The pie chart depicts the amount of dollars spent and received by

a children's charity in the United States in 2016

Revenue sources is higher than spending expenditure 336684

dollars. Donate food are the highest proportion of revenue sources, while
program services receive the biggest number of expenditure.

The revenue source is generated by 6 components (donated food,

community contributions, program revenue, investment income,
government grants, other income). The ingredient that accounted for the
largest amount was donated food up to 86.6 percent, more than eight
times more than social donations (10.4 percent). Meanwhile, program
sources account for 2.2 percent. The total remaining components account
for a very small fraction - less than three percent : Investment income and
government grants account for the same total ( 0.2 percent ) , other
income just have 0.4 percent.

In the meantime, expenditures are composed of program services,

fundraising, Management and General. Program services accounted for
the largest total - 95.8 percent. The remaining two components represents
2.6 and 1.6 percent, respectively.

Peer’s comment:
-Donate food are the highest proportion of revenue sources, while
program services receive the biggest number of expenditure.
-> nên paraphrase lại câu này
-accounted for -> lặp lại quá nhiều
- đủ số từ yêu cầu

Version 2:
The pie chart depicts the amount of dollars spent and received by
a children's charity in the United States in 2016

Revenue sources is higher than spending expenditure 336684

dollars. Donated food makes up the largest proportion of revenue sources,
while program services account for the greatest proportion of
expenditure.
 The revenue source is generated by 6 components (donated
food, community contributions, program revenue, investment income,
government grants, other income). The ingredient that make up the
largest amount was donated food up to 86.6 percent, more than eight
times more than social donations (10.4 percent). Meanwhile, program
sources represents 2.2 percent. The total remaining components just have
a very small fraction - less than three percent : Investment income and
government grants accounts for the same total ( 0.2 percent ) , other
income just have 0.4 percent.

In the meantime, expenditures are composed of program services,

fundraising, Management and General. Program services are the largest
total - 95.8 percent. The remaining two components represents 2.6 and
1.6 percent, respectively.