Topic 1: Conversation

Presentation of Contents

We engage in conversation as learners, as professionals, and in social

settings. We build, shape, and grow our knowledge, understandings, and
experiences through conversation. As lifelong learners, conversation both
in formal and informal setting provides us the opportunity to exercise
thinking, creativity, and problem solving.

The ability to effectively engage in conversation is developed through a

knowledge and skill set.

Importance of Conversation

Conversations are key to language development, the exchange thoughts

and ideas and listening to each other. Hence, its importance is always
taken at ahigh sense. It is something integrated in all parts of our lives.

a. Academics
-Communication skills are tied to academic success.
-Students who are good at speaking perform better not only in the
English classroom but also in the content areas and other areas of
learning.
b. Professional
-Desired communication skills vary from one care er to another. Being
able to communicate leads to a harmonious relationship within the
organization.
c. Personal
-The skills to talk with fluency and write with efficiency lead to a
person’s achievement of his aspirations.
 d. Civic
- One cannot live alone. So being able to blend with the community
is a satisfying endeavor. This can only be done when a person can
communicate his/her ideas with different people coming from
different backgrounds in the community.

10 Rules of a Great Conversationalist

Are you a good conversationalist? What makes someone a good

conversationalist?

Here are ten (10) essential rules:

1. Be genuinely interested in the person. Who is this person? What’s on his/her mind?
What does he/she enjoy doing? What motivates him/her in life? These are the
questions I have for every single person I meet. Since people are part of my life
purpose (to help others achieve their highest potential), my genuine interest in
people, from who they are to what they do, comes naturally.

Having a genuine interest, not an artificial one, is essential to a great conversation.

So have a genuine interest in everyone you speak to. If you are not interested in
the other person, then why speak to him/her to begin with? Move on to someone
you really want to talk to. Life is too short to be spent doing things you don’t like.

2. Focus on the positive.

Go for the positive topics. This means rather than talk about past grievances,
discuss future goals. Rather than talk about the coffee that spilled on your table
this morning, talk about the movie you look forward to watching later this evening.
It’s okay to talk about “negative” topics (topics that trigger negative emotions)
once in a while, but only when you feel it is okay with the other party and when it
has a specific purpose (such as to get to know the other person better or to bond
with him/her).

During your conversations, adopt a forward-thinking mentality. Less complaining,

more solutions. Less judgment, more empathy. Doing the latter will make you a
 more enjoyable person to speak to. Doing the former will turn you into an energy
vampire.

3. Converse, not debate (or argue)

A conversation should be an avenue where opinions are aired, not a

battleground to pit one’s stance against another. Chat, discuss, and trash out
ideas, but do so amiably. There’s no need to have a conclusion or agreement
point in every discussion; if a convergence has to be met for every discussion
point, the conversation becomes very draining. Allow things to be left open if a
common point can’t be achieved.

4. Respect. Don’t impose, criticize, or judge.

Respect each other’s point of view. It’s fine to express your opinion, but don’t
force it on them. Respect each other’s space — don’t encroach on the person’s
privacy unless you guys already know each other way. Respect each other’s
personal choices — don’t criticize or judge. To do the opposite in each instance
would be to impose yourself on others when it isn’t your place to do so.
Remember, everyone has the right to be him/herself, just as you have the right to
be yourself.

5. Put the person in his/her best light.

Always look for ways to make the person look good. Give credit where credit is
due. Recognize talent where you see it. Praise where appropriate. Allow the
person to shine in his/her own light. A lot of people don’t recognize their personal
ability and it’s up to you to help them do that. Be their guide; be their conduit to
love.

6. Embrace differences while building on commonalities.

Everyone is different. At the same time, there are always commonalities between
people. Embrace the differences. They make each of us unique. Agree to
disagree if there are clashes in ideas. As you talk to the other person, look for
commonalities between you and him/her. Once you find a common link, build
on that. Use that as a way to learn more about him/her, which will help you find
new commonalities that you can further build on.

7. Be true to yourself.

Your best asset is your true self. Embrace it and let it shine. Don’t cover it up. It’d
be pretty boring if all you do is mime the other person’s words during a
conversation; there wouldn’t be anything to discuss at all! Be ready to share your
 real thoughts and opinions (not in a combative manner though — see #3). Be
proud of what you stand for and be ready to let others know the real you.

8. 50-50 sharing.

I always think that a great conversation should consist of equal sharing by both
parties. It may be 40-60 or 60-40 depending on the circumstances, but both
parties should have equal opportunities to share and contribute to the
conversation.

This means, be sensitive enough to pose questions to the other person if you have
been talking for a while (see #9). It also means that you should take the initiative
to share more about yourself if the other person has been sharing for the most
part. Just because the person doesn’t ask you questions doesn’t mean you can’t
share; sometimes people don’t ask questions because it is not in their culture to
do so, or because they think it may be invasive.

9. Ask purposeful questions.

Questions elicit answers. The kind of questions you ask will steer the direction of
the conversation. To have a meaningful conversation with the other person, ask
meaningful questions. Choose questions like, “What drives you in life?”, “What are
your goals for this year?” and “What inspired you to make this change?”, over
“What did you do yesterday?” and “What are you going to do later?”

Some people may not be ready to think about conscious questions and that’s
fine. Start off with simple, everyday questions as you build a rapport with him/her.
Then, get to know him/her better through deeper questions, when you think
he/she is ready to share.

10. Give and take.

Sometimes people say pretty weird stuff during conversations. For example, a
critical comment here and there, a distasteful remark, a bad joke. Don’t judge
them for those comments. Give them the benefit of doubt (unless clearly proven
otherwise). I myself make random oddball comments sometimes which leave me
wondering why I even did that. Usually, I just laugh or shrug it off; it makes for funny
conversation banter.
 Topic 2: Informal/Formal Discussion

Presentation of Contents

Formal communication is communication through pre-defined channels set by

organizations. They are typically conveyed from top leadership to various
departments that funnels down to lower-level employees. It is backed by
organizational procedure, and it is necessary to fulfill the goals of the
organization.

Informal communication is more relational than formal. It is not backed by any

pre-determined channels and can happen anywhere within the organization.
The primary goal of this messaging is to preserve and establish relationships with
colleagues and superiors and subordinates. Since it is not defined by any
channels, messaging moves a lot faster, but it is without any paper trail or
official documentation.

Formal and informal language serve different purposes.

Formal language does not use colloquialisms, contractions or first-person

pronouns such as 'I' or 'We'.

Informal language is more casual and spontaneous. It is used when

communicating with friends or family either in writing or in conversation.