REVIEWER IN UTS
nonsexual affection.
SEXUAL SELF
SEXUAL SELFHOOD-It is defined as how one
thinks about himself or herself as a sexual individual.
In Ancient Greece, it is the male that assumes the
dominant role.Their wives were considered as
objects to be possessed just like property.  Date to marry.
Women, on the other hand, were forbidden to own
property and had no legal and only function was to
bear children. The Greek word for woman is “gyne”
means – bearer of children.  sharing.
Sigmund Freud was one of the most prominent
people to explain sexuality, through his theories.
According to him, human beings are faces with two
forces – sex instinct and libido (pleasure) and death
or aggressive instinct (harm toward oneself or
towards others).
According to anthropologist Helen Fisher (2016)
there are three stages of falling in love. These
stages are lust, attraction, and love.
LUST-Lust is driven by the desire for sexual
gratification.
ATTRACTION-in this stage, a person may begin to be
obsessed about their object of affection and crave
for his presence.
ATTACHMENT-This stage involves wanting to make a
more lasting commitment to your loved one. You
want to cuddle and be close and share your deepest
secrets with her. You plan and dream together.
STYLES OF LOVE
EROS-usually experiences love at first sight, they
tend to be quick to fall in and out of love. 
AGAPE-This is altruistic and selfless love. The person
shows his love without expecting to receive the
same in return.
STORGE-This is love-related friendship and based on
MANIA- characterized by an intense feeling which
may lead to obsessive and possessive love towards
the loved one.Manic lovers always check the
partner’s whereabouts.
LUDUS-For ludic lovers, love is just a game,
something for fun or entertainment.
PRAGMA-This is a practical and business-like love.
TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE
BY ROBERT STERNBERG
INTIMACY-This includes the desire to give and
receive emotional closeness, support, caring and
PASSION-This is the hot component of love which
can be described as intensely romantic or sexual
desire for another person usually accompanied by
physical attraction and physiological arousal.
COMMITMENT-This is the cold component of love. It
is the decision to maintain the relationship through
good times and bad times. 
LIKING (INTIMACY)-This only involves emotional
intimacy and has no passionate intention for long-
term commitment. It is just a friendly relationship.
INFATUATION (PASSION)- This is associated with a
high degree of physiological arousal. There is only
passion without intimacy or commitment. It is
usually called “love at first sight” and may fade
quickly.
EMPTY LOVE (COMMITMENT)- This involves only
commitment. A relationship. With no intimacy and
passion. Couples only stay together for their children
or other important reasons. 
ROMANTIC LOVE-It is a combination of both passion
and intimacy which may be present during the first
phase of a relationship.
COMPANIONATE LOVE-The components are both
intimacy and commitment which is experienced in
long deeply committed friendship or marriage where
passion has faded. It is more durable than romantic
love and may grow over time.
FATUOUS LOVE-A combination of passion and
commitment experienced by a couple who spent a
short time in courtship and suddenly decided to get
married.
CONSUMMATE LOVE-There exists a healthy balance
of passion, intimacy, and commitment shared by
couples considered to be ideal for each other.
psychological theories that would explain why
people fall in love:

BEHAVIORAL REINFORCEMENT THEORY- When
someone received a reward such as free ride or
other favors from another, a positive feeling may be
experienced.
PHYSIOLOGICAL AROUSAL THEORY- explains the
most acceptable theories about emotions: the
bodies experience a physiological change first, then
people assign an emotion to that physical sensation
EVOLUTIONARY THEORIES-This explains that love
arose due to some sociobiological need.
The Psychology of Love
-Physical attractiveness (though beauty is in the eye
of the beholder)
-Reciprocity (people tend to like an individual who
also like them)
-Proximity (being around anytime physically or
virtually)
-Similarities (same age, religion, education, race,
physical attractiveness, intelligence, and socio-
economic class)
MATERIAL SELF
Is our concept of self as reflected in a total of all the
tangible things you own.
Identities can be reflected on the possessions that
people have.
People are likely to purchase products that can
relate to their personality. Material possessions
signify some aspects of one’s sense of self and
identity.
The decisions that go into the purchase of items and
certain services is dependent on a number of
factors:
>financial constraints
>availability of items and services
>influence of family and friends
WANTS
Synonymous with luxuries. People buy them for
reasons that do not warrant necessity.
NEEDS
These are important for survival. Food, clothing, and
shelter are basic needs so people purchase them out
of necessity.  CONTROLLING NATURE- if your partner tries to
UTILITY-Concerned with how things serve a practical
purpose.
SIGNIFICANCE-Concerned with the meaning
assigned to the object.
-powerful symbols or icons
Roland Barthes (1915 – 1980) the French theorist,
was one of the first to observe the relationship that
people have with objects.
In the 1950s, he popularized the field of Semiology
(the study of objects as signs). A sign is anything that
conveys meaning.
According to him, a sign has two elements:
Signifier-  refers to its physical form
Signified- mental concepts
Semiotic analysis- objects function as signifiers in
the production of meaning
RED FLAGS- danger, STOP, severe
YELLOW FLAGS- warning
DIFFERENT RED FLAGS
ALCOHOLISM & DRUG ADDICTION – If your partner
relies on substances to get through the day, week, or
a tough situation, then that’s indicative of addiction
and signifies they haven’t figured out how to cope
without altering their mental state.
VIOLENT DISPLAYS- someone who demonstrates
cruelty toward you, loved ones, strangers, and even
animals is a serious red flag.
MISMATCHED RELATIONSHIP GOALS- this includes
the inconsistencies where you want to live, whether
you want to have children, and how you plan to
tackle finances.
PERSISTENT JEALOUSY & DISTRUST- a very insecure
partner looks like attentiveness at the start of a
relationship, but there’s an underlying control
problem beneath all the attention.
HISTORY OF INFIDELITY- even if your partner has
demonstrated change you must ask yourself if you
feel comfortable pursuing the relationship, knowing
they have a history of cheating.
manage who you see, who you talk to, where you
go, how you spend your money, what you do online ,
what your body looks like, what you eat, or even
what you wear.
STORY OF CRAZY EXES- this sort of perspective
deflects any responsibility and demonstrates a lack
of respect for the people they once cared for and Taking Charge of One’s Health
loves.
Self-Compassion-Self-compassion is defined as
NO FRIENDS- if your partner struggles to make and showing compassion to oneself. It involves being
maintain relationships, then that could indicate you open to and moved by one’s own suffering,
will also struggle to connect with them. expressing care and kindness towards oneself, taking
an understanding and nonjudgmental attitude
THEY GIVE YOU ALL THEIR TIME- if someone relies on
toward one’s inadequacies and failures, and
you entirely and always for their sense of happiness
recognizing that one’s experience is part of the
and entertainment, that can lead to feelings of
common human experience.
suffocation, resentment and unhappiness.

LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY- when a partner

shows no interest in opening up and bonding.
GASLIGHTING- when a person says and/or does
things to make you question your own sanity.
LOVE BOMBING- manipulatively showering someone
with praise and affection to gain (or regain) trust
quickly.
BREADCRUMBING- leading you on with little morsels
of encouragement just enough so you don’t give up
on the relationship.
Self-Kindness- Self-kindness means not being
physically and verbally harsh to oneself. It involves
and act where one blames himself or herself for his
or her actions or decisions. Self-beration is a kind of
verbal abuse directed to oneself. Usually this is done
by stating unkind words to oneself. Self-harm, on the
other hand is the act of harming oneself through
physical means which is both physically or
psychologically damaging to an individual.

LOVE HORMONE - OXYTOCIN