professor in the Criminal Justice Department at Temple University in Philadelphia, PA.
It is an educational program that brings together college students with incarcerated students
inside a prison, jail or other correctional setting. Inside Out believes that higher education is
strengthened when it is made widely accessible and when it “allows participants to encounter
each other as equals, often across profound social barriers” (About Us, 2020). The mission
statement mentions that one of the main goals of Inside Out is to create opportunities for those
inside and out to have transformative learning experiences as well as allow for unique problem-
solving in areas of crime and justice and general social inequality and problems (About Us,
2020). I was lucky enough to take an Inside Out class in Fall of 2018 in Oregon’s maximum
It’s tough to sum up my experience with and reaction to Inside Out into one monologue,
but I’ve had a lot of practice answering questions like “what was it like?”, “what did you even
learn about?”, “were you actually with convicted criminals?”, and the ever-present, “were you
crime and delinquency as well as coming up with our own responses to preventing delinquency
and bringing awareness to the prison population as a whole. The guys inside were particularly
concerned with the programs they had spent time working on in which they held workshops and
panels for at-risk youth to educate them and help them identify the best practices in moving
forward towards a conforming and productive lifestyle. The guys, though more than willing to
share their life experiences with us, were unwilling to do so with the children they interacted
with, because they knew from their experiences as “delinquent youths,” that they were now the
role models that would be inadvertently promoting a message that crime was cool. The kids
would look at them and say, “hey, this guy turned out alright and he committed crimes in the
Going to class each week was an event. All ten of us (including Michelle) had to drive to
Salem - a full forty-five minutes away - but left about two hours or so before class started
because of the lengthy procedures we had to follow to get access to our classroom, involving
metal detectors, lining up in alphabetical order and affirming our pre-screened names with a
guard, exchanging IDs for badges, then getting buzzed through several mechanized barred gates
and climbing to the top floor of the building to set up some folding chairs in the small classroom
allocated for our evening. Once in class, chatting with the guys about how their weeks had been
before settling into whatever topic we were diving into that day, it was easy to forget our
environment and the different paths that lead us there. We were just connecting as people with
the desire to learn and the drive to change. However, we were harshly reminded of the institution
we hung out in at the end of the night, again marching in order back through the prison, buzzing
racism and oppression. In 1718, the passing of the Transportation Act allowed British offenders
to be shipped to America and work off their sentences through manual labor, the first real
example of prison labor (Barnes, 1921). Throughout the 1700s, the concept of “prison” involved
invention of the word “penitentiary” by John Howard, revealing the intention of prisons as places
The realization that a person’s environment often shapes their lives is not a new one, and
people began to recognize the problematic nature of forced prison labor. Talk of reform took off
by the end of the 1770s, and was catalyzed by the American Revolution, which involved
reducing the amount of crime one could be punished for. In the 1870s, the development of the
National Prison Congress concretely defined their view of what the purpose of the prison system
is: “’The central aim of a true prison system is the protection of society against crime, not the
punishment of the criminals’” (Edge, 2009, pg. 16). Delegates were able to establish a sentencing
method called indeterminate sentencing, where judges were able to dictate minimum and
maximum sentences for convicts, and good behavior, along with the consultation of parole
boards and prison guards, would actually determine the release date (Barnes, 1921).
It is clear that we have aggressively strayed from these ideals, instead rooting for harsher
sentences, longer incarceration times, and a significant distaste for early release (Morris and
Rothman, 1998). The United States is currently home to 5% of the world’s population, but 25%
of the world’s prison population. We have the highest rate of incarceration in the world. When
the thirteenth amendment was passed to abolish slavery, the loophole that we kept in place was
that slavery was indeed illegal, “except as a punishment for crime”, allowing power figures to
use it however they deemed fit (13 , 2016). This came at the price of African American freedom,
th
and the first prison boom in America came quickly after the Civil War as incarcerated black
labor was used to rebuild the southern economy. In order to justify this mass targeting of
individuals, depictions of black people were animalistic and always included some form of
criminal narrative. Lynching and executions were plentiful and the Klu Klux Klan rose to power,
and segregation ensured that there were tangible and legal determinants between “us” and
“them”. This is really where the country’s fascination with crime and punishment began, the fear
of the monsters they’d created themselves encouraging slogans like “justice delayed is justice
denied,” allowing the continuation and perpetration of what, by the time the 1970s rolled around,
With Ronald Regan’s election came the infamous War on Drugs, a movement that
sparked a universal excessive arrest and charging reaction to drug crimes that continues even
today. Thousands were incarcerated for lower level drug offenses, and the scapegoat continued
to fall on the black Americans, whose association with drugs made them easier to vilify and
continually incarcerate. This resulted in the first form of mandatory sentencing, in which crack
cocaine sentencing was harsher than cocaine, the white drug of choice. The continued speech and
conversation surrounding these “superpredators'' and drug criminals only perpetuated the fear of
crime, and the public completely bought into it. As the Netflix documentary 13 puts it, “when
th
you make people afraid, that always justifies putting them in the trash can” (13th, 2016), a
mindset that has undoubtedly driven the support of tough on crime penalties and the eventual
Furthermore, prison is often used in place of mental health care, especially for those with
illness, yet there is an extreme lack of accessibility for medication and therapeutic care within
Having this history in the back of my mind was infuriating as I befriended these
wonderful individuals who, yes, had made mistakes and committed crimes, but had worked and
were still working to be better, but our country had decided long ago that rehabilitation either
notable interest in the way countries around the world were operating their prisons. The general
consensus around the world is the very notion that we vehemently reject: rehabilitation is and
should be the primary goal of restricting someone’s freedom. Norway and Finland are primary
examples of this mindset. Baz Dreisinger, author and researcher, took it upon herself to travel the
world’s prisons and document her findings in her novel, “Incarcerated Nations: a Journey to
Justice in Prisons Around the World”. When touring prisons in Norway, the governor she spoke
to casually commented on American prison systems: “Treat people like dirt and they will be dirt.
Treat them like human beings and they will act like human beings” (Dreisinger, 2018).
This is reflected in the system they have established, commonly referred to as an IKEA
prison by those on the inside as well as the surrounding community. Incarcerated individuals in
Norway live in shared units without uniforms and bars, equipped with nice furniture, gyms, a
climbing wall, opportunities for artistic outlets, a library, and a variety of health services and
drug treatment options. And upon release, there is no stigma. The assumption amongst society is
that reformation has occurred and that they are ready for a second chance at life (Dreisinger,
2018). This may seem lax, but the 20% Norwegian recidivism rate compared to the 76.6%
recidivism rate of the United States proves Norwegians may be onto something. Their view is
that the restriction of freedom is enough of a punishment, and that when the focus is on
rehabilitation with prisoners knowing that they will eventually be released - there is very, very
little life sentencing that occurs - they are more inclined to use that time to work on themselves
Finland has introduced the concept of an “open prison”, which is the final step before a
full reintegration into society. Prisoners essentially roam freely in a confined community in
which they work, pay rent, go grocery shopping, and live their everyday life relatively
unrestricted with the opportunity for several vacation days to visit their family on the outside.
This idea was developed in the 1930s as a response to research conducted about the inefficiency
of prisons, research that the United States is just now starting to catch onto (Bichell, 2015).
Knowing that we are potentially decades away from integrating concepts and institutions
like this into our own country’s system but having direct interaction with those who could
benefit greatly from it is heartbreaking. But the way they keep their heads up and push harder to
inject meaning into their lives because they believe they can is inspiring. It’s a strange mix of
whom are locked away for life or close to it, is clearly an experience unlike any other, and one I
will never forget and never get tired of talking about. I met and became close with many of the
guys I met on the inside, learned their stories, their personalities, their goals and ambitions, and
they learned mine. We related to each other in a way I never imagined possible for two sets of
people from completely different circumstances and situations and with so many different paths
in life ahead of us. We were all connected in the sense that we knew there was something about
our justice system that was broken and we all had an ache to do something about it.
Conclusion
As I composed this project and up through my defense, I was asked about why I chose to
present my work, my experiences, and my research in the way that I did. Why did I decide to
write monologues in lieu of say, a research paper, a collection of interviews, a one act play, etc.?
First and foremost, these experiences I have had needed to be shared in a personal and emotional
way, and allow for testimony, both from myself and from those I met, so I decided to embrace
the skills I have been honing from my English and Theatre majors and present everything I have
Theatre’s primary goal, as I have been learning over the past four years, is to tell stories
and to do so in a way that unites people from all different walks of life. What I have been
experiencing are a collection of stories unlike any other. A collection of interviews presents a
snapshot of a conversation without commentary and does not allow the agency to inject emotion
and emphasis the way creative writing does. A one act play demands unity and a cohesive story
with a single focus. Neither of these things encapsulates what I have seen and heard over the past
four years.
intertwined stories and voices to be heard. It allows each individual person and experience to
occupy the entire space they are given to share their perspective and their message without
having to relate in some way to another. Monologues are inherently performative, and having
actors read them to a camera to present at my defense allowed for the genuine emotion and
stakes that makes people care about these stories to shine through. I asked people to keep in mind
that these monologues, though they were well-read and genuine, were not memorized for the
purpose of reminding everyone that these are the stories and experiences of others and that they
are the ones getting the chance to speak through another’s performance.
Moving forward, I am pursuing an acting career, but this project is dear to my heart and I
do not expect to let it go anytime soon. I plan to engage in as many opportunities as possible to
work with and for the incarcerated population and share their stories in whatever way I can.
Perhaps I will write more monologues, perhaps I will find advocacy in another way. I hope to
bring theatre and acting into prisons and use it as a method of healing and conversation starting
for those on the inside. And as for this specific collection, I hope to make it accessible to those
who are willing to hear it in some way. Whether it’s a piece of social justice theatre with injected
commentary and context surrounding each monologue, whether it’s a web series that I can
continually add to and speak through, whether they become circulated in the world of auditions
and monologue competitions, I want them to be heard by more people because we have a long
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