AHIST 1401-01 Art History - AY2022-T4

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AHIST 1401-01 - AY2022-T4 / 19 May - 25 May /
Written Assignment Unit 7 / My submission

Written Assignment Unit 7

My submission
Instructions for submission

In an essay, discuss how both Matisse’s Bonheur de Vivre (Joy of Life) and Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers. Refer to specific visual references in your discussion.

Paul Cezanne's The Large Bathers

Your essay should be a minimum of 400 words.

Essays should be well-written and organized and contain an introduction and conclusion. Please proofread your work for spelling, syntax and
grammatical errors. All sources used must be properly cited in a works cited list.

Written Assignment Unit 7

submitted on Tuesday, 24 May 2022, 5:06 AM

My Dear Peer,

Kindly find attached my submitted work in PDF format (Writing Assignment unit 7.pdf). 

Many thanks in advance for your assessment; looking forward to reading and learning from your comments.

Best regards, 

Written Assignment Unit 7.pdf

Assessment
Grade: 86 of 90

Assessment form
Aspect 1
Assignment Requirements
Did the student discuss how Matisse’s Bonheur de Vivre (Joy of Life) can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers?
Grade for Aspect 1
9 / 10

Comment for Aspect 1

Aspect 2
Assignment Requirements
Did the student discuss how Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers?
Grade for Aspect 2
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 2

Aspect 3
Assignment Requirements
Did the student refer to specific visual references in their essay?
Grade for Aspect 3
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 3

Aspect 4
Assignment Requirements
Did the student use proper art vocabulary learned in this unit?
Grade for Aspect 4
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 4

Aspect 5
Format Requirements
Is the essay at least 400 words?
Grade for Aspect 5
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 5

Aspect 6
Format Requirements
Does the essay include an introduction and conclusion?
Grade for Aspect 6
9 / 10

Comment for Aspect 6

Aspect 7
Format Requirements
Are the student’s references properly cited?
Grade for Aspect 7
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 7

 Aspect 8
Quality Requirements
Is the essay well-written, with few grammar, syntax or spelling errors?
Grade for Aspect 8

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 8

Aspect 9
Quality Requirements
Is the essay well-organized, easy to read, with clear sentences and paragraph transitions?
Grade for Aspect 9
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 9

Aspect 10
Quality Requirements
Is the essay written in the student’s own words and not copied from the internet? You may check the essay
for plagiarism at: www.plagiarismchecker.com.
Grade for Aspect 10
5 / 10

Comment for Aspect 10

I found some copy and paste without citations, like:

https://www.definitions.net/definition/les+demoiselles+d%27avignon#:~:text=This%20proto%2Dcubist%20work%20is,pa
inter's%20closest%20associates%20and%20friends.

Overall feedback

Hi! Good work, but it contains some ideas taken from non-cited sources.
Assessment
Grade: 71 of 90

Assessment form
Aspect 1
Assignment Requirements
Did the student discuss how Matisse’s Bonheur de Vivre (Joy of Life) can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers?
Grade for Aspect 1

5 / 10

Comment for Aspect 1

You included some important points about Matisse’s painting however I found most of the information that you listed as
unnecessary as it does not talk about the influence of the image of the Bathers on it. That is why I cannot give you much
scores here.

Aspect 2
Assignment Requirements
Did the student discuss how Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers?
Grade for Aspect 2
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 2

The description here was great but again, I feel like you’ve elaborated on unnecessary things that could’ve been omitted.
Nonetheless, good job.

Aspect 3
Assignment Requirements
Did the student refer to specific visual references in their essay?
Grade for Aspect 3

5 / 10

Comment for Aspect 3

You were successful in talking about the visual characteristics of Picasso’s painting however, some important points of
Matisse’s painting such as the landscape painted as a stage were missing. Therefore I cannot give you full scores here.

Aspect 4
Assignment Requirements
Did the student use proper art vocabulary learned in this unit?
Grade for Aspect 4
 10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 4

In terms of art vocabulary, I think you’ve done a good work in including as many as you could. Good job!

Aspect 5
Format Requirements
Is the essay at least 400 words?
Grade for Aspect 5

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 5

You adequately met the word count of the assignment. Well done!

Aspect 6
Format Requirements
Does the essay include an introduction and conclusion?
Grade for Aspect 6
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 6

Your introduction and conclusion were great. Keep it up!

Aspect 7
Format Requirements
Are the student’s references properly cited?
Grade for Aspect 7

9 / 10

Comment for Aspect 7

The format of the references are good but they are not listed in alphabetical order. That is why I cannot give you full scores
here.

Aspect 8
 Quality Requirements
Is the essay well-written, with few grammar, syntax or spelling errors?
Grade for Aspect 8

9 / 10

Comment for Aspect 8

In terms of grammatical errors, you didn’t have many. I’m giving you 9/10 only because I think your text could be shorter
and to the point rather than adding so much information that does not contribute to the answer.

Aspect 9
Quality Requirements
Is the essay well-organized, easy to read, with clear sentences and paragraph transitions?
Grade for Aspect 9

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 9

In terms of organization, your paper was great. Well done!

Aspect 10
Quality Requirements
Is the essay written in the student’s own words and not copied from the internet? You may check the essay
for plagiarism at: www.plagiarismchecker.com.
Grade for Aspect 10

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 10

The essay seems to be written in your own words. Well done!

Overall feedback

Overall, you’ve done a good job on your assignment for this week. Please benefit from my bits of advice:

1. Please try to include all APA formatting elements such as headers and page numbers. Also please note that the date on the title
page needs to be the submission deadline i.e. always a Wednesday. 

2. Please note that the headings need to be centered. Please refrain from adding information that can confuse the reader. Only
add information that answer the question. Most of the information about the image of the Bathers was not needed. A brief
description of this painting woudve been enough.

 3. Please re-check your work. Make sure your references are written in alphabetical order. Moreover, our instructor has informed
us several times to not use Wikipedia as a source to answer essays. Please abide by this. 

Hope you will benefit from all my friendly advice. Best of luck :)

Assessment
Grade: 78 of 90

Assessment form
Aspect 1
Assignment Requirements
Did the student discuss how Matisse’s Bonheur de Vivre (Joy of Life) can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers?
Grade for Aspect 1

8 / 10

Comment for Aspect 1

Aspect 2
Assignment Requirements
Did the student discuss how Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon can be simultaneously seen as
inspired by and breaking free of Paul Cézanne’s, The Large Bathers?
Grade for Aspect 2
8 / 10

Comment for Aspect 2

Aspect 3
Assignment Requirements
Did the student refer to specific visual references in their essay?
Grade for Aspect 3

9 / 10

Comment for Aspect 3

Aspect 4
Assignment Requirements
Did the student use proper art vocabulary learned in this unit?
Grade for Aspect 4

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 4

Aspect 5
Format Requirements
Is the essay at least 400 words?
Grade for Aspect 5
10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 5

Aspect 6
Format Requirements
Does the essay include an introduction and conclusion?
Grade for Aspect 6

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 6

Aspect 7
Format Requirements
Are the student’s references properly cited?
Grade for Aspect 7

10 / 10

Comment for Aspect 7

 Aspect 8
Quality Requirements
Is the essay well-written, with few grammar, syntax or spelling errors?
Grade for Aspect 8
9 / 10

Comment for Aspect 8

Aspect 9
Quality Requirements
Is the essay well-organized, easy to read, with clear sentences and paragraph transitions?
Grade for Aspect 9

8 / 10

Comment for Aspect 9

Aspect 10
Quality Requirements
Is the essay written in the student’s own words and not copied from the internet? You may check the essay
for plagiarism at: www.plagiarismchecker.com.
Grade for Aspect 10

7 / 10

Comment for Aspect 10

there were a few plagiarised contents to a tune of around 14% of the work

Overall feedback

student did wel with a few issues regarding the sources.

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