Laure Jeanpierre

Mr Gardner

Grody goat

8 Fev. 2023

Benefits of forgiveness

In life, we are confronted with being hurt by one or more people. Sometimes

physically and sometimes mentally. In this kind of situation, the person who has

been hurt, becomes angry, and the person who has hurt, apologizes and asks to

be forgiven. The question everyone asks is "does forgiving bring something

good?" Some people would say yes, it is good for mental health and it will also

benefit the person being forgiven. Indeed, how easy it is to forgive someone

depends on the situation and the act they have done. Nevertheless, being able to

forgive helps to feel good mentally, to be healthy and to be happier.

When we talk about forgiving someone or not, there are 2 different types of

people. The one who says that yes, we must forgive, that it is a good thing. And

there is the other who says absolutely not, that forgiving is useless and that it is

not a good thing. Some people say that forgiving doesn't make you feel better

because according to them, when someone hurts another person, it's not

because they ask to be forgiven that the hurt person feels better. In some

situations, when it's not something too serious, a "I'm so sorry " is enough to fix

the problem. Or if the two people involved discuss it with each other and decide

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to work things out. But even doing that doesn't mean the person who forgives

feels better mentally. And 58% of Americans believe that there are situations

where forgiveness is impossible, such as in the case of murder (Fetzer Institute).

So these people say that it is not always good to forgive.

Other people say the opposite. Forgiveness is beneficial, especially to the person

who forgives but also to the person who is forgiven. Everyone has heard of

families whose child was killed in a car accident with a drunk driver. And yet,

some families in this situation decide to forgive the drunk driver who killed their

child. It is a "murder" and it must be very difficult to forgive. But the reason they

forgive is because they believe that forgiving is moving forward. And by moving

on, they feel better mentally and feel more peaceful and happier. A study also

found that 62% of American adults say that they need more forgiveness in their

personal lives. (Fetzer Institute). This means that more people think that

forgiveness is a good and necessary thing.

People who say that forgiveness is not a useful thing often use the argument that

"just because you forgive, doesn't mean you're more hurt or "healed.

And indeed, to illustrate this, there is a quote written by Audrey Bresson (see

figure 1):

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( fig 1 ) Bresson, Audrey, A mediter. AudreyBresson.fr

This quote is written in French but it says:

- "take this plate and throw it on the ground"

- "Done."

- "Is it broken?"

- "Yes"

- "Ask her to forgive you"

- "I'm sorry"

- "Is it fixed?"

- "No."

- "Do you understand now?"

With this quote, we understand what people against forgiveness think. According to

them, it is not because we forgive a person, that it fixes what he did, that we aren’t hurt

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or sad anymore. According to them, forgiveness is useless because it doesn't repair the

bad acts. So this quote makes a metaphor when it talks about a broken plate on the

ground instead of a hurt person.

Despite many such quotes, there are still people who think otherwise. Forgiveness is

good for your health, both mental and physical. And in some cases it is even necessary.

In fact, everyone has to forgive at least once. In a couple, self or in society. ( See figure

2):

( fig 2 ) John Templeton foundation. “The benefits of forgiveness.” John Templeton

foundation, September 2020.

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This image shows that forgiveness is present and can impact different things. In

relationships, self and in society. There is even a part that shows that science is

interested in it by giving different ways to forgive scientifically tested.

There is also a psychotherapist, Heather Hahns, who explains in an interview that

holding onto anger can have negative and devastating effects on our health.

In the video named "the power of forgiveness" Heather explains that holding onto

resentment inside of us can have an impact on our mental health by creating stress,

depression,... In saying this, she confirms that not forgiving or holding anger inside can

be detrimental to mental health. An article from the John Hopkins Medicine website also

confirms what the psychotherapist is saying. The John Hopkins article talks about the

negative effects of not forgiving people and holding onto anger. This article also talks

about the fact that staying in conflict for a long time also increases blood pressure which

is not good for your health.

I think forgiving people who hurt us is a good thing in most cases. In some comments

that were posted under the picture N*1 (fig1), a person said "Someone who is sincere

and asks for an apology will do everything possible to fix his or her mistake and pick up

the pieces". And if you look at the percentage of Americans, more than half think this is

a good thing. However, there are still some situations where it is more difficult to forgive.

Like cheating or worse. But I think that if some parents, after the loss of a child, can

forgive the "murderer" of their child, we can forgive everything. Forgiveness will bring

benefits to both sides. The one who forgives will feel better because he will have

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released his anger and he will be able to move on, and the one who is forgiven will stop

feeling guilty and therefore will feel better and will be able to learn from his mistakes.

In conclusion on this subject, it was noted, statistically, that forgiveness is a good thing,

for the person, for his health. But also because it allows the other person to learn from

his mistakes. By forgiving, we improve our mental health, and we make ourselves

happier. But it's not an easy thing to do. So if I had to give advice, it would be to discuss

it with the person, to try to understand. And try to move forward, to get over it. And for

that, what better way than to forgive.

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 Work cited

“...”. Johns Hopkins Medicine, 1 Nov. 2021,

9NEWS. “ Mental Health Monday: the power of forgiveness”. Youtube, May 30th 2022,

John Templeton foundation. “The benefits of forgiveness.” John Templeton foundation,

September 2020,

Bresson, Audrey. “A mediter”. AudreyBresson,

Fetzer Institute