PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT PERSONALITY y y Embodiment of feelings and behavior which make man the unique person that he is.

The way an individual is interrelated through his ideas, actions and attitudes with the many nonhuman aspects of his environment and his biological heritage. The overall pattern or integration of a person s structure, modes of behavior, attitudes, aptitudes, interests, intellectual abilities and many other distinguishable traits. Sum total of the qualities and characteristics of a person as shown in her manner of walking, talking, dressing and her attitudes and interests and ways of reacting to other people.

Roger s Person-Centered Theory of Personality  We all have an actualizing tendency whereby we seek to develop our capacities.  It is directional and constructive. It encompasses all of our motivations.  The self, a central construct in this theory, develops through interactions with others and includes awareness of being. The two concepts yield our self-actualizing tendency. Social-Cognitive Perspective - Personality is based on regular patterns of thinking learned in social situations.  Interaction of Environment & Intellect Aspects of Personality Mental Aspect - Refers to the intellectual capacity.  How a person talks, the range of ideas he expresses, and the things he talked about, as well as his values and mental alertness gives evidence of his mental capacity. Emotional Aspect  Shown in his likes and dislikes, whether he is aggressive or docile, how he responds when things become difficult, how quickly he is given to anger, whether he can take the job or not. Social Aspect  This is seen on how well the person conducts himself with other people and how well he observes the rules of etiquette that govern the society. Physical Aspect  Heredity and environment determine the entire physiological system of an individual.

Moral Aspect  The aspect of personality has to do with a person s awareness of the difference between what is wrong and right. Spiritual Aspect  The spiritual aspect is the conciousness of the higher values in life. Personality Traits Habits - Action often repeated at regular intervals until they become fixed characteristics. Attitudes - Predispositions to respond favorably or unfavorably toward particular people, object, events or situations. Character - It is the description of a behavior that is distinct and specified about the individual. Interests - The natural inclination to focus one s concern on a specific area. Principles - Guides to enable a person to make judgments and standards of acceptance. Values - Those that may be considered good, important and desirable in life.

Self-Image y y y y Self-Image - The idea, conception, or mental image one has of oneself. Self-Esteem - Respect or favorable image of oneself self-image is how you perceive yourself. These self-images can be very positive, giving a person confidence in their thoughts and actions, or negative, making a person doubtful of their capabilities and ideas. Some believe that a person's self-image is defined by events that affect him or her (doing well or not in school, work, or relationships.) Others believe that a person's self-image can help shape those events. But it cannot be denied that your self-image has a very strong impact on your happiness, and your outlook on life can affect those around you. However, it's important that your self-image be both positive and realistic. Finding the balance between feeling positive about oneself but having realistic goals is important.

y y

y y

Inner voice y Have you ever asked yourself "what was I thinking?" or thought to yourself "that was stupid" when doing something? That was your internal voice judging you. In some people that internal voice can be too critical and harsh, leading to low self-esteem. In others, it may be so weak that they don't notice when they are mean or insensitive to others. One way to gain a better understanding of your current self-image is to imagine your reaction to certain situations.

y y y y

Basic Table Manners

y Good basic table manners are important because they ensure that both guests and hosts are comfortable at the table. Table manners are mostly common sense. Following these will carry you through most common situations. 1. Sit up straight. 2. Don't speak with your mouth full of food. 3. Chew quietly, and try not to slurp. 4. Keep bites small. 5. Eat at a leisurely pace. 6. Don't wave utensils in the air, especially knives or if there is food on them. 7. Keep your elbows off the table. 8. Don't Reach. 9. Don't forget please and thank you. 10. Excuse yourself when leaving the table. 11. Compliment the Cook. 12. Wipe your mouth before drinking.

Table etiquette y y Etiquette is defined as the rules for socially acceptable behavior. A 17th century French dictionary gave its meaning as a small sign, label, or ticket.

Dining etiquette y y From the beginning of time, the act of eating together has had a pleasant social significance. The word companion and company comes from the Latin "com-", meaning "with" or "together" and the Latin "panis" meaning "bread" or "food".

A companion is someone you eat with! So that the experience is as pleasant and inoffensive as possible requires developing acceptable techniques of eating.

Below are the ten most common faux pas in social dining and how you can avoid them! If you remember: liquids on the right, solids on the left, you ll never eat someone else s bread again! That s your coffee cup to the right of the plate, and your bread plate on the left! y Your napkin is always placed somewhere within your dining territorial borders. y As soon as you are seated, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap. y At the conclusion of the meal, place your napkin partly folded, never crumpled, at the left of your plate. y Even a paper napkin should never be crushed and tossed into your plate. The Place Setting y y y y y y y y y y y The knife is never pointed at anyone. The traditional place setting has the forks on the left side and knives (always turned inward facing the plate) and spoons on the right side. The silver is placed in order of use so that you can follow the rule begin at the outside and work in towards the plate! * No Oars! Once silverware is picked up from the table it NEVER touches the table again. When to Start in gatherings of six or less people, begin eating only after everyone is served. Bread and rolls are broken off into bite-size pieces (why do you think they call meals, breaking bread!!!) and butter is spread on each bite as you eat it. Dishes are passed from left to right. Salt and pepper are always passed together, even if someone asks you only for the salt. Hold a stemmed glass by the stem! The finish when you are finished with each course your knife (blade turned inward) and fork should be placed beside each other on the plate diagonally from upper left to lower right (11 to 5 if you imagine your plate as a clock face). There are two styles of eating, Continental and American. In the Continental style, which is more practical, the knife (for right handed folks) is kept in the right hand and the fork in the left, with no switching unlike the zigzag practice of the American style where the fork is changed from the left hand to the right aftercutting food. The left hand is usually kept off the table and in your lap during American style dining, except when it's being used to hold the fork during the cutting of food. In the Continental style the fork is held in the left hand with the tines down; the back of the fork up and the left index finger is placed on the back of the fork, low, for stability.

y y

This works for meat and other foods that can be pierced. For other foods (mashed potatoes, etc.) Both knife and fork are held while you chew although you can rest them on the plate.

How to Handle Tricky Foods

Artichokes: Pull off leaves and dip in sauce until you reach the heart. This should be cut into pieces and dipped with a fork. Asparagus: crisp spears may be eaten with fingers or sliced with a sharp knife. Soft spears should be cut and eaten with a fork. Baked Potato: Slice across the top, slab on butter or other toppings and eat flesh from inside the skin. Unless feeding children, you should not move the flesh to the plate before preparing it - if the host had wanted to serve mashed potatoes he would not have baked them. You may also slice the potato into many pieces if you intend to eat the skin. Corn on the Cob: May be served with corn-holders. If not grasp the ends and eat in even rows as if on an old manual type-writer. Be sure not to say "Ding!" at the end of each row. Garnish: Garnish, especially in restaurants is common. You will often see such foods as parsley, orange slices or candied apples. It is okay to eat the garnish. Garnishes should always be edible, but if you are unsure, you may wish to politely ask your host before indulging. Meats Bacon: May be eaten with fingers especially if crisp. If bacon is soft it is generally better to use a fork. Cornish Game Hens and other Fowl: It is okay to use fingers on small birds, some may be stuffed. If so, use a spoon to scoop stuffing out onto your plate. Chicken and Turkey: At informal occasions such as picnics, if the bone is in, eat chicken with your hands, no bone chicken should normally eaten with a fork (if provided). For formal occasions, forks and knives are generally required. However, small pieces such as wings can safely be consumed with your hands. Ribs: Usually not served on formal occasions, this entree is normally eaten with the hands. However, make sure there is a napkin handy before digging in. Pate: You may not be sure that this is meat, but it is. Usually it is spread on bread or crackers with a knife and then eaten with the fingers. Seafood Whole Fish: If it doesn't wink at you, begin by cutting off the head. Next, slice along the center of the back and lift one side of the fish from the bones. Then remove the spine and other bones and place aside or on another plate. Eat the flesh in small bites to be careful that you don't consume a bone. If you do get a bone in your mouth - do not try to swallow it! Remove it and replace it to the plate. Oysters and Clams: In shell, hold in one hand and pry open with the other. Reach in and pull out the oyster, then place in mouth. Swallow. Served on the half-shell oysters and clams may be eaten with a seafood fork. Crab: First remove legs and suck the meat out of them. Next break open the backs and remove the meat with a small fork. Soft-shell crabs are entirely edible and may be eaten with a knife and fork. Lobster: When it is served whole, start by twisting off the claws. You will likely be given a nut cracker to get through the tough shell. A fork or a pick may be used to remove the meat from the shell. Next, start in on the tail, removing it from the body with your hands then removing the meat with a fork. The legs can be removed next, the meat can be pulled or sucked from the shell. Now, break the body in half lengthwise. Use a fork to obtain the remaining meat. The liver and any eggs may also be eaten. Shrimp: Large shrimp are usually eaten with the fingers. Hold the shrimp by the tail. Smaller shrimp may be eaten with a fork. Miscellany Caviar: Usually spread on toast with a small knife, may be topped with lemon juice and garnish. Usually, you are presented a dish from which you remove the amount you wish to take.

Snails: Grasp the shell and remove snail using an oyster fork. Depending on circumstances, there are ways to set a table for a meal. y y Place settings will naturally change depending upon the formality of the occasion. Levels of formality are good because they can distinguish certain day or events or mark out specific people for honor.

Informal setting y y y y y In this setting the plate is the center and other utensils radiate from it. Closest to the plate on the right is a butter knife, with the serated edge facing the plate and immediately to its right is a soup spoon. To the left of the plate are first the salad fork and then the standard fork. Above the point of the knife is the wine glass and to its left rests the water glass or goblet. The napkin is usually place on the plate, folded under the forks or even placed to the left of the forks.

Formal setting y y y They involve a service plate to accommodate salad. This plate is placed on top of the dinner plate and removed after the course comprising the salad. A separate plate for bread is also provided and possibly an additional glass should a more than one wine be served.

Buffet y y y In this, the food is neither placed on the table nor served by wait staff. Instead, the food, and often the plates and utensils are provided at a table or counter and the diners are left to choose their own utensils, food and beverages. This manner of serving guests is often used when large numbers are to be present at a meal, especially if the event is to be informal.

Knowing who is to sit where can often be a touchy business. y There are a few simple rules that apply to most situations: 1. When there is but a single table, the host and hostess usually sit at opposite ends, or occasionally in the center of the table facing each other. 2. The highest ranking male generally sits to the right of the hostess. The wife of the highest ranking man or the highest ranking woman herself sits to the right of the host. The second ranking male will usually sit to the left of the hostess. 3. A rule that has all kinds of interesting psychological implications says that married people are never seated side by side, but those engaged are seated side by side whenever possible. 4. For informal dining, it is wise to have the host in a seat close to the kitchen. Try to mix up family and friends so that spouses and cronies are not seated together. 5. For large family gatherings it is often policy to put age groups together, the elder family members near the head of the table and the younger members at the opposite end or even at a separate table.

Etiquette & Social Graces y y Every culture in the world has an accepted code of etiquette and disdain for those who break that code. Manners and social graces don't just show off a person's level of education and charm.

In the street y y y When crossing the street the gentleman stands on the side of the oncoming vehicle. When walking along the sidewalk, the man is on the curb of the street. When walking in group, do not walk more than two abreast, let other pass from behind you.

On the bus y y y When entering a crowded bus, women now stand just like the men. Should there be one available and a man and a woman is eyeing that seat, the man should give in to the woman. When women stand on the bus, they should keep their feet firmly planted on the floor, brace themselves for sudden jolts and avoid embarrassment of falling on someone or flat on their faces. Should she be carrying a load, it is wiser to ask the person seated on the aisle to hold them for her. If the woman is escorted by a man, the lady should climb the bus first. In leaving, the man should precede the woman and extend a helping hand when is getting off the bus by holding her arm of supporting her elbow.

y y y

In the restaurant y y y y y y y y y y y y When entering the restaurant, the man precedes the woman and lead her to a convenient place. If there s a waiter who comes forward to attend to them, then the man steps back and let the woman go first. When the seat has been chosen, either the waiter or or the man pulls out a chair and seats the woman. The choice of seat should depend on the view she will get. She should be by the window or if there s a view to see or be able to look out into the main part of the restaurant. She should not be placed where passing people may strike her. When there is a group of four, women are seated on the wall seats and the men on the aisle seat opposite the women. If younger couples dine with an elderly couple, the older couple are given the wall seat. When one woman is accompanied by two men, she seats between them. The women give their orders directly to the waiter. If the man is familiar with specialties of the place he can suggest some choicms on thees to her. Unless the woman knows that her escort is well off, she should give consideration for his pocket and avoid ordering expensive items on the menu.

y y

when a group enters the restaurant and sees people they know, they continue directly to their table, nodding hello as they pass. When introductions are necessary, all men stand when a woman is introduced.

Calling the waiter: y The usual way is to catch his eye and wave and then raise your hand. If he does not look your way, you may call waiter or waitress quietly. If he is too far you may ask other waiter to call him for you. Clapping of hands, whistling, shouting or saying psssst is considered rude.

Smorgasboard y y y y you should not overload your plate. If you choose foods that do not go well together, use a clean plate for each trip. Leave your used plate and silver at the table for the waiter to remove. Take your time

Paying the check y y y y When eveeryone has finished, the host catches the eye of the waiter and says check, please. The check is presented face down on small plate. He looks at it, checks it quickly for mistakes and point it out quietly without a scene. If management is unpleasant, pay the check and do not return to that establishment again.

In the church      Conservative clothing should be worn Do not unduly attract attention when you enter, walk quietly to a convenient seat. Avoid greeting friends in a loud voice Quietly acknowledge greetings with a slight bow of your head and a smile. Participate actively, but do not attract attention by praying too loudly or singing at the top of your voice.

Workplace Etiquette y y y When you go on a job interview, be on time and dress appropriately. After the interview, send a thank-you note to your potential employer. If you work in a cubicle, avoid distracting your co-workers by talking loudly on the phone, or striking up personal conversations with those around you. When meeting clients or superiors, look them in the eye, smile confidently, and give a firm--but not aggressive--handshake.

Internet Etiquette y y y y Since it is difficult to convey a tone in text, you should invest extra time to carefully wording your emails and posts. Never type in all capital letters, as this gives the impression that you are shouting. Always capitalize appropriate letters, and use proper grammar and punctuation. Not doing so looks lazy and gives the impression that you don't care. Avoid hitting "reply all" unless that is your intention.

Phone Etiquette y y y y If a call disconnects, it is the responsibility of the person who initiated the call to call the other party back. Only put someone on speakerphone if you have their permission first. It is inappropriate to have a loud cell phone conversation about private matters in a public place. It is also inappropriate to take or place a cell phone call while dining with others.

General Tips

y Those getting on an elevator should always wait for those who are getting off to do so. y The person who reaches the door first should open it for the other, regardless of gender. y It is not necessary to tip when you pick up take-out from a restaurant.
y If an engagement is broken, it's appropriate for the bride to give back the ring, no matterwho initiated the break-up.

Suggested Words to Use Often 1. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Add the person s name: Ex. Mr. Cruz, Mr. Santos,How may I help you?, What can I do to you? 2. Please- Yes, please . Could you wait for a moment please? This sound better than wait for a minute . 3. Thank you this sounds better than thanks. Say thank you to anyone who did something for you. 4. it s my pleasure sir or ma am you re welcome or you are very welcome 5. I am sorry. An apology is not used often enough when we acknowledge our fault. To be effective, it must be sincere, personal and timely. Used the word I not we or they. Say I am sorry right away to acknowledge that there is a problem that we are going to solve it. 6. I ll be happy to . Conveys the message that we are giving this additional service happily and we are going this extra mile for the guest. This could be an effective response to a customer s request. 7. Remember person s names a person s name is to him/her, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.if you cannot pronounce the name, you can say could you help me pronounce your name please? or could you spell that for me please?

some rules are: a. Pay attention b. Repeat the name immediately c. Make a mental association8. Please, be my guest , you can say this when someone is borrowing something that is yours. Eye Contact y y y y y y y y If you want to look and sound sincere, maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking to. Not maintaining eye contact is like saying you are a non-person, insignificant. The most valuable message of eye contact is recognition Break eye contact frequently as you talk or listen. The best technique is to look down to the side and back. A polite listener will focus on the chin, mouth, or one side of the other person s face. Rules of eye contact depend on one s culture. So be conscious of the rule.

The Art of Conversation 5 Do s of Conversation

1. Listen more than you talk. y Ironically enough, the key to the art of conversation is not in the talking, but in the listening. y Avoid conversational narcism. Ask those you converse with interesting and thoughtful questions. 2. Come to an occasion armed with topics at the ready. y On the way to a party or dinner, I think about the people I will be seeing that night and brainstorm stories I can tell and questions I can ask. y If you don t know the people you will be conversing with, think about the things that will probably interest those you meet. 3. Tailor the conversation to the listener. y a much better rule is simply to tailor your conversation topics to those you are conversing with. y Talking about motorcycles in mixed company will bore half the room; not talking about them with your riding posse would be unthinkable. 4. Take your turn. y A conversation is a group project, with each person weaving in a tidbit here and there. It s no time for monologues. 5. Think before you speak. y To avoid offending, don t throw out statements laden with value-judgments. For example, instead of saying, The mayor sure is a moron, huh? Ask, What do you think of the mayor s rebuilding proposal?

Don ts of Conversation

1. Don t interrupt. There are actually two forms of interrupting, as 1954 s Esquire Etiquette explains: y The obvious one, interrupting the speaker in mid-sentence, is easy to avoid: just wait until the other has stopped talking before you start. (And don t ever say, Have you finished? You might as well say right out that he s a windy numskull and you thought he d never run down. ) y The other kind of interruption, equally culpable, is often prefaced by That reminds me or By the way. Such phrases usually signal a digression or irrelevancy. 2. Even if everyone observed these rules, telephones, doorbells and new arrivals would always conspire to interrupt you in mid-point. y When you are interrupted, the politest thing to do is the hardest thing: shut up. Don t go back and finish a story-don t excavate a buried point-unless you are asked to do so. 3. Don t talk to only one person when conversing in a group. y This leaves the others dangling and awkward on the periphery. 4. Don t engage in one-upping. y The one upper not only makes a lousy friend, he also makes a highly annoying conversationalist. y The one upper believes that his stories show his superiority; on the contrary, they reveal his naked insecurity. 5. Don t overshare. y This instant unburdening reads as desperation and repels people faster than water off a duck s back. y You have to cultivate a little mystery-leave people intrigued and wanting more. 6. And at the same time, you don t want to dig too deeply into the personal life of other people either. 4 Things Not to Say 1. Am I boring you? y An embarrassing question-the person will never answer no, it comes off a bit accusatory (the person will feel as though they were looking at you with an uninterested expression), and even if you weren t previously boring them, the power of suggestion will plant the idea in their head that the conversation had been rather tedious after all. Huh? What? Say What? Eh? (the latter is okay if you use an ear-horn). y Too abrupt. The speaker will feel awkward. Actually, you should say between you and me, not between you and I.

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3.

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If grammatical mistakes make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, you may find it difficult to restrain yourself from correcting the errors of others. But a conversation is no time to be pedantic.

Stop me if I ve told you this story before No one will ever stop you. So your question just prolongs the time they have to act like they ve never heard the story of the time you almost ran over Barry Switzer while he was riding his fixed gear bicycle near the OU dorms.

The Number One Rule of Conversation: Be Natural y y y As with most matters of etiquette and sociality, once you understand the ground rules, stop thinking about them so much and let things flow. It doesn t matter how polite you are if you come off as a phony. Drop the affectations. Talk about things that you re comfortable talking about; use words that you re comfortable using.

How to make People feel welcome

y Whether you are having company at your house or a guest in someone else's it is important to make people feel welcome. A mark of a friendly, kind, warm person is their ability to make others feel at easy and valued.

Many people feel intimidated when meeting someone new or going somewhere with a lot of poeple. As a fiendly person, you can make the experience easier for them.

1. The first step to making other people feel welcome is monitoring your facial expressions. Insecure or uncomfortable people tend to analyze the facial expressions of the people around them, and can easily interpret a regular facial expression as a hostile one. 2. Next, take note of your body language. You should look open and friendly, not standoffish. Body language is a very important form of communication. 3. Finally, take an interest in the person. Someone is much more likely to feel welcomed if the people around them are friendly. Start a conversation, ask questions, and truly listen to the answers. The following are some guidelines for making social introductions: 1 The secret to knowing the order of social introductions is to remember the rule Identify the king (or ruler) of the situation. 2 The most important person (ruler) is the eldest woman in the group. When introducing her you say her full name first.

3 If no women are in the group, the first name spoken is that of the eldest man or most distinguished man. If you aren t sure of their ages, or if their ages are the same, introduce the man you don t know as well to the one you know better. Say the name of the person you know better first. 4 Formal and informal social introductions are done by gender. Traditionally in social situations, men are introduced to women ( Mrs. Rich, I d like to introduce Mr. Jones. ). Today it can be done either way. 5 By tradition and out of respect, the younger or less important person is introduced to the older and more important one, regardless of sex. The younger person s name is stated second. For example: Aunt Ruth, I want you to meet my roommate, Mimi Carey. Mimi, this is my aunt Mrs. Rich. 6 If you re in a business situation, gender doesn t matter; determine who to introduce based on pecking order the ruler is the highest-ranking person in the group. For example, when introducing your father to your college professor, the professor is the ruler, and you say his name first. 7 Always give a last name when introducing people to each other. 8 Try to introduce people by the names and titles they prefer. In the case of a doctor or someone in the clergy or military, it s usual to include a title in the introduction. Including the title will let people know the proper way to address the person. 9 Introduce family members by their full names unless they request otherwise. The relationship between the introducer and the family member is often mentioned. When introducing others to family members, the other person s name is generally said first ( Carlos, I d like you to meet my brother, Edward Prince ) if the people being introduced are of roughly the same age and rank. But as a sign of respect, an older family member is named first ( Granny, I d like to introduce Mr. John Silver. John, this is my grandmother, Mrs. Mack ). 10 When introducing your college friends to your parents, you would use your friend s full names, but you probably wouldn t introduce your parents by theirs. You can simply say, These are my parents. Or if they have a last name that differs from yours, you can say, These are my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Doe. 11 When you share last names, introduce your spouse and offspring to adults by first names only. When introducing your husband to a friend, what you say is, I d like you to meet my husband Joe (or Joe Doe). Never refer to him as Mr. Doe or Dr. Doe. The same formula applies when your husband introduces you. 12 When introducing yourself to others, always give your full name and tell them something (but not too much) about yourself. Be sure to ask them questions too. 13 Extend your hand for a handshake when introducing yourself or being introduced. Squeeze the other person s hand firmly, yet gently, and grasp the entire hand. 14 In social situations, the host(s) should try to jump-start the conversation between the people they ve just introduced. This can be done by trying to find some topic the people they ve just introduced have in common.

The Basics
y y y The most important thing to remember is to be courteous and thoughtful to the people around you,regardless of the situation. Consider other people s feelings,stick to your convictions as diplomatically as possible. Address conflict as situation-related,rather than person-related. Apologize when you step on toes. You can t go too far wrong if you stick with the basics you learned in Kindergarten.

The following are guidelines and tips that we ve found helpful for dealing with people in general,in work environments,and in social situations.

It s About People
y y y y y y Talk and visit with people. Don t differentiate by position or standing within the company. Secretaries and janitorial staff actually have tremendous power to help or hinder your career. Make it a point to arrive ten or fifteen minutes early and visit with people that work near you. When you re visiting another site,linger over a cup of coffee and introduce yourself to people nearby. Keep notes on people. They help you create a people database with names,addresses,phone numbers,birthdays,spouse and children s names;whatever depth of information is appropriate for your situation.

Peers and Subordinates

y y y y y y y y Impressing the boss isn t enough. even in this tight job market,40% of new management hires fail in their first jobs. The key reason for their failure is their inability to build good relationships with peers and subordinates. Mergers and acquisitions add to class mixing, causing a former competitor to become a co-worker overnight. This can make things awkward if you treat people differently depending on their corporate standing. If you show respect and courtesy to everyone,regardless of position or company,you avoid discomfort or damaging your chances in any unexpected turn of events. Having a consistent demeanor improves your credibility. Even the people at the top will begin to suspect your motives if you treat VIPs with impeccable courtesy and snap at counter clerks.

Superiors
y y The only thing you owe your boss above and beyond what you owe peers and subordinates is more information. Unobtrusively be sure he or she knows what you re doing,is alerted as early as possible to issues that may arise,and is aware of outcomes and milestones.

Never surprise your boss.

It goes without saying that you should speak well of him or her within and outside the company,and give him or her the benefit of the doubt.

International Business
y y y The information in this article is presented from a Western point of view. It is important to note that etiquette in other cultures requires a bit of adaptation and flexibility. If you re travelling on business to a foreign destination,or have visitors here,it is a good idea to learn as much as you can about the culture they are coming from and make appropriate allowances.

Items to consider:

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Language (make an effort to learn theirs if possible,but don t pretend to be fluent unless you have many years of study under your belt!) Time zones Working schedules Holidays Food customs (table manners,use of implements,etc.)

The Workplace
y y The remainder of this article is divided into two sectionsThe Workplace and Social Situations. The division is really for convenience only,since with less formal workplaces and more business seeming to take place in social situations now than ever before,the lines get blurred.

Meetings
y If a subject is important enough to call a meeting,be considerate of the participants time and ensure that it is well prepared.

Communicate beforehand-

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The objective The expected duration ( Be sure to observe the ending time scrupulously,unless everyone agrees to continue.) Items expected to be discussed

Often overlookedy y be sure to THANK meeting members for their time and participation,and demonstrate (in the minutes or written record,at least) how their contributions helped meet the objective of the meeting. Distribute minutes or some written record (no matter how simple the meeting) to all attendees and absentees,with concise but complete descriptions of decisions made and including action items.

The Phone
y y y y y y Always return calls. Even if you don t yet have an answer to the caller s question,call and explain what you re doing to get the requested information,or direct them to the appropriate place to get it. If you re going to be out,have someone pick up your calls or at a minimum,have your answering system tell the caller when you ll be back in the office and when they can expect a call back. When you initiate a call and get a receptionist or secretary,identify yourself and tell them the basic nature of your call. When you re on the receiving end of a phone call,identify yourself and your department. Answer the phone with some enthusiasm or at least warmth,even if you ARE being interrupted,the person on the other end doesn t know that! Make sure your voice mail system is working properly and doesn t tell the caller that the mailbox is full,transfer them to nowhere,or ring indefinitely. Address technical and system problems- a rude machine or system is as unacceptable as a rude person. Personalize the conversation. Many people act in electronic media (including phone,phone mail,and email) the way they act in their cars.

E-mail
Make the subject line specific. Think of the many messages you re received with the generic subject line, Hi or Just for you. Don t forward messages with three pages of mail-to information before they get to the content. In the message you forward,delete the extraneous information such as all the Memo to, subject,addresses,and date lines. When replying to a question,copy only the question into your e-mail,then provide your response. Address and sign your e-mails. Although this is included in the To and From sections,remember that you re communicating with a person,not a computer. DON T TYPE IN ALL CAPS. IT S TOO INTENSE,and you appear too lazy to type properly.

Interruptions
Avoid interruptions (of singular or group work sessions,meetings,phone calls,or even discussions) if at all possible. Most management folks feel free to interrupt informal working sessions of subordinates,but need to realize that they may be interrupting a brainstorming session that will produce the company s next big success. Always apologize if you must interrupt a conversation,meeting,or someone s concentration on a task. Quickly state the nature of what you need,and show consideration for the fact that you are interrupting valuable work or progress.

Guests,Consultants and New Employees

If you have a new employee,guest,or consultant working at your company for a day,week,or longer,be sure that that person has the resources and information that he or she needs to do the job. This isn t just courtesy,it s good business,since time spent flailing around looking for things is embarrassing to the consultant and expensive for your company. Give a consultant or guest the same type of workspace as an employee at your company in a similar role. A guest from a regulatory agency will tend to want to know what s really going on in the company. By treating him or her like everyone else,(instead of isolating them in a plush office in a far wing,for example) will raise less suspicion and enable them to get the information they need more efficiently. Appoint an employee to be a buddy to a guest or consultant to ensure that they are introduced around, shown the ropes, and have someone to help resolve little logistical problems that may arise and cause non-productivity or embarrassment.

Appreciation/Credit
Always pass along credit and compliments to EVERYONE who made a contribution to the effort. Speak well of your coworkers and always point out their accomplishments to any interested party. Appearing to have taken the credit in a superiors or customers eyes is the surest way to sabotage a relationship with a coworker.

Dress/Appearance
It can be insulting to your coworkers or clients to show a lack of concern about your appearance. Being wrinkled,unshaven,smelly or unkempt communicates (intentionally or not) that you don t care enough about the situation,the people or the company to present yourself respectably. If in doubt,always err on the side of conservative. If you think jeans may be OK for a social event but aren t sure,show up in ironed khakis and a nice golf shirt. Women s clothing is a bit more complicated,but again,err on the side of conservative and dressy. Always practice impeccable grooming (even in a jeans environment!)

Social Settings
Many impressions formed during a party,dinner or golf game can make or break a key business arrangement,whether or not business is discussed directly. Always carry business cards. Arrive at a party at the stated time or up to 30 minutes later. (Not earlier than the stated time,under any circumstances.)

Introductions
Before an event,use your address book or your people database to refresh your memory about the people you are likely to meet. If you forget someone s name,you can sometimes cover by introducing a person you do know first. Do you know my Joe Smith,one of our account reps? which will usually get the unknown person to introduce him or herself. If this doesn t work,an admission that you ve had a mental block is preferable to obvious flailing around.