Become Unbreakable Challenge 2023

🔥 Day 4 Notes
Tony Robbins Session 1 Notes

🔥 Most people go into a relationship expecting to get something when you’re

supposed to go into relationships to give something.

🔥 The purpose of a relationship is to magnify human emotion.

🔥 The quality of your life is really the quality of your relationships.
🔥 Unless you’re willing to take 100% responsibility for what’s going on in your
relationship, things won’t improve.

🔥 There are labels we put on people and patterns we create and if we notice those,
things can change.

🔥 Money doesn’t change people, it just magnifies what’s already there.

🔥 Why is more important than how or reasons come first, and the how comes second.
🔥 The biggest challenge that makes people's lives and relationships not work is called
stacking. That’s when we’re reacting to things happening many memories of events
happening and focusing on that and making it the dominating force or story.

🔥 The state of your relationship is the state you bring to it.

🔥 There are two types of communication: a loving response and a cry for help.
🔥 The greatest gift you can bring to a relationship is when you want to be better for
them and yourself.

🔥 The law of familiarity: if you’re around anything enough, you have a tendency to take
it for granted.

🔥 Expectations destroy relationships.

🔥 Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life will change at that
moment!

🔥 95% of success or failure in relationships is selection!

🔥 Not who you select to be with, but what parts of yourself you select to bring to the
relationship.

🔥 We humans are in what is called a cybernetic loop, which means what I do affects
you and what you do affects me.

🔥 State is emotion and emotion comes from meaning.

🔥 The human mind distorts, deletes and generalizes life experiences.
🔥 When it does this, you need to catch yourself.
🔥 What makes a relationship work is things in common. What makes a relationship
passionate is differences.

🔥 People shift blame to one of 3 places: People, events or themselves (which is not
being accountable).

🔥 Perfection is the lowest standard on earth, it makes you beat yourself up because
you’re never going to be perfect!
S.E.W.

🔥
(Inarguable)

🔥
1 → Sensation

🔥
2 → Emotion
3 → What You… What or Not Want

S.E.W.

🔥
5 Emotions

🔥
1 → Sad

🔥
2 → Mad (Angry)
3 → Scared (Fearful)

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(The first 3 emotions happen when we’re not getting what we want)

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4 → Glad (Happy/Loving)
5 → Excited

🔥 3 U’s for Feminine Energies

→🔥 UNSEEN
→🔥 UNDERSTOOD
→🔥 UNSAFE (Calm & Connected)

🔥 3 C’s for Masculine Energies

→🔥 CRITICIZED
→🔥 CLOSED
→🔥 CONTROLLED

🔥 If your communication is a ratio of 5:1 positive, you’ll have a stable relationship.

Ideally, you’ll have a 20:1 positive ratio. If your ratio is 3:1 or 2:1 you’ll end up in divorce.

🔥 What would you rate yourself in your current and past relationships on a scale of
1-10?
The Four Horseman & Antidotes

🔥 CRITICISM
Criticizing your partner is different than voicing what you are feeling

🔥
↓↓↓
STACK FOUNDATION & ADMIRATION SPEAK IN UNARGUABLES
Talk about feelings using “I” statements and expire positive needs

🔥 CONTEMPT
Disrespect, Superiority, Sarcasm,
Cynicism, Body Language

🔥
↓↓↓
APPRECIATION
Build a culture of appreciation, remind yourself of your partner's qualities. Find
gratitude for positive actions.

🔥 DEFENSIVENESS
Making excuses, playing the victim, not owning our mistakes, reversing blame

🔥
↓↓↓
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Accept your partner's perspective and offer an apology for any wrongdoing

🔥 STONEWALLING
Withdrawal, shutting in, closing down, tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging
in distracting behaviours

🔥
↓↓↓
CHANGE YOUR STATE/SELF SOOTHING
Take a break and spend time doing something psychologically soothing or distracting.

🔥 Do these exercises from a good STATE!

🔥 When we identify a trifecta of emotions that are affected, we’ve identified something
we can change even more.

🔥 Who you do need to be as a person to attract who you want in your life?
🔥 Recognize that you are an extension of the love you want to experience in the world.
🔥 Sometimes we’re so far in longing we miss the opportunities that are in front of us.
🔥 Being playful to break the patterns that are creating problems is a great way to start
creating new rituals to help your relationships.

🔥 Depolarization is when one partner or both changes their energy to please the other.
🔥 In a beautiful relationship you never with love try to punish the other person, because
when you withhold love, you punish yourself. And so many people have been trained to
withhold love when their loved ones behave in certain ways.

🔥 Innocently, what destroys love is maybe giving up too soon and expecting it or your
partner to look different than what it really is.

🔥 My parents were such a remarkable example of persistence and staying with each
other and also finding the laughter and the beauty and the playfulness in their gestures.

🔥 The ideal love is actually having a safe harbour together and knowing that no matter
what’s happening in the external world, what challenges we have, whatever’s difficult,
that with a willingness, a love and kindness, you can rise above and make it through
anything!

🔥 No matter what the behaviour, you can catch yourself.

🔥 What destroys a relationship is when we fix on identities.
🔥 If a person feels something or someone is more important than the relationship, it’s
🔥 It’s not the grand big experience, it’s the small moments life offers us, it doesn’t
doomed.

mean that it’s perfect, it means that there’s a space where in the beauty and mess, it’s all
possible.

🔥 If you know this person’s nature, the purity of what you fell in love with, there’s beauty
in that.

🔥 They saw a relationship where two people were totally committed to one another
and loving each other, as opposed to they’re loving the child every moment. When you’re
giving your child what they want every moment, they’re not prepared for their future
because they think that’s what life is because they expect their partner to do everything
they want when they want it and they're mad when they’re not getting it.
🔥 You have to get to the place where you decide to commit to making your relationship
great!

🔥 Sage observes that her daughter is rejected by others children when showing
affection and shares that we are being modelled by our children and we are energetic
beings and children feel and sense that.

🔥 We are talking about relationships but this is all about being and extension of love. It
is our nature to extend love and somehow culturally this extension of love can get lost in
translation.

🔥 It starts with an extension of healing ourselves. Heal your relationship with yourself
first just like putting the oxygen on yourself on a plane first if the plane is going down so
that you CAN rescue others and don’t die first.

🔥 When you see or hear something that you identify with when in a story, it’s probably
because it’s something you see in yourself and identify with and perhaps want to
amplify.

Day → 4 VIP Q&A Session:

🔥
Attracting Love/Abundance

🔥
Make a list of what you want/don’t want
Write down what you’ve gotta become to attract that into your life

🔥
The Six Human Needs

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Certainty

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Uncertainty / Variety

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Significance

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Love & Connection

🔥
Growth
Contribution

🔥 Relationships break down by giving meaning to stressors in life and both partners
responding in their feminine or masculine and then there’s polarity.

🔥 Our life is controlled by our decisions, change your story, change your life!
🔥 Don’t give F-Up! Love’s worth it! You’re worth it!