Getting To Know Me

Long story short, I am a frustrated doctor. I remember during my

elementary years; I would always wear a lab gown and stethoscope during our
career month to show people that I wanted to become a doctor when I grow up.
Honestly, in my mind, I just wanted to become a doctor because I thought that
their uniforms were cool. However, my parents thought that my silly childhood
dreams were serious and has been expecting me to become one. They’ve been
bragging to people that I’ll be the first doctor in our family, and honestly, I liked
it when relatives hear it and tell me that “Hala pao, mag doctor ka? Excited na
ko para nimo!” I felt like those were praises. And so, I told myself that I’ll
become a doctor to make my parents and the people around me proud.
However, when I started growing up and realizing things, I realized that my
likings have changed too.

I went to a science high school to have a great foundation for my college

entrance tests. I thought by making that decision, it’ll cement my mind about
taking up medicine, since my only reason was to please my family. However,
instead of getting the urge of wanting to become a doctor, I started hating the
idea of it. First, I realized that I hate science and math. I only liked it during
elementary because it was basic, however, reaching in high school, I realized it
was much more complex, and it wasn’t fun for me anymore. Second, during
elementary, I didn’t really have the opportunity to explore the world. However,
during high school, my perspective has been broadened. I joined clubs and
realized that I liked the arts more than science and math. I realized I liked to
draw, cook, and bake. I tried telling my parents about my realization in Grade
9, because it was the first time, I found something that I really wanted to do.
Instead of getting some motivation from them, I was turned down. They told me
“Ay gusto ka mag chef / artist? Wala man kay future ana anak.” I was
heartbroken but I just kept quiet since I didn’t want to argue with them. I tried
my best to just follow what they want but it was hard for me to do something I
didn’t completely come to like. I tried again and again to convince them that
medicine is not for me, but they always disagreed with me until I ran out of
time to convince them.

College application came and I was still struggling with what I want
versus what my parents want. My parents told me to choose a science-related
program so that it’ll be easier for me when I proceed to medicine. My only two
options were UP and IIT. I chose Food Technology in UP since it was about
food, and I enjoy cooking so I think I would enjoy it. In IIT I chose nursing just
because a lot of my schoolmates chose it. Fast forward, I received that I passed
UP. I was very happy since I got in my dream school and a program, I’m happy
with. I tried talking again with my parents; however, they still didn’t allow me
to take up Food Technology. The situation frustrated me which led to a heated
argument with my parents. In the end, they told me they’d allow me to study in
UP if my SASE score isn’t enough to enter nursing. We also came to a
consensus that if ever I get in nursing, I won’t be proceeding to medicine; that’s
how much I hated the idea of taking up medicine. Unfortunately, I was
qualified to enter nursing so here I am now.

It’s quite hard to study when you don’t like the program, you’re in.
However, I also hate failing so I will do my best here. The only reason why I
agreed with my parents to take up nursing was because they told me they
wouldn’t force me to proceed to medicine anymore and just go abroad, since it’s
easier to go abroad if you’re a nurse. I just hope one day, I will find a greater
reason on why I chose nursing than just wanting to go abroad and I hope I will
enjoy this program and not just try to finish it.