Shenzi: There was a motor close to where I am right now.

Kogane: A motor- a motorcycle?

Shenzi: Oh sorry, a murder.
Zuki: That escalated quickly.
--

Kogane: Shenzi, what do you have?

Shenzi: A KNIFE!

Kogane: Okay, have fu-

Zuki: NO!

--
Shenzi, about Zuki: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier.
Kogane: That's what any god probably thinks about me.
--
Kogane: Adults are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with.
Shenzi, referring to themself and Zuki: Even us?
Kogane: Especially you guys.
Zuki:
Shenzi:
Zuki: Petition to kick Kogane out so they stop insulting us.
Shenzi: Seconded.
--
Kogane: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited
Shenzi: If?
Zuki: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.
--
Kogane: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Zuki: Alright.
Kogane: TraitorSayWhat?
Shenzi: Excuse me?
Kogane: What?
Zuki:
Kogane:
Kogane: No wait-
--
Kogane: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life
Zuki: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Kogane: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, and beautiful in a way that the conventional
and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly
disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Shenzi: edible
--
Kogane: I know you snuck out last night, Zuki.
Shenzi: Play dumb!
Zuki: Who's Zuki?
Shenzi: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
--
Kogane: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Zuki: The cow???
Kogane: What?
Shenzi: Zuki, W H Y?
--
Kogane: Shenzi won’t come out of their room!
Zuki: Just tell them I said something.
Kogane: Like what?
Zuki: Anything factually incorrect.
Kogane, shrugging: If you say so.
Shenzi, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?
--
Zuki, walking into Shenzi and Kogane’s bedrooms in the middle of the night: I had a bad dream.
Shenzi: What was it about?
Kogane: No, don’t ask them that!
Shenzi: Why not?
Kogane: Cause they’ll answer!
--

Shenzi, excitedly: Heeyy!!

Zuki: Hey, someone's excited.

Kogane, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

--
Zuki: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.
Shenzi: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one
more to further disprove your theory.
Kogane: Fuck you.

--
Shenzi: Why would anyone want to harm Kogane?
Zuki: Maybe because they met them?
--
Kogane: I’m not a doctor I’m a medic. (Based from being the partial son of Karafuna)

Shenzi: What’s the difference then?

Kogane: Well doctors actually save lives, medics just make you feel more comfortable as you die.

Zuki: Note to self; never get shot.

--

Kogane: I like to think of myself as a semi-responsible adult here.

Shenzi: Zuki is 70% Shenzi of your impulse control and you know this Kogane.
Zuki: I feel Kogane is the more responsible one of us two though.
Kogane: We are both 70% Shenzi of each others' impulse control.
Zuki: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each
other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.
--

Shenzi: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Zuki: Damn, if people did that to each other, Kogane would've killed me years ago.

--

Kogane: So, what is Shenzi to you?

Zuki: The reason I wake up every morning.
Kogane: ...That’s… awkward..
Shenzi earlier that morning, barging into Zuki′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!
--
Zuki: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Blain: *raises hand*
Kogane: *puts their hand down*
--
Kogane: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Zuki: Okay, but in my defense, Shenzi bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Kogane: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
--
The squad is trying to con some random guy
Kogane: Um, Shenzi, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Shenzi: We need money!
Kogane: You're scamming him?
Shenzi: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Kogane: What?!No way!
Shenzi: Why not? We already stole Zuki!
Zuki: Hey guys
Kogane: No, we didn't. Zuki can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!
Zuki: I wanna steal
--

Kogane: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Shenzi: They do.
Zuki: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?
--
Kogane, to Shenzi: My life is in the hands of an idiot!
Shenzi, motioning to themself and Zuki: No no no no no, TWO idiots!
--
Kogane: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Shenzi: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Zuki: In that case, we're definitely lost.
--
Kogane: Well, has Zuki been wrong before?
Shenzi: How wide are we willing to open this up?
--
Kogane, negotiating with Shenzi
Shenzi: We have Zuki. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed
Zuki: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?
Kogane:
Zuki: MAKE IT ONE MILLION-
Kogane: Zuki STOP
--
Kogane: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Zuki: I feel like we've all done that at least once.
Shenzi: I ate it too-
Zuki: See?
Shenzi::-On purpose...
Kogane & Zuki: ...What?
--
Kogane: YOU CHEATED!
Shenzi: So did my dad, but hey, my mom knew it all and even sorted out their wedding, so what's the problem?
Zuki: I… can confirm that that actually happened.
Kogane: …What.
--

Kogane: Why does Shenzi always do the laundry so loudly?

Zuki: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.
Shenzi, in the distance: * slams the washing machine shut*

--
Kogane: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there's nothing there?
Shenzi: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
Kogane:
Kogane: *sobs*
Zuki: You fucking scared them, you idiot.
--
Kogane: Shenzi, I am questioning your sanity...
Zuki: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.
--
Kogane: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Shenzi: * turning to Zuki* How tall are you?
--
Kogane: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
Shenzi: We got springwater
Kogane: NO.
Zuki: with EXTRA minerals
Shenzi: it's like licking a stalagmite
Kogane: DON'T COME HOME.
Zuki: Mmmmm cave water
--
Kogane: Yo small dumbass, get over here.
Zuki: Okay
Shenzi: * gleefully runs past* I'm coming!
Zuki, sadly: I thought...I was small dumbass…
Kogane: No, your little shithead since both of you are shorter than me
--
Shenzi: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Zuki: Plane tickets?
Kogane: Concert tickets?
Huton: Prostitution?
Shenzi, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
--
*In a horror movie situation*
Shenzi: I've got no service in my phone here.
Huton: Shoot, my battery just died.
Kogane: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.
Zuki: Guys, my phone is a book.

--
Shenzi: Why are your tongues purple?
Kogane: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Iza: I had a red one.
Shenzi: oh
Shenzi:
Shenzi: OH
Zuki:
Zuki: You drank each other's slushies?
--
Shenzi: Everyone synchronize your watches.
Iza: I don't know how to do that.
Kogane: I don't wear a watch.
Zuki: Time is a construct.
--
Shenzi: Those darn tall old people.
Kogane: Darn em' indeed.
Mich: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Zuki: * sharpening knife* Yes.Dead.
Zuki: Hahaha.
Zuki: ...Is this self-destructive behavior?

--
Shenzi: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Zuki: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Shenzi: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Zuki: But I heard a siren.
Kogane: That was Mich.
Mich: Sorry, I got nervous.
--
Shenzi: Kogane, we're hungry!
Mani: Kogane! What's for dinner?
Zuki: We're hungry, Kogane!
Kogane, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: * screams *
--
Shenzi: Count me in!
Zuki: Who the hell are you?!
Shenzi: Oh, you know my sibling! They worked at Wendy's.
Zuki: Oh yeah, Kogane! How are they doing?
Shenzi: Oh yeah, not too good. They've been dead for the past month.
Mani: What the hell, they didn't tell us!
--
Shenzi: I'm gonna die alone.
Zuki: Shenzi, you're not gonna die alone.
Shenzi: Kogane, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake.
Nolan: Uh- huh. Why is that?
Shenzi: If I'm gonna be an old lonely person, I'm gonna need a thing, you know? A hook.Like that guy in the
subway who eats his own face.
Shenzi: So I figured I'll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man.
Shenzi: Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won't walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY
FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!
--
Shenzi, banging on the door: Zuki! Open up!
Zuki: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Kogane: No, they meant-
Nolan: Let them finish.
--

Kogane: I just ended a four-year relationship.

Zuki: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Kogane: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Shenzi and Cath fighting from across the room*
--
Kogane: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Zuki: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Shenzi: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Rachel: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
--
Kogane: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Zuki: Is it me, Kogane?

Kogane: No, it’s not you.

Shenzi: Is it me, Kogane?

Kogane: It’s not you either.

Rachel: Is it me, Kogane?

Kogane:

Kogane, mockingly: Is IT mE KoGaNe?

--
Kogane: Hah! 69! Do you know what that means?
Zuki: What?
Shenzi: That you're a child.
Zeke: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
--
Kogane: You're a loose cannon, Zuki.
Zuki: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Shenzi: I think you play by your own rules.
Zeke: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
Kogane: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Zuki: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Zeke is a loose cannon.
Zeke: *smashes a chair*
--

Kogane: Time-sensitive question: how to flirt with a boy.

Shenzi: Throw rocks at him.

Zuki: Hot Dogs.

Franci: Kill him.

Kogane: Thanks, guys.

--

Franci: That's ridiculous, Shenzi doesn't have a crush on me.

Kogane: Yes they do.

Zuki: Yes they do.

Shenzi: Yes I do.

--

Zuki: Why did you kidnap IZZAH!?!?!

Kogane: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh...

Shenzi: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal.

Zuki: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!

--

Kogane: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Zuki: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Kyson: FLOOR IT!!

Kogane: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Zuki: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

Kogane: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Shenzi: DO IT!

Zuki: NO-

--

Shenzi: I'm bored.

Zuki: Wanna commit first-degree murder?

Shenzi: Sure!

Kogane, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Koi down!!

--
Thay: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Zuki doesn't take me seriously enough.

Kogane: "Sometimes"?

Shenzi: "Enough"?

Thay:

Shenzi: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.

--

Thay: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Kogane: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Shenzi: A realist sees a freight train.

Zuki: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

--

Pro///: Zuki is taking credit for Kogane's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You
know what they sound like?

Shenzi: You?

Pro///: No, I meant... You know Kogane. In spite of being clever and sarcastic, they’re also... fragile and weird and
they have trouble fitting in. And Zuki is taking advantage of their weakness! Do you know what that’s called?

Shenzi: A Pro// move?

Pro///: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

--
Zuki: *is hugging Melli*

Kogane: Hey! It's my turn to hug Milli!

Kogane: *grabs Melli*

Shenzi: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!

Zuki: No, It's still my turn!

Melli): *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me
constantly!

Kogane: But we need the moral support!

Zuki: And you're small! Which is cute!

Shenzi: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.

Melli: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

--

Kaon: Where's Shenzi?

Zuki: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Zuki, shouting: Kogane sucks!

Shenzi, distantly: Kogane is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Zuki: Found them.

--

Shenzi: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.

Kaon: Fucking Zuki and Kogane were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce
of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

--
Shenzi: Ducks are better than rabbits.

Kogane: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.

Zuki: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.

Kogane: We’re not talking about flavour, Zuki!

Zuki: Flavour counts!

Kogane: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?

Shenzi: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck
feathers! Who’s cozier?

Kogane: Okay, but-

Shenzi: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?

Zuki: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, and a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!

Kogane: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, ZUKI!

Zuki: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, KOGANE!

Kia: I- Jesus-

--

Kia: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Kogane: *crouches down*

Shenzi: *kneels down*

Zuki: *sits on the floor*

Kia:

Kia: I hate all of you.

--
Shenzi, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Elzia: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Kogane, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Shenzi, spraying Elzia: You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Elzia): Dude, I forgot-

Shenzi: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the
cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Zuki: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

--

Zuki: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Shenzi: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Yason: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Shenzi: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I
didn't own any pots.

Kogane: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Shenzi: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

--

Shenzi -at Kogane-: What’s it like being tall?

Yason: Is it nice?

Zuki: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Kogane: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small
coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

--

Kogane: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Zuki: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Shenzi: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Jackson: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Mako: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

--

Kogane: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine...
uncooked...

Jackson: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Mako: In your pantry!

Kogane: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Jackson: Is your friend here?

Kogane, motioning to Zuki: Yeah.

Jackson, to Zuki: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(

Shenzi: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like-
fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Shenzi: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE
GARDEN AS KIDS?!

Shenzi: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN
THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Shenzi, to Jackson and Mako: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS

Jackson: YAAAAAAAAY!

Mako: THE PRESTIGE!

--
Kogane: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Zuki: Tubular AF!

Shenzi: Mood to the max!

Jackson, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Mako, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square

--

Kogane: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to
help them complete their joke.

Zuki: Okay, but what is updog?

Shenzi: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Lukas: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Peno: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Novel: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Kogane: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Lukas: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Shenzi: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Zuki: What’s a henway??

Kogane: Oh, about five pounds.

--
Kogane: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Zuki: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Kogane: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money
to buy a cannon to fire at you
Shenzi: Actually I did the math, Zuki would have $225, not $0.15.
Zuki: Fam I’m right here....
Lukas: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Kogane: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Lukas: Sorry I only have a dollar
Kogane: :(
Shenzi: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Zuki would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a
cent
Lukas: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Shenzi: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Peno: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Shenzi: Apply juice to what
Novel: Directly to the forehead
Zuki: Great chat everyone
--

Kogane: I CAN'T DO IT!

Zuki, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Kogane: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Shenzi: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT.
BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT
US.
Kogane:
Kogane: I appreciate it,
Kogane: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Clayton: Kogane-
Kogane: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Henne: Kogane we gotta-
Kogane: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Kogane: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Kogane, motioning to Drako: NOT FUCKING THIS
--
Lucas: I'm the smartest person in my friend group.
Mary: You hang out with Amelia, Logyan, Xavier, and Kogane.
Mary: It's not as high a compliment as you think.
--
Lucas: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that?
Xavier: Uh, like what?
Lucas: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs.
Lucas: Uh, this is what I look like.
Lucas:
Xavier: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!
Lucas: Okay, then I want big beefy arms.Hot ones.
Mary: I wanna have a cowboy hat!
Xavier: Okay, arms and hat. * draws them*
Logyan: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too!
Xavier: You can't just take Mary's hat idea, Logyan! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up
with your own thing!
Logyan: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL!
Kogane: Put Logyan on one of those stupid baby tricycles.
Logyan: NO!!
Xavier: Tricycle, done. * draws it* Amelia, want anything?
Kogane, making finger guns: Pew pew.
Xavier: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Amelia.
Amelia, making finger guns: Pew pew.
Xavier: You know what, okay. * draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.
--
Lucas: Mary, let's go!
Mary: Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter.
Lucas: Okay, you know what? That's it, you had your chance.
Mary: What-?
Lucas: Mom, Dad, Mary smoked pot in college.
Mary: You are such a tattletale!
Mary: Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was
Logyan who was smoking the pot but... It was me. I'm sorry.
Lucas: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboy's, Mary did.
Mary: Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing Lucas did.
Lucas: Mary hasn't worked for a year!
Mary: Lucas and Logyan are living together!
Lucas: Mary married Xavier in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN!
Amelia: I love Jacques Cousteau!
Xavier:: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Kogane:: I wanna gooo!!

--
Lucas: We have a problem.
Xavier: Let me guess, you caused it?
Kogane: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.
Amelia: And it's another Tuesday, your point?
Mary: Would shooting you solve this problem ? No ? Then shut up.
Logyan: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.
--
Lucas: Just be yourself.
Mary: Really ? Lucas, I have one day to win over Logyan's parents.
Mary: How long did it take for you guys to like me?
Kogane: Couple of weeks.
Amelia: Six months.
Xavier: Jury's still out.
Mary: See Lucas? 'Just be yourself,' what kind of garbage advice is that?!
--
Lucas: You know, when Kogane comes over, Logyan can get a little…
Mary: Psycho?
Xavier: Scary?
Amelia: Drunk?
Lucas: All three.
--
'Can I copy the homework?'
Hale: I can help you with it!
Zuki: Yeah, sure.
Mano: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Cath: lol nope.
Shenzi: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Casey: * Read 5: 55pm *
--
Hale: Christmas lights?
Zuki: Check.
Casey: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Zuki: Check.
Mano: Santa suits?
Zuki: Check.
Shenzi: Shovel?
Zuki: Check.
Cath: Alibi and bail money?
Zuki: Check - wait, WHAT?!
--
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Hale: I will not let you down.
Casey: Sounds fun.
Cath: K.
Shenzi: No, I'm fucking not.
Mano: Do I have to be?
Zuki: Please god, I am so tired.
--
*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away*
Zuki: So how do you know the host?
Hale: They were a former vegan, and they bought milk.
Cath: That BITCH!
Casey: I pulled them over for money laundering.
Shenzi: I'm chaperoning their dinner party.
Mano: They stole a baconator!
Cath: That BITCH!
Zuki: I tanked the store they were managing and they convinced me to quit from one of the only jobs I've ever had.
Now I'm living off of unemployment checks and fear!
--

--
Kogane Qoutes:
Kogane: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

Kogane: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling
and overwhelming anxiety, so…

Kogane: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me
any time of the day.

Kogane: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u
were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Shenzi qoutes:
Shenzi: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
Shenzi: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you
are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

Shenzi: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Shenzi: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT, BLAME
MY FATHER.

Shenzi: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Zuki quotes:
Zuki: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Zuki: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Zuki: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Zuki: *punches wall*
Zuki:
Zuki: Take me to the hospital.

Zuki: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

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