The Family

Getting married was associated with several life events:

• Leaving one’s parents • Creating one’s own home • Achieving economic independence •
Initiating regular sexual activity • having children
These trends in today’s world are changing. There are now more women who choose to live
without a husband. People now tend to marry late. People now enter into cohabitation before
marrying more as due to its growing acceptance. More children being born out of a wedlock.
Young children becoming increasingly sexually active. Rise in gay marriages. Easy divorce. Rising
numbers of working and single mothers. Therefore, the institute of family and marriage do not
hold the same meanings once they used to have.
Some argue that previous family structures were flawed and outdated. They were male-
dominated and oppressive. While others contend that easy divorce, gay marriages, and
contraceptives have eroded the significant and primary functions of a family in a society, such
as reproduction and socialization of children.

Structure of the Family

The definition of family has varied with time. It conventionally used to revolve around the
notion that family consists of married father (breadwinner) and mother (homemaker) and their
kids. However, with time the structure of family changed as numbers of single-parent
households, step-parent households, same-sex households, childless households, unmarried
cohabitating male and female households etc. Some societies gives the kin groups a more
primary position in the family than the parents and children. Therefore, the definition of family
has also become diverse or more inclusive with the diversification of structures of family.
Sociologists have traditionally viewed the family as a social group whose members are
related by ancestry, marriage, or adoption and live together, cooperate economically, and
care for the young.
The family, then, is a matter of social definition. Because the family is a social construct, family
ties are often independent of legal or kin status.
In 2010 President Obama mandated that hospitals allow patients to designate visitors and to
choose who will make end-of-life decisions for them, regardless of traditional family ties.
Forms of Family
Families are organized in many ways. Individuals differ in their thoughts about whether parents
should be married, how many children make a perfect family, whether male or female offspring
are preferable, and even whether having children at all is important.
More fundamentally, families vary in their composition and in their descent, residence, and
authority patterns—characteristics we examine here

Composition
In the nuclear family arrangement, spouses and their offspring constitute the core relationship;
blood relatives are functionally marginal and peripheral.
In contrast, in the extended family arrangement, kin—individuals related by common ancestry
—provide the core relationship; spouses are functionally marginal and peripheral.
A family, especially in an American society, may belong to two families. First, an individual
belongs to a nuclear family that consists of oneself and one’s father, mother, and siblings, what
sociologists call the family of orientation. Members of a nuclear family that consists of oneself
and one’s spouse and children—the family of procreation.
A family of orientation refers to the family into which a person is born. A family of procreation
describes one that is formed through marriage.
It is argued that industrialization cut the extended ties with kin and promoted the nuclear
families as people had to move out of the extended family and migrate from rural to urban
areas. There was increased mobility and employment opportunities so the married couple had
less dependence on the extended kin for finances.

Descent
Societies trace descent and pass on property from one generation to the next in one of three
ways. Under a patrilineal arrangement, a people reckon descent and transmit property
through the line of the father.
Under a matrilineal arrangement, descent and inheritance take place through the mother’s
side of the family.
Under the bilineal arrangement, both sides of an individual’s family are equally important.
Surnames are generally transmitted in a patrilineal manner; even though after marriage women
may not take their husbands name but the children are recognized as patrilineal.
Residence
Societies also differ in where couples take up residence after marriage.
In the case of patrilocal residence, the bride and groom live in the household or community of
the husband’s family
The opposite pattern prevails in matrilocal residence. For example, among the Hopi of the
Southwest, the husband moves upon marriage into the dwelling of his wife’s family, where he
eats and sleeps
In the United States, newlyweds tend to follow nonlocals residence patterns, in which they set
up a new place of residence independent of either of their parents or other relatives.

Authority
Although the authority a man or woman enjoys in family decision making is influenced by their
personalities, societies nonetheless dictate who is expected to be the dominant figure. Under
patriarchal authority, the eldest male or the husband fills this role.
The construction of a matriarchal authority family involves the vesting of power in women.
Matriarchies are very rare. However, matriarchies can arise through default upon the death of
or desertion by the husband.
In a third type of family, the egalitarian authority arrangement, power and authority are
equally distributed between husband and wife.

Forms of Marriage
Marriage refers to a socially approved sexual union between two or more individuals that is
undertaken with some idea of permanence.
Indeed, the continuity, and therefore the long-term welfare, of any kin group depends on
obtaining spouses for the unmarried members of the group from other groups. A kin group has
a stake in retaining some measure of control over at least a portion of its members after they
marry.
All societies regulate the pool of eligibles from which individuals are expected to select a mate.
A child’s kin generally have more in mind than simply getting the child married. They want the
child married to the right spouse, especially where marriage has consequences for the larger
kin group.
Two types of marital regulations define the “right” spouse: endogamy and exogamy.
Endogamy is the requirement that marriage occur within a group. Under these circumstances
people must marry within their class, race, ethnic group, or religion. (Shia, Sunni, syed etc in
Pakistan but we can now see a change).
Exogamy is the requirement that marriage occur outside a group.
Whether or not marriages should take place outside of specific groups can change rapidly, as in
Iraq, where Sunni–Shiite marriages went from symbolizing a tolerant society to being the
source of conflict, hatred, and family breakdown.
Regulations relating to exogamy are based primarily on kinship and usually entail incest taboos,
rules that prohibit sexual intercourse with close blood relatives and exist today in virtually every
society.
There have been numerous attempts to account for both the existence and the prevalence of
incest taboos. Some have argued that incest taboos came about because of real or imagined
negative effects of “inbreeding.” However, in roman times the incest marriages were prevailent
and legalized but there were such taboos that it is an evil act and will bring famine. Brother-
sister marriages were conducted to protect the family’s inheritance, power, and property.

Types of Marriages
The relationships between a husband and wife may be structured in one of four ways:
Monogamy, one husband and one wife; polygyny, one husband and two or more wives;
Polyandry, two or more husbands and one wife; or group marriage, two or more husbands and
two or more wives.
Monogamy is the most popular type of marriage in all societies. However, other types may also
exist but not preferred.
Polygyny is practiced widely in Muslim countries.
Polyandry is practiced in Tibet.

In contrast to polygyny, polyandry is exceedingly rare. Polyandry usually does not represent
freedom of sexual choice for women; often, it involves the right or the opportunity of younger
brothers to have sexual access to the wife of an older brother. If a family cannot afford wives or
marriages for each of its sons, it may find a wife for the eldest son only.
Patterns of Courtship
Marriage brings a new member into the inner circle of a family, and relatives have a stake in
who is to be the spouse. Random mating might jeopardize these interests: If sons and
daughters were permitted to “fall in love” with anybody, they might choose the wrong mate.
Therefore, societies control love via social regulations. Some societies consider love affair in
high regards and some disapprove it before marriage.
Societies undertake to control love in a variety of ways. One approach is child marriage, which
was employed at one time in India. A child bride went to live with her husband in a marriage
that was not physically consummated until much later.
Similarly, in an arranged marriage the parents of the bride and groom make the arrangements
for the marriage, sometimes when both are too young to marry but also when both are of
marriageable ages. The parents of the bride may know of the groom through friends or
relatives or may simply answer a newspaper advertisement.
Another approach involves the social isolation of young people from potential mates (only girls
and boy institutions).
Close supervision by the chaperones.
Peer and parental pressures may be brought to bear. For example, in the United States parents
often threaten, cajole, wheedle, and bribe their children to limit their social contacts to youths
with “suitable” ethnic, religious, and educational backgrounds.
The net result of these approaches is the same—a person’s range of choice is narrowed by
social barriers.

Factors in Mate Selection

Given a field of eligible mates, why do we fall in love with and marry one person and not
another? A variety of factors are at work.
One is homogamy —the tendency of like to marry like. People of similar age, race, religion,
nationality, education, intelligence, health, stature, attitudes, and countless other traits tend to
marry one another to a degree greater than would be found by chance.
Physical attractiveness also plays a part in mate selection. We prefer the companionship and
friendship of attractive people to that of unattractive people. However, since the supply of
unusually beautiful or handsome partners is limited, we tend in real life to select partners who
have a degree of physical attractiveness similar to our own. According to the matching
hypothesis, we typically experience the greatest payoff and the least cost when we follow this
course; individuals of equal attractiveness are those most likely to reciprocate our advances.
The complementary needs theory refers to two different personality traits that are the
counterparts of each other and that provide a sense of completeness when they are joined.
Dominant people find a complementary relationship with passive people, and talkative people
find themselves attracted to good listeners.
Exchange theory links these three factors. It is based on the notion that we like those who
reward us and dislike those who punish us.
Many of our acts derive from our confidence that from them will flow some benefit—perhaps a
desired expression of love, gratitude, recognition, security, or material reward. In the course of
interacting, we reinforce the relationship by rewarding each other. Thus, people with similar
social traits, attitudes, and values mutually reward one another. In selecting partners of
comparable physical attractiveness, we minimize the risk of rejection while maximizing the
profit from such a conquest. And the parties in complementary relationships offer each other
high rewards at low cost to themselves. In sum, exchange theory proposes that people involved
in a mutually satisfying relationship will exchange behaviors that have low cost and high
reward.

Parenthood
Parenthood: married couples that chose to have children find their lives transformed by
parenthood as it takes an economic, physical, emotional and social toll on the couple
Nuclear families that are not disrupted by divorce, desertion, or death typically pass through a
series of changes and realignments across time, what sociologists call the family life course.
A family typically begins with the husband–wife pair—a dyad—and becomes a triad with the
addition of the first child. As the family grows, new roles are created and the number of
relationships is multiplied. The family then stabilizes for a time, after which it begins shrinking
as each of the adult children is launched. Finally, it returns once more to the husband– wife pair
and eventually terminates with the death of a spouse.
Having children, therefore, alters the life course as economic dimensions also change.
The arrival of the first child compels the reorganization of a couple’s life. Parents have to juggle
their work roles, alter their time schedules, change their communication patterns, and
relinquish some privacy. Parenthood competes with the husband or wife role. After the birth
of a first child, husbands and wives who could once focus unlimited attention on their spouses
now have to split their attention between spouse and child. The result is that young parents
may feel that their spouses are not paying enough attention to them.
Despite the changes a child brings to their lives, most couples report enormous satisfaction
with parenthood, ranking their families as more important than work, recreation, friendships,
or status.
Dual-income couples evolve new patterns and traditions for family living and face challenges
and opportunities not experienced by families with only one breadwinner.
The experience of working outside the household on women varies from place to place and
person to person.
Women who work outside the home still spend significantly more time on housework than do
men.
Husbands helping with housework and husbands having a positive attitude about their spouse’s
employment both reduce the psychological distress of working women.
With increasing numbers of mothers in the labor force, two trends have emerged. One is the
expansion of nonparent child care, with children being cared for by grandparents or other
relatives, babysitters, nannies, family day care, and child care centers. Many public schools now
provide before- and after school programs and breakfasts and dinners in addition to the school
lunch.
The effect of working mothers on children is varied as its dependent on individual personalities
and social environment. For some, it does not affect negatively as mothers tend to focus on
spending on quality time with children rather than just being with them all the time. For some
children, it may have affected them negatively as mother may have neglected them or did not
give them proper attention and care.
Whether both partners are paid for their work and not, marriage should be viewed as a “true
partnership,” not a shifting balance of domination and subordination.

Beyond the Traditional Nuclear Family

Family relationships are becoming more varied.

Increasing numbers of children grow up with several sets of parents and an assortment of half-
brothers and half-sisters and stepbrothers and stepsisters, or with unmarried parents.
Americans now may have any of a number of lifestyles —the overall patterns of living people
evolve to meet their biological, social, and emotional needs.
There are now a number of lifestyle options: step families, singlehood, single parenthood,
unmarried cohabitation, and gay and lesbian couples
Remarriage frequently results in stepfamilies, also termed “reconstituted” and “blended”
families. Family tree gets very complexed. Before, having step families or children were
considered as a source of marital unhappiness and distress. But now, it is found out that
children do as worse and good living in a step family as would do when they were living with
their both natural parents.
The high incidence of divorce, the ability of the elderly to maintain their own homes alone, and
the deferral of marriage among young adults have contributed to the high rate of increase in
the number of non-family households: Singlehood. Some associate singlehood with loneliness
and failure. However, singlehood for some is the source of independence, financially and
emotionally, and they tend to have a better mental health than their married counterparts.
More liberal sex standards, the high divorce rate, money woes, and the pursuit of education
and careers have spurred young adults to marry later than at any time. So unmarried can be
nearly as happy as the married ones.
There are also many households that are single parent households. It may be due to death,
divorce, surrogacy, or adoption. It is children living with one parent.
Some studies show that juvenile delinquency is twice as likely to occur in a single-parent home
as in a two-parent home. Children of single parents are also more likely to drop out of school,
be unemployed when they reach adulthood, have out-of-wedlock children, become sexually
active at an earlier age, and cohabit. Lack of parental supervision and persistent social and
psychological strains are usually complicated by the problems of poverty.
Marriage is differentiated from other types of intimate relationships by its institutionalized
status. The number of unmarried adults who share living quarters with an unrelated adult of
the opposite sex—a type of intimate relationship termed cohabitation —has increased in
recent decades.

While some couples say that they are planning to live together before marriage to see what
living together is like, studies show that more couples end up living together without making
any real decision to do so or any serious commitment to one another. This “sliding into
cohabitation” has been shown to be associated with lower levels of marital satisfaction, lower
levels of male commitment to the spouse, greater likelihood of divorce, and more negative
communication in marriage.
Until recently, cohabitation was the only option for homosexual “family life” in the United
States. Now same-sex marriages are being more accepted and legalized in many states such as
US, UK, Australia. People now tend to recognize more the civil liberties of homosexuals and
homosexual households or their marriages. There is a significant religious dimension to much of
the opposition to same-sex marriage. (In Muslim states and orthodox Christians)

Challenges for Family and Society

Some family problems stay in the family; others spill over into society. For example, family
violence, child abuse, and incest produce scarred members of society, many of whom go on to
have families of their own in which the same terrible acts are repeated. In our society, people
express considerable support for family values. However, the availability and quality of child
and elder care, the protection of children from abuse and neglect, and other issues suggests
that people are less willing to support policies that would ensure the viability of the family.
Although both men and women engage in violence, men typically do more damage than their
female partners and many more women than men report victimization.
Child abuse goes far beyond unnecessary spanking; abuse cases may involve burning, scalding,
beating, and smothering. Neglect has been shown to cause severe short- and long-term harm,
including many mental and physical health problems, juvenile delinquency, and adult
criminality, and abuse also has long-term effects, including increased risk of suicide in
adulthood.
The status of incest as a taboo has not kept it from taking place but merely from being talked
about.
The perpetrator in sexual abuse is commonly the father, uncle, or other male authority figure in
the household, “family tyrants” who employ physical force and intimidation to control their
families.
The victims of molestation are usually shamed or terrified into treating the experience as a
dirty secret. The sexual abuse of children often leads to behavior problems, learning difficulties,
sexual promiscuity, runaway behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, gastrointestinal and
genitourinary complaints, compulsive rituals, clinical depression, low self-esteem, and suicidal
behavior. Victimized women tend to show lifetime patterns of psychological shame and
stigmatization.
Violence against women during covid-19 pandemic.
The problems of family violence, child abuse, and incest have emerged as major public issues.
The quality and availability of child care resources play an essential role in the rearing children
and protecting them from child abuse and violence or incest. Such as daycare centers, pre-
school nurseries, or grandparents looking after them. Such programs are characterized by small
group size, high staff– child ratios, well-trained staffs, good equipment, and attractive and
nurturing environments. (However, it can be financially draining too). People stress that policies
need to be made to grant parents parental leaves, stipends, aid, or provide day care center
facilities at work.
Researchers find that children of divorced or single parents have higher levels of anxiety,
depression, stress, aggression, and school problems and are more likely to drop out of school
and become parents themselves at a young age.
Financial problems complicate the difficulties of both women and men. Only half of divorced
mothers receive any money at all from their children’s fathers, and this is seldom much. Most
men also experience an economic decline.
The notion that divorce has adverse consequences for children influences many couples to
remain unhappily married until their youngsters reach adulthood. However, some evidence
suggests that staying together for the sake of the children is not necessarily helpful if the
marriage is marred by conflict, tension, and discord. Many of the emotional, behavioral, and
academic problems children exhibit after their parents’ divorce are apparent before the time of
the actual breakup of the family. Marital discord has a negative effect on children’s emotional
bonds with both parents.
People may die early due to cardiovascular diseases or depression due to divorce or
stigmatization.
Children of divorced parents tend to marry early, have depression, involve in crimes and drugs
due to lack of parental supervision form both the parents.
As life expectancy increases and the birth rate decreases, the proportion of elderly people also
has increased. Seniors aren’t always safe at home; elder abuse and neglect can be family
problems and may include financial exploitation in addition to physical and psychological
neglect and abuse. They may become an emotional and financial burden for the younger
members of the family.
Care for the elderly falls most often on daughters and daughters-in-law. These women have
historically functioned as our society’s “kin-keepers.”
Social Security payments to older people relieve their middle-aged children of the economic
burden of supporting their parents. But they also help the elderly support their children . . .
Such multigenerational win–win opportunities exist in many areas, including education, training
and job flexibility, retirement, welfare, and health.
Sociological Perspectives on Family

The Functionalist Perspective

If a society is to perpetuate itself, new members have to be created; families perform that
function by providing social and cultural supports and motivations for having children.
The family functions as an intermediary in the socialization process between the larger
community and the individual.
Through the process of socialization, children become inducted into their society’s ways, and
the family usually serves as the chief culture-transmitting agency.
Human children must be fed, clothed, and provided with shelter well into puberty. Throughout
the world, the family has been assigned the responsibility for shielding, protecting, sustaining,
and otherwise maintaining not just children, but also the infirm and other dependent members
of the community. The family also provides an important source for entering into intimate,
constant, face-to-face contact with other people. Healthy family relationships afford
companionship, love, security, a sense of worth, and a general feeling of well-being.
Family also gives the children their ascribed status. Orient a person to a variety of interpersonal
relationships, including those involving parents, siblings, and other kin, and orient a person to
basic group memberships, including racial, ethnic, religious, class, national, and community
relationships.
A society’s norms regulate sexual behavior by specifying who may engage in sexual behavior
with whom and under what circumstance. Norm of legitimacy (no child should be born out of
a wedlock.)
Critics of the functionalist perspective point out that these tasks can be performed in other
ways. Indeed, by virtue of social change, many of the economic, child care, and educational
functions once performed by the family have been taken over by other institutions. Even so, the
family tends to be the social unit most commonly responsible for reproduction, socialization,
and the other functions we considered.
Talcott Parsons and the functions of the family:
According to the American functionalist sociologist Talcott Parsons, the family's two main
functions are: 1. Primary Socialization: the process by which children learn the cultural norms
of the society into which they are born.
2. Personality Stabilization : refers to the role that the family plays in assisting adult family
members emotionally Parsons regarded the nuclear family as the unit best equipped to handle
the demands of industrial society as in the 'conventional family' , one adult can work outside
the home, while the second adult cares for the home and children.
In practical terms, this specialization of roles within the nuclear family involved the husband
adopting the 'instrumental' role as breadwinner, and the wife assuming the ' affective',
emotional role in domestic settings.

The Conflict Perspective

Many conflict theorists, in contrast, have seen the family as a social arrangement benefitting
some people more than others.
The family is viewed as a class society in miniature, with one class (men) oppressing another
class (women).Marriage was the first form of class antagonism in which the well-being of one
group derived from the misery and repression of another. The motivation for sexual domination
was the economic exploitation of a woman’s labor.
Sociologist Randall Collins has said that historically men have been the “sexual aggressors”
and women the “sexual prizes for men.” Women have been victimized by their smaller size
and vulnerability as child bearers. Across an entire spectrum of societies women have been
seen as sexual property, taken as booty in war, used by their fathers in economic bargaining,
and considered as owned by their husbands.
According to Collins, marriage is a socially enforced contract of sexual property.
A woman’s virginity was seen as the property of her father, and her sexuality as the property of
her husband. Thus, rape has often traditionally been seen less as a crime perpetrated by a
man against a woman than as a crime perpetrated by one man against another man.

The Interactionist Perspective

Symbolic interactionists emphasize that human beings create, use, and communicate with
symbols. One way in which families reinforce and rejuvenate their bonds is through the
symbolic mechanism of rituals. Social scientists find that household rituals such as gathering
for meals are a hidden source of family strength. It seems that when families preserve their
rituals, their children fare better emotionally, even when the family faces other disruptive
problems (e.g., alcoholism).
The symbolic interactionist perspective is a useful tool for examining the complexities of a
relationship. When the roles of one family member change, there are consequences for other
family members. For example, we have seen that parenthood alters the husband–wife
relationship by creating new roles and increasing the complexity of the family unit. Likewise,
family life is different in homes where a mother is in the paid labor force or where an economic
provider is unemployed. And the loss of critical family roles caused by divorce has vast
implications for family functioning.