3 bodies enter the stage making formless movements and trying to figure out their next step.

One body does something with conviction and the other 2 start following suit. The process
repeats but with that one body performing more difficult movements. The 3rd body can’t
keep up with the other 2 and wants to get out of the structure. The other 2 bodies resist.

Abstract movements transition into wordly movements and the 3 bodies start looking like
defined characters.

Watchman no. 13 falls asleep sitting in his chair.

Customer enters on stage, a stout man with a pot belly and a funny walk enters the ATM
humming, takes a small comb out of his back pocket and starts combing his hair, still
humming. Humming converts into singing and he shuffles his pocket for an ATM card,
meanwhile. Customer unknown of his presence. Customer finds his card but drops it in front
of Watchman no.13 and as he goes to pick it up the customer shrieks looking at him

Watchman no. 13: Salam Sahab! (out of shock)

Customer: Haan salam salam, guard Sahab...woh main aapko dekh ke nahi dara tha, meri
thodi kamar lachak gayi thi jhukte waqt bas.

Watchman no. 13 : Aap darne wale aadmiyon mein se lagte bhi nahi. (smirks)

Customer: Aur nahi toh kya, main toh army mein bharti hote-hote reh gaya tha ji. Vo toh
thoda kad-kaathi ka chakkar pad gya varna toh vo mujhe lene ke liye taiyaar the.

Watchman no.13: Ji.

Customer: Naam toh bataiye apna.

Watchman no. 13: Ji Mahender Shukla.

Customer: Mahender Shukla...naam toh bade afsaron wala hai..hain ji? Paiso ki tangi thi ya
nalayak paida huye the?

Watchman no. 13: Paisa nahi tha par padhe hum khoob hai Sahab.

Customer: Acha acha..toh buddhi mein maat kha gaye hain?

(Watchman flusters and doesn’t say anything)

Customer: Are mazak kar rahe hain aise dil pe mat lijiye...acha yeh bataiye Mishra ji, yeh
saath wala bank kis din band rehta hai kuch maloom hai?

Watchman no. 13: Shukla!

Customer: Aji Shukla..Mishra ek hi baat hai.

Watchman no. 13: E..ek baat kaise hai?

Customer: Aap bhadkiye mat hume acha nahi lagega..aap bas ATM ke watchman hain ya
saath wale bank ke bhi?

Watchman no. 13: Khaali ATM ka.

Customer: Bataiye apne baare mein aur. (yawns)

Watchman no.13: Aap sunna chahte hai? (glares but is hopeful)

Customer: Varna poochte kyu?

Watchman no.13: Ji hum toh watchman hi rahe hain pichle 20 saalo se, par hum padhe-
likhe khoob hain..college ki aadhi degree / hai

Customer: Aaj toh khoob jaada pad gaya.

Watchman no.13: Stares at him.

Customer: Sorry sorry.. aap keh rahe the?

Watchman no.13: Haan toh college ki aadhi degree karli thi humne..engineering mein..par /
usme

(Phone rings)

(Customer picks it up)

Customer: Haanji?..aap boliye-boliye..hum ek kaan se sun rahe hain.

Watchman no.13: (flusters) Ek baat doosri tak pahunchi aur hum watchman ban gaye, usse
pehle 2-3 aur naukariyan kari humne par man isi naukari mein laga.

Customer: Meri priye baat toh suniye humari. Watchman no.13: Ji..ji boliye.

Customer: Tumko nahi keh rahe..han-han hum le ayenge, chinta kyu karti ho itni...ek baat
batao..aji aapse keh rahe hain.

Watchman no.13: Ji

Customer: Kaan khule rakhiye apne baar-baar thodi bulate rahenge..tumse nahi keh
rahe..yeh Mishra ji se baat kar rahe the..watchman-watchman..ruko do min..haan watchman
Sahab yeh bank ka chhuti wala din nahi bataya aapne?

Watchman no.13: Har doosre shaniwar aur har ravivar. (glaring and flustered)

Customer: Haanji sunti ho? Kal jaane ka koi fayda nahi band rahega bank...tumko kis baat
ka credit card chahiye?..haan toh tumko hi padi thi apni Amma se milne ki...ptch usse
chhodo credit card se paisa nahi udhari aati hai..are ruko tum. Hum ghar aa rahe hain
abhi..haan-haan pahunch jayenge aadhe ghante tak..tab tak koi form-vorm mat bharna bata
rahe hain tumko hum.

(Customer leaves, watchman angrily writes in his notepad. He is flustered and pauses.)
Watchman no. 13: Besharam aadmi, need bigaad di humari. Ab ayega toh bataenge He
sleeps again

(Number 13 sleeps instantly after he sits down and 2 hands come from behind him)

Watchman no. 13: Humara naam hai mahender shukla.

An awkward silence. The hands clap.

Watchman no. 13: Hum Dena bank ke dilli pitampura branch ke watchman hai. Padhe likhe
hai hum par naukari yehi bhayi hume.Koi yeh na samjhe ki hume koi sharamindagi hai apne
haalato ko lekar. Humne apni zindagi apne usoolo par ji hai

The hands clap again. Whistle blows.

Watchman no. 13: Thank you thank you

Reporter 1: Aapko kaisa laga jab aaj aapko itna bada award mila?

Watchman: Dekhiye award mayine nahi rakhta humare liye. Par han hume yeh sochkar
thodi khushi hui ki ab aap sabke paas ek udaahran hoga apni life jeene ke liye. Yeh award
vagehra sab bekaar ki baatein hai. Ekdum bekaar.

Reporter 2: bohot khoob kaha aapne

Watchman no. 13: ji (smiles boastfully)

Reporter 2: Darshak aapki trophy dekhne ke liye bohut uttejit hain

Hands clap again. Whistles blow

Watchman no. 13: Vo toh humne bech di

Hands stop mid- clap. Whistles die down.

Reporter 1: Kya aap batana chahenge ki yeh karne ke peeche ka kya kaaran tha?

Watchman no. 13: ji sach kahe/ toh

Reporter 2: Kya yeh aapne logo ko kuch aur seekh dene ke liye kiya?

Watchman no. 13: ji! Bilkul! Hum sabko batana chahte the ki sabko apni chetna follow karni
chahiye
Reporter 1: kitne nek vichar hai aapke

Watchman no. 13: Hum toh maante hai ki agar sab log apni chetna ko aazad kardein toh
khud aazad ho jayenge.

Reporter 2: kya aapki chetna aazad hai?

Watchman no. 13: agar na hoti toh hum kya itna bada sammaan bech dete? Yaad rakhiye
chetna aazad hogi tabhi aap aazad ho paenge. Expecting claps, smiling widely.

Awkward silence, Watchman takes the hands and makes them clap, blows a whistle. Start
clapping on their own

Reporter 1: ji darshak bohot uttejit hai aapka morning routine jaan ne ke liye

Watchman no. 13: Humara koi routine nahi hai. Humare mann mai jo aata hai hum kar dete
hai.

Mic starts to withdraw. Watchman pulls it back

Reporter 2: kya aap roz apni job par nahi jaate?

Watchman no. 13: Ji hum jaate hai. Ek din bhi chhuti nahi li aaj tak humne

Reporter 1: Kya yeh ek routine nahi hai?

Reporter 2: kya yeh sach hai aapne ek bhi chhuti nahi li aaj tak?

Watchman no. 13: han humne ek bhi chhuti nahi li

Reporter 1: kya aap humse abhi jhoot bol rahe hai?

Watchman no. 13: ji bilkul nahi, chahe toh humare sahab ka attendance register dekh lijie
aap

Hands smack him on his hands and the other two withdraw making him stumble backwards.
Sets the podium and the mics again.

Reporter 2: aapne humarre sawal ka jawab nahi diya. Kya aap ek routine follow nahi karte?

Watchman no. 13: han par mere case mai vo alag hai

Reporter 1: kaise? Aapka routine routine nahi aur darshako ka routine routine hai?

Watchman no. 13: aap humari baat samajh nahi rahe.

Reporter 2: toh samjhaiye Watchman: han..toh..toh

Watchman struggling with the hands. Whistles turns into boos and hands randomly starts tp
smack
Reporter 1: Haan toh jesa ki aap dekh sakte hai yeh Mahender shukla hai, Dena Bank ke
Dilli Pitampura branch ke security guard. Inhone jhoot bolkar ek sidhh puruskaar haasil kar
liya aur / apne

Watchman grows angry and pulls both hands out, prepares them both as watchmen and
goes behind the structures.

Voice: ek seedh mai khade hoye

Voice: Attention!

Both stand erect.

Voice: Sab ek ek karke apna introduction denge

Number 12 and number 11 give the intro.

Voice: Humara bhagwan kon hai?

Both: Control room

Voice: dono ke paas android phone hai?

Both show their phones in one swift motion.

Voice: ab aapka endurance aur flexibility test hoga

Voice: ready, get set, go!

Both start running in circles with erect postures

Voice: Chadi phone torch ATM ki chabi

They both take everything out swiftly while running 11 becomes evidently tired and is taking
shallow breaths, 12 seems to be doing fine

Voice: One round more

12 quickly finishes the round and 11 struggles to do so.

Voice: Very Good. ab aage kadam rakhiye

Both step in

Voice: ek Watchman ke liye kya kya cheeze zaruri hai?

Both: furti tandarusti aur jagrukta

Voice: boht acche. Ab aap kuch stretches karke dikhae

11 tries to imitate whatever 12 is doing even when it’s getting physically impossible to do so.
They do some stretches then finish, 11 barely keeping up.

Voice: Seedhe khade hue

Voice: number 11 seedhe khade hue
Voice: very good
Voice: Ab ek ek karke aap dono chor banenge aur dusra unko pakdega

12 becomes chor first and makes 11 run and he couldn’t keep up and vomits, then gets up
and tries to run slowly, becoming a fast walk and stumbling, and slips on his laathi and falls
face first on the ground. His body going limp. 12 stands erect still smiling.

Awkward silence.

12 goes and takes his hand and makes his hold his.

Voice: Very good.

Voice: Ab number 11 chor banenge

12 sits on top of 11's still body. Smiling widely. And takes both his hands behind his back
and looks straight at the audience and smiles widely.

Voice: Good job. Number 12 iss session mai awwal aye hai. Ab aapko mai ek awwal
watchman ki dincharya, farz bataunga. Ek watchman ko apni post se kabhi hatna nahi. Ek
watchman ko kabhi sona nahi. Ek watchman ko kabhi baat nahi karni jab tak usse koi baat
shuru nahi kare. Ek Watchman ko sab customers aur officials ko acche se english mai greet
karna hai.

Watchman ka param satya na sona hai. Watchman ka dharm customers ki seva. Watchman
ko apni attendance humesha mark karni hai. Har ek chhuti par watchman ke paise katenge.
Kitne paise katenge depend karega ki watchman ki performance ab tak kaisi rahi hai.
Watchman ke liye ek complaint log hoga jisme customer ki saari complaints likhi jaengi. Agar
complaints 10 se zyada hui toh watchman ko naukari chhodni padegi.

(Senior official enters the ATM and spots Watchman No.13 sleeping. Discreetly closes the
door and goes up to the Watchman and scrutinizes his face. The Watchman is in deep
sleep. Senior official goes to the ATM machine and presses random buttons, intentionally
loud so that the Watchman wakes up.)

Watchman no.13 wakes up frantically

Watchman no. 13: Kaun..kaun hai!

Senior Official: Chor.

(Watchman no. 13 freezes, then frantically looks for his phone to call the control room)

Watchman no. 13: H.....hello, Sahab jaldi aa jaiye!

Senior Official: Bula lijiye jisko bulana hai, hum toh keh denge ki ATM ka guard so raha tha
aur jeb bhi khali thi toh socha aaj dakaiti karlein.

Watchman no. 13: (stutters) Ruk! udhar hi ruk tu! t..tumhe abhi jail bhijwate hain.

Senior official: Itni bhi himmat nahi hai kya ki andar aake pakad lo hume?

Watchman no. 13: Chup kar..udhar hi ruk! (shakey voice)

Senior Official: Aankhein khol ke dekhiye Shukla ji! Varna awaaz ke saath-saath naukari
bhi kho denge.

Watchman no. 13: (realising it’s the Senior official) Sahab aap!

Senior Official: Ji hum.

Watchman: Good morning Sahab.

Senior Official: Agar agli baar khali ATM mein asli chor aa jaye toh usko bhi good morning
bol dijiyega.

Watchman no.13: ATM khali kaise Sahab, hum hain na idhar?

Senior Official: Acha, aap hain idhar? Tabhi maine ATM se saare paise nikal liye.

Watchman no. 13: Nahi Sahab hum poora dhyan diye the.

Senior Official: Haan dikh raha hai kitna dhyan de rahe ho.

Watchman no. 13: Hum jage hi huye the Sahab.

Senior official: Acha acha..yeh aankhein laal kyu hai aapki? Nashe kiye the?

Watchman no. 13: Are kaisi baat kar rahe hain Sahab.

Senior official: Shukla tumhari baaton par vishwas karna mushkil ho gaya hai ab.

Watchman no. 13: Sahab aap mera muh sung lijiye..lijiye.

Senior official: Chhi! Piche hato!

Watchman no. 13: Sahab hum bol rahe hain hum nashe nahi kiye.
Senior Official. Agli baar tum soye huye mile ya kisi customer ki complain ayi ki tumne kuch
ulta-seedha bartaav kiya to apne liye koi naya ATM dhoond lena.

Watchman no. 13: Ji..ji Sahab hum ab se dhyaan rakhenge. (Takes out his register for the
monthly check)

Senior official: Ek baat batao Shukla.

Watchman no. 13: Ji Sahab.

Senior official: Tumhari shaadi ho gayi kya aakhir kaar?

Watchman no. 13: Nahi toh.

Senior official: Toh yeh chaudha din kahan gayab the tum?

Watchman no. 13: Hum poora time idhar the, ATM se hilte bhi nahi Sahab, bas ek ya do
number lagta hai tabhi jaate hain..ya kuch khana-peena ho toh.

Senior official: Fir attendance lagana bhi bhool gaye ho kya?

Watchman no. 13: Aapki machine mein koi dikkat hogi Sahab..aur jab se vo nayi chhape
wali machine ayi hai, humse nahi chalti.

Senior official: Bus angootha hi toh lagana hota hai.

Watchman no. 13: Lagate toh hain Sahab, vo humara chhaapa read hi nahi karta.

Senior official: Bahane mat banao.

Watchman no. 13: Sahab 20 saal kiye hain hum yeh naukari, aaj tak kabhi bahane banaye
hain?

Pauses and looks at him.

Watchman no. 13: Kya hua Sahab?

Senior Official: Kitne saalon se kar rahe hain aap yeh naukari?

Watchman no. 13: 20 saal.

Senior official: Hmm..20 saal ek cheez kar-karke aadmi thoda dheela toh pad hi jaata hai

Watchman no. 13: Hum toh aur achhe ho gaye hain apne kaam mein Sahab..aaj tak ek
chori nahi hui is ATM mein.

Senior official: Haan har samay bheed bhi toh lagi rehti hai idhar, poora din kitna kaam
hota hai na, abhi bhi kya lambi line lagi padi hai customers ki.
Watchman no. 13: (flustered) Haan toh..Sahab..kabhi bhi kuch bhi ho sakta hai..aapne bhi
toh chori kar hi li hoti agar hum na rokte / toh

Senior official: Yeh shirt ke button thode aur khol lijiye, baniyan dhang se nahi dikh raha
tumhara.

(Watchman tries and speak but chokes on his own words)

Senior Official - Is umar mein watchman training dobara loge toh baatein banayenge log.
Par ab koi aur chara bhi nahi hai.

Watchman no. 13: Humko kauno zarurat nahi hai training ka.

Senior Official: Jab tak nahi loge yeh naukari bhool jao.

Watchman no. 13: Par / Sahab

Senior Official: Button band kijiye apne, aur kal ya toh training mein bhaithiyega ya ghar
par. Naukari pe aane ki koi zarurat nahi.

Scene shifts to training scene 2. Voice: Humara bhagwan kaun hai? (Watchman no. 13
doesn’t respond)

Number 12: Control Room

Voice: Humara bhagwan kaun hai?

(Watchman no. 13 doesn’t respond)

Number 12: Control Room

Voice: Number 13! Humara bhagwaan kaun hai!

Watchman no. 13: Hmph (as a means of protest)

Voice: Android phone hone chahiye ya button wale?

Number 12: Android Phone!

Voice: Kiske paas abhi nahi hai?

(Watchman no. 13 raises his hand)

(A phone rings)

Voice: Number 13!

Watchman no. 13: Paisa nahi hai humare paas android phone khareedne ka

Voice: Aapko funds provide kiye jaenge phone khareedne ke.

Watchman no. 13: Arre par Humko nahi chahiye android phone
Voice: Watchman ke paas android phone hona zaruri hai.

Watchman no. 13: Ky/u ?

Voice: Yaad rakhein aap security guards hain, aap logon ki aur unke keemti cheezon ki
rakhwali karte hai tabhi vo santushti se rehe paate hain.

Watchman no. 13: Hmph

Voice: Ab number 13 aap bataiye ki watchman ka dharm kya hai?

Watchman no. 13: M..mujhe nahi pata.

Voice: Main dohraunga..Watchman ka dharm kya hai?

Watchman no. 13: Customers ki seva!

Voice: Main baar baar repeat kar raha hu..Watchman ka param satya kya hai? (Watchman
no.13 all flustered trying to think hard)

(Phone rings)

Voice: Number 13 aapke liye phone

Watchman no. 13: Hello? Ji kaun?

Watchman no. 13: J..ji sahab

Watchman no. 13: Are toh sahab aap inko samjhaiye na humne jab kehe diya ki nahi
chahiye hume android / phone

Watchman no. 13: ji..ji sahab

Watchman no. 13: ji

Watchman no. 13: ji

Watchman no. 13: hum ab theek se karenge sahab Watchman: sach kehe rahe hai hum
theek se krenge

Voice: Watchman ka dharam kya hai?

Watchman no. 13: Na sona

Voice: very good.

Voice: Sab ek seedh mein khade honge.

Voice: On your marks!

Voice: Get set!

Voice: Go!

Voice: Uniform ke button sab dhang se lagayenge.

(WatchMan fixes his buttons while running)

Voice: Topi hamesha pehen ke rakhenge.

(Watchman tries finding his cap, doesn’t find it, panics and runs to the other end of the stage
and finds it lying inside the ATM, takes it and leaves, stops, comes back and writes
vigorously in his notepad and goes back in the training, sweaty and with a hat on.)

Voice: Paseena pochiye. (Watchman No.13 does that)

Voice: Chhadi, phone, torch, id card, topi, ATM ki chaabi.

(Watchman frantically searches, stumbles, keep searching, sweaty and all over the place,

Number 12 does everything correctly and with grace)

Voice: Number 12 ek chor hai aur vo ATM ki wire katne ki koshish karta hai, usse pakadke
dikhaiye.

(Watchman no. 13 takes out his pager)

Watchman no. 13: Hello control /room

Voice: Chor ko pakadiye.

(Watchman no. 13 drops his pager to the ground, blushes and picks it up, runs aimlessly in
the area)

Voice: Chhadi se maariye.

(Watchman does so)

Voice: Uske hathiyar chheeniyein.

(Watchman pretends to do so)

Voice: Control room ko call lagaiye.

Watchman no. 13: Hello control room.

Voice: Good / morning

Watchman no. 13: Goodmorning Sir, main ek chor ko pakda hai. Voice: Kaunsi branch,
kaunsa area?

Watchman no. 13: Pitampura.

Voice: Shuru se

Watchman no. 13: Goodmorning sir, main / Shukla

Voice: Naam zaruri nahi.

Watchman no. 13: Go..Goodmorning.

Voice: Shuru se.

Watchman no. 13: Goodmorning Sir, main Dena Bank ki Dilli Pitampura branch ke ATM ka
Watchman hu, yahaan chori hui hai, aap jaldi backup bhej dijiye.

Voice: Ab number 13 chor aur number 12 guard banenge Watchman no. 13: hmm ab batate
hai tumko

Watchman no. 12 catches him in no time and beats him up

Voice: Excellent job!

Voice: Stand straight!

(Watchman stumbles and almost falls but gets up and stands erect)

Voice: Gardan seedhi!

(Watchman does so)

Voice: Hands by your side.

(Watchman does so)

Voice: Kamar seedhi.

(Watchman does so)

Voice: Chhadi ek haath mein!

(Watchman does so)

Voice: Dayine haath mein.

(Watchman does so)

(A bee sits on his face and he tries to kill it, sneezes in the process)

Voice: Chheekna, ubaasi lena, khaasna, hilna zaruri nahi!

(Watchman grunts, looking animated because of the sharp movements and stern body)

Voice: Apni position par jaiye.

Voice: Training ends.

He sits in his seat and as soon as he does he becomes his normal self muttering to himself,
mocking the voice

Watchman no. 13: Humara bhagwaan kon hai? Android phone lao! Saala..

Customer enters

Watchman no. 13: Good morning Sir.

Customer: Good morning-good morning, Mishra ji, aap aise kone mein bhich ke baithte hain
hum bhool hi jaate hain aap idhar hain.

Watchman no. 13: Har roz aate hai aap idhar

Customer: Thoda aage khisak ke baith jaiye.

(Awkward silence, weirded out by watchman’s expressionless stare)

Customer: Mishra ji...aapse kehe rahe hain. Aage khisak kar baith jaiye thoda.

Watchman no. 13: Sorry Sahab..Sir, hum is jagah ke alawa aur kahi nahi baith sakte.

Customer: Kyu?

Watchman no. 13: Humko yahin baithne ko bola hai.

Customer: Are toh kya ho gaya..thoda unnis-bees toh chalta hai

Watchman no. 13: Unnis-bees ke chakkar main humari naukari chale jayegi Sahab.

Customer: Chaliye jaisa aap theek samjhein...hume toh apne paise nikalne se matlab
hai..par aapke naukari bachane ke chakkar main agar humko attack pada toh humari maut
aapke zimme ayegi.

Watchman no. 13: Aapko dikkat hai toh jaake humare training officer se baat kijiye

Customer: Aap toh bhadak gaye, kya hua din accha nahi ja raha kya?

Watchman no. 13: Sab theek. Hume naya naya naukari karna sikhaya tha abhi.

Customer: Aaj jaada kam hai thoda nahi?

Watchman no. 13: Ji. (smiles sarcastically)

Customer: Bade hi tameezdaar hogaye hain aap toh Mishra ji hain? Training bohot hi
badhiya hogi.

Watchman no. 13: Thank you Sir.

Customer goes to smack him on his back and watchman moves quickly

Customer: Phurti bhi aa gayi hai ab toh.

Watchman no. 13: Aap bhi training lijiye aapko bhi bohot fayda hoga

Customer: Itne mazakiya apne senior se ho gaye toh naukari jaegi

Watchman no. 13: Fir toh achi baat hai ki aap khali customer hai

Customer: Hahahaha (slaps him on his back)

Watchman stares at him and keeps staring.

Customer: Toh? Slaps him on his back again

Watchman no. 13: Ek naya rule bana hai kal se ki ATM ke andar 2 min se zyada khade
nahi ho sakte

Customer: Aap chhoti chhoti baaton mai bura maan jaate hai. Slaps him again on the back

Watchman no. 13 finally gets up giving up his seat and glares at the customer

(Customer starts humming and reaches the ATM, taking his own time, phone rings)

Customer: Haanji boliye..tum naraz kyu ho rahi ho..humne uss din bhi kaha tha credit card
ki zarurat nahi hai...apni Amma ko phone mat dena bata rahe hain...ji..ji..ji..ji..toh apni bitiya
se boliye na kaisi bina sir-paer ki baatein karti hai..aa..aap phone dijiye usko vapis..haan
tumko kya poochna tha?..hum ruko poochte hain..yehi Watchman..haan usi din wale Mishra
ji.

Watchman no. 13: Ji galat naam keh / rahe

Customer: Haanji Mishra ji suniye zara.. yeh khata band karwane ka process kya hota hai
kuch pata hai kya?

Watchman no. 13: Galat naam liye aap humara

Customer: Aap sawal ka jawab dijiye na

Watchman no. 13: Hume nahi pata.

Customer: Arre..ruko hum baad mai call karte hai tumko..hum aapse itne tameez se pesh
aa rahe hai aur aap chadhe ja rahe hai humpe

Watchman no. 13: Uthiye

Customer: Kyu?

Watchman no. 13: Humari kursi hai.

Customer: Haan toh poora din baith hi toh rehte ho..ek baar ke liye khade ho jaoge toh
tumhare liye hi acha hoga.

Watchman no. 13: Aap bhi apni naukari mai baith te hi honge na

Customer: Haan toh humara kaam tumse alag hai.

Watchman no. 13: Humari kursi hai uthiye (starts to snatch the box)

Customer: Dimaag satak gaya hai kya? Kaisi harkate / kar

Watchman no. 13: Chup kariye!

Customer: Zyada na zabaan mat ladao humse.

Watchman no. 13: Har roz yahan baithke jo tumhari aur baaki befkooofo ki baatein sunni
padti hai vo kaafi nahi hai kya

Customer: Hum befkoof?

Watchman no. 13: Haan tum befkoof. Tum aur sab ke sab. Sab apni faltu ki naukari karke
samajhte ho ki bohot mahaan kaam karne lage ho. Sab cheetiyo ki tarha ek seedh mai
bhagte rehte ho, aur sab samajhte ho ki ek dusre se bohot alag ho.

Customer: Tum kyu karte ho yeh naukari fir? Chhod do. Vaise bhi kuch khaas guard nahi
ho tum.

Watchman no. 13: Main bhi tumhare jaisa hu par mujhe kam se kam pata toh hai apnne
doglepan /ni ka

Customer: Han toh mitado apna doglapan! mat bano cheeti! Chhodo naukari!

Watchman no. 13: Humko humari kursi do

Customer: Nahi

Watchman no. 13: de!

Watchman no. 13: Chhod kursi

In the midst of it, customer gets up and watchman falls face first on the ground. Customer
leaves

3 bodies on stage, crawling in the space. 2 bodies creating a setting- a cubical in which the
third person stands and starts to dress up as the other two form a line behind him. Their
hands start coming out and the 3rd body keeps shushing them and he gets ready as the
watchman. One hand comes out and in front of him

Watchman no. 13: Humara naam hai mahendra Shukla..ptch

Another hand comes out and the first one goes back

Watchman no. 13: Humara naam hai Mahendra Shukla.

The hands keep coming out individually and he keeps trying ro say the same sentence in a
different tone. Grows frustrated but still tries and finally puts his cap on, corrects his posture
and bangs his laathi on the floor and says as 4 hands come out as mics in front of them

Watchman no. 13: Humara naam hai Mahendra Shukla

Reporter 1: Kaunsi branch ke hain?

Watchman no. 13: Hum dilli, Pitampura branch se hai.

Reporter 2: Duty kese karte hain aap?

Watchman no. 13: Acche se karte hain!

Reporter 2: Dincharaya kya hoti hai aapki.

Watchman no. 13: Subah uthte hai aur khana wana pani wani sab pack karke chaliye aate
hai kaam pe

Reporter 1: Kaam pe kya karna hota hai

Watchman no. 13: Chaukidaari (sarcastically)

Reporter 2: Ek se 10 ke beech aap chaukidaari ko kitna rating denge?

Watchman no. 13: 1

3 hands smack him

Watchman no. 13: 2

3 hands smack him

Watchman no. 13: 7

3 hands about to smack him again

Watchman no. 13: 10!

Reporter 1: Yeh naukari aapko itni pasand kyu hai?

Watchman no. 13: Humko neend nahi aati toh socha apni beemari se paisa kama lete hai

Reporter 2: Kya aapko yeh naukari pasand hai?

Watchman no. 13: Thodi bohot

3 hands about to smack him

Watchman no. 13: Humari dream job thi.

Reporter 1: Aap future watchmen ko kya advise dena chahenge?

Watchman no. 13: Watchman ka bas ek hi kaam hai vo hai na sona.

Reporter 2: Aur

Watchman no. 13: Aur apni post na chhodna.

Reporter 1: Kuch aur

Watchman no. 13: Acche se rakhwali kar / na

Reporter 2: Aur

Watchman no. 13: Android phone rakh/na

Reporter 1: Kuch aur

Watchman no. 13: Sahab ki chaatna

Reporter 2: Aur

Watchman no. 13: nahake na aana

Reporter 1: Kuch aur

Watchman no. 13: ATM mein chori karna

Reporter 1: Aap nahake nahi aate?

Reporter 2: Aap sahab ki kaise chaat te hai?

Reporter 1: Kya kya churaya hai?

Watchman yanks the two bodies from behind him and they fall and pick up 2 sheets and
hide behind them.

Watchman no. 13 : Humara ghar jo hai na..naale ke bilkul saamne hai. Bohot jaach partal
karke ghar liya tha vo humne. Humari maa ko humne bataya tha ki hum society mai rehte
hai jis din unhone aake humara asli ghar dekha, vo sadna khake marr gayi. Humari maa
bahut bholi si thi. Hume jo kehete the maan leti thi. Hum jab chhota sa the na..tab unse
jaake kitaab khareedne ke liye paisa maang lete the, aur vo bina kuch jaach partaal ke de
bhi deti thi, aur hum jaake bade shauk se film dekh kar aa jaate the. Unko khabar tak nahi
hoti. Phir humare maa baap ne hume school ke baad college bhej diya yeh soch ke ki hum
bade afsar banenge. Agar bade nahi toh choote mote afsar bhi chalta. Par aadhi degree ke
baad humko samajh aa gaya ki uska koi fayda nahi. Toh humne college chhod diya. Humare
pitaji toh humare 1st year me hi swarg sidhaar gaye the, humari maako humne andhere mai
rakha. Uss din jab vo humara ghar dekhne ayi humne unko bata diya ki hum ek watchman
hai aur afsar nahi, aur vo sadma khaake marr gayi. Mera daftar mere ghar se 30 min ki doori
par hai. Uss raste mai mujhe kam se kam 1 lal batti par lagbhag 2 se 5 minute tak rukna
padta hai. Vo chauraha car accidents aur baaki haadso ke liye kafi mashoor hai. Aaj mujhe
ek mari hui billi raaste par dikhi, uski antareeya raaste par bichhi hui thi aur poora raasta
khoonam khoon hua pada tha. Mera mann paseej gaya par meri nazar usse hatt nahi payi.
Uss din thode thode time mai meri aankhon ke saamne se vo drishya guzarta tha. Jitni baar
yeh hua utna hi mera mann uss marri hui billi ko dobara dekhne ka hua. Din khatam hua aur
uss samay tak mujhe ek ajeeb kism ki talabh hone lagi, Uss mari hui billi ko dekhne ke liye
meri aankhein lalcha rahi thi. Mai aisa kyu mehsoos kar raha tha mujhe nahi pata. Par uss
din ushi raaste se vapis aate waqt maine dekha ki raasta bilkul saaf ho gaya tha. Khoon ka
ek naamu nishaan nahi tha. Mai khush tha ki ab kisiko aisi ghinoni cheez nahi dekhni
padegi, par uss khushi ke peeche ek ajeeb kism ki hatasha bhi thi.

Only Number 12 is in the ATM. She is doing repetitive actions. She stands erect, takes a
step forward, salutes, takes a step back, sits down, does this once, repeats it and then starts
to add actions to this loop after each loop.

Senior Official enters the ATM

Senior Official inspects the new watchman, raises his hand which makes the watchman
pause

Senior official tries to smile at the watchman the way he is smiling, fixes his own self and
tries to correct his posture as much as possible and he then raises his hands again causing
watchman to walk, he inspects that and tries and copy his walk

Voice: Attention

Both of then pause and looks straight ahead with a smile on their faces

Voice: Very good, ab sab ek ek karke apna introduction denge.

Watchman goes first then senior official

Senior official: Senior Official 12, Pitampura branch

Voice: Very good. Ab ek checking drill karke dikhaein.

Senior official and watchman do a set of actions in relation to one another like a movement
run

Voice: Very good. Ab Senior Official apni post pe jayein.

Senior official leaves

Voice: Number 12 humesha yaad rakhein, aap security guards hai, aap logo ki aur unke
keemti cheezo ki rakhwali karte hai tabhi vo santushti se rehe paate hain.

Number 12: YES SIR!

Voice: Lathi ko thoda neeche se pakdein.

He does so

Voice: Doosre haath ki mutthi banaein.

He does so

Voice: Pairon mein ek hatheli ke naap ka gap rakhein.

He does so

Voice: March karein,

He does so

Voice: Apne steps ko bada karein

He does so

Voice: Thoda chhota karein.

He does so

Voice: Thoda bada karein.

He does so

Voice: Thoda chhota karein.

He does so

Voice: Thoda bada karein.

He does so

Voice: Chalte waqt ghutno ko 90 degree ke angle par modein.

He does so

Voice: Thoda aur.

Voice: Stretching karein.

He does the same routine as training scene one and stays in the last pose

Voice: Ab aapko mai ek awwal watchman ki dincharya, farz bataunga. Ek watchman ko apni
post se kabhi hatna nahi. Ek watchman ko kabhi sona nahi. Ek watchman ko kabhi baat nahi
karni jab tak usse koi baat shuru nahi kare. Ek Watchman ko sab customers aur officials ko
acche se english mai greet karna hai. Watchman ka param satya na sona hai. Watchman ka
dharm customers ki seva. Watchman ko apni attendance humesha mark karni hai. Har ek
chhuti par watchman ke paise katenge. Kitne paise katenge depend karega ki watchman ki
performance ab tak kaisi rahi hai. Watchman ke liye ek complaint log hoga jisme customer ki
saari complaints likhi jaengi. Agar complaints 10 se zyada hui toh watchman ko naukari
chhodni padegi. Ek Watchman ke liye chust aur tandarust hona bohot zaruri hai.

Number 12’s smile cracks a bit

Ek watchman ko humesha muskurate rehna chahiye.

Number 12 smiles wider, trying hard to maintain the pose

Ek Watchman ko shauchalya ka istemal tabhi karna chahiye jab vo ATM se bahar nikle, ek
watchman ko duty ke baad bhi ATM mai rehna chahiye, ek watchman ko kabhi kisi bhi halat
mai ATM se bahar nahi nikalna chahiye.

He falls face first and stays there

Ek watchman ko customer ko ATM machine kaise chalti hai, kyu chalti hai, kaise usse theek
karte hai aana chahiye. Ek watchman ko bilkul swatch aur khushbudar hona chahiye.
Watchman ke baal dhang se bane hue chahiye, watchman ko apni uniform ke alawa aur
kuch nahi pehenna chahiye. Ek watchman/ ko

Meanwhile, Number 12 gets up, has no smile on her face and starts destroying the set and
destroys the Voice. We see her beating the voice who is behind the structures and once
voice dies she comes downstage and sits, and she smiles.

Number 13 and Number 11 come from behind the mess and start building the structures
again. We see Number 12 sitting in the ATM in place of Number 13 without any smile. The
Customer is about to enter the ATM again.

Blackout