If you've ever wanted to know what personality type leads to being beloved by men

and women alike, you're going to like this video. I started researching for this
video intending to make something around Thor but I very quickly realized that the
real person worth studying is Chris Hemsworth. He's one of the greatest guys I've
ever met. ...but isn't like the dynamic between you two when you're on set. It's
magical. It's really, uh... it's sweet and it's very nurturing. Now sweet and
nurturing aren't normally words that men used to describe other men but there are
four things about Chris that seem to truly make people love being around him. Even
castmates that started out not wanting to like him end up raving about him. I just
needed something to be wrong with him. And there is nothing. Nothing at all. And
also for the four of you, it must be very annoying that you got to think, "Oh,
you're very funny and here's this hunk. He's annoyingly funny—" And the hyper for
his latest movie Thor Ragnarok is off the charts because we finally found a
director that's willing to let Chris and Thor bleed their personalities together
just like Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man. [Applause] Yes! We know each other. He's
a friend from work. Oh, come on. Host: He's a more you in Thor this time around.
Chris: I think so, yeah. That was the goal. And it literally transformed Thor from
the worst-ranked Marvel movie on Rotten Tomatoes to the highest. By the way, I saw
the movie last night. This might be the best Marvel movie of all. I don't know how
they keep doing it. Now it's worth saying part of his appeal is absolutely that
he's great-looking — there's no doubt — about it but everything we talked about
today will apply to you no matter what you look like So let's take a look at
Chris's personality and what makes him so special. First, Chris Hemsworth is
hilarious. The fact that Thor Ragnarok is being called the funniest Marvel movie
yet is a testament to this because the movie was mostly improvised. We've covered
humor a lot in previous videos so this video will mostly center around other traits
that are more unique to Chris Hemsworth but it's worth noting because it's
definitely a big part of why people like him so much. Do you need Chris to lean
back a little bit? Otherwise, you're right my shot. So anyway, uh... Are we
competitive? Not at all... [Host laughing] Here Chris uses a great and easy-to-use
principle called Do the Opposite. You don't want to use an abuse this but it's an
easy fun way to be playful and make people laugh. If you want to deep dive into
this type of playful self-amusing humor, I will put a link to a breakdown we did on
Chris Pratt at the end of this video. Now that said, there's one common theme in
Chris's jokes that is definitely worth spending a minute on. He almost always
chooses to put himself on the same team as other people and he makes jokes that
elevate the people around him. I lead his fanbase. I'm finally a member of that one
too. They're calling for a Loki movie. We are. Is it we now? Or how he playfully
assures Chris Evans that he's got his back and then later on, how he answers when
asked the one thing that's a must-have at a party. Evans: "Well, this is gonna
sound strange but..." Hemsworth: "Say it. Say it..." Hemsworth: God, I'm with you.
I'm right here with you. Evans: "Say it. Say it..." [Laughs] It's Chris Evans — a
must-have in a party, let me tell you. This may seem like a small thing but he
doesn't time and time again. And there are real benefits to defaulting to that type
of humor. One, it makes people laugh; two, it makes your friends feel great and
really like being around you; and three, you lift yourself up as well and you do it
without bragging because if your friends are awesome, it stands to reason that you
must be awesome as well. I don't want to give anything away but you'll see this in
Thor Ragnarok 2. Now, one caveat here — this has to be done right so that you
don't look like a suck-up. We'll go through how to walk that fine line at the end
of this video. First, I want to point out two quick things about making jokes that
elevate people. It's important to keep these short. I have a friend — a really,
really nice well-intentioned guy — who tries his best to do this for me whenever we
go out. But he drags it on for so long that even though it starts by getting a
laugh three minutes in, it just feels try-hard and awkward. Chris Hemsworth avoids
this completely by throwing in a funny elevating joke and then moving on without
dwelling on it at all. And the last point on this — it's worth noting that he's not
like this 100% of the time. He definitely teases people but they receive it well
because he's been complimentary in the past For example, watch Chris Evans lose his
mind in this next clip. ...those slide of Thor that's so great is you bring these
slightly different nuances to Thor whether he's on Asgard or on earth or whatever
you'd like. You bring new aspects whereas with Captain America, it's like— He
doesn't have nuance. [Everyone laughs] Yes! And then he does it again as soon as
they've gathered themselves. And then we always see Captain America evolving into
his leadership role but as we see you evolving, like, more and more as— Hemsworth:
[High-pitched "Yeah"] Evans: [Bursts out in laughter] And what Chris does amazingly
well is balance this playful jokester persona with another side of himself that is
very genuine. I never was torturous at all so I'm incredibly proud of this. This
creates depth in him and is a very powerful thing that you can do too. There are
certain emotions we all share — pride after working hard, fear of not being good
enough, envy of the success or achievements of others, and so on. If you can share
them honestly without fear of judgment, it's really powerful. The second thing
Chris Hemsworth is incredible at is touch. Touch is something we get asked about
often — how, where, when — how do I make sure I'm not being weird or making anyone
uncomfortable? Touch is incredibly important for human interaction and I don't
just mean romantic relationships. Studies have shown it increases trust and liking
amongst friends and co-workers and can even lower blood pressure, heart rate, and
the stress hormone cortisol. That said, if done wrong, touch can create awkwardness
and make people uncomfortable around you. I didn't know this before making this
video but Chris Hemsworth is easily one of the touchiest people I have ever seen
and there are a ton of great little details about touch to learn from watching
Chris. So there it is. There is your answer to who is funny in the room.
Interviewer: Can I ask about that? What's that about? Chris: Well, I didn't see the
monitor over there, right? And I know now we're trying to share the punch off but
what it looks like is that me and you are... really into each other and we're on
the fence here. Now I know that some people are very uncomfortable both touching
others and being touched and I'm not saying you have to do this to be likable or
charismatic but I am saying that it helps a lot. That said, there are three
principles that will make sure that your touch is well-received. First, be a
universal toucher. Touch everyone. Obviously, not equally; certain relationships to
the person will impact the level of touch but as you saw, Chris will reach out to
his co-workers, his director, later you'll see he does it to a reporter, and I even
found one example here where Chris is meeting someone for the first time. It's Paul
McCartney; that's cool. It's pretty awesome, yeah. [Audience laughs] Becoming a
universal toucher is a great habit to incorporate because it conveys confidence
without much effort and without needing the conversational spotlight. Just the fact
that Chris is so comfortable touching right off the bat screams self-assured
confidence. Being a universal toucher is especially important if you're a guy. I've
spoken to many female friends about this and there's nothing creepier than being a
woman who's meeting a new guy who seems to have singled you out and is touching
you non-stop. Being a universally touchy person conveys warmth and confidence.
Singling out one person has the potential to feel predatory. That's actually
another reason why I highly recommend that you become a universal toucher. Start
incorporating touch with your friends and family and not just when flirting because
when you incorporate touch into your non-sexual relationships, you get used to
touching without it being creepy or having any sexual motives. That brings me to my
second touch principal — adjust where you touch and how long you touch based on
your relationship to the person, how the conversation has gone, and their body
language. Do they tighten and freeze up or do they welcome it? This is also going
to vary extremely based on what country and culture you're in. To highlight this,
check out the difference in touch when Chris is with an acquaintance compared to
when he's with the director he's been working closely with for months. See you,
buddy. Here we are. I can say we're sitting a lot closer to each other than— Two
cultures together — the warrior tribes in Australia, yeah. Now obviously, that's an
over-the-top example but it just highlights the importance of calibrating your
touch to who you're with. The opposite of that would be to be what I call a
lingerer where you're always touching for too long and you're never checking in
with the person to see if they're comfortable. I won't explain the circumstances
because he might be watching but I have an acquaintance who makes everyone around
him very uncomfortable because he'll start rubbing your shoulders or your back for
way too long without checking to see if you've tightened up or are touching back
and, spoiler, no one is ever touching back with this person.
The opposite and equally awkward side of that coin is to have a scared touch or
hover hands. If you touch like you're terrified of how the person will react it
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and is destined to be awkward. So what's a good
rule of thumb for how to touch? That's principle number three — make it feel good.
That may sound obvious to you but the way Chris touches his male friends is very
different to how most men touch each other in Western society. We have a lot of
aggressive overcompensating in our culture where guys will slap each other really
hard on the back or punch each other in the arm. Maybe some guys just love being
slapped and five-start but I think that a lot of it comes from being terrified that
any sort of nice physical contact with a man will suddenly have them labeled
something pejorative. Chris clearly does not share this fear. Notice how he gives a
brief massage for a second then moves his hand to Mark's back. There's no
hesitation, it's clearly non-sexual, and you can tell Mark is comfortable the whole
time and even reciprocate. Probably not. Yeah, whole new version of the big gray
monsters, you know? This segues really nicely into the third thing that Chris
Hemsworth does that makes everyone around him fall in love with him. Chris shares
potentially embarrassing things about himself as if they are not a big deal and he
speaks as if he is unconcerned with being judged negatively especially for not
being quote-unquote manly enough. For example, here is with Jimmy Fallon where
Jimmy is basically giving Chris an alley-oop to make fun of his brother. ...and I
saw this photo; it's all over the internet. This is your brother Jimmy: and he got
his nails painted or something like that; what is he doing— Chris: Yeah. And
instead, when a lot of men might be embarrassed to say it, Chris shares that he
also had his nails painted that day. Jimmy: Dude, what is the story behind this?
Chris: Uh, that was us painting each other's nails, yeah. No, you didn't. No, we
didn't. My daughter and my nieces painted everybody's nails so I actually had my
nails painted as well. This is an incredibly charismatic trait. By sharing these
things as if they're not a big deal, he comes across as so comfortable in his own
skin. Here's another example where he's asked who his movie crush is. My cinematic
crush? Robin Wright Penn in Princess Bride. I just watched that the other day
actually. Uh, she's just so incredibly beautiful and confident and strong and smart
and witty and I love that movie. He doesn't hesitate for a second to say those
things. It screams confidence and this isn't just limited to masculinity and
femininity. This applies to anything you do where you might feel embarrassed.
What's great about committing to this is you basically only give yourself two
options in life — own what you do or don't do it. If you decide that you're going
to stop hiding anything that you do from other people, you'll end up living a life
you're more proud of, your confidence will skyrocket, and you'll end up attracting
the right kind of people into your life. The fourth thing Chris Hemsworth does
better than anyone I've ever seen is share praise. Let's rewatch that Jimmy Kimmel
clip where Jimmy says this may be the best Marvel movie yet and watch how Chris
responds. I don't know how they keep doing it; it's unbelievable. I'll tell you how
— it's Taika Waititi. Chris is the title character. He plays a huge part in why the
film is getting such fantastic reviews but he doesn't skip a beat before crediting
Taika for his directing. This will be especially useful for you if you're someone
who spends time in a team environment so this can apply to athletics, group
projects, or a work environment that involves managing other people or having a
manager. Selfish people who are scared they aren't good enough will try to take all
the credit for things because they think it makes them look better. This fails in
two ways — one, people like humility and if you share the praise, it will make the
people around you trust you when you say who's actually responsible or if you do
deserve all the credit. And two, life is a long-term game. By sharing the praise
and being complimentary, Chris creates great relationships with other people which
in turn creates a great work product. Now they all benefit because they were part
of an excellent movie. This may seem to be limited only the movies or performances
but it's really true of any job or any team. By building close relationships with
your boss, you get more leeway and a higher pay come Bonus Time. And by forming
better relationships with the people below you, you'll get higher quality work
delivered for you. Here he is again cutting off a chance to be praised for being
funny so that he can praise Taika. So who's funnier? Wait, wait, wait. There's a
third person in this conversation. And here he is crediting Kate Blanchet and Mark
Ruffalo for bringing up his acting in Thor Ragnarok. We call it The Contact Eye.
You kind of stand near a certain person, you get kind of lifted as much as what
happens when I stand next to Ruffalo. Now how does Chris make these compliments
come off as genuine and not fake? I don't know for him but for myself and everyone
I've worked with in coach; the answer is pretty simple but it's effective — only
compliment someone when you mean it. The second tricky part about compliments is —
how do you make someone feel good without coming across as a suck-up? You have to
calibrate this to your social status in that moment and the situation in general.
That's why a compliment from boss to employee can make an employee's day but a
compliment from employee to boss might seem like sucking up but it also might make
the boss's day. It depends what you compliment and what comes before and after it.
That's a longer topic but I'll link to a video on the four emotions that create an
amazing first impression that goes into it in a bit more detail. It's part of our
Charisma University program so we don't have it on YouTube but if you click the
link and drop your email in you'll get access to that part totally free. Putting
those four emotions in the wrong order is what leads to a compliment feeling like
a suck-up. One other thing worth noting — Chris hemsworth has an amazing voice. I
literally just made a video on voice so I'll link to both that and the Chris Pratt
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