CLEVE ANDRE G.

ERO Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

Student of Theology-I 8th day of December 2022
St. Ambrose of Milan Class

The End and the Beginning

As I woke earlier, I stood at the front of the door; it was open, and I saw a vast horizon of
reality; then I finally reached into my consciousness that the semester was flying like an
arrow...it shortly strikes my most profound awareness what I did in the first semester. I realize
there is a reflection that needs to be done. Then I wrote...

This is the last reflection of the apostolate for the first semester of Formation Year 2022-
2023. This is the end but a new beginning. It was apt for my feet to move forward, bringing the
mundane experiences I had in my first semester, particularly in my apostolate. This is formative,
forming myself towards a greater responsibility. This is just a foretaste that is ahead of me. That
is why I need to submit myself to the formation. To be ready for the great mission.

Now there is a fear of seeing and asking myself if I will become a fruitful, reasonable,
and holy priest in my future ministry. To these questions, why did this experience bring me into
my consciousness? Why it bothers me? Is it necessary to ponder and give attention?
I still remembered in one of our casual talks with my friend priest, he said and I quote
“nakikita mo nga diri ka magigin maupay nga padi tungod iton han imo inaabat (disposition)
yana, and he added, “kay ano diri ka lat ba pwede maghuna-huna nga pwede ka lat magin
maupay nga padi?”. And it gives me a point for reflection. He throws me to a vast horizon of
reality. For that instance, the statement I posed above now gives me a door to why I uttered and
was conscious about that thing. In this essay, I want to dwell on my experience aforesaid to get
an insight into God's promptings.

More precisely, in the integral dimension of formation (spiritual, pastoral, academic, and
community), they cannot be separated from each other. They must go hand in hand. I am always
bothered and conscious of whether I learn something from these dimensions, especially in the
subject matter I studied and the professor's discussion. And even in my mundane experiences. I
always have this principle, "I have to study and reflect on this particular area of discipline and
experience because I am certain that it is useful in my future ministry. I am not saying that I will
be the one to solve the entire problem in my assigned apostolate area as if I am a messiah. If I
had missed that thing, I probably needed to give more guidance to the people I assisted with.
And I look at this as my participation in God's grace. I firmly believe that his grace is enough,
but it needs cooperation. And my best way to cooperate is to study well, for now. That is why I
eagerly study and reflect. But sometimes, when I get bored with a study, I am idle and lazy.
Studying here means that I have to learn from what I experience and the day's topic. But the
issue is that I have always had this tendency to study in such a manner that I will experience a
"Jack of all trades, master of none." This is a problem. For things that come in a rush manner,
there is a big possibility that the outcome is messy. And learnings are easy to fly away. I have
noticed it many times. I realized that I had made this academic obligation in a hurry.
Consequently, it confused me and muddled my focus—that is, to form myself according to the
very image of Christ.

How can I address this particular problem? Where can I go?

CLEVE ANDRE G. ERO Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception
Student of Theology-I 8th day of December 2022
St. Ambrose of Milan Class

Since I am a theology student, what if I turn to God since all these things come from
Him. All the knowledge that I am studying sought by a theologian through the inspiration of the
Holy Spirit is rooted in the revealed truths of God itself. What I want to intend is that there was
no theology without God. And since studying theology is very rooted in the mystery of God
visibly to its written sacred text. There is a necessity to be in contact with that God. And I think it
is good to remember Blessed Pope Paul I, who said, "Theologians talk a lot about God. I wonder
how often they talk to God."

That question is not exclusively for theologians but also for theology students. I would
like to reiterate with a loud voice, "How often do I talk to God?". Talking to God with my little
victories, significant defeats, struggle, and good deeds and with the situation that I have.

At times of trouble and necessity, I talk with God. But how often do I talk to God?
"Every day" I do not know if that conversation makes sense. It is God whom I must first
encounter, not the well-known opus books of theologians nor professors, or formators. And after
the day, it must be Him whom the last to meet. It must be God whom, in the first place my
starting point in theologizing. But the question is how and in what manner? I think it is necessary
that I have to build a solid foundation to the one and source of all the revealed truths…To have
found is to encounter Him; listening in silence without talking, just listen to Him; he will prompt
and inspire you to do what is essential and necessary. It is a problem for me because the moment
I stop talking, begging, and thanking Him, many thoughts come into my mind to the extent that I
cannot already hear His voice because of the noise. Until now, I have struggled to discipline
myself in this particular area. When will it be the time that I naturally talk to God? But for now, I
must establish that solid foundation to encounter Him. Encountering that leads to witnessing—to
be a witness of God's ineffable mystery. I hope and pray that someday in God's own time when it
is necessary to speak, I will articulate in front of His people that brings conversion to their way
of life.

Lord, bring me closer to you so that in everything that I do, it is you that I see the most.