Hey ya helwe,

I hope your mom or foufa or ur sis are not over pressuring you because they knew i saw you, or that we
are chatting. I can surely sacrifice not speaking with you except a few emails occasionally, because i know
we would have taken distance after having made peace first.

Also I understand them. And I also think of you and your future and life : maybe if u remain talking with
me even as friends, maybe it will make moving on slower for you. And you are still beautiful and young, I
don't want to be a cause that could make you postpone looking at your life, and don't want to be a cause
of creating tension with your family, because after everything bad that happened, i surely understand
them. I know part of you is still attached to me, and if that is a cause of negativity, we can take distance,
it's ok though i'll miss you, but at least before we would have made peace..

....------------------------------------------------------

Ok just finished talking with you on the phone.... So as we said then, no talks during the day unless
smthg very important, or unless ur totally alone. Accept your mother following you everywhere, it's your
sisters and Foufa who told her to, and i surely understand totally. They want to make sure that you dont
talk with me or see me not only for you to move on , but also they are afraid that you might meet me or
ur friends and take drugs or smthg from them. It is justifiable, and very understandable. Like I told you,
your mother following you and ur familiy pressuring you is a Gift from God and it is His will, and it is
Paradise compared to being at Imm Nour with patrona Yara and all the crazy girls kharrijin 7bouse, and
all the Rules and stuff which are not far from prison. So Thank God for that.

--------------------------------------------------------

Confessions and things which I learned because of you, things that less than a few had done with me….

I will begin the 4 first things which you know about coz we talked about them many times :

The instinct : Its not just sugar. It’s Sugar and when really needed, also salt the same, water after food
and other places, fruits, veggies which you love, and also the AIR….i had lost instinct in all those and was
eating, drinking and breathing not according to body’s instinct but according to mental knowledge….I
won’t talk much here because it’s clear for you, and we spoke a lot about this.

Self Love : surely we talked also about this. But there are a important details I probably didnt mention.
First I went for so many long years after the commandment of Jesus of hating our own life, which I did at
some point nkeye, coz satan was against me, and God says in the prophecy “and it pleased God to crush
and bruise him with sorrow and disease”. So said to God at that time : then nobody is with me, YOU are
against me because it pleases You to crush me (i knew it was for the plan of salvation, but i surely didn’t
love suffering), and satan of course is against me, and my family against me, and nearly all people also,
except a few exceptions….So I was so desperate and wanted since 20 years to commit suicide just to
escape the suffering of not sleeping for years, or waking up 20 time a night suffocating….. Because i can’t
do suicide so i’m Forced to live with all the suffering. So I told God, then if everybody is against me,
satan, humans, even You (akid i knew He always protected me from death, but not from catastrophes
and sorrows and diseases).... So I told Him mazel heik ana ra7 odrob 7ale iza heik nekeye bi 7ale iza
hall2ad el 7ale ta3ise. I wanted kind of “hurt Him” (akid God cannot be hurt) by hurting myself more
than what is already because i know how much He loves me, and I know why He put this on me, bass i
wanted to hurt myself more than what He asked. Yaane like a son who knows his parents love him much
but don’t answer him or dont do what he wishes (for a good reason) so he hurts himself to hurt them
because they will get hurt if they see the son they love is hurting himself, and will MAYBE have
compassion on him. The same was with God, because i wished maybe by doing this He might have
compassion on me and shorten or end my suffering by healing me…..I’m telling you all this to show you
how deep this behavior was in me, and satan played a big role in all that, and it became like smthg
impossible to change add ma it’s old w add ma i got used over the year to that as NORMAL. So what YOU
actually did, and it was God who used you, was that you began early since we met in the beginning to
escape for example to ur mother’s house after many weeks of intense partying and drugs, because it
became at some point Masochistic, something that is normal for me but NOT for you. What i didn’t tell
you before about that is that at times it pissed me off, or imagined bad things about u (participated later
in the paranoia), and many other times i knew you were doing it because u loved yourself like Every Wise
human should if the lifestyle is exhausting him or if it’s affecting his health or something important in his
life. And also knew u went to recharge at ur mothers ect…. So actually i was jealous OF you (because it
was like a foreign language to me to do the same, it was difficult for me, because i am used at self
beating/suicide), and was also jealous like i told you also OF you because u had a Mom that had what i
since always wanted from my mom which never happened.I took me not less than 1 years since we met
till i began practicing it but, very little by very little…… to finish about Self Love : Without self love, all my
knowledge and all my science wouldnt even be enough, and they lose their meaning because like Jesus
saidi : “Ma nafe3 al insan iza rabi7a el 3alam koulahu wa khasira nafsahu”. Many friends and gf khassatan
myra and others tried to say to me the same thing, to change that, i always agreed they were right, but
couldnt change it…..

Family : very soon after we met you did a miracle with them….it went bad after ossit beit cynthia last
summer for a while, till after that, and till now, they have really changed. Akid not perfectly, but i wasnt
asking from them perfectly. Imperfectly, even very imperfectly was Ok with me. And now thanks to you i
am here in the 4th floor. I havent live with my parents since the age of 16-17. And there is good mood
specially mom, even dad law fi like ur mom bi 3ale2 el disk ma3un, but it’s ok it’s nothing for me. Again
thank to you my love.

Now the last point you know about : Affection and Sex. Of course Affection i received a lot from you,
though it wasnt the thing which i really really really needed absolutely because i had received from myra
also 7 years, but still affection/passion is like a drug and is addictive, and it’s not smthg i will repeat with
women in the future. Im not saying i will be zero emotion, but i don’t want that in my life anymore, it
always ends up badly, not just for me but all humans…. I observed it in all people, all nationnalities =
same result = bad ending. So it’s Spiritual Love and true friendship and brotherhood/sisterhood which
last forever, not passion. NOW, sex was more important and beneficial. I will tell you why. A male
testicules secrete Testosterone, and the nerves are linked from the penis going up the belly, lungs, heart,
neck and then the head. Exactly like the chakras they describe. A female doesnt have that problem, but
only her period. But for a male if Extreme catastrophe happens to a man, like years of not sleeping and
inflammation, as long as bi dall fi orgasm, bi dall ila 7add meshe el 7al. Bass if something even more
traumatic like prison at the end forces to stop ejaculating + inflammation, the testicules stop working
fine and the hormones will get out of balance, and the “motor” and chakras biebrdo, and this will
worsen health even more…. So because you accepted to sleep with me everyday and SURELY because
you are VERY horny to me, el moteur rije3 7ime which helped me with the long term potentiation of
meth to be ACTIVE again after 20 years of beeing PURE mental, and the physical barad. I’m sorry many
time the sex was a bit mashine-like (machinal), that’s how much i could give at that time…but you
kindled (gave fire) back my chakras and this affects also the brain and all the body and health. Big thanks
la attouchik el 7elo ktir :) :) :)

Now we begin with the new stuff and confessions : You were right since the beginning that even me
kinet ettabjan bil ru7. Even if i justified it inno it was for God, that doesn’t make it something good, it is
still tabjane ru7iyye. God never asked netabjan bil ru7 kirmelo. Bil 3akes Jesus clearly said don’t throw ur
pearls to pigs. And anybody who does, even for God, it’ bad in God’s eye, and it’s still tabjane ru7iyye.
Now this point is a bit linked to the number 6

It is true that I always told you : It is ME who told you since the first week i met you, when u were at the
hospital, that it is ME who wanted to get away from my friends, when you mentioned that it was YOU
who did that. But i always answered that it was my idea since the beginning. But now that i truly think
about it from outside the box and after beeing now the whole week alone, I came to the conviction that I
really wouldnt have done it without your help. That’s for sure. You were the main reason which
encouraged me to do it, because, when i compared them to you, i felt they are unworthy compared,
even the closest like Joe which i didnt originally plan to really do, neither some others too. But today I
know from God, that it happened like it should have happened like the prophecy says that “All have left
him and they went each his own way, and the Lord has put on him the iniquity of all… for the sins of my
people says God he was punished…though there was no deception in his mouth.” Again I thank you my
heart.

Very important point : Moving all the time. The first year till end of last summer when my parents
traveled to Egypt and gave us their home for 1 month : Before that kinte Over mghannejtine, yaane you
were always cleaning and moving and being active while on meth, while the first year i was always sitting
reading and researching like last 20 years (except when i worked at the clinic, which is not being active all
day long all week long). Till one day when we were at my parents home, and you spoke to me i forgot
what you told me exactly, but i know u were sick also at the same, time, and from that moment till NOW
i have not stopped being active, in ALL things. Not just clinic then sitting all the rest of the week. Later at
laylas, also till today i became again super hyperactive, because of you, something that i lost a long long
long time ago. If this didn’t happen the long term potentiation wouldnt have worked physically, and i
would have remained physically lazy and using only all my energy mentally. For the 7th time merci ktir ya
amar.

Now comes the last 2 confessions which are from the most important. This one is really long, i have a lot
of things to say about that : YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT MY MASCULINITY since the beginning
(which was exaggerated waaaay more that it should). This made me ACCEPT/JUSTIFY the idea of being
not only aggressive, but even mean (mechant), and I disrespected you Big Time in front of friends. W
even after a long time not seeing friends anymore ken 7a22ik 100% inno tkune ba3d ma bala3tiya (which
i critisized you about a few month ago) and still hurt SIMPLY BECAUSE I didn’t change actually still even a
few month ago, and i continued to be aggressive. The idea of when i told you many times : “Inno it was
“good” to have done it with you in the beginning ta rabbike from ur past or to create “el 3ayb fike” was
WRONG. Even if it worked ossit el 3ayb to some extent, bass now i know from God, and I”m sure that it
could have been done SURELY bil mni7, and I’m sure that the result bil 3ayb w gheir ossas would have
been WAAAY BETTER. Like they said in DAL (dialogue ac l’ange) : “Ce n’est pas avec le baton qu’on
eduque l’enfant”.......You and Myra are real angels to have forgiven me many times and and continued to
love me despite being at times a Real Monster with you both. I broke the nose of Myra after a few day of
her nose operation in 2013 when i took H for 6month (fi alf machkal gheir, bass this is the worst, also
ekhir machkal abel ma netrouk for good) and YOU now not to mention all the bruised on ur body from
all fights and specially the last one with your Rib mach3our…..which is till now hurting you much. This is
without counting the countless times we beat each other, aw akid ana yalle 90% the most
aggressive…..MARK MY WORDS :

If I turn out to NOT be Elijah or the Holy Spirit : then I will work again in my life and make money. And
will till then thing of a way, or something to compensate you both you and her, materially, because she is
married and has a kid, and you will be too at that time, if i’m neither Elijah and neither will God do
anything anytime soon (I’m sure all this point is not true, but i’m saying in case). Maybe it will be money
by some material goods, maybe i don’t know what, because the only way i could compensate you is
materially you and her, because i wouldnt be Elijah to give you smthg Spiritual. I surely dont give this
option much consideration and thoughts because I know and i am sure of who i am…..but just in case i
turned out to be wrong.

And If im Truly the Holy Spirit……then…….You have NO idea the Glory, the Spirityal Gifts and Power and
exalted position you will receive.When i first met you, when i told you, that i know you more than u
know urself you couldnt at the time imagine that you’ll be so close to God, so much transformed on all
levels, and so beautiful after having lost beauty last few year before we met. Now after 2 years you have
experienced urself (forget the little bad we have left for 2min) the Dramatic change in your whole
personality and in your whole life on ALL levels: Spiritual, faith, mentally and IQ and biblical and scientific
knowledge and in English you became super extra if you read what u wrote before on fb and insta and
how ur write now, also emotional maturity, and Physical and mental health (except bass nkun ma7rou2
dinna 3ala lack of sleep and drugs). And the MOST important of all that is that you now not ONLY believe
in God, or just have strong faith, but you are a Giant in the Spirit, Time will show. You’re now 28 years
old, and you changed those 2 years as much as 26 years times 10. NOW I’M TELLING AGAIN SOMETHING
NEW : again like i told u in the beginning i know who u are = i know how you will change and who you
will become, when it was impossible for you in the beginning to really know how you will be today. I’m
telling you again, but this time the change will be waaaaay more Big and unimaginable as much as it’s Big
: about your future : God Delights in you. I dont add to the Truth i speak neither do i take out of it
anything. It’s the plain Truth min dun bhar w mele7. U just have to wait like those 2 years, to see that
what im telling you about you WILL COME TO PASS. As it written in DAL about those who accepted to be
victimized and weak though they are not truly weak: “Le faible, la victime sera GLORIFIEE”........To
continue the subject of Masculinity : Yes it was a wrong Masculinity, surely NOT what God wanted with
someone like you, myra, even Haley and my family. You all, are NOT the aliens and demons and evil
satanic people with whom He created me to use my Masculinity against…..Only against those
Aboninations He created me to use it in the future, which all ofj you are the opposite. The worst is that I
was stupid enough to be convinced that it was Totally for ur good all of you. Yes Yes ok….even if some
good came through this bad method which you all agreed on in the past with me because i used to
always say : see it did good here and there. But today I see clearly compared to before, and I see clearly
that with this good came also a lot of BAD. If i put all this on a scale today, I can surely say that it was a
very shitty way of doing good. And also about Masculinity : Yes you were right also when you said many
times in the past with Pride many time, actually with Zeal : That God created also the woman for a great
purpose and and not less than man in Dignity or any other Virtue…. Desiree you shouldn’t have lied or
techtere el charr when you said next day after the fight bass fasamet ana w ken firas 3inna : “inno No i
didn’t talk about Masculinity that night. You should have said yes i said it and i meant it….bass khallas sar
yalle sar… and u were actually right all along about that. Also many other times (read whatsapp archive
on ur hard disk = first machkal you spoke also about masculinity) and also many times afterward you did
also…. But you always denied it afterwards just to protect my feeling i know, aw ta techtere el charr….u
were totally right, and i was wrong. Now, when u said that God created women for great purposes ect…
of course i agreed since i knew God since birth, so akid i knew it was true coz i knew that even every hair
on our heads are counted, so imagine creating Women is not surely important in God’s
eyes….But….though i knew that….my view of femininity was still incomplete and imperfect compared to
how i see it TODAY. The Divine Spirits of the Son Jesus, and of the Holy Spirit comes from God their
Father, all know that. But they both had mothers, sisters and lovers. If the Highest 2 Sons couldnt come
to earth without a Woman to carry them in their womb, then how important is the Woman then??? If
the two Sons had a need of being breastfed and raised, clothed,ect by their mothers, then this is how
important is the woman. If the highest 2 in Heaven and earth (under the Father) NEEDED women… then
How important are the woman then? If the Son of God appeared in 1 gospel to 3 women before
everybody else…..and in the Gospel of John to ONE woman before other men and women, to his Dear
Lover Mary Magda…..then again how much irreplaceable are True, Holy women? IIf Jesus was closer to
Mary Magda, more than all His Male men disciples, then we can SURELY say here : women are not only
very important, but even SOME Women are wayyy more exalted and glorified by God than many men
(even Holy men like the Male disciples). It’s Obvious how much God Delights in these Women!!!! And to
end this subject : If the poor holy spirit in all his miserable life of sorrows and diseases..;God sent him
special women from cynthia to mom to sigrid, then julie, myra and YOU princess, the Desired one. If God
sent the Holy Spirit not only men (who were good in things but limited in other things) but special
women to teach him what he lacked after he gave them also what he could give them…these women
who were with him in this life (Also before) ALSO helped him carry his cross at the darkest hour on earth
today. That means that these women participated also with the Son and the Holy Spirit in the plan of
Salvation…..And specially that last WOMAN….she, who is So Much Desired in Heaven by God and all His
angels. These women accepted in Heaven before this life to come here in this life to carry the cross too
and be Victims like the Son and Holy Spirit (H.S.). And today these things these women accepted to do
what they vowed in Heaven, and they did today on earth. Then surely Holy Women (not jezebels) are
extremely important and some woman are more Delighted by God than many men and prophets
including the 2 Marys ect…Even if the highest 3 are Men (Father/Son/H.S.)....doesnt change the fact that
the Son and H.S. were born of women as Mothers, and have the brides as Highly exalted women. You
know the word coincidence or Chance doesnt exist in Heaven. It’s all Divinely controled by God, that’s
why yesterday night, God let me open my mail box and real old sent mails or others mails…. And I find an
email i sent to Myra like 10-12 years ago about a few stories from the jews about Elijah the prophets
were Elijah Clearlyu speaks aout the same subject, the Divine purpose that God intended for Women…its
long i will only copy paste about women and it says :

“After going to heaven, Elijah's came back to earth coutnless times for purely human relations to the
world revealed themselves in their fulness, neither in his deeds of charity, nor in his censorious rigor, but
rather in his gentle and scholarly intercourse with the great in Israel. He is sometimes their disciple and
sometimes their teacher. . As a matter of course, his intimate knowledge of the supernatural world
makes him appear more frequently in the role of giver than receiver. Thus it was Elijah who taught Rabbi
Jose the deep meaning hidden in the Scriptural passage in which woman is designated as the helpmeet
of man. By means of examples he demonstrated to the Rabbi how indispensable woman is to man.”
Definition of INDISPENSABLE : ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

LAST E3TIRAF :(VERY IMPORTANT) : God used you in a very very unique way for a specific subject which
is of Great Importance for me and God and Humanity. In that long sorrowful life on mine, and at the
Darkest hour in History = now. Title of the Subject el e3tiraf: The physical appearance of any being in
heaven or on earth ! Is it important or not?? I will answer this question in a bit. But first I received
revelation from God about the dream you had with Jesus where He tells you that your face will heal and
be beautiful again. (and everything that He planned with you in that dream (u dont remember those
detail, but they happened in reality and in actions) : When Jesus told you about how ur face will change
again and be beautiful, He had a Big plan behind it. I suspect it at the time, but didn’t understand what i
understand today. He surely did for you too first because He loves you a lot and knew u were not the
“coquette” u were when younger. And He knows that women care about their appearance, even men,
but usually women more. Though YOU Desiree, if you remember when i met you and it lasted many
months : YOU DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE ABOUT UR APPEARENCE. Do you remember why? Because
you lived so many bad traumas and experiences and deceptions, and addictions, and psychosis, and
finally the worse was imm el nour where u got uglier that all the years before, and when u went out, you
went crazy all around like all the stories u told me, like ur mom confirms ect….kind of staslamte lal amer
el we2e3 and the became less than important to you, you wanted to heal smthg else waaay before
appearance, you also wanted to find someone who you truly love and him truly love, which u did i
hope :p when you found me. Now pause a bit here. A small part of scripture where the Holy Spirit is
described as man of sorrows of disease, and ugly in appearance, unattractive esthetically, which is why
he was even more despised, contrast with Jesus who was perfect in beauty and all other things, His
parents knew who He was before He was born, kings from other countries came worshiping Him at His
birth, shepherds and so many people from everywhere came and worshipped Him, and He did miracles
since baby.ect…. Now that is exactly me today worse than i ever was before ,though i was never super
handsome my whole life… a few periods usually very short i was cute, never more…..but since about at
least 12 to 14 years uglier and uglier. True i’m stronger today compared with when i was thin but beeing
a bit stronger is the only quality physically…appearance wise uglier and uglier. I know u used tghannjine
in the past “yioborne modelak” w gheir ossas, bass i used to laugh inside of me, saying 3am bit bi3ne
7ake hel benet, or she loves me, and she not giving all the attention of the appearance more spiritually…
ect…So let’s begin with Isaiah 53 (original Hebrew version)

“He had no form nor comelines(i have zero forme, wala bi wijje double menton w fat in an ugly way) and
even my body, my belly, killne yaane, afich forme ya habibte, like when we went once at Ziad Moutran’s
place in Maar Mikhael and there was this girl there, whom i showed the 2 video 3al mtv, taba3 last year
and taba3 2015, and she clearly said inno the elie of last year and now yaane ma ana3a, bass the other
elie of 2015 ana3a, of course it’s obvious why, and TODAY I’M SURE SHE IS RIGHT, I’LL TALK ABOUT THAT
A BIT LATER

that we should look upon him,

Nor beauty that we should delight in him. (NO BEAUTY, even the ugliest prophet i am waaay worse than
him)

3He was despised, and forsaken of men, A man of pains, and acquainted with disease, (This is the
original version where they say DISEASES, he is used to having a lifetime of diseases, THAT IS SURELY NOT
JESUS PERFECT IN HEALTH/BEAUTY/ EVERYTHING

And as one from whom men hide their face:

He was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4Surely our diseases he did bear, and our pains he carried;

Whereas we did esteem him stricken,

Smitten of God, and afflicted. (= 7aram Allah darbo, marid…akid ma 7adan starja yie7ke heik 3an Jesus,
Wala ata3it bi bel 7adan as Perfect as He was)

……

10Yet it pleased the LORD to crush him by disease; (It Pleased God to curse him by disease….hone bass
ktachafet hel verse bi 7ayete, ballashet sir masochiste, coz ken sarle deja chi 14 years 3azeb w kill yiom
ekheyal akid bukra Allah bi jewebne)
He has put Him to sadness

When You make His soul an offering for sin,

He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,

And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.

11[r]He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied.

By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,

For He shall bear their iniquities.

So, Now, why say all this, and how is this related to your dream With Jesus about your Face???

To understand why you must remember how you were at imm el nour and afterward and when you met
me. U surely didnt look like today, far from it. Even el coiffeur hayda jarik, 3emellik coupe sorciere and
you didn’t give a shit, i cut it for you :)

Now it’s been a while you became beautiful, and change this attitude you had towards yourself which is
not caring about ur appearance much. I don’t know if you still can remember that in you, because its
been a year or more you became again really very attractive compared to when i met you…..

And u know how much i listened to your past, and how much i know all ur file from the past, and even
made u database of all ur photos. So most of ur life you were attractive. Except maybe a few years before
u met me rje3te la wara mni7…..so we can say it was relatively short for you, compared how long it was
for me…..if you were beautiful and sexy most of ur life and just a few years tbasha3te, w sar mitel zabrik
ekhir chi…kif iza wa7ad mitle the opposite, yaane just few short period cute, and most of life ugly in
different ways, chi 3ala do3ef mich tabi3e chi like now chi allahu a3lam, many bad shapes different each
time of the years….. So ana sar mich mitel ayre like you , sar mitel chrit sobbat ayrayne….i knew that and
still didn’t give a shit, coz the pain and suffering and add/adhd depression ect was waaaaay more
important to heal then the appearance. Now God knew the time would come where my knowledge
would be completed and my instinct restored, and my family having their hearts turned back to me
ect….. But God knew my life before i live it…. And He said clearly in the prophecy that before
transformation and becoming “A crown of glory and diadem of beauty”, for most of his past the opposite
was true, no forme, no beauty, undesirable in appearance. Diseased….ect… and this will be a big
problem to correct too coz how can you make someone who doesnt care, care again about his
appearance?

Since 2015 till today (even in the past, but at least i was cute not like now), still went out with many girls,
but i know it’s because of my caracter and charm, and surely not because of my sexiness or because i’m
Don Juan de Marco in bed……even when i was young a cute (to handsome, max cute), i had a friend
called Jean Noel whom i taught kif yiot7ach 3al banet ect…. Ana kinet maniak yaane chidd banet ktir.
Bass sar yiballish yiot7ach 3a banet (he is prettier than me for sure), he began to ask those girls who is
more handsome him or me, and they all answered the same thing which i surely agreed with even now,
they said : “you are more handsome, but he is more charming”

Anyway. Now God knew of course all that would happen, and it’s God who gave those specific word to
write about this servant, his appearance, his diseases, despised… ect who will come at the end of times.

Now what God showed me this week : Ok the prophecy had to be fulfilled and it was, but until a time…
then the opposite must begin to take place. But the question is HOW, when that man is person who is
acquainted (he is used to) to being ugly, sick and despised????

If he doesnt care, it’s nearly impossible to make him care, unless….? (in abit)

So Jesus in Your dream told you a prophesied your face will heal and change and you’ll look good
again….but you surely forgot the rest, but it’s obvious because it already happened. Surely it was for your
first, because you deserved it, you believed in Him so fast, and was changing daily. But most importantly
for me, not to nourish my personnel ego, because He knew my ego didn’t care anymore about those
things. So yes for me too, because if i don’t do it also for myself, then I cannot do it for others.

It turned out, God showed me in many ways, that the appearance of any being is very very important.
Not like satan with whom it became waaay more important than the purity of his SPIRIT…. I became the
opposite of satan (and u lived that too for a few years) which means i cared ONLY ABOUT MY SPIRIT, BUT
NOT AT ALL ABOUT MY APPEARENCE. I kind of knew one day i will, but it looked like that day would
never come as much as i forgot that at a certain point in spirituality, it is very very important the way we
look. Of course the inner beauty is waay more important as the first condition. But if the spirit is purified
enough, and is working on Holiness day by day, then if that person has to be great one day in the eyes of
God, then the outside HERE becomes also very very important. Why? Because the inside is already pure
enough (mich ma3neta ma fi baad sins to cleanse, bass minority). Se3eta IF THE OUTSIDE IS NOT
BEAUTIFUL, THEN IT WILL NOT WORK. BECAUSE IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT THE OUTSIDE IS A REFLECTION OF
THE INSIDE ET VICE VERSA (though there is deception and satan though he is very ugly now, can disguise
himself as very beautiful, but its deguisement).

So at a certain point it is not just important, but absolutely necessary that the outside also reflects the
inside. If not, then people will attributes ugliness to someone at the image of God??????????? Istaghfara
Allah…..He surely shines in His beauty.

You get my point?

So Jesus told you that your face is gonna change a lot, and that because you are 12 years younger than
Elie, when elie will make you eat cleaner + fasting + water/bicarb ect… He told you that you will be fast
to change while elie not. Elie will see it since the beginning, but try to avoid it. But this will eventually
create the jealousy necessary for Him to wake up from his indifference, and begin ta apply all his
knowledge to transform in appearance, which took till now Desiree.

La7ze how many people insisted that i should change how i look. MTV the guy who is wa7ad machhour
bi addem bernemij every week, said to Riccardo my uncle, let him yizabbet chaklo w yiod3af, w ana
btall3o 30min live 3ala bernemje……for me ka2anno ma 7adan 7eke…….and i count a lot of people who
everytime they see me repeat the same thing, from my whole family to my cousin and aunt and friends,
even the guy Paul the twisted guy we saw on Video call 3end layla, he didn’t have anything to attack me
with ({ken baddo yireddele yeha coz i was critisising him kirmel el freebase and his bad diet ect) , he also
said something like “inta chil kirchak bil awwal” aw chi min hel no3……ect so many examples…..and still
didn’t care from outside, but from inside something was happening which i wasnt TOTALLY conscious
about like now.

Of course humans see including me akid. I mean look at the photos when we first met. We were chouei
mitel baad ka jamel wise. But now if we take a picture together and compare it with the first when we
met, sar fi ktir fare2….ana i became even worse than when we met. And you the opposite you became
way more pretty…you have some pictures where ur were like Gorgeous really…..

So result????? It’s here that i realised CONSCIOUSLY THIS week, that actually part of me saw it since a
long time kif you’re getting prettier and me the opposite, since last summer maybe 3ind cynthia….. So
now I”M sure that this has also played a BIG BIG BIG role in my paranoia. Because surely my eyes have
seen ur evolution, and my subconscious ego at the time became jealous also, and not just OF you, but
also of anyone who will look at you anywhere even 3al newlne ta7et el clinic. Because i instinctively
understood and saw that ur becoming waaaaay more attractive than when i met, and me the opposite,
so i knew that people will look more and more at you doesnt matter if you were with me or not. Coz
even me instead of getting bored of you over time, i was getting more attracted because you were
becoming more sexy and more beautiful. And i think from here we know the rest of the story……till
today, or this week, when i realised all of this, something big clicked inside of me. And said to God, of
course you were right God, it was you using first Desiree to create jealousy in me (like what i did with
chant a bit), and also God used so many people saying to me the same thing again and again. So not just
2 or 3 witnesses but way more. But then satan found another way to discourage me. You. Akid ma asdik.
How? By telling me yioburne modelak and things like that. Which for a while i did’t say anything about it,
though i surely did’t agree….but after a while, i began to tell u if you remember. Desiree ur discouraging
me by telling me this. I know u love me, bass on a physical appearance level you are not. But then also,
you always said and made me feel inno u like me as i am ect…..so rkhita kamen ziede 3a fatra, specially
at layla’s last 5months…..ect ….ect …. Till now….. And now i know appearance is very important, God
Chose this specific time to change me now because not only i am ready and willing, but the knowledge is
ripe, i know what to do, even if it takes months even a year or i don’t know how much.

So voila 3atarafet bil kill chi for today. I can’t remember for the time being smthg else i missed but if i do
remember, ill tell u…….

P.S. : Also if this internet work will accept me, it’s not a coincidence that God permitted netkhena2 bi
ouwwe w to be FORCED to separate, because with 27 millions a months we would have never stopped
druggs for year if we stayed together like before……..

Uff t3ebet ktir add ma rakkazet. Hope i didn’t do a lot of typing mistakes.

I kiss you deeply my love.

After going to heaven, Elijah's came back to earth coutnless times for purely human relations to the
world revealed themselves in their fulness, neither in his deeds of charity, nor in his censorious rigor, but
rather in his gentle and scholarly intercourse with the great in Israel, especially the learned Rabbis of the
Talmudic time. He is at once their disciple and their teacher. To one he resorts for instruction on difficult
points, to another he himself dispenses instruction. As a matter of course, his intimate knowledge of the
supernatural world makes him appear more frequently in the role of giver than receiver. Many a bit of
secret lore the Jewish teachers learnt from Elijah, and he it was who, with the swiftness of lightning,
carried the teachings of one Rabbi to another sojourning hundreds of miles away.Thus it was Elijah who
taught Rabbi Jose the deep meaning hidden in the Scriptural passage in which woman is designated as
the helpmeet of man. By means of examples he demonstrated to the Rabbi how indispensable woman is
to man.Rabbi Nehorai profited by his exposition of why God created useless, even noxious insects. The
reason for their existence is that the sight of superfluous and harmful creatures prevents God from
destroying His world at times when, on account of the wickedness and iniquity prevailing in it, it repents
Him of having created it. If He preserves creatures that at their best are useless, and at their worst
injurious, how much more should He preserve human beings with all their potentialities for good.The
same Rabbi Nehorai was told by Elijah, that God sends earthquakes and other destructive phenomena
when He sees places of amusement prosperous and flourishing, while the Temple lies a heap of dust and
ashes.To Rabbi Judah he communicated the following three maxims: Let not anger master thee, and thou
wilt not fall into sin; let not drink master thee, and thou wilt be spared pain; before thou settest out on a
journey, take counsel with thy Creator.