Against all Odds

MARY JANE ESCOTAN

Mangguangan Integarted School

I thought, poor people like us can’t go school. We can’t buy school supplies
and can’t afford the expenses and fees of school. If we could have budget, we think
properly where to give priority first, is it to buy things for school, to pay the fees in
school or to buy food for our family.

I always had a dream to become professional someday, to lift up the life of my

family and have the freedom to live the life as it fullest. Gusto jud ko muhuman ug
skwela bisan paman nagkalisod me sa mga bayrunon ug sa mga butang.butang.
maningkamot jud ko muhuman. Difficult times have helped me to understand better
than before. I always put in mind the saying of Zahid Abas “ How beautiful life is in
every way and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no
importance whatsoever”

Yes! I do questioned God, how unfair he is and how being bad he is to us. I
wander if is there really a God or is it just a hearsay? People can eat delicious food,
why can’t we? People can live comfortably like they can watch movies as they want,
they can go to the mall as they wish, they have all the things they want even if it is
not necessary and then why can’t we?. But as I continually walk into the path of life
with the guidance of God I do realize that life “ Life is all balance. You don’t always
need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it is perfectly okay and absolutely
necessary”.

I sometimes define rich people as fortunate and us as unfortunate but you

know what okay lng man d ai ang amua kinabuhi karun kay we know how to live a
simple and conteneted life but still I promised to become rich someday heheheh.

I walk 6-7 kilometers and sometime without having breakfast just to attend
classes. I study hard and always do my best to make all the task, activities,
assignments, and all the necessary things need to be done for school. I go to school
without meal, face the bullies and forget the concerns and unpleasant moments
happened at home. When I lost my sister, I lost someone who I can get strength too.
It is very hard for me as a young kid to encounter problems like quarrel at home and
financial needs. Cge pjud kahubog akoa papa hay naku!. Naa toy kausa na
nakaingon najud ko kay mama na muundang naku skwela kay para mutabang sa
ilaha. Naa pakoy manghod ug dli ko gusto na magsuffer pod sila tungod sa atoang
kahimtang karun. May nalang kay naa koy mama ug papa na masinabtanon ug
narealize nil ana mas better jud ang makahuman skwela ang mga anak for better
future mao to Mama insisted to continue my studies and set aside all the problems
and let them settle it. My papa just said just thrive hard, put hardwork in your dreams
and we will be here just to support you. Nakahilak ko ato ug ma jud to na moment
akoang gigunitan para magpadayon.

I slowly learned how to handle stress and manange life as it is and head on
beyond simply surviving and knows into a state of thriving. I remember back time,
when I was grade 5 sir Ronald Ambrocio as he saw me in recess time without
anything to eat and drink he offers me some and ask me why I don’t have anything
and I just smiled and told him I don’t have anything sir. Strating that day if he has
some extra he will share me some and always motivate me bu his word of wisdom
about life and struggles. Also, sir Reymart offer me a pair of slippers and many
teachers that shared me with inspirational and motivational words. Though I felt
ashamed, I don’t want to cause a scene or beg for anything but I realize God really
provides and people are so nice and kind and I am very thankful in that time.

I also trained myself how to endure pain and stress. Dili pede dapat ang
mahina. I need to be strong and motivated. But life really challenge me to become
determined, my brother died and that cause a lot of trauma in my life. I really do
missed my brother, I treat him like my son because I was the one who gave care and
spent a lot of time to him and in a sudden he was taken by our almighty. I
experienced being depress and hopeless, so many whys and questions wandering in
my mind. My other was so sad and that caused her to be easily pissed and get mad
with everyone. Argument between my parents got worst. I thought that time my
dreams are done.

After all of the inconvenience and unexpected round of my journey, I slowly

gained my inspiration to move forward and move on with our life. I met my teachers
in grade 6 who are very smart and talented that I really adore. There is a time that I
sit down watching some activities in school just wandering and suddenly these two
teacher maam Sharon Ricaforte and maam Chisa Rada sit beside me and gets
some words in me. As we have our conversation they share how they come up with
their life and they’re struggle in life which maybe I can say similar to mine. I was
enlightened and that time I promised again to work hard for my dreams.

Its like living in hell as I start my journey becoming a high school students
here in Manguangan Integrated School. My moms behavior got worts and my father
doesn’t have time for us as he focused in his work. No one at home that cares for us.
I cant also blame my sister why she always mad at our mama. Our allowance is not
enough and most of the time we don’t have any even meals. And to provide some I
accept some work like writing, making assignments or any task for other people
exchange for money. And at home I take care of my brother. I am so just grateful
that God really pour me with intelligence and strength that I can do and manage
many things.

Although my parents gave their words to me that they will support my studies,
we really cannot afford things even how much hard work of my papa does. God
really is merciful, he provide me a solution how I can get through with my studies. He
sends uncle to my life. My parents decided to let me be with my uncle together with
his famly in Nabunturan where I learned a lot of things. His wife is no kind that she
taught me how to do some sort of things that I can have profit and understands my
situation well. And in that time I used to have a life where its not that kind of simple.

But time pass by and life is not always in a good state. My uncle told me that
they will go somewhere else and they cannot continue to let me live with them so
they brought me back to my parents. Again my trauma and wandering is in my head.
I want to finish my studies and achieve my dreams but now how?. Still bringing the
saying of Zahid Abas “ How beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that
one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever” and added with the
saying “ If God’s brings you to it, he will bring you through it.” Living without enough
supply, enough money and enough materials is so damn hard. I just always pray and
ask the guidance of God. So I contune with my journey.

One day, I received an news that mom has been very ill and can’t make to
stand. I’m so nervous and go home immediately. Once I arrived, I feel at ease when I
saw mom standing. I stay for days and notice that mom illness has been worse. So I
promised that when the class is over, I will be going back. I take care of her and
bring her to the meditation. I was full of hopes that mom will be going back to be
healthy. That time, we celebrate her birthday and she’s really happy. Weeks passed
and I notice our younger sister Michaela declining her stomachache. We thought that
she was just been eating buko that we prepare at mom’s birthday. But days passed
and she continue to demand her stomach that’s why we bring her to the health
center but has been failed to do check-up because the nurse is not there. We came
back for the next day and I was so shocked when the nurse said that my sister need
to bring in the hospital. I hurriedly go but when I arrived, my sister has been not
assist that made me angry. I don’t know what to do because they say that I can’t be
her guardian to go on regional hospital so I waited my father to arrive. At 11 oclock,
we where been called to have a meal when my sister attack an convulsion and when
its stop, her breath and pulse were gone. Nurses tried their best to have her breath
back but they just leave and leave me confuse. And when they back one them just
said that my sister give-up her illness that made me burst my uncontrollable tears. I
promise to cure her heart once I have a work but she gave up. Io cant think straight
on how to said it to my mom when I know that she has a heart failure. I’m afraid to
tell them that I didn’t make her to hospital.

After my sister burial, we live at Central Mambing so that we can focus to take
care of my mother. She’s always upset and realized that its normal for a person who
has illness. Our fiesta came and we have a great time that day. My parents bond
each other and non-stop laughing is happened but it also cost ungrateful after the
joyful day. Mom illness attack and been fighting for life for a long time. The attack
happened at 12 midnight and end at 3am. I didn’t sleep that time and hoping God to
stop the pain that mom felt. Morning comes and mom was still lying. I stayed to her
side staring and hoping that she will open her eyes and she will said that she was
okay. Afternoon came and we are still trying to gave her some food to take but she
just kept saying no using her head that really made me lose of hope. Until it was
3pm, while I was checking her, I noticed that she’s already been not breathing. “ Si
mama wala na” I said to them.

We must make our decision and action carefully as it reflect to our own will at
the end. Don’t let our depression control our mind and learn to listen from others. My
mom didn’t handle her depression that cause her son/daughter live on hunger of love
and support from parents. Learn to accept mistakes and listen to the taughts of
parents, elders and even to others as they see what’s good for you. Learn to present
love and importance for all the people around you because time comes and its
unpredictable, and tha sad thing is that we can’t express our concerns for them when
it’s the time.”

After mom burial, I decided to have work since it’s a vacation. I work as a
washer of an eatery and my salary is 150 per day. I’m happy because now, I can
save money to buy our school appliances. But it didn’t go well because that time, my
father has been stop his work because he make our new home cause of an
emergency and also that time, my sister was finding school to be enrolled. So my
salary goes to them that time and my savings in my bank was used. Thankfully,
there’s an opportunity and it was a business. I was become a part of an business
MLM-Multi Level Marketing and it’s a great help to me until now because I can have
savings while I study. This type of business disagreed by others and thought it was
scam. “PUSH YOURSELF, because no one else is going to do it for you,”- the quote
that I’ve been believing so that I can strive on my own.”

“ Its okay to cry. Its okay to feel down sometimes.

Just always remember that difficulties is part of our life.

“ Use pain as a fuel to keep going because all our dreams can come
true,

if we have just courage to pursue them.”

And also, “Always true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for
everyone,”. Don’t pretend to be someone else, be proud to who you are now. Don’t
felt broke just because you are poor. Its just God has a different ways for us to be felt
that we are worthy in this world.

Now, I was a grade 12 student of Mangguangan Integrated school with my 3

siblings and been taking care of them. Its hard to take care children but its hard if
you to live without having someone who’s the reason of your hardwork. I was also
greatful to have some people who help to keep moving especially to my family. I also
want to introduce a person who’s been good to me, Maam Rose Angelie Centina.
She has a good heart and I hope she will never change. She gives me allowance,
paying my uniform and my school tuition. It’s a great help because even my father
has a work, his salary is just enough for our food and needs at home. But I’m so
thankful to have him as our father because he was continuing to work for and fight
his loneliness for us. All I want to pray is to give my family a good health always and
nothing else. My dream of being a rich person was now change, I prefer now to wait
what’s God’s plan. Only seeing my family and people around me live in comfortable
makes me the happiest.

I admit that I am not the same person a year ago. I was more confident now
and strong. I learn to accept that problems are part of our life. The only problem is
that how we deal with it. I also learn to accept instead of expect, so that I can have
fewer disappointments. Expecting too much kills our ability of being
confident.”Hardwork is a two way street. You get back exactly what you put in”. So
be aware of the action you take. Spread more love than hate. Hating doesn’t make
you at peace. Learn to love your hates. Always remember that the love of family and
the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege. Thank
God for having your family now because they are God’s gift as you are to them.
Learn to spend more time for them because life are full surprises. We don’t know
when our ends. Don’t let yourself wishing to go back at the time you can change
everything because that’s the very impossible thougt in life. Life is short and
temporary. Don’t waste it with your stress just because you cant get what you want.
Don’t worry, we all make mistakes so forget about the past & move on with life.

“Look for something positive each day, even if some days you have to look a little
harder.”