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 The Art of Letting God
Surrendering all your broken pieces to Him, one
prayer at a time

Mizi Wahid

IMAN Publication

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 Copyright © 2019 Mizi Wahid

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of Iman Publication Sdn Bhd. This book
may not be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form of binding or cover other than that in which
it is published, without the prior written consent of Iman Publication Sdn Bhd.

Publishing Coordinator: Fatin Syamimy Liana Badaruddin

Author : Mizi Wahid

Acquisition Editor: Nur Izzaidah Abdull Zubi

Proofreader : Faizah Hamid

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 Contents

Title Page
Copyright
Preface
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
About The Author
Ustaz Mizi Wahid Spiritual Book Collection

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 Preface
For the last 10 years, I am blessed to have gotten the chance
to meet with people from all walks of life. Beautiful people, with
interesting stories, sometimes tragic, but always inspiring. Their
struggles have taught me many lessons about life. Most prominently,
that the events that happen to us don’t get to decide when our story
is over. God does. And for as long as we continue to be blessed with
the gifts of life, a sound mind, and the ability to make a difference,
we must continue to choose hope over fear, belief over doubt, and
effort over despair.

Thanks to the nature of my profession, I have been ‘thrown into

the deep waters’ very early in my career, to handle issues and cases
relating to matters that were way beyond my years. At first, feelings
of incompetency and insecurity dominated my thoughts. But today, I
see them as a blessing in disguise. They were disguised as ‘too
complicated’, and ‘too difficult’. But now I am humbled. For difficulty
has groomed me well, and finding solutions for complicated issues
have taught me the art of thinking clearly.

The lessons that I share in this book are based on my personal

experiences, with the challenges I’ve faced, and the people I’ve met
along the way. I hope that the time I’ve invested to conceive this
book, will touch your heart in a meaningful way.


Background

The reason why I chose to write about The Art of Letting God,
is purely driven by my desire to help more people see the power and
beauty of spiritual surrendering. Something amazing happens when
you finally learn how to let go of the outcomes and the results to your
efforts. You do this by keeping your faith in the work that you’ve put
out there in the world. It also teaches you how to trust. Something
most of us are not good at. The only difference in Tawakkul is that
your trust is placed in the Almighty God; who manages the universe,
as well as our affairs with such tenderness, love, and unmatched
compassion.

As the world continues to take shape in this 21st century through the
rapid developments of technology, and the growing demands at the
workplace - stress levels are expected to increase significantly as
more and more people will struggle to manage and keep up with the
pace of life.

If there’s one thing that we can hold onto for the sake of our
sanity, our family’s unity, and our career’s stability, it would be our
faith and complete reliance on God. What I’ve learned in life thus far,
is that in order for us to make good decisions that would lead us
towards true happiness and success, we need to be in a positive
state of peace and tranquility in our hearts and minds. And God is
the instiller of peace in our hearts. So when we know how to
surrender, we’ll win.

Acknowledgements

If all the pages in this book were used to write the names of all
the people who have helped me, guided me, mentored me, to
become the person I am today, it wouldn’t be enough. I am forever
indebted to all my “teachers” in life.

I am utterly grateful to my amazing parents who raised me, my

wife who loves and supports me and the family unconditionally, and
to my children; all of whom are yet to even reach 7 years old at the
time of this publication, I am blown away by the everyday lessons
you teach me of love, patience, curiosity, and patience (yes, I said
patience twice).

I am thankful to my faithful and hardworking colleagues who

have supported me throughout this journey. We’ve gone through
good times and hard times together. I only ask that Allah bless you
with His incredible goodness in ways that only He can.

Thank you to my teachers in school who laid for me the

foundations. Thank you to my university lecturers who gave me
constant encouragement; for believing in me when my self-belief
was at one time non-existent. Thank you to my grandparents, my
aunts and uncles, my in-laws, and my cousins. You’ve given a lot.
And because of you, I am better. All praise be to Allah.
Alhamdulillah.

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 Chapter One
The Greatest Temptation

T he greatest temptation that most people face in life aren’t the

stuff they usually think them to be. Temptations are not limited
to the seduction towards lust, the call for greed, or even the lure
towards laziness and mediocrity.

In my opinion, the greatest temptation many of us find most

challenging to deal with in life - is the temptation to give up. You may
have had a list of New Year’s resolution lying on your desk at the
stroke of midnight every year, but may not have necessarily lived up
to any of them as each month passes you by. After a short sprint of
motivation, the burning aspirations that you once had inside you of
wanting to become all that you’ve dreamed of becoming, died off
almost as quickly as those dreams came. 

And then you start to lose momentum. Bit by bit. And before
you know it, questions of doubt start to pop up in your mind. “Are
these goals truly achievable? Am I being realistic? Am I good
enough? Am I worthy of such achievements? Or is it simply better for
me to just give up?”
 We’ll all be tempted to quit in different ways. Some of us will be
tempted to leave a job that’s hard. Others, to quit on our child who
has disappointed us over and over again. Some couples are
considering to end their marriage after starting their own family
together - calling it quits. Because the spark that once was, is now
no longer seen or felt.

When Things Don’t Go Your Way

The temptation to give up arises when things don’t go our way.

When you’ve been trying diligently to pay off your debts for over a
year and yet when you look at the bank statement, it seems as
though you’ve not been paying a single cent - nothing’s moved. Or
you’ve been actively searching for all sorts of alternatives with your
spouse in an effort to conceive your first child, but then time and time
again you’ve been told, it’s not working. How does a person remain
hopeful in moments of major disappointments, when being hopeful
has caused them more pain than ever before?

I personally believe that there is a slight but critical difference

between hope and expectations. When you have expectations you
expect that things (and people) turn out the way you envisioned
them to be, nothing less. However, when you choose hope, you pray
and wish for the best, but even if things don’t go your way, you’ll be
fine.

Being hopeful causes you to accept the situation regardless of

how the outcome turns out in the end. Yes you’ll feel disappointment.
And yes you’re probably still be praying for the best. But for the time
being, you embrace the way things have unfolded with open arms
and with an open heart.

So how does a person actually learn how to deal with this great
temptation? Isn’t it easier to just quit? Indeed. I won’t spend too
much time arguing with you on that fact. I’d rather focus on your
preference; the preference for ease. This book is not written for
those who want things easy. You can pray for easy. Moses (peace
be upon him) asked God for ease in his affairs. But he also asked for
strength, wisdom, patience, ability, and support.

And despite asking for easy, he went through a lot of hardship,

intense worry and fear. But in the end, he prevailed. Because even
when things got difficult for him, he never gave up. He kept on
marching and kept on believing.

But in order for him to ask God for the right kind of help, he first
needed to know more about himself. What were his greatest
weaknesses? What were his biggest fears? It seemed like every
prayer he made had an underlying meaning - at least for all of us to
ponder and reflect upon individually.

When he asked God to “expand his chest”, was it an indication

of fear? Was he asking God to instill courage in his heart? Was it
anxiety getting the best of him? Lack of confidence perhaps? When
he asked for “ease in his affairs”, was it due to the perception that
the task ahead was too intimidating that he was almost certain it will
be an overwhelming burden and responsibility?
 When he asked for “his tongue to be untied”, was it a sign of
self-consciousness regarding the speech impediment that he knew
he had? Or was it simply an honest assessment about his own
disabilities, merely hoping to get some help, so as to preach more
effectively?

When he asked for “a minister from his own family”, was it due
to the fear of facing the Pharoah all on his own? Was it meant to be
a confidence booster? Or so that he may assign some of the tasks to
his brother Aaron (peace be upon him)?

Whatever the actual reasons may be, we must remember that

his prayers were indications of his self-awareness. It is evident that
Moses was a man who spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting
about the purpose of life, how much further he was from his goals,
and what sort of tools he needed in order to achieve his ultimate
mission.

So once you’ve managed to get real with yourself and figured

out what some of your major weaknesses are, begin by making a
sincere and hopeful prayer to God. Remember to always give your
best, regardless of how much of a hindrance the obstacle is [like a
speech impediment when your main job requires you to preach] , or
how strong and intimidating the enemy is [like having to face off with
a king as forceful and as authoritative as Pharaoh was], or even how
desperate the situation may be [like being in a predicament where
the sea is in front of you, and your enemies are moving fast from
behind you].

Shake Off Defeat

Today, shake off the temptation to get discouraged during the

difficult moments. Shake off frustration, shake off discouragement.
Remember, all it takes is just one touch of God’s favour to turn things
around and to take you years ahead towards your destiny. Keep
standing, keep believing, and keep hoping, because the answer is
on its way. Divine assistance has been forming and making its way
into your life the day you prayed and the moment you began to make
concentrated efforts towards your desired goals.

Here’s an example of what can happen if you don’t give up too

soon. Near the end of Prophet Joseph’s story (peace be upon him),
his father, Jacob (peace be upon him) encouraged his children to not
give up in their search and reclamation efforts of their two youngest
brothers. God revealed this:

“O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief
from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving
people.” (Quran 12: 87)

The predicament that they were in was that Joseph has been
missing for years [presumably decades] since the incident when his
older brothers threw and left him in a well all by himself - done
entirely out of envy. And as for their youngest brother, Benjamin
(peace be upon him), he had just been reprimanded and held back
as he was ‘caught stealing’ in the palace - which was in truth a
masterstroke ploy set up by Joseph himself, to reunite with his whole
family.
 Their motivation to keep going in spite of the many recent
disappointments - inspired by their father’s encouraging words -
eventually paid off.

In life, it’s always easier to give up: The temptation to throw in

the towel in your business that’s struggling. The enticement of
walking out on a marriage that’s failing. The urge to raise the white
flag and quit on a job that’s far too challenging. 

But ‘easy’ will not give us the things and experiences that we
will treasure and cherish for the rest of our lives. Greatness doesn’t
always come out from easy circumstances and events. One thing we
can expect through difficulty and perseverance is that we will grow.
And when we do, the struggles, the failures, and the challenges will
suddenly, become “easy”.

The Whispers Of Anguish And Misery

Right now, I’d like you to take a minute to figure out where that
voice of despair is coming from. What is it telling you? What
reasons/excuses is it coming up with to justify you giving up? And in
which area of your life is it telling you to quit?

Are you trying to quit a lifelong addiction, but each time you fall
back into your old ways, you find yourself feeling frustrated and
thinking about giving up?
 Are you giving your all in trying to achieve your life’s dreams
and goals, but the criticism people give you, the lack of moral
support, and all of the trials along the way are taking their toll on
you?

Or are you on a journey towards repentance? Is it tempting to

give up on the process, especially when friends and family don’t
believe in your ability to turn over a new leaf and start fresh? Is it
even more tempting to give up when you just can’t get your mind off
of your darker days in the past?

Friends, we must learn to eliminate the voice of temptation and

the desire to quit on ourselves. From now on, let your yearning to
obey God outstrip your desire to give up.

And please realise that the most challenging of all these

temptations that you must resist is unquestionably the temptation to
give up on Allah. Refuse, resist, and reject such thoughts the
moment they appear. Because for all that it’s worth, and with all the
slip-ups you have made in the past, He has never given up on you,
not even for a second.

The Best Is Yet To Come

The reason you woke up this morning was because God wasn’t
finished with you yet. He’s got something else for you to do. If you’re
a teacher, then you haven’t taught your best lesson yet. If you’re a
chef, you haven’t served your best dish yet. If you’re a writer, you
haven’t published your best piece yet. If you’re a business owner,
you haven’t negotiated your best deal yet. 

Each day, you’re one step closer to living your best day yet.
Seize every opportunity. The timing is right, and the conditions are in
order. Something amazing is about to happen in your life. Don’t let
anybody tell you you’re not good enough. Don’t let them tell you
you’re too young, or too old. Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re
finished. Every day that you wake up in the morning, it’s a sign - the
best is yet to come.

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 Chapter Two
How Did I End Up Broken?

W ell, if you’re anything like me, I’m going to guess that you
have had your heart broken before, perhaps not too long ago,
and may currently be going through a tough time just trying to get
over it. Hearts get broken for various reasons.

Like when your business venture fails because your partner

didn’t turn out to be the person you thought she was. Or your love
life comes to a standstill because your relationship isn’t the same
now as it was back then at its breathtaking and delirious beginning.
Or your marriage comes to an end, after all those years, after all
those promises, after all those special moments shared together. Or
your son goes off on his own, telling you as he leaves that you’re a
lousy father or mother.

Yes, there are so may ways to have your heart broken.

However, as I continue to traverse through life, I have realised that
there are just as many ways for us to forgive and let go. As hard as it
is to experience the pain of heartbreak, in order to move on, we must
have the resilience and resolve to break through the pain barrier and
forgive those who have hurt us and betrayed our trust. This is for us
to return to our Fitrah, attain peace of mind, and have serenity in our
lives once again.

Did You Set Yourself Up To Be Broken?

My wife and I are blessed with three wonderful and beautiful

kids. And we’re ever grateful for these blessings. Our oldest kid will
be 6 years old the day this book is scheduled for release, God-
willing. So, as you can guess, they’re all still pretty young.

So, speaking of broken things, over the course of joyfully

raising them, many things have been broken, deliberately on a few
rare occasions, but mostly out of carelessness and clumsiness. As
any parent would tell you, there is one thing which is near impossible
to avoid - broken things. My wife made peace with herself after our
third kid arrived. She said, “I have learned to choose my daily
battles. And I choose my sanity.” Haha!

But here’s a small observation I made regarding expectations

and broken things. So, please bear with me:

(1) Even though we know that they will not likely learn
anytime soon to not play with certain things, very often we still
overlook this fact. How? Time and time again, we place the
cold drink we just poured for ourselves after a long and hot
day on the floor behind where we’re seated, thinking we can
‘hide it from them’. But the second we’re distracted, they
spilled our drink all over the carpet while attempting to get a
sip. This teaches me, that when we try to fool others, we end
up disappointed and being the fool.

(2) I once placed my new glasses near the bed. And I’m very
dependent on my glasses, so I’ve been extremely careful and
protective of it; keeping it away as far as I can from my
daughter when she was one. But there was a day when I took
it off, placed it at the side, looked at my phone for a while, and
when I turned back to her, she broke the frame in half! All she
needed was 5 seconds or less. This teaches me, to buy better
quality glasses, AND that when you place things that are
vulnerable in a place where you might risk breaking it, one
day, you’ll probably see it broken.

(3) I recall a lecture I listened to more than a decade ago by

the late Dr. Stephen Covey, the famous author of The 7
Habits of Highly Effective People. He narrated a story about
how one day while on the subway, he noticed a man entering
the train with his kids - probably 3 or 4 of them. He then sat
there and watched in bewilderment as to how the father gave
out an almost indifferent demeanour while his children were
creating so much noise in the train, running around, climbing
the poles, chasing after each other, laughing and screaming
out loud.

Stephen got irritated and finally decided to approach the

father, committing himself to voluntarily speak on behalf of the
other passengers, with the intention of being righteous while
hoping to get the man to do something about the situation
 that’s unfolding in front of their eyes. So he said to the man,
“Sir, don’t you think you should be getting your kids to
probably sit down and behave a little bit?” Upon which the
man replied, in a sigh: “I guess I should, huh. Sorry, we just
came back from the hospital. Their mom just died. I just
wanted them to get their minds off of it. Didn’t want to be too
hard on them at the moment.”

Stephen said, he felt so horrible at that time for judging the

situation based on what he saw before truly understanding
what the context was. In addition to this profound takeaway, I
also learned that, if you want to have peace in your life, you
can’t have too many rules.

If you only had one rule for one child, that would be
manageable. Many rules for one child would be challenging.
But how about, “No climbing on the sofa. No eating in the car.
No jumping on the bed. No watching the TV before homework
is done. No… No… No…” and you have 5 or 6 children. What
are the chances of you losing your peace on a daily basis?
And how many TIMES a day? Exactly.

So let’s recap:

1. When we try to fool others, we end up being the fool. We

try too hard to put up a front as if to say that we’re alright, all
of the time. I don’t know why many people do this. Is it really
worth all the effort to hold up a facade of collectedness when
 on the inside we’re completely and hopelessly broken? It’s
OK to accept that it is only human for us to sometimes feel
hurt, sad, and vulnerable.

2. When you place things that are vulnerable in a place where

you might risk breaking it, one day, you’ll probably see it
broken. Where is your heart today? Where did you put it? In
someone else’s hand? Or did you surround it with conditions
such as, “as long as I don’t lose my job”, or “as long your
spouse doesn’t say or do the wrong things?”

Is your heart’s peace protected by the stability of your

business and career? Is it in the expectations that your child
turns out polished and perfect? Or is it in the flawed belief that
as long as you meticulously follow your plans, things will
always turn out EXACTLY the way you want them to?

3. If you want to have peace in your life, you can’t have too
many rules. Especially if those rules are dependent upon
others; to be or to behave in a certain way. Or for certain
events to happen in your life, by a fixed timing that you have
set in your mind. We should never etch something in stone if
we are not sure of the outcome. Doing that will only guarantee
a certain degree of heartache and disappointment. “I’ll only be
happy, if I get married by 25.”

Consult Your Head, And Your Heart

 Friends, remember to be careful with where you place your
heart at all times. And try to recall the following words of advice
when manoeuvring through life:

1. Never expect people to be perfect - expect the best, but

never perfection (perfectionists might get uncomfortable with
this!)

2. Life is not a movie, reality will often play out differently

3. Keep your hopes high, but avoid unrealistic expectations

4. Have a backup plan - a plan B

5. It’s good to have a criteria before entering into relationships

- with some flexibility

6. Trust your instincts. Sometimes logic and facts get too

much in the way. Let your intuition be your guide

7. Don’t rush into things - if you have the luxury, take as much
time as you need to decide

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 Chapter Three
The Meaning of Surrender

“And to Allah belongs the unseen [aspects] of the heavens and the earth, and to Him
return all affairs. So worship Him, and put your trust in Him. And your Lord is not
unaware of what you do.”(Quran 11: 123)

W hen we were born, we were all in a state of complete

surrender. We were not capable to do anything on our own.
So we depended upon our mom and dad, and our caretakers to
attend to our every need. We received help from them on things that
even we never knew we would need help with. They protected us
from harm. They kept us warm. They cared for us when we were
unwell. And taught us everything we needed to know in order to
become successful in life.

Tawakkul (Arabic: ‫ )َتَوُّكل‬in the Arabic language is the word

used to imply one’s act of reliance on God or “trusting in His plan”. It
is also seen as “perfect trust in God, and complete reliance on Him
alone.

From another perspective, Tawakkul also means knowing that

there is a Wakeel who is assisting you in matters of great
significance to you. When a man wishes to marry a lady, in some
cultures, the man would first send a representative to the girl’s
house, as a Wakeel. This person would usually be someone whom
he trusts, or someone known to be extremely trustworthy to perform
this important task.

True surrendering requires us to overcome the urge to do

everything on our own. Don’t get me wrong. Effort is necessary. In
fact, I love what the late Imam As-Sya’rawi (may Allah have mercy
on him) said in this regard: “Al-jawaarihu ta’mal [the external body
parts work], wal-quloobu tatawakkal [while the hearts surrender].”
That’s so beautifully put. And that is the essence and meaning of
letting God.

We Surrender Too Soon

One day, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) noticed that a bedouin had left his
camel alone without tying it. Prophet Muhammad then asked the bedouin, “Why don’t
you tie your camel?” The bedouin answered, “I put my trust in Allah.” Then the
Prophet replied, “Tie your camel first and then put your trust in Allah.” [Narrated by
at-Tirmizi]

Have we been guilty of trusting before “tying”? Trusting before

trying, trusting before working, trusting before exploring, trusting
before going, trusting before studying.

Or are we the opposite? Do we do all that needs to be done,

but fail to involve God in the process. God is not part of the process.
He IS the process. To leave Him out in life is akin to driving a car
without an engine which would give you power to move when you
want to, or without brakes which would give you the ability to stop
when you need to. In other words, life without God will cause you to
lead a life that is either stationary, regressive, or simply reckless.

Only He is loving enough to send you beautiful reminders that

will help you to slow down when you’re moving too fast. He’ll cause
you to stop in your tracks, even though you are reluctant to, just to
protect you from an impending danger.

The Interconnectedness Of Faith

No matter how detailed your plans are in life, always remind

yourself of who is the Master Planner. I believe that the outcome of
our lives will always be dependent upon our decisions and actions.
For we are judged by them. However, there are many other variables
that are not within our control, for we must learn to embrace them.

One of those major variables are the people you meet along
the way. You’ve certainly lost count of the exact number of people
you’ve met and made friends with in school, in your neighbourhood,
at work, during travel and - since it’s 2017, I’ll have to also mention -
the people you meet on social media. He decides who you meet,
where you’ll meet them, and when. And then it is for us to decide,
how to treat them, what we choose to give or gain from them, and
what can we learn from the relationships, no matter how they
eventually end.

Ultimately, our job is simple, but not easy. The concept and
theory is simple to understand. We must surrender and place our
complete faith in God’s grand masterplan for our lives. The execution
will be a challenge. Because Tawakkul (surrendering), and trust are
two complicated subjects that require a great deal of effort,
experience, and unshakeable faith.

The Tendency To Leave Out God

Due to the busyness or stress of life, we have developed a

tendency to leave God out of the equation due to our logic and ego.
We leave Him out when the thing we do gets a bit too routine. We
know where to start, where to stop, and what to do when things get
stuck. Or when you’re an expert or a specialist in a particular field.
You have been trained to know what to do in complicated situations.

But that’s not how things work. There is no blessing in anything

that is done without the mention of God in the beginning, the
direction of God in the middle, and the acceptance of God’s
outcomes in the end.

Sometimes you don’t consider involving God, let alone

surrendering your affairs over to Him because you have tried and
failed, so you feel that you’re better off on your own. Don’t be fooled,
my friends.

Surrendering is:

(1) Releasing and letting go - of the past that’s been holding

you back
 (2) Trusting Allah - to bring you through what He’s brought you
to

(3) Not letting things be, without first taking focused and faithful
action

So, when one thing breaks down in your life, you’ve got to work
with what’s left. Grieve if you must, but don’t mourn forever. Because
you don’t need anything you lost to bless you. 

Even if EVERYTHING you have leaves you, and God is all you
have left to turn to - one day you will realise, that He is ALL that
you’ll ever need to see through - ALL of your dreams to come true.

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 Chapter Four
Understanding Our Destination, And His Roadmap

L ife is pretty interesting. Somewhere in the world today, there are

people celebrating with joy and elation. There is a couple out
there who just welcomed their first child. The child is well and healthy
despite some doctors telling them in the past months that it was
biologically impossible for them to conceive.

A young lady who was raised by her single-mother in a rented

apartment, just delivered her valedictorian speech, against all odds.
A 55-year old man diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, just got healed, 3
years after he was told he had 3 more months to live. Exhilaration,
delight, and profound gratitude.

At about the same time, a man out there just lost custody of his
only child in a failed marriage. A 21-year old just walked into the four
walls of a prison cell, wondering if there’s any purpose or reason left
for him to live for. And a housewife, who had just finished plating her
dishes for dinner, receives an unexpected visit from a police officer,
to inform her that her husband just died from a fatal road accident. 

Wow. Such is the drama of life. Experiencing the highest of

highs and the lowest of lows. The extreme ends of each spectrum.
Flying on cloud nine one moment, and lying 6-feet underground in
the next. 

And this is what the Beloved (peace be upon him) had to say: 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affairs are good, and this is not
for anyone else except the believer. If something GOOD befalls him, he is GRATEFUL
and that is good for him. If something BAD befalls him, he is PATIENT and that is
good for him (too).”  [Narrated by Imam Muslim]

As Easy As A, B, C?

Too many people have been disappointed by the way things

have turned out for them. To me, disappointments are common. As
long as you’ve lived, mixed with people, or tried to pursue your
dreams expecting a perfect outcome, disappointment will be your
“friend”. But life does not end at every disappointment.

There is this strong belief that there is only one path towards
success and happiness. We may have been told that the only way to
find success is by getting a degree, then finding a good-paying job,
settle down, start a family, climb up the ranks at your organisation
through sheer discipline and hard work, and then retire when it’s
time.

That looks great. But life won’t always pan out the way you
expect it to. We assume that everything will progress smoothly from
A, to B, to C, to D, and so on. But that’s rarely how God allows things
to unfold. Instead, you are more likely to experience life starting at A,
and then to G, and then to K, and then C, and then F - you get the
point.

Some of us, in our need for some structure, we compromise

the need for us to surrender. As long as we’re not too fixated with
OUR plans to reach our destination, we should be fine. Being flexible
is ultimately the key to maintaining your peace and sanity in this
roller coaster journey. One thing I have personally benefitted from by
being flexible, and trusting His plans, is that I’ve developed a greater
sense of gratitude regardless of the outcome.

It sounds weird to be grateful for things that don’t turn out the
way you want them to. But I realised that there were many blessings
that I’m grateful for today which I wouldn’t have had if I did not have
to make a few u-turns and detours along the way.

My “Perfect” Plan

During the tail end of my studies, I recall myself seriously

contemplating on quitting, because by then I had developed different
interests than the one I had when I first began. Different interests
equals a new plan. A few years prior to this, I knew that after 12
years of studying in a religious school back home in Singapore, the
only thing I wanted to do more than anything else was to complete
the missing piece of the puzzle in my formal education - which was a
degree in Islamic studies.
 But just before I enrolled into the university, I had been reading
and learning a tonne of other materials on personal development,
business, and leadership that had began to shape the manner in
which I constructed my thoughts, causing me to look at the world in a
whole new way, to dream bigger, and make bolder decisions in life.

I wonder how my life would be today if I had chosen to quit

before I finished.

A few months before graduating from the Al-Azhar University, I

then told myself that I would never want to be an employee, as the
original plan was to immediately start my own business. Again, I had
my plans thought through, but God’s plans were and always will be
better. Because fate began to unfold a completely different story.

Not long after coming back home, interestingly, I was offered

an internship programme to help support a new department in a
major local organisation, which I ironically accepted. Why? The offer
came from someone I was close to, an old neighbour who used to
learn the Quran from my dad when we were kids. Fate. Nothing
happens by chance. And another reason why I accepted it was
because I was told that it was only going to be for 3 months. At that
time, I didn’t think that it would disrupt my plans in any way.

The Unexpected Turnaround

In the final week of my internship, something funny happened.

There were suddenly a few job openings in that organisation. A
fellow intern friend suggested that I applied, especially since “I had
the right qualifications” for one of the positions on offer. I obviously
said no. Moreover, I told her, “my plan was never to work for
anyone”, and “especially not this organisation”. Word of advise to my
readers: Never be arrogant. And never say never to God!

For some unexplainable reason, this friend went over and

beyond. You have to understand that her behaviour was a bit
strange to me because I’ve only known her and the other interns for
only a short while, mostly our interactions were limited to lunch hour.
So she went to the front counter, grabbed an application form,
handed it over to me and asked me to submit it before the deadline -
which happened to be on that same day, at 5.00pm.

I said, I don’t think I can even if I wanted to. I didn’t have my

certificates with me, or even a passport-sized photo of myself to
paste on the cover of the form. She said it didn’t matter. Just submit
it, and if they liked me, they’ll call me up for an interview. Her
unyielding persistence was impossible to ignore. So, I did as she
said, and submitted a bare form. With only the information that I had
with me, sans attachments and photo.

And guess what? A few weeks later I got a call saying I had
been shortlisted. I was up against 24 other applicants, with better
grades, from better universities, and some with solid working
experience. As confident as I was then as a person, I never thought I
had a chance. But God, He had other plans. Three stages of
interviews later, I was hired.
 How did I feel? To be honest, I had mixed feelings. A part of me
felt really disappointed with the new direction that my life was taking
me. Felt like I’ve betrayed myself and the dreams I had set my heart
on by taking this job. But another part of me felt extremely grateful
because I knew that I was blessed enough to overcome the odds
(against other better candidates) and got a position that wasn’t easy
to get, and how fortunate I was to have been entrusted with it.

Remember, life is never over after a disappointment. Nothing

that you’re going through, or have been through is a surprise to God.

To cut the story short, my big aspirations finally got to me in the

end. I stayed on with the organisation for two-and-a-half years,
gaining a wealth of learning experience - before Safinah Institute
was born. During my brief stint, I travelled the world, and met with
many important and respected figures. I was involved in key
meetings with high-ranking officials. I presented research papers,
participated in international conferences, and got involved in a wide
range of discussions leading up to a few major policies and fatwas.

The main takeaway here is that sometimes when we think

we’re ready for something, we may be wrong. Never be insulted by
the idea that you could be better. And as such, God, with His infinite
wisdom decided that I should take a detour, and He knows best. I
thought I was more than ready to embark on an entrepreneurial
journey immediately all on my own. And that all I needed back then
was a burning passion, a strong desire, and an array of ideas. But
boy was I wrong. I’m not sure how long I would’ve lasted if I’d not
had the exposure like the one I got from my first full-time job. I am
profoundly grateful, far from regretful, for this twist of events in my
early post-graduation years.

In summary, remember that life rarely flows sequentially. But it

does not mean that it’s all bad. Never allow your disappointments to
perpetuate, and then stall your life. Believe that nothing just
happens. Instead, everything happens for a good reason. And
everything happens for you, not against you.

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 Chapter Five
God Begins Where You End

V ery often, many people get confused when they’re facing a

battle in life. On one hand, they’ve been told to remain calm
and faithful in the midst of adversity. And on the other hand, they’ve
been encouraged to pray to God for divine intervention.

The problem occurs when we begin to infer from such

teachings that the moment we’ve turned it over to God through
prayer, we no longer have any other responsibilities left to do. This
then opens up the door to another complication - the mindset of, “Oh
well, if God wants it to happen, He’ll cause it to happen. I’ve done my
part.”

Complacency, laziness, and procrastination thrive under such

limiting mindsets and attitude. One thing we must learn to
understand about letting God is that He will come in after we’ve
given our all. He wants to see us put in the hard work, throw in a
hundred percent, till we’ve got nowhere else to turn, and nothing else
to try.

I am not at all making the suggestion that He can’t or won’t

send down blessings and divine assistance prior to that. His Mercy is
not conditional. But I do strongly believe that sometimes God is more
interested in seeing a change in us, than a change in our situation.
So rather than turning our circumstances around, He may prolong it
to see if we’ve got what it takes to change our ways; to grow, to
improve, and to mature into the person He’s destined you to
become.

So, in order for this to happen, you’ll have to do your part first.
And at the end of your efforts, God begins.

Get Busy

You see, sometimes the things we asked for, God has already
answered. You prayed for a tree, and He gave you some seeds. You
asked for prosperity and abundance, so he inspired into your mind
new concepts and ideas. You prayed for your marriage to improve,
so He cancels a work meeting and blesses you with spare time.

He wants to see you get down and dirty; planting those seeds
into the ground, with soil stuck in between your nails, brow catching
your sweat, your shoulders aching in discomfort.

Could He have made it a lot easier for you and just gave you a
tree instead? Of course He could. But how much can we learn from
easy? Not much. How far can we stretch with easy? Not very far.

Friends, we must always be reminded that it is not sufficient for

us to simply surrender after prayer. We must work. And when we do,
we must remember to appreciate the agonising process of learning
and growing along the way.

A Win-Win Outcome

You don’t lose for trying. Let me illustrate for you what you
stand to gain from giving a hundred percent. Even in the scenario
where a change in your circumstances is becoming seemingly
doubtful in spite of your best efforts, there are still plenty of other
benefits to look out for.

1. A greater aptitude for patience

2. A richer experience in life

3. Personal growth

4. A deeper sense of gratitude and satisfaction

5. Strength to overcome future challenges

6. Grit to get through the dry seasons

7. Resilience during tough times

You Have What You Need

 Allow me to illustrate my point through a simple metaphor.
Sometimes in life, we tend to get disappointed when we prayed for
“cake”, but didn’t receive cake. But could it be that instead of giving
us cake, God gave us flour, He gave us eggs, sent us some butter,
and a spatula to mix them together?

What if everything you ever thought you needed in order to

succeed and to achieve the things you wanted in life was within you?

What if instead of giving you a cake - all wrapped up in a box

decorated with a bow on top - He wanted us to show a little desire
and put in a bit of effort?

Very often we may conclude too soon by believing that our

prayers were not heard. We need to realise that our answered
prayers don’t always arrive looking as how we imagined them to be.
Because sometimes they may come in different packages.

And oftentimes, they require a little ‘blending’ of this skill, and

that knowledge, and this business contact, and that bit of experience
all mixed together. So the next time you begin to wonder about all
your unanswered prayers, check your bag, because the tools and
ingredients you need may just be inside.

I pray that you would be given the supernatural wisdom to find

ways in overcoming the challenges you are facing today. And may
you be blessed with the strength and commitment to carry through.
Ameen. 
Acting In Faith

There is a saying of our Prophet (peace be upon him) that was

narrated by Imam at-Tirmizi where he once gave us an analogy
using birds as an example of how faith needs to be accompanied
with action. In the narration of Umar bin Al-Khattab (may Allah be
pleased with him), he said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be
upon him) said:

“If all of you were to truly have faith in Allah s.w.t. He will certainly provide you with
sustenance, just as He would give to a little bird, for when it leaves its nest in the
morning with an empty stomach, but returns home in the evening full.”

Sometimes, the circumstances presented to you in life may

appear broken and beyond repair. Sometimes your finances may be
at a dead end with insurmountable debts and numerous bills to pay.
But just as the Hadith teaches us, remember to never lose hope.

The little bird is never assured of any food before it leaves its
nest, but it goes in search for it anyway. It was never guaranteed that
food will be found immediately, or after a few minutes of searching,
or five hours of scavenging before it gets what it is looking for. But it
stays in faith throughout, and leaves its nest anyway.

So no matter how hard it is for you to keep on believing, I’m

certain that if you keep holding on to faith, keep giving your best, the
outcome of what you are hoping for and believing in will
finally present itself to you. Whether it is your finances, your
relationships or your health. Believe each day in expectancy. Just
like that little bird, you will attach every action you take towards your
goals with unquestionable faith in the Almighty Allah, the Lord of
Sustenance, Mercy and Abundance.

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 Chapter Six
Your Stops And Steps

Q uite often in life, we find that our plans are forced to change
due to people and circumstances which are beyond our
control. As a result, we tend to get extremely disenchanted and
upset when our journey is met with a sudden and immediate
standstill. It gets really frustrating when you’ve had everything
planned according to their exact precision and detail, yet something
unexpected happened - totally disrupting the whole perfect sequence
and order of the plan you have arranged for.

Well, here’s what I believe in when it comes down to this: the

stops and steps of a good person is directed by Allah. Meaning, all
that we experience in life are simply part and parcel of life’s journey
according to His direction and the critical decisions we make along
the way. 

Do we not ask Allah everyday while we pray to guide us to the

right path? 

“Guide us to the straight path.” (Quran 1: 6)

So now that we have prayed to Him, asking for His divine

directions in life, the next step is to have bold and unwavering faith
in the fact that all our setbacks (stops) and efforts (steps) are guided
by Him. Therefore, we must learn to embrace that every delay has a
purpose and at every crossroad is a moment for us to reflect and
carefully plan our next move. Inevitably, our plans may have to
change, but God is still guiding our way.  

Friends, my message is simple. Just remember, the next time

you feel like turning your joy over to your enemy (the devil) or giving
it away to someone who hurt you and disrupted your plans, keep in
mind that our stops and our steps are determined by the All Knowing
and the Most Merciful God. Have unquestionable faith in His
guidance towards something much better for your future, insyaAllah.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Seven
What People Say

I recall back in 2012, I had my biggest event when 100 people

signed up for my talk. It was a pretty decent jump considering the
previous one had less than 50. I was excited, prepared really hard
for it, and delivered the event in the best possible way I knew I could.
These mass lectures are now one of my signature events,
alhamdulillah, starting off with only 24 people in the first one, and our
highest recorded attendance was 750.

But I’ll never forget how the event made me feel. Or to be more
specific, how a particular feedback from one participant made me
feel so crushed and demoralised. Yes, it was one negative feedback
against 99 positive ones. But negativity has a way of getting all of
your attention focused on it, causing it to matter more than anything
else. The impact was so powerful that it got me questioning myself,
my worth, my values, and my purpose.

As with most “negative” feedbacks, the one I received was

written anonymously. It was long too. So it got me wondering for a
week who could’ve possibly written it. And the whole emotional roller
coaster set me back for at least another two weeks.
 Too often, we allow what others have to say to hurt us beyond
measure. As I got older and continue to run more and larger events,
I still read most of the feedback forms from our participants, but the
only difference is that I no longer allow the less-than-positive reviews
to bother me as much as they did in the past. I take them in
objectively and try to improve in those areas with my team the best
way we can.

My valuable takeaways from this unforgettable event:

(1) People will always be entitled to what they say. Even though
they don’t have to be mean or harsh, some will find a way to “grab
you by the throat” through their own way, regardless of how you
may feel on the receiving end

(2) The ego will always be hard on itself by interpreting comments

which are more likely intended to be constructive, and translate it
as negative feedback, hateful comments, and unreasonable
complaints

(3) When some people have only negative things to consistently

say about you, it may be more of a reflection of their world view
than about who you truly are

(4) In the end, I like to believe that all of these are a form of a test,
to help you grow as a person - the faster you’re able to get over
them, the quicker you’ll be able to handle bigger and tougher
challenges in the future
In His Eyes

There are many things in life which are beyond our control. For
example, when your six months old laptop crashes in the midst of an
assignment causing you to lose all of the unsaved documents. Or
when you leave home for work earlier than usual but then the bus
that you’re on unexpectedly breaks down at the highway and you
end up arriving at the workplace an hour later than usual. Or when
you’ve run through the list of things to do to your best man or
bridesmaid over and over again for your wedding day, but then when
the day finally comes, it suddenly starts raining heavily that all your
earlier plans had to be forgone.

Sometimes even though we try our very best not to allow these
things to affect us, they eventually slip through our slim resistance
and seep through our minds.

And so, one other thing I would add to that list of which we
have no control over is what people wish to think or say about us.
What they wish to perceive from the negative is certainly not
something we can withhold, but it is indeed something we can refuse
to receive. Allowing other people’s judgements to affect us
psychologically and emotionally is essentially our choice. 

I know it sounds easier to say than it is to practically do. But

remember this, when it comes to what others think and say about us,
know that their eyesight is only limited to seeing the damage we’ve
done to ourselves, but Allah sees the potential greatness in us to be
better and do more good.
 “So let not their speech grieve you. Indeed, We know what they conceal and what they
declare.” (Quran 36: 76)

Others may comment on your looks and appearance. But in

His eyes, you are beautiful. Your difference does not make you less
than perfect, it makes you unique, it makes you stand out from the
rest. He created you, and in His eyes, every creation is a divine
masterpiece. Stand tall and walk with confidence.

We may have done some wrong in the past, and there may be
some old friends or relatives who continue to look at us in the same
way, talking behind our backs, despite the ongoing efforts we are
putting in to change for the better. So I say, let them look at you
through their eyes of judgment if they must, just know that Allah is
looking upon you with His eyes of love and compassion.

Here’s the thing: Others are limited to only judging us based on

what we have become (because that’s as much as they know about
us). But Allah is different, He looks beyond our past and present self.
He looks at us based on the greater good inside of us, and the
potential force of goodness that we CAN become. In their human
eyes we may be unworthy of their love, but in His eyes...we are
constantly loved.

Avoiding Negative People

“And be patient over what they say and avoid them with gracious avoidance.” (Quran
73: 10)
 I get asked this question a lot: “Are we allowed to cut ties with
toxic individuals? Friends, coworkers, relatives?”

I have a pretty firm stand on this. I don’t believe in severing

ties. My faith teaches me to maintain good relations. So if it means
that a person is negatively impacting my life, instead of discontinuing
that relationship, I would choose to instead practice gracious
avoidance. I interpret that as:

Keeping Your Distance

Lessening the frequency of your meet-ups or conversations

In today’s context, ’seeing them less’ on social media helps -

but if unfriending or blocking is too dramatic of a move and could
potentially cause more harm to the relationship, then don’t - find
other ways

One of the things I’ve learned to accept in my life is that some

people need to be loved from a distance. Again, it does not mean
that they’re bad, or that we’re too good for them. Sometimes it is just
about certain behaviours that some people possess which makes it
unhealthy for us to continue staying too close to them.

Loving from a distance means that we continuously remember

them in our prayers, and proving that we genuinely still care for
them. We do this by asking about them or by paying them a visit
when we hear something unfortunate had happened to them or their
loved ones.

In the midst of all of these, never lose sight the main objective.
You’re only keeping your distance because their negativity is getting
to you and it’s affecting your peace. Never make an issue bigger
than it actually is.

Simultaneously, as you’re carrying out the above, you need to

consistently reflect and perform self-introspections too. You should
never be satisfied with the way things will remain. There must be
conscious attempts at trying to bridge the gap in that relationship and
reconnect again someday. But most importantly, look for the learning
points. Aim for personal growth and maturity, emotionally and
spiritually.

Rejecting Poison

If someone were to offer you a cup of deadly poison for you to

drink right now, would you accept it? I hope you said no! It’s funny
how we would clearly reject a cup of poison that would kill us
physically, but we accept all other forms of “poison” which would
murder our thoughts and destroy our peace and happiness to its
death.

 Remember the last time someone said that you’re not good
enough for something? Whether it was to get excellent grades in
school, or to pursue your studies at the highest level, or to get hired
for a top position in a company. How did you feel? Did it sit right with
you when you heard those words spoken to you? Did it make you
reject that cup of poison, or did you gladly accept the offer?

 Coming from a full-time Madrasah (Islamic school) here in

Singapore, and then to an Islamic College in Malaysia, followed by
Al-Azhar University in Cairo, the path I took didn’t always win me
praises or positive comments. Cups of poison were offered to me
and my parents in huge bulks. I heard a lot of comments which were
in fact, outright negative. I would hear people say to my parents
about how bleak and unpromising my future would be if I stayed in
the same path. How my chances of getting a job would be so low
and how my pay would be badly affected. I’m just happy that my
parents stayed strong and faithful to God throughout the years.

 I heard those words being said to me so many times, that I

became somewhat immune to it after a while. And something deep
inside me started to move. I felt a calling so strong in wanting to
prove all the naysayers wrong. One day, I woke up deciding to
refuse the poisonous remarks, to reject the demeaning comments
and to rise beyond others’ expectations of me. Alhamdulillah, I have
so much to be thankful for today for where I am now and what I have
achieved thus far. I’m also happy to state that it’s only the beginning.
I still have miles to go before I sleep.

 Friends, reject the cup of poison. Instead, drink from the

fountain of faith, the reservoir of resilience, and the sea of spiritual
confidence.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Eight
Releasing What You Can't Change

H ave you ever bought a piece of clothing or accessory that was

beautiful and brand new, but because you overestimated its
size, you ended up letting it go? It wasn’t that the item was bad, it
just didn’t fit.

Some relationships in life are similar to that too. In the

beginning you overestimated the possibility that a certain somebody
would be the perfect fit for you. But when you become certain that he
or she is not suitable for you - they don’t share the same vision,
goals, and values - even after you’ve tried to accommodate the
person’s relative “size,” you accept the fact that you will be left with
no other choice but to let the person go.

It’s not that the person was bad, they just didn’t fit.

Letting go is not easy. For the clothing or accessory that didn’t

fit, it may have cost quite a bit of money to you, or you may have
thought to yourself, “Wow, I would’ve looked amazing in that.”
Unfortunately, it makes no sense to continue using it or to keep it.
 Letting go of a person is harder. Because you think to yourself,
“How the both of you would’ve made a great couple, a formidable
team.” You may have invested a lot of your time into the relationship,
but alas, you have no choice but to eventually part ways.

Some people are hurting because they had to let go. While
others are hurting because they insisted on using something which
clearly did not fit them and caused much discomfort and “blisters”.
As tough as it may be, the right decision has to be made in the end.

The Reason We Hold On

Very often, the reason we hold onto things is because we hold

the belief that we can somehow change it or change ourselves to get
accustomed and to adapt.

People who hold onto clothes that are too small tend to use it
as a motivation to get (or get back) to that size. They believe that
they can adjust their bodies to the required exact proportion, or they
have the skills and know-how to adjust the clothing to fit them.

And then there are some who hold on to people even though it
has not been a pleasant relationship, because they wholeheartedly
believe that they can change the other person. Even if all else fails,
they will somehow learn to adapt in fitting in instead. To me, that’s a
false dichotomy.
 First of all, I’ve always maintained that we can never truly
change people. Even in the Islamic belief, hidayah or guidance
comes only from God. We do our part to educate, to inform, to
encourage, but the end result is surrendered entirely for God to
decide.

Moreover, I’ve always held the view that change is possible.

Anybody can change. But not everybody necessarily wants to
change.

The Power Of Acknowledgement

Since I was a teenager, I’ve realised that there are just some
things that you will never be able to change. So what’s the point of
getting too upset? It began with simple ‘problems’ I faced. Such as,
having to not board the bus when I’m already late because it was
full. Or, dropping something I really wanted to eat on the floor. Or,
accidentally breaking something I just bought.

How I overcame the frustration that came out of such events

was by using the power of acknowledgment. It helped me to let go
and move on faster as compared to what I saw most people had to
endure.

To acknowledge here means, to take notice of something, to be

aware of it, and to accept it as it already is. To make this clearer, it
means that if I missed the bus, I know that there’s no way I can force
the bus to stay, to squeeze everyone in, and still get on board. It
means that when I dropped the food or broke the newly bought item
by accident, I know that I won’t be able to go back in time, so as to
avoid the mishaps from happening. The best thing to do is to just
accept it as it is, and move on.

Now I can vouch for the effectiveness of this method. It has

been a remarkable remedy for people who struggle to let go of
disappointments and frustrations. And some of my students have
said the same too. However, just like any other medication, it must
be taken in moderation. Any form of misuse will result in negative
side effects. So what could be the side effects of this remedy?

The two Cs - complacency and compromise. Complacency is

the attitude of, “Whatever happens, happens. I don’t care anymore”.
And compromise could be the fact that you’ve become fully adapted
into an unhealthy, harmful, and abusive relationship. This is an
example of wrong diagnosis, resulting in you taking the “Power of
Acknowledgement” pill for the wrong symptoms.

Friends, your situation is rarely the same as everyone else’s.

Though there can be a great deal of similarities. Always be open to
seeking professional help and advice to help you through your
unique situation.

Let the possibility of what your God can do for you excite you,
and supersede the disappointments of what people have failed to do
for you.

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 Chapter Nine
Leave Your Enemies To Him

I ’d like to share with you a story about a young lady who attended
one of my workshops. Let’s call her Sarah. She was in a brief
relationship with a guy whom she was introduced to by a mutual
friend. Not long after getting to know each other, the guy then
proceeded to ask her parents for her hand in marriage. Truth be told,
even though things moved pretty fast, she was delighted. He had the
qualifications, a solid career, and to top it all off, the looks too! Most
of the initial items on her checklist got ticked. And everything got off
to a great start.

But then, as she got to know more and more about him,
especially about his personal values and principles, she noticed that
there were a couple of them which she had trouble wrapping her
head around. Some were so glaringly in contrast to her own values
that they became impossible to simply brush off.

A Collision Of Values

In every relationship, there will always be peculiarities and

differences between the people involved. While some of those
differences can simply be discounted and pardoned, there are others
that you won’t be able to pass over that easily.

So Sarah started talking to him about the stuff which made her
uncomfortable. Unfortunately for her, from the start, he refused to
budge from where he stood. Every stand he made was justified in his
head with a reason that was sensible to him. But his reasons
however, were completely illogical and unacceptable to her. Clearly,
they had a problem. They were already engaged. And the big day
was imminent. Venue for their wedding ceremony had already been
booked, caterers reserved, and some of her closest friends and
family had already been informally invited to the event. So,
understandably she was concerned, and disappointed with how
things were unfolding.

Unfortunately, according to Sarah, it was about to get worse.

When the both of them couldn’t get past each others’ opposing
beliefs, they decided to call it quits. This decision broke her.
Nevertheless, she was aware that there were many other
complications along the way. So the guy brought his parents over to
her house to speak to her parents, with the intention of officially
calling off their wedding. In the midst of their conversation, she felt
that some of the things that was said about her and to her parents
were uncalled for and unnecessary. They were hard to swallow. So
now, not only did she had to deal with the pain and embarrassment
of the last-minute break-up, she also had to cope with the
outrageously harsh words and labels that her loving parents were
accused of in the end.
 Obviously, Sarah didn’t take this whole experience well. She
couldn’t erase the look on her parent’s faces on that fateful evening.
She didn’t want to deal with people questioning her about the
cancellation. So she went into hiding. Radically removing all social
media accounts, and staying away from all forms of social gatherings
and interactions as much as she could. She only ‘reappeared’ and
reconnected with friends again almost two years later. She admitted
going in and out of depression. Weeping for most of her days and
nights, losing a lot of weight in the process, especially during the
months when the wounds were still fresh. It caused her parents to
worry.

As part of her healing and recovery process, she decided to go

for Umrah with her family. She made bold prayers in front of the
Kaabah. Apart from asking for healing and the strength to move on,
she also asked to be given a greater purpose in life, something for
her to focus her mind and time on. She asked to be in a career that
she would grow in and love passionately. And the moment she got
back, she felt relief, peace, and a deep sense of tranquility that has
been evading her for a while. Sarah also saw some amazing
developments regarding her job prospects and future career. To her,
things began to fall into place quite miraculously, in ways that she
least expected.

A Deadly Trigger

Fast-forward to approximately 2 years after the marriage got

cancelled, she chanced upon the news that her ex-fiancé was about
to get married. This triggered something in her. She didn’t know
exactly how to deal with her emotions when she found out about it.
She had mixed feelings; some anger and resentment towards the
guy and his family were still present in her heart. But a voice inside
her head was louder than anything else. A part of her thought to
herself, “That lady could’ve been me.”

I know that for most of you reading this now, you’re probably
thinking, why in the world would she still want to have such thoughts
and feelings towards him? Especially after all that he’s put her family
through. Well, it’s complicated. But I will elaborate later on in the
book about the fact that love and hate are independently a powerful
force. And it’s not easy to explain it with words. And it’s even more
challenging to justify the logic behind the actions of someone in love,
and someone who has recently fallen out of love.

Not too long ago, in a brief conversation I had with Sarah, she
updated me about the guy again saying that he now has a child. And
that some close family members are still in contact with him, which
was how she knew. She was putting in a quick disclaimer before I
could accuse her for being a stalker! But she also added, that deep
down inside she wants to prove to him, someday, that just as how
he’s happily moved on, married, with kids - that she too has found
her happiness.

She was extremely adamant in wanting to prove that point. But

at the same time, when she realised that he had a daughter, she was
- to my surprise - also secretly hoping that he would eventually get to
feel the burden of raising a girl; through the responsibilities attached
to it. Almost as retribution for what her dad had to go through.

I was surprised because I thought she had let go. I asked

Sarah whey she was praying for that? To me, it didn’t seem very
nice, or necessary at all. She responded by saying that she felt like
he needed to learn his lesson someday, someway, somehow.

I’m going to have to stop the story there and share with you my
two thoughts and takeaways.

First: When We Think We’ve Let Go, But In

Reality We’ve Not.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that we’ve moved on just

because we no longer meet or talk to the person anymore on a daily
basis. Or that we’ve unfriended and unfollowed them from all our
social media accounts. But is that the best gauge for moving on?
What is the true measure of letting go?

A question I get asked often during my lectures is,

“How do we know if we’ve forgiven somebody, and have

completely moved on?”

My first response to that would be, “Don’t set the bar too high
lest it becomes unreachable.” What does “completely moved on”
supposed to mean, anyway? Be careful. Sometimes the things you
say may set you up for greater disappointments.

And after elaborating a bit more in response to that question, I

would end my reply by saying, “In the end, only you would know
whether you’ve forgiven or moved on. It will become apparent to you,
when you finally arrive.”

But during the process, here are some things to look at as a

yardstick to figure out where you are, and how much further you
need to go in order to get there.

Are you still interested to know about them?

Do you feel your blood boiling when you hear their name being
mentioned in a conversation?

Do you feel awkward when you bump into the person?

Are your emotions still at the mercy of your senses being

triggered by old memories?

Do you feel unhappy when someone tells you about the

person’s happiness?

Are you secretly stalking them?

Second: The Urge To ‘Teach Others A
Lesson’.

In Islam, the choice to avenge a wrongdoer is a valid one. It is

an option as long as the “retaliation” is equal or less than what was
done to you. But there are other options too. And they are: the
choice to be compensated and the choice to forgive the wrongdoer.
Why is forgiveness often overlooked?

Why do we live in a society which celebrates people for being

unforgiving? The tougher you are, the harder you are, the more
unforgiving you are - the more you are celebrated. People today are
celebrated for their anger and desire for vengeance. Men especially,
are intimidated to forgive. To forgive is perceived as a weakness, to
seek forgiveness, meek.

And why can’t we let God be the one to “teach our enemies a
lesson” instead? Wouldn’t He know the best lesson to give? The
best way to teach the lesson? And the best timing for it to happen?
This is part of the god complex problem that we’re all facing as
individuals. Trying to take matters into our own hands.

If your concern is, “wouldn’t it be less severe if we did it

ourselves than to leave it to God?” Not a chance! No matter how
‘light’ you think your ‘lesson’ to them would be, it is nowhere near the
level of compassion and mercy that God uses on His servants.

Contrary to what you would like to believe, you don’t get to

choose how a person’s quality of life will be in the future - just
because they appear to be at the mercy of your decisions. Leave the
lesson-teaching to Him. That would be the wisest move. And it would
be the most just.

Let it go.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Ten
Trust In His Perfect Timing

A nother major challenge that many people have is in getting over

the need to have things happen by their personal timeline.
Frankly, almost everybody has goals and targets which they set for
their future, with the aim to achieve those milestones that they deem
to be important in a timely manner. Fair enough.

In fact, I’d encourage goal-setting as long as we understand

the different factors that determine how and when things fall into
place. One recurring theme in this book that you would have noticed
by now is the crucial role your effort has in the journey towards
reaching your own destiny. Even though it is not the main thing, it is
still a key ingredient for things to happen.

Another equally important factor that you must never overlook

is your understanding on how God’s timing works. There is divine
wisdom in His decisions to bring things into reality, setting everything
in the chain of your life’s events to fall into place in proper motion,
and into their appropriate places.

Do you believe that God is The Most Wise? And do you trust
Him to always do the right thing?
 Therefore, do you then accept that the BEST thing will happen
for you at the most PERFECT time in your life?

The Timing Of God

One of the gaps I’ve noticed that’s still severely missing in our
lectures and sermons today is that many who talk about the promise
of God’s answers to our prayers fail to spend just as much time
talking about the timing of God.

And failure to address or talk about this matter will only lead to
frustration. Because the more we don’t understand how things work,
the more frustrated we become waiting for things to happen.

And the problem with some of the anger, pain, and chaos that
is felt in our lives today is a result of us wanting something [or many
things] to happen so badly, prematurely.

What are the potential harms of getting your hands on

something earlier than you’re supposed to. Would you give a two
year old child scissors? How about a knife? No? Well, why not? The
scissors would be useful for the child to open up a pack of his
favourite biscuits. The knife will come in handy for the little girl who
wants to cut and remove the skin off that apple that she wants.

As I’m writing this, my kids are aged 5, 3, and 1. And I’ve been
observing them closely, and reflecting even more on their behaviour
and reactions, trying to connect them with life’s greatest lessons.
There’s a lot that a 3 year old can teach you. You’d be surprised!

Whenever I deny them something they so desperately want,

the usual reaction I get is that they will scream in anger, throw a
tantrum, and cry loudly - sometimes for up to ten minutes, or they
sulk and turn away from me and go to my wife instead.

And then I said to myself, “Wow. Isn’t that how most adults
behave towards God too when we don’t get what we want, at our
timing?” We get angry and frustrated, and we throw our anger at
those around us. Some of us may cry uncontrollably, daily - for
weeks, or months. And then there are those, who sulk. They give up
asking from God altogether. Fatigue from asking and waiting sets in.
So they selfishly and arrogantly turn away from Him, to turn to some
other thing or someone else instead.

But then I thought to myself. If only my children knew how

much I loved them. And that love was and will forever be the main
reason why I deny them of the harmful things they ask for, as a way
of protecting them.

Between A Blessing And A Curse

My then 2-year old son used to like watching me whenever I

shave. I always tried to be discreet when I do it, as I don’t wish for
him to see where I keep my shaver and how I use it on my face.
 One good quality about him that I’ve noticed is that he’s an
extremely good observer. And he’ll figure out how to get something
done if he’s really determined to get it done. And so I fear the
moment when he finally figures out where to find it and how to use it
by himself in my absence - as he could unknowingly scrape his skin
off, trying to do what he saw me do.

I understand that the razor will one day be a blessing to him -

but isn’t it funny how something that could one day be a blessing to
you, could be a curse if you get it too soon?

The scissors and knife will be of benefit to them one day when
they’ve matured. But giving it to them now will only cause them
potential pain and suffering.

Let’s look at this through another example. More money NOW

may seem to solve all your problems and bring you all the happiness
you desire. But receiving more money before you’ve learned how to
manage it well may cause you to lose control of your life, or cause
you to lose your marriage, or cause you to be the target of someone
with envy that you won’t be able to defend yourself against this
person. Who knows what the potential harms and benefits will be?
That’s right. Only God knows.

The same goes with regards to marriage. You want to get

married now. Or at work. You want to get promoted to a leadership
role in your organisation now. Or with your family. You want to have a
child now. Or your business. You want your company to expand
globally now.
 You see, there is a blessing in every delay. The reason as to
why some prayers may not have been granted yet, could be due to
the wrong assumption of what we think is good for ourselves during
each stage of our lives. And our assumptions are generally flawed.

You’ve been asking for something that you thought was going
to bless you - but God knows better. Whenever He sees your
request as something that has potential to do more harm than good,
He denies. And by denying, He is actually giving.

God Loves You Enough To Be ‘Late’

Being delayed is a blessing, it happens so that you could be

better prepared for what’s to come. It’s a blessing when an expected
deadline isn’t met. To settle down. To make your first million. To get
into the university. To become a parent. It’s a blessing that things
didn’t happen sooner than you’d expect.

Delays are “downtimes” for you to utilise so that you could be

better prepared. Because ultimately God wants you to know that it is
not by what you do, but by what He says - that love, mercy, and
abundance will enter into your life. Kun, fayakoon - Be! And it
becomes.

And failure is part of your training

Loneliness is part of your training

 Rejection is part of your training

Disappointment is part of your training

You can’t learn to walk without tripping and falling

Because falling is what teaches you how to walk

You can’t learn how to love without disappointments. You can’t

learn gratitude without loss. You can’t learn to appreciate abundance
without lack. And you can’t learn to value companionship without
lonely nights.

Delays can be painful my friends, but they are certainly

blessings through and through. He loves you enough to be “late”.
Surrender to God, and keep the faith while waiting.

You Have An Appointment With Blessings

Waiting can make any person anxious. Waiting is an art. In

fact, anything that we don’t understand we just call it an art, don’t
we? When I’m about to go out with my wife, sometimes I wait in the
car for her, and sometimes I sit in the living room and wait.

I notice that in these two places I see myself reacting in two

different ways. When I’m in my car waiting, I notice that I feel edgier,
quicker. But I am a whole lot calmer when I’m in the living room at
home. Why is this so?
 My theory is that when we get to see what’s happening, and
when we are able to view the progress of how things are developing,
we feel much more assured. Even though something is not ready for
us yet, we know work is ongoing, and soon enough, we’ll get what
we’ve been waiting for.

I noticed that I tend to get a lot more frustrated when I’m

waiting in the car. This is because I don’t see her walking in and out
of the room, getting ready, preparing her handbag, putting on her
headscarf, etc. Time moves notably slower. It’s painful. I get it.
Waiting is hard!

However, many of us will be the first to acknowledge that

waiting on God can be a lot harder than waiting on people. Because
we can’t see any ‘progress’.

But what if I told you that you have an appointment with God’s
blessings. You may not be able to see what’s happening ‘behind the
curtain’, but the work is indeed well underway. A miracle is forming
just for you. It is not a matter of “if”, instead, it is a matter of “when”.

God always has perfect timing. He’s never too early, and has
never been late. When you meditate with the Quran and dzikrullaah
(remembrance of God), it’ll all be worth the wait.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Eleven
Between Giving Up and Knowing You've Had Enough

I feel blessed to have been able to meet with so many wonderful

people along the course of my work. As I help people let go of
their baggages, to grieve properly for their losses, and to move on in
their life with a renewed sense of purpose - I get the chance to meet
with individuals who share with me their unique and inspiring stories.

To give you an idea of the type of people and stories I’ve

listened to over the years, here is a glimpse to some of the issues
that are shared during my signature programmes:

A young man who truly wanted to turn his life around after
mixing with the wrong crowd. He was addicted to harmful
substances. His biggest regret? To deceive and disappoint his loving
parents and siblings.

A young single mom who has been repeatedly abused by her

partner. Her greatest pain is no longer the physical beating. She
said, “she’s become numb by it”. Instead, it was the day when her 5-
year old daughter was looking out for her and asking her if “she’s
OK”. That was her ultimate breaking point.
 A lady whose voice started to break and tremble immediately
upon speaking. This was how she opened her sharing. “Hi, my name
is… And today (the day of our workshop), was supposed to be the
happiest day of my life - my wedding day.” What infuriated her the
most? The fact that the guy who called off the wedding out of the
blue, refused to give her a clear reason why. Understandably, she
had a lot of trouble getting over it.

A guy and a lady, who came individually, but who were both
confused about their sexual identity and orientation. Their biggest
dilemma? Being extremely conflicted about wanting to do the right
thing, and yet having strong feelings and inclination towards people
of the same gender. Not knowing who to talk to. Not knowing if they
even should talk about it. The struggle is real.

A lady who lost her husband a week after giving birth to their
first child. She never properly grieved the loss, as she was “pulled”
from all sides (by the deceased husband’s family members)
demanding that she sells her house so that they can get their share
of inheritance. They do this while completely neglecting her situation,
her feelings, postpartum depression, and her tragic loss.

And many more.

Many of these individuals who came to my programmes were

on the verge of giving up. Or have at least contemplated it at some
point in the not-so-distant past. There is a fine line between holding
on and letting go. But as if that’s not complicated enough for the
person who finally mustered up the courage to let go, they wonder,
am I letting go because I’m giving up, or because I know I’ve had
enough. What’s the difference?

It depends. Giving up gives the impression that a person is

weak and easily deterred. It goes along with common expressions
such as “throwing in the towel”, and “raising the white flag”.
Conversely, knowing you’ve had enough implies a different
connotation altogether; of decisiveness, boldness, and strength.

Hardships can humble you, but it cannot break you unless you
let it.

To me, none of these matter as much. Are you concerned that

people will judge you when you choose to walk away? Or is the
dilemma purely internal?

If the ultimate reason of your surrendering is motivated by the

desire to leave behind something destructive, harmful, and non-
productive, then you should be happy because you’ve done yourself
a huge favour. Don’t allow the graveyard of your past to be the
foundation where you construct a new negative.

Turning A Potential Disadvantage Into An

Advantage

What if instead of allowing the quandary of “either or” to

destroy you, use both as an impetus towards a radical
transformation for your future self, and a brand new beginning?
 Think about it. Why can’t a person leave an abusive
relationship when they’ve endured physical beating? If things remain
the same, how many second chances are they expected to give?
There are physical, mental, and emotional motivations to walk away.

Now, before anybody misinterprets my advice, I am in no way

suggesting that we walk away from anything that doesn’t go our way.
Go through the painstaking process of deliberating on the pros and
cons of leaving and staying first. It won’t be fun. But it’ll all be worth it
in the end.

Remember, the best person to make a decision for your own

safety and sanity is you. In fact, it must be you. But sometimes you
can’t reach that conclusion on your own. You may need to speak to
friends, consult professional advisors and the likes. You have to do
some reading, attend programmes where they discuss the sort of
challenges you’re faced with. In the end, when you find yourself fully
enlightened with all the information you have, and at peace with your
heart and mind; to stay or to leave, all that’s left to do then is to
decide.

Your Heart’s Revealing Inclination

I’ve counselled hundreds of individuals/couples who were

seriously contemplating divorce. Oftentimes, within the first five
minutes of our first session, I could almost tell whether they were
tipping closer towards holding on or letting go. Usually, those who
are contemplating leaving in order that they may move forward in life
towards a goal (e.g. a better life, more fun and adventure) are more
likely to leave than those who are averting pain or potential
consequences (e.g. the need to flee from an unhealthy relationship).

If you find yourself in this position today, ask, “What’s there for
me to look forward to?” “What’s the one thing I need to walk away
from?” Perhaps it could shed some light on your decision-making
process.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Twelve
Listening with a Clean Heart

T oday we are bombarded with a million-and-one messages for

every single minute we are awake. From friends and family,
from work, from the media, from advertisers. This happens so
frequently that we begin to lose touch with the voice that is inside us.

Our thoughts are oftentimes blurred by all the distractions

around us. It becomes indistinct and nebulous.

Turning to your inner voice for guidance after praying to God

for direction may seem like a great idea. However, during troubled
times, it may be a difficult thing to do. With so much noise
surrounding you, your “vision” can get pretty clouded. You won’t be
able to think rationally, or see things from a clearer perspective. To
overcome this, you’ll need to declutter your heart with some spring
cleaning.

A clean heart is free from the external voices of what other

people think and say. This applies to both the critical voices as well
as the flattering compliments you have received over time. Because
both have the power to disrupt clarity. A clean heart is purified by
drowning all the negative low energy emotions with positive ones.
 Replace your defeated spirit with one that is driven to win.
Replace hopelessness with unshakeable confidence. Replace
fatigue and exhaustion with rejuvenation, high energy, and purpose.

Connecting With The Source

For us, the key does not lie in trying to figure out how to do
everything on our own. The key is to connect with THE SOURCE
(i.e. God Almighty), surrendering to the highest power.

We do not achieve that solely by trying harder. We achieve it by

also learning how to surrender and let God. And as we’ve learned
before, surrendering is not about giving up - it’s about letting go.
Letting go of how you think things should be. And instead, allowing
them to flow into your life exactly how and when they’re supposed to,
by His perfect timing and wisdom.

There is so much power in surrendering. Which man or woman

in the world wouldn’t mind being guided daily through each and
every step of their lives by The Omniscient, The Wisest, except the
one who is controlled by his or her own ego. If you don’t mind being
guided, then you will win. Let it go.

Your Instinctive Power

At this juncture, I would like to talk about the kind of guidance

that will eventually get you to a level of knowing exactly what you
need to do to get to where you intend to be.

That thing which you call as your ‘gut feel’, ‘instinct’, or

‘intuition’, is actually an instrument given to you by Allah. It’s an
internal GPS system which tells you where you are, and what you
need to do to reach your destination. My wife is much better with
directions and road names than I am. So I usually would depend on
her to guide me. So whenever I’m driving alone I would need the
GPS to show me the way. But sometimes, for some baffling
unexplainable reason, I would develop a strong urge to want to go
against the GPS’ advice. I don’t know why or where that yearning
comes from, I just feel at times like I kinda know a better way, or a
“shortcut”.

And I’m sure you won’t have to guess what would happen next.
I’d get lost. Sometimes for up to 30 minutes just trying to get back to
the path shown to me by the more knowledgeable GPS. Getting lost
leads to frustration, then anger, then resentment, then regret, and
then finally the humbling decision to drop my ego and follow the
voice that’s guiding me from that system once again. But it all started
from my refusal to obey, and my arrogance of thinking I knew better.

In order not to get lost and frustrated in life, we need to pay

more attention to our intuition and gut feel. Every day more than a
billion people ask God to “guide them to the straight path”. But when
He guides, many still choose to go the other way. Stop being a
know-it-all. Stay humble, and connect with The Source.
 Know that God has a plan for your life. Pray for the direction to
follow it. Ask for the patience to wait for it. And seek for the wisdom
to know when it finally arrives.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Thirteen
Moving Forward, With Faith

W hen I was growing up - probably between the age of 8 to 10 -

I remembered watching some old shows on TV (reruns from
the 60s or 70s).  One show in particular was called ‘Get Smart’. Do
any of you remember that show? To be honest, I can’t recall much
about the show, but one thing in particular that stood out for me was
the show’s memorable opening intro. It showcased the lead actor -
played by Don Adams - walking and entering one door after another
in a very secretive and highly secured fashion.

The door he stood in front of would only open after the door
behind him had closed. That was the only way he could move
forward and get to the end of the secured pathway. Interesting.

In the same way, I believe life is just like that. Most of us find
ourselves stuck in between because we wouldn’t allow the doors
behind us to close. Just like how the scene is in an enclosed and
highly secured area, Allah wants us to always be safe, secured and
protected too. He always has our best interests at heart.

Some of us tend to have the impression that all which needs to

be done is to wait for Allah to open up our doors for us; doors of
opportunities, doors of companionship, doors of forgiveness. But the
truth is, He may be waiting for us to make the first move. There could
have been people or events that may have hurt you tremendously in
the past, but friends, in order to move on to the wonderful things He
has in store for you, you need to consciously decide on closing the
doors behind you first - once and for all.

He is waiting on you to let go of the past hurts and pains, to

forgive your enemies, to shut the doors of vengeance and enmity
behind you, and only then can you start to expect new doors to open
up for you, filled with His wonderful blessings and favour.

Allah describes the pious people of whom paradise has been

specially prepared for them, by saying:

“Those who spend in prosperity and in adversity, who suppress anger, and  forgive
others, verily, Allah loves those who do good.” (Quran 3: 134)

My dear friends, if you’re serious about moving on, then today,

I challenge you to make a conscious decision. A decision to declare
that this will be the day you move on with your life once and for all,
letting go of all the negative things which have held you back in the
past, that have been keeping you from being your very best. Life is
too short to be holding on to your history. By not forgiving and letting
go of your past, you’re not hurting the people you have a grudge
against, you’re only causing more pain to yourself. 

 So move forward in the name of Allah. Believe in His

promises, and expect the best from yourself at all times. I am praying
that within this year, you’ll be able to move forward in life; your
career, and your relationships to a level where you never thought
was possible. Ameen.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Fourteen
People Pleaser

B eing in the field of da’wah, I frequently deliver public

talks, Friday sermons, appear on radio and television, and
sometimes write for the local newspaper. Alhamdulillah.
Occasionally, I also share some of my thoughts and ideas online via
sites like Facebook and Twitter. Doing this sort of work may seem
“glamourous” to some, as you would tend to get a lot of exposure,
attract increased attention, and more people end up knowing you
along the way.

But the truth of the matter is that fame and glamour are not the
main words I would use to describe the work I do. Da’is (preachers)
go through a lot of hardships and disappointments along the way
too. Some of which are known by the public, while many more are
kept private and remain personal to them.

We receive criticism regularly on a variety of things, such as,

what we deliver, how we deliver, the personal stands that we make
on certain issues, the causes we are fighting for, and at times even
by the way we dress! 
 Then at the end of every criticism, many of us will try to tweak
our style or approach in hopes that those who disliked us in the past,
will start to be more accepting of us or the message that we share
with them in the future. However, upon making those changes, we
realise that they may or may not still be pleased. Or, we end up
upsetting a different group of people as a result!

I see myself and my fellow compatriots (other Asatizah) as a

group of people who were chosen by God to perform the heavy yet
honourable task of spreading His message here on earth to our
fellow kind. All with the intention of bringing them to the path which is
most pleased by Allah. We may all be heading towards one
destination, but all of us are taking different forms of transportation
(a metaphor for our style and approach) to get there.

To continue with this metaphor, I would say that some

passengers prefer to fly to their destination, while others insist on
walking. Some like to take regular pit stops, while others prefer if it
were ongoing.

For the guides (the Asatizah) to please everyone is absolutely

impossible, as eventually some will choose to stay on board, while
the others will naturally make their exit or make a transit to another
‘ship’.  

For the Sake of Allah 

Only after I realised and fully accepted the reality that pleasing
others was never the right way to begin with, was I able to move on
better while carrying out the duty at hand.

 One of the many reasons we continue to get easily

disappointed in life is because we allow our hearts to deviate by
doing something noble with the wrong purpose and intention. It’s
called doing the right things for the wrong reasons. All the changes
we make to our approach in achieving something noble in life will
cause more distress especially when they are made with the
intention of pleasing people.

Here are some questions for our personal reflections that will
help us reignite and realign our purpose and intention:

Why do I pray?

Why do I attend religious classes?

Why do I share my knowledge with others?

Why do I dress modestly?

Why do I volunteer to help others?

Why do I preach my faith?

Who am I trying to impress?

The never-ending problem with wanting to please others is that

people constantly change and they will have different likings and
preferences. So the best solution for overcoming this is to realign all
our intentions for the sake of only pleasing Allah - lillaahi ta’aala.
 Just look at all of Allah’s most beloved Messengers and you’ll
see a similar pattern. All of them were carrying an important
message or duty. They were asked to deliver it to their people, but all
of them had their own set of challenges and adversaries. I’m not
sure if there was any one of them who did not have to go through
any major setback at all in their journey. Many of them were
condemned by their own people, some even by their closest family
members.

So friends, I’m suggesting that we relook into our hearts and

intentions, see what’s really bothering us and ask ourselves why
we’re doing what we’re doing. Hopefully, this will begin to strengthen
our resolve, toughen up our spirit and make us victorious in the eyes
of The Almighty - insyaAllah.

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 Chapter Fifteen
Don’t Surrender Your Power to Others

T he only way someone can hurt you is if you have given them
power over yourself. The power to control you means the power
to dictate your emotions, your mood-swings, your day. But how does
one actually ‘hand over’ this power to somebody else. I believe that
there are at least 3 ways this transfer of power could take place.

One:
When we submit ourselves out of love.

Two:
When we submit ourselves out of fear.

Three:
When we submit ourselves out of hate.

And for some of us, these three situations become phases that
we experience sequentially in one single relationship. In the
beginning, you notice how your happiness is often decided by the
presence of any communication or meeting with the person you have
feelings for. Did he call you? Did you see her today? Did he ask you
about your day?

And if these things are absent from your day, you will feel down
and unhappy. You find yourself dragging your feet to school or to
work, or feel totally uninterested to complete a task that you’re
supposed to get done. This is a sign that you’ve surrendered your
power to somebody you love.

The second category is the submission of power out of fear.

This may happen when you have serious doubts about the possible
continuity of a relationship that you treasure and cherish so much (in
reference to category one). When you have reason to believe that it
is under threat. This is the scariest of the three in my opinion.

Why? Because this is the sort of predicament where some

people desperately choose to stay in despite the fact that it is toxic,
unhealthy, and at times even abusive. They stay for a couple of
reasons. Because it’s ‘safe’, not in its literal sense, but rather
metaphorically. They fear the loss of certainty and consistency of
being in a relationship - something they’ve probably never had
before, therefore becoming an ideal situation in their mind that they
truly cherish.

Some stay because they see too much effort in having to ‘start
over’. Neither do they have the desire, nor the energy to begin the
entire process of building a new relationship from the ground up all
over again. As a result, they hold on tightly to the one thing they
know is certain; the relationship they’re in now, even though it is
potentially harmful and destructive for their future.

People who are in this category have their mental and

emotional stability at the mercy of the person they’re hanging on to
for dear life. They will stay even though they are the only ones giving
in the relationship, but does not receive anything back in return. And
they will be loyal even when they are ignored and disrespected time
and time again. If you’re in this category, talk to someone. You may
be in need of some serious help.

And finally, the third category of submission, when we

surrender our power over to somebody out of hate. This form of
submission takes place at the end of a relationship. It could be a
business partnership that turned sour, an engagement that broke off
at the eleventh hour, or a marriage that ended prematurely.
Whatever the type of relationship, if it ended because of something
that left at least one party feeling betrayed and hurt, the submission
will happen.

They go through every day thinking about the person.

Oftentimes not even wanting to. But therein lies the subconscious
submission of power. The person you so strongly detest, will be the
person who is going to have a stronghold in your heart and mind.
Like it or not, their face, their name, and the memories you have of
them will be the most prominent ones of all. The more you try to get
rid of them, the harder it gets for you to dispose of them. And let me
just offer a bit of perspective in this regard, which is:

The only reason you can’t get rid of the hate, is because deep
down inside - you still care. If you never cared from the start, it
wouldn’t have stayed this long.

In all three of these categories you will realise that none of

them suggested that power was forcefully snatched away from its
owner. Instead, the exchange was carried out willingly. You gave it
up, because you loved too much, or feared too much, or despised
somebody more than you should have.

So let go, and let God. Experience genuine peace in your life
when you learn how to love in moderation, fear within limits, and
hate within reason.

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 Chapter Sixteen
The Undeniable Power of Love And Hate

H ave you ever been in love? It doesn’t have to be to a person. It

could be love that you felt towards an idea or a dream. It could
be love that you had for a thing which you desperately wanted to
have and own. Whichever it may be, I’m certain that it was
something that constantly occupied your thoughts.

You think about the person you love all of the time. You
associate every song lyric you listen to, and every movie scene you
watch to the person you’re in love with. If you’re not together, you
think about the probability of bumping into the person as you’re
choosing what to wear to work each day, even though the chances
of that happening is closer to none. He or she is the final person you
think about before going to sleep, and the first person who enters
your mind the moment you open your eyes in the morning.

Simply put, love has immense power because it has the ability
to occupy your most powerful resource - your mind. Even if you tried
to think less of something or someone you love, you can’t. It’s
already been etched in your brain or tattooed to your heart as some
lovers poetically would say.
 But there is another powerful energy that we often overlook in
life. Some may argue that it is almost at equal strength with love.
Key word being “almost”. Among the hundreds of people who have
attended my Art of Letting Go and The Art of Letting God workshops,
many of them admit to having gone through a hard time trying to get
rid of the people they hate off of their minds.

They would say things like, “I can’t stand the sight of the
person!”, “I absolutely hate her for the rumours she spread about me
at work.”, “I will never be able to forgive him for the things he put me
through!” Such strong words, and such intense feelings. There is
then very little wonder as to why they must have found it hard to let
go. Ironically, the harder they hate, the more they see the faces of
the people they loathe, even while performing the most mundane of
tasks on a daily basis.

They mistakenly think that by intensifying hate, it will cause

those negative thoughts to disappear. Wrong. You can’t release what
you deeply hate. You can only release what you are willing to let go
through forgiveness. So if you feel burdened with the constant
replaying of old memories, the urge to always bring up the past in
your conversations, and the vulnerability of being reminded by all the
triggers that are around you, more hate will not help you. Instead,
what you need is love, mercy, and the faith to forgive.

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 Chapter Seventeen
Forgiveness

M uch of the material and programmes out there focus a lot on

the need for us to forgive others who have wronged us. But
what deserves equal attention is for us to also learn how to forgive
ourselves. Along the years, there have been things that we’ve said
or done which we’re not very proud of. We cringe each time we think
about them. And while most of these are minor issues, there are a
few that stick out like a sore thumb. You just can’t get it out of sight
and out of your mind.

One of my TAOLG (The Art of Letting Go) participants, let’s call

her Nat, came with a very unique situation that was causing her to
struggle in her effort to move on. It was affecting her career, her
relationships, and her happiness.

Like any other young people growing up, Nat had her own
dreams of pursuing a career in a field that she was really passionate
for. But her dad wanted her to be something else. Some of us would
be able to relate to being in this predicament. Yes? And so he kept
on pestering and asking her to apply for the type of jobs he wanted
her to have. And this began to cause some friction in their
relationship.
 They’ve always been extremely close with each other. And they
could probably sit and talk for hours about anything else under the
sun, except for her career options. She’s tried explaining to him on
several occasions that she has other interests, and that she had zero
passion for the profession and industry he wants her to penetrate
into. But he would usually shut her down with his own reasons, and
this would simply turn her off.

After a few tries, Nat gave up trying to convince her dad

altogether. However she was still determined to pursue her own
dreams and hopefully get the chance to prove to her dad that she
can be really good at it, and become a success one day despite
going a different way.

One day, God answered her prayers. Nat finally landed her
dream job. She said it was one of the most happiest moments of her
life! All those days of praying and the sleepless nights spent
studying; preparing herself for this very day, was totally worth it.

Time Waits For No Man

One day, her dad felt a sudden pain in his chest. He wasn’t
feeling too good, thought it wasn’t anything serious, but was
reluctantly brought to see the doctor. He came back with news that
was going to change her life - forever. After a thorough scan, the
doctors broke to him the news that he was diagnosed with cancer.
Her heart sank.
 And here she was thinking that she had all the time in the world
to work herself up towards glory, to prove to her dad that she can be
successful in her own way. Now, she’s suddenly running out of time,
faster than she had imagined. Before she could even deal with the
news properly, another bomb was dropped on her, her dad’s cancer
had spread to the final stage.

He was too weak, too tired to even talk about anything at all. At
times she was tempted to ask her dad if she should leave her current
job, if that would please him. But she was scared that the
conversation might put unnecessary weight on his ailing body. He’s
already going through a lot.

About a month later, he passed away. All her excitement about

the new job has now abruptly been depleted. A few weeks after the
passing of her dad, she was grappling with the unchanged reality of
the fact that her dad died without getting to see her become what he
dreamed her of becoming. To Nat, there is a very high chance that
her dad left this world unhappy, disappointed in her, and unfulfilled.
She was struggling to forgive herself.

Try putting yourself in Nat’s shoes. It feels almost impossible to

forgive yourself when you tie the condition for forgiveness to the
need for you to make amends with somebody who’s no longer
around. How do you even do that?

The Power Of Good Assumptions

 I told her that she needed to set herself free. It’s not worth
living life chained to the ground. Her main problem stems from her
assumption that her dad did not and would have never forgiven her
for her career choice. So, we had to help her shift her perspectives.

To help her achieve that goal, I asked her to focus on her

father’s love for her. To recall anything and everything wonderful and
sweet about her dad, to magnify her dad’s kind heart and good
persona. Then I asked her to reminisce the moments when her dad
praised her and complimented her for who she was, not for what she
did.

And this brought us to the point of asking a couple of questions

that led to her acknowledging a couple of truths about her dad which
were undeniably true.

1. He was a good man.

2. He loved her unconditionally.

3. He has a forgiving heart.

4. And if he knew how she’s always giving her best at her

current job, he would be eternally proud of her.

These truths brought her some much needed peace.

Something that has eluded her for quite a while now. At that
moment, all the participants at the workshop could nearly sense that
a huge burden had been lifted off of her shoulders. Her vibes and
energy had shifted. She no longer had to direct continuous anger
and resentment towards herself. She was finally free.
Rationalising, As A Means To Making Peace
With Your Past

As per Nat’s story above, one takeaway I got is that when we

do not have the opportunity to receive an apology from the person
who hurt us, or to personally say ‘sorry’ to the person we’ve
offended, or to find an answer as to why something happened to us
or why a person did what they did - we need to leverage on the
method of rationalising.

Before we go there, a few basic principles and philosophies

relating to forgiveness must be shared first.

1. The need to know the full and exact reasons as to why

somebody did something to you is not a prerequisite to your
forgiveness

2. Your forgiveness for another person’s wrongful actions does

not make them right, or free them from the need to be
accountable

3. Unforgiveness only works to hurt you, not the perpetrator

4. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself

Please note that our true enemy - the devil - only seeks to
create dissent and disharmony in our relationships. They will whisper
into your heart (logical) reason after reason to help you in justifying
why not forgiving is the best decision for you to hold on to. Your
refusal to pardon others will leave them looking on with glee and
delight.
 Another contributing factor to take notice of is the ego. It seeks
justice. Its main purpose is to think of the self, and seeks to defend
“reputation,” “face value,” “self-worth,” through unjustifiable means
that are more damaging in the long term.

Rationalising helps you get over the line. This is the process of
trying to make sense of the wrong that somebody did to you by trying
to understand the background and a little bit about the person’s past
or upbringing. You are not required to have all the information in your
fingertips. You need to only assume the reasons if you have none.
This is part of husnus-dzonn, having a good assumption of the
person’s motives for their actions.

You do not need to talk about this publicly, or share your

assumptions with friends or strangers. You only need to keep this to
yourself. It’s meant for you, not for others.

The Gift Of Goodbye

When people can walk away from you, let them walk.

You need to know when a person’s part in your life is over.

Nothing is an accident. Accept it as the Will of God. People leave
you because their destiny is not tied to yours. It doesn’t mean that
they are a bad person. It just means that their time is over.

When one source of negativity in your life leaves, don’t be

surprised when other lesser known negative sources start to appear
and eventually begin to take their leave too. One by one, they will be
revealed to you, in one way or another. Whether explicitly or subtly,
they will all go away. This is the start of your journey towards
discovering the wisdom behind why everything happened.

You can expect to be hurt in the process of discovering the

revelation of these hidden truths, but failure to realise the connection
between all of them will result in the delay or failure to get over all
the drama swiftly, and move on with your life towards your destiny.

One day, you will realise that no pain is worth dwelling on,
especially the ones which were hoarding all the negativity in your life.
And also because, life goes on, as it always has been, and as it will
continue to do.

Everything in your life needs space. In order for new blessings

to arrive, old baggages need to make way.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you agree with the other

person. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are right either. It
simply means that we have too many things in front of us, to allow
the things that are behind us to hold us back.

God Wants To Use You

I have always encouraged my students and audiences

whenever I speak, to never back away from opportunities to help
others who are struggling, by making a positive difference in their
lives. There are a lot of people out there who need help and are
desperately searching for a sign - some divine intervention if I may -
on how to correct their wrongs, on why they should hold on, and on
how to get back onto the path of Allah’s mercy and pleasure.  

 And as a response, one of the most common lines I hear are:

“But I’m not good enough” or,  

“But I’m not pious or religious enough” or,

“Help others? I’m the one who needs it more!”

 My immediate response usually would be, “Well if you won’t do

it, then who will?”  

 We shouldn’t place ALL of the responsibilities on the shoulders

of our scholars or other professionals to do this work. In the first
place, they won’t have enough resources to extend their help to
everyone who’s in need. Moreover, giving da’wah and moral support
is already a given expectation others have towards them, anyway.  

One sure thing I’ve learned is that sometimes God’s guidance

and interventions come from the most unlikely sources.

 If we think that we’re not good enough, or we believe that

we’re just not smart enough or not qualified to do any of the work
which He wants us to do, and this is due to the fact that we’ve done
too much wrong in the past, then I say, we do not know our Creator
well enough.
  Let’s look at our father, Prophet Adam (peace be upon him),
he fell for the manipulative persuasions of Iblees and invoked Allah’s
wrath. He was eventually cast out form Paradise for that sin. But
soon after, he had high remorse for his mistake and then repented
for his sins, eventually becoming the first of Allah’s chosen
Messengers to humanity. 

And how about Prophet Jonah (peace be upon him)? We all

know the story of him being swallowed by a large fish. At the
beginning, he was commanded by Allah s.w.t. to preach to the
people of his nation. But after much rejection, despite his repeated
attempts, he became demoralised, left his people, while altogether
disregarding his main duty. Long story short, when he was inside the
fish’s belly, he started repenting to Allah continuously for selfishly
neglecting his main responsibilities (pun not intended). In the end, by
Allah’s grace and mercy, he was released and returned back to his
mission to help many others by finishing off what God had ultimately
intended for him to do.   

But that’s not all, friends. If we were to study the lives of some
of the most devoted Companions of our Prophet (may Allah be
pleased with them) during pre-Islam, we’ll see this truth to be there
as well. That the most significant work, will be done by the most
unlikely of people.  

Quite a number of these Companions who were promised a

free pass into Allah’s glorious Paradise, were in their past, idol
worshipers, gamblers, drunks, fornicators, oppressors of the poor,
and murderers of young children.  
 Now I’m pretty confident that of all the things listed above, none
of us have managed to squeeze in all of them in one lifetime,
correct? Yes, repentance is a must. But we must also remember to
be grateful that we have not ended up doing all of the above as
some others may have.     

One notable Companion worth mentioning here is Sayyiduna

Umar (may Allah be pleased with him). He who was once the man
who opposed Islam the strongest, became the man who spread
Islam the widest! According to historians, during his 10 year reign as
Khalifah, Islam spread to as much as 3/5 of the world, masyaAllah! 

Friends, my point here is, that no matter what you’ve gone

through or have done in the past, no matter how inferior you feel
about yourself, God has a plan for you. He wants to use you for the
betterment of yourself and others around you. Take this message not
just as an Amanah (a responsibility), but take this also in your stride
as an honour from Him to you.

 Remember, God is always more prepared to forgive you than

you are to forgive yourself. Today, once and for all, forgive yourself,
be in service to The Almighty, and start making a difference, in the
name of your Creator.

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 Chapter Eighteen
New Beginnings

T hroughout life, humans go through different phases. And at the

end of every phase, it marks the beginning of a new one.
Personally, I’ve always believed that Ramadhan provides us with a
grand opportunity to have a new beginning. And I also believe that
Ramadhan can be a far greater motivator for us to make (and
commit to) our resolutions than in the much celebrated New Year.

Many people I know find it hard to commit to change because

they hold on to their past too tightly. Sometimes it almost implies as if
they are resisting to open up their hearts and minds for a new
change and a new beginning. Allah is ready to help us make that
necessary change for our own benefit, but He wants us to be the one
making the first move. Because ultimately, change, comes from
within. He says:

“Verily, never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it
themselves (with their own souls)” (Quran 13: 11)

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s

ending. And it’s important for you to realise that nothing just
happens. Every disappointment, every enemy, every fight, every
rejection, every failure, and every ending happened for a reason. A
good reason. And every single step was necessary. To mould you
into the person you are today; your perspectives, your wisdom, and
your collective experiences.

You need to hold on to the belief that everything happens for

you, not against you. Trust and acceptance are required in order to
help you to let go and move on with your life.

“Say, “Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our
protector.” And upon Allah let the believers rely.” (Quran 9: 51)

Friends, are you ready for a new beginning? This is the time to
start believing for a brand new chapter in your life. If your ancestors
have had a history of serious illnesses, pray and believe that Allah
will bless you and your children with health and longevity. If your
parents’ marriage had ended in separation and divorce, pray and
believe that He will grant your marriage the blessings of love and
endurance. If your lineage has had a long history of lack and poverty,
pray and believe that for you and your family, He will bless you
generously with wealth, gratitude and abundance.

This is the time you draw a line on the sand and say, “All the
negativity ends here”. Start seeing a new horizon. Start believing in
greater possibilities. And know that God is by your side, listening to
every prayer you make to Him.

Each new day, deserves a brand new beginning. Let go of

yesterday’s hurts, begin the day in the name of Allah. Just as He
magnificently heals all of our physical wounds, trust in Him to
supernaturally heal our emotional and spiritual wounds too.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter Nineteen
Bordering on Despair: When Things Are Falling Apart

Y ears ago, how I would evaluate my faith was to look at how

much blessings I received, or how many miracles I saw
happening in my life. 

But today, that wouldn’t be how I would approach it at all.

Today, I would evaluate my faith through the dry times. When I saw
absolutely nothing. And my ability to stabilise myself through
droughts is how I can authenticate, the legitimacy of my faith.

Why do I say this? Because I don’t need faith when I’ve

attained what I was hoping for. My faith is not proven when I get
what I had hoped for. Instead, it is proven while I wait for the thing I
had hoped for, to arrive.

Just because you’re in an unpleasant predicament today,

doesn’t mean that you have to stay in that predicament forever. Be
careful, because if you’re not, you will find yourself accepting a
momentary predicament as a permanent location when it should
have been a temporary address. These are what detours are all
about in life. It happens to everybody.
 (1) It is true that you may see some people in sickness
today, but they are not meant to stay in sickness.

(2) It is true that you may see some people incarcerated, but
they are not meant to stay imprisoned for long.

(3) It is true that you may have heard about some people
who have failed in their business or career, but they’re not
meant to stay defeated forever.

(4) It is true that you may see some people single and
lonely, but they’re not meant to stay that way much longer.

This is exactly the reason as to why we should stop judging

people on the basis of where they are. Because you can’t tell where
a person is going by looking at where they are today. Remind
yourself, “It’s not what it looks like.”

There’s only so much that another man or woman can help you
with your lack and your problems. But with God, everything is
possible. So turn to Him. Because He owns every seed underneath
the grounds that we step on each day, He directs every droplet of
rain that falls onto our heads, and He opens up the clouds for every
ray of sunlight that shines brightly onto the face of the earth. It is He
whom we should depend on more than anyone. The key to opening
up the riches of the heavens and the earth, lies in the perfection of
our faith towards the One who owns them.

More than having faith to guide us when everything is well, we

need faith to sustain us when everything is falling apart.
 Your future has more to offer than your past has to burden you.
The reason you made it to this new day, despite the scars, despite
the failures, despite the illnesses, is because God still has a plan for
your life. Keep your head up high. And keep on believing.

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 Chapter Twenty
Healing: Picking Up Your Broken Pieces from the Ground

I n the past, I’ve had at least two people who came confiding in me
on how they had recently found out from the people whom they
loved most that they were a complete and utter mistake.

One guy told me a few years back about how he found out, that
from among all of his siblings, his parents never actually planned to
have him. The ‘truth’ according to him, hurt so badly that it left a
permanent scar inside him. Now this news changed him as a person.
Prior to that, he has always known to be a cheery and happy-go-
lucky person to be around. But things took a drastic turn. He
changed and instead became somebody who always seemed
dejected, uninspired, and he even stopped smiling altogether.

As a result, he lived his whole life carrying a negative label

wherever he went. He is convinced beyond doubt that he was born a
mistake, that his presence on earth was an accident, and that all the
love he had received growing up were in fact merely an act; a facade
that was meant to cover up the real feelings his parents had towards
him. He now goes through life playing second fiddle to everything
and everyone. He lives a mediocre life, holding himself back from
personal growth, progress, and fulfilment.
A Life Of Comparisons

Another was a lady in her mid-20s who called me expressing

how heartbroken she was when her father - in the midst of anger -
blurted out as to how he was extremely ashamed and disappointed
that they did not have a son - which was what they had been hoping
for - and instead had to settle for her, a daughter.

Upon hearing those words, her heart immediately dropped.

She was devastated. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. She
was the younger of two sisters. And all her life she’s been
independent, being made to understand that she needed to support
herself as quickly as possible due to the financial constraints her
family was having. This affected her focus and ultimately her results
during secondary school suffered.

She started working part-time very early in her life - not just to
support herself, but also to chip in and help stabilise the family’s
finances. It had always been tough for her growing up, especially
seeing how her elder sister was constantly the apple of her parents’
eyes even though she barely contributed to anything.

Her father, upon realising how hurt she was by the cold
shoulder she’s been giving him for a few weeks, then apologised to
her, repeatedly. But she told me how it was impossible after that
incident for her to forgive him, let alone look at him the same way
ever again.
 One of the hardest things the both of them have had to do
since those events took place, was to look at everyone else’s life and
try to be genuinely happy for them. Their eyes started to look at the
joyousness of others’ lives with a reflection of envy. Their thoughts
began to come up with demoralising conclusions such as how unfair
life is - that everyone else has the ‘perfect family’ except for them. In
short, they were living a life of never-ending comparisons.

Those are real incidents. Painful truths none of us would ever

want to be confronted with, especially coming from the people whom
we love most. Both individuals took the news to heart, their lives
came crashing down, and they have since labelled themselves as an
unfortunate ‘mistake’.

Well, I’d like to impart onto you what I believe is the REAL
truth. Even though your parents may have told you that you were a
mistake, that you were not what they truly wanted, or this could even
be your spouse who is expressing the same sentiments. Believe me
when I say that Allah NEVER makes a mistake - He never has, and
He never will. Your birth was planned from the beginning of time -
aeons before your parents met each other. Your presence here on
earth is attached strongly with a divine purpose. Even though you
don’t feel it or think it, perhaps you are meant to be a blessing to
everyone you come into contact with. Start holding on to the truths
according to Allah’s words.

Release the negative labels others have given you. “A

mistake”, “an accident”, “an embarrassment”. Choose to wear His
divine labels, not the false ones others have given you. Let us decide
once and for all to stop living a life of comparisons. God made you
unique, different and distinct from everyone else for a reason. So
let’s start living our lives with purpose!

The best healing comes from knowing that the ones who care
so much about your negative past won’t matter. And the ones who
matter won’t care.

Mending Your Broken Heart Through

Remembrance

I’d like you to place your right hand on to your chest, centrally.
Choose a dzikr that you love. Any one of the Beautiful 99 Names of
Allah could be a list that you may refer to. Look up their meanings.
Choose a few that you love and can connect with. And read gently
with your palm resting lightly on your chest. You don’t have to take
notice of how many times you’re repeating it. The goal is to just read.

When you’re feeling anxious, or when you sense a panic attack

coming, take a break. Do this exercise with your eyes closed. Take
deep breaths in between each one. There’s no need to rush. Calm
down and keep reading. Absorb the feeling of peace and tranquility.

“And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He
knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no
grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it
is [written] in a clear record.” (Quran 6: 59)
 Find peace in knowing that He knows what you’re going
through. And He is aware of everything that has ever happened to
you. He is making things happen for you without your knowledge.

Those who leave everything in God’s hands, will eventually see

God’s hands in everything.

God Never Sleeps

God never sleeps. He never slumbers. He’s always in complete

control. He knows where you are. And He knows what you’ve been
through. And He knows what has happened to you. And He knows
who walked out and left you. And He knows who betrayed you. And
He knows who assaulted you. And He knows who molested you.
And He knows who rejected you. And He knows who disrespected
you. And He knows the people who took advantage of you. And He
knows about the health of your child.

Understand that He is All-Knowing. Not a single thing escapes

His knowledge. And realise that nothing in your life just happens.
There’s always a greater wisdom behind every event. Remember
Him always, and He’ll remember you in a bigger way. You’ve only got
to trust that they happen for your own good.

When There’s Nowhere Else To Go, Run To

Him
 In a famous Hadith Qudsi, our beloved Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) said, that Allah (all glory be unto Him) says:

“I am near to the thought of my servant as he thinks about Me. And I am with him as
he remembers Me. And if he remembers me in his heart, then I shall remember him the
same. And if he remembers me in assembly, then I shall remember him in assembly -
better than his remembrance (of Me). And if he draws near Me by the span of a palm, I
draw near him by the cubit. And if he draws near Me by the cubit, I will draw near him
by the space covered by two hands. And if he walk towards me - I rush towards him.”
[Narrated by Imam Muslim]

Friends, sometimes when times are hard, and you have no one
else to turn to, simply walk to Allah for comfort. Run to Him for a
warm and loving embrace. Pursue Him like a long lost lover. Confide
in Him like you would to a trusted and well-meaning confidant.
Because He has assured us, that as we remember Him, He will
remember us even more.

And if we were to take some steps forward towards Him, He

goes to us running. Now, imagine how fast He would embrace us, if
we were to eagerly and persistently chase after Him. Let’s put on our
running shoes! 

So, what are you waiting for?

“Flee to Allah…” (Quran 51: 50) 

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 Chapter Twenty One
From Broken To Whole: Reaching Full Circle

D o you know what it’s like whenever a person is feeling

reserved, defensive, and unwilling to interact? They would
begin to cross their arms. They’re either consciously or
subconsciously trying to communicate their discomfort with the
predicament that they’re in. In fact, I know some people who love to
cross their arms whenever they’re around people. They may always
feel threatened or unsafe in public settings, and so they’re more
comfortable doing so.

In the story of Prophet Joseph (peace be upon him), he was

jailed for a crime he didn’t commit. It was unfair. Justice seemed to
not have been on his side. And this was after his brothers had gotten
rid of him, followed by the time when he was sold in the market as a
slave. It was one setback after another.

While in prison, he shared the cell with two other men. Both of
them knew that Joseph had this amazing ability to interpret dreams.
So they asked him if he could help them in this matter. Of course he
gladly agreed to help. When one of the two men was finally released,
Yusuf kindly asked if he could return the favour by asking the king to
release him. But Allah says in the Quran that the devil caused the
man to forget all about him. And as a result of that, Joseph had to
stay in prison for several more years according to some Tafseer
scholars.

Imagine if you were in his shoes. Most of us would have been

enraged and livid for the fact that our siblings tried to do us wrong
and the people whom we have helped, totally forgot about us.
Especially during times when we really could use some help. But
Prophet Joseph forgave the the man and he forgave in his heart for
what his elder siblings did to him.

And on one fine day, when he was finally called on to interpret

the dream of the king of Egypt, with Allah’s grace, he did such a
brilliant job, that he was eventually given a leadership position as
one of Egypt’s top ministers. By forgiving, God allowed him to step
up to the plate and deliver a remarkable task. Only God can take a
man from being a slave to a position of high leadership in the way
that He allowed it to happen for Joseph (peace be upon him).

Friends, I know that there are certain people who can get really
comfortable for the wrong reasons. Some people can get
comfortable with unforgiveness and vengeance. But let’s not be like
them. Let’s not stoop so low and go to their level.

In these closing statements, I’d like to call on you to be the

bigger person. Let’s rise higher than ever before. Today, I’m asking
you to simply make an attempt, to put your egos aside for a moment,
and try to forgive. Uncross your arms. Uncross your minds. And
uncross your hearts. May Allah forgive us for all the wrong we’ve
done, in return for our efforts in pardoning those who have hurt us so
badly in the past.

Let go, let God, and surrender all your broken pieces to Him,
one prayer at a time.

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 About The Author

Mizi Wahid
Muhammad Tarmizi Bin Abdul Wahid is the
CEO of Safinah Institute, an Islamic education
centre which was started in Singapore in 2009.
It conducts Islamic courses in English for all
age groups engaging the students with questions, sharings and discussions.

Safinah also conducts camps for teens and children as well as spiritual
retreats for adults on a regular basis which are led by Tarmizi.

He is a graduate of the Al-Azhar University in Cairo, majoring in Islamic

Law. Upon graduation, he served at the Islamic Religious Council of
Singapore in the Office of the Mufti department for two and a half years
before embarking on an entrepreneurial journey. He has been featured on
local television, interviewed on local radio stations and have also written
numerous articles for various publications.

His passion in life is to inspire people through the words of the Quran and
Sunnah via his talks and writings. He enjoys traveling and spending quality
time with his family. He resides in the North-Eastern side of sunny
Singapore with wife, Fadhilah. They are blessed with four beautiful
children.

Follow the author at:-

Facebook: Mizi Wahid

Instagram: MiziWahid

Twitter: Mizi_Wahid
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 Ustaz Mizi Wahid Spiritual Book
Collection

1. Call Upon Him: 21 Steps To Strengthen Out Trust In Allah

This book is written with the sole intention to inspire Muslims to have
unquestionable faith in the Most Generous Lord, Allah s.w.t. through
the supplications they make to Him. This book hopes to deliver
encouragement and support for those who have been knocking on
heaven’s doors but have yet to get a response or have been
disappointed with the answers they have received so far.

In this book, tips are written on the recommended times and

methods, encouragement is given to stay in faith throughout the long
wait and selected supplications are written to keep us connected to
Allah s.w.t. through constant remembrance and prayer.

 2. You Are Loved: 7

Things To Remember
When You Are
Broken, Left Out And
Abandoned

It has become harder

to love ourselves each
day, especially when
all we see are perfectly curated posts of other people’s happiness on
social media. We begin to fall into a downward spiral of thoughts
dominated by self-hate and insecurities. Our broken souls feel we
are undeserving of love and affection.

In this book, he explores the concept of love and its impact on our
lives. ‘You Are Loved’ is not just emotionally inspiring but also
spiritually empowering— it is the companion that we all need as we
try to find our way back to the real meaning of love.

Grab our books at:

www.imanshoppe.com

Or visit us at IMAN Shoppe Bookstore:

8G, Jalan Dagang SB 4/2, Taman Sungai Besi Indah, 43300 Seri
Kembangan, Selangor.

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