Made For Resilience and Happiness Effective Coping With Covid 19 According To Viktor E Frankl and Paul T P Wong

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Made for Resilience and Happiness Effective Coping with Covid-19 According to
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Made for Resilience and Happiness: Effective Coping with Covid-19 1
Copyright © 2020 Paul T. P. Wong

All rights reserved.
Published by INPM Press, 2020
Made for Resilience and Happiness: Effective Coping with COVID-19 According to Viktor E. Frankl
and Paul T. P. Wong is assigned ISBN 978-1-7987695-2-3
No parts of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,
without prior written permission of the copyright owner.
Book Design by Tim Yu

About the Book
This book is a response to the enormous threat to our mental health posed by COVID-19.
The pandemic has exposed both the inadequacy of our present mental health system and the inherent
limitations of human beings. The traditional way of facing disruptions with individual strengths is no
longer adequate in overcoming this global disaster, which calls for a collective and transformative
way of coping.
Dr. Paul T. P. Wong has put together this resource book based on his expertise in coping, meaning
therapy and existential positive psychology. This book shows how you can develop your innate
capabilities and coping skills to adapt well to the era of the pandemic.
This book is grounded in both scientific research and clinical experiences. It was written in an
inspirational but down-to-earth manner. The new vision of resilience and joy in the face of an
uncertain future will empower you to go through the darkest hours with optimism.
About the Author
Dr. Paul T. P. Wong is one of the world’s leaders on Viktor Frankl, and
existential positive psychology. An author, speaker, and educator, he is Professor
Emeritus at Trent University, Ontario. He is also founder and President of the
International Network on Personal Meaning (www.meaning.ca), and editor-in-
chief of International Journal of Existential Positive Psychology
(https://www.meaning.ca/journal-resources/journal/).
He is uniquely qualified to author this unusual resource book because he has personally endured and
overcome all kinds of suffering. He claims to be a constantly wounded warrior who still stands tall
and strives to create a better world. His motto is: “My mission is to bring meaning and happiness to
suffering people.” For those interested in his life story, please
visit www.drpaulwong.com/autobiography
Confession of a First Responder

This book is dedicated to all the first responders. May you find some help from reading it.
What should I do when I feel exhausted and angry while fighting a losing battle?
How can I protect myself while wrestling an invisible, deadly enemy?
Who could help me when I have lost my appetite and interest in life?
Who can restore my inner peace when I am troubled by all the suffering and death?
Who understands that I too have my problems and work stress even before the crisis?
Who knows about my own wounds, worries, and existential struggles?
When can I have some time for myself to regain my strength and sanity?
But I was born and trained for a time like this,

With my own feet, I rush where angels fear to tread,
With my own hands, I rescue people from the jaw of death.
I don’t feel like a hero, nor an angel, I am just answering my calling.
I’m still able to put aside my personal feelings and focus on saving lives,
I can still have a sense of satisfaction bringing comfort to a dying person,
but how long can I carry on before I collapse while on duty?
What keeps me going is my firm belief that there is nothing more valuable then life–
I can see it in the sad eyes of those desperately wanting to live, when they can hardly breathe–
I can hear it from those struggling with all their pain but whispering the names of their loved ones–
Since we only live once, I want to make it worthwhile for myself and everyone else.
Meanwhile, I wish I could scream, cry, laugh, or dance as a normal human being,
I wish I could have a normal family life when this pandemic is over.
But I will always say Yes to life, no matter what.
Table of Contents
Preface 5
Introduction: How a Healthy Dosage of Self-Transcendence can Overcome COVID-19 9
Chapter 1: You Were Made for Resilience and Happiness for Times Like These 17
Chapter 2: Viktor Frankl’s Cure for COVID-19 18
Chapter 3: The New Science of Suffering and Flourishing 28
Chapter 4: Coping with the Mental Health Crisis of COVID-19: A Resilience Perspective 45
Chapter 5: Lesson on Belief and Hope 53
Chapter 6: Lesson on Responsibility: You Need Relationships Now More Than Ever 60
Chapter 7: Lesson on Appreciation–The Magic Power of Gratitude: You Better Believe it! 62
Chapter 8: Lesson on Meaning 69
Chapter 9: Lesson on Mindfulness and the Power of Acceptance 78
Chapter 10: Lesson on Mental Toughness: The Defiant Power of Courage 87
Chapter 11: Effective Coping With Trauma 94
Chapter 12: Review your Past for a Better Future: The Critical Choice Points Through Life Review 95
Chapter 13: Be Your Best Because Others Depend on You 97
Chapter 14: Only Sacrificial Love Could Save Your Marriage From the COVID-19 Lockdown 99
Chapter 15: Lesson on Flexibility: Flexibility is the Mega-strategy of Surviving COVID-19 104
Chapter 16: Lesson on Happiness 106
Conclusion: How to Find Inner Peace and Life Balance in Times of Crisis 108
The Best Resilience Quotes to Fight COVID-19 118
Measures and Scales Scoring Keys 119
References 122
Endorsements 139
Preface
This book was a spontaneous response to the COVID-19 crisis. Various parts of this book just
came together organically to meet the mental health needs confronting all of us.
Firstly, it is based on my social media posting. I had been posting material on various social media
platforms concerning positive mental health in the face of COVID-19 ever since it first broke out in
Wuhan, China. Some of the most popular postings are included in this book.
Secondly, it is based on our need to understand Viktor Frankl. His name was frequently
mentioned during the interviews of various mental health experts, typically psychiatrists. They all
acknowledged Frankl as an inspirational figure, but none of them could clearly explain how Frankl’s
cure could help us get to the other side of fear and despair.
His current popularity demands a new interpretation of Frankl’s thought for the 21st century.
That is why I want to share with you some of my own understanding of Frankl and logotherapy from
many years of research (e.g., Wong, 2002; 2017a).
In my estimate, Dr. Frankl is the most optimistic existentialist. He would react very differently
to the coronavirus compared to Albert Camus. Camus believed that the plague meant life–
meaningless and absurd. In his story The Plague (1947/2020), Camus’ answer to the arbitrariness of
death and the absurdity of life was personal revolt: “Rieux becomes the incarnation of the man in
revolt. He continues to fight for his fellow human beings no matter how dire the circumstances or
elusive the chance of success” (Gloag, 2020, p. 60).
Dr. Rieux’s dedication to his patients was motivated by his moral instinct to save lives against
an evil monster in a meaningless and hostile world.
In contrast, Frankl believed that life has intrinsic meaning and our faith in meaning and love
can triumph over all evils, including the pandemic.
Thirdly, it is based on our need for existential positive psychology (PP 2.0). Rarely was a
psychiatrist claimed by both the existentialist and positive psychologists as one of their own as
Frankl. He redefined psychotherapy and positive psychology by embracing the contradictions in life. I
have devoted two decades integrating Frankl’s ideas with positive psychology research (e.g., Wong,
2007, 2016).
The power of Frankl’s ideas comes from the tension between suffering and happiness,
between self-transcendence and self-actualization. Consequently, the most important tenet of PP 2.0
is that sustainable flourishing can only be achieved on the foundation of overcoming suffering–a bold
claim that has already received considerable empirical support, as one can find in the following pages.
Indeed, COVID-19 has made it impossible to ignore the fact that death and suffering is a big
part of life. The world has become a laboratory to test out this new science of resilience and wellbeing
through the gates of suffering.
My research partners from more than 20 different countries and I are currently conducting a
multinational study of how meaning, responsibility, and existential coping can function as a buffer
against the adverse effects of COVID-19.
Fourthly, it is based on the growing acceptance of PP 2.0. Recently, several MAPP (Master of
Applied Positive Psychology) graduates from different countries have interviewed me; they wanted to
learn more about the existential positive psychology of suffering and how to apply it to their practice
of positive interventions.
Another impetus came from something I posted on the Friends of Positive Psychology listserv on
March 21, 2020. I suggested that in the new era of COVID-19, some positive psychologists might
want to work with me to develop existentially oriented measures and positive interventions. Then I
listed some of the measure I had already developed:
1. Existential Gratitude Scale

2. Life Attitudes Scale (Tragic Optimism)
3. Mature Happiness Scale
4. Responsibility Scale
5. True Grit Scale
6. Search for Meaning Scale
I concluded by emphasizing that “We need to get these instruments and related practices out
to help people cope with serious mental health issues”.
I was pleasantly surprised that Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, replied
within 5 minutes: “This is a great time for such research, in general, particularly if you have measures
before.” This was followed by numerous requests from positive psychology researchers and
practitioners. Therefore, I asked my assistant to create a webpage of all the resources I had created for
the pandemic.
Finally, it is based on the need to move beyond the medical model. I am disappointed that most of
the advice from mental health experts focused on negative emotions, such as depression and anxiety,
and only mentioned medication and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) as treatment options.
A little reflection would tell us that existential suffering inflicted by the absurdity of life
cannot be explained away by rational thinking. This is especially true during this pandemic. The
Groundhog Day filled with bad news about the rising death toll and harsh economic condition would
not go away simply because we can think clearly.
What people really need is the courage and optimism to accept our unhappiness and embrace
the absurdity of life as the foundation to co-create a better future for ourselves and for our children.
Therefore, during April of this year, I decided to quickly put together a book titled Made for
resilience and happiness to help people as part of a meaning-focused therapy (Wong, 1997) to cope
with the mental health challenges. My compassionate impulse has over-ruled my concerns for
professional pride in rushing out this resource book: I apologize for the rough edges and typos in my
writing.
The main thrust of this book is that all human beings were made for resilience and happiness.
Our genes and brain are prewired in such as way that we are capable of surviving and thriving
through all the pandemics, natural disasters, and wars since time immemorial.
History has shown that belief determines destiny. Once awakened, there is no going back; we
will take responsibility to harness the potential within us to transcend the hell of suffering and taste
the joy of heaven.
Introduction | How a Healthy Dosage of Self-Transcendence

can Overcome COVID-19
Never before have so many people experienced such a high level of stress and anxiety.
Frontline health workers and service providers are most at risk of being infected with COVID-19
because of the very nature of their work. It must be emotionally overwhelming for them to face all the
dangers and hardships each day.
So many mental health experts have given their advice on how to manage stress and cope with
mental illness. But amidst the gloom and doom, I want to advocate the optimistic view that we can
win this prolonged battle with COVID-19 on both the medical and psychological fronts. Moreover,
all of us can come out this ordeal stronger and better, especially those who fight on the frontline.
All we have to do is to be open to a new way of thinking and the new science of self-
transcendental love. Remember the Zen wisdom: Nothing new can be poured into your cup, until you
empty it of the old ideas about how to be resilient and happy.
Nothing but self-transcendence can save us! Yes,
this is the most promising solution.
This may sound absurd to you. But let me shock you
further by claiming that self-transcendence is the least
understood, least researched, but most important
spiritual virtue that can save us not only from the
pandemic, but from our inauthentic and self-destructive
way of living.
Several years ago, I wrote a paper on self-transcendence as the path to virtue, happiness and
meaning (Wong, 2016a). This paper only partially answered the following important questions:
Do you know why is self-transcendence so essential for our wellbeing?
Do know why self-transcendence can integrate the worst of you and the best of you into a healthy
whole?
Do you know why pursuing only the bright side of life without the unpleasant dark side will
lead you to be always incomplete, craving for more happiness and success but never find meaning
and fulfillment?
Thanks to COVID-19, we are now forced to pause and ponder our way of life and our future.
We may ask ourselves such questions as: What changes do I need to make in order survive this
pandemic? What can I do to create a better life when the economy is shambles? Could it be that I
have been too self-selfish, too self-absorbed?
At this crucial juncture of history, the best thing we can do is honestly look deeply into our
own soul and confront our limitations, suffering and existential crisis, as eloquently stated by Dr.
Young-Eisendrath (1996): “Honest confrontation with the deeper anguish over our ordinary human
limitations and imperfections, our inevitable loss, illness, decline and death, wakes us to the
significance of our lives.” (p. 9)
I am going to present 4 difficult steps to guide your soul searching. These steps are supported
by scientific research and may transform your life:
First we Need to Confront our own Shadow

The first step to take an honest look at ourselves
instead of blaming others or blaming society for all our
pains and miseries. I know that hardest thing to do is looking
deep into our shadow hidden behind all the masks and
defences we have created.
It is true that we all are all living our personal
mythology. We are all living by the story we have created
for ourselves, unconsciously most of the time. It helps
protect us from the horrors of our past and the deep wounds
of our soul. It helps give us a false sense of self-esteem and
happiness.
The human tragedy is that if we completely accept our personal myth, we only live an
unexamined life and we may unwittingly hurt ourselves and our loved one without any awareness.
That is why we need to look into the mirror and examine the innermost part of our soul. We
may discover the shocking dark secrets that we have tried so hard to cover up. But we will not change
ourselves, unless we have the courage to face the painful truth that we are not what we think we are.
As an affluent and technically advanced society, we have unwittingly become too smart and
too smug for our own good. We may feel that we are so sophisticated and cosmopolitan that we have
no use for God or traditional values.
We may be so busy pursuing materials gains that we have no time to reflect on what really
matters in life. We may also be so pre-occupied with only own needs and self interests that we no
longer know how to love or care for others.
It is tragic mistake to worship the almighty dollar and the power of science to provide for a
good life, because in doing so, we actually pave the way of self-destruction.
Misguided scientism and materialistic egotism lead to all kinds of toxic characteristics such as
selfishness, pride, envy, discrimination, hatred, and phoniness, which may be more dangerous than
the coronavirus, leading to much unnecessary suffering and destruction.
In order to protect their privileges and advance their own agenda, so many successful people
use their power to sacrifice countless little people for their benefit; they are able to get away because
the poor do have the power to fight back.
These human evils may be directly or indirectly responsible for the spread of a preventable
pandemic and the reason behind most of our problems, such as political unrest, racism, power
struggles, marital conflicts, divorce, mass violence, and hate crimes.
We have got into such a terrible mess because we have lost our way, lost our soul, and
forgotten how to live as decent and interdependent human beings.
Such awareness awakens us to all kinds of possibilities for positive transformation.
Second, we Need to Change our Mindset About Suffering
The second step is to change our negative attitude towards suffering. We need a quantum shift
in our mindset to not think of the suffering caused by COVID-19 as a dreadful enemy, but as a
warning that our life is out of balance and a signal that it is time to search for new meaning and
purpose.
All kinds of unexpectedly good things can come from this shift in mindset. According to
Frankl (1985), we all have the primary need for transcendental meaning; this is the deepest yearning
in our soul, which cannot be satisfied with material things or all the good things in life.
That is why he defined our search for meaning as the search for self-transcendence, for
something much greater than ourselves, and something worth suffering and dying for. We become
truly alive and fearless only when we have discovered our passion for living.
Here lies the pivotal point. Here, Frankl made the greatest discovery in psychology and
therapy: It takes suffering to discover resilience and happiness.
For instance, I am grateful for all my suffering, which has made me a better person and a good
psychologist who knows how to help others.
I would not have fully understood Frankl’s genius without personally going through the
horrors of the Japanese invasion of China, civil war, poverty, and discrimination.
Without suffering, I would not have discovered existential positive psychology (PP 2.0),
which advocates that flourishing must have its roots in the soil of suffering.
The good news is that you too can benefit from your
suffering–you need to squeeze out all the benefits and good
things from your suffering. It would be a crime against
yourself to waste your suffering. So stop complaining, and be
grateful for all the gifts from suffering–from confusion to
purposefulness, from passion to compassion, from
understanding to empathy (Young-Eisendrath, 1996).
Therefore, be patient in your suffering until you have
learned all the lessons you need in order to find true success
and fulfillment in life. You will continue to suffer until you
stop resisting. Eventual victory belongs to those who are able
to endure and learn the lesson of self-transcendence.
Third, we Need to Understand the Power of Self-Transcendental Love

This is a powerful quote. Frankl was able to
discover the secret code to resilience and happiness after
he suffered in Nazi death camps.
Yes, love is the only way to our salvation. This
is no poetic hyperbole, no romantic sentimentalism, and
definitely no overused cliché.
It sounds so simple, but it is so profound that it
will take time to understand and practice. After many
more decades of research, the new science of self-
transcendence will reveal the full extent of the power
and mechanisms of sacrificial love, which also happens
to be the greatest commandments from Jesus (see Matt
22:36-40).
We have only scratched the surface with the
recent publication of Transcend: The New Science of
Self-Actualization (2020) by Scott Barry Kaufman and
my own research of self-transcendence (Wong, 2016b,
2016c). We still know very little of the Why and How
of self-transcendence, which is the key to resilience and
happiness.
I can only hypothesize that we were wired for self-transcendence. That is why our primary
motivation is the deepest yearning for self-transcendent love. That is why sacrificial love allows us to
transform ourselves. That is why the passion of Christ on the cross is the most powerful positive
movement in history.
But it is sufficient to say that all the research so far have demonstrated that belief in self-
transcendence can get people through all their challenging life situations, from aging and cancer, to
palliative care (For more details, please read Wong, 2016a; Kaufman, 2020).
Anyone who has been fallen in

love would understand that they would be
willing to make any sacrifice in order to
bring happiness to the beloved.
They would be willing to suffer
and endure pain for the beloved – love
gives them courage and resilience
They will suffer joyfully if their
sacrifice brings the other happiness – love
gives them deep satisfaction in spite of
suffering.
They would be willing to help all those who are related to the other – love makes them a
caring person
In short, love has transformed them completely, from their innermost being to how they
behave and relate to others.
Anyone who has found their true calling or mission would also understand that they would be
willing to make any sacrifice in order to realize their dream.
They would be willing to suffer and endure
anything for their mission– love for their work gives
them courage and resilience
They would suffer joyfully knowing that their
sacrifice will be worth it – meaning gives them deep
happiness in spite of suffering.
They would be willing to help anyone who is
related to the mission – meaning makes them a caring
person
The above are just simple examples. Self-
transcendence can permeate and transform every aspect
of our life. In short, self-transcendence will transform
our inner landscape and empower us to use our body as
an instrument for a higher purpose beyond ourselves.
Fourth, we Need to Practice Self-Transcendence in Order to Survive

and Thrive
Whatever one’s view of life is, suffering has always constituted an important part of human
existence. The average person is primarily concerned about bread and butter issues, but in times like
this pandemic, we are thrown into unchartered territory where we are confronted daily with existential
issues, such as suffering and death.
In a paradoxical way, I have shown that how we resolve our existential crisis can have direct
impact on our wellbeing and happiness.
According to Buddhist Proverb: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” But what is psychic
pain? How can differentiate it from suffering? What are the differences between inevitable and
optional suffering? What are the neuro-mechanisms for our happiness in suffering for what we love
passionately? How is passionate love related to meaning and virtue? What are the differences
between good and bad self-transcendence (Wong, 2017)? That is why I have set up a Research
Institute on Suffering and Flourishing, the research arm of INPM (www.meaning.ca/)
I have also written the book Made for Resilience and Happiness (available soon) which
provides a road map on how to become stronger and happier by going thorough the turbulent journey
of fighting against the pandemic. At times, the waves may seem too gigantic to overcome, but we
have the innate human capacity to achieve something positive in the worst of circumstances though
self-transcendence.
For example, you may be reluctant to go to work because of the all the risks, difficulties, and
hopelessness surrounding the workplace (such as palliative care or long-term care homes). May I
suggest that you go through the above four steps by challenging yourself with the following tough
questions; this may help transform your life:
1) Confront yourself by asking simple questions such as: Am I a coward who is too afraid of
risks? Am I a selfish jerk who is not willing to help others? Do I realize how important and
valuable my work is? Do I realize that the value or meaning of work does not depend on my
position, but on my attitude? Why can’t I bring a positive attitude and give it my best when I
work?
2) Stop complaining about your work and start thinking about what a wonderful experience it is.
Yes, it is tough and nerve-wrecking. It is exhausting and frustrating. But also think about what
a privilege it is to help others. Don’t you realize how many people depend on your work?
Don’t you feel a sense of significance and dignity to be able to contribute in such a difficult
time? Do you feel a sense of pride when so many people are grateful for your heroic work and
want to show their appreciation? How many people have the opportunity to be under the
spotlight as a hero?
3) Do you realize that love is the most powerful force on earth? Do you know that love can give
you the strength to endure anything, the courage to face any danger, and the joy to sacrifice
for others? Remind yourself that you work because of your passion for your work, and your
passion to help others. More importantly, your work provides the financial support for your
loved ones.
4) Say to yourself that you are no longer afraid of suffering and death because love make it
worthwhile. The idea of being motivated by sacrificial love will fill your heart with joy and
ignite the fire in your belly so you may play an important role in combatting the deadly
monster. Say to yourself that the worse will be over and your life will be stronger and better
because you dared to face the crisis, face your own shadow, and found your way back to self-
transcendence, the source of positive energy and divine joy deep in your soul.
Conclusion
Your solution to the problems of the coronavirus
lies in the process, not in the destination.
COVID-19 is here, and we cannot run away from it. We
must face it, accept it, and move forward with courage and
self-transcendental love. The future is on the side of love
and hope. We can win the war together, and we can rejoice
together by encouraging and cheering each other on.
Self-transcendence provides a way for us to be
connected with others and with God; it is through our total
dependence on these connections that we discover the
beauty and happiness of life.
Self-transcendence is the source of compassion, which
means to suffer with others. It is the source of passion,
which means to suffer for God and for others. Self-transcendence sets our soul on fire and moves us
to accomplish the impossible.
In sum, self-transcendence is a transformative way of making us complete. It is also the most
compassionate way look at life. It is like seeing life through the lens of love from our soul, which
softens every blow from life and adds some bright colour to every dark shadow we go through. It
makes our life more beautiful and interesting.
A better future begins with self-transcendental love. Hope that you can harness the power of
love to transform your life and overcome COVID-19. May you find enough space in your heart to
welcome your shadow and embrace your suffering; this is the best way to reclaim your happiness and
hope today.
I want to conclude this essay with a beautiful quote from Anam Cara: Spiritual wisdom from the
Celtic world (1999) by John O’Donohue because it captures the spiritual nature of self-transcendence
with such powerful and poetical language:
“For love alone can awaken what is divine within you. In love, you grow and come home to
your self…Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then
on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands
of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let
compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving towards the summit of
fulfillment. When the spiritual path opens, you can bring an incredible generosity to the world
and to the lives of others.”
Self-Transcendence Measure-Brief (STM-B)

© Paul T. P. Wong, Oscar Kjell, Ed Peacock, Itai Ivtzan, & Tim Lomas, 2017
Please respond to the following statements by circling the most appropriate response to the scale,
from 0 (not at all characteristic of me or my beliefs) to 4 (a great deal characteristic of me or my
beliefs).
1. My life is meaningful because I live for something greater than myself. 0 1 2 3 4

2. My suffering is more bearable when I believe that it is for my family, 0 1 2 3 4
friends, and/or for a higher purpose.
3. I enjoy the process of striving towards excellence in what matters. 0 1 2 3 4
4. At my funeral, I want to be remembered as a decent human being who 0 1 2 3 4

cared about others.
5. A worthy lifelong pursuit ought to have some intrinsic value—something 0 1 2 3 4
that is good in its own right.
6. What matters most to me in life is the contribution I make to society. 0 1 2 3 4
7. I focus on discovering the potential meaning in every situation. 0 1 2 3 4
8. I devote my life to pursuing the ideals of beauty, goodness, and truth. 0 1 2 3 4
9. I develop my full potential in order to give my best to benefit society. 0 1 2 3 4
10. I am more motivated by doing something meaningful than by the prospect 0 1 2 3 4

of receiving external rewards.
For the original Self-Transcendence Measure (STM) (Wong, Ivtzan, Lomas, & Kjell, 2016), please
see: Wong, P. T. P. (2016, June). Self-transcendence as the path to virtue, happiness and meaning.
Paper presented at the research working group meeting for Virtue, Happiness, and the Meaning of
Life Project, University of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois.
For the Self-Transcendence Measure-Revised (STM-R) (Wong, Ivtzan, Lomas, Kjell, & Peacock,
2017), please see: Wong, P. T. P. (2016, December). From Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy to the four
defining characteristics of self- transcendence. Paper presented at the research working group
meeting for Virtue, Happiness, and the Meaning of Life Project, Columbia, SC.
Chapter 1 | You Were Made for Resilience and Happiness for

Times Like These
The problem of suffering can not be solved by shallow faith or easy happiness; nor can it be
solved by science, wealth, or political power. Suffering can only be experienced, embraced, and
transformed into a source of positive energy in life.
The most precious pearl could only be found in the deepest part of the sea. The most brilliant
diamond could only be found in the deepest part of the earth.
When you were enjoying a luxurious cruise, or celebrating your business success,
unfortunately and unexpected you found yourself descending into the deepest hell, in the unfamiliar
and scary world of darkness and suffering.
You can shake your fist at God and curse everyone who may be responsible for your
undeserved suffering.
You may swear and complain all day about your miseries, agony and anguish.
But this only aggravates your suffering. When there seems to be no way out of this hellhole,
listen to the small, still voice: only you, and you alone can find your way out by searching deep and
wide for life's true purpose and for a solution to the problem of your suffering (Wong & Worth,
2017).
You will be surprised by joy–the kind of mature happiness which no one can take away
(Wong & Bowers, 2018).
Yes, your darkest hour can become your precious time. Your cup is empty so that it may be
filled with something that can really quench your soul's deepest thirst.
You have lost everything so that you may find something that cannot perishable.
You are confined and isolated so that you may transcend all your limitations and become
connected the measureless ocean of life and joy.
Your life can either be destroyed or transformed by suffering. Ultimately, the choice is yours.
The responsibility of making the right choice is yours. No one can make this decision for you.
If you want to say Yes to Life, Yes to suffering, and discover life's true purpose and joy, you
can benefit from Viktor Frank's logotherapy and my positive psychology of suffering (Wong, 2019 )
because both of us have gone to hell and back, and are grateful for the opportunity for heroic
achievement. You too can embark on a hero's journey.
Chapter 2 | Viktor Frankl’s Cure for COVID-19
Viktor Frankl’s (1985) biggest discovery is that the meaning derived from suffering holds the
key to resolving that suffering, along with our personal growth. According to Frankl, COVID-19
provides a rare opportunity for healing and new beginnings. The chapter explains why and how it
works.
By all accounts, the battle with COVID-19 is not going as well as many have expected, with
new cases emerging each day and the death toll still rising (Welna, 2020). According to some views,
the worst may be yet to come (e.g., Hunter, 2020; Shpancer, 2020). Therefore, flattening the mental
health curve should also be a major challenge (Gruber & Rottenberg, 2020).
As a student of Viktor Frankl and a practitioner of meaning therapy, I believe that we can do
better than just return to the pre-pandemic condition, in which one out of five American adults has a
mental illness (National Alliance on Mental Health, 2019). As a long-time advocate of grassroots
mental health movement, I believe that teaching people how to live a meaningful life is the most
economic and effective way to help them develop a psychological vaccine to protect or restore their
mental health (Wong, 2015). The positive message of this book is that the lockdown has provided a
rare opportunity of awakening or enlightenment for people to become stronger and better through the
path of meaning.
Here is a personal example. Recently, many bad things have happened to me. This might be a
case of going through a perfect storm. It might be also due to the lockdown, because strange things do
happen in people’s mind and in relationships, when people are cooped up for a long time without the
normal human contact and activities.
Whatever the cause of this series of unfortunate events, I felt compelled to share my
predicament on Facebook with this brief posting: “Another night of struggling with God. Since the
lockdown, everything has gone wrong, & everyone has abandoned me.” This seemed the least I could
do during my lonely struggle.
Good things have happened as a result. Firstly, within a few days, over 150 messages of
support and encouragement poured in. It turns out that my condition was not an isolated case; many
people resonated with my difficulty. Secondly, I was able to develop deeper relationships with some
of them. Finally, I was able to gain deep understanding of Frankl and resolve my problems.
I was not surprised that so many of my Facebook friends recommended Holocaust survivor
Viktor Frankl’s bestseller Man’s Search for Meaning (1985) as a source of inspiration and solution,
even though I have read this book several times. As a matter of fact, in the age of COVID-19, the
most mentioned psychotherapist in the media and interviews with mental health experts is Frankl.
For example, Kenan Malik (2020) began his opinion piece in The Guardian with this quote:
“To speak about the meaning and value of life may seem more necessary today than ever”, which was
from a 1946 lecture by Frankl republished in English recently (1946/2020).
Malik went on to say that at a time of global existential threat, “the significance of Frankl’s
work lies not in his positivity or optimism but in his insistence that it is humans, and humans alone,
who imbue the world with meaning. There is no external authority to whom we can turn to help us
decide notions of right and wrong, good and bad. We can rely only on ourselves.”
Although media coverage of Viktor Frankl was generally helpful, it did not really explain the
How and Why of Frankl’s logotherapy and tragic optimism. In this small book, I will provide the road
signs for finding meaning according to Frankl.
Returning to my personal struggle mentioned earlier, I need to emphasize that existential
struggle is not something that can be resolved once for all, because it is often context specific. But
each time we go through the process of searching for meaning, we become more effective in
resolving trauma. During this lockdown, my biggest gain was that I was able to develop deeper
insights into Frankl's cure and found answers to my problem. I trust that these answers can help you
too.
My First Insight is the Power of Frankl's 3-Second Rule

Based on all my reading of Frankl’s writings and the following popular quote typically
attributed to Frankl, I believe that this quote can be best understood as a 3-second pause that can save
us from many problems. These 3 seconds will create enough space for us to make the right decision,
which may mean a different outcome, a different destiny:
1. The 1st second. What is happening in this situation (Mindfulness)? We need to observe what
is unfolding with mindfulness or self-detachment in Frankl's terminology. This brief
intentional pause can make all the difference because it enables us to suspend our impulse,
bias, or emotional reaction in a split second to allow for more accurate stress appraisal
(Peacock & Wong, 1990). Don't panic even when you feel overwhelmed by all the dark forces
attacking you. One moment of stillness can save your life and turn the tide in your favor. One
moment of pause will give you the necessary time to seek guidance from your soul and/or
from higher power for the right response.
2. The 2nd second. What are my options or what kind of freedom do I have in this situation
(Reflection on freedom)? Whatever the circumstances, we always have some degree of
freedom or control; even in the worst case scenario of having a gun pointed at our head to
obey an evil order, we still have the freedom of attitude to take a stance. It is always possible
to maintain the freedom to protect our inherent human dignity and core value by boldly
declaring: “You can destroy my body, but you cannot kill my soul.” We have the freedom to
choose to die happily as a martyr, whereby we instantly transform the human tragedy into a
heroic triumph.
3. The 3rd second. What is the right thing to do? How can I make a decision which is congruent
with my life purpose and core value (Frankl, 1988)? We are constantly confronted with the
existential dilemma of choosing between expediency and meaning. Choosing to gain some
practical advantage, we may have to sacrifice our integrity or sell our soul, but choosing to do
the right thing, we may have to face persecution and suffering.
This third question represents Frankl's greatest discovery: The question of meaning of life is
not about me or what I can get from life, but about the human family or what life demands of me in
terms of moral obligations. Most people from the West may react negatively to the concept of duty,
but from the perspective of various Asian cultures, a sense of moral imperative can be a powerful
motivation for heroic actions. Frankl’s questioning may serve as a wake-up call, leading to an “aha!”
moment of awakening and a quantum shift from “What is in this for me?” to “What can I offer to
others”
Sadly, most people are content with living in a two-dimensional space; to them, life is all
about eating, drinking and personally being happy. They will only work if they have to make a living.
However, some serious reflection on the third question may open our eyes to the vertical spiritual
dimension of life, enabling us to live at a deeper level.
The first and second questions of the 3-second rule require the important mechanism of self-
detachment, whereas the third question requires self-transcendence (Wong, 2016a).
The 3-second rule serves the same purpose as the Chinese idiom of “Think thrice before you
act” (三思而行), except that it is more explicit in providing a clear guide about how to think thrice.
The end result is that it reduces the likelihood of making the wrong decision.
Together, these two spiritual mechanisms–mindfulness (self-detachment) and meaning (self-
transcendence)–function like a pair of strong wings that can lift you above your stress and personal
problems into a new realm of hope and possibilities. Most mental health professionals who mentioned
Frankl did not realize that these two mechanisms are the double-helixes for our meaningful life just as
the double-helix DNA is essential for our biological life.
Together, these two spiritual mechanisms represent a fundamental re-orientation from
everyday self-interested obsessions, towards a broader concern for others (e.g., Adler, 1938/2011) or
something greater than oneself (e.g., Frankl’s [1985] idea of ultimate meaning). Therefore, meaning
may be unique in each individual and in each situation, but the fundamental structure of meaning is
the same, always shifting from self-preoccupation to a larger story, even a meta-narrative. Our heart
needs to be large enough to embrace others, nature, and the Creator in order to achieve self-
transcendence and self-actualization.
These 3 seconds may even buy you enough time to laugh at the absurdity of life and make
yourself happy: “Humour...can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if
only for a few seconds.” (Frankl, 1985, p. 63)
In sum, meaning lies in going beyond the bondage of carnal desires or egotism (e.g., No Self
according to Buddhism, or self-crucifixion according to Christianity) so that you may be free to
connect with others, with nature, or with transcendental reality and higher values in an authentic and
generous way.
Once you have made the quantum shift to the vertical dimension of human existence–the
spiritual dimension–you are in a position to decide how to realize meaning and value in your life
regardless of circumstances. To further help you to make the right decision, Frankl has also identified
three fundamental values, as discussed below.
My Second Insight is the Comprehensiveness of Frankl’s Three

Avenues of Value
It is amazing how Frankl was able to summarize the complex issues regarding the relationship
between meaning and values in a simple and comprehensive way. One’s subjective meaning needs to
be congruent with the following enduring values in order to be truly beneficial and worthwhile:
Creative value. What you can give to the world through your unique creative work. Whenever you
have the freedom and opportunity to do something worthwhile and creative with your time or your
life, you would want to do it whole-heartedly, so that it bears your unique imprint of personality,
character strengths, experience, and imagination. You can create something of value and leave a
footprint that helps others. It does not make any difference whether it is a paid job, volunteer work, or
a hobby; it is not the nature of work but the nature of your attitude towards you work that makes it
meaningful or significant. Whether your work has enduring value all depends on whether you care for
it enough to create some real value. When your work matters to you, it will in turn makes your life
matter or significant because of your unique contribution.
Experiential value. How you can receive it from the world through your appreciation. You can
savour the moment through your five senses. You can also discover some hidden beauty and
goodness in people, nature, or negative events with mindfulness and a meaning mindset (Wong,
2011). The secret to meaning and happiness is that you can always discover something beautiful in
life, no matter how harsh life is. You can discover it with an attitude of humility, appreciation,
imagination, and faith in the transcendental reality–all involve the activating of your right brain.
Suffering can be painful but appreciate the precious life lessons from going through it. The most
important part of this value is the appreciation of a love relationship, which is a like a stream in a
desert or a ray of sunshine after a dark night. True love always involves the pain of yearning during
separation and grieving during death, but it is always a major source of meaning capable of
transforming people’s lives for those who accept the sacrifice demanded by love.
Attitudinal value. How you can experience it through the

“defiant power of the human spirit”. It can be an attitude of
courage or an affirmation of faith to protect your human
dignity and core values, even when you were stripped of
everything. It is an attitude that enables you to face imminent
death with your head held high and your eyes turned towards
Heaven. It will give you the mental and emotional toughness
to survive COVID-19.
By applying the above insights to my life, I was able to
reach a deeper level of acceptance and insight to discover
meaning in very difficult circumstances. In fact, there is no
bottom in terms of the depth of empathy, forgiveness,
understanding, acceptance, and sacrifice.
I was able to restore some measures of inner peace and joy when I was liberated from all
attachments–not just from the things of this world, but from the expectations that educated and decent
adults should behave according to principles of justice, respect, and responsibility. Indeed, I had to
accept the reality that the life is full of absurdity and darkness, and there are some very bad and
unreasonable people.
Ultimately, I was only responsible for my own behavior–I should strive to do the right thing
regardless of personal costs. This realization immediately simplifies and clarified matters. I no longer
had to worry about all the complicated ramifications of winning or losing. When I was willing to let
go of everything, I was able to find peace with myself, with the world, and feel good about life.
Meaning therapy is actually depth therapy; it is about sinking down deep roots so that we can
survive the violent storms of life. To use a war metaphor, when we are bombarded by enemy fire and
surrounded by toxic gas or pathogens with nowhere to go, we can always go deeper and deeper until
we reach the innermost recess of our soul, the spiritual and healthy core which cannot be corrupted,
according to Frankl’s logotherapy.
Another way to clarify whether one’s desired value is really worthwhile or meaningful is
Wong’s (2010) PURE test. Not all goals are equal–some are trivial pursuits and some are misguided
self-destructive ambitions. To avoid self-deception, one can always apply the following four criteria:
1. A meaningful life is purposeful. We all have the desire to be great or significant, we all want our
life to matter, to be somebody rather than a nobody. We all want to make a difference in the world. A
sense of mattering or significance imbues our lives with meaning. The intrinsic motivation of striving
to improve ourselves to achieve a worth goal is a source of meaning. That is why purpose is the
cornerstone for a meaningful life. Even if you want to live an ordinary life, you may still want to do
the best you can so that you will be known as a good neighbor, a decent human being. But not all
purposes are alike. If our life purpose is centered around getting rich and famous by any means, even
if it involves stepping on others, then such a life goal is neither responsible nor rationally justifiable.
2. A meaningful life is understandable or coherent. We need to know the reasons for our existence,
or the reason or objective of our actions and plans (Antonovsky, 1987). Having a cognitive
understanding or a sense of coherence is equally important for meaning.
3. A meaningful life is a responsible one. We must assume full responsibility for our life or for
choosing our life goal. Self-determination is based on the responsible use of our freedom. This
involves the volition aspect of personality. The next criteria will explain why responsivity = meaning.
4. A meaningful life is enjoyable and fulfilling. It is the deep satisfaction that comes from having
made some difference in the world. This is a natural by-product of living a life of self-transcendence.
This subjective feeling of eudaimonia only comes from objectively pursuing something beyond and
greater than oneself. The self-evaluation that “my life matters” is no longer a self-deception, when
one can point to some objective evidence of their positive impact on others and society.
Together, these four criteria constitute the PURE definition of meaning in life. Most meaning
researchers support a tripartite definition of meaning in life: Comprehension, purpose, and mattering
(George & Park, 2016; Martela & Steger, 2016), but these elements are predicated on the assumption
that individuals assume the responsibility to choose the narrow path of meaning rather than the broad
way of hedonic happiness. In the existential literature, freedom and responsibility are essential values
for an authentic and meaningful life (In addition to Frankl, you can also read Rollo May, Irvin D.
Yalom, Emmy van Deuzen, etc).
For instance, my life is meaningful because I chose the life goal of reducing suffering, as well
as bringing meaning and hope to suffering people. This was not an easy choice, but it was the only
choice if I wanted to be true to my nature and my calling. I had to be what I was meant to be.
My Third Insight is the Key to Understand Frankl’s Cure
According to Frankl, logotherapy is spiritual therapy. Just as cognitive psychology restored

the mind to psychology after behaviourism, Frankl restored the soul and spirituality to mainstream
psychology, which was dominated by reductionist and determinist materialism. The soul represents
the most sacred spot in everyone’s life; it is where we discovery our best angels. It is where we
encounter the what is sacred and transcendental. Most importantly, it is where we find our passion for
life.
The key to understanding the power of Frankl’s meaning therapy is to discover the power of
FAITH, such as faith in a better future, in the self, in others, and in God. Faith in God is very
involved in the exercise of attitudinal value. All hope are based on faith, especially hope in hopeless
situations.
What kept Frankl alive through multiple Nazi death camps was precisely his faith in a future
reunion with his wife (not knowing that she was already dead), faith in the enthusiastic acceptance of
logotherapy in the world, and faith in the inherent value and sanctity of life. He never gave up the
belief and hope that allied forces would arrive, and he would still be alive to fulfill his dreams.
Faith, nothing but faith, can counteract the horrors of life and death. All our pursuits of
meaningful work and meaningful relationships are initiated by faith and sustained by faith even when
we were living in a hellhole. We need faith to sustain our hope in an uncertain future which is beyond
our control.
It does not matter whether you have faith in God, Jesus, Buddha, or the spirit of our ancestors,
if you have faith in someone or something greater than yourself, you would have a better chance of
overcoming seemingly insurmountable problems and defeating more powerful enemies.
In sum, wellbeing can be conceptualized in terms of a golden triangle as illustrated below in
figure 1. Each of the three components of this triad is possible because of the of double helix of self-
detachment (mindfulness) and self-transcendence (meaning) that liberate us from self-absorption.
Just as social distancing saves lives from the coronavirus, self distancing and self
transcendence can provide the necessary life space that saves us from the heart of darkness,
characterized by greed, pride, ignorance, and egotistic pursuits. The psychological imperative of
cultivating faith, meaning, and love can be found throughout this book, because these three elements
are like air, food, and water which are essential to our physical health. Later, I will show that the
Golden Triangle and the Iron Triangle (see figure 2, which I will describe later) together constitute
Frankl’s vaccine against suffering and the recipe to success.
Figure 1
The Golden Triangle
Frankl is also relevant in the current debate of saving lives vs. saving the economy. On the one
hand, he believes in the intrinsic value of life because of its spiritual origin, its singularity for each
individual, and its potential for growth and to create some value for humanity. On the other hand, he
believes that life is meaningful to the extent that we need to find something greater than ourselves and
worth dying for. In other word, he believes in the paradoxical truth of life: Life has meaning and
value only when it become what it was meant to be, which is pursuing a self-transcending life goal.
In Frankl’s view, life is priceless. One cannot put a price tag on anyone’s life because we were
all created equal in the image of God and endowed with greater value than any material things. That’s
why he encourages people to say Yes to life, no matter what.
A related argument in favor of life is that a living individual is always able to create some
value or wealth, whereas a dead individual will be a terrible loss to their loved ones emotionally and
entails economic loss. Therefore, whether from the perspective of cost/benefit analysis or from the
framework of humanistic values, saving lives should be given a higher priority over saving the
economy. In short, life always trumps money.
Now, close your eyes and ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
1) What do I want to do with my one and only life?
2) What is worth all my effort and sacrifices?
3) What is life, if there is no dream, no suffering, no overcoming, and no hope?
Reflecting on these three questions may set you free from your shallow meaningless existence
and get you started on a risky but exciting adventure. You may find some road signs and helpful tools
in the following pages.
The second exercise is to meditate on the following three self-affirmations:
1) I believe that life has meaning till I breaths my last my last.
2) I am grateful that the reality of suffering and death shows me what I was meant to be.
3) I am confident that I can find my way to a happy and meaningful life even in a hostile
environment.
The third exercise is to complete the Personal Meaning Profile-Revised and discover your sources of
meaning-in-life:
Please indicate the score you circled for the indicated question number in the cells below. Add
up the scores in each row:
Personal Meaningful Profile-Brief (PMP-B)

© Paul T. P. Wong, 2012
This questionnaire is intended to identify what really matters in your life and measures people’s
perception of personal meaning in their lives. Generally, a meaningful life involves a sense of purpose
and personal significance. However, people often differ in what they value most, and they have
different ideas as to what would make life worth living. The following statements describe potential
sources of a meaningful life. Please read each statement carefully and indicate to what extent each
item characterizes your own life. You may respond by circling the appropriate number according to
the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Not at All Moderately A Great Deal
For example, if going to parties does not contribute to your sense of personal meaning, you may circle
1 or 2. If taking part in volunteer work contributes quite a bit to the meaning in your life, you may
circle 6 or 7.
It is important that you answer honestly on the basis of your own experience and beliefs.
1. I believe I can make a difference in the world 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
2. I have someone to share intimate feelings with 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
3. I strive to make this world a better place 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
4. I seek to do God’s will 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
5. I like challenge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
6. I take initiative 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
7. I have a number of good friends 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8. I am trusted by others 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
9. I seek to glorify God 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
10. Life has treated me fairly 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
11. I accept my limitations 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
12. I have a mutually satisfying loving relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
13. I am liked by others 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
14. I have found someone I love deeply 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
15. I accept what cannot be changed 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
16. I am persistent and resourceful in attaining my goals 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
17. I make a significant contribution to society 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
18. I believe that one can have a personal relationship with God 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
19. I am treated fairly by others 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
20. I have received my fair share of opportunities and rewards 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
21. I have learned to live with suffering and make the best of it 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Reference: McDonald, M. J., Wong, P. T. P., & Gingras, D. T. (2012). Meaning-in-life measures and
development of a brief version of the Personal Meaning Profile. In P. T. P. Wong (Ed.), The human
quest for meaning: Theories, research, and applications (2nd ed., pp. 357-382). New York, NY:
Routledge.
For the scoring key, please refer to the "Measures and Scales Scoring Keys" section, beginning on page 119.
It is only fitting to conclude this brief introduction

to logotherapy by quoting Frankl (1946/2020) regarding
the inherent, unconditional value and meaning of
individual life:
“What remained was the individual person, the human

being — and nothing else. Everything had fallen away
from him during those years: money, power, fame; nothing
was certain for him anymore: not life, not health, not
happiness; all had been called into question for him:
vanity, ambition, relationships. Everything was reduced to
bare existence. Burnt through with pain, everything that
was not essential was melted down — the human being
reduced to what he was in the last analysis: either a
member of the masses, therefore no one real, so really no
one — the anonymous one, a nameless thing (!), that ‘he’
had now become, just a prisoner number; or else he melted
right down to his essential self.”
Chapter 3 | Why we Need the New Science of

Suffering and Flourishing
The new science of suffering and flourishing will blow your mind because it turns
positive psychology, as you know it, on its head. It is based on the new understanding that the
positive psychology of happiness is only half of the circle of wellbeing; the other half is the
existential positive psychology of suffering.
One cannot find wholeness and life balance without integrating the Yin and Yang aspects
of life. The ultimate goal of life is to live a life of balance and harmony – a theme that well be
explained in depth in a later chapter.
The agenda of existential positive psychology (PP 2.0) for both research and applications
can be summed up as transforming suffering into strength and joy. That is the message in need
during the age of COVID-19 and the following post-pandemic years.
More specifically, PP 2.0 is about transforming your life by turning:
• Depression into meaning,

• Anxiety into mindfulness,
• Anger into activism for change,
• Shame into self improvement,
• Fear into courage,
• Failure into industriousness,
• Hopelessness into faith and tragic optimism,
• Grieving or sadness into serenity,
• Loneliness into social interest and intimacy,
• Feeling imprisoned into self-transcendence,
• Weakness into resilience.
There is already considerable research on the above, which I will not review here.
Throughout this book, you will learn a lot more about how to develop the above skills that will
make you stronger and better.
If you still feel that Frankl’s cure does not provide the help you need, here is some
additional information from the new science of suffering and flourishing.
There is a long history in wrestling with the problem of suffering. For example, in
Buddhism, the four Noble Truths are:
• The truth of suffering (dukkha),

• The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya),
• The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha).
• The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga).
Collectively, these principles explain why human beings suffer and how to overcome
suffering. Mindful meditation is just one of the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhist spiritual
practices leading to liberation from suffering and attaining Nirvana. (History.com editors, 2017).
But there is also a short history in the scientific study of pain and suffering in the science
of medicine and psychology at the biological, psychological, and existential levels (Cassell,
1991/2004; Grinker, et al., 1968; Wall, 2002). Human beings have the need for physical and
psychological wellbeing (Bakan, 1968, Cabos, 2014; Reich, 1989). Clinical psychology focuses
on reducing suffering as a moral duty (Miller, 2005) and Viktor Frankl (1985) considered
logotherapy as a medical ministry for physicians. Philosophers and religious leaders from both
the East and West represent the oldest attempts to find solutions to suffering. Mindfulness has
recently become an area of scientific study in the reduction of stress (e.g, Davis & Hayes, 2012).
But in another sense, PP 2.0 is an emerging science for at least 3 reasons:
First, it is an attempt to fill a missing gap in positive psychology. Positive psychology

advocates that we can develop a science of wellbeing by focusing on neutral or positive
territories of life, without the need to factor in the objective misery index and subjective
suffering (Seligman, 2011; Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000). That is why this new science is
often referred to as second wave positive psychology or PP 2.0 (Ivtzan et al., 2015; Wong,
2011).
Second, it adopts a holistic approach towards the study of pain and suffering. The human
phenomena cannot be simply understood in terms of material things, because human beings are
complicated systems with several interdependent and integrated dimensions – biological,
psychological, spiritual, social, and cultural. That is why the efficacy of CBT in treating
depression may be failing in the last three decades (e.g., Johnson & Friborg, 2015) because life
has become more complicated and depression can no longer be treated by fixing one’s
dysfunctional thinking.
As case in point, the psychic pain of being ostracised and oppressed can be even more
unbearable than physical pain, because it cannot be resolved without correcting systemic racial
discrimination and biases. I have personally experienced this pain all my adult life living in
North America. The mental health problems of COVID-19 are more serious for some vulnerable
minorities. That is why this new science merges PP 2.0 (Wong, 2009) with indigenous/cross
cultural positive psychology (Wong, 2016a, 2013).
Third, it involves a radically different set of assumptions. These assumptions were also
emphasized by Frankl, several being: (a) an existential/spiritual worldview, (b) suffering as the
foundation of wellbeing, and (c) sustainable or mature happiness the by-product of human quest
for meaning. Fowers, Richardson & Slife (2017) provide the most compelling case for this new
science; I have built on the foundation laid by them (Wong, 2019a, 2020). It would be good for
psychology and our society if more suffering people can benefit from this new science.
There is already research demonstrating that suffering can lead to posttraumatic growth
and superior survivorship (Suttie, 2014). There is also a fair amount of research on resilience,
defined as the ability to bounce back after a setback (Bonanno, 2004). The American
Psychological Association (2020) defined resilience as:
“the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or
significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health
problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves ‘bouncing
back’ from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.”
The ability to bounce back requires cognitive flexibility to promote personal wellbeing
(Southwick & Charney, 2012). Research also shows that resilience depends on an individual’s
resources, competencies, psychological strengths (such as positive emotions, positive traits),
social factors (Kobau et al., 2011), and other psychological resources (such as meaning and
religion; Park, 2005; Wong, 2007). There is considerable scientific support from evolutionary
psychology for the power of positive thoughts in contributing to resilience and wellbeing (Geher
& Wedberg, 2020).
However, I am proposing that this new science is about the Why and How of embracing
suffering through meaning should be the cornerstone of positive psychology and positive
education (Wong, 2019b). The hallmark of resilience is feeling good about who we are and what
we do so we are not afraid of suffering and dying for our mission.
It is no longer about bouncing back from adversity or the cognitive-behaviour
mechanisms of hardiness (Maddi, 2006). Rather, it about a lifelong preparation from childhood
for a resilience mindset and character in order to survive and thrive in a dangerous or hostile
world as a decent human being.
Recently, I was interviewed by someone from a University in Mexico (Aladro, 2020)
regarding the meaning in life and Covid-19. The interviewer asked me two surprising questions.
The first question was: What are the most valuable lessons that you learned in childhood?
My answer was that my parents and school really taught me the importance of three things: (a)
enduring hardships and suffering, (b) the discipline of working hard, and (c) the willpower to
focus on what needs to be done. They prepared me well to survive and succeed in a very harsh
world as a refugee in Hong Kong and an immigrant in Canada.
The last question he asked me was: What do you have to say to our students to inspire
them during the age of COVID-19? I said that my answer was still the same. In the post-
pandemic world, jobs would be scarce and competition would be tough; they would have little
chance of success to realize their dreams unless they were prepared to embrace hardships, to
work hard, and to work creatively towards a worthy life goal. If they choose to have mentality of
living a happy and safe life described in the Coddling of the American mind (2018) by Greg
Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt, it will set them up for failure, because their cultural value of
“Safetyism”, a term created by Lukianoff and Haidt, is no match to the cultural value of
embracing hardships and suffering necessary for success.
In sum, this new science is not just an old wine in a new wineskin, but a new wine
designed to empower suffering people to build a meaningful life, despite all the obstacles and
setbacks.
You are now more than halfway through this guided tour. Read on for more helpful
information. The remaining sections will show you how the new science of suffering contribute
to a deeper understanding of meaning and positive affect in a hostile world when we are
overwhelmed with all kinds of negative experiences. The unique contribution of our research is
to embrace suffering as the foundation for wellbeing in the age of COVID-19.
I can begin with a personal example. I
often consider myself as Rocky, the iconic movie
character played by Sylvester Stallone. I could be
knocked down repeatedly, but I manage to get
back on my feet each time. I could be beaten, but
not broken. Every rejection makes me stronger.
Every blow makes me more resolved. Every pain
makes me more compassionate. I always have a
fire in my belly, fueled by both the negative
emotions of anger and frustration and the positive
emotions of hope and joy of bringing meaning
and happiness to the suffering people. In addition, through my faith, I am more than a conqueror
through Christ who strengthens me (the Bible, Rom 8:37). I am unstoppable because the forces
of natural and supernatural power are with me. My life story is my proof (Wong, 2019b).
Some of my Chinese friends considered me the Frankl for the 2lst century or China’s
Frankl. Dr. Joseph Fabry (Wong, 1999) considered me the best thing that ever happened to
logotherapy after Frankl. But I would rather consider myself one of the founding fathers of the
fledging science of suffering and flourishing, even though I knew from the very beginning that
this banner could never attract a large following as the science of happiness (Wong, 2019b).
As you face an uncertain future with so many obstacles and challenges ahead of you, the
science of suffering will give you the best preparation for survival and success. You can discover
for yourself how the additional values and skills of PP 2.0 can give you the necessary tools to
overcome when the world seems to conspire against you.
Contributions From the Positive Psychology of Happiness
It would be amiss not to mention the many contributions of positive psychology, which
focus on positive emotions (PE) and positive traits. PE contributes to flourishing and meaningful
living:
1) PE predispose one to experience meaning (King et al., 2006).
2) PE broaden one's mind on future possibilities and provides the energy to build resources
needed for a meaningful life (Frederickson et al., 2000).
3) PE contributes to flourishing according to Seligman's (2011) PERMA theory, which consists
of five elements (positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement) that
contributes to wellbeing.
PE also plays a major role in

building resilience and positive mental
health (Fredrickson, 2009). In a prospective
study of resilience and positive emotion
following the 9/11 terrorist attack,
Fredrickson and colleagues (2003) supported
the hypothesis from the broaden-and-build
theory that positive emotions are active
ingredients within trait resilience.
They found that positive emotions in
the aftermath of crises provided a buffer for
resilient people against depression and
fueled their thriving. The study participants also shared the same anxiety and distress like the
population at large after 9/11, but they experienced more positive emotions (compared to the less
resilient ones), such as gratitude and love, even during a time of crisis, much like the present
pandemic. They proposed that such emotions represent deeper or more mature kind of happiness
such as gratitude, meaning, and love, which may be better predictor of resilience than purely
positive affect.
Meaning and happiness are the two pillars of resilience according to positive psychology.
The literature has provided an abundance of evidence that meaning and positive emotions are the
key to resilience (Batthyany & Russon-Netzer, 2014; Hicks & Routledge, 2013; Wong, 2012).
For example, meaning in life and mastery as a psychological resource mediate between
reminiscence and psychological distress (Korte et al., 2012) and meaning in life served as a
protective factor for adolescent’s psychological health (Brassai et al., 2011). All the research on
post-traumatic growth (e.g. Linley & Joseph, 2004; Tedeshi, & Calhoun, 2004) also showed that
people who were able to bounce back and grow were able to make sense of the trauma and find
new meaning for their future.
Meaning and positive affect are closely connected. Reker & Wong (1988) showed that
when people do things that are meaningful, such as doing something for the greater good, that
activity would be automatically accompanied by feeling good. Schnell & Hoof (2012)
demonstrated that volunteers experienced a higher level of meaningfulness and life satisfaction.
Armstrong and colleagues (2018) also found that volunteering was a strong predictor of health,
and life satisfaction for all adults over 35 years of age. Therefore, serving some common good
was a source of meaning and wellbeing.
However, the pandemic has brought a lot of anxiety, anger, grieving, loss, and frustration
into our lives; it is difficult, if not impossible, to feel happy all the time, according to Feldmen
(2020). How could I be happy all the time when my brothers are being beaten and arrested, when
my sisters are being abused and abandoned? It would make me a heartless person if I do not feel
the pain of the downtrodden. A stronger reason why we should not only focus on happiness is
that our survival and thriving depends on embracing negative feelings.
Positive psychology has been an important source of inspiration and practical guide on
how to flourish. For example, when you are all stressed out, give yourself the permission to
enjoy some simply and healthy pleasures, such a taking a walk in the park or watching an
uplifting movie. Similarly, when you find yourself stuck in a difficult task, why not get away
from it for a while, and do something fun so that you can feel more relaxed and be in a more
positive frame of mind to find a solution. However, the concepts and tools of positive
psychology research for times of peace and prosperity may not be adequate for times of war and
adversity. That’s why you need to move on to PP 2.0 (Wong, 2020).
Contributions From the Positive Psychology of Suffering (PP 2.0)
There is already a growing literature of PP 2.0 (Wong, 2019c). Here I want highlight three areas
of research that support Frankl’s emphasis on self-transcendence, acceptance and courage or the
defiant power of the human spirit.
Figure 1
The Iron Triangle
1. The new science of transcendence. Kaufman (2020) and Wong (2016b) both provide
empirical support for the importance of self-transcendence for living a meaningful and fulfilling
life.
Frankl’s key concept that we become truly human only when our spiritual need for
serving others is awakened. Love awakens our soul and inspires us to live at a deeper level.
There are encouraging signs that more and more ordinary people are doing little things to
contribute to the wellbeing of frontline workers or to bring joy to others. Frankl’s genius was his
discovery that the most effective way to be protect oneself against traumas, or free oneself from
the hellhole that is the concentration camp, is to lose yourself in trying to help others that are
suffering from the same or even worse fate.
By offering someone a cup of water, you may be meeting an angel who will change your
life. If you have any question about the effectiveness of this remedy, try to really help someone
worse off than you.
The transformative power of self-transcendence can also be experienced in the following
ways: (a) pursuing something or someone greater than oneself, (b) expressive writing
(Pennebaker, 2017), (c) re-authoring (Hutto & Gallagher, 2017), and (d) rediscovering a sense of
awe and mystery (Schneider, 2004). Frankl’s three values and Wong’s PURE model of meaning
are essential guides to help you discover the meaning that can transcend all your existential
concerns, such as fear of death, loneliness, and meaninglessness.
2. The science of mindful acceptance. Accepting the world as it is, with all its suffering and
absurdity is a key component of a resilient mindset (Hanson, 2014); it is also an essential aspect
of existential coping (Wong, 2007). Acceptance is positively related to wellbeing (Pillay, 2016).
According Jon Kabat-Zinn (2006):
“Acceptance doesn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, mean passive resignation. Quite
the opposite. It takes a huge amount of fortitude and motivation to accept what is-
especially when you don’t like it-and then work wisely and effectively as best you
possibly can with the circumstances you find yourself in and with the resources at your
disposal, both inner and outer, to mitigate, heal, redirect, and change what can be
changed.” (p. 407)
Thus, stop fighting against reality and accept all

the problems related to the pandemic, such as physical
distancing and government-imposed lockdown. Better
still, we can accept it as a self-transcending act of
promoting the common good. Meaning and self-
transcendence can also be achieved through
appreciating what happens to us. As we embrace what
unfolds with the attitude of appreciation, we will be
able to forget our own miseries and find some thing
good, beautiful, and true that calls for our sense of
gratitude.
3. The science of existential courage. Whether you are an

entrepreneur or a frontline worker, it takes courage to face all the
risks, both expected and unexpected (Kramer, 2016; Maddi,
2013). Life can throw you an unexpected curveball or you could
suddenly find yourself in terrifying, unknown territory. It takes
courage to turn this adventure into a hero’s journey, which will
be discussed in a later chapter (chapter 10). In our battle against
COVID-19, no one can feel safe because the invisible deadly
virus can attack us from any opening, even when we dutifully
follow government guidelines. It even takes courage to visit your
family members or greet your friends because of the fear of
infection. Fear, and flight from fear contributes to a vicious cycle to increase our fear, according
to Frankl (1988). That is why we need to put on the armour of courage as a virtue.
Many people are wresting with an

existential crisis, and are confronted with the
following questions:
• To be or not to be
• To do it or not to do
• To make some change or to stay the same
• To confront or to keep quiet
• To fight or to surrender
A split second could change your destiny,
depending whether you have the courage to take
the risk. In my own life, each conquest, each expansion in the face of overwhelming danger was
the result of making the courageous decision on the Yes side. I believe that research also shows
that the courage to take risks is a better bet than the avoidance strategy (McRoberts, 2017).
Attempts to avoid or escape from the horrors of life will only lead to more pain and more
problems. All such attempts are self-destructive, from wasting one’s life in hedonic pursuit and
addictions, to becoming a victim to phobia and suicide. A better strategy is to face your worst
fear with courage and come out the other side stronger.
Life is a long journey, full of ups and downs, twists and turns. We are now going to
through the dark valley of fear ,but a bright future still beckons those who are willing to learn
new attitudes and skills to come out stronger.
In some ways, PP 2.0 is a logical extension of the positive psychology of suffering to
meet the new challenges. For example, we have extended Frederickson’s positivity (2009), to the
mature positive happiness of contentment (Wong & Bowers, 2018), from learned optimism (Lee
et al., 2019; Seligman, 1990) to tragic optimism (Frankl, 1985; Wong, 2007), and from
Emmons’s gratitude to existential gratitude in times of suffering (Jans-Beken & Wong, 2019;
Wong, 2016c).
But in other ways, PP 2.0 is based on a totally different set of assumptions such as
suffering as the foundation of wellbeing (Fowers et al., 2017, Wong, 2020), and a new
orientation regarding the resilience revolution. The main message of this book is that cultivating
a resilient mindset is our first line of defense in a hostile and dangerous world:
1) Be TOUGH mentally to face a

dangerous world–When life get tough, the
tough gets going. We need courage and
fortitude to face all the problems and risks
confronting us. You are tougher than you
think. It takes mental and emotional
toughness to get through the pandemic and
a toxic system to survive and flourish.
2) Be RESPONSIBLE for adapting to the
new reality–You need to assume full
responsibility (both personal and social) to
adapt to the reality of a constant struggle
against destructive forces to get what you
have always wanted. No one can do it for
you. You just have to make it with
whatever you have.
3) APPRECIATE what you still have–During the lockdown, it is a good time to slow down and
appreciate all the little things in life. You can taste the coffee and give thanks for food on the
table. You can smell the roses and enjoy the beauty of nature, from sunset to sunrise. You can
also review the good times in the past and express gratitude to all the people who have supported
you. You can even appreciate all your hardships as blessings in disguise.
4) Practice MINDFULNESS by receiving life at it is, with all its problems & disappointments–
When you feel stuck in a hellhole where there is no exit, the avoidance strategy only makes
things worse. You need to embrace it with openness and without judgement in order to have the
clarity of mind to do the right thing.
5) Practice the MEANING mindset by looking for what is beautiful, good and true in all
situations–Transform negative experiences into positive ones through meaning-focused coping,
from reframing to seeking a higher purpose of self-transcendence. When you find a life purpose
which is worth dying for, you will become fearless and unstoppable.
6) BELIEVE in a better future through faith and hope–When you find yourself in helpless and
hopeless situations, the only positive thing you can do is to seek consolation and help from God
or a higher power. In fact, what kept Frankl alive in Nazi concentration camp is his faith in
seeing his wife and speaking in an American university about his logotherapy. There is already a
growing literature supporting the above 6 elements of the resilient mindset (TRAMMB). You
will be able to persevere and receive your due reward if you practice the above.
How can I Find Happiness When I am Living in Pain in a Hostile

World?
It is when the rubber hits the road that you will discover whether your theory is of any
use. I live with all kinds of pain (Do you want to know all the medications I take everyday?). I
have had more than my fair share of struggles with illnesses and misfortunes, but I am not living
in pain. Even during my darkest days, I can still feel good about myself and my life. I dug my
way out of all the pain, still feeling hopeful and meaningful, and I have emerged stronger and
better. You too can have this kind of deep-rooted mature happiness.
Yes, I can hear you raising the following questions:
1. What should I do when I am perpetually frustrated in my struggle to fulfill my dreams?
2. How can I find a way out when I feel stuck in a hellhole with no way out?
3. How can I find a true and loyal friend who understands my pain and who would not
abandon me after using me?
4. How can I be happy when I am hurt by so many bad things happening to me and other
minorities?
5. How can I be motivated to work hard when all my efforts have ended in failure?
6. Where can I turn get help when I feel that I will never make it because all my competitors
are stronger and better connected?
7. How can I find meaning and hope when life is brief, fragile, full of absurdity, evil, and
suffering?
8. How can I develop the strength and resilience to overcome all my limitations, pain,
obstacles, and achieve the success and happiness I have always wanted?
If you are asking any of the above
questions, then you have come to the right
place, because my lifelong research is about
finding scientific answers to these questions.
You may feel better if you know that you are
not alone in wrestling with the mystery of
suffering–why do the wicked prosper and the
righteous suffer? People far wiser than I have
not found a satisfying answer to this perennial
human problem. All I can offer are practical
solutions based on scientific research and
clinical experience.
I have already alluded to the discovery
that digging deeper and deeper is one sure way
to discover meaning and true happiness,
because the most valuable treasures are hidden in the deepest recesses of the human soul just as
diamond and oil are hidden inside the earth. Thankfully, science has provided a guide on how to
be a successful digger (Wong & Worth, 2017; details will be explained in the chapter on coping
(Chapter 4).
Therefore, it is indeed possible to have happiness in a hostile world, but a different kind
of happiness. The era of COVID-19 has ushered in the reality of living in a hostile world with a
deadly invisible enemy lurking everywhere. We even have to be on guard with our family and
friends and practice physical distancing. In addition, quarantine may lead to suffering because of
the frustration, anger, and boredom. The fact is that when we suffer alone, the feeling of
loneliness only makes our suffering more unbearable, which further reinforces our sense of
alienation and loneliness. Dov Shmotkin (2005) was the first psychologist who raised the
question: How can we be happy in a such a hostile world?
He answered in the affirmative but suggested that there are different kinds of happiness.
For example, according to the model of evaluative space (ESM; Cacioppo et al., 1999), approach
and avoidance systems may operate as two separate and independent dimensions, and yield a
variety of interactions between positive and negative affect. This is similar to Wong’s (2012)
dual-system model, which allows for maximum behavior flexibility and emotional agility in the
face of adversity.
Another important factor of subjective wellbeing in coping with adversity is to embrace
or accept the dark side of life. This should not be equated with pessimism. It is the realistic and
adaptive response of “bracing for the worst” (King, 1998) to avoid further painful
disappointments, when optimistic expectations have been already disproved repeatedly. That is
why acceptance of the bleak situation is part of coping with what is beyond individual control
(Wong, 1993). I have just mentioned earlier that there is no limit to the depth of acceptance, and
this may be the hardest lesson to learn.
Shmotkin (2005) has provided a framework which allows for many different kinds of
happiness. For example, you can experience happiness that is high in cognitive evaluation of life
satisfaction, but low in positive affect. One can also have happiness where negative and positive
emotions co-exist.
Research on many different types of happiness is a positive new development (Storey,
2020). However, most positive psychologists still limit themselves to happiness research in
normal life circumstances. But the age of COVID-19 beckons them to explore the following
types of mature happiness which can really contribute to subjective wellbeing and health, even
when all the news we get are bad news and it is very difficult to feel positive about anything.
There is no short-term excitement and no pure positivity in these types of deep-rooted mature
happiness, but it can sustain you through any storm and allow you to maintain inner serenity and
sanity. This may be the best thing that can happen to you.
Mature Happiness Through Transforming Negative Emotions
The greatest strength of PP 2.0 is its ability to

transform all the negative experiences and
emotions into positive ones. To me, that is the
highest level of emotional intelligence (or EQ
2.0).
We can achieve such positive transformation of
negative emotions through the following steps:
This promising area of PP 2.0 is built on

the ground-breaking work done by Kashdan and
Biswas-Diener (2015). It should be most helpful
for the first responders who have to face the
waves and waves of negative emotions.
We can transform any unpleasant experiences

and emotions into positive emotions and actions.
The result is mature happiness because most
likely, it entails a calm emotion deep enough to
co-exit with a negative one.
Another way to experience mature

happiness is to feel the deep satisfaction
of discovering what makes like worth
living and then actually pursuing it. It is
never easy to find one’s calling, but you
need to keep on knocking on doors until
you find the right one. You can start by
doing the simple “mirror exercise” as
described by Steve Jobs.
You can also do the “funeral service” exercise by imagining
yourself lying in a coffin and listening to others giving a eulogy of
your life. What kind of eulogy do you want to hear from people who
know you most? For me, I would like to hear people say, “Here lies a
man who fought for the underdogs all his life and brought meaning
and happiness to suffering people”.
Such exercises of self-reflection and self-awareness can turn
your discontentment with your life into a new birth. Frankl (1985)
wrote, “So live as if you were living already for the second time and
as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act
now!” (p. 100).
Find yourself a quiet corner so that you can focus on
meditation and reflection. Don’t go too deep at the beginning because
you may not be ready to handle the powerful experiences all by
yourself. You can start by reflecting on some basic questions such as:
• What am I really good at? What did I always dream about becoming?
• What matters most of me? What may be more important than my own life?
• What do I believe? Do I only believe in myself? Will that be sufficient to get me through
life?
• To whom I really own a great debt of gratitude? What were some of his/her good deeds?
How can I show my appreciation?
• What can I do to support the frontline workers?
• How can I help others who might need my help?
• Why can’t I let go some of the things that trouble me? How can free myself from my self-
imposed prison? Isn’t inner peace more important?
With some professional help, you can get better and deeper in your meditation and your
ability to focus and relax. Right now, all you have is time; why not take the time to discover the
true meaning and happiness of life?
According to this new science of resilience the closest thing that feels like a positive state
of mind in times of suffering is mature happiness (Wong & Bowers, 2018), characterized by
calmness, contentment, inner harmony, and life satisfaction. This may be more important than
fleeting feelings of excitement for long-term success. For example, Ali Pattilo (2020) reported
that recent psychological research showed that “positive external outcomes cause only fleeting
happiness. However, daily habits that cultivate positive thinking and optimism create sustainable
happiness”. He pointed out that such actions as practicing gratitude, reviewing good memories,
and activating your social network can increase mental health and improve performance.
Similarly, Mayer Tamir et al. (2017) found that happiness is more about having
meaningful and valuable experiences than seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. In a cross-cultural
multinational study, they found that participants who experienced more of the desired emotions,
such as anger about abuse, reported greater life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms,
even when those emotions were unpleasant. “People want to feel very good all the time in
Western cultures, especially in the United States,” says Tamir, “Even if they feel good most of
the time, they may still think that they should feel even better, which might make them less
happy overall.” (American Psychological Association, 2017).
The importance of this study is that happiness may involve some unpleasant emotions,
resulting in ambivalence because of the co-existence of negative emotion with the positive
emotions. It takes practice to be able to hold two opposing thoughts and emotions with both
hands without being troubled by dissonance.
In view of the above review of literature, here are 10 types of mature happiness in times
of suffering. It will take time to understand and experience each of the following types of mature
happiness.
Conclusion
Flattening the mental health curve is the

next big coronavirus challenge. Throughout this
book, I will show you that we can do better than
simply flattening the mental health curve–we can be
stronger and better, if we practice the skills based
on Frankl’s cure and the science of flourishing
through suffering.
There are many ways to represent Frankl’s cure, but for the sake of focusing on battling
COVID-19, we need to practice daily the micro skills of self-distancing and self-transcendence,
the DNA for mental health, until this becomes your second nature. Then practice the strategies of
the 3-second rule and the 6 referral steps in positive transformation. Finally, receive the Frankl
vaccine against suffering based on the Golden and Iron triangles.
To recap, the golden triangle of meaning, love, and faith functions like food, water, and
air, necessary for positive mental health and happiness. The iron triangle of courage, acceptance,
and transcendence function as armor, protecting us from injury and enabling us to transform all
the evil into good.
This iron triangle represents the Yin half of the mandala tree and fills in the missing part
of positive psychology. Working together with the golden triangle of meaning, love, and faith,
one can then move forward in life and maintain balance, as if on a bicycle, whatever the
circumstances.
I want to conclude this rather comprehensive introduction with a symbol of mandala tree
of life, which can integrate Frankl’s cure and my PP 2.0 of suffering and flourishing.
The Mandala tree of a flourishing life.
The roots represent the process of acceptance–
the deeper it goes, the stronger the roots. It is the
process of courageous confrontation with our Shadow
and our painful memories/emotions. It is the brutal
honesty and humility of accepting our limitations and
vulnerability. There is no limit to how deep it can go
until it reaches the hidden “true self” or the sacred spot.
It is the Yin part of flourishing. It is Frankl's Tragic
Optimism of accepting the brevity and fragility of life.
The tree with its trunk, branches, and fruits
represents the process of self-transcendence– the
higher the tree grows, the more fruits it produces. It is
the process of courageous overcoming and rising above
all the limitations and absorbing love, meaning, and faith. It is the Yang part of flourishing.
There is no limit to how high it can grow until it connects with the ultimate good, truth, and
beauty. It is Frankl's concept of heroic transformation of tragedy into triumph through the quest
for meaning.
This is similar to Carl Jung's idea: "“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its
roots reach down to hell.” It is also similar to Nietzsche’s idea in Thus Spoke Zarathustra
(1885/1954):
“But it is the same with man as with the tree. The more he seeks to rise into the height
and light, the more vigorously do his roots struggle earthward, downward, into the dark,
the deep-into evil.”
This mandala tree is a symbol of the integration of both good and evil in order for the tree
of life to flourish. This can be accomplished only with the two Yin and Yang systems working
together to achieve the ideal balance and optimal wellbeing in each context, as suggested by the
dual-system model (Wong, 2012). It is helpful to keep this this mandala at the back of your
mind, as you read deeper into the content of this book.
If you are really sick and tired of getting

stuck where you are, but afraid to make any
changes, maybe you need to consider taking a
lead of faith if you really want to achieve what
you have always wanted. Without plunging
into the ocean and struggling against the
waves, you will never know how brave you
are, and you will never develop the resilience
you need
It may take longer than you initially thought
to reach your desired destination, but it is worth it. Personally, I have persevered for 50 years,
but I still have not arrived yet. It is not pleasant to be ostracised, squeezed, and attacked for
daring to blaze a new trail, but my best ideas were developed in the crucibles of suffering, for
which I am grateful. That is how I am able to leave my footprints for others who are suffering.
Now, I can now die without any regrets and have the deep satisfaction that “I have fought the
good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (The Bible, 2 Timothy 4:7).
You are tougher than you think. You are valued more than you believe. Life is a constant
battle. Yet the beauty of life is found the thick of the struggle with the joyful anticipating of
arriving at your destination.
If you find this book helpful, I invite you to
sign up for the free Positive Living Newsletter
(http://www.drpaulwong.com/positive-living-
newsletter/) which will provide you with more
resources and information on training
opportunities in logotherapy, meaning therapy,
and PP 2.0.
My vision is to have thousands of people
join me in the mission of advancing meaning,
spiritualty, wellbeing, and world peace at the
International Network of Personal Meaning and
the new Research Institute on Flourishing and
Suffering. Become a member
(www.meaning.ca) so that we can work
together to spread the encouraging news of how
to survive and thrive in the age of COVID-19.
Chapter 4 | Coping with the Mental Health Crisis of

COVID-19: A Resilience Perspective
We are now living through an unprecedented time.
COVID-19, the worst pandemic in modern history, has
fundamentally changed life as we know it. Everyone’s life
is disrupted. The virus is more contagious and deadly than
anyone had expected. There seems no end to how bad
things can become. In times of mortal danger, existential
anxiety looms larger than our common worries. It takes
nothing less than a resilience revolution to defeat the
pandemic. In this special issue, I want to share with my
readers a bold vision for positive change, and a few helpful
road signs for moving forward with courage and hope.
A great deal of helpful information has been
provided by the World Health Organization (WHO), the
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC),
and other academic resources on social distancing, self-
isolation, and anxiety reduction (e.g., Goodyear & Falendar,
2020). However, what is missing from all these guidelines
is the resilience factor—how we can become stronger as a
result of the existential crisis that confronts all of us.
Growth in the aftermath of trauma and suffering has been much elaborated in psychology
literature (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1995; Tedeschi, Park, & Calhoun, 1998; Wong & Wong, 2012). The
existential crisis of COVID-19 might save humanity from their mindless pursuits of pleasure and save the
environment from more pollution by challenging us to reflect on how we should live and how we can
become better and stronger people.
Existential positive psychology (PP 2.0) emphasizes human agency and the need for resilience to
overcome obstacles and live a meaningful life (Frankl, 1985; Robbins & Friedman, 2011). From this
positive perspective, the existential crisis may trigger the search for meaning. The preventive measure of
self-isolation may provide much needed time to discover your true self—perhaps, even to follow your
deepest yearnings to become what you were meant to be. In other words, instead of shrinking your life,
you may actually expand and enrich your life through meaning, making COVID-19 a life-changing crisis
(Frankl, 1985).
The Positive Transformation of the Hero’s Journey

Another way to understand this positive transformation is the hero’s journey according to Jung
(1946/1983) and Campbell (1949/2008). The sudden disruption of life in an unexpected way can be
viewed as part of the uncertainty and perils inherent in the human condition. The descent into the abyss
actually sets the stage for the subsequent ascent and return to the upper world, with the hero regenerated
and transformed. Campbell described a hero’s journey as:
“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder:
fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from
this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.” (p. 23)
Different from mainstream psychology, which favors the reductionist cognitive-behavioural

aspect, the humanistic-existential tradition is more holistic and inclusive of the spiritual, mythological
account of the best aspects of humanity, commonly referred to as the soul. For example, James Hillman
and colleagues (1979) emphasized that the soul naturally holds the potential for fulling our unique
callings, much as an acorn is destined to become an oak tree.
Similarly, Cottinghan (2020) is explicit about soul as the spiritual aspect of personality and as the
root cause of the human quest for meaning:
“To say we have a soul is partly to say that we humans, despite all our flaws, are fundamentally
oriented towards the good. We yearn to rise above the waste and futility that can so easily drag us
down and, in the transformative human experiences and practices we call ‘spiritual’, we glimpse
something of transcendent value and importance that draws us forward. In responding to this call,
we aim to realise our true selves, the selves we were meant to be. This is what the search for the
soul amounts to; and it is here, if there is a meaning to human life, that such meaning must be
sought.”
Frankl (1985) pointed out that this primary need for meaning has been buried by more earthly
concerns and distractions, but our spirit or soul may be awakened by suffering. From this rich literature
that celebrates the triumphant human spirit and from my own meaning research and practice (Wong,
2012a), there is sufficient reason to suggest that paradoxically, COVID-19 may be good for humanity in
the long run.
As a clinical psychologist, I can readily suggest a few practical tips on how to cope with COVID-
19 in a transformative manner, as shown in Figure 1. This paper introduces Viktor Frankl’s concept of
tragic optimism as the framework for resilience and positive transformation. Yes, you can do much better
than just protecting your life from the virus; you can rise above it and become better and stronger, if you
can apply Frankl’s wisdom to your own life.
Figure 1
Could Anything Good Come from COVID-19?
Viktor Frankl’s Concept of Tragic Optimism

Frankl (1985) describes his concept of tragic optimism in the following way:
I speak of tragic optimism, that is, an optimism in the face of tragedy and in view of the human
potential which at its best always allows for: (1) turning suffering into a human achievement and
accomplishment; (2) deriving from guilt the opportunity to change oneself for the better; and (3)
deriving from life’s transitoriness an incentive to take responsible action. (p. 162)
In the above quote, he assured us that suffering could be good for you if you had the right
understanding and the right attitude. I want to briefly discuss the three main points that could empower
you to transform your trials and tribulations into a hero’s journey, as described earlier.
After Hong Kong went through the SARS crisis in 2003, I was invited by the hospital authority of
Hong Kong in 2004 to speak on spiritual and compassionate care (Wong, 2004). My keynote was based
on Viktor Frankl’s (1985) tragic optimism. It was gratifying that this address turned out to be very
impactful because I was invited back several times to speak to all the major hospitals and universities in
Hong Kong. Thus, it is only natural for me to return to same topic on coping with the present COVID-19
crisis, but with deeper understanding.
Frankl survived Nazi death camps and proved that tragic optimism worked even in situations
much worse than what we have now. I, too, have both experienced and demonstrated the power of
unrelenting optimism (Wong, 2007; Wong, 2019).
Here are the three principles of tragic optimism:
First, Accept the Present Suffering as an Opportunity for Heroic

Achievement
Yes, even if you feel that you have not yet
accomplished anything important in life, COVID-
19 provides a rare opportunity to bring out your
inner hero. Yes, even when you feel that you are
in the deepest hell, you can still survive and
thrive, but only if you can find some meaning in
your suffering. Whether it is for your family, your
mission, or your need to overcome, this simple re-
orientation from self-concern to something worth
suffering for will direct you from the abyss to the
hilltop of heroism (Wong, 2012).
When you find your life totally disrupted,
consider it as death to all that is wrong and an
opportunity for rebirth and transformation. As
Viktor Frankl describes in his book Man’s Search
for Meaning (1985), you can choose to become
your best by making some changes in your life
and live as if you are living a second time. You are no longer satisfied with going about your daily
business without thinking about the deeper meaning of life.
You may begin to reflect on your recurrent dreams and yearnings; you may begin to search for
some value greater than yourself, such as caring for your family and serving your “neighbours.” Once
your soul or healthy inner core is awakened, it will not be silenced:
“There is something within us that is always reaching forward, that refuses to rest content with
the utilitarian routines of our daily existence, and yearns for something not yet achieved that will
bring healing and completion.” (Cottinghan, 2020)
Suffering is no long painful once seen as a willing sacrifice out of love and service (Frankl,
1985). Furthermore, meaning needs to include sacrifice in the service of the common good, which also
brings us an immense sense of satisfaction and gratitude, which could not be experienced in material
things or physical pleasures.
Throughout the history of coping with epidemics, the Christian church has a history of sacrificial
care for the people. For example, in 1527:
“When the bubonic plague hit Wittenberg, Martin Luther refused calls to flee the city and protect
himself. Rather, he stayed and ministered to the sick. The refusal to flee cost his daughter
Elizabeth her life...it is better that we should die serving our neighbor than surrounded in a pile of
masks we never got a chance to use.” (Stone, 2020)
This hero’s quest for meaning is a double blessing. On the one hand, you are on an upward
trajectory, as we strive towards a higher ground. On the other hand, you also feel good from helping your
neighbors. In a way, you will be in a no-lose situation on the hero’s quest. Even if you live a sacrificial
life and fail to achieve any earthly success, you can still have the satisfaction of living a meaningful life
(Wong, 2012).
Properly understood, the meaning quest is a spiritual journey to discover and satisfy the deepest
yearning of your soul. Therefore, you can experience inner peace and mature happiness (Wong &
Bowers, 2018) in the midst of difficulties and suffering as you pursue meaning and self-transcendence
(Wong, 2014; 2016). Here is another way to describe this transformed life:
“The good life is not one that is achieved through momentary pleasures or defensive illusions, but
through meeting suffering head on and transforming it into opportunities for meaning, wisdom,
and growth, with the ultimate objective being the development of the person into a fully-
functioning, mature being.” (Emmons, 2003, p. 156)
Second, Channel Your Negative Emotions into the Motivation for

Positive Change
COVID-19 deals us a double whammy: Not only does it deprive us of many usual sources of
happiness and create a hole in our lives, but it also fills this hole with all kinds of fears and worries.
Negative emotions can be just as contagious as the virus.
Are you sick and tired of feeling hopeless and helpless? Are you troubled by shame and guilt for
wasted time and past mistakes? Are you tired of trying to stay optimistic in the midst of doom and gloom?
Frankl suggests that you can channel these negative emotions into determination for positive change.
The first principle spells out how the search for meaning and the creative work of serving the
common good can transform the decent to hell into a hero’s triumph. The second principle spells out how
you can harness the negative motivation to make your life better by appreciating whatever life offers and
learn to improve yourself in whatever way you can.
Instead of worrying about all the things beyond your control, why not enjoy all the small delights
that life freely offers? Why not be grateful for the fresh air you breathe? Why not be filled with awe and
joy as you savor the glorious sunset or look up at the starry sky? Why not immerse yourself with beautiful
music?
Instead of wasting your time fretting in restless boredom, why not make optimal use of your time
to improve yourself? The internet offers resources for you to learn mindful meditation, yoga, and all kinds
of exercises to improve your health; it also offers resources to increase your knowledge, skills, and inner
resources. Maybe now is the time for you to pursue what you have always dreamed of.
Instead of complaining about isolation and loneliness, why not spend time renewing relationships
with your friends and spending more quality time with your family (e.g., over Skype)? One clear benefit
of a prolonged lockdown or self-isolation is that we begin to appreciate the truth that other people matter,
as Chris Peterson used to emphasize (Park, Oates, & Schwarzer, 2013). More importantly, the age of
COVID-19 teaches us that we are part of the ecology (Lewis, 2012).
Be grateful for the opportunity provided by COVID-19. Don't procrastinate. Today is the time for
you to start making baby steps to become your best self. Solitude can open up new vistas of life. Whether
you go for a walk in the park, read a spiritual book, or listen to music, you may rediscover the joy that
you seldom experience during the usual hectic pace of life.
Third, Recognize that Being Aware of Life’s Finiteness Makes You

Take Responsibility for Your Life
Yalom (2008) used to say that the idea of death can save many lives. A key concept of existential
psychology is that death anxiety can fuel our motivation to take responsible action to live and die well.
As a free agent, you can either choose to remain a miserable victim, or to choose to aim high and make
the world a better place for you and others.
Neither the government nor any other person can make that decision; only you and you alone can
decide what to do with your life, especially at a critical junction of your journey. Life is short and fragile,
but as long as you can breathe, you have the capacity to implement the first two principles of tragic
optimism to make life better.
Many of life's problems can also attribute to the failure to accept responsibility at both the
personal level and government level. Peck (1978/2012) had this to say in his bestselling book The Road
Less Travelled:
“Most people who come to see a psychiatrist are suffering from what is called either a neurosis or
a character disorder. Put most simply, these two conditions are disorders of responsibility.... The
reason for this is that the problem of distinguishing what we are and what we are not responsible
for in this life is one of the greatest problems of human existence.”
COVID-19 has helped people, who used to be divided on political, religious, or racial grounds,
come together. We are now facing a common enemy, which may devour all of us unless we are united in
combating this invisible monster, which could be lurking anywhere. In a well-connected global village,
we are all our neighbor’s keepers, and one person’s unhealthy behavior can adversely affect countless
others.
That is why the responsible use of freedom is essential for survival and wellbeing at both the
individual and societal level. The rising global death toll and the deepening economic crisis may make us
feel like we are living in an apocalypse. But hopefully, it may also mean the end of our ignorance,
complacency, and pride and the beginning of a new era of humble soul-searching and accepting
responsibilities to make the world a better place for all.
Conclusion
From a positive perspective, the worst of times can also be the best of times. COVID-19 may
indeed be a time of grace for us to change our attitudes and behaviors for the greater good: “People need
to have a sense of urgent optimism. The future can inspire wonder, awe, and hope” (Gorbis, 2016). The
disintegration of the old ways of life, coupled with the challenge of facing an uncertain and gloomy
future, should provide the needed impetus to create new values and rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
The above three principles of Frankl’s tragic optimism can equip us with the true grit and wisdom to
reaffirm inherent human dignity and value and pursue the ideal of living a meaningful and resilient life.
To summarize the above, here is my song of life in the face of death:
Why you Need the "Deep and Wide" Hypothesis of Negative

Affect to Complement the "Broaden and Build" Model of
Positive Affect
Just imagine yourself being detained in prison indefinitely without any justification. You may
imagine further that your daily routine consists of being abused by the guards, and your appeal for justice
has been rejected more than 100 times. What do you do under such circumstances?
Can you depend on positive emotions to build your resources, when your dominant feelings are
anger, frustration, and despair? If it is not longer possible to generate enough positive emotions to undo
the overwhelming negative ones, how can you maintain the energy and optimism to go on living
productively in that condition?
That is where Frankl's concept of tragic optimism and Amsel's theory of generalized persistence
come in. The key to your survival and thriving is the virtue of endurance.
The advantage of the positivity bias in enhancing wellbeing and reducing psychopathology has
been well documented (Hoorens, 2014). I am proposing that the only way we can still maintain a
positivity bias is by cultivating the virtue of endurance, which involves a number of skills, such as learned
persistence endurance (Nation et al., 1979; Wong, 2006), learned industriousness (Eisenberger, 1992),
and learned resourcefulness (Rosenbaum, 1989, 1990).
One of the downsides of living a privileged life of happiness and success is low frustration
tolerance or the lack of mental and emotional tolerance, resulting in low perseverance. At present, many
people suffer from quarantine fatigue and want to take their chances of going to their favourite activities,
even when it may endanger their own lives and those of other people.
That is why we need to help train people that have low frustration tolerance to develop a high
frustration tolerance stress threshold. This will result in lower levels of psychological distress, thus
making it easier for positive emotions to co-exist (Folkman & Moskowitz, 2000) as in the case of mature
happiness (Wong & Bowers, 2018).
The other benefit of the virtue of tolerance and endurance is that it enables people to dig deeper
into their resources and search wider for opportunities, thus, increasing the likelihood of discovering a
solution or achieving a victory. This benefit is expressed by the saying that “necessity is the mother of all
inventions”.
There are many ways to cultivate the virtue of endurance. Realistic thinking from REBT (Ellis &
Dryden, 1987) would be a good start. Acceptance training as in mindfulness is another promising way
(Wang et al., 2019). Imagination can help in resourceful training (Akgun, 2004). Gradually increasing the
difficulty or demand in any learning situation would increase industriousness (Eisenberger, 1992; Wong,
2006).
What holds you back from success is not the situation, but your lack of endurance and
persistence. If you give up, that would be the end of your dream. Only perseverance, industriousness, and
resourcefulness can eventually get you to where you want to go. The process may not be pleasant or
enjoyable, but that is the only way for you to achieve some measure of success and positive affect.
Chapter 5 | Lesson on Belief and Hope
We need hope as much as we need light in the darkest night.
We need hope as much as we need air to stay alive.
Therefore, choose to believe in hope. As long as there is hope, everything is possible:
• Hope drives away fear and anxiety.

• Hope rises above despair and depression.
• Hope overcomes all obstacles and enemies.
• Hope enables you to endure hardships and pain.
• Hope opens your eyes to discover that there is something in life that is worth fighting for.
• Hope awakens your soul to see the beauty, goodness and truth in cruel world.
• Hope always says Yes to life and No to death.
Science has shown that optimism is the most powerful motivation for us to move forward
and maintain our mental health.
The important role of hope in maintaining one’s wellbeing and health has been well
documented (Snyder, 2000). It is difficult to conceive how we can maintain hope and confidence
in the face of bleak prospects without faith, be it religious faith, trust in others, or self-
confidence. In short, one cannot survive without faith or belief.
Once you lose faith in yourself or in humanity, you will be overwhelmed by waves of
hopelessness and helplessness, which will make you more vulnerable to depression or
suicide. Faith enables you to attempt the impossible and take the first step to embark on a long
and dangerous journey. A person of faith is a person of unshakable confidence and unwavering
determination. .
Tolstoy wrote: “Faith is the sense of life, that sense by virtue of which man does not destroy
himself, but continues to live on. It is the force whereby we live.” Therefore, do not lose faith in
your own agency, in humanity, or in God. As long as you keep the faith and believe in hope, you
will be unstoppable. Yes, everything is possible with faith and hope.
We need all kinds of hope to fully benefit from its power.
Please complete the following Hope Checklist with a Yes or No answer and briefly write down
the reason for your answer:
Hope Checklist
1. I believe in God and prayer. Yes / No

2. I have confidence in science. Yes / No
3. I have trust in the help from others. Yes / No
4. I have confidence in my own efficacy. Yes / No
5. I believe that good will prevail over evil. Yes / No
6. I believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel, only if I persevere. Yes / No
7. I believe that I can always improve myself and become my best. Yes / No
8. I believe that I will achieve a breakthrough if I don't give up. Yes / No
9. I believe that life is meaningful no matter how difficult the circumstances. Yes / No
10. I believe that love can conquer everything, if I am not afraid of sacrifice. Yes / No
11. I believe in karma and the merit of doing good. Yes / No
12. I believe in the legacy of my ancestors. Yes / No
13. I believe that there is power in being united around a good cause or fighting together Yes / No
against a common enemy.
14. I believe that kindness, forgiveness, and gratitude could strengthen human relations. Yes / No
15. I believe in the wisdom of nature. We can survive if we follow nature's way. Yes / No
16. I believe that my government can make life better collectively. Yes / No
17. I believe in social responsibility and communal efforts. Yes / No
18. I believe in a better future. Yes / No
The Life Attitudes Scale

Leung, M., Steinfort, T., Vroon, E. J., & Wong, P. T. P. (2002)
Please indicate the degree which each item reflects your attitude toward life.
(Note: In order to maintain the integrity of the Strongly Agree Disagree Strongly
study all questions must be answered in order to Agree Disagree
save your results.)
1 When times get really tough, someone or SA A D SD

something will come through for me
2 In times of crisis, I tend to consider the SA A D SD
needs of others before I consider my own
needs
3 Faith in a higher power makes it easier to SA A D SD
endure pain
4 In times of great tragedy, the opportunity to SA A D SD
sacrifice myself for the common good makes
my pain more bearable
5 I have faith that eventually justice will SA A D SD
prevail, even though at times it seems
hopeless
6 I will pursue my life goals no matter how SA A D SD
much they will cost me
7 There is a dark and evil side to every person SA A D SD
8 I believe in a higher power SA A D SD
9 Life is full of setbacks SA A D SD
10 Putting my fate in God’s hands has helped SA A D SD
me gain peace in my life
11 Being an example to others motivates me to SA A D SD
endure hardships
12 Living for others helps me rise above my SA A D SD
own problems
13 It is inevitable that people will let me down SA A D SD
14 Even though reality is grim, I believe a SA A D SD
miracle could happen
15 My life has purpose because I have a unique SA A D SD
calling or mission
16 I can endure great suffering in this life SA A D SD

because I know my reward will be great in
the next life
17 We will never get rid of war, terrorism, or SA A D SD
tragedy
18 My life is worth living no matter how many SA A D SD
problems I have
19 My suffering decreases whenever I reach out SA A D SD
to help others
20 I can move forward with confidence, even if SA A D SD
most people don’t approve of my life goals
21 I want to contribute to the well-being of SA A D SD
others in spite of my own unfortunate
circumstances
22 My life is fragile, and could end at any time SA A D SD
23 Even when I am at the end of my rope, I still SA A D SD
believe that God will come to my rescue
24 Even if I were stripped of everything, I still SA A D SD
believe that my life is precious
25 In times of tragedy, I am willing to sacrifice SA A D SD
my own safety for the safety of others
26 Life has intrinsic value, regardless of SA A D SD
circumstances
27 Life is worth living no matter how difficult SA A D SD
or painful it is
28 I’d rather die fighting for something I SA A D SD
believe in than play safe
29 Even though this life is very painful, I SA A D SD
believe there is a better life beyond this one
30 I am willing to face horrible consequences in SA A D SD
order to do what is right
31 I have been put on this earth for a reason SA A D SD
32 I find satisfaction in helping others, even in SA A D SD
the midst of my own suffering
Note: The Life attitudes scale is called Life Attitude Scale during administration.
Faith Checklist
Viktor Frankl, the Prophet of Hope

Viktor Frankl, one of the most influential psychotherapists of the last century, continues
to appeal to the new generation. His prophetic voice still relevant in the age of COVID-19.
The horror of Nazi death camps allowed Viktor Frankl (1985) to discover the power of
tragic optimism (TO). He defined TO as “an optimism in the face of tragedy” (p.162). He made a
compelling case that we can ‘say yes to life’ in spite of all the tragic aspects of human existence.
After surviving the Holocaust. Frankl (1985) eloquently discussed the critical nature of
attitude toward suffering. He would not endorse positive illusions or Pollyanarish optimism. To
him, an optimistic attitude was literally a defiant stance to be embraced in the face of terror:
“He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp. Dostoevsky said once
‘There is one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.’ These words
frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose
behavior in camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner
freedom cannot be lost. It can be said that they were worthy of their sufferings; the way
they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom –
which can not be taken away – that makes life meaningful and purposeful.” (Frankl,
1985, p. 87)
I consider Frankl as a prophet of hope. The following passages from my chapter on Frankl
(Wong, 2007) explains how TO is important for resilience and mature happiness:
"Unlike other kinds of hopes, TO cannot be crushed by adversities or catastrophes,

because like true gold, it is purified in the crucible of suffering and rooted in an abiding
inner value. Frankl (1985) aptly added: “The consciousness of one’s inner value is
anchored in higher, more spiritual things, and cannot be shaken by camp life” (p. 83).
Components of Tragic Optimism
Based on Frankl’s writings, I have identified five essential components that comprise TO:
(a) Affirmation of the meaning and value of life, regardless of circumstances, (b) Acceptance of
what cannot be changed, (c) Self-transcendence in serving a higher purpose, (d) Faith or trust in
God and others, (e) Courage to face adversity. These components can also be found in the
clinical literature on trauma as well as the larger literature of humanities.
Gabriel Marcel once said that “The only genuine hope is hope in what does not depend
on ourselves, hope springing from humility and not from pride.” Frankl has personally
demonstrated that we can restore hope in hopeless situations through surrendering to the calling
of meaning.
I have defined and refined the components of TO and demonstrated empirically the
dialectic/paradoxical nature of TO: In our state of despair and helplessness, we discover the
power of meaning and faith; in our brokenness, we hear the calling to bring healing to others; in
our suffering, we encounter joy and serenity; and in our fears and vulnerability, we discover the
defiant, heroic courage.
The theory and research on tragic optimism answer many of the issues raised by Peterson
(2000) and suggest a new direction for optimism research as well as for positive psychology. TO
is in the vanguard of developing a mature positive psychology for all humanity, including the
millions who are suffering and dying each day.
Future directions in TO research should include implementing TO in developing
countries (Wong, 2003), studying the defiant human spirit and courage (Wong, 1995), and
applying TO in working with trauma victims and dying patients.
Since TO serves as a prototype of mature positive psychology for the suffering masses, it
warrants a closer look at the contribution of tragic optimism to mature happiness and personal
growth in the midst of adversities and traumas."
Chapter 6 | Lesson on Responsibility: You Need

Relationships now More Than Ever
In a time of widespread lockdown,

self-isolation, and physical distancing, it is
more important than ever to manage marriage
relationships well, which may be our most
important source of support.
Don't let the 10% of disagreement or
dissatisfaction in your relationship destroy
the other 90%. That 10% may break your
heart over and over again, but that is how the
light shines through.
When stress hormones flood your body and shuts down the rational part of your brain,
your response to questions may be harsh in tone and you may react to criticisms with anger.
In times of this, only spiritual reflection can tame the animal instinct in us. Mindfulness and
prayer may grant us the grace we badly need to appreciate and forgive each other.
Life is not a matter of black or white, but a mixture of both. A good life rests on your
ability to embrace the inevitable dark side of relationships and transform it into something
beautiful.
The government stay-home order to contain COVID-19 creates both a crisis and
opportunity for couples. Being together 24 hours a day could create both conflicts and time for
intimate conversations.
That is why we have the responsibility to learn how to stay together, rather than give up
on each other in spite of all the pressures and conflicts.
No one is perfect; therefore, no marriage is perfect. That is why existential positive

psychology or PP 2.0 teaches that we must take the good with the bad, embrace and enjoy each
other–warts and all– by practicing the basic yin-yang principle of holding positives and negatives
with two open hands simultaneously at all times.
In other words, we need to focus on each other's strengths and desirable aspects; but that
does not make our weaknesses go away. The good news is that we all can repair our broken
pieces and improve ourselves daily. We also need to encourage each other for such efforts of
personal growth, even though we can never be perfect.
Responsibility Scale
Paul T. P. Wong & Gokmen Arslan
Please reflect for a few minutes and respond to the following statements as truthfully and
accurately as you can by circling the appropriate answer according to the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Strongly Disagree Moderately Neither Moderately Agree Strongly
Disagree Disagree Agree nor Agree Agree
Disagree
1. I always manage to get things done as promised rather than making 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

excuses.
2. When I am responsible for something, I always find ways to get it 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
done even without the necessary resources and help.
3. I am responsible to do my part to make the world a better place. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
4. I am conscientious in whatever I do, big or small. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
5. I have responsibility for my family, society, the world, and planet 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
earth to the extent of my ability and influence.
6. I discipline myself to make the best use of my time doing 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
meaningful things.
7. I am morally accountable for how I treat others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8. I am accountable for all my decisions and actions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Chapter 7 | Lesson on Appreciation–

The Magic Power of Gratitude: You better believe it!
How can I keep being positive when

everything goes wrong? How can I be happy
when thousands of people are dying? True,
very true. I hear you and share your sadness.
But I want challenge you to entertain
the possibility that there is a magical power in
gratitude. You all know that gratitude is the
most robust positive psychology intervention,
but its real power has not been really tested
empirically.
When the whole world is enveloped in
dark clouds, you have everything to gain and
nothing to lose by when you willingly decide to
experience the magic of gratitude.
Let’s me share a little bit of my experience. I was once kept in an isolation room because
I was infected with a very contagious virus in the hospital during my stay after a surgical
procedure. No visitor was allowed in my room. How did I spend my days in complete solitude?
Apart from my creative writing, prayer, and meditation, I spent a lot of time counting God’s
blessings. Yes, I even tried to write a poem about God’s grace and blessings in my life. The
simple exercise of counting my blessings magically transformed my mood from sadness to
gratitude and joy. That’s magical.
“Gratitude is About the Origin”

The above quote is from Robert Emmons, the foremost authority on gratitude in the
entire world. The gist of that quote is that gratitude comes from recognizing the origin of all
things good in our lives.
No matter how bad the circumstances, there are still many good things for which we can
give thanks for. There is an origin, a source for all the good things we enjoy – food, medicine,
friends, and even life itself.
It is a simple matter of changing our focus. We only see what we focus on. If we focus on
the good things in life, we can always find them.
The second step is to appreciate the good things, until our heart is full of gratitude and
joy. Most people do not realize that Viktor Frankl recognized that concept many years ago; that
the second enduring value or meaning in life is to experience life with appreciation – whether it
comes in the form of social interactions, food on the table, or wearing something warm. All good
things come from somewhere.
Even all the good aspects of unpleasant, even painful experiences come from somewhere;
they come from our awareness of the benefits of suffering in helping us to grow –
psychologically and spiritually.
Frankl like to cite Nietzsche that “What does not us make us stronger.” This is just one of
the paradoxical truths of existential positive psychology (PP 2.0) as illustrated in figure 1.
Figure 1
Paradoxical Truths of Existential Positive Psychology
Different Types of Gratitude

It is difficult to fully understand gratitude. In fact, we can never know for sure whether gratitude
was part of our nature or planted in our heart by our parents. Let’s assume that there are different
types of gratitude as shown in figure 2.
Figure 2
A 4-Factor Model of Gratitude
Even if you are an atheist, you can still consider what magic might happen if you thank
God as the creator of all life and the source of all the blessings we simply take for granted, from
the fresh air to the rain and the sun. Here is a brief list of things we can thank God for (figure 3):
Figure 3
A list of things that we can thank God for
This existential gratitude eventually brings us back to God as illustrated in figure 4.

Figure 4
The Origins of Existential Gratitude
Gratitude Exercises
The most popular gratitude exercise is Martin Seligman’s Three Good Things (e.g.
https://happyproject.in/three-good-things/ ). It may be difficult to find three good things each day
when you find yourself in a “hellhole”, but it always possible to discover three hidden blessings
in all the problems you have to endure. Try the following existential gratitude exercises:
• Discover three opportunities in today’s troubled world.
• Express thanks to someone who still cares for you in difficult times.
• Feel grateful that you still have the gift of life, because as long as you can breathe, there
is always hope.
• Give thanks that this disaster brings out the generosity and altruism in so many people.
• Feel grateful for all the frontline healthcare workers who risk their own lives to care for
others.
• Feel grateful for our government, who are able to take care of their citizens and rally all
the resources in the mortal combat against the pandemic.
I bet you will feel much better after doing the above exercise for just 3 minutes a day. That is
the magic power of gratitude.
Existential Gratitude Scale

This survey is developed to assess the level of existential gratitude. Please read each statement and
indicate to what extent each item characterizes your own life. You may respond by circling / clicking the
appropriate number according to the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Completely Disagree Somewhat Neither Somewhat Agree Completely
disagree disagree agree nor agree agree
disagree
1. My life is full of hardships and suffering, but I can still count my blessings.
2. I am grateful for my life even in times of suffering.
3. I am resentful that life has treated me unfairly.
4. I am grateful that my inner resources have increased as a result of overcoming adversities.

5. I wish that I had never been born.
6. I am grateful for the people in my life, even for those who have caused me much pain.
7. I still feel bitter for all the bad experiences that have happened to me.
8. I am thankful that I have something to live for, even though life has been very hard for me.
9. I am grateful that every crisis represents an opportunity for me to grow.
10. I give thanks at the end of each day, even when nothing went my way.
11. I have learned the importance of gratitude through suffering.
12. I am grateful that suffering has strengthened my faith and character.
13. In desperate times, I am grateful for my faith that I will overcome.
Items 3, 5, and 7 need to be reverse coded before calculating a mean score for Existential Gratitude
Chapter 8 | Lesson on Meaning:

What is the Meaning of Life?
What is the meaning of life,

when you are confined to a room or a bed
and struggling with every breath?
What is the point of living,

when so many people are dying
and you may not see another sunrise?
Is life nothing more than just breathing?

More than mere feeding and elimination?
More than being kept alive by machines?
These questions kept me awake

even when my body needed sleep.
The answers came to me in a lucid dream.
Several old friends smiled at me,

reminding me of the good time together,
They came from different period of time.
I recalled the exciting moments,

of my first degree, first love, first job,
and what I had done for others.
I remembered the happy day,

when I first heard God's call,
and many answered prayers.
Most of the meaningful moments,

were hidden deep in my memory,
and filled my heart with tears and joy.
The meaning of life can be found,

in those precious moments and,
the knowledge that I am not alone.
Meaning Management Theory and Death Acceptance

It is okay to be anxious about death, but it is better to manage it productively. Every day,
we learn about people dying from this mysterious killer–COVID-19. Nobody knows for sure
how to prevent it, let alone how to cure it. Each time you step outside your home, you may get
infected. The best we can do is though social distancing and not touching anything that has been
touched by other people.
It is perfectly understandable why people are scared, and death anxiety has increased
dramatically since January 2020. But paradoxically, the prospect of death may also awaken your
sleeping soul and make you alive to the true value of life. You may begin to seriously consider
such questions like:
"What should I do with the time I still have, so that I will not be regretful when I die?"
"What ideal do I want to achieve with my death, if I were granted the magical powers to
accomplish one death wish?"
Consider the above questions as an exercise to discover your meaning and value in life.
Here are some passages about how to accept your mortality by using your strengths to live each
day fully:
"If we have lived a meaningful life and achieved ego-integrity (Erikson, 1982), we are
able to face death without fear However, when we have too many regrets and a profound sense
of failure and despair, then death is feared, because of the fear that we have never really lived
when death beckons us (Tomer & Eliason, 2006a, Wong, 2000).
By accepting our mortality, we declare our intention to invest our energy and time in
living the good life rather than defending ourselves against the inevitable death. Ideally, death
acceptance should set us free from anxiety and energize us to live with vitality and purpose. By
the same token, when we have lived a wonderful life and completed our life’s mission, we would
be prepared to face death. Ultimately, death acceptance is one of the cornerstones for the good
life.
However, we can never be completely free from death anxiety. As we grow older, we
brace ourselves for the bad news with every annual physical checkup. With aging parents, we are
always prepared for their death and burial. Somehow, the specter of death is always hovering
over us, reminding us of our mortality. No matter how we rationalize or think about death, our
instinctive reaction is rarely one of unalloyed joy.
The relationships between death acceptance and death fear are complex and dynamic.
They may co-exist under some circumstances like a raining cloud in an otherwise blue and sunny
sky. That is why death acceptance and death anxiety are not simply opposites (Ray & Najman;
1974; Tomer & Eliason, 2006b; Wong et al, 1994).
In sum, we are all confronted with two fundamental psychological tasks: to protect
ourselves against the terrors of loss and death (e.g., managing death anxiety) and to pursue the
good life of living meaningfully and abundantly (e.g., managing death acceptance). These twin
tasks of living well and dying well are interconnected in important ways because of the intimate
relationships between the meanings of life and the meanings of death.
This chapter makes the case that the most promising way to achieve these two major
psychological tasks is through managing the meanings of life and death. The positive and
proactive tendency to create a happy and meaningful life serves a growth-oriented function.
The positive individuals would be willing to confront the crisis and create opportunities for
personal development. Their tendency is to take on the difficult tasks and risk even death in
order to achieve some significant life goals, such as competencies, self-efficacy, creativity or a
higher purpose.
When individuals are primarily propelled by an irresistible urge towards self-
actualization and fulfillment, then less energy is invested in defensive mechanisms, even though
death anxiety may still be present. Therefore, meaning-management theory predicts that if one
wants to live a vital and meaningful life, it is better to focus on the positive tendency of personal
growth rather than on defensive mechanisms against death fear. MMT also predicts that the best
way to reduce death anxiety is to facilitate death acceptance and positive tendencies."
The above passage is cited from Wong, P. T. P. (2007). Meaning management theory and
death acceptance. In A. Tomer, E. Grafton, & P. T. P. Wong (Eds.), Existential and spiritual
issues in death attitudes (pp. 65-87). New York, NY: Erlbaum.
What are the Stages of Grieving?

The experience of loss or death is an inevitable aspect of life. Any loss is painful –
whether it is the loss of a family pet or the death of a loved one. Since nothing in life is
permanent, every relationship and every life will end in death, even if everything is
perfect.
The stronger the attachment or bond, the greater the pain when it ends. What is the
most helpful way to grieve the loss?
My 4-stage model focuses on the transformation process through meaning. Hope
that you can gain some understanding of productive grieving:
“(1) Mourning the loss: This involves primarily the affective process, which begins with
numbness and shock, moving through the roller-coaster ride of intense emotions, and
finally settling into a subdued and serene sense of sadness. This process is not linear;
however, the cycles may become less frequent and less intense. Recalling and reliving the
positive moments may mitigate against the feelings of loss. Often, grieving involves
many emotions, such as guilt, anger, shame, regrets, hostility, and sadness. Clarifying
emotions is part of the process. Sorting out and reconciling conflicting feelings contribute
to recovery.
(2) Accepting the loss: This is the most basic and most complex task. To accept the
finality of the loss, the process occurs not just at the cognitive level, but also at the
social, behavioral, existential, spiritual, and emotional levels.
Cognitive acceptance involves more than an intellectual understanding that death is final;
it also requires some level of cognitive resolution to reduce instances of intrusive
thoughts and ruminations.
Spiritual acceptance may involve establishing a spiritual connection with the
deceased and experiencing an inner vision of a spiritual union.
Emotional acceptance may be most difficult to achieve when the initial emotional
attachment is very strong, even when there is a replacement for the attachment. One can
truly let go, only when one has achieved acceptance at the emotional level.
(3) Adjusting to the loss: This involves the process of making a series of mental and
behavioral changes to adapt to the new dynamics within the family and in the larger
social network. It also involves working through personal and interpersonal issues, such
as forgiveness of self and others, resolving interpersonal conflicts, and re-establishing
some relationships.
(4) Transforming the loss: This process is fundamental to recovery. It moves from
struggling with the loss to incorporating it into the new reality and future plans, such as
redefining one’s self-identity and life goals. This process will involve reinvesting one’s
psychological energy, making new friends, developing new plans, and engaging in
productive activities.
Basically, it involves the discovery of new meanings and the reconstruction of

existing meaning structures. It requires the re-authoring of one’s life story. In short, it
provides not only a new perspective for the loss but also for narratives of one’s past and
future. I consider this transformation necessary for grief resolution, restoration, and
personal growth.”
The above passage is cited from Wong, P. T. P. (2008). Transformation of grief through
meaning: Meaning-centered counseling for bereavement. In A. Tomer, G. T. Eliason, &
P. T. P. Wong (Eds.), Existential and spiritual issues in death attitudes (pp. 375-396).
New York, NY: Erlbaum.
The Other Side of Sadness
In the last few days, I have been grieving the death of my

friend and first Ph.D. student George Dimistroff (Ashburnham
Funeral Home, 2020). It must have been a difficult way to die
alone in the intensive care unit without having a chance to say a
final goodbye to his dear wife Sheila and his children.
Life would be very difficult in the days ahead for his
family without George. A vital part of their lives was suddenly
ripped apart from them by a strange and evil disease.
But all that we truly want in life is on the other side of
suffering, I have always maintained that concept all throughout
my research career.
I am glad that Dr. Bonano's (2010) research supports my
thesis. His research also concludes that grieving can actually lead
to a new sense of meaning in life, but he did not articulate the
transformative process of grief.
The following passages are cited from my paper Transformation of grief through
Meaning: Meaning-Cenered Counseling for Bereavement (2008):
"Meaning management is essential to this transformative process. In order to move

forward, we have to somehow reconstruct our meaning-systems in order to adapt to different set
of realities following bereavement. This evolution of meaning in response to loss continues so
that we can maintain some sense of coherence in the midst of change and loss. We can
experience positive changes, when the dead are weaved into the fabric of life, and the past is
integrated with the future as the basis for self-identity.
Meaning-Centered Counseling (MCC) emphasizes the transcendental function of grief,
which awakens one’s spiritual and existential yearnings, and spurs one to rise above the painful
experiences of mourning. Recovery always involves the reconstructing of painful and sorrowful
experiences through the transformation of assigned meanings.
One can never go back to the past. Therefore, recovery does not mean a return to the
normal life before the bereavement. True recovery actually means that the bereaved person has
found new meaning and purpose, which enables the person to reach a higher level of maturity.
In C. S. Lewis’s A Grief Observed (1961), he documents the transformation from
overwhelming grief and anger at God to a new understanding of God and life. Such
transformation can happen to anyone who is open to the spiritual reality beyond the physical
realm.
There is no medicine, no magic, and no logic to expel the affliction of bereavement. The
only hope is to transform it into a poem, a song, or a story that makes us feel like human beings
again. That tender feeling of love and liberty makes life worth living in the wasteland of death.
Even when everything is taken away from us, and when we are dying alone, we can hear
the angels singing, and feel the peace from heaven. I take great comfort in the promise of Jesus:
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, The Bible, NIV).
Healing is a gift, because it can neither be purchased nor manufactured, no matter how
resourceful we are. It remains shrouded in mystery, maybe because its origin is spiritual and
transcendental. However, we do know that we are likely to receive this gift, when we stretch our
hands heavenward in our brokenness. The blessings of grieving constitute part of positive
existential psychology or mature positive psychology (Wong, 2001a), which includes such
phenomena as meaning-based post-traumatic growth (Wong, 2003b) and tragic optimism (Wong,
2001b). The rigor of positive psychology research coupled with the profound concepts of
existential psychotherapy can break new grounds in achieving a more hopeful understanding of
grieving and healing.
I want to conclude by quoting from Ringma (2000) who eloquently expanded on the idea
of the gift of healing:
“Nouwen suggests that ‘finding new life through suffering and death: that is the good
news.’ Christ’s death mirrors precisely that message. Suffering may seem senseless, but it
need not have the last word. New hope can spring up from the ruins of previous
expectations and plans. New life can come from the greatest disappointments. But this
can only come if we embrace the pain of our dashed hope and grieve our losses to the
point of relinquishment. It is at that place, with nothing in our hands, that good gifts will
come our way.” (p. 128)
In the final analysis, grieving is the pain of letting go of love. Grieving is also the pain of
searching for what has been lost. In the process, we discover something far more precious than
we ever knew. Indeed, blessed are the broken hearted, for they will find healing and
transformation. This chapter proposes that the good grief can set us free and make us grow."
Personal Meaning Profile

This questionnaire measures people’s perception of personal meaning in their lives.
Generally, a meaningful life involves a sense of purpose and personal worthiness. However,
people often differ in what endows their lives with meaning.
The following statements describe potential sources of personal meaning. Please read
each statement carefully and indicate to what extent it characterizes a source of meaning in your
own life. You may respond by circling the appropriate number according to the following scale:
Or as in Wong & Fry, The Human Quest for Meaning Edition 1:

This questionnaire measures people’s perception of personal meaning in their lives.
Generally, a meaningful life involves a sense of purpose and personal significance. However,
people often differ in what they value most, and they have different ideas as to what would make
life worth living.
The following statements describe potential sources of meaningful life. Please read each
statement carefully and indicate to what extent each item characterizes your own life. You may
respond by circling the appropriate number according to the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Not at all Moderately A great
deal
For example, if going to parties does not contribute to your sense of personal meaning,
you may circle 1 or 2. If taking part in volunteer work contributes quite a bit to the meaning in
your life, you may circle 5 or 6.
It is important that you answer honestly on the basis of your own experience and beliefs.
1. I have a good family life 1234567
2. I believe I can make a difference in the world 1234567
3. I am at peace with God 1234567
4. I have learned that setbacks and disappointments are an inevitable part of 1234567
life
5. I believe that life has an ultimate purpose and meaning 1234567
6. I engage in creative work 1234567
7. I am successful in achieving my aspirations 1234567
8. I pursue worthwhile objectives 1234567
9. I strive to achieve my life goals 1234567
10. I care about other people 1234567
11. I have someone to share intimate feelings with 1234567
12. I believe in the value of my pursuits 1234567
13. I seek to actualize my potentials 1234567
14. I have found that there is rough justice in this world 1234567
15. I strive to make this world a better place 1234567
16. I am at peace with myself 1234567
17. I have confidants to give me emotional support 1234567
18. I relate well to others 1234567
19. I have a sense of mission or calling 1234567
20. I seek to do God’s will 1234567
21. I like challenge 1234567
22. I believe that human life is governed by moral laws 1234567
23. It is important to dedicate my life to a cause 1234567
24. I take initiative 1234567

25. I am able to make full use of my abilities 1234567
26. I strive to do my best in whatever I am doing 1234567
27. I have a number of good friends 1234567
28. I am trusted by others 1234567
29. I am committed to my work 1234567
30. I have a purpose and direction in life 1234567
31. I seek higher values—values that transcend self-interests 1234567
32. I am highly regarded by others 1234567
33. I seek to glorify God 1234567
34. I am enthusiastic about what I do 1234567
35. Life has treated me fairly 1234567
36. I accept my limitations 1234567
37. I am at peace with my past 1234567
38. I have a mutually satisfying loving relationship 1234567
39. I have a sense of coherence and continuity in my life 1234567
40. I do not give up when I encounter setbacks or obstacles 1234567
41. I am altruistic and helpful 1234567
42. I am liked by others 1234567
43. I have found someone I love deeply 1234567
44. I strive toward personal growth 1234567
45. I bring happiness to others 1234567
46. I accept what cannot be changed 1234567
47. I am persistent and resourceful in attaining my goals 1234567
48. I value my work 1234567
49. I make a significant contribution to society 1234567
50. I contribute to the well-being of others 1234567
51. I believe in afterlife 1234567
52. I believe that one can have a personal relationship with God 1234567
53. I attempt to leave behind a good and lasting legacy 1234567
54. I believe that there is order and purpose in the universe 1234567
55. I am treated fairly by others 1234567
56. I have received my fair share of opportunities and rewards 1234567
57. I have learned to live with suffering and make the best of it 1234567
The New Search for Meaning Scale (SMS) 2019

Please reflect for a few minutes and respond to the following statements as truthfully and
accurately as you can by circling the appropriate answer according to the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Strongly Disagree Moderately Neither Moderately Agree Strongly
Disagree Disagree Agree nor Agree Agree
Disagree
1. I am trying to understand why I have problems with close 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

relationships.
2. I am seeking confirmation for my mission or purpose in life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
3. I am searching for reasons for living in order to survive my ordeal. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
4. I am struggling to understand why bad things happen to good 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
people.
5. I want to find out why I am not satisfied with my life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
6. Search for the meaning of life is a total waste of time. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
7. I am seeking to grasp the meaning of suffering and death. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8. I want to find out what really matters in every stage of my life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
9. I am always searching for ways to make a valuable contribution to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
the world.
10. There is no point in striving, because life is so hard and so short. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
11. I am seeking to find my out what life demands of me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
12. I am trying to figure out my rightful place in the world. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Chapter 9 | Lesson on Mindfulness and the

Power of Acceptance
FEAR NOT! TAKE A DEEP BREATH!
Mindfulness is a natural response to dangers.
We are wired to freeze before we decide to

fight or flight. The moment of "freezing"
makes all the difference between life and
death.
According to Viktor Frankl: “Between

stimulus and response there is a space. In that
space is our power to choose our response. In
our response lies our growth and our
freedom.”
You have the power to determine what to focus on and how to respond to any situation.
According my analysis of the evolution of coping (Wong, 1993), we have been evolved
from "fight or flight" to more cognitive and more flexible ways to coping with dangers, such as
using creative, proactive, collective, existential, and spiritual coping.
Prayer and mindfulness are examples of spiritual coping (see
http://growmindfulness.com/). But what is mindfulness? According to Berkeley's Center for the
Greater Good (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition):
"Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts,

feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing
lens. Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that we pay attention to our
thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s
a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment. When we practice
mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than
rehashing the past or imagining the future."
Mindfulness can turn your fear into calmness and sadness into joy. But it does not come
easy; you need to practice the following spiritual skills, represented by the acronym OCEAN:
Open-mindedness. Focus on the present with an open mind. Pay attention to the present
moment, as life unfolds. Pay attention to what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch right now.
Describe what the water tastes like when you drink it, or what you see when you regard the
person who stands before you. Your ability to focus determines what you will find. Openness
means the absence of biases and prejudice.
Compassion. See others as people like you. We are all struggling with our problems. We are all
on the same train, heading to the same destination–death. When you see others as members of
the same family coping with the stress of life, your heart will sense compassion.
Empathy. People are complicated and difficult to understand. When you feel annoyed with
someone, remember that they may have their reasons for behaving that way. Others may feel the
same way about you because they don't understand your intention and reason. Empathy simply
means I try to understand you by trying to be in your shoes.
Acceptance. Accept life as it is. Accept others as they are. Accept yourself, warts and all.
(Please see write up on the power of acceptance.)
Non-judgement. Take a deep breath and see what is going on without judgement. You can do
that only by "self-detachment" or "self-distancing" according to Frankl. Look at each person with
a fresh pair of eyes, without all the past baggage of painful memories, problem-saturated stories,
and strong emotions of love or hate.
When you practice the above skills, you will find it easier to practice other skills included
in BRAMMT.
This may not make sense to you and contrary to what have learned about strength and
happiness, but hear me out, and you may be pleasantly surprised. Did you know that there was a
forbidden fruit after all, and the consequence of eating it was deadly?
COVID-19 was a disaster waiting to happen, because we have ignored the fundamental
truth that there are inherent limitations to human beings. When we play the role of God and
entertain the false confidence that with science, wealth, and power we can do anything, there will
be a global catastrophe sooner or later.
Now COVID-19 has brought mighty nations to their knees in order to awaken us to the
truth that needs to be recognized; that we need to live within human limitations and we are
morally accountable to a higher power, whether you call it God, Jesus, Buddha, or Nature.
That is why I have been a weeping prophet in the last 4 decades, warning people of the
dangers of the broad way of positive illusions and shallow happiness, and the need to follow the
narrow path of the Logos, the Way, or the Positive Psychology of Suffering (PP 2.0) (See Wong,
2019).
Paradoxically, there is power and freedom in accepting our limitations, frailty, and
vulnerability. I know what I am taking about because I have spent my entire research career on
learning how to develop resilience, hope, and mental health through accepting stress, sickness,
suffering, aging, and death.
My keynote at the Australia Positive Psychology Conference many years ago was on
Acceptance and wellbeing (Wong, 2012 ). I hope that more positive psychology researchers will
pick up this topic.
We may have the best cruise ship, the fastest computer, and all the pleasures money and
technology can offer, but if we don't recognize our limitations, vulnerability, and inevitable
suffering; and if we don't want to cultivate the necessary virtues of humility, responsibility,
compassion, and faith in something bigger than all of us; we will not find true happiness and we
will not flourish in any sustainable way.
One of the basic principles of developing a resilience mind and mature happiness is
acceptance. The moment we accept and embrace our limitations, vulnerabilities, and suffering is
the moment we will be free from anxiety, fear, shame and guilt. Acceptance is one of the gates
we must pass in order to survive and thrive.
Here are a few things that you could reflect on:
1. Do you believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel?

2. Can you see a silver lining surrounding the dark cloud over you?
3. Do you feel better when you share your vulnerability with someone?
4. Are you willing to accept the help or support from others?
5. Are you willing to pray for God's help in a dangerous pandemic?
6. Are you preparing yourself for the possible loss of a loved one?
7. Are you able to face your own mortality with calmness?
8. Are you prepared for the possibility of testing positive?
When you are able to accept the worse case scenario with a smile, you would then be
liberated from all your fears and you would be ready to live freely and fully.
Coping Schemas Inventory-Revised (CSI-R)
© P. T. P. Wong, G. T. Reker, and E. J. Peacock, 2006
To what extent do you usually use each of the following strategies to cope with ?
In making your rating, use the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5
A Moderate A Considerable
Not at All A Little Bit A Great Deal
Amount Amount
(Never) (Rarely) (Occasionally) (Often) (Always)
Please circle the appropriate number for each coping strategy:
1. Rely on others to do what I cannot do myself. 1 2 3 4 5
2. Do something about the situation. 1 2 3 4 5
3. Wish that I could undo the past. 1 2 3 4 5
4. Express my feelings and thoughts. 1 2 3 4 5
5. Confront the problem by taking appropriate actions. 1 2 3 4 5
6. Do what is necessary to maintain a personal relationship with God. 1 2 3 4 5
7. Believe that I can communicate with God. 1 2 3 4 5
8. Run away from the problem or situation. 1 2 3 4 5
9. Do what is necessary to fulfill the requirements of the situation. 1 2 3 4 5
10. Accept what has happened because eventually things will work out as 1 2 3 4 5
well as can be expected.
11. Break down the problem into smaller steps and work on one at a time. 1 2 3 4 5
12. Learn to live with the problem, because nothing much can be done 1 2 3 4 5
about it.
1 2 3 4 5
13. Confront and understand my own feelings. 1 2 3 4 5
14. Accept/tolerate life as it is and make the best of it. 1 2 3 4 5
15. Learn to accept the negative realities of life. 1 2 3 4 5
16. Suppress or avoid facing my own emotions. 1 2 3 4 5
17. Air my complaints and frustrations. 1 2 3 4 5
18. Feel guilty for what has happened. 1 2 3 4 5
19. Practice controlled breathing techniques. 1 2 3 4 5
20. Change my negative attitude toward this problem into a positive one. 1 2 3 4 5
21. Change my pace to suit the situation. 1 2 3 4 5
22. Rely on people who have successfully coped with the problem. 1 2 3 4 5
23. Take the problem into my own hands by fighting back. 1 2 3 4 5
24. Look at unavoidable life events as part of my lot in life. 1 2 3 4 5
25. Engage in mental exercise (such as imagery) to reduce tension. 1 2 3 4 5
26. Share my feelings with a confidant. 1 2 3 4 5
27. Try to reduce my anxious thoughts. 1 2 3 4 5
28. Seek help and direction from God. 1 2 3 4 5
29. Actively seek out information on my own. 1 2 3 4 5
30. Wish that I were a different person. 1 2 3 4 5
31. Feel ashamed for my inadequacies. 1 2 3 4 5
32. Put off doing something about the problem. 1 2 3 4 5
33. Accept the present situation because no matter how bad things are
they could always be worse. 1 2 3 4 5
34. Wish that a miracle or something fantastic would happen. 1 2 3 4 5
35. Believe that God will answer prayers. 1 2 3 4 5
36. Believe that there must be a purpose in the suffering I experience. 1 2 3 4 5

37. Make a plan of action and follow it. 1 2 3 4 5
38. Look to others for moral support. 1 2 3 4 5
39. Ignore the problem and pretend that it doesn’t exist. 1 2 3 4 5
40. Avoid thinking about the problem or things that are upsetting. 1 2 3 4 5
41. Wish that the situation were different. 1 2 3 4 5
42. Believe that God watches over me. 1 2 3 4 5
43. Mentally transform the situation into something less threatening. 1 2 3 4 5
44. Rely on available connections to solve the problem. 1 2 3 4 5
45. Follow religious principles. 1 2 3 4 5
46. Try not to focus on likely negative outcomes. 1 2 3 4 5
47. Practice muscle relaxation techniques. 1 2 3 4 5
48. Change my attitude in view of this problem. 1 2 3 4 5
49. Feel sorry for what I have done. 1 2 3 4 5
50. Be determined and persistent in attacking the problem. 1 2 3 4 5
51. Seek emotional support from others. 1 2 3 4 5
52. Receive practical help from friends. 1 2 3 4 5
53. Restructure my actions in light of the problem. 1 2 3 4 5
54. Pray to God. 1 2 3 4 5
55. Depend on the experts and follow their advice. 1 2 3 4 5
56. Look at the humorous side of this problem. 1 2 3 4 5
57. Try to look at the problem from a new perspective. 1 2 3 4 5
58. Rearrange my activities to accommodate the situation. 1 2 3 4 5
59. Believe that there is meaning and purpose to the things that happen to 1 2 3 4 5
me.
1 2 3 4 5
60. Release my pent-up emotions.
1 2 3 4 5
61. Double my effort to change the situation. 1 2 3 4 5
62. Don’t worry about the past or the future, accept each day as it comes.
1 2 3 4 5
63. Develop better time management skills so that I will be more efficient
in the future. 1 2 3 4 5
64. Blame myself for what has happened. 1 2 3 4 5
65. Believe in an almighty God. 1 2 3 4 5
66. Believe that valuable lessons can be learned from undesirable 1 2 3 4 5

experiences.
1 2 3 4 5
67. Depend on friends for emotional/moral support.
1 2 3 4 5
68. Believe that God will execute final justice.
1 2 3 4 5
69. Derive meaning from my past.
1 2 3 4 5
70. Remind myself that worrying will not accomplish anything.
71. Practice meditation techniques to reduce tension.
72. Depend on opinions of people who have experienced similar

problems.
Numbness may be a sign of new deepness in

acceptance. It is alright to feel numb or nothing
in some situations. What would be the normal
emotional responses, when bad things
(whatever that may be) keep on happening to
you, again and again, with no end in sight?
Initially, you might have felt angry; you
might have even tried to fight back in protest,
but that only made things worse. Eventually, to
conserve what ever energy you still have, you
would give up, become helpless, and feel numb
or nothing.
At that point, you had no more tears, no
more voice, no more strength to respond to any
attack, as if you were emotionally dead. But
you are not dead yet, as long as you still have a little residue of the defiant human spirit.
It is alright to feel numbness, which protects you from more pain. When the whole
weight of the horrors, tragedies, and sadness of reality is crushing you, how else could you feel?
Your tears have run dry, and you have lost your voice.
From the perspective of logotherapy or meaning therapy, you can even turn numbness
into something good. As you dig deeper and deeper inside yourself for a solution, or crying out
to God for help with increasing desperation, eventually you may feel grateful that you are still
alive; you may laugh at the madness and insanity of educated human beings; you may discover
some meaning that makes your suffering bearable.
Finally, you may reach a new depth of acceptance, accompanied by feelings of serenity,
self-compassion and forgiveness and say to yourself, "That is O.K. even I lose everything, I still
have something precious that cannot be lost."
Your numbness is now transformed into deep life satisfaction and joy, which no longer
can be easily perturbed. Such enlightened resignation may be a sign that you are near the secret
garden where can you walk with God.
Next time, when you are able to maintain your composure and refuse to let people get
under your skin no matter how unreasonable or how bad they are, congratulate yourself, because
you have mastered self-control and emotional regulation through the practice of acceptance.
Your numbness in response to insult is indeed a sign of maturity.
Emotional numbness, even surrender, does not have

to be a sign of weakness. It is can be a strategic
retreat to conserve energy and avoid needless pain
and sacrifice given the hopelessness and helplessness
of the situation.
However, when you are strong enough to feel the

pain, you will be more determined to find a way to
overcome the negative forces, whether it is sickness,
injustice, or your own limitations.
Life is protracted struggle. It is perfectly alright to

lose a battle in order to win the war.
Chapter 10 | Lesson On Mental Toughness:

The Defiant Power Of Courage
Our mind tends to wander if it is not focused on a task or a distraction (Bradt, 2010).
Therefore, during lockdown and isolation, the mind is even more likely to wander towards
negative thoughts. I propose that a resilient mindset can serve to protect the mind from its
negativity bias of wandering into the territories of worries, anxieties, and painful memories.
There are six related aspects of the resilient mindset can be represented by the acronym
TRAMMB (credits to fellow psychologist Yannick Jacob for this acronym):
(1) Tough-mindedness towards threats, dangers, bad news, or painful thoughts;

(2) Responsibility to choose how to respond to what happens in reality or inside your mind. You
can either just witness it or choose an appropriate action;
(3) Accepting what is beyond your control, such as limitations, injustices, your vulnerability,
and the pandemic;
(4) Mindfully observing everything with openness and compassion without judgment. This is
often the first pass before deciding how to respond;
(5) Meaningfully observing (i.e., looking for what is beautiful, good, and true) and deciding
what is the right thing to do;
(6) Believing in hope and possibilities; having faith in yourself, in people, and in God, or the
mysterious transcendental realm beyond the limits of current science.
Cultivating these six ways of thinking

and ways of looking at life will offer us the
best protection and opportunity for creative
thoughts and actions. By training you mind to
be flexible enough to access any combination
of these six aspects, you will be able to reduce
your level of distress and anxiety.
From the perspective of existential
positive psychology (PP 2.0), it is more
adaptive to develop a more realistic view of
human existence–which is full of suffering
but also full of overcoming.
Therefore, resilience is not just a
matter of bouncing back after a disruption,
but about developing an existential way of
thinking that emphasizes the courage,
responsibility, and faith in the power of imagination, meaning-making, and connection with the
cosmos or God in the face of death and suffering; such an existential worldview makes one more
resistant to disruptions and trauma.
You Need CasMac to get Through the COVID-19 Crisis

Stronger and Happier.
“What are the one or two things you want most for your children and for yourself?”
“Happiness and success!”
That’s what all people want. Unfortunately, most people do not know how to achieve
these objectives, and some even ruin their lives by using unethical means to get what they want.
A greater concern is that the attitude of “I just want to be happy” will not prepare young people
for the inevitable stress and sufferings in life; when the storm comes, they will collapse like a
house built on the sand.
If I change the question to: “What are the one or two things you need most for your
children and for yourself?”
“Good education and good job!”
That’s what all people want. Unfortunately, most people do not have the opportunities or
money to receive a good education or get a good job. Furthermore, many people with good
education and good jobs end up in jail because of greed, corruption, and other white-collar
crimes.
If I again change the question: “What are the one or two things you really need in order
to be happy and successful for your children and for yourself?”
No, it is not good education, nor a good job. My answer is “moral education” or
“character building”, which will provide a rock-like foundation to build a fulfilling and
successful life; it will remain standing, even when storms or tidal waves crash on it.
How do we Build This Rock-solid Foundation of Life?
Peterson and Seligman’s well-
known character strengths and value-in-
action (VIA) program immediately
comes to mind, but their program is a
mixture of “head virtue” and “heart
virtue”; it is difficult to disentangle
universal moral virtues from individual
talents and personality traits in their six
virtues.
It is also difficult to disentangle
what is a universally valued virtue, and
what is limited to individual differences
in talents and interests in each character
strength. Therefore, training that
emphasizes an individual’s use of
character strengths does not necessarily
succeed in instilling universal moral
values. I have consistently observed a
wide gap in people’s use of their signature character strengths and the universal moral virtues
supposedly reflected by their character strengths.
I am proposing an alternative CasMac model (figure 1) based on existential-spiritual
values. The good thing about my model is that it is something that everyone can do, regardless of
their circumstances or their individual differences in talents and abilities. Another good thing is
that there is a great deal of empirical support for each of the factor’s importance for wellbeing
and career success.
Figure 1
CasMac: Spiritually-Oriented Model of Wellbeing
True Grit Checklist (TGC)

© P. T. P. Wong, 2014
Please respond to the following statements by circling “Yes” or “No.”
1. Are you willing to defy authority in order to stand up for what is right? Yes No
2. Have you ever risked inconvenience or danger in order to help others? Yes No
3. Have you ever overcome obstacles and oppositions to pursue a worthy goal? Yes No
4. Have you ever taken on a task in spite of fear of failure and opposition? Yes No
5. Are you willing to endure hardships and setbacks in order to accomplish Yes No
your life goal?
6. Are you willing to risk rejection in order to be true to your core value or Yes No
belief?
7. Have you ever suffered because you chose principle over expediency? Yes No
8. Have you ever endured great difficulties and adversities in completing a big Yes No
project?
9. Do you have something that is bigger than personal success and worth dying Yes No
for?
10. Have you ever accomplished anything that initially seemed impossible? Yes No
CasMac Measure of Character (CasMac)

Please read each statement and indicate to what extent each item is characteristic of you. You may
respond by circling / clicking the appropriate number according to the following scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Neither
Strongly Slightly Slightly Strongly
Disagree Agree nor Agree
Disagree Disagree Agree Agree
Disagree
I never let obstacles or oppositions prevent me from doing what really

1. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CG
matters.
I am not afraid to stand up for what is right or speak the truth, even if
2. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CG
it may cost me personally.
I am not afraid of failures and rejections in pursuing my ideals or
3. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CG
dreams.
4. I can face an uncertain and difficult future with courage and faith. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CG
5. I accept my limitations. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AC
6. I accept what cannot be changed. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AC
7. I have learned to live with suffering and make the best of it. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AC
8. I have learned to accept the world as it is. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AC
9. My life is meaningful because I live for something greater than myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ST
My suffering is more bearable when I believe that it is for my family,
10. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ST
friends, and/or for a higher purpose.
11. I enjoy the process of striving towards excellence in what matters. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ST
At my funeral, I want to be remembered as a decent human being who
12. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ST
cared about others.
13. I can find something meaningful or significant in everyday events. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 MG
14. No matter how painful the situation, life is still worth living. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 MG
What really matters to me is to pursue a higher purpose or calling
15. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 MG
regardless of personal cost.
I can always transform negatives into positives through reframing of
16. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 MG
meaning.
My life is full of hardships and suffering, but I can still count my
17. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AP
blessings.
I am grateful that my inner resources have increased as a result of
18. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AP
overcoming adversities.
I am grateful that every crisis represents an opportunity for me to

19. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AP
grow.
20. I have learned the importance of gratitude through suffering. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AP
21. I often feel the pain of another human being. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CM
It is my belief that we need to care for suffering people without
22. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CM
judging them.
23. I have a habit of doing some kind deed to others in need of help. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CM
I often feel moved by compassion seeing people waste their lives in
24. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 CM
pursuing pleasures and money.
[Items 5, 6, 7] from Personal Meaning Profile-Brief (PMP-B), self-acceptance subscale (McDonald, Wong,
& Gingras, 2012)
[Items 9, 10, 11, 12] from the Self-Transcendence Measure-Brief (STM-B) (Wong, 2017)
[Items 13, 14, 15, 16] from the Life Orientation Scale (LOS) (Wong, 2012)
[Items 17, 18, 19, 20] from the Existential Gratitude Scale (EGS) (Jans-Beken & Wong, 2018)
Chapter 11 | Effective Coping with Trauma
The psychological pain that you feel during the

COVID-19 crisis with its prolonged lockdown, social
distancing, isolation, and the daily news of rising death
toll can be a mixed bag of dark emotions. In quick
succession, you may feel anxious, depressed, and stressed
out; you may feel like lashing out at someone, feel too
tired to get out of bed, or drawn to junk food or liquor for
some comfort. There is no easy way to protect yourself
from these painful emotions and harmful behaviors but
talking to someone you trust, or a mental health
professional will help.
The first step of talk therapy usually involves
clarifying your feelings and thoughts because if you can
understand it, you can tame it and transform it. Numerous
psychologists have demonstrated empirically or clinically
that anger, shame, hopelessness, and meaninglessness can all be transformed to positive energies
within two recent journal issues on second wave positive psychology edited by me (Wong,
2019). Furthermore, Wong & Worth's (2017) showed that frustration and desperation can leads
to creativity, Westgate (2018) demonstrated that boredom may lead to more engaging activities,
and Kessler (2019) documents that the crowning achievement of grieving unexpected traumatic
loss is meaning.
The common denominator of the different effective ways of coping with painful emotions
and thoughts is meaning-focused coping. Prior research as summarized by Folkman &
Moskowitz (2016) and Wong (2017) showed that there are at least 5 to 6 different ways of
transforming painful experiences into resilience and positive growth through meaning, such as
reframing, finding benefits, changing priorities, and re-authoring the trauma narrative.
Chapter 12 | Review Your Past For a Better Future:

The Critical Choice Points Through Life Review
The only way to turn lockdown into an upturn is to have the courage to examine your life
and make some changes. One wrong choice can lead to bigger mistakes until you reach a point of
no return.
Misguided ambitions often lead to broken relationships and disillusion. Many people die
with regrets because they never spent time doing self-reflection and making much needed
changes. A time of disruption may also be a time of transformation.
The beauty of life is that you have the choice to heal unresolved shame, guilt, or anger
and transform it into hope and joy.
There is power in reminiscence and life review (Birren & Cochran, 2001; Wong 1995,
Wong & Watt,1991). By exposing your past, you will be able to free yourself from whatever that
binds you and make it possible for you to heal and re-write your life story.
If you want to live well in the age of COVID-19, take some time to examine your life and
honestly answer the following questions with a Yes or No. Then reflect on your answers. These
life review questions can fundamentally change your life:
(1) Do you regret making some bad choices in your desire to get ahead fast? Yes / No
(2) Do you forgive yourself and resolve to do what is honorable rather than Yes / No
what is expedient?
(3) Have you done anything which you are proud of? Yes / No
(4) Have you betrayed any of your friends or loved ones? Yes / No
(5) Have you decided to ask for forgiveness and make amends? Yes / No
(6) Have you missed good opportunities because you were afraid of taking Yes / No
risks?
(7) Have you ever done something courageous? Yes / No
(8) Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone to pursue something you Yes / No
have always dreamt about?
(9) Have you been unkind to your loved ones or friends? Yes / No
(10) Have you ever betrayed anyone who really trusted you? Yes / No
(11) Have you ever helped anyone at a great cost to yourself? Yes / No
(12) Have you ever loved anyone more than your own life? Yes / No
(13) Have you ever fought for those who are mistreated? Yes / No
(14) Do you regret choosing the easy path in life? Yes / No
(15) Are you willing to die for a worthy cause rather than prolonging a Yes / No
meaningless existence?
(16) Do you count your blessings rather than complaining? Yes / No
(17) Do you want to do things to improve yourself rather than just watch TV? Yes / No
(18) Do you want to spend some time nurturing your soul in meditation or Yes / No
prayer?
(19) Do you believe that life is worth living in spite of all the problems and Yes / No
pains?
(20) Do you plan to be your best self rather than giving up on yourself? Yes / No
Chapter 13 | Be Your Best Because Others Depend on You
COVID-19 has taught us one important word that can

save individual lives and save the world. That sacred word is
RESPONSIBILITY.
This word is highlighted over and over again in various
forms in all the guidelines and announcements about how to
contain this dangerous pandemic (e.g., be responsible for the
greater good!).
Hopefully, even when this crisis is over, we would still
remember that in order for us to survive and thrive individually
and collectively, we must be responsible for our behaviour and
its consequences on others, whether they are good or bad.
This morning, during my meditation on how to best
answer the threat of COVID-19, the hymn I would be true
because there are those who trust me by Howard A Walter
came to my mind and filled my heart with hope and joy. It can
also lift up your spirit and give you the motivation you need to
move forward with renewed hope and joy.
It will just take you a few minutes to find out why and how by reading this brief passage.
For all those burdened with care and worried about the future during these difficult days
of COVID-19, I would be true because there are those who trust me could change your life by
showing you the transforming power of willfully taking responsibility to be the keeper of your
neighbours.
The virtue of responsibility can do more for you than just create self-efficacy, agency, or
self-determination, it could also help beat depression and anxiety because it gives you many
noble reasons for becoming your best in order to give your best to the world (Wong, 2016).
Responsibility help you achieving happiness and increase character strength than other
psychological exercises because it teaches you that you can only become your best when you
aspire to be a blessing to all the people around you.
Of course, you must take care of yourself. By taking good care of yourself, you would
indirectly benefit others. But remember that whatever you do, it has repercussions on others. One
for all and all for one–we are in this together. We are all connected in this global village. We all
need to make some sacrifices so that the whole group can benefit individually and collectively.
Paradoxically, you find yourself by thinking about others. You find strength and joy in
serving others. That is why I am grateful to Viktor Frankl for his emphasis on the power of
taking responsibility in pursuing self-transcendence as the best way to achieve resilience. That
concept allowed him to survive the Holocaust.
There is enough joy and positivity around for everyone, only if we all do our part to be
our best.
Here are the inspiring words from I would be true because there are those who trust me.
Let each word speak to your heart and let the music touch your soul:
I would be true, for there are those who trust me;

I would be pure, for there are those who care;
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare.
I would be friend of all—the foe, the friendless;

I would be giving, and forget the gift;
I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
I would look up, and laugh, and love, and lift.
I would be faithful through each passing moment;

I would be constantly in touch with God;
I would be strong to follow where He leads me;
I would have faith to keep the path Christ trod.
Who is so low that I am not his brother?

Who is so high that I’ve no path to him?
Who is so poor I may not feel his hunger?
Who is so rich I may not pity him?
Who is so hurt I may not know his heartache?

Who sings for joy my heart may never share?
Who in God’s heav’n has passed beyond my vision?
Who to hell’s depths where I may never fare?
May none, then, call on me for understanding,

May none, then, turn to me for help in pain,
And drain alone his bitter cup of sorrow,
Or find he knocks upon my heart in vain.
Does each line of this beautiful hymn represent a characteristic of your life? Do you want
to be a resilient, responsible, and joyful person as described here? I invite you to reflect on each
line and write down how you can put it into practice (hear the full song by following this link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TM5E_e_hWc).
Chapter 14 | Only Sacrificial Love Can Save Your Marriage

From The COVID-19 Lockdown
In a good marriage, your spouse is both your

Heaven and hell, because you will find happiness
and personal growth only through the gate of
suffering.
What’s Love Got to do With

Surviving COVID-19?
My answer might surprise you. Love can
either be the most powerful motivation for surviving
and personal growth, or the most destructive force in
your life; it can either give you the reason for living
in spite of suffering, or it can make you miserable
and violent. It all depends on the kind of love you
have embraced.
According to Lee (1973), there are six colours of love. Hendrick & Hendrick (1986)
produced a Love Attitude Scale to measure these six types of love:
1. Eros. Lovers are attached to each other through sex appeal or physical chemistry; similar
to passionate love.
2. Pragma. Potential love-objects are rationally selected for pragmatic reasons, such as
career and family background.
3. Mania. It is characterized by cognitive obsession as well as emotional peaks and valleys;

similar to addictive love.
4. Ludus. Love is treated as a game for pleasure without serious commitment.
5. Storge. Based on deep friendship and mutual trust, similar to companionate love,
according to Hatfield et al. (2008).
6. Agape. It is unconditional love or loving without
expecting to get anything back in return. It does
not keep score. It rejoices in seeing the other
person happy. It is the willingness to endure
suffering for others. The reward of agape love is
purely intrinsic–love is its own reward. It is
similar to compassionate love, which "centers on
the good of the other" (Underwood, 2008, p. 3) or
unlimited love (Post, 2014). There is good
scientific evidence that human survival depends
on sacrificial love or altruism.
What Sort of Person Makes The Best Life Partner?
Most marriages begin with passionate love or with a friendship that catches fire.
Eventually, it settles comfortable into companionate love that is based on trust and intimate
sharing. However, marriage vows demand a higher level of commitment, even in times of
troubles.
Marriage is sacred, only when couples
recognize agape love as the heart and soul of marriage
and defend it fiercely at any cost. This is the most
selfless, uplifting, and enduring kind of love (as
described in 1 Cor.13: 4-8). One never stop loving,
even when it hurts, such as caring for a spouse
suffering from dementia or some kind of generative
disease.
It is an uncommon love, because most people
will give up the marriage when their relationship brings
more pain than happiness. Only sacrificial love can
save your marriage when a mandatory lockdown places
all relationships to a serious stress test.
Jean-Paul Sartre in his play No Exit describes the afterlife of three deceased characters
being locked in a room together for eternity, bickering. This play is the source of Sartre’s famous
quote: “Hell is other people”. Indeed, life could be hellish when couples or families are cooped
up in a small place for an indefinite period of time.
To make things worse, one has to adjust to working at home, on top of other household
chores, such as cooking, cleaning, or looking after the children. When normal routines are
disrupted, and the usual activities for recreation and distraction are no longer available, people
would feel unhappy, anxious, and agitated. Couple squabbles can be easily escalated into verbal
abuse or physical violence at a time of rising tension and pressures.
The good news is we still have the freedom of choice. “Everything can be taken from a
man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (Frankl, 1985).
Whether other people are Heaven or hell depends more on your reactions to them than
their actions. It is both scary and exciting that you are not a pawn and you have the responsibility
and agency to choose how to respond to other people.
The person who responds to interpersonal conflicts with sacrificial love has the best
chance to save his or her marriage from the mandatory lockdown. Please answer the following
Couples’ Relationship Checklist questions with a Yes or No to see whether you have agape love
in your heart for your spouse:
1) Have you ever enjoyed making personal sacrifices for your loved one? Yes / No
2) Do you feel grateful for what your spouse has contributed to your life? Yes / No
3) Are you willing to forgive your spouse indefinitely? Yes / No
4) Are you committed to caring for your spouse no matter how difficult? Yes / No
5) Do you believe that all your marital problems can be sorted out eventually? Yes / No
6) Are you grateful for all the precious lessons you have learned from your Yes / No
marital problems?
7) Do you fully accept your spouse in spite of all his/her annoying habits and Yes / No
weaknesses?
8) Are you grateful for the goodness in your partner? Yes / No
9) Have you made amends towards your mistakes, so that you would not Yes / No
suffering from regret and guilt if your partner were to die unexpectedly?
10) Do you believe that marriage is sacred worth fighting for? Yes / No
What Can I do to Improve My Martial Relationship?
People are complicated. Even after we have been married for more than 50 years, I still
could not fully understand my wife. Furthermore, people change over time. The high school
sweetheart you married may no longer be the same person after 30 or 40 years. Even during
normal times, maintaining a good marital relationship is a challenging tasking. The quarantine
simply amplifies previous marital problems and creates new ones.
To save your marriage, the very least you can do is to reduce negativity in your
interaction. Improving communication by avoiding John Gottman’s four horsemen of the
apocalypse would be a good start (Happycoupleshealthycommunities.com, 2014). The next step
is to increase the positive ratio to at least 4:1 as suggested by Tierney & Baumeister (St. Clair,
2019).
When couples grow apart, they need
to find a way to meet each other halfway
according to Arthur and Elain Aron, who are
both internationally renown experts on love
relationships. Along with several of their
colleagues, they published the now famous
36-item Intimacy Questionnaire to rekindle
love in long married couple (Aron et al.,
1997). Here are some sample items. If you
carefully reflect on each item, it will
improve your marital relationship:
• Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
• For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
• If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
• Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
• If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
• What do you value most in a friendship?
• If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about
the way you are now living? Why?
• What does friendship mean to you?
• What roles do love, and affection play in your life?
• Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share
a total of five items.
The Best Predictor of Successful Marriage is Sacrificial Love
From all my experiences in couple counselling and my observations of people, I have to

conclude that the best predictor of successful marriage is commitment rooted in sacrificial love.
Many years, ago, I wrote this poem:
What is the meaning of love?

Why do people fall in love even when it hurts so much?
The heart longs for a tender touch which never comes,
The heart aches to hold someone far, far away.
But true love always hopes and never dies.
No sacrifice is too high to care for someone you love

Without expecting any returns.
So loves endures the wounds and pains
But finds comfort in bringing joy to the beloved.
You may dismiss such love as unrealistic or too costly. But if you really believe that
marriage is something sacred, something worth fight for, then you would be willing to make the
sacrifice. You would be glad that you could practice empathy, compassion, acceptance,
appreciation, gratitude, forgiveness, patience, humility, endurance, faith, self-control, hope, self-
transcendence, and contentment–exercising what I call spiritual virtues.
Existential positive psychology poses that the most effective way to cultivate these
spiritual cultures is to go through the gates of suffering imposed by life. Marriage will test your
limits of these virtues and show you that there is always room for improvement. In other words,
marriage can be the best training program for character development and spiritual formation;
eventually, it will bring out the best in you and turn you into a saint.
More importantly, the best predictor of successful aging is a happy relationship,
according to Harvard’s longitudinal study (Mineo, 2017). In other words, working on the
relationship pays handsome dividends in terms of happiness and health, even though the process
may be very challenging.
Be grateful that you have found someone who is willing to take chances with you and
make you a better person, if you choose to place your life partner above your own self-interest.
Marriage is the best cure for the me-first disease, which can be just as destructive as the
coronavirus. More importantly, marriage also shows you the less travelled road to mature
happiness. Here are some simple exercises to strengthen your relationships:
1. Each day, do something to please your spouse.

2. Each day, express gratitude for at least one good thing about the marriage.
3. Listen to your spouse explain why she or he is unhappy about something. Listen without
interruption or defense. Then, “mirror” back to make sure that you have understood
correctly.
4. Make future plans together for the period after the COVID-19 crisis is over.
Chapter 15 | Lesson on Flexibility: Flexibility is the

Mega-strategy to Surviving Covid-19
Be like water, said Lao Tzu.
Be like water and the bamboos, said Bruce Lee.
Water and bamboos are good metaphors of

strength through flexibility. Water is soft; Bamboos are
hollow inside. These apparent weaknesses become
strengths because of their adaptability to changing
circumstances.
You may be lacking in IQ or EQ, but if you
have the flexibility, you can survive almost every kind
of adversity. Flexibility is a real-life mega-strategy for
survival. Charles Darwin put it very clearly: "It is not
the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most
intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
"In desperation, a dog will jump over a wall, a
human being will cry to the Sky God," so said a
Chinese proverb. This is a good description of
flexibility.
According to another well known Chinese

idiom, a real man can shrink and expand. Such a
person knows how to how to endure hardship with
patience and humility during difficult times, and how
to expand his enterprise in times of peace and
prosperity. This is an example of the Yin-Yang
principle.
The BRAMMT resilient mind, as described
earlier, demands flexibility. For example, even if you
are an atheist, you can still benefit from acting as if God exists. You have nothing to lose, but
everything to gain by praying for God’s protection and helping in the battle against an invisible
monster. Another example is mindfulness. If you suspend all your biases/prejudices and accept
life as it is, you will be in a much better position to decide the best coping action.
According to my resource-congruent model of effective coping (Wong, Reker &
Peacock, 2006), optimal flexibility means using the most fitting method and the most appropriate
resources to cope with any problem.
During the long history of human evolution, the most effective coping strategies have
been selected and encoded in our collective memories. We are all endowed with the capacity to
tap into the vast repertoire of coping strategies to cope with COVID-19, and its aftermath, if we
do not let our pride, biases, or dogma limit our options.
If you want to learn more about the resilience revolution in coping with the pandemic,
please leave with me your contact information, so that I can contact you regarding the
forthcoming webinar on The Positive Psychology of Resilience to cope with COVID-19.
Why pay money to learn resilience? You can now learn for free from this master in this
time of crisis.
Chapter 16 | Lesson on Happiness

Is happiness possible when everything goes
wrong, when friends betray you, when tides and
trends are turning against you, and both the work
situation and life at home are full of problems?
In the midst of pain, discomfort, and sleeplessness,
I find myself once again blessed with many
spiritual blessings.
I have just come up with a brief Chaironic
Happiness Scale to measure this kind of spiritual
bliss. Please answer yes or no to the following:
1. Are you spiritually attuned? Yes / No

2. Are you at peace with yourself, with others, and with the world? Yes / No
3. Have you ever experienced the ecstasy of worship and praise? Yes / No
4. Do you feel pure joy when you are in close communion with God or nature? Yes / No
5. Are you familiar with the inner blessings that come from meditation and prayer? Yes / No
6. Do you feel transported to a transcendental realm of joy as you watch the Yes / No
glorious sunrise or the majestic starry sky?
7. Have you experienced the aesthetic chills or sublime feelings in appreciating Yes / No
artistic creations?
8. Do you experience joy when you hold a baby or see children playing happily? Yes / No
9. Have you ever paused and felt grateful for being alive on such a beautiful planet? Yes / No
10. Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by an unexpected gift from a stranger Yes / No
or from your spiritual community?
10 Types of Mature Happiness in Times of Suffering

When all you hear everyday is bad news, only deep-rooted happiness can get you through
the day. Why not discover this new experience?
Ongoing research into many different types of happiness is a welcoming new
development. However, most positive psychologists still limit themselves to happiness research
in normal life circumstances. The age of COVID-19 beckons them to explore the following types
of mature happiness that can really contribute to SWB and health during adversity. There is no
excitement and no pure positivity in these types of deep-rooted mature happiness (figure 1).
Figure 1
10 Types of Mature Happiness in Times of Suffering
Conclusion | How to Find Inner Peace and

Life Balance in Times of Crisis
The whole world has turned upside down. The life we used to know has largely
disappeared with all kinds of new rules (such as lockdown measures, social distancing) imposed
on us in our battle against COVID-19. We can no longer expect that tomorrow will be similar to
today because the situation is so fluid–the other shoe may drop at any time–and all of us could
get infected. Even the top medical scientists have issued numerous warnings of a second wave.
With the collapse of traditional values, the surge of social upheavals, endless political
tumults, and the 4th industrial revolution, the world is undergoing seismic changes. We have lost
our moral mooring and direction in a new world which we don’t really understand.
Indeed, we are going through a global crisis of biblical proportions. The pandemic has
exposed the fault lines of our democracy and the discontent of our materialistic way of life. It
may be a time for awakening and fundamental change and a new science of coping with an
invisible and ubiquitous deadly enemy.
This book has provided helpful resources on the resilience revolution such as the double
helix of self-distancing and self-transcendence, Frankl’s vaccine against suffering, and Wong’s
resilience mindset as the front line psychological defence against the pandemic. In this
concluding chapter, I want to focus on the need to change ourselves in order to find mature
happiness based on inner peace and life balance.
Most people do not fully understand what Frankl meant when he spoke of the need to
"change ourselves". Surely, it means more than mere positive thinking or behaviour
modification. The deeper meaning of change can be found in the Greek word repentance
(μετάνοια), which means a complete change of mind and heart after self reflection, repudiation
of what is wrong, and transforming oneself into something new.
For example, Frankl challenged us to re-orient our life from horizontal living to vertical
living in a spiritual/transcendental reality. Don’t you think that this change will make your life
deeper and more meaningful? What if there is God, a Supermeaning, or Supreme Master, to
whom you will be held accountable? Don't you think that faith in God will help you to be more
responsible in your use of freedom?
Another example: Frankl also challenged us to change our mindset from fear of suffering
to embracing suffering. What will happen if you let go your old beliefs and attitudes, and
consider the new possibility that suffering may be good for you? It will as least reduce your
anxiety level and prompt you to seek the meaning and benefit of suffering, such as placing
yourself in harm’s way as a frontline worker or rebuilding your shattered business.
What is Inner Peace? How is it Related to Happiness?
According to Thich Nhat Hanh (2014),

the secret to happiness is seeking peace, not
excitement; to transform suffering, not running
away from it. We need to learn how to face,
accept, and embrace our suffering with
mindfulness and equanimity. Then we can
experience true joy or mature happiness in the
midst of adversity.
This kind of inner peace does not
necessarily mean the complete absence of
negative thoughts or stress, it does not mean that you need to live a cloistered life of a monk or
priest. It simply means a positive state of mind characterized by equanimity, confidence,
harmony, and contentment. The good news is that peace could be experienced in every step of
the way as you go about your daily business (Thich Nhat Hanh, 1992).
According to Wong & Bowers (2018), “Mature or noetic happiness is characterized by a
sense of acceptance, inner serenity, harmony, contentment, and being at peace with self, others,
and the world.” It is called mature, because it takes a certain level of personal maturity and
spiritual discipline in order to achieve a high level of life satisfaction, even when one could
barely maintain a low or modest level of positivity while going through unrelenting trials and
tribulations. Therefore, it implies a deep-rooted peace and joy overlaid with fresh wounds,
bruises, and stresses that come from daily struggles.
I used a mandala model (see figure 1) to describe this calm-based happiness, which
depends on the dialectical interactions between yin-yang and self-others. The model allows an
individual to benefit from both the self and others simultaneously, as in the case of self-
transcendence. The self and others are viewed as two sides of the same coin, or two separate but
interdependent dimensions. Similarly, the model also allows an individual to be both high in yin
and yang, as in the case of accepting the bleak reality yet continuing to struggle towards one’s
ideals.
Figure 1
Dialectical Mandala Model of Mature Happiness
This mature happiness requires our ability to navigate dialectical interactions and
maintain an optimal balance between the self and others, along with yin and yang tendencies,
depending on the specific demand of each context. This ability of agility and flexibility can be
strengthened through self-cultivation or practice of the resilient mindset described earlier.
According to this mandala model, the sweet spot of optimal balance and harmony between
opposing forces is mature happiness (安樂/安康)—an authentic, spiritual, and enduring
happiness that can be sustained amid suffering (Dambrun & Ricard, 2011; Delle Fave et al.,
2016; Wong & Bowers, 2018).
Mature happiness encompasses psychological wellbeing (Ryff, 1989) and eudemonic
wellbeing (Ryan et al., 2008; Waterman, 1993); it is an attunement-based happiness (Haybron,
2013). According to Wong (2014), “attunement is a positive mental state, characterized by a
sense of contentment with life and being at peace with oneself and the world.” In addition, it can
even function within the noxious world of pandemic and suffering.
Thus, it demands more than a few positive psychology exercises to achieve inner peace.
One needs to develop the skills, attitudes, and habits of living a life of harmony and balance in a
dangerous and unpredictable world. This is the concept of the good life according to PP 2.0
(Wong, 2011).
How to Live a Life of Balance and Harmony
The notion of life balance and harmony

can be traced back to ancient China, as
represented by the principle of Yin-Yang
dialectics, believed to encompass everything in
nature and responsible for physical and mental
health according to Confucianism, Dao/Taoism
and Buddhism (Laozi, 2016; Wong, 2016).
Inner peace, harmony, and balance are
closely related concepts as indicated by this
definition. “Harmony is usually identified as a
human value, referring to compatibility and
accord in feelings, actions, relationships,
opinions, interests, etc. It denotes a state of
balance among forces influencing and even
opposing one another.” (Chen, 2008, p. 464)
Life is a balancing act because life is full of paradoxes, dilemmas, absurdities, and
contradictions. Living well is all about knowing how to balance conflicting forces, values,
attitudes, ideas, and emotions and making the right choices that will increase life balance and
wellbeing. Here are some common examples of duality:
• The real self vs. the ideal self

• Confessing our past shameful deeds vs. building more mental defences
• Personal freedom vs. public safety
• Individual rights vs. social justice
• Getting ahead vs. getting along
The inability to resolve any of the above conflicts can contribute to a person’s adjustment
problems. Our ability to balance the endless conflicting demands in our daily lives is the key to
stress reduction and positive mental health (The editors of TIME, 2019).
Research has shown that harmony or balance is associated with happiness, subjective
wellbeing (SWB), and meaning in life (Chen, 2008; Gruman, et al, 2018; Wong, 2012). Research
has also shown that there is a symbiotic relationship between inner peace and happiness, and
both concepts are associated with positive emotions (e.g., Lyubomirsky et al., 2005).
If we still cling to our old patterns

of expectations, we would be creating
more stress and anxiety to ourselves
according to the meaning-maintenance
model (Heine et al., 2006). If we want
inner peace, we can no longer cling to
the old patterns of expectations, such as
“hard work will lead to success”, and
“good people will be rewarded, while
bad people will be punished”. Such
expectations are part of the “just world
belief”, which will be violated again and
again in a chaotic and unjust world.
By the same token, we can no longer only cling to the importance of cognitive
consistency (Cartwright & Harary, 1956; Heider, 1946), even though by nature we prefer to see a
world that function consistently in an orderly manner that we can predict or control. The new
science of existential psychology predicts that the our ability to tolerate and adapt to cognitive
dissonance may be more conducive to wellbeing during times of complexity and chaos.
All of us experience the discomfort of cognitive dissonance (CD) from conflicting values
or the gap between ideal self and real self, resulting in positive change. However, the new
science of PP 2.0 suggests that holding two opposing ideas or emotions can be good for you,
even though CD is uncomfortable or stressful. Tolerating CD could increase your cognitive and
emotional maturity in the following seven ways:
1. It makes you more inclusive regarding diversity.

2. It increase your emotional diversity (Ponti, 2017).
3. It makes you wiser by discovering that truth is somewhere in the middle of
opposing positions.
4. It increases your tolerance of people who oppose you.
5. It increases your emotional agility (David, 2016).
6. It increases your creativity (Leung, 2018).
7. It restores your inner peace by living with CD.
Science still lags behind the wisdom of living with dissonance. Consider the following
two quotes from F. Scott Fitzgerald and Carl Sagan. Do they resonant with you?
Interestingly enough, some research suggests that listening to Mozart may increase your
emotional and cognitive maturity in trying to balance two conflicting beliefs (Jacobs, 2017).
Finally, the ability to maintain peace and harmony in a polarized and rapidly changing world
may be important for human survival and flourishing.
According to Faabio & Tsusa (2018), the psychology of harmony represents a new area
of the positive psychology of sustainable development in the post-modern world. The ability to
embrace change, the cognitive flexibility to switch between different coping strategies, and the
emotional agility to react to change with positive emotions can all contribute to intrapersonal and
interpersonal peace and harmony.
A Profile of Inner Peace
It is always refreshing to see someone who is able to maintain her composure and quiet
confidence, even when she is insulted. Threatened, and provoked. You wonder: How could she
be so calm even in such desperate situations.
You can see in her eyes that she knows what is going on and that she is on top of the
situation. She does not show much emotion, does not readily express her views, and refuses to be
drawn into useless arguments. She never responds immediately to unreasonable demands. After
some consideration, she would say a very few carefully chosen words that would produce her
intended effects.
She can go from crisis to crisis without losing her cool. You wonder: How did she
develop her mental toughness, confidence, and competence in making the right decision? Surely,
it takes more than yoga or positive psychology exercises to develop such rock-solid leadership
qualities and fluid flexibility like water.
Her patience and self-control come largely from a long-suffering heart capable of
tolerating all kinds of stupidity and absurdity without losing her composure. She always carries
herself with impeccable manners and sense of understated dignity, but her presence calls for
respect.
In the midst of many powerful push and pull forces, she is able to maintain her ground
and stay calm under pressure. This gives her the advantage over her adversaries because she is
able to think with clarity and make wise decision without acting on impulse or habit.
She becomes such a
heroic figure because she has
learned that life is a balancing
act. She knows how to achieve
a sense of balance in all areas
of life and how to develop a
harmonious working
relationship with all kind of
people, including those she
does not like. To become such
a well-rounded mature person,
she also practices the strategies
in the following section.
Strategies to Achieve Life Harmony
Here are 12 strategies that can build your mental muscles to take on all the dirty, vile events
that come your way without losing your balance and serenity.
1. Know the difference between right and wrong and always do what is right according to
your conscience and universal values such as compassion and justice. This will give you
a solid moral grounding.
2. Know the difference between personal interest and the common good. Always willingly
surrender your self-interest for the greater good. This is the practice of self-transcendence
and servant-leadership.
3. Know your vulnerabilities and

what upsets you most. To
acknowledge your weaknesses is
the best way to protect and
improve yourself. Your problem
will persist until you dare to face
it and learn from it.
4. Believe that you can turn every

setback to your advantage and
accomplish your goal eventually,
even though the situation may
look hopeless. “As for you, you
meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” (English Standard Version Bible,
2001, Genesis 50:20) Therefore, you can celebrate your failures and your fate, because
they prepare you for eventual success if you stay true to the course.
5. Keep your stillness rituals daily, such as meditation, prayer, tai chi, or spending time with
nature. Do them consistently. It is the time to experience solitude and quietness, and to
clear your mind of the endless noise while recharging your mental battery.
6. Train your mind to focus on one thing at a time, so that you don’t get distracted easily.
Your ability to focus will prevent you from being drawn into ruminating over
troublesome issues or worrying about negative outcomes.
7. Develop the practical wisdom and cognitive flexibility so that you will be able to balance
work with play, self-care with caring for others. You also need to have the practical
wisdom knowing when to get engage, when to dis-engage, when to advance, and when to
retreat. Life is a balancing act.
8. Refuse to waste your time on toxic people and refuse to allow them to rob you of your
inner peace. Stay away from them if you can.
9. Stop chasing after happiness; instead, learn to maintain a positive mental state of deep joy
and serenity in spite of the constant presence of stress in your daily battle with various
challenges. In other words, you neither seek excitement with high intensity and positivity,
nor do you seek homeostasis.
10. Learn to live with paradoxes and cognitive dissonance so you could find a creative
solution more easily . It is actually good to have some level of tension and keep the fire in
your belly to improve yourself and overcome your problems.
11. Learn to remain hopeful, even when you face repeated rejection or failures, by believing
in the intrinsic value of your work and believing in eventual vindication.
12. Think negatively and prepare for the worse so that you can take measures to prevent it
from happening and you will not be shocked even when it does happen. This pre-mortem
technique was designed by psychologist Gary Klein (2007). His great idea comes from
the Stoic tradition (see figure 2).
Figure 2
Ideas from Stoicism

Conclusion
At the heart of inner peace is one’s
ability to (a) maintain an optimal balance
between opposing forces in any context, (b)
live in harmony with the self, others, nature
and the supernatural through attunement
(Wong, 2014), (c) achieve genuineness or
authenticity so that one’s values, thoughts,
words, and deeds are congruent with each
other, in spite of the pressure of fear and
temptations, and (d) develop the ability to tolerate and embrace uncertainty, disconfirmation of
expectancies, ambivalent emotions and cognitive dissonance. All of these traits are predicated on
living in a hostile world full of suffering and evil.
In the final analysis, we can sum it all up with the following idiom: no pain, no gain. It is
better for us to get used to living with the inevitable prospect of suffering and death in order to
gain mental toughness and wisdom. The valuable sources of inner peace and life balance can
only be earned by going through the gates of hardships and suffering, and learning dialectical
balancing (Lomas, 2016) along with the dual-system process (Wong, 2012). Even when living a
meaningful life, we need to have both the proper balance between difference sources of meaning
(Wong, 1998).
Life can be a beautiful painting with bright and dark colours. Life can also be a beautiful
piece of music with different notes in perfect harmony. You can build a new life of peace,
balance, and harmony out of shattered dreams and broken relationships by practicing the new
concepts, strategies, and skills as outlined in this book.
My colleagues and I are in the process of establishing a new Research Institute of
Suffering and Flourishing to explore all the new possibilities of the new science of PP 2.0
(https://www.meaning.ca/positive-psychology/).
I want to conclude this chapter by quoting Faabio & Tsusa (2018):
“Acceptance of change can be considered a resource to face adaptively the continuous

changes of the 21st century in terms by offering strengths to ﬁnd new balances within the
person, with others and with different contexts, including the natural world.”
Measurement and Scales Scoring Keys

(In order of appearance)
Personal Meaningful Profile-Brief (p. 26)
Please indicate the score you circled for the indicated question number in the cells below. Add
up the scores in each row.
Subscale Score Score Score Row Total

Achievement (Q5) (Q6) (Q16)
Relationship (Q7) (Q8) (Q13)
Religion (Q4) (Q9) (Q18)
Self-transcendence (Q1) (Q3) (Q17)
Self-acceptance (Q11) (Q15) (Q21)
Intimacy (Q2) (Q12) (Q14)
Fair treatment (Q10) (Q19) (Q20)
Life Attitude Scale (p. 55)
4 = Strongly Agree
3 = Agree
2 = Disagree
1 = Strongly Disagree
Note: Global LAS score is calculated by adding all responses. Subscale scores
are calculated by adding responses to items corresponding to the subscales.
Elements (Subscales): Items:
Affirmation of meaning and value: 18 24 26 27
Acceptance: 7 9 13 17 22
Courage: 6 20 28 30
Faith: 1 3 5 8 10 14 15 16 23 29 31
Self-transcendence: 2 4 11 12 19 21 25 32
Responsibility Scale (p. 61)

Self Responsibility (4 items): 1, 2, 4, 6
Accountability to others (4 items): 3, 5, 7, 8
Existential Gratitude Scale (p. 67)

Items 3, 5, and 7 need to be reverse coded before calculating a mean score for Existential
Gratitude
Personal Meaning Profile (p. 74)
Achievement (16 items): 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 21, 24, 25, 26, 29, 34, 40, 44, 47, 48
Relationship (9 items): 10, 18, 27, 28, 32, 41, 42, 45, 50
Religion (9 items): 3, 5, 19, 20, 22, 33, 51, 52, 54
Self-transcendence (8 items): 2, 15, 23, 30, 31, 39, 49, 53
Self-acceptance (6 items): 4, 16, 36, 37, 46, 57
Intimacy (5 items): 1, 11, 17, 38, 43
Fair treatment (4 items): 14, 35, 55, 56
Search for Meaning Scale (p. 77)

Positive Search for Meaning (6 items): 2, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12
Negative Search for Meaning (6 items): 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 10
Coping Schemas Inventory-Revised (p. 81)

Situational (8 items): 2, 5, 11, 23, 29, 37, 50, 61
Self-Restructuring (8 items): 9, 20, 21, 48, 53, 57, 58, 63
Active Emotional (8 items): 4, 13, 17, 26, 38, 51, 60, 67
Passive Emotional (12 items): 3, 8, 16, 18, 30, 31, 32, 34, 39, 41, 49, 64
Meaning (4 items): 36, 59, 66, 69
Acceptance (9 items): 10, 12, 14, 15, 24, 33, 40, 56, 62
Religious (9 items): 6, 7, 28, 35, 42, 45, 54, 65, 68
Social Support (6 items): 1, 22, 44, 52, 55, 72
Tension Reduction (8 items): 19, 25, 27, 43, 46, 47, 70, 71
CasMac Measure of Character (p. 91)

1. Courage (CG) (4 items): 1, 2, 3, 4
2. Acceptance (AC) (4 items): 5, 6, 7, 8
3. Self-Transcendence (ST) (4 items): 9, 10, 11, 12
4. Meaning (MG) (4 items): 13, 14, 15, 16
5. Appreciation (AP) (4 items): 17, 18, 19, 20
6. Compassion (CM) (4 items): 21, 22, 23, 24
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2012-australia-2/
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and the development of the Coping Schemas Inventory. In P. T. P. Wong, & L. C. J.,
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New York, NY: Springer.
Chapter 10
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mind/?fbclid=IwAR1it-
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and where I am going (Autobiography, Ch. 24). Dr. Paul T. P. Wong. Retrieved from
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significant psychological stress. In M. Hewstome, H. Schut, J. de Wit, K. Van Den Bos &
M. Stroebe (Eds.), The Scope of Social Psychology: Theory and Applications (pp. 193-
208). Psychology Press Taylor & Francis Group. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203965245
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Wong, P. T. P. (2017). Coping and stress. In A. Wenzel (Ed.), The SAGE encyclopedia of
abnormal and clinical psychology (pp. 886-890). New York, NY: Sage.
Wong, P. T. P. (Guest Ed.). (2019). Special Issue: A Second-Wave Positive Psychology in
Counselling Psychology. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 32(3-4).
https://doi.org/10.1080/09515070.2019.1671320
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Autobiography Groups. Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press.
Wong, P. T. P. (1995). The processes of adaptive reminiscence. In B. K. Haight & J. D. Webster
(Eds.), The art and science of reminiscing: Theory, research, methods, and applications
(p. 23–35). Taylor & Francis.
Wong, P. T. P., & Watt, L. (1991). What types of reminiscence are associated with successful
aging? Psychology and Aging, 6(2), 272-279.
Chapter 13
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been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
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Chapter 15
Wong, P. T. P., Reker, G. T. & Peacock, E. (2006). The resource-congruence model of coping
and the development of the Coping Schemas Inventory. In P. T. P. Wong, & L. C. J.,
Wong (Eds.), Handbook of multicultural perspectives on stress and coping (pp. 223-283).
New York, NY: Springer.
Chapter 16
Wong, P. T. P. (2014). From attunement to a meaning-centred good life: Book Review of Daniel
Haybron’s Happiness: A very short introduction. International Journal of Wellbeing,
4(2), 100-105. doi:10.5502/ijw.v4i2.5
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Endorsements
Made for Resilience and Happiness is a handy book full of helpful information for those of us
who are finding it difficult to cope with the tremendous stress of the Covid-19 pandemic. This
book comes from the world's foremost authority on meaning-centered therapy. Written in a
jargon-free way, it will guide you how to strengthen your fighting spirit in these hard times. A
must-read and a must-share book.
Dr. Sandip Roy, medical doctor, psychology writer, happiness researcher. Founder of Happiness
India Project
Uncomfortable that mainstream psychologists have not really addressed the existential issues
catalyzed by Covid-19, Paul Wong has collected insights from his own work and from Viktor
Frankl to show how and why we can flourish, despite the stress and fears of the pandemic. Made
for Resilience and Happiness shows us that we can choose how we make sense of our struggles.
We can choose to succumb to workplace anxieties, or we can choose a better way. In 16
chapters—covering responsibility, resilience, faith, purposeful living, mental toughness, and
other lessons—the book is a practical guide to changing our lives with exercises and
psychological tests. In my own work during the pandemic with those who suffer from addictions,
I have used several of Dr. Wong’s therapeutic practices. I have seen clients transform from being
victimized by the virus to learning about themselves and their relationships, transcending fear
and worry, persevering when things seem hopeless, and living for a higher purpose.
Geoff Thompson, PhD Program Director, Sunshine Coast Health Center
In this little gem of an ebook, Dr. Wong shares a myriad of tools, interventions, measures and
exercises grounded in positive psychology and existential thought. It'll be of help to anybody
affected psychologically by the current Covid-19 pandemic as well as any psychological crisis
that may bestow us in the future.
Yannick Jacob, Existential Coach, Positive Psychologist, Coach Trainer & Supervisor
The current crisis of COVID-19 poses a major challenge to our society and individuals. This
book proposes a new way of living in the midst of difficulties. Without falling into the trap of
utopian optimism, Dr. Wong confronts the harsh reality of the pandemics and challenges the
readers to turn this difficult time into an opportunity for personal transformation.
José Manuel García-Montes, Professor, University of Almería, Almería, Spain
Dr. Paul T. P. Wong provides an important resource showing how we can develop our innate
capabilities and coping skills to adapt well in the era of the pandemic, based on his expertise of
meaning therapy and second wave positive psychology (PP 2.0). It is a very useful guide about
resilience––full of important information for those who want to protect and foster mental health
and wellbeing during COVID-19
Gökmen Arslan, Ph.D., Mehmet Akif Ersoy University, Burdur, Turkey; Associate Editor:
Journal of Positive School Psychology; Statistical Consultant: The Educational and
Developmental Psychologist
This ebook by the eminent Dr Paul T.P. Wong is a comprehensive resource book. It is unique
since it delves into the current pandemic crisis with the perspective of positive psychology 2.0,
focussing on resilience, and meaning. He particularly emphasizes on changing our mindset about
suffering so that we can flourish through meaning transformation and self-transcendence.
In this book, Dr Wong also shares many of the scales developed by him and his colleagues as
well as numerous self-reflection exercises to help the readers understand themselves in deeper
and better way.
I strongly recommend everyone across the globe to read this wonderful book and learn how even
a crisis as difficult as this cannot defeat us and can help us grow beyond measure! Kudos to Dr.
Wong for creating such an extraordinary and remarkable book!
Dr. Pooja V. Anand, Assistant Professor, Department of Psychology, Daulat Ram College,
University of Delhi, India
Paul Wong is a force to contend with, speaking powerfully to the need to flatten the mental
health curve concerning the Covid-19 challenge, or any other such disruptive event in our lives.
Throughout this book, he offers hope by showing how we can be stronger and better, if we
practice the skills based on Viktor Frankl’s teachings and understand the role of resilience in
flourishing through difficult times as individuals and in the culture.
I have watched Paul for over 40 years overcome the challenges of academia, discrimination and
working with people in crisis, looking for hope. From his own rich experience, commitment to
excellence and practitioner style, he has become the leading scholarly voice globally for the
extension of Frankl's work for a new generation. He has championed the cause of Positive
Psychology 2.0 and is pioneering the new science of flourishing through suffering.
His meaning-centered, and faith friendly, approach shows how suffering can be part of our
development and take us to new heights of maturity as individuals. This book will be useful for
the parent, the counselor, the coach or anyone frustrated by the lack of tools available for
thinking through and processing these challenging days in which we live. I highly recommend
you read it once quickly and then review it in short sections for further thought and application.
Ross Rains, Commercial Real Estate Specialist; Founder, Pathfinders ministries
3 AUDIOBOOK COLLECTIONS
6 BOOK COLLECTIONS
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Book · August 2020

Second wave positive psychology View project

The user has requested enhancement of the downloaded file.

Copyright © 2020 Paul T. P. Wong

Published by INPM Press, 2020

and Paul T. P. Wong is assigned ISBN 978-1-7987695-2-3

form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,

without prior written permission of the copyright owner.

Book Design by Tim Yu

About the Book

About the Author

Confession of a First Responder

But I was born and trained for a time like this,

Introduction: How a Healthy Dosage of Self-Transcendence can Overcome COVID-19 9

Chapter 2: Viktor Frankl’s Cure for COVID-19 18

Chapter 3: The New Science of Suffering and Flourishing 28

Chapter 5: Lesson on Belief and Hope 53

Chapter 8: Lesson on Meaning 69

Chapter 9: Lesson on Mindfulness and the Power of Acceptance 78

Chapter 10: Lesson on Mental Toughness: The Defiant Power of Courage 87

Chapter 11: Effective Coping With Trauma 94

Chapter 13: Be Your Best Because Others Depend on You 97

Chapter 16: Lesson on Happiness 106

The Best Resilience Quotes to Fight COVID-19 118

Measures and Scales Scoring Keys 119

1. Existential Gratitude Scale

Introduction | How a Healthy Dosage of Self-Transcendence

First we Need to Confront our own Shadow

Second, we Need to Change our Mindset About Suffering

Third, we Need to Understand the Power of Self-Transcendental Love

Anyone who has been fallen in

Fourth, we Need to Practice Self-Transcendence in Order to Survive

Self-Transcendence Measure-Brief (STM-B)

1. My life is meaningful because I live for something greater than myself. 0 1 2 3 4

4. At my funeral, I want to be remembered as a decent human being who 0 1 2 3 4

7. I focus on discovering the potential meaning in every situation. 0 1 2 3 4

8. I devote my life to pursuing the ideals of beauty, goodness, and truth. 0 1 2 3 4

9. I develop my full potential in order to give my best to benefit society. 0 1 2 3 4

10. I am more motivated by doing something meaningful than by the prospect 0 1 2 3 4

Chapter 1 | You Were Made for Resilience and Happiness for

Chapter 2 | Viktor Frankl’s Cure for COVID-19

My First Insight is the Power of Frankl's 3-Second Rule

My Second Insight is the Comprehensiveness of Frankl’s Three

Attitudinal value. How you can experience it through the

My Third Insight is the Key to Understand Frankl’s Cure

According to Frankl, logotherapy is spiritual therapy. Just as cognitive psychology restored

Personal Meaningful Profile-Brief (PMP-B)

It is only fitting to conclude this brief introduction

“What remained was the individual person, the human

Chapter 3 | Why we Need the New Science of

• Depression into meaning,

• The truth of suffering (dukkha),

First, it is an attempt to fill a missing gap in positive psychology. Positive psychology

PE also plays a major role in

Thus, stop fighting against reality and accept all

3. The science of existential courage. Whether you are an

Many people are wresting with an

1) Be TOUGH mentally to face a

How can I Find Happiness When I am Living in Pain in a Hostile

Mature Happiness Through Transforming Negative Emotions

The greatest strength of PP 2.0 is its ability to

This promising area of PP 2.0 is built on