Portfolio 8

Aleyna Uzunosmanoğlu

Prep 12

Grade: 17

Mandatory Volunteering

Mandatory volunteering can be viewed positively and negatively by many groups. I am on the
negative side. In my opinion mandatory volunteering is a personal choice and it would only be an
exhausting and meaningless process.

Mandatory volunteering is a personal choice and only if the person wants to do it. Otherwise, the
person who fulfills her duty will only do it for the sake of doing it. And this will neither benefit
the person nor the project he or she volunteers for.

Some schools require participation in volunteering projects as a graduation requirement to

increase volunteerism rates. Yes, this helps to increase volunteering rates, but if students do it
involuntarily, their attitude towards volunteering will be negatively affected. There will be
unwillingness and even revulsions. As soon as they graduate, they probably won't continue to
volunteering.

This is not the only factor, mandatory means intervening in a person's life compulsorily. A
student who is required to volunteer for graduation may have a family that needs support after
school, an after-school activity or an additional lesson. All of this must be considered before
pushing a student for something like this.

As I mentioned before, volunteering should be done voluntarily. This mandatory should not be
applied in schools and students should be supported in this regard. They should be encouraging
rather than discouraging the student. While doing this, it is necessary to offer options, explain and
leave the rest to the student, not to force it. In this way, most of the students will do it with their
own will and in the best way they can, without forcing.

In conclusion, there is no need to force any student to volunteer. They already know what to do.
Trust and believe in young people for volunteering, do not require them.
Feedback:

 You need to improve the introductory paragraph. You could give background information
about the topic. What is the topic in question, the discussion, etc.
 In the thesis statement you need to introduce the focus of the essay. By the focus I mean
the supporting ideas (The reasons why are you for or against). And in the body
paragraphs you should explain those reasons with more details, examples, fact, anectods
et. This thesis statemen doesn’t really relate to the body paragraphs.
 You might want to think about the organization of the essay. Do you body paragraphs
really support your thesis statement? They have to be related directly.
 In the conclusion you need to cover the ideas you presented in the rest of the essay. You
can restate your thesis statement with other words or you can summarize the ideas
presented in the body paragaphs relationg to the thesis statement. You can rethink about
your conclusion.
 Pay attention to sentence structure and vocabulary choice a little more.

Ideas Organization Word Choice Sentence Structure Mechanics Total

4 2 4 5 2 17