THE BETTER HALF

DeltaindiadeltasierraSelarom

(1) I was quite jittery when I saw a number of people in the ingress of the hall, and just found
myself as one of them.

(2) There he was. Ver extended his left arm as if to offer a hug or a handshake. I didn’t know what
to say I just spoke what other people had been telling him. Ver hugged me half … after almost
five years of not seeing each other, he just offered a half and what about the other.

(3) “Will it be bestowed later?", l Just thought.

(4) Ver told me where to proceed, and I did. While I was going to the reception area, I saw
familiar faces as they approached Ver who was grateful with their presence and presents. I got
my plate, and I lined up to the gourmet station. I never lost the sight of him every time he
went near me.

(5) I knew that he felt somehow that I quite disapproved of the other halt... after two weeks of
foresighting what would transpire in this affair… and five long years… that was last time we
talked… it was over the phone; we argued about serious things, about us, that both of us took
it seriously.

(6) “If ever we could, it won't work out either,” Ver spoke firmly.

(7) I just sighed deeply. He was perfectly right, and I agreed to it.

(8) That statement still echoed at the back of my mind. The truth was I lost my self-esteem… I
remained taciturn about the truth. I had been deluded by passion. I hadn’t been able to
complete myself... neither had been able to fill in the gap. I tried, but I never won the race.
The race was so stiff; I could not even try to win though I knew I had the edge for the bacon.

(9) "Have I really tried?", l asked myself rhetorically.

(10) The damnedest of all was I had let him win within. I damned myself... who else would?

(11) I had never eaten a food on my plate yet though I was craving tor it. I liked the main course; it
was Italian. I just drunk a cup of coffee this morning, and I had never taken up something after
five hours of battling the congested traffic inside the Metropolitan.

(12) My focus now was to eat up the idea of negating the truth, which had consumed me for years.
Yes, I had never stopped... Ver knew that... Maybe I was just thinking that I had gormandized
by the thought of walking out from this holy ground, but I refused the idea while Ver was
treading towards my way.

(13) Ver asked for a cigarette intensely to mar his tensed moment, and I likewise got mine, too.

(14) "I have not smoked once the investiture began"; Ver spoke while catching his breath.

(15) The hall started to become empty except for the waiters who had been preoccupied as they
were still accommodating the last three tables occupied by few visitors who were still chatting
about the day's end.

(16) Ver asked me why I came late that I was not able to witness the ceremony.

(17) "You should have been here earlier to hear what I have professed before him and Him".
(18) But I never spoke a word, and he continued... "That I have chosen to leave the world and and
live a contemplative life.

(19) I just sighed with a bit of agreement. Much to his surprise, Ver noticed that I had never taken a
food on my plate.

(20) "You didn't like the food they served, did you?", he uttered intently.

(21) I got the fork and started to eat less as he expected.

(22) He mumbled, "Just eat at least half of it.”

(23) I got the spoon and started to eat more. I stared at him... maybe tor the last time... and we
muted for a short moment.

(24) I stood up from my chair and breathed heavily as I hung the strap of what I my bag on my right
shoulder gesturing to set off the place.

(25) He rose and enfolded his arms as if to offer not the half of what I had received earlier but
whole of it as a mark of indirect appreciation of my existence. I withdrew his nearness and
spoke without discontinuance beholding the plate with halt-leftover food.

(26) And I declared discretely, "The half of what I have eaten from this plate was far better than
half of what have received from you and of the whole of what you are bidding for.”

(27) I set off towards the egress as I heard him calling my name a number of times fading its
sounds with unholy ambiance of the ground as I was shaking the dust of inane perfection.

(28) And I pronounced firmly with incontestable affirmation to myself, "Now I could finish my
endings with you, and I have to start my beginnings tor myself.”