TOXIC MASCULINITY

Masculinity is a set of socially constructed attributes

associated to men and boys. Men are usually expected to be
courageous, strong, risk takers and self-dependent. These are
some qualities that every person (irrespective of their
gender) wishes to inhibit in them. So how did masculinity
become toxic?
Masculinity was not only considered an attribute but a
necessity for men. If males believe they are not meeting
these exaggerated traits or not aligning with these narrow
views, they may feel they are less manly. Even in the 20th
century men are expected to suppress their emotions, be
aggressive. Any man who does not exhibit such qualities is
considered to be weak and is often seen as less masculine by
his peers. Masculinity has many disadvantages which do not
only affect women and children but men themselves. It is
often believed that men should not only avoid violence but
actively participate in it to exert their power over the weak or
to gain control over the situation. However such behavior has
resulted in normalizing domestic violence because of which
both the partners are likely to experience isolation, poor
mental health and unhappiness.
Question arises where does this sexist behavior comes from.
Are men taught to behave like this? Often in schools or
homes phrases like “man up” i.e. not crying, not expressing
your emotions in front of others or “boys will be boys” which
justifies the toxic behavior of boys and assure them that it is
fine to behave like this, are used.  Adolescent boys who
cannot healthily express their emotions are more likely to
participate in bullying, physical assault, and verbally
aggressive behavior. Due to stigma and societal pressures,
males are less likely to seek help for mental health issues.
Men experiencing mental health issues might not seek out
professional care or even talk about their struggles with
friends or family. Unhealthy or toxic masculinity may not
allow males to fully express themselves and their emotional
needs because people may view it as a sign of weakness or
vulnerability.
Men who view themselves as more masculine are less likely
to engage in what researchers call “helping behavior.” That
means they are not likely to intervene when they witness
bullying or when they see someone being assaulted.
Media is undoubtedly linked with toxic masculinity. In today’s
society much of the society contains violence or role models
displaying aggression. From rap songs to movies there are
role models that are indirectly promoting hostile behaviors
and attitudes.
“The crisis facing our boys today is not masculinity, rather it is
toxic patriarchal hyper-masculinity. In many ways, our boys
are constantly clashing within themselves between who they
really are and who they are expected to be. The stress of
guarding and protecting a false self creates a deep wound in
the male psyche.”
(Melia Keeton Digby)

Even the World Health Organization (WHO) has recognized

that men's tendency to die at younger ages may correlate to
the harmful ways that masculinity has been defined in
society and the ways that men have been conditioned to
practice it.
Some are seeking therapy. Others have enrolled in
workshops and men’s groups in an effort to get in touch with
their feelings and become better men.
Or the hundreds of texts and anecdotes of so-
called softbois collected on
the @beam_me_up_softboi Instagram account — men who
express their feelings the way avalanches share snow,
When men and women are accused of similar
crimes, men are more likely to receive longer
sentences than women, with women being twice
as likely to avoid incarceration upon conviction
For men, vulnerability is often neglected,
dismissed, or combated. When men push down
emotions, ignore feelings, or dismiss their
feminine traits, their mental health will suffer.
As of 2018, significantly more men than women died from an opioid overdose. 5

Men are far more likely to die by suicide than

women. 
“We need to teach young men from an early age
that it’s good to express emotions,” says Exilus.
In both our education system and at home, we
need to help boys and men label their feelings
and understand them. By approaching this in a
non-judgmental, curious way, we can eliminate
the fears surrounding therapy and mental health.
“We need men to be role models for the new
generation. It all starts with teaching boys to not
be men, but to be humans,” says Blake. “This
should not be a gender issue. Once we make this
a human issue, toxic masculinity will fade.”