Chapter 10: Intercultural and intergroup relations

Discussion questions
1. How does the Internet and social media sites influence intercultural
communication? Give an example from your own experience.

= In this digital era, people from all over the world are engaged in social media
through their phones, computers, tablets, workplaces, and many more. It doesn’t rule
out the possibility that everyone we know in some way participates in social media.
Let’s just talk about people that are closest to us (family and friends), there must be a
lot of them who are using some forms of social media or particularly be on sites like
Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. Social media appears as though it is here to stay
and provides a brand-new way for people to go about our daily lives, professional
lives, and even personal relationships. Cultural value orientations affect a user’s
attitude when using social media. This is how new media apparently not only
influences the form of messages, but also affects how people from different
cultures/ethicities understand each other.
Example: Never thought before that I will meet someone from some part of Java that
has an accent (medok). But a couple days ago I got a chance to meet some friends via
Zoom who come from different ethnic, traditions, backgrounds, and regions of
Indonesia. We discussed a project, and when someone that came from Surabaya
started to talk, the others giggled (they mocked her accent and the way she spoke).
When I realized that this is not right and showed bullying, then the rest of us who
weren’t laughing immediately told them to stop doing that. We told them that it is
natural, and we should respect every difference that other people have, especially if
we grew up in the same country that glorifies integration. Then in that moment, they
apologized and learned to cherish cultural differences when interacting with others.

2. Do you feel it is a good thing to begin a business negotiation with small talk?
Why? Is gift-giving between business partners acceptable in your culture?

= Yes. There are so many styles in business negotiation, but having a small talk as the
first stage could give a greater long-term impact or gain. If we want to start a
business/partnership with someone or a company, we must get to know each other
well from the beginning of the meeting. When having an intense conversation, we can
 get a bunch of information about what they like, their goals, cultures, backgrounds,
thoughts, opinions, and perspectives. Thus, all parties can make a clear, synchronized,
and mutually acceptable agreement. If there is no small talk at all, but the process of
cooperation continues, there can be a cultural clash over differences in vision,
mission, viewpoint, and opinions. If this happens, then the business could collapse in
the middle of the process because it turns out they don’t know each other personally.
In my culture, gift-giving from business partners can be considered as ‘sogokan’
(negative) or rather as a sign of inauguration of partnership (acceptable). I think it
depends on the individuals not only the culture, if the culture considers it as a positive
sign and acceptable but if the person had a bad experience with the gift-giving, it
would be judged on the basis of his/her experience. But most of the time, gift-giving
is regarded as a blessing and must be accepted, as there is saying that “we must not
refuse rezeki”.

3. The social penetration theory identified four stages of relationship development:

orientation, exploratory affective, affective exchange, and stable. Could you
provide an example to illustrate the characteristics of each stage?

= Orientation: the process of superficial information of one another is exchanged.

For example, when we have a chat with someone we don’t know before on Instagram,
then we start to ask with semi-formal language to show politeness, vice versa.
Exploratory affective: interactants begin to exchange more information, more
relaxed and friendly, but still not very personal/intimate. For example, when the DM
changes over to call several times, start to use some informal or slang words to give a
sign of closeness, break the boundaries, and become comfortable by showing about
each other’s personality.
Affective exchange: close relations develop, and some intimate details are shared,
small amount of breath and depth. For example, the conversation through Direct
Messages on Instagram is getting deeper from time to time, until the two parties
decide to meet in person.
Stable: highly intimate, we are able to predict the actions and responses of one
another, choose to continue the openness in interactions. For example, the individuals
who have reached this stage will have met in person, they share about how life is
meant to them, all personal things became known to one another and how they often
 reasoned on serious topics about life, so they could synchronize their thoughts
together.

Activities
1. Intercultural friendships vary in a number of ways: selection (who can be a
friend), duration (how long the friendship lasts), the number of friends and how
long a relationship should exist before it can be considered a friendship.
a. What do you consider are important characteristics of friendship?

= In any kind of good friendship, there are some important characteristics that
every different type of friendship has. First, each party would receive a benefit
in exchange, which could end anytime (For example: a business relationship).
Second, in a friendship that based on pleasure, each party will acquire
affection and honesty, it becomes the emotional source and it’s often the most
short-lived of the relationships, also gain enjoyment through the mutual
interest, but an ending will naturally happen as the people in their lives tend to
change when entering the phase where they’re in recalibrates over time. Last,
the most important is, every party that belongs to the relationship has to give
an appreciation about any matter, give support when others are down or in
their dark times.

b. What do you consider are important aspects for choosing a friend?

= Choose people that do not lack empathy or care for others even if we have
different cultures, can go through a mutual hardship together and face it in a
mature way. We have to stay with people that always respect our background,
culture, ethnic, and our perspectives. The loyalty can be seen when everyone
has left but she/he stays (be there even when we’re at our worst). Teach and let
us see the reality as it is, good friends will take us as we are and not expect for
more. We have to be meticulous of who will show up when we need someone
the most and never underestimate us. Last, a good friend doesn’t judge and
insult us for being different.
 c. Are different aspects of characteristics of friendship influenced by
culture?

= Yes, mostly this happens because something inherent to us is values that

have been instilled within ourselves since childhood in places where we were
introduced by our culture for the first time and raised with things that clearly
implement cultural values in everyday lives. Thus, whether consciously or not,
the characteristics that we point out in the relationship is largely from our
culture. It may slowly fade away because we are beginning to be affected by
other’s cultural values or habits, when we have a long-term relationship.

4. List in order the reasons you think it is important to have social relationships.
And also list in order the reasons you think it is important to communicate with
those from different cultures.

= Have a social relationship is important because:

a. Being connected with other people will make us feel like we belong to
someone (sense of belonging).
b. Having someone to have an intense conversation with will help us to reduce
stress and feel supported, boost the immune system, and lengthen our life.
c. Having a healthy social connection helps us to fight with mental health issues.
d. How can we make sure that the relationship could be long-term is that, we
always have willingness to learn, share, be honest, and accept any condition of
each other.

= Communicate with people who have different culture is important because:

a. Have an interaction with people who are culturally different will develop our
language and speech skill, especially as the brains grew larger, the particular
areas of the brain became specialized in social relationships.
b. It helps us to find it rewarding to cooperate with one another and find
relationships rewarding, so our brain has adapted to do so.
c. We learn how to behave, if we belong to a group and unconsciously break the
rules or regulations we can be excluded, so the point is we have to respect and
adjust ourselves with the place we live in with a good behavior and attitude.
d. Speaking about knowledge, it surely is broadening our insight, perceptions,
and vision about differences that always exist.