LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 1

A Qualitative Study of Transwomen’s Life Satisfaction in Banda Aceh

Word count: 2200

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Abstract

Transwoman is a condition of gender identity disorder where a man feels, thinks and behaves

in feminine way and it is the opposite from their own biological sex. This deviated behaviour

hasn’t got recognition and acceptance from society in Indonesia caused by social construction

of gender contradictory. The intention of this study is to comprehend transwomen’s life

satisfaction in Banda Aceh through participant’s lived experiences and quality of life by

using a qualitative phenomenological approach and structured virtual interview. Participants

whose age are ranged from 24-36 years old and have been a transwoman for more than 4

years were collected using snowball sampling. Data analysis results revealed that life

satisfaction of transwomen is obtained after they admitted their conditions and their

achievement to transform their physical appearance to be a woman. Their life satisfaction was

originated from social encouragement from transwomen community and by their companion

that satisfied their intimacy needs. The major barrier they faced was social disapproval which

enhanced their distress as they feel they cannot express themselves freely and are expected to

behave according their biological sex. They use religious practice as a way to get closer to

God as coping mechanism to cope with their obstacles. Transwomen achieved optimal and

satisfied life after they are capable to admit their life conditions and acquire social

encouragement from their social environment.

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Introduction

Gender identity deviations still happen in the society even though gender roles have

been determined by social culture. Consequently, transgenders exist as they internalize their

desired gender identity and want to live in chosen gender that is mismatch with their

biological sex. A person who has gender identity disorder has felt indications of the problem

since childhood, where he feels and believes that he was not the sex that he born with, and

that feeling continues until his adulthood (Abidin & Djabbar, 2019). The decision to be a

transwoman is a long and tough process especially in conservative community.

Transwomen realizes there are many issues they are going to face such as identity

confusion, rejection from society, discriminative community attitude, hostility, sexual and

physical abuse which will make their life more difficult in expressing themselves (Putri &

Suharmanto, 2009). National Commission on Human Rights noted that there are 1000 abuse

cases transwomen face every year in Indonesia such as murder, rape, and disruption in

organization activities (Karinina, 2007). According to Transwomen Coordinator in Aceh,

same thing happens to transwomen in Aceh (Nainggolan, 2010).

Diener (in Putri & Sutarmanto, 2009) said that life satisfaction is an individual’s

ability to enjoy life experiences and routines by assessing cognitively on how satisfied things

they have done in their main area of life such as interpersonal relationship, health,

occupation, spirituality, and leisure activities. According to Neugarten (in Purnama, 2009),

positive life satisfaction could be reflected in few aspects: (a) feel happy with daily activities;

(b) assume oneself meaningful and accepting her life condition sincerely; (c) find oneself

succeed in achieving purpose of life; (d) have positive attitude and mood. All individual’s

activities that could bring to life satisfaction are shown with positive self-concept and

congruity between dreams from past and present life conditions. This shows the spirit of
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 4

positive life that is an individual’s measure of happiness and if it’s not achieved yet, there’s

an emptiness and blank feeling one will feel (Purnama, 2009).

The purpose of this study is to see the depiction on how social issues affect

transwomen and how they reach their life satisfaction despite all the struggles and obstacles

they faced in the middle of social discriminative and identity confusion they faced.

Researcher could gain more in-depth understanding on how transwomen evaluate their life

cognitively and affectively, in the present as well as in the past. Furthermore, few researches

have been done to explore the transwomen’s life satisfaction, so it is appropriate for

researcher to apply this explorative approach to gain knowledge about transwomen’s

perception as it allowed the participants to express their exclusive experiences, thoughts, and

feelings. This research also helps the readers to be more empathic, know how to deal with

transwomen more appropriately and create safe environment for transwomen in the future.

Method

Participants

For this research, four participants aged 24-36 years were involved and all of them

self-reported being satisfied with their lives. As they have been transwomen for more than

four years, they have gained much experiences about their gender and social issues they have

encountered, how they faced the situation and journey on how they able to have a life

satisfaction despite of struggles they faced in Banda Aceh. All participants were residents of

Banda Aceh. Researcher used snowball sampling method as it is extremely difficult and quire

rare to find a transwoman in Indonesia especially in a particular city.

Materials
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Structured and virtual interviews were used in this study. Ten open-ended questions

were used to asked the participants and the interview lasted around 20 minutes. Researcher

also provided informed consent to each participant before proceeding to interview session.

Since it was virtual interviews, the only materials required are smartphones and stable Wi-Fi

connection.

Procedures

The interview was conducted via telephone and each interview was recorded and

transcribed. Researcher did the virtual interviews on a quiet place and stable Wi-Fi

connection, so the participants felt comfortable to talk as there are no external disruptions that

interrupts the conversation. Before interviewing the participants, researcher read the consent

form and explain the research’s aim, how the researcher protects participants’ confidentiality

and what will researcher do to the data once the report writing is done. Participants could

clarify their doubts and concerns with the researcher to avoid misunderstandings. Each

participant was assigned with numbers instead of their names. Researcher use coding method

to analyse the data by categorizing data into theme and core concept of study. Researcher

elaborate and interpret these themes and combine findings.

Results

Four participants have different story of how they become a transwoman.

Participant01 recognized her changes when she is in junior high; participant02 became more

feminine once she is surrounded by her transwomen friends and got influenced by her

friends’ behaviour such as wear women clothes and do plastic surgery to her body.

Participant03 became a transwoman because of her sisters and society that is dominant by

women, meanwhile participant04 became a transwoman because his father wanted to have a

daughter and participant04 is forced to fulfil her father’s wish and became comfortable to be
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 6

a woman. Participants reported that they have been sexually abused and these experiences

reinforced their intention to be a transwoman.

Participants generally work in a salon or involve in prostitution activities.

Participant01 and participant02 work in salon and be a singer in wedding events:

participant03 focus more on working in the salon; and participant04 works as a salon

employee and prostitute. Four participants feel satisfied with the job they have, although they

are also overwhelmed with disappointment as society reject their existence. Karinina (2017)

said that types of work transwomen prefer in general is field of work that could accommodate

women’s psychiatric problems in transwomen. Four participants also reported that they are

satisfied as they feel free to express themselves and feel safe when they’re surrounded by

their supportive and non-judgemental transwomen friends and their partner.

Only participant01 that is more accepting her current condition and feel satisfied and

happy with her overall life. Meanwhile, participant02, participant03, and participant04

haven’t fully accepted their condition yet which is marked by the desire to be a man again,

fear for own future, disappointed with society because of insults, feeling of being sexually

abused, feeling unworthy and useless, and the experience of living as a transwoman is

consider tough. This reality showed that participants are not satisfied with their life.

Participant03 and participant04 also stated their regrets after becoming a transwoman,

meanwhile participant01 and participant02 were adamant with their current condition.

Religion comprehension is only acknowledged by participant01, participant03, and

participant04. Understanding of religion make participants feel they have made a great sin

and feel guilty because of their choice to be a transwoman and have done same-sex sexual

activities. Coping is a way for someone to control the pressure one’s experienced (Purnama,

2009). Participant01, participant03, and participant04 apply religious coping by worshipping

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to God and have the desire to repent. Although this coping could not solve their problem, but

could reduce their stress and act as a way to find peace in life to enhance life satisfaction. In

contrast with participant02 who has low religious values, doesn’t consider the negative

effects of what she has done.

Discussion

The tendency of femininity in transwomen is formed from an early age which can be

seen from their interests towards women’s activities. Basically, they wanted to be perceived

by society as the gender one believes in, therefore they tried to change their physical

condition by wearing female attribute. Social acceptance becomes a necessity for all

participants, although until now their existences still haven’t been accepted in the community.

Four participants feel accepted once they are in transwomen communities, where the

members could give and receives support from one another and understand each other’s

condition. That’s when the participants feel they are not burdened with negative stigma from

society. Transwomen’s attitude and behaviour is considered deviated by society, make them

form a social environment with others who shared the same experiences and situation

(Karinina, 2007).

The pressures of society rejection, personal and interpersonal relation conflict made

participants need other’s help and support to feel loved (Karademas, 2006). Participants have

been abused physically and psychologically, felt solidarity from their friends who

experienced the similar situation make participant felt secure and gave support to each other.

Social support is not only from fellow transwomen but is from participants’ partner as well.

This interaction could increase participants’ well-being, spirit, self-acceptance. The decision

to have a partner is a form of emotional needs where an individual receives empathy, love
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and trust from others; empathy is manifested when the partner could feel the emotions

experienced by transwomen.

When transwomen consider themselves meaningful and accept their condition

sincerely, they will maintain their life as a transwoman. According to Seligman (in

Naingolan, 2010), positive emotion is related with a period of calm and spirit when an

individual could have hope, trust, self-acceptance, and optimistic for the future. Self-

acceptance in participants is the starting point of life’s journey; started with acceptance of

physical condition of man but is dominated with woman’s soul. Along with self-acceptance,

participants could accept any consequences, conflicts, pressures as a transwoman.

Consequences such as can’t bear a child, can’t get married, and have to face with society’s

mistreatments and negative stigmas because transwomen are considered abnormal

(Setyowati, Wijaningsih, & Sismarwono, 2005).

Human has the ability to understand their gender identity and roles (Karinina, 2007).

Although four participants’ ambition to transform into a female figure have been achieved,

but participant03 and participant04 have desires to revert to be a man again and build a

family. The apprehension of sex role is shown by participant03 and participant04 where they

have the mindset to change. This realization is a result of understanding of behaviour that is

suitable with their gender, where socially if one gender behaves uncommonly then a person

will be criticized and get rejected from society. They also have the desire to go back as men

because being a transwoman in Aceh is tough for them to deal with society rejection and

adapt in their environment. This could cause anxiety as they could not function society daily

lives. Transwomen are feeling high moral anxiety as individual that feels guilty, shame and

fear of punishment because they fail to behave according to moral demands which is fail to

behave according to gender rules (in Mahmud & Amat, 2008).

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Limitations

Research was aimed to find out the life satisfaction transwomen feel in Banda Aceh,

however the participants who participate in this research mostly shared the same experiences

especially their current jobs, struggles they faced as transwomen, and their coping strategies

and goals to improve their life better. More subjects from various background should have

been involved to get a better overall picture to understand transwomen’s life satisfaction

more fully so the data could be representative enough, since the researcher only use small

sample to research with. Secondly, it is the researcher’s first time to do the research in short

amount of time is given so the result may not be perfect and the researcher hope this topic

could be investigated further in the future. Lastly, researcher didn’t expand the aspect of

health and wellness of transwomen’s life satisfaction.

Implications on Future Research

This study could be extended in search of statistical and in greater amount of sample,

rather than analytical and small sample as the researcher have done here. This study provides

opportunities to improve and verify the topic from this analysis to be investigated further in

broader area, not just Banda Aceh but in areas that are still not accepting transwomen openly.

Researchers in the future could investigate on what have the government done to improve the

life of transwomen better since in this study, participants still haven’t had a safe environment

which is one of the most basic human rights they should receive.
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References

Abidin, K., & Djabbar, Y. (2019). A Symbolic Interaction Analysis of Waria (Transgender

Women) in Makassar – Eastern Indonesia. Society, 7(2), 195-212.

Karademas, E. C. (2006). Self-efficacy, social support and well-being: The mediating role of

optimism. Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, 40(6), 1281-1290.

Karinina, N. (2007). Penyimpangan Identitas dan Peran Gender Pendekatan Penelitian

Masalah Kesejahteraan Sosial Waria [Gender Identity and Roles Deviation, Research

Approach of Transwomen’s Social Welfare]. Journal Informasi, 12(1), 44-53.

Lyyra, T. M., & Heikkinen, R. L. (2006). Perceived Social Support in Mortality in Older

People. The Journals of Gerontology Social Science, Series B, Psychological and

Social Science, 61(3), 147-154.

Mahmud, Z., & Amat, S. (2009). Three Decades of Progress. Journal Subjective Well Being,

55(1), 34-55.

Nainggolan, T. (2010). Gambaran Kebahagiaan pada Waria [Depiction of Happiness in

Transwomen]. Jurnal Penelitian dan Pengembangan Kesejahteraan Sosial, 15, 72-84.

Setyowati, R., Wijaningsih, D., & Sismarwono, E. (2005). Perubahan Status Kelamin

terhadap Penderita Transgender [Changes of Sex Status in Transgender]. Jurnal

Pendidikan, 1(1), 78-79.

Purnama, A. (2009). Kepuasan Hidup dan Dukungan [Life Satisfaction and Support].

Yogyakarta: Pustaka RI, Data Katalog dalam Terbitan (KDT) B2P3KS Press.

Putri, T. M., & Sutarmanto, H. (2009). Kesejahteraan Subjektif Waria Pekerja Seks

Komersial [Subjective Welfare of Transwomen Prostitute]. Jurnal Psikohumanika,

2(2), 46-55.
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Appendix A

Informed Consent

TITLE OF STUDY

A Qualitative Study of Transwomen’s Life Satisfaction in Banda Aceh

PURPOSE OF STUDY

You are invited to participate in a qualitative research study being conducted by Putri

Setiawati Halim. Before you decide to take part in this study, it is important that you

understand why the research is being done and what it will involve. Please read the following

information carefully. Please ask the researcher if there is anything that is not clear or if you

need more information.

The purpose of this study is to find out ‘how transwomen could achieve their life satisfaction

despite obstacles and social issues they faced in Banda Aceh’.

STUDY PROCEDURES

This research will be using structured and virtual interviews via phone call. Participants are

asked to answer ten questions that researcher has provided regarding of experiences of being

a transwoman and how one perceives themselves, obstacles transwomen faced, coping

strategies to deal with impacts of obstacles, and life satisfaction transwomen have despite

obstacles they faced. The interview will last for at least 20 minutes or so. Audio recording

will be used to aid the efficiency and clarity of this research so your actual words will be used

in the context but will be remained confidential.

RISKS

This can be quite personal and may affect unresolved issues at life currently or previously.

And the question may be quite sensitive thus, triggering emotional turmoil as there is a
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possibility that you may re-experience some of emotions associated with discovering or

expressing your trans-identity. If at any point you do not feel like responding to that question,

you may ask to skip it. There is also the risk of being identified – however we will number

the participants and hope you will choose a private location to speak with us via phone call.

You may decline to answer any or all questions and you may terminate your involvement at

any time if you choose. You can ask for clarity if you have any doubts or queries.

BENEFITS

While this study may have no direct benefit to you, this research will help the researcher to

learn and understand more about the experiences of transwomen in Banda Aceh, how

transwomen cope with their obstacles and how transwomen achieve life satisfaction despite

obstacles they faced.

CONFIDENTIALITY

Your name will not be on any of the documents. Researcher will number the participants to

protect your identity. Please be sure to select a private location to speak with the researcher

via phone call. The recording of interviews will be destroyed once the researcher has done

writing the paper which is on 17th June 2020 and only the researcher will have access to this

information. Researcher will not be sharing information about you to anyone else and will be

kept private.

CONSENT

Once the participants understand the procedures and purpose of this study, researcher ask

their agreement of giving their consent into this study voluntarily via verbal confirmation.
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Participant01 has listened to informed consent, verbally agreed to participate in this study by

giving her consent to being interviewed and allowed researcher to use her information on 1st

June 2020 at 7.00pm.

Participant02 has listened to informed consent, verbally gave permission for researcher using

her data and agreed to do the interview session on 2nd June 2020 at 6.30pm.

Participant03 has listened to informed consent and verbally agreed to participate in this study

by giving her consent to being interviewed and allowed researcher to use her information on

4th June 2020 at 7.00pm.

Participant03 has listened to informed consent, verbally allowed researcher to use her

information and agreed to participate in interview session on 5th June 2020 at 5.30pm.
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Appendix B

Interview Question List

1. What are your current jobs and daily activities that make you happy while being a
transwoman?

2. What is your background story in transitioning to become a transwoman? Like when did
you start to realize that you wanted to be a transwoman

3. What are your feelings and thoughts after transitioned into a transwoman?

4. How satisfied are you with your achievements as a transwoman right now?

5. What are the goals that you need to achieve more or things to improve to feel more
satisfied and happier in personal growth or relationship and occupation context?

6. What are your coping strategies when you are faced with personal problem and social
issues?

7. Who is your social support or what is your source of life spirit and life satisfaction?

8. What are your ways to maintain positive self-image in order to achieve life satisfaction?

9. What are your family responses about you being a transwoman and how is your
relationship with your family members?

10. How does being a transwoman affect your religiosity?

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Appendix C

Transcripts

Participant 01

Participant01 is a 34 years old transwoman that has been a transwoman for 13 years.

Interviewer: Good evening Participant01 thank you for taking part in this interview. Before
we begin, I would like to read you the informed consent and ask for your confirmation of
your understanding of my procedure. Please do not hesitate to ask question if you have any
doubts or queries about this interview session or this research. This research is supposed to be
purposeful and not to make you feel uncomfortable. Rest assure your identity will remain
anonymous and the audio will be used in this session will be securely kept. (Interviewer read
the informed consent). Do you agree to give your consent and participation into this research
voluntarily and understand the procedure?

Participant01: I have listened and agree to give my consent to be interviewed and do not have
any questions.

Interviewer: Great! Thank You. So before we start I have a list of 10 questions that I hope
you could answer as honestly as possible. Okay?

Participant01: Sure, I will try my best.

Interviewer: Okay then. Fist question, what are your current jobs and daily activities that
make you happy while being a transwoman?

Participant01: I have worked in a salon for years and I’ve always been happy since I worked
there because I have so many transwomen friends there and I never have social support or
group friends like them before. That kind of energies and interaction with my friends
motivates me and energize me to work in the salon and makes me enjoy my job more.
Sometimes I also work as a wedding singer if I got a call from the wedding agencies.

Interviewer: I hope you keep continue doing what you love and what makes you happier.
Could you tell me what is your background story in transitioning to become a transwoman?
Like when did you start to realize that you wanted to be a transwoman?

Participant01: I realized I was different when I was in junior high school. I feel like there’s
something wrong with me. Why do I have no sexual interest with a woman, instead I’m
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 16

attracted to a man. I became more interested in girl stuffs but didn’t dare to wear them
because I’m afraid that I will be mocked by my surroundings. I also confused at the time
because what I feel is not normal according to society and religious law but in adulthood, I
also gained freedom when I surrounded myself with transwomen community that’s when I
started develop the desire to wear girl costume and do plastic surgery to change my body
parts into woman’s. I know what I did was wrong according to my religious rules but I do it
anyway.

Interviewer: What are your feelings and thoughts after transitioned into a transwoman?

Participant01: Sometimes I feel sad that I can’t achieve some of my goals because of my
physical and soul that is considered different according to society. Sometimes I envy to
normal people because they are not experiencing what I have gone through, what issues that
we as minority and transwomen encountered. Most of days we as transwomen are faced with
prejudices and discriminative attitude from other, that’s why I kept envy towards normal
people. But even though being a transwoman is tough, I accept my condition as who I am
right now and try to be more positive when make decisions. I do feel meaningful as a
transwoman since I am surrounded by other transwomen that are supportive to me.

Interviewer: How satisfied are you with your achievements as a transwoman right now?

Participant01: I felt relieve that I could express myself openly and there’s a feeling of
empowerment when I get out of my comfort zone. I just feel satisfied already when I came
out as a transwoman, the life condition I live and the jobs I have right now.

Interviewer: What are the goals that you need to achieve more or things to improve to feel
more satisfied and happier in personal growth or relationship and occupation context?

Participant01: Hmmm… My wish is that I could focus and go back to my religious routine
and worship since I sort of abandon my worship towards God because of my schedule. I feel
sense of freedom and peaceful which is something that I miss the most if I did my prayer. I
also wish I could go mecca to perform umrah. Wait, I also hope I could be more optimistic in
the future.

Interviewer: What are your coping strategies when you are faced with personal problem and
social issues?
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Participant01: I just try to be more patient and withstand in life, try to be more positive
thinking when solving the problem. I try to be more acceptable towards normal people even
though I always envy them. Like I wish I was in their position but I know I’m meant to be a
transwoman. I also try to get closer to God and do more prayer to relieve my stress.

Interviewer: Who is your social support or what is your source of life spirit and life
satisfaction?

Participant01: Of course my transwomen community, my friends who work at the salon I

work at, it feels like they are my second family because I receive love, support, acceptance,
anything a transwoman could ask for. I would never imagine what my life could be right now
if it wasn’t because of them, maybe my life could be worse. I also have a partner that live
together with me who make me happier and more grateful of my life.

Interviewer: What are your ways to maintain positive self-image in order to achieve life
satisfaction?

Participant01: I always try my best to treat others right, be respectful to my fellow

transwomen as well. I try to be more helpful to the ones that need. It’s hard to be nice to
people especially when some people mock or discriminate me and even verbal abuse me, it
feels like unfair but I try to be more enthusiastic to become a better and forgiving person. I
made a lot of mistakes so I try to not to regret of decision I have made but to take lesson or
reflecting the effects from my mistakes which helps me in my personal growth.

Interviewer: What are your family responses about you being a transwoman and how is your
relationship with your family members?

Participant01: Not all of them could accept me as a transwoman. For me it’s quite impossible
for a transwoman expecting her family to be supportive for her especially we live in a
conservative country, where what matter the most to others is how well do we behave in a
society and once you did something different or unacceptable you will get prejudices attitude.
I also didn’t expect that my mom could accept me as I am, maybe its very hard for her to do
so but maybe because of her love for me, we still remain in touch and she’s trying to be
supportive of my choice to come out as a transwoman. My siblings are also very open to me
and let me tell my life problems to them as they are very good listener and always give me
great advices that could make my life better than before.
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 18

Interviewer: I know that you have told me a bit about your wish to be more religious in your
life but can you tell me about how does being a transwoman affect your religiosity?

Participant01: I feel that me being a transwoman and have same-sex relationship is kind of a
major sin that I made so far. But I don’t feel like I regret of this choice I made because being
a transwoman made me happier and more satisfied in life. I also accept that this is my life is
supposed to be. But sometimes I do feel guilty towards God and want to seek forgiveness
from God. I try to cope with the guilty by becoming more discipline to do prayer and fasting.

Interview: I hope that one day you will be able to go to Mecca for umrah. That’s is all for
today and thank you for participating and answering all my interview question and I wish you
all the best for your future.

Participant01: Yes, no problem, I’m enjoying the interview session since I always wanted to
be interviewed but never get a chance. Thank you for the wishes.
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 19

Participant 02

Participant02 is a 24 years old transwoman that has been a transwoman for 8 years.

Interviewer: Good evening Participant02 thank you for taking part in this interview. Before
we begin, I would like to read you the informed consent and ask if you understand the
procedure. Please do not hesitate to ask question if you have any doubts or queries about this
interview session or this research. This research is supposed to be purposeful and not to make
you feel uncomfortable. Rest assure your identity will remain anonymous and the audio will
be used in this session will be securely kept. (Interviewer read the informed consent). Are
you willing to give your consent and participation into this research voluntarily and
understand the procedure?

Participant02: Yes, I’m willing to give my consent to be interviewed and do not have any
questions.

Interviewer: Okay, thank you. So before we begin, I have a list of questions, 10 to be exact.
You can answer as honestly as possible. Okay?

Participant02: Yes, I don’t mind sharing openly about my life as long as it’s confidential.

Interviewer: Great! Rest assured and don’t worry about your confidentiality as I numbered
the participants in this research, I don’t use your initials or names. Okay then, first question,
what are your current jobs or daily activities that make you happy while being a transwoman?

Participant02: Mostly I do make-up and hairdressing for clients in a salon. I like to do any
activities that is girl-related like trying new make-up products or shopping women clothing. I
just want to do anything that makes me feel like a woman. For part-time I work as a sex
worker, not always but when I work as a sex worker, I feel more like a woman and
empowered as a transwoman. It made me feel like what I did to my body was a success. I
also like singing because of my soft voice which makes me very lucky and feel like I was
destined to be a woman, so sometimes I do wedding singer if I got a call. Yeah that’s all.

Interviewer: Wow you’ve must been very busy with your hectic works. Can you tell me what
is your background story in transitioning to become a transwoman? Like when did you start
to realize that you wanted to be a transwoman?

Participant02: I think I got influenced unconsciously by my transwomen friends when I was

in high school since I always spend time with them. Because of them, I also try to wear girly
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 20

clothing and behave in feminine attitude like the way I eat, sit, sleep, talk, everything I
accidentally follow my friends did. Because I always surrounded by them, I just feel being a
girl is normal and I should do it. The influence got bigger that there is one time I decided to
do plastic surgery on my boobs. Then suddenly I got addicted to change my physical
appearance to a 100% woman so I change my butt, chin, facial curve, and my nose.

Interviewer: What are your feelings and thoughts after transitioned into a transwoman?

Participant02: I’m glad with my physical appearance I’ve changed so far. Like I’m really
proud of myself and the courage I have to do the plastic surgery. But I got insulted and
discriminated for being who I am and got rejected by society because of my appearance and
my bravery to come out as a transwoman. They fear that I could bring bad influence to others
and think what I did was to defy religion rules. Sometimes I couldn’t handle the stress of
being a transwoman and fear about my future. The thing is that I’m proud of who I am right
now but at the same time I feel stress about my social environment.

Interviewer: How satisfied are you with your achievements as a transwoman right now?

Participant02: I think the transformation I have made so far is satisfying for me already, I’m
really glad with my appearance right now. But I feel there are many things I need to improve
as a person, not physically but more about my self-identity and gained more experience or
skills that could make me better than before I guess.

Interviewer: What are the goals that you need to achieve more or things to improve to feel
more satisfied and happier in personal growth or relationship and occupation context?

Participant02: Hmm… I think I need to look for other job instead working as a sex worker for
part-time. Like I love my job but I think it has no benefits for my personal growth. I’m
looking forward to try new things so maybe I could have various job or experience. I always
wanted to try make my own culinary business but never try because I think it’s very risky if
the business failed but maybe I should try. Thank you for letting me reflected on that. I think
I want to be someone who is succeeded at something. So that I could change the bad
stereotype of being a transwoman and others could see that we could do something good as
well.

Interviewer: What are your coping strategies when you are faced with personal problem and
social issues?
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 21

Participant02: Sometimes when I got frustrated and feels like nobody is listening to me, I
just letting out my emotion and my feelings through writing on facebook post. But I know I
don’t solve the problem if I just write and don’t do the action so I try to be more positive. If I
did something wrong, I realize it was my fault and there’s no turning back so I just learn the
lesson from my mistakes and if I could make things better then I do the action. But if I can’t
then I just try to not blame things on myself. Yeah I think I just do what I could do. About
others prejudices and bad treatment towards me I think I couldn’t control what people could
do to me as long as they didn’t hurt me physically then I just try to withstand the situation.

Interviewer: Who is your social support or what is your source of life spirit and life
satisfaction?

Participant02: I don’t have much friends to rely on but I only have few transwomen friends
that always be supportive of what choices I made. I also got myself a boyfriend, we’ve been
together for 2 years now and he always helps me whenever I got in trouble and he is like my
biggest supporter of my life. I’m very grateful for that.

Interviewer: What are your ways to maintain positive self-image in order to achieve life
satisfaction?

Participant02: As I said before, I think I need to be succeeded in something so others could

see that transwomen could also contribute to society as well. I also need to prove to my
family that I could make them proud of me. So I need to learn and experience new things. I
also try to be positive in everything I do and be grateful for my life.

Interviewer: What are your family responses about you being a transwoman and how is your
relationship with your family members?

Participant02: My family didn’t agree about me coming out as a transwoman. They think I
just bring my family’s name into shame. I got kicked out from my house, since then, I never
met my family. I think we’ve been separated for 5 years. My relationship with my dad and
my brothers is getting worse as they despise me the most.

Interviewer: How about your religious life? Does being a transwoman affect your religiosity?

Participant02: I’m not a religious person since I am not raised in a religious family. But I do
know that we should do good deed to others and God loves every human He created. So I
don’t think being a transwoman is something bad or sin but since we live in a conservative
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 22

country then it’s considered something wrong and immoral. I don’t feel being a transwoman
has bad effects for me, instead I gained more confidence and happier once I became a
transwoman. I don’t feel guilty to myself or to God as I think being a girl is not wrong and as
long as I don’t harm others, I think it’s fine to be a transwoman.

Interview: Okay we are done now. I hope you could achieve your goals and open a culinary
business. Thank you for participating and answering all my interview question and I wish you
all the best for your future.

Participant02: Thank you for putting interest into us, transgender, minority in your research
since I think most of my surroundings despise us and nobody care for us. Yeah you too I
hope the best for your research.

Interviewer: Thanks. Have a nice day.

Participant02: You too.

LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 23

Participant 03

Participant03 is a 27 years old transwoman that has been a transwoman for 4 years.

Interviewer: Good evening Participant03 thank you for your participation in this interview.
Before we start, I would like to read you the informed consent and ask if you understanding
the procedure. Please do not hesitate to ask question if you have any doubts or queries about
this interview session or this research. This research is supposed to be purposeful and not to
make you feel uncomfortable. Rest assure your identity will remain anonymous and the audio
will be used in this session will be securely kept. (Interviewer read the informed consent). Do
you agree to give your consent and participation into this research voluntarily and understand
the procedure?

Participant03: Yes, I understand already and agree to give my consent to being interviewed
by you.

Interviewer: Great! So before we begin, I have 10 questions to ask and you can answer as
honestly as possible. Okay?

Participant03: Sure

Interviewer: Okay then, first question, what are your current jobs or daily activities that make
you happy while being a transwoman?

Participant03: My friend who is a transwoman, has a salon and I work there as a hairdressing,
make-up, manicure, pedicure, any salon services I could do most of them. The salon is quite
busy because it’s quite famous in my town so I mostly spend my time work there and got no
more time to do part-time job. I really want to work on other field as well but with the hectic
situation in salon I need to postpone my plan and also because I’m really enjoying work there
with my fellow transwomen friends. We are all like a family and our bonding is very strong
that we decided to live in the salon.

Interviewer: Can you tell me what is your background story in transitioning to become a
transwoman? Like when did you start to realize that you wanted to be a transwoman?

Participant03: Hmm I always spend more time with my sister so maybe that’s where I got my
influence from. I’m always surrounded by environment that is dominant with women rather
than with men. In school I always hang out with my girl friends. In family gatherings, I
always joined with my women cousin more as I feel more comfortable with women. So when
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 24

my friends or relatives try to do girly stuff and I’m the only one who can’t do that girly stuff
then I feel left out. So I try make up and try girly dress in order to blend in with them. Maybe
I didn’t realize what I did in order to get together with them will influence me being a
transwoman right now. I mean like the environment I live back then form me as a
transwoman I guess, At that time, I still have no courage to came out as a transwoman but
after I work at my friend’s salon, I became more confident to wear girl accessories and
makeup and change my appearance into a 100% woman.

Interviewer: What are your feelings and thoughts after transitioned into a transwoman?

Participant03: I realized what I am right now is considered wrong. Sometimes I don’t feel
comfortable because I get sexually harassed by others. Also I feel disappointed to myself
because many people insult and humiliate me as I do realize that that’s the way society
express their rejection towards transwomen community. I feel it’s very difficult to live as a
transwoman in Indonesia. I do regret of my choice to come out as a transwoman. I wish I
could go back to be a normal man again. I also afraid of getting a contagious disease from my
sexual activities. Feels like I need to stop but I can’t because I also feel happier when I’m
surrounded with my transwomen community and my boyfriend. I’m afraid that I will lose
them if I go back into normal man again.

Interviewer: How satisfied are you with your achievements as a transwoman right now?

Participant03: I just feel very satisfied with my job, my friends, my boyfriend. I feel like if I
didn’t meet them, I don’t know how to handle the mistreatment I receive from others. They
teach me good lesson about life that really help me. I also feel satisfied and grateful that I
have transwomen friends that feels like they’re my family and I could live with them. I’m
glad I get a job that I enjoy since most people have more money but never got happy. But as
for myself I don’t feel really happy being a transwoman when I receive insults from others as
their mistreatments sort of like bring a warning that I live a wrong track of life and I should
go back as a man instead.

Interviewer: What are the goals that you need to achieve more or things to improve to feel
more satisfied and happier in personal growth or relationship and occupation context?

Participant03: I think I just wish to change myself into a better person, towards myself, my
friends, family and society. I feel hesitate about me being a transwoman, like whether I
should maintain my lifestyle or I should change into a man and restart my life again. But I
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 25

wish I have the courage to change my appearance to be a man but I’m at risk losing my
loving friends and boyfriend or probably I could lose my job as well. Let’s say if I’m able to
change to be a man, I will definitely want to start a family. I want to have my own children.

Interviewer: What are your coping strategies when you are faced with personal problem and
social issues?

Participant03: I just try to be more positive thinking when dealing with negative attitude or
prejudices from society. I know I can’t control how others will treat me, the only thing I
could control is myself so yeah I think I just try to calm and control myself. I know it’s not
as easy as it sounds but what choice do we have especially if we were minority.

Interviewer: Who is your social support or what is your source of life spirit and life
satisfaction?

Participant03: My transwomen friends in the salon and my boyfriend of course. They’re

matter the most to me right now.

Interviewer: What are your ways to maintain positive self-image in order to achieve life
satisfaction?

Participant03: I just maintain good relations with my fellow transwomen. I try to minimize
bad behaviour I have in order to being viewed positively by society.

Interviewer: What are your family responses about you being a transwoman and how is your
relationship with your family members?

Participant03: My parents still haven’t accepted me yet, I understand it must’ve been tough
for them but they still want to stay in touch with me. Some of my relatives have no idea that
I’m a transwoman but some of them kind of know that I’ve change my appearance into
woman’s.

Interviewer: How about your religious life? Does being a transwoman affect your religiosity?

Participant03: I came at one point that I wanted to repent because I realize what I did was
wrong and sometimes I do feel guilty about my sins. So I’m kind of in a process of changing
but I take it very slowly. I started to learn about my religion and commit myself to perform
salah every day. Because I really want to go back as a normal man but I don’t have
something that could motivate me to do so. I just hope with I improve my religiosity I could
have the determination to go back as a man and become a better person.
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 26

Interview: Okay that’s all for our interview session. I adore your effort when you’re trying to
be more positive in a discriminative community. I hope you could achieve what you’ve
always want to do. Thank you for participating and answering all my interview question and I
wish you all the best for your future.

Participant03: Thanks. Good luck with your research study. I’m happy I could share my story
I hope it helps.

Interviewer: Yeah you have helped me with your abundance of answers. Thanks. Have a
great day!

Participant03: Yeah you too.

LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 27

Participant 04

Participant04 is a 36 years old transwoman that has been a transwoman for 12 years.

Interviewer: Good evening Participant03 thank you for your participation in this interview.
Before we begin, I would like to read you the informed consent and ask if you understanding
the procedure. Please do not hesitate to ask question if you have any doubts or queries about
this interview session or this research. This research is supposed to be purposeful and not to
make you feel uncomfortable. Rest assure your identity will remain anonymous and the audio
will be used in this session will be securely kept. (Interviewer read the informed consent).
Are you willing to give your consent and participation into this research voluntarily and
understand the procedure?

Participant04: Yes, I’m willing to give my consent into this interview and I have no question
and understand the procedure.

Interviewer: Okay. So before we begin, I have a list of question, 10 to be exact and you can
answer as honestly as possible. Okay?

Participant04: No problem.

Interviewer: Okay then, first question, what are your current jobs or daily activities that make
you happy while being a transwoman?

Participant04: I work as a salon employee on morning till afternoon and I work as a sex
worker at night. In my free time, I like to try women’s clothes and shopping.

Interviewer: Can you tell me what is your background story in transitioning to become a
transwoman? Like when did you start to realize that you wanted to be a transwoman?

Participant04: My dad always wanted to have a daughter but all he got is sons, so he expected
me to behave like a girl in order to fulfil his wish. But as the time goes on, I got comfortable
with me acting and behave as a girl. My family suddenly asked me to behave like an ordinary
man but I don’t want to as I feel like I’m supposed to be a woman. So because of my
stubbornness, they kicked me out of the house. I ran away and somehow someway I find a
transwomen community and live my life with them, at the time I still have so many things to
learn to be a woman. During that time, I got sexually abused from my friends that I thought
were nice to me. I think that experience lead me into being a transwoman.

Interviewer: What are your feelings and thoughts after transitioned into a transwoman?
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 28

Participant04: I feel happier once I’m a transwoman. But I receive a lot of insults from
society so I just feel that life is more difficult once you are part of minority that society hate.
It’s really tough to be a transwoman in Banda Aceh. Even though I love being a transwoman,
but I realize I bring disappointment and shame to my family and make me realize that I’m
useless and worthless. I can’t make my parents proud and can’t be contributively to society.
I’m kind of worried of my future if I kept being a transwoman. Maybe it’s nice and fun to be
a transwoman for a short-time period but if it’s long-term I don’t think it’s suitable for me.

Interviewer: How satisfied are you with your achievements as a transwoman right now?

Participant04: I feel satisfied when I could express myself in feminine way, I really feel a
sense of myself once I wear or use girl products and clothes. I just feel more happier once I
became a transwoman. I’m grateful I’m surrounded by my friends and family that could
accept me as I am. I love my jobs; I just feel lucky that I could do something I like for daily
income. So I don’t feel very stressful. I also love having relationship with men.

Interviewer: What are the goals that you need to achieve more or things to improve to feel
more satisfied and happier in personal growth or relationship and occupation context?

Participant04: Even though I love being a transwoman, I just feel like I need to stop and be
something I am supposed to be, a man. I kind of regret of choosing this path of life because I
ruined my life and is not acceptable to the society. I’ve always dreamed of having a family,
have a wife and children. I don’t want my future wife and children ashamed of me. I feel like
I need to stop as soon as possible.

Interviewer: What are your coping strategies when you are faced with personal problem and
social issues?

Participant04: If it’s mistreatment I received, then I just try to ignore or if it’s really
disturbing then I just try to talk to the person politely to ask them to stop and clarify that I
didn’t do something wrong. I didn’t want to do in violence way even if I feel like I must do it
in violence way. I just try to be more decent person every single day. If it’s about my
personal issues, I just try to calm myself and try to not to panic and I just asked my friends
for advices.

Interviewer: Who is your social support or what is your source of life spirit and life
satisfaction?
LIFE SATISFACTION OF BANDA ACEH’S TRANSWOMEN 29

Participant04: My family, my lover, and some of my transwomen friends. Not all of

transwomen in the community are easy to be friends with. I do have several fights with them
mostly because they kind of envy with my appearance. Yeah, I only have few social supports
but I’m grateful I have them because it’s very hard to have one.

Interviewer: What are your ways to maintain positive self-image in order to achieve life
satisfaction?

Participant04: I think I just try to be more optimistic in the future. I think if I’m too
pessimistic then I can’t pursue my dream to be a man again. I mean like we can be optimistic
but in realistic way.

Interviewer: What are your family responses about you being a transwoman and how is your
relationship with your family members?

Participant04: My family, luckily, accepted me as who I am, especially my mother. Okay at

first, they find it very difficult to accept me but as the time flies, they started to ignore about
me being a transwoman. I still stay in touch with my family members until now.

Interviewer: How about your religious life? Does being a transwoman affect your religiosity?

Participant03: Yeah I feel guilty sometimes if I’m a transwoman. I try to be more religious
every day by do prayer and salah more. I do anything to get closer to God. I want to repent
and stop being a transwoman and go back to my supposed-to-be track of life. I feel like these
things I do help me quite a bit when I face daily stress and make me feel better.

Interview: Okay our interview is finished. Thank you for participating and answering all my
interview question and I wish you all the best for your future.

Participant02: Yeah. You too hope all the best for your life and research assignment. Have a
nice day.

Interviewer: Thanks. You too.