Lee, N April 23, 2021

Are long distance relationships feasible?

As the world gets increasingly mobile and connected, people can meet anyone across the
world. Due to the fact that there is a pandemic in many countries, the quarantine is making
people stay at home most of the time. Online dating is getting more popular among teens and
adults nowadays. This online dating would eventually lead to long distance relationships since it
is the only way the two parties can sustain what they have even if they don’t meet much in real
life. Of course, there will be people who would say that long-term long distance relationships are
not likely to work out. Admittedly, there will certainly be several long distance relationships that
won’t work due to outside influence, but as long as the two parties really do love each other and
want to make it work, long distance relationships are definitely feasible. Long distance
relationships would work out in the long run as long as the two parties trust and are transparent
with one another, they contact each other frequently and do mundane and everyday things
together and also meet face-to-face a few times a year, and that they can accept each other’s
limitations and imperfections when they start living with each other.

The two parties have to be transparent with one another and be able to trust each other
so that the relationship would be smoother. When the couple is transparent with one another
and trusts each other, there are less chances of jealousy and feeling shut out in the other
person’s life. If both parties really show each other all parts of their life, this would create a
deeper relationship between the couple. Since the couple know each other’s secrets and faults
and assuming they are still in the relationship, it shows that both parties are willing to adjust to
each other’s limitations. It is also a way to get to know more about the spouse because in a long
distance relationship, a person can only know so much about each other. It is because in an
online setup, a person can put his/her best foot forward. And when a person is in an online
relationship, more often than not, he/she would most likely try to show them the best parts of
themselves. This is why showing the ugly parts of one’s self is hard but it is essential if a couple
wants to make it last long. Also, another reason why the couple should be transparent with one
another is because if a couple doesn’t trust each other enough to tell about their daily life, this
could create stress, jealousy, and conflict. It is because the person doesn’t know what the
spouse is doing outside of their relationship. “Miscommunications are breeding grounds for
conflicts. Whenever possible, talk about difficult subjects when you’re in the same place.”
(Petersen, 2020, para. 12). This is why the couple must be open to one another so that the
relationship remains strong.

Since the two people in a long distance relationship don’t meet face-to-face, they should
do everyday things together like streaming and watching a movie together and get together a
few times a year. This can help the couple feel closer to each other by doing things that they
would do in real life. It creates a feeling that the person is actually there with him/her. Although it
doesn’t fully make up for the lack of physical contact and affection, it is enough for the couple to
find safety and happiness in one another and feel genuinely loved. The opposition may say that
all this spending time together online still is not as effective as when in real life. This is a
misconception. According to a scientific study, it shows people in long distance relationships and
face-to-face relationships have not much significant differences when it comes to making it
work. “The present study looks at relationships that spend less time together—long-distance
relationships and examines their relationship quality compared to face-to-face relationships. A
multivariate analysis of variance compared self-reported levels of relationship satisfaction,
intimacy, dyadic trust and the degree of relationship progress, between 194 individuals in
premarital LDRs and 190 premarital PRs. The analysis found no significant differences.”
(Guldner & Swensen, 1995, para. 1). Of course, the couple would still want to be with one
another in real life. So, it is ideal to have at least a few trips a year where the couple actually
meets face-to-face. According to Verywell Mind.com, a medically reviewed website, “It helps to
always have time to look forward to when you will next be together in the same place, whether
that is every weekend or only a few times a year.” (Stritof, 2020, para. 3). It is because the
couple may get tired of being in the relationship after a long period of time due to the absence of
them being together in real life. It may get tiring because the couple’s love and hope that they
would be together is not being renewed. So, having a few trips scheduled each year for the
couple to meet each other in real life is a good move to do.

When the right time is decided already for the two to start living with each other, they
should do their best to accept each other’s limitations and imperfections in real life. They have
to be able to accept their partner’s limitations and perfections because that’s part of being in a
relationship. You can’t just cherry pick the good attributes of the person and ignore the bad
ones. According to a study made by Ohio State University in 2012, it gathered that 1 out of 3 or
a third of the long distance relationships surveyed break up in the first three months of living in
with each other. This means that the couple really need to try to adjust with each other if they
want the relationship to work when they start living together. It will definitely be rough at first but
what does not break the relationship makes it stronger because if the couple can endure a
storm, they can definitely handle rough seas. “I polled several researchers who have studied the
subject, and their suggestions can be condensed to the following list: Communicate over a
variety of platforms...And remember that living together might be an adjustment. (Pinsker, 2019,
para. 54). The couple should not forget that they are in this together. If one party can’t adjust
with the other, huge conflicts can arise and the couple may break up in the end. So the
relationship has to go both ways for it to work.

Long distance relationships can be hard, but with proper attention, trust, accountability,
and understanding, it can work out in the end. Both parties have to do their part though because
if otherwise, the relationship would have less of a chance of succeeding. A relationship is still a
relationship and the couple should treat it as such. Long distance relationships are getting more
popular nowadays, so these people in long distance relationships should be prepared to know
what they are getting into.

References:
Ferro, S. (2015, July 10). What science has to say about long-distance relationships. Mental
Floss. Retrieved from:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/65944/what-science-has-say-about-long-distance-relationshi
ps.

Guldner, G. & Swensen, C. (1995, May 1). Time spent together and relationship quality:
long-distance relationships as a test case. SAGE Journals. Retrieved from:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407595122010.

Petersen, R. (2021, February 14). 7 tips for reducing miscommunication in a long-distance

relationship. Retrieved from: https://datingatadistance.com/miscommunication/.

Pinsker, S. by J. (2019, May 14). The new long-distance relationship. The Atlantic. Retrieved
from: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/05/long-distance-relationships/589144/.

Stritof, S. (2020, August 22). Tips for a healthy long distance marriage. Verywell Mind. Retrieved
from: https://www.verywellmind.com/keep-long-distance-marriage-healthy-2300821.