CHEMISTRY JOKES

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it
down?

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other,
"Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive!"

What happens when electrons lose their energy?

They get Bohr'ed. What are?

What is Ba(Na)2?
Banana

From way down in my cranium

This prediction I will make:
That if you eat uranium,
You'll get atomic ache.

Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.

One said: "Why do you look so sad?"
The other responded: "I lost an electron."
Concerned, One asked "Are you sure?"
The other replied "I'm positive.

Q. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A. One molar solution.

Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

A: It was polar.

My brother was a chemist,

He isn't anymore,
For what he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4.

Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?

A: Because it's basic stuff.

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?

A: They have all the solutions.

Q: What did one titration say to the other?

A: Let's meet at the endpoint!