1. I do watch a lot of informative videos on Youtube it’s hurting my productivity.

While I like to
believe that I watch only informative videos in reality it’s always shorts.
2. While I love to think that I’ll be a great chess player someday. It’s usually bullet chess that I’m
playing which in reality doesn’t help with actual long format chess
3. Friends. While I understand that companionship is a must when it comes to us humans. I still
feel the need is arbitrary and it’s better to be alone than with a shitty company. I need better
friends who are more intellectual. While Proni might not fall into this category as she while
being not as smart as me, is at least attractive.
4. The phone is a small device that has internet connectivity and can communicate with other
devices almost instantly. While this contraption is useful in many ways it also causes a lot of
problems. And I’m almost addicted to it. So the thing I must do is to learn to live in the present
without a constant need to look at my phone.

The first 4 points are pretty much all the distractions I have. I feel without these four points
mentioned I’ll be better off. Not what are the consequences that I must expect if I were to shut
these thing off completely.

Reply:

1. Without Youtube I’ll be less informed about the latest events. I don’t find this particularly
offsetting and I do believe that this would be quite good as my mind will not be distracted all the
time. But I will watch some videos especially if I’m eating.
2. I do want to learn about chess. But I’m banning myself from bullet chess. Also chess is banned
from my phone. It’ll be hard but I must focus more on long form chess and by doing so I’ll
improve. I’ll dedicate 3 hours a week to chess. Just as a break time activity.
3. This is the one I’m most afraid of. While I don’t hate my friends I also don’t think they bring any
value. While I don’t expect them to act like my teachers, I also don’t want to have friends that
just waste time. In the last few weeks the only thing that I’m gained from my outings with them.
The thing that hate most isn’t the fact that I’m lonely but being surrounded with people who I
think are my friends but in reality they think the opposite. While I don’t mistrust them, I also
can’t trust the fact that they think of me as a friend. Maybe they do or maybe they don’t. if I
read something about me in the same way I’d be confused maybe my friends will be too but still
this feeling of mistrust is real as rare as it maybe. Its not true mistrust but it’s still there. Proni is
definitely someone I’d want to get along with. Although I would love to pursue her romantically
but there’s a high level of difficulty to it. At least I’d like to be good friends with her.
4. I will survive this and come out as victorious.
While I’m not sure about the 3rd point I made I’m positive about the rest.