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“But where are the fish?" the Canadian ventured to observe. "I don't see any fish!"

"Why would you care, Ned my friend?" Conseil replied. "Since you have no knowledge of them."

"Me? A fisherman!" Ned Land exclaimed.

And on this subject a dispute arose between the two friends, since both were knowledgeable about fish,
but from totally different standpoints.

Everyone knows that fish make up the fourth and last class in the vertebrate branch. They have been
quite aptly defined as: "cold-blooded vertebrates with a double circulatory system, breathing through
gills, and designed to live in water." They consist of two distinct series: the series of bony fish, in other
words, those whose spines have vertebrae made of bone; and cartilaginous fish, in other words, those
whose spines have vertebrae made of cartilage.

Possibly the Canadian was familiar with this distinction, but Conseil knew far more about it; and since
he and Ned were now fast friends, he just had to show off. So he told the harpooner:

"Ned my friend, you're a slayer of fish, a highly skilled fisherman. You've caught a large number of
these fascinating animals. But I'll bet you don't know how they're classified."

"Sure I do," the harpooner replied in all seriousness. "They're classified into fish we eat and fish we
don't eat!"

"Spoken like a true glutton," Conseil replied. "But tell me, are you familiar with the differences
between bony fish and cartilaginous fish?"

"Just maybe, Conseil."

"And how about the subdivisions of these two large classes?"

"I haven't the foggiest notion," the Canadian replied.

"All right, listen and learn, Ned my friend!

Bony fish are subdivided into six orders.

Primo, the acanthopterygians, whose upper jaw is fully formed and free-moving, and whose gills take
the shape of a comb. This order consists of fifteen families, in other words, three-quarters of all known
fish. Example: the common perch."

"Pretty fair eating," Ned Land replied.

"Secundo," Conseil went on, "the abdominals, whose pelvic fins hang under the abdomen to the rear of
the pectorals but aren't attached to the shoulder bone, an order that's divided into five families and
makes up the great majority of freshwater fish. Examples: carp, pike."
"Ugh!" the Canadian put in with distinct scorn. "You can keep the freshwater fish!"
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"Tertio," Conseil said, "the subbrachians, whose pelvic fins are attached under the pectorals and hang
directly from the shoulder bone. This order contains four families. Examples: flatfish such as sole,
turbot, dab, plaice, brill, etc."

"Excellent, really excellent!" the harpooner exclaimed, interested in fish only from an edible viewpoint.

"Quarto," Conseil went on, unabashed, "the apods, with long bodies that lack pelvic fins and are
covered by a heavy, often glutinous skin, an order consisting of only one family. Examples: common
eels and electric eels."

"So-so, just so-so!" Ned Land replied.

"Quinto," Conseil said, "the lophobranchians, which have fully formed, free-moving jaws but whose
gills consist of little tufts arranged in pairs along their gill arches. This order includes only one family.
Examples: seahorses and dragonfish."

"Bad, very bad!" the harpooner replied.

"Sexto and last," Conseil said, "the plectognaths, whose maxillary bone is firmly attached to the side of
the intermaxillary that forms the jaw, and whose palate arch is locked to the skull by sutures that render
the jaw immovable, an order lacking true pelvic fins and which consists of two families. Examples:
puffers and moonfish."

"They're an insult to a frying pan!" the Canadian exclaimed. "Are you grasping all this, Ned my
friend?" asked the scholarly Conseil.

"Not a lick of it, Conseil my friend," the harpooner replied.

"But keep going, because you fill me with fascination."

"As for cartilaginous fish," Conseil went on unflappably, "they consist of only three

orders." "Good news," Ned put in.

"Primo, the cyclostomes, whose jaws are fused into a flexible ring and whose gill openings are simply a
large number of holes, an order consisting of only one family. Example: the lamprey."

"An acquired taste," Ned Land replied.

"Secundo, the selacians, with gills resembling those of the cyclostomes but whose lower jaw is free-
moving. This order, which is the most important in the class, consists of two families. Examples: the
ray and the shark."

"What!" Ned Land exclaimed. "Rays and man-eaters in the same order? Well, Conseil my friend, on
behalf of the rays, I wouldn't advise you to put them in the same fish tank!"

"Tertio," Conseil replied, "The sturionians, whose gill opening is the usual single slit adorned with a
gill cover, an order consisting of four genera. Example: the sturgeon."
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"Ah, Conseil my friend, you saved the best for last, in my opinion anyhow! And that's all of 'em?"

"Yes, my gallant Ned," Conseil replied. "And note well, even when one has grasped all this, one still
knows next to nothing, because these families are subdivided into genera, subgenera, species, varieties-
-"

"All right, Conseil my friend," the harpooner said, leaning toward the glass panel, "here come a couple
of your varieties now!"

"Yes! Fish!" Conseil exclaimed. "One would think he was in front of an aquarium!" "No," I replied,
"because an aquarium is nothing more than a cage, and these fish are as free as birds in the air!"

"Well, Conseil my friend, identify them! Start naming them!" Ned Land

exclaimed. "Me?" Conseil replied. "I'm unable to! That's my employer's

bailiwick!"

And in truth, although the fine lad was a classifying maniac, he was no naturalist, and I doubt that he
could tell a bonito from a tuna. In short, he was the exact opposite of the Canadian, who knew nothing
about classification but could instantly put a name to any fish.

"A triggerfish," I said.

"It's a Chinese triggerfish," Ned Land replied.

"Genus Balistes, family Scleroderma, order Plectognatha," Conseil muttered.

Assuredly, Ned and Conseil in combination added up to one outstanding

naturalist.
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LIST OF TERMS:

- Harpooner - plaice

- Plectognatha - dab

- Scleroderma - turbot

- Balistes - sole

- Chinese triggerfish - flatfish

- Triggerfish - subbrachians

- Tuna - pike

- Bonito - carp

- Aquarium - acanthopterygians

- Sturgeon - pelvic fins

- Sturionians - gills

- Rays - spine

- Selacians - icthiology is the

- Shark branch of science

- Cyclostomes that studies fish and

- Lamprey marine creatures

- Moonfish

- Puffers

- Dragonfish

- Seahorses

- Lophobranchians

- electric eels

- common eels

- brill