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850 [Music]
00:00:06.000~00:00:07.680 this is not an hour anyone should be
00:00:07.680~00:00:08.559 awake | this is not an hour anyone should be
00:00:08.559~00:00:13.200 ever and here i am | awake
00:00:14.000~00:00:17.359 all right let's get ready it's quarter
00:00:17.359~00:00:18.480 possible | all right let's get ready it's quarter
00:00:20.720~00:00:21.920 radio show
00:00:21.920~00:00:24.960 which means i'll be laughing and it will | radio show
00:00:26.560~00:00:31.439 and then you'll forget outside your
00:00:31.439~00:00:33.760 i just go straight on i mean if you | and then you'll
forget outside your
00:00:35.280~00:00:37.600 minutes
00:00:39.280~00:00:42.320 okay let's go
00:00:43.280~00:00:46.559 i'm roman kemp i'm a radio dj and a tv
00:00:46.559~00:00:47.280 presenter | i'm roman kemp i'm a radio dj and a tv
00:00:50.079~00:00:51.120 years
00:00:51.120~00:00:54.320 from doing i'm a celeb | years
00:00:54.960~00:00:57.120 to presenting the new year's fireworks
00:00:57.120~00:00:58.160 happy new year | to presenting the new year's
fireworks
00:01:02.960~00:01:06.240 every weekday morning at 6 a.m
00:01:06.240~00:01:08.159 it's an amazing thing to be able to say | every
weekday morning at 6 a.m
00:01:09.760~00:01:11.680 millions of people which is you know
00:01:11.680~00:01:12.880 it's a very privileged | millions of people which is
you know
00:01:16.320~00:01:17.759 just thinking how can we make people
00:01:17.759~00:01:19.680 laugh how can we entertain people and | just thinking
how can we make people
00:01:22.320~00:01:24.560 wear a big smile on my face
00:01:24.560~00:01:26.720 but i'm also aware that life isn't | wear a big smile
on my face
00:01:28.880~00:01:30.880 like a lot of people in my generation i
00:01:30.880~00:01:34.240 struggle with my mental health | like a lot of people
in my generation i
00:01:34.799~00:01:37.520 it's been a hard year for everyone but
00:01:37.520~00:01:38.960 i'm talking about this now | it's been a hard year
for everyone but
00:01:42.240~00:01:45.360 in august 2020 six months into the
00:01:45.360~00:01:46.399 pandemic | in august 2020 six months into the
00:01:50.320~00:01:53.439 and unexpectedly i had no idea he was
00:01:53.439~00:01:55.439 struggling | and unexpectedly i had no idea he was
00:01:58.079~00:01:58.960 over three
00:01:58.960~00:02:01.680 quarters of men feel unable to confide | over three
00:02:03.119~00:02:05.840 about their problems it isn't just a
00:02:05.840~00:02:07.520 coincidence | about their problems it isn't just a
00:02:10.800~00:02:14.800 found seven other men
00:02:14.800~00:02:18.319 joe's age in that situation | found seven other men
00:02:19.760~00:02:22.400 found why are so
00:02:22.400~00:02:24.560 many young men losing their lives like | found why
are so
00:02:25.599~00:02:27.440 and why aren't they talking to their
00:02:27.440~00:02:29.440 friends | and why aren't they talking to their
00:02:29.440~00:02:37.840 that's what i have to figure out | friends
00:02:47.920~00:02:50.720 this is where i first met joe seven
00:02:50.720~00:02:51.760 years ago | this is where i first met joe seven
00:02:54.160~00:02:55.440 gigs and i was
00:02:55.440~00:02:58.400 bricking it joe was the producer he was | gigs and i
was
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drawn
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you just
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like
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was
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straight away and since then
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were going out we were
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me by my feet holding a
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lucked out
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best mate next to me
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yeah
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have a sister i
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person that i could
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feeling and
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thing that
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i'm just
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i could tell that day they he'd drawn
the short straw | i could tell that day they he'd
new kid can you just
just go and like do this bit with him | new kid can
oh my god
like why am i stuck with the newbie why | oh my god
the celebrity kid you know i mean like
that i knew it | the celebrity kid you know i mean
feel that
no matter what happened that day it was | feel that
ridiculous it was
we're doing the job we're getting it | ridiculous it
we clicked straight away and since then
we spent pretty much every single day | we clicked
you know we were going out we were
talking to the biggest celebrities on | you know we
film junkets and i'd be sat here talking
to | film junkets and i'd be sat here talking
right next to me by my feet holding a
microphone up like this is joe just | right next to
making sure we get the content always my
career | making sure we get the content always my
with him side by side hand in hand the
whole way | with him side by side hand in hand the
that you know not only had i lucked out
not only did i have | that you know not only had i
doing it with my best mate next to me
and that's special mouth open yeah | doing it with my
really ready yeah | and that's special mouth open
i don't have a brother i have a sister i
have harley who who is | i don't have a brother i
but i never had that person that i could
rinse stupid resting faces | but i never had that
football
i had my mates but never had that that | football
kind of feeling and
for me joe was the first person that i | kind of
huh
[Music]
it's his voice that's the thing that
like i want reminding of | it's his voice that's the
about a [ __ ] there at work or i'm just
feeling a bit down | about a [ __ ] there at work or
just miss him
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last day out
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we could all socialize again
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meeting up when we took the
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it would have been
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what's so scary when i tell
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we found out started
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noticed was joe wasn't there
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started to get worrying
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producers went to
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minutes for me
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was happening
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joe as well
i just missed my mate | just miss him
this was our last day out
a club i'm common it was one of the | this was our
outside and we could all socialize again
and i remember him being really excited | outside and
everyone meeting up when we took the
football and it's trying to skill that | everyone
sunburnt
but the reality is | sunburnt
at this point it would have been
struggling with something that's the | at this point
and that's what's so scary when i tell
you you can't see it like you can't see | and that's
it | you you can't see it like you can't see
the day that we found out started
like any other day i went to the radio | the day that
thing i noticed was joe wasn't there
the show went on and got five minutes | thing i
um let me know you're okay mate and at
this point | um let me know you're okay mate and at
genuinely i'm thinking he's overslept | this point
and then it started to get worrying
the gap between 7 to 7 30 the mood went | and then it
sirius and one of my producers went to
joe's house to check on him | sirius and one of my
producer then came into the room
and she says to me | producer then came into the room
he's in the house
and
i knew
and i said um
i said is he gone
she said yeah
she said he's gone
it takes three minutes for me
to run from my house to his house | it takes three
get there
had i known something was happening | get there
three minutes away from me | had i known something
part of my world was completely ending
[Music]
i spent every day with joe and didn't
see any signs | i spent every day with joe and didn't
i want to know if any of our mates
clocked anything | i want to know if any of our mates
friends who became close to joe as well
there he is no i could | friends who became close to
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of guys
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situation was
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man in the world scored a
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lucky
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right
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now like
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and i guess in that respect
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of us really
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his amazing
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conversations
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what joe was alone
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demand here the nhs have
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999
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to die and said his life's
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have experienced the mental
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previously recorded there's a
of groups of guys
experts at disguising how we're feeling | of groups
this whole situation was
the last game of football that we played | this whole
yeah happiest man in the world scored a
hat-trick it's called a hat-trick and | yeah happiest
bagged the hat-trick
no absolutely that is carnage | bagged the hat-trick
he had a lot of abilities football not
one of them | he had a lot of abilities football not
happy-go-lucky
people i knew if you said let's go to | happy-go-
he's like yeah right
let's go i'm booking a train i don't | he's like yeah
saddens me now like
a really like deep conversation with him | saddens me
thought he was
great yeah because he was always so | thought he was
friendly and i guess in that respect
there's a little bit of regret there but | friendly
something we've got to deal with
it's hard hearing that none of us really
had that chat with joe | it's hard hearing that none
on behind his amazing
happy persona is our situation unique or | on behind
conversations
if not there must be so many young men |
going through what joe was alone
to get a sense of the scale of the | going through
of increasing demand here the nhs have
partnered with the police to create a | of increasing
emergency service
the team's calls come in via 999
concerned loved ones | the team's calls come in via
or people themselves in crisis | concerned loved ones
a young male 16 years of age has rung in
stating | a young male 16 years of age has rung in
he wants to die and said his life's
[ __ ] that's it that's that's his comment | he wants
more people have experienced the mental
health crisis during the coronavirus | more people
than ever previously recorded there's a
suicide risk for a 13 year old just | than ever
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rare thing that young there's
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attempt and
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more that
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nottinghamshire police
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if i can help you
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parents or
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a lot worried that the
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that
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ambulance
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to say or
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quite
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quickly so you've
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intense i've been here for
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old man 16 year old boy
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made quite a serious
is that a rare thing that young there's
definitely more younger people coming | is that a
the moment
13 is very young i think the the | the moment
oh my god yeah they made an attempt and
i made an attempt | oh my god yeah they made an
more and more that
kids teenagers are making these comments | more and
nottinghamshire police
hi i've been called about concerns for |
i'm just going to see if i can help you
in any way i'd say about 90 | i'm just going to see
suicides are males
wow a lot will be relationship | suicides are males
feeling like they've let the parents or
the partners down | feeling like they've let the
should be in life a lot worried that the
friends are really confident and | should be in life
are and they're not going to have that
in their life and | are and they're not going to have
employment okay
and what have you taken | employment okay
okay
we need to we need to get an ambulance
to you really don't we | we need to we need to get an
bye-bye
so we need to get moving quite quickly | bye-bye
yeah we'll go find him
when you're arriving at a situation like
this | when you're arriving at a situation like
you're going to say or
um i always just try to talk to people | you're going
though quite
informal putting them at you people that | though
they can change so quickly so you've
just always got to be prepared | they can change so
i believe we're here | just always got to be prepared
it is so intense i've been here for
four hours and there's a 13 year old boy | it is so
a 31 year old man 16 year old boy
there's constantly someone that they're | a 31 year
rush to and help before it's too late
how was it and made quite a serious
attempt on his life this evening | how was it and
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for the ambulance to come
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the local mental health team
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this
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mental health support
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friendship group was young
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dealing with the loss of joe
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ireland which is the
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take their own life here
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men who have
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today i just i just
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playing up in school
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brought like happy energy always
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and just
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want to know
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growing up in an area
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big as
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the recent week
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better now he's got a lot of future
planning | better now he's got a lot of future
so he's agreed for the ambulance to come
back and check him out and they're | so he's agreed
referral to the local mental health team
to contact him one day so they'll be | referral to
it's been a busy night they've kept this
person safe | it's been a busy night they've kept
for ongoing mental health support
i was so shocked to hear the ages of | for ongoing
i thought our friendship group was young
to be dealing with the loss of joe | i thought our
but tragically teenage suicide rates are | to be
rising
i'm in northern ireland which is the
highest suicide rates in the uk | i'm in northern
likely to take their own life here
as they are in england i want to find | likely to
to help the boys and young men who have
been affected by suicide | to help the boys and young
hello lads hey good to meet you how are
you | hello lads hey good to meet you how are
lost their best mate carl two months
into lockdown | lost their best mate carl two months
so i mean i guess today i just i just
wanted to know more about about | so i mean i guess
he's always playing up in school
in terms of the friend group was he me | he's always
always brought like happy energy always
messed about you could go in the school | always
come in and just
bring up your whole day do you know what | come in
one of the things i kind of want to know
about is is what it's | one of the things i kind of
know growing up in an area
where you know that you know suicide is | know
prevalent thing it seems to be as big as
it as ever been | prevalent thing it seems to be as
just heard in the recent week
and you're just wondering like are we | just heard in
we can do
what is it that you heard in this week | we can do
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school again
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such a
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going to be next
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our paranoid wake up check my
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00:16:14.320~00:16:17.199
00:16:17.199~00:16:18.160
by
00:16:20.000~00:16:23.040
00:16:23.040~00:16:25.920
north belfast hello
00:16:27.440~00:16:30.000
00:16:30.480~00:16:33.360
00:16:33.360~00:16:35.040
you guys do when
00:16:37.680~00:16:39.279
00:16:39.279~00:16:40.959
friends has taken their own
00:16:42.959~00:16:44.399
00:16:44.399~00:16:47.680
00:16:50.000~00:16:51.839
00:16:51.839~00:16:52.160
00:16:54.639~00:16:56.240
00:16:56.240~00:16:59.600
feelings
00:17:01.440~00:17:02.639
00:17:02.639~00:17:04.959
their pain
00:17:06.480~00:17:08.480
00:17:08.480~00:17:10.319
say to me young man don't
00:17:10.720~00:17:13.280
00:17:13.280~00:17:14.720
and
00:17:17.760~00:17:19.360
00:17:19.360~00:17:20.160
00:17:22.799~00:17:24.319
00:17:24.319~00:17:25.199
00:17:26.959~00:17:28.960
00:17:28.960~00:17:31.200
months and this evening
00:17:32.640~00:17:33.600
00:17:33.600~00:17:35.360
00:17:37.280~00:17:37.520
00:17:37.520~00:17:39.360
00:17:40.799~00:17:42.320
00:17:42.320~00:17:44.240
him and then
00:17:45.440~00:17:47.120
00:17:47.120~00:17:48.720
what the feeds like does
someone in my school again
said yeah so that was this week | someone in my
wow does it scare you that it is such a
prevalent thing | wow does it scare you that it is
who who's going to be next
it's like every time i call our dad i | who who's
just pop our paranoid wake up check my
phone straight away because i don't want | just pop
again
a local charity lighthouse supported by
comic relief | a local charity lighthouse supported
suicide in north belfast hello
hello they work with suicidal people as | suicide in
lost someone
what's the work that you guys do when
you know you've got a group of | what's the work that
one of their friends has taken their own
life well that individual group with | one of their
then of
of harm or you know ultimately | then of
in with preventative measures around
that | in with preventative measures around
and normalize these feelings
yeah of owning their grief | and normalize these
their their pain
yeah but working through it knowing that | their
when people say to me young man don't
they don't do this type of stuff i say | when people
provide the space do it well and
actually the results | provide the space do it well
have lost someone close to them to
suicide | have lost someone close to them to
lighthouse have been helping carl's
school friends | lighthouse have been helping carl's
four months and this evening
they've invited me to join their session | four
a week before
and i was like can't wait to see you | a week before
up
and stuff expect him to get the message | up
that was my last message him and then
he's gone nice what i mean | that was my last message
know yourself what the feeds like does
that helplessness that you can't yeah | know yourself
00:17:50.480~00:17:52.960
00:17:52.960~00:17:55.520
constant coming to terms with
00:17:56.960~00:17:58.880
00:17:58.880~00:18:00.240
a good part
00:18:01.840~00:18:03.760
00:18:03.760~00:18:04.320
00:18:05.760~00:18:06.880
00:18:06.880~00:18:08.000
00:18:10.960~00:18:12.640
00:18:12.640~00:18:14.640
few days before he had
00:18:15.919~00:18:18.000
00:18:18.000~00:18:18.960
process of
00:18:20.400~00:18:22.080
00:18:22.080~00:18:23.919
none of our faults like the
00:18:26.640~00:18:28.000
00:18:28.000~00:18:29.760
and they
00:18:32.400~00:18:34.400
00:18:34.400~00:18:35.919
karl
00:18:37.840~00:18:40.000
00:18:40.000~00:18:41.919
our own mental health
00:18:43.600~00:18:44.480
00:18:44.480~00:18:46.960
00:18:48.320~00:18:50.640
00:18:50.640~00:18:51.919
wrong the
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00:18:56.480~00:18:58.640
second every day
00:18:59.520~00:19:01.280
00:19:01.280~00:19:03.600
mates can't notice it then
00:19:05.600~00:19:07.440
00:19:07.440~00:19:08.720
up with each other
00:19:11.520~00:19:13.760
00:19:13.760~00:19:16.000
00:19:16.640~00:19:19.520
00:19:19.520~00:19:20.000
00:19:22.160~00:19:24.080
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talking i was looking
00:19:27.360~00:19:30.080
00:19:30.080~00:19:32.320
00:19:35.120~00:19:36.880
00:19:36.880~00:19:40.640
morning the boys want to help
00:19:40.640~00:19:43.600
skills
00:19:44.799~00:19:46.320
00:19:46.320~00:19:49.679
the opportunity to
that constant coming to terms with
this is real and this has happened when | that
i felt like it was there was a good part
like that was my fault | i felt like it was there was
feeling because i was closest to him
like | feeling because i was closest to him
like i could see his house from my
mummy's window | like i could see his house from my
call from a few days before he had
once you're trying to pick out reasons | call from a
it'll just your your thought process of
it will kick it on | it'll just your your thought
but it's none of our faults like the
difficulty with that is a lot of people | but it's
weighs them down and they
then develop mental health issues | weighs them down
we all were there and regrettably karl
made this choice | we all were there and regrettably
look after our own mental health
and reach out and talk to one another | look after
problem
the thing that scares me the most is as | problem
we couldn't see a tad thing wrong the
fact that you can be | we couldn't see a tad thing
nearly every second every day
and not notice a single thing wrong so | nearly every
if your best mates can't notice it then
how you can those support networks are | if your best
have built up with each other
you know that's the message we're trying | have built
to talk to be open and just talk it
through | to talk to be open and just talk it
what an amazing lucky group of lads to
have | what an amazing lucky group of lads to
whoever wasn't talking i was looking
around and you can see one another | whoever wasn't
you know how are you feeling it was so
nice | you know how are you feeling it was so
the next morning the boys want to help
me improve my gaelic football skills | the next
jesus what a booth | me improve my gaelic football
and i want to take the opportunity to
talk to them about last night | and i want to take
00:19:51.760~00:19:53.600
00:19:53.600~00:19:56.799
yesterday it made
00:19:59.520~00:20:01.120
00:20:01.120~00:20:02.720
00:20:04.559~00:20:05.440
00:20:05.440~00:20:06.640
do you ever feel
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00:20:09.919~00:20:12.000
maybe if i had to say one
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00:20:14.480~00:20:15.280
what would
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00:20:19.039~00:20:20.159
really
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00:20:22.799~00:20:24.480
yeah you just you gotta have a
00:20:25.039~00:20:26.320
00:20:26.320~00:20:27.760
the chance to say bye to him
00:20:29.520~00:20:31.760
00:20:31.760~00:20:32.559
00:20:35.679~00:20:36.080
00:20:36.080~00:20:38.320
00:20:38.320~00:20:41.200
hard you
00:20:42.480~00:20:44.080
00:20:44.080~00:20:46.320
him open up like that i mean
00:20:47.200~00:20:48.640
00:20:48.640~00:20:50.559
comfortable that he's talking
00:20:51.280~00:20:54.400
00:20:54.400~00:20:55.280
him if
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00:21:01.520~00:21:02.000
00:21:04.480~00:21:05.039
00:21:05.039~00:21:06.799
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00:21:14.559~00:21:17.760
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just live like i want
00:21:21.280~00:21:21.840
00:21:21.840~00:21:24.720
00:21:25.919~00:21:27.120
00:21:27.120~00:21:28.559
thing
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00:21:31.840~00:21:34.880
thing
00:21:36.640~00:21:39.520
00:21:39.520~00:21:40.640
00:21:41.919~00:21:44.559
00:21:44.559~00:21:45.760
listening to youtube yesterday it made
me feel you and i feel | listening to youtube
through in my mind like all the time
like | through in my mind like all the time
you know what i mean do you ever feel
like you don't feel like you | you know what i mean
feel like maybe if i had to say one
different word to him on one day that | feel like
outcome but what would you what would
you have said to him | outcome but what would you
the thing with suicide you don't really
get to say goodbye | the thing with suicide you don't
something yeah you just you gotta have a
long time to kind of say bye and stuff | something
never got the chance to say bye to him
never got to hear that he loved me and | never got
what would you say to him now that i
love him | what would you say to him now that i
than that
yeah it's really hard really hard you | than that
know you just miss him | yeah it's really hard really
hearing him open up like that i mean
does it does it make you worried or does | hearing
you know comfortable that he's talking
about it and and that that you got his | you know
just i know that i can like help him if
he's feeling that | just i know that i can like help
i can worry about him but i've gotten
why i have | i can worry about him but i've gotten
friend
yeah we're going for the same thing yeah | friend
missed card this one's a team in the car
yeah i | missed card this one's a team in the car
i wanna just live like i want
us to live our life in the foodless just | i wanna
want that
yeah you guys are doing a great thing | want that
that's that's the most important thing
you know i mean | that's that's the most important
proud that's the best thing
i don't know why you know | proud that's the best
it's amazing to see these boys at such a
young age | it's amazing to see these boys at such a
happened to them but i can relate to the
disbelief | happened to them but i can relate to the
00:21:45.760~00:21:49.039
00:21:50.159~00:21:52.960
00:21:52.960~00:21:56.640
many cases are young men not
00:21:56.840~00:21:59.840
00:22:08.400~00:22:10.640
00:22:10.640~00:22:11.520
00:22:14.480~00:22:15.120
00:22:15.120~00:22:16.960
00:22:18.720~00:22:20.559
00:22:20.559~00:22:21.760
00:22:24.480~00:22:26.240
00:22:26.240~00:22:27.280
00:22:28.799~00:22:30.720
00:22:30.720~00:22:32.720
oh my god shock um
00:22:34.000~00:22:35.679
00:22:35.679~00:22:37.760
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00:22:41.919~00:22:44.640
to understand what's going on
00:22:45.360~00:22:47.520
00:22:47.520~00:22:49.840
quarters of all
00:22:51.039~00:22:52.960
00:22:52.960~00:22:55.919
of factors some things
00:22:57.120~00:22:59.760
00:22:59.760~00:23:01.039
perhaps men
00:23:04.400~00:23:06.240
00:23:06.240~00:23:08.400
into this sense of
00:23:10.799~00:23:11.600
00:23:11.600~00:23:12.960
00:23:14.880~00:23:17.200
00:23:17.200~00:23:18.000
00:23:19.600~00:23:21.440
00:23:21.440~00:23:22.559
00:23:24.799~00:23:25.679
00:23:25.679~00:23:27.440
about
00:23:29.039~00:23:31.280
00:23:31.280~00:23:32.880
doing work in a clinical
00:23:34.000~00:23:35.840
00:23:35.840~00:23:37.840
with them to complete
00:23:39.600~00:23:41.440
00:23:41.440~00:23:43.520
simple
00:23:45.039~00:23:46.480
00:23:46.480~00:23:47.760
very last moment
00:23:49.679~00:23:51.600
00:23:51.600~00:23:52.720
people to think
00:23:54.640~00:23:55.919
00:23:55.919~00:23:57.440
and what if that they feel | disbelief
why in so many cases are young men not
reaching out to those that are close to | why in so
them
i'm in scotland at the university of
glasgow's | i'm in scotland at the university of
hello
good to meet you how are you to meet | hello
i've been doing research into suicide
for | i've been doing research into suicide
who brought me into the field of suicide
research | who brought me into the field of suicide
that was oh my god shock um
when it comes so close to home as you've | that was
it just it takes on a whole different
perspective | it just it takes on a whole different
attempting to understand what's going on
inside the suicidal mind we're trying to | attempting
the fact that three-quarters of all
suicides in the uk are by men | the fact that three-
whole range of factors some things
impacting on your sense of masculinity | whole range
social inequality and also perhaps men
are less likely to seek | social inequality and also
comes together into this sense of
entrapment and that's what meant | comes together
do you think
are kind of like the thoughts that are | do you think
are they thinking of are they thinking
of others | are they thinking of are they thinking
others they think that the people their
loved ones | others they think that the people their
we talk about
tunnel vision that's all of us you don't | we talk
and we've been doing work in a clinical
context with people who've attempted | and we've been
and when we work with them to complete
what are known as safety plans | and when we work
straightforward simple
interventions because suicide is | straightforward
up until the very last moment
so if we just look here there's six | up until the
the first step is we ask people to think
about what makes you | the first step is we ask
people to think about things that we
know what can distract you | people to think about
things that we
00:23:59.279~00:24:00.880
00:24:00.880~00:24:02.640
in suicidal thoughts
00:24:04.880~00:24:07.520
00:24:07.520~00:24:09.440
crisis yeah and
00:24:11.919~00:24:14.159
00:24:14.159~00:24:17.840
because i feel like
00:24:18.559~00:24:21.520
00:24:21.600~00:24:23.440
00:24:23.440~00:24:25.679
00:24:25.760~00:24:30.080
00:24:30.080~00:24:33.200
is hard i i totally i get that
00:24:33.840~00:24:36.320
00:24:36.320~00:24:38.000
ahead
00:24:40.559~00:24:42.720
00:24:42.720~00:24:46.480
through in advance
00:24:46.480~00:24:48.799
00:24:50.559~00:24:53.840
00:24:53.840~00:24:55.520
really really sad
00:24:57.520~00:24:58.720
00:24:58.720~00:25:01.600
00:25:04.320~00:25:06.480
00:25:06.480~00:25:09.730
that person
00:25:13.520~00:25:15.279
00:25:15.279~00:25:17.679
understand more about the
00:25:20.080~00:25:21.520
00:25:21.520~00:25:29.840
someone who's
00:25:31.840~00:25:33.760
00:25:33.760~00:25:38.240
edinburgh to meet someone who
00:25:39.200~00:25:41.600
00:25:41.600~00:25:42.320
00:25:42.320~00:25:46.960
them
00:25:48.080~00:25:51.120
00:25:51.120~00:25:53.600
now in a much better place
00:25:55.440~00:25:57.360
00:25:57.360~00:26:00.559
like i want to be able
00:26:03.279~00:26:03.760
00:26:03.760~00:26:06.960
00:26:08.799~00:26:10.640
00:26:10.640~00:26:12.559
strength in my
00:26:14.080~00:26:16.000
00:26:16.000~00:26:17.600
expectation and from the second i
00:26:19.200~00:26:21.200
increases in suicidal thoughts
and steps three and four we try and get | increases
go to in that moment of crisis yeah and
pick up the phone and say | go to in that moment of
it's hard because i feel like
looking at this i know that if my friend | it's hard
shown one of these
i'm convinced my name would be down
there | i'm convinced my name would be down
and that is hard i i totally i get that
and sometimes small things can make such | and that
and if somebody has planned ahead
thinking well actually | and if somebody has planned
and having it thought through in advance
absolutely key absolutely key | and having it thought
wow | absolutely key absolutely key
that makes me really really sad
to think that people in those moments | that makes me
a favor
and they're taking a burden off someone | a favor
because you just wish that that person
knew how wrong they are | because you just wish that
i want to understand more about the
headspace someone is in before making an | i want to
i want to speak to someone who's
actually been there and survived | i want to speak to
i'm in edinburgh to meet someone who
attempted suicide when he was just 19. | i'm in
fergus nice to meet you i'll give you
one of them | fergus nice to meet you i'll give you
one of them nice to meet yeah who's this | one of
fergus is now in a much better place
and is growing a very impressive tash to | fergus is
if you don't mind like i want to be able
to understand a little bit about | if you don't mind
why
were you choosing to suffer in silence | why
i was always a pillar of strength in my
friendship group and | i was always a pillar of
expectation and from the second i
arrived at university that kind of threw |
a bit socially isolated
00:26:21.200~00:26:22.880
socially isolated
00:26:24.799~00:26:26.880
00:26:26.880~00:26:29.520
lonely
00:26:30.720~00:26:33.200
00:26:33.200~00:26:35.200
eat anything for days at a time
00:26:36.799~00:26:38.640
00:26:38.640~00:26:40.000
little bit and get frustrated
00:26:41.360~00:26:42.799
00:26:42.799~00:26:44.400
00:26:46.240~00:26:48.880
00:26:48.880~00:26:52.559
where i thought
00:26:55.919~00:26:57.919
00:26:57.919~00:27:00.559
whatsapp group she
00:27:03.679~00:27:05.039
00:27:05.039~00:27:08.159
else
00:27:10.799~00:27:12.720
00:27:12.720~00:27:15.279
didn't even feel comfortable
00:27:18.159~00:27:20.159
00:27:20.159~00:27:22.720
00:27:23.919~00:27:28.000
00:27:28.000~00:27:31.279
should have said is
00:27:36.799~00:27:38.159
00:27:38.159~00:27:39.840
of my mind i knew what
00:27:41.600~00:27:42.640
00:27:42.640~00:27:45.840
really thought about it like
00:27:48.559~00:27:49.919
00:27:49.919~00:27:53.039
00:27:53.520~00:27:55.600
00:27:55.600~00:27:56.960
was another way of me not
00:27:58.320~00:28:00.960
00:28:00.960~00:28:02.480
wanted a
00:28:05.120~00:28:06.080
00:28:06.080~00:28:09.440
00:28:12.559~00:28:16.320
00:28:16.320~00:28:18.080
message from a friend saying
00:28:20.480~00:28:23.760
00:28:23.760~00:28:27.120
fully not serious
00:28:28.559~00:28:31.520
00:28:31.520~00:28:32.720
had a
00:28:34.720~00:28:36.559
00:28:36.559~00:28:38.799
responses but that turned
00:28:40.559~00:28:41.919
lovely people but not like-minded not | a bit
very very lonely
and i was suddenly then unable to sleep | very very
couldn't eat anything for days at a time
and i just had no energy whatsoever and | couldn't
spiral a little bit and get frustrated
with the fact that i was feeling the way | spiral a
and i just i just remember sitting in my
room | and i just i just remember sitting in my
suicidal thoughts where i thought
i'd rather not be here anymore | suicidal thoughts
message in our family whatsapp group she
said how's life with the boys | message in our family
with everyone else
two hours later i attempted suicide | with everyone
in that i didn't even feel comfortable
saying goodbye i'd rather just draw a | in that i
what was the real message that you
should have sent | what was the real message that you
what i should have said is
i'm happy to know that you're concerned | what i
and in the back of my mind i knew what
that meant but i don't think i ever | and in the back
i've never really thought about it like
this to be to be honest before actually | i've never
didn't choose to die
i didn't make the decision | didn't choose to die
because it was another way of me not
confronting the fact that i was leaving | because it
i just wanted peace i just wanted a
break from my own mind | i just wanted peace i just
life around
after that moment the day after i | life around
i got a message from a friend saying
i'm getting a puppy from this litter | i got a
he was fully fully not serious
yeah i was like yes and the day that i | he was fully
i had a routine to fulfill i had a
reason to go outside | i had a routine to fulfill i
getting any responses but that turned
out to be incredibly important and | getting any
hadn't ever
00:28:41.919~00:28:43.440
00:28:45.760~00:28:48.480
00:28:48.480~00:28:51.600
out of my
00:28:51.919~00:28:54.720
00:28:54.720~00:28:56.720
start to unpack the
00:28:58.159~00:28:59.520
00:28:59.520~00:29:00.799
explain to my
00:29:04.000~00:29:06.480
00:29:06.480~00:29:08.240
my family again
00:29:11.200~00:29:12.720
00:29:12.720~00:29:14.000
third
00:29:17.279~00:29:19.200
00:29:19.200~00:29:21.039
something i could
00:29:21.039~00:29:23.600
00:29:24.960~00:29:26.720
00:29:26.720~00:29:28.240
cathartic speaking to
00:29:31.440~00:29:35.279
00:29:35.279~00:29:36.480
you not think about us
00:29:39.039~00:29:40.399
00:29:40.399~00:29:43.760
00:29:46.399~00:29:48.080
00:29:48.080~00:29:51.520
00:29:54.159~00:29:55.200
00:29:55.200~00:29:57.679
little
00:29:57.679~00:30:09.840
00:30:10.559~00:30:15.120
00:30:15.120~00:30:18.960
own kemp special
00:30:22.640~00:30:26.159
00:30:26.159~00:30:29.200
but that almost sounds like
00:30:30.399~00:30:33.840
00:30:33.840~00:30:35.360
protest um
00:30:35.360~00:30:37.840
00:30:48.840~00:30:51.840
00:30:53.120~00:30:56.480
00:30:56.480~00:30:58.000
take one which is a vitamin d
00:30:59.519~00:31:00.640
00:31:00.640~00:31:03.919
vitamin d
00:31:04.640~00:31:07.679
00:31:07.679~00:31:11.120
depressant anti-anxiety
00:31:12.799~00:31:15.760
00:31:15.760~00:31:18.559
taking
00:31:22.880~00:31:27.360
00:31:27.360~00:31:30.480
comprehended in my own head before that | hadn't ever
oh and then once they were out of my
mouth out in the world | oh and then once they were
i could slowly start to unpack the
reality of the situation i'd been in | i could slowly
comfortable enough to explain to my
family about what happened | comfortable enough to
truthful and honest to my family again
for the first time in years | truthful and honest to
christmas and really enjoyed my third
year at university | christmas and really enjoyed my
happy which is not something i could
have i could have put money on | happy which is not
beforehand | have i could have put money on
i found it quite cathartic speaking to
fergus because it did stop | i found it quite
about how could you not think about us
or you know how could you not think | about how could
sadder but
takes away the anger part for sure | sadder but
feeling like that
come on what you found | feeling like that
come on you little
truffle pig even if it just starts with | come on you
your dog | truffle pig even if it just starts with
all right this is your own kemp special
of porridge with water um | all right this is your
protein oats but that almost sounds like
some kind of bad thing you'd go to a | protein oats
you got the protest um
once you had a little bit of jam in | you got the
there | once you had a little bit of jam in
wow
so i'll take one which is a vitamin d
because we live in england and you need | so i'll
the vitamin d
um and the other one is citrulline which | the
an anti-depressant anti-anxiety
type pill i've this has been i've taken | an anti-
12 years so i'm 27 now i started taking
it when i was 15. | 12 years so i'm 27 now i started
massively they make my mood
normal they make me feel normal they | massively they
make my mood
00:31:33.200~00:31:35.440
00:31:35.440~00:31:37.440
things that are in my
00:31:38.960~00:31:43.679
00:31:43.679~00:31:47.039
gets too much for me
00:31:51.039~00:31:55.519
00:31:56.480~00:31:58.559
00:31:58.559~00:32:00.720
how important it is to be
00:32:03.519~00:32:06.000
00:32:06.000~00:32:08.320
had my own issues
00:32:10.559~00:32:12.080
00:32:12.080~00:32:14.720
think there should be any
00:32:15.519~00:32:17.760
00:32:17.760~00:32:19.519
00:32:22.960~00:32:27.039
00:32:27.039~00:32:30.320
on everything
00:32:31.600~00:32:34.720
00:32:34.720~00:32:37.200
job because of who
00:32:37.200~00:32:40.000
boyfriend
00:32:40.880~00:32:44.080
00:32:44.080~00:32:48.080
pressures just came
00:32:51.600~00:32:53.519
00:32:53.519~00:32:57.039
was
00:33:00.640~00:33:04.080
00:33:04.080~00:33:08.320
and just crying
00:33:11.440~00:33:16.159
00:33:17.279~00:33:21.039
00:33:21.600~00:33:25.600
00:33:25.600~00:33:28.960
00:33:30.399~00:33:32.640
00:33:32.640~00:33:35.679
00:33:36.080~00:33:38.720
00:33:38.720~00:33:40.480
the car and she made sure
00:33:42.480~00:33:45.200
00:33:49.440~00:33:52.799
00:33:52.799~00:33:55.039
00:34:05.279~00:34:08.960
00:34:08.960~00:34:10.639
my mom literally forced me to
00:34:11.760~00:34:14.240
00:34:14.240~00:34:16.560
00:34:16.960~00:34:19.839
00:34:19.839~00:34:21.839
when i was first
00:34:25.440~00:34:28.560
00:34:28.560~00:34:30.720
first time you took
worrying about things that are in my
head and and that worry takes over | worrying about
and that's when it gets too much for me
some days are better than others | and that's when it
really suffer if i don't take them
i'm realizing how important it is to be
honest with the people closest to you | i'm realizing
to say i've had my own issues
one in five people in the uk will have | to say i've
and i don't think there should be any
stigma around that there was one day in | and i don't
a year before joe died where i was at my
lowest | a year before joe died where i was at my
by my own brain on everything
how i look what i was doing wrong | by my own brain
am i doing my job because of who
my dad is am i being a good boyfriend | am i doing my
all these pressures | my dad is am i being a good
all of these pressures just came
on top of me i just remember being in | all of these
do and the only thing i could do was
go to the floor | do and the only thing i could do
around my head and just crying
and just i remember saying to myself | around my head
why am i carrying on
and i just know that i called my mum
i just called my mum
and i said to her | i just called my mum
i i think i was even making sense i was
just crying | i i think i was even making sense i was
and she got in the car and she made sure
that my sister was on the phone to | and she got in
put the phone down
and i'm so glad that i made that phone
call | and i'm so glad that i made that phone
let's go my mom literally forced me to
talk to her about my feelings when i was | let's go
and she thought something might be up oh
yeah | and she thought something might be up oh
just in time i was 15 when i was first
prescribed antidepressants | just in time i was 15
i still remember the first time you took
me to the doctors to go and | i still remember the
00:34:32.720~00:34:34.320
00:34:34.320~00:34:36.480
it clinical
00:34:38.560~00:34:40.320
00:34:40.320~00:34:42.480
antidepressants
00:34:43.520~00:34:45.919
00:34:45.919~00:34:46.639
00:34:49.760~00:34:51.280
00:34:51.280~00:34:52.560
depression
00:34:54.960~00:34:57.280
00:34:57.280~00:34:58.240
00:35:03.760~00:35:06.320
00:35:06.320~00:35:07.920
about everything
00:35:10.400~00:35:12.160
00:35:12.160~00:35:13.839
because i didn't want a warrior
00:35:16.240~00:35:19.200
00:35:19.200~00:35:21.040
where you've seen me in
00:35:23.040~00:35:24.480
00:35:24.480~00:35:28.000
those
00:35:29.839~00:35:30.320
00:35:30.320~00:35:34.240
00:35:37.040~00:35:39.760
00:35:39.760~00:35:42.720
like
00:35:44.320~00:35:46.160
00:35:46.160~00:35:48.880
was just
00:35:50.160~00:35:51.760
00:35:51.760~00:35:54.720
like
00:35:56.839~00:35:59.839
00:36:00.079~00:36:05.520
00:36:07.280~00:36:09.119
00:36:09.119~00:36:10.720
because that day that i i
00:36:10.720~00:36:13.839
to the train station
00:36:17.280~00:36:20.800
00:36:21.359~00:36:24.960
00:36:24.960~00:36:28.320
believe you
00:36:35.839~00:36:38.880
00:36:38.880~00:36:42.079
mean so
00:36:50.640~00:36:52.960
00:36:52.960~00:36:54.000
though always
00:36:57.200~00:36:59.440
00:36:59.440~00:37:01.200
family whatsapp to ping
00:37:01.839~00:37:04.720
00:37:04.720~00:37:06.640
parents i like post on
you've got was it clinical
yeah clinical depression i mean no | you've got was
needs antidepressants
and maybe they feel guilty that even | needs
i did have a battle i remember saying to
dad | i did have a battle i remember saying to
wasn't that you suffered depression
because your life was bad | wasn't that you suffered
that's what i saw in you i saw mood
swings | that's what i saw in you i saw mood
although i speak to her about everything
i've never explained fully | although i speak to her
that's because i didn't want a warrior
but now i'm thinking that this sort of | that's
at air times where you've seen me in
such a state where you're worried at | at air times
few of those
yeah i mean how long ago was it when you | few of
down
and you were bad crying yeah | down
moments like
how dark it gets from my perspective no | moments
i just remember feeling like it was just
too much in my head | i just remember feeling like it
hard for me to tell you this like
because like it's hard | hard for me to tell you this
like
take a big breath and then let it out
it's hard because that day that i i
thought about going to the train station | it's hard
and jumping in front of a train | thought about going
oh sorry i never told you that but
but i still don't believe you
would do something like that | but i still don't
i know but you know that you mean so
much to me and dabro | i know but you know that you
nice to have you back home though always
did you leave home also | nice to have you back home
wait for that family whatsapp to ping
well we're we're busy again we've got | wait for that
on board we're parents i like post on
instagram and my first comment | on board we're
00:37:09.839~00:37:12.480
00:37:12.880~00:37:15.599
00:37:15.599~00:37:17.200
we've
00:37:21.040~00:37:25.280
00:37:25.280~00:37:28.560
like 13 14 yeah
00:37:30.400~00:37:32.000
00:37:32.000~00:37:34.240
00:37:36.960~00:37:39.520
00:37:39.520~00:37:41.520
that age and
00:37:44.720~00:37:45.200
00:37:45.200~00:37:46.400
00:37:48.000~00:37:49.599
00:37:49.599~00:37:53.119
ever really suffered
00:37:53.520~00:37:56.079
00:37:56.079~00:37:57.920
when i was sick yeah you know
00:37:59.359~00:38:01.839
00:38:01.839~00:38:03.599
and i was thoroughly depressed
00:38:05.920~00:38:06.800
00:38:06.800~00:38:09.920
00:38:11.839~00:38:14.720
00:38:14.720~00:38:16.960
am in a bubble and
00:38:20.400~00:38:22.800
00:38:22.800~00:38:24.640
what got you out
00:38:28.400~00:38:32.240
00:38:32.240~00:38:34.079
a an osteopath
00:38:36.320~00:38:39.839
00:38:39.839~00:38:42.000
he was talking to me i spent
00:38:43.839~00:38:45.440
00:38:45.440~00:38:47.760
i used to go cried my
00:38:50.240~00:38:51.680
00:38:51.680~00:38:54.560
realize that
00:38:56.000~00:38:58.800
00:38:58.800~00:39:00.720
what for me it was talking
00:39:03.599~00:39:05.200
00:39:05.200~00:39:05.760
00:39:07.920~00:39:09.359
00:39:09.359~00:39:11.839
here you know
00:39:12.400~00:39:14.640
00:39:14.640~00:39:16.000
we're doing
00:39:16.000~00:39:19.520
about it
00:39:21.680~00:39:25.119
00:39:25.119~00:39:27.760
it was really nice it was um
oh guys
my dad always asks me how i am but we've
never really had | my dad always asks me how i am but
younger like like 13 14 yeah
to becoming like an adult did your | younger like
talk about
their feelings or anything like that no | talk about
i think it was just part of that age and
part of that generation | i think it was just part of
ever
struggled mentally or do you think do | ever
think i've ever really suffered
and experienced depression apart from | think i've
afterwards when i was sick yeah you know
the few years that i had of recovery | afterwards
taken out and i was thoroughly depressed
you know it was completely on the floor | taken out
depression
depression for me made me feel like if i | depression
i would feel like i am in a bubble and
the world outside of my bubble | i would feel like i
i couldn't burst it and what got you out
of it what got happened | i couldn't burst it and
sent me to a an osteopath
an osteopath he was a therapist he was a | sent me to
and then as he was talking to me i spent
what i must have spent about four weeks | and then as
every day when i used to go cried my
eyes out come back and i felt better | every day when
sudden you realize that
this fog that is around you starts to | sudden you
the key was what for me it was talking
talking son yeah you had gone through | the key was
get out of the house and put that
somewhere | get out of the house and put that
sitting around here you know
is it's a form of therapy what we're | sitting around
yeah you know that's what we're doing
and uh chatting about it | yeah you know that's what
on that note what's for dessert | and uh chatting
that was it was really nice it was um
some conversations there that i've never | that was
00:39:29.440~00:39:31.440
00:39:31.440~00:39:33.359
heard my dad say to me before
00:39:34.000~00:39:37.119
00:39:37.119~00:39:39.119
you know i
00:39:41.119~00:39:43.040
00:39:43.040~00:39:45.760
00:39:46.240~00:39:48.640
00:39:48.640~00:39:49.440
00:39:52.720~00:39:54.160
00:39:54.160~00:39:56.400
of different ways to
00:39:56.400~00:39:59.760
00:40:05.440~00:40:07.200
00:40:07.200~00:40:09.040
we do right now to
00:40:10.800~00:40:12.400
00:40:12.400~00:40:16.400
could open the door to
00:40:17.520~00:40:20.079
00:40:20.079~00:40:21.520
lysander whose
00:40:21.520~00:40:25.839
00:40:30.400~00:40:31.839
00:40:31.839~00:40:33.359
you thanks so much for
00:40:35.839~00:40:38.880
00:40:38.880~00:40:40.560
ashley how did
00:40:42.800~00:40:44.160
00:40:44.160~00:40:46.880
were quite young
00:40:47.599~00:40:50.000
00:40:50.000~00:40:50.880
00:40:50.880~00:40:52.960
00:40:56.560~00:40:58.160
00:40:58.160~00:40:59.920
that that was your well
00:41:01.599~00:41:03.200
00:41:03.200~00:41:06.800
got even
00:41:07.680~00:41:10.079
00:41:11.119~00:41:14.400
00:41:14.880~00:41:21.839
00:41:25.200~00:41:28.480
00:41:28.480~00:41:30.480
that's ashley's dad yeah yeah
00:41:31.920~00:41:33.359
00:41:33.359~00:41:35.040
would say they're basically
00:41:35.599~00:41:37.680
00:41:37.680~00:41:39.119
are
00:41:41.440~00:41:42.160
00:41:42.160~00:41:46.079
00:41:46.079~00:41:50.720
it's still hard every day
00:41:50.800~00:41:52.720
i've never heard my dad say to me before
that for three years of his life he felt | i've never
he was in a bubble and like you know i
didn't know that my mum | he was in a bubble and like
to someone and
i didn't know that | to someone and
for me it was the doctor in medication
for my dad | for me it was the doctor in medication
and there are lots of different ways to
get yourself back on your feet | and there are lots
help is out there | get yourself back on your feet
but what can we do right now to
encourage guys to have more of these | but what can
chats that could open the door to
someone getting the help that they need | chats that
in reading i'm meeting lysander whose
childhood friend ashley | in reading i'm meeting
took his own life in 2017. | childhood friend ashley
good to meet you thanks so much for
chatting to me mate absolutely man no | good to meet
so lysander how do you no ashley how did
you know ashley so we met | so lysander how do you no
obviously we were quite young
yeah you kind this tree here when we | obviously we
yeah we said ah so high off it's so high
up yeah | yeah we said ah so high off it's so high
we | up yeah
would you say that that was your well
that was your best friend yeah 100 | would you say
ying and we've got even
young necklaces yeah hey funny party | ying and we've
stats
are you whistling yeah
yeah not too bad do you yeah
so that that's ashley's dad yeah yeah oh
man that's nice but you still see his | so that
oh
literally i would say they're basically
family to me at this point in time | literally i
yeah so yeah one big family man how are
they doing now | yeah so yeah one big family man how
then
um but it's it's still hard every day | then
i'm not gonna sugarcoat her and lie um | um but it's
we all take every day as it comes but
00:41:52.720~00:41:54.640
every day as it comes but
00:41:54.640~00:41:57.119
00:41:59.119~00:42:02.400
00:42:02.400~00:42:03.359
00:42:05.599~00:42:08.800
00:42:08.800~00:42:12.960
let's have a look at these
00:42:17.200~00:42:18.800
00:42:18.800~00:42:20.319
videos to be fair
00:42:22.079~00:42:23.520
00:42:23.520~00:42:25.119
everything yeah
00:42:27.040~00:42:29.440
00:42:29.440~00:42:30.880
i guess speaking to
00:42:32.319~00:42:34.319
00:42:34.319~00:42:36.319
get easier do you do you
00:42:38.640~00:42:39.599
00:42:39.599~00:42:42.240
00:42:44.000~00:42:46.240
00:42:46.240~00:42:47.920
we just sort of we still talk
00:42:48.560~00:42:50.800
00:42:50.800~00:42:52.240
memories i always like to think to
00:42:53.119~00:42:54.800
00:42:54.800~00:42:57.599
something that would be
00:43:00.240~00:43:01.599
00:43:01.599~00:43:02.800
fair
00:43:04.640~00:43:07.599
00:43:07.599~00:43:08.400
00:43:10.720~00:43:12.800
00:43:13.040~00:43:15.440
00:43:15.440~00:43:17.760
guys now do you kind of
00:43:19.760~00:43:21.359
00:43:21.359~00:43:24.079
we've done it anyway like
00:43:25.599~00:43:27.359
00:43:27.359~00:43:28.880
you were right but now
00:43:29.680~00:43:31.280
00:43:31.280~00:43:32.720
two okay so it's like hey
00:43:34.640~00:43:35.920
00:43:35.920~00:43:37.680
that's the
00:43:39.760~00:43:42.240
00:43:42.240~00:43:43.440
love that that's
00:43:45.119~00:43:46.640
00:43:46.640~00:43:49.920
a bit down
00:43:51.520~00:43:54.079
yeah it's still pretty difficult for | we all take
everyone | yeah it's still pretty difficult for
yo yo yo hello lysander's introducing me
to tom | yo yo yo hello lysander's introducing me
friends let's have a look at these
okay he was a hat in the gym type person | friends
i wish we had more videos to be fair
that's one thing i wish i had | i wish we had more
videos more everything yeah
ever since then we've got something | videos more
yeah yeah you know i guess speaking to
you guys i almost feel like i'm | yeah yeah you know
on does it get easier do you do you
start understanding those things more | on does it
still hard
like but i definitely find you know it | still hard
you know we just sort of we still talk
about him and we really really talk good | you know
funny memories i always like to think to
myself like what would actually say to | funny
and no it's something that would be
positive do you still speak to him | and no it's
lot to be fair
it's really weird it's like i'm really | lot to be
i get that a lot yeah um i haven't
dreamed about | i get that a lot yeah um i haven't
i'll
yeah exactly you guys now do you kind of
feel like you owe it to each other | yeah exactly you
before we've done it anyway like
we would but it wasn't as in-depth yeah | before
yeah we'd say you were right but now
you're like yeah are you actually all | yeah we'd say
we do have two okay so it's like hey
how's it going and it's like yeah i'm | we do have
yeah so that's the
how are you doing mentally though yeah | yeah so
things a bit harder i love that that's
that time where it's like | things a bit harder i
i i've been a bit down
the two okay rule if you don't mind i'm | i i've been
100 keep it i i'm gonna use that
00:43:54.079~00:43:55.440 honestly it does help because it does | 100 keep it i
i'm gonna use that
00:43:56.960~00:43:59.680 actually don't think i am okay and it's
00:43:59.680~00:44:00.960 a matter of | actually don't think i am okay and it's
00:44:02.960~00:44:04.720 okay to hear that someone else
00:44:04.720~00:44:08.400 isn't okay i wish i had said to joe | okay to hear
that someone else
00:44:12.160~00:44:13.839 i know you know this already but i need
00:44:13.839~00:44:15.280 to tell you again | i know you know this already but
i need
00:44:17.280~00:44:19.040 stuff it shouldn't have to be
00:44:19.040~00:44:21.040 a battle it should be normal for people | stuff it
shouldn't have to be
00:44:22.400~00:44:24.560 just talk about how they feel you know
00:44:24.560~00:44:26.160 the the difference between saving | just talk about
how they feel you know
00:44:27.119~00:44:29.359 just having a conversation about what's
00:44:29.359~00:44:30.720 making you feel | just having a conversation about
what's
00:44:32.960~00:44:34.640 difference to someone
00:44:34.640~00:44:37.839 you know | difference to someone
00:44:43.520~00:44:47.280 oh that's cold yeah a bit chilly
00:44:47.280~00:44:49.520 you know asking someone if they're okay | oh that's
cold yeah a bit chilly
00:44:51.680~00:44:54.880 every single day and we glaze over it
00:44:54.880~00:44:56.240 that's the fastest part of the | every single day and
we glaze over it
00:44:58.000~00:45:00.880 all right what's the real thing when
00:45:00.880~00:45:02.000 really that's | all right what's the real thing when
00:45:05.599~00:45:08.400 that that is the most important question
00:45:08.400~00:45:11.280 you can ask a friend | that that is the most
important question
00:45:12.640~00:45:15.760 when i first wanted to make this it was
00:45:15.760~00:45:16.560 for | when i first wanted to make this it was
00:45:19.200~00:45:20.720 someone that might be going through
00:45:20.720~00:45:23.119 something | someone that might be going through
00:45:23.359~00:45:25.040 but now the onus has changed from
00:45:25.040~00:45:27.200 someone having to talk about their own | but now the
onus has changed from
00:45:28.319~00:45:30.960 be the person that makes someone else
00:45:30.960~00:45:33.040 talk | be the person that makes someone else
00:45:34.560~00:45:37.119 be inside dying for someone to ask them
00:45:37.119~00:45:38.960 how they are | be inside dying for someone to ask
them
00:45:38.960~00:45:47.839 be that person | how they are
00:45:56.160~00:45:59.040 it was sad but reassuring to hear that
00:45:59.040~00:46:00.000 our friends can | it was sad but reassuring to hear
that
00:46:02.160~00:46:04.400 him
00:46:04.800~00:46:06.800 but how must it feel for those closest
00:46:06.800~00:46:08.240 to him | but how must it feel for those closest
00:46:08.240~00:46:15.839 i'm going to see joe's family | to him
00:46:26.960~00:46:29.359 know i know i know thank you so much
00:46:29.359~00:46:30.240 that's all right | know i know i know thank you so
much
00:46:30.240~00:46:32.640 thank you | that's all right
00:46:33.680~00:46:35.440 joe's sister lou has made an album
00:46:35.440~00:46:37.599 containing all of the amazing messages | joe's sister
lou has made an album
00:46:39.280~00:46:42.800
00:46:42.800~00:46:45.359
death oh is a nice one
00:46:46.640~00:46:48.560
00:46:48.560~00:46:50.720
birthday he would be in
00:46:51.280~00:46:53.680
00:46:53.680~00:46:55.839
00:46:57.760~00:46:58.960
00:46:58.960~00:47:00.480
00:47:02.160~00:47:03.119
00:47:03.119~00:47:04.960
00:47:06.319~00:47:08.319
00:47:08.319~00:47:11.440
that he's done some weird things
00:47:12.800~00:47:14.020
00:47:14.020~00:47:17.770
00:47:18.319~00:47:20.559
00:47:20.559~00:47:21.359
00:47:23.599~00:47:25.839
00:47:29.599~00:47:33.359
00:47:33.359~00:47:36.079
memories that i have with him
00:47:37.440~00:47:41.359
00:47:41.359~00:47:43.200
i wish that like
00:47:44.400~00:47:48.720
00:47:48.720~00:47:50.839
know it's very hard
00:47:52.160~00:47:54.160
00:47:54.160~00:47:56.079
it will never happen to you
00:47:59.119~00:48:01.440
00:48:01.440~00:48:02.160
00:48:05.119~00:48:05.440
00:48:05.440~00:48:09.599
00:48:11.119~00:48:14.160
00:48:14.480~00:48:17.520
00:48:17.520~00:48:20.559
sort of creeping panic
00:48:23.040~00:48:23.920
00:48:23.920~00:48:27.440
00:48:31.040~00:48:36.319
00:48:37.119~00:48:41.680
00:48:42.960~00:48:46.839
00:48:46.839~00:48:48.480
00:48:52.400~00:48:55.839
00:48:55.839~00:48:59.119
tell them that
00:49:01.440~00:49:03.599
00:49:03.599~00:49:07.200
help them
00:49:10.240~00:49:12.000
00:49:12.000~00:49:14.400
pain
00:49:16.480~00:49:20.079
00:49:20.079~00:49:22.079
family should have to do that
00:49:23.760~00:49:27.280
after his death oh is a nice one
i love that picture of him so cool yeah | after his
that was my birthday he would be in
charge of getting all the people that | that was my
allowed to come in getting them in and
he'd do it | allowed to come in getting them in and
comedy sketch
i always admired joe for that because | comedy sketch
life
this day was the one that he always | life
people that he's done some weird things
i think it was he got nicole scherzinger | people
scherzinger milk again
[Laughter] | scherzinger milk again
packed so much into his life didn't he
really it's | packed so much into his life didn't he
do
the memories that i have with him
are incredible and and every single one | the
so funny but i wish that like
i knew everything that was going on do | so funny but
i know that i know it's very hard
you know it's difficult to understand | i know that i
you think it will never happen to you
you know you hear these stories and you | you think
and you never think that you will be in
the same | and you never think that you will be in
you
are you just miss him very much really | you
you get this sort of
realization this sort of creeping panic
that you'll never hug him again | realization this
the fridge
and say what's for dinner mom yeah | the fridge
very sad you know about that
and wish it wasn't so sorry
he just wished that he wished that those
people | he just wished that he wished that those
well you just want to tell them that
they're loved and that people | well you just want to
out there who can help them
and not to go down a certain path | out there who can
to end their pain
it means you carry that pain for them | to end their
and no family should have to do that
my message really is to tell people who | and no
stay and get help because help is out
00:49:27.280~00:49:27.760
00:49:30.800~00:49:31.280
00:49:31.280~00:49:33.839
00:49:35.520~00:49:38.960
00:49:38.960~00:49:45.839
want to say
00:49:52.000~00:49:53.760
00:49:53.760~00:49:55.520
process of
00:49:57.920~00:49:59.359
00:49:59.359~00:50:01.200
00:50:03.839~00:50:05.680
00:50:05.680~00:50:08.559
other
00:50:10.720~00:50:13.839
00:50:18.240~00:50:20.319
00:50:20.319~00:50:22.640
learning is currently at
00:50:24.839~00:50:26.160
00:50:26.160~00:50:29.119
00:50:30.480~00:50:31.440
00:50:31.440~00:50:33.599
00:50:34.720~00:50:37.520
00:50:37.520~00:50:38.960
00:50:41.440~00:50:42.960
00:50:42.960~00:50:43.839
00:50:46.880~00:50:48.960
00:50:48.960~00:50:50.720
school's top priorities is to
00:50:52.960~00:50:55.040
00:50:55.040~00:50:56.800
disguise them and talking
00:51:00.079~00:51:03.200
00:51:03.200~00:51:05.280
it's all
00:51:08.319~00:51:10.559
00:51:10.559~00:51:11.920
because
00:51:14.000~00:51:15.040
00:51:15.040~00:51:17.200
man up
00:51:18.400~00:51:21.520
00:51:21.520~00:51:24.559
well done so if you're feeling
00:51:26.079~00:51:28.240
00:51:28.240~00:51:30.480
could
00:51:33.760~00:51:36.800
00:51:36.800~00:51:37.680
00:51:40.720~00:51:44.240
00:51:44.240~00:51:46.319
period of time
00:51:48.000~00:51:51.520
00:51:51.520~00:51:53.359
that are depressed
00:51:55.680~00:51:56.559
00:51:56.559~00:51:57.839
things that they were
00:51:59.280~00:52:01.359
there | stay and get help because help is out
them
and they don't want them to go they want | them
and that's that's what i want to say
is please stay don't go | and that's that's what i
joe's family are in the process of
setting up a charity | joe's family are in the
line
it will bring mental health workshops | line
encourage kids to talk to each other
about their emotions | encourage kids to talk to each
see what this might look like
mental health learning is currently at
individual schools discretion | mental health
center
right so today for phsc we are going to | center
emotions
i'm in tamworth at the will the coat | emotions
to sit in on one of their year six pshe
classes | to sit in on one of their year six pshe
does he start doing now what's what's my
hulk doing | does he start doing now what's what's my
one of the school's top priorities is to
ensure pupils know that negative | one of the
we shouldn't disguise them and talking
about them should be normal as well | we shouldn't
come out alex tears yeah and it's all
right to cry because | come out alex tears yeah and
that it's not all right to cry because
they're told that | that it's not all right to cry
a man and man up
and actually it's the right to cry and | a man and
good boy well done so if you're feeling
sad for a week okay or or longer longer | good boy
what is that still sadness what could
that be classed as | what is that still sadness what
okay what is depression it's basically
like | okay what is depression it's basically
for like a long period of time
yeah it's feeling really really sad | for like a long
people that are depressed
there were genuine moments where i was a | people
some of the things that they were
talking about some of the topics they | some of the
i don't think i've ever heard a kid talk
00:52:01.359~00:52:03.359
heard a kid talk
00:52:06.480~00:52:08.000
00:52:08.000~00:52:10.640
beginning it was almost like i
00:52:11.760~00:52:13.839
00:52:13.839~00:52:15.760
they had to
00:52:18.319~00:52:21.280
00:52:21.920~00:52:24.160
00:52:24.160~00:52:25.920
is ahead of the curve and
00:52:27.599~00:52:29.839
00:52:29.839~00:52:31.920
generation of younger boys
00:52:33.520~00:52:46.079
00:52:46.079~00:52:50.240
hope
00:52:51.920~00:52:54.480
00:52:54.480~00:52:55.119
00:52:57.520~00:52:59.359
00:52:59.359~00:53:01.040
that's really easy that is
00:53:01.839~00:53:04.240
00:53:04.240~00:53:06.079
to check in on their friends
00:53:06.400~00:53:09.200
00:53:09.200~00:53:10.960
struggling one conversation
00:53:11.839~00:53:14.720
00:53:14.720~00:53:18.160
effect on others i want to
00:53:18.800~00:53:22.640
00:53:22.640~00:53:22.960
00:53:26.319~00:53:28.640
00:53:28.640~00:53:29.760
00:53:33.119~00:53:34.640
00:53:34.640~00:53:36.240
far as saying that that's the
00:53:38.319~00:53:41.599
00:53:41.599~00:53:42.319
00:53:45.839~00:53:47.040
00:53:47.040~00:53:49.200
lost someone and
00:53:50.800~00:53:53.440
00:53:53.440~00:53:54.000
00:53:55.680~00:53:58.160
00:53:58.160~00:53:59.760
i'm asking you to do
00:54:02.800~00:54:04.559
00:54:04.559~00:54:07.280
they're all right ask if they're
00:54:11.280~00:54:15.280
00:54:15.280~00:54:19.040
they look me posting on
00:54:20.720~00:54:22.400
00:54:22.400~00:54:23.760
hope anything
00:54:25.520~00:54:27.280
about depression before | i don't think i've ever
at the beginning it was almost like i
had that you know innate feeling of | at the
that young but hearing what they had to
say on a topic that | that young but hearing what
really inspirational
this school is ahead of the curve and
has put mental health at the center of | this school
and seeing a generation of younger boys
coming up who feel confident to talk | and seeing a
gives me some hope
very creased my mum will not be happy | gives me some
i've learned so much over the past few
months and | i've learned so much over the past few
do right now that's really easy that is
simple and it's just putting a message | do right now
ask people to check in on their friends
you don't know if one of your best mates | ask people
is really struggling one conversation
could stop someone from doing something | is really
has a huge effect on others i want to
post the video that i wish i'd seen | has a huge
hello um you may or may not have seen
but | hello um you may or may not have seen
my friend joe producer joe as you may
know him | my friend joe producer joe as you may
i'd go as far as saying that that's the
lowest i've ever been it was the lowest | i'd go as
and since then i met some incredible
guys | and since then i met some incredible
that had lost someone and
and now they have their own rule where | that had
twice and i love that and i wanted to
share that | twice and i love that and i wanted to
is so good so what i'm asking you to do
is do what they told me which is | is so good so what
see if they're all right ask if they're
okay twice that's all i'm asking today | see if
it's done don't they look me posting on
social media is not gonna solve | it's done don't
know you you hope anything
good that you put out there has that | know you you
even if one person that sees this post
00:54:27.280~00:54:29.440
sees this post
00:54:31.200~00:54:34.000
00:54:34.000~00:54:36.240
feel like i've won
00:54:37.680~00:54:39.440
00:54:39.440~00:54:41.920
there for them
00:54:42.559~00:54:45.440
00:54:45.440~00:54:46.400
00:54:47.920~00:54:49.440
00:54:49.440~00:54:50.559
said
00:54:52.559~00:54:54.160
00:54:54.160~00:54:56.559
00:54:58.960~00:55:00.720
00:55:00.720~00:55:04.720
normally get love this has your
00:55:04.880~00:55:06.720
00:55:06.720~00:55:08.319
that which
00:55:10.079~00:55:12.240
00:55:12.240~00:55:14.480
time if they're okay
00:55:14.480~00:55:18.480
out he is really struggling
00:55:19.359~00:55:21.119
00:55:21.119~00:55:24.880
felt so alone but asking
00:55:25.839~00:55:28.079
00:55:28.079~00:55:29.359
know that's
00:55:31.920~00:55:34.079
00:55:34.079~00:55:35.839
to
00:55:37.520~00:55:39.680
00:55:39.680~00:55:40.880
00:55:42.799~00:55:45.040
00:55:46.240~00:55:49.599
00:55:49.599~00:55:52.880
struggling it's okay to cry
00:55:55.920~00:55:57.280
00:55:57.280~00:56:00.720
00:56:03.599~00:56:06.559
00:56:06.559~00:56:08.240
bit to help as well
00:56:08.240~00:56:10.559
00:56:13.119~00:56:16.079
00:56:28.640~00:56:30.640
00:56:30.640~00:56:32.880
relief funds many charities in the
00:56:35.200~00:56:36.799
00:56:36.799~00:56:39.000
continue their work and
00:56:40.480~00:56:44.240
00:56:44.240~00:56:46.400
pounds text give to 70220
00:56:48.480~00:56:50.160
00:56:50.160~00:56:51.839
today calls their friend | even if one person that
then i'll feel like i've won
paul's just said just checked in with a | then i'll
know i'm always there for them
there you go one person says done | know i'm always
on a good friend who lives alone oh this
is nice | on a good friend who lives alone oh this
turned around and thanked me for it said
love you mate | turned around and thanked me for it
is
nice just lots of people saying they're | is
oh my i normally get love this has your
dad no one's asked about my dad yet | oh my i
hey roman i did exactly that which
resulted in an old friend | hey roman i did exactly
second time if they're okay
only to find out he is really struggling | second
and feeling so low and even suicidal | only to find
saying they felt so alone but asking
twice really did make that difference | saying they
it is amazing i mean you know that's
already that videos have | it is amazing i mean you
that that translates into phone calls to
people today | that that translates into phone calls
that have their mates it is just that
thing of | that have their mates it is just that
feel
if you're struggling it's okay to cry
and it's okay not to feel great | if you're
your mates
family or professionals | your mates
can do our bit to help as well
so let's start by asking the question | can do our
today | so let's start by asking the question
are you okay roman
comic relief funds many charities in the
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donate 10 pounds text the word give to | to help them
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00:56:54.319~00:56:55.280 comic relief
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00:56:58.319~00:57:00.079 for full terms and conditions more
00:57:00.079~00:57:02.160 information or to donate any amount | for full terms
and conditions more
00:57:03.280~00:57:06.079 visit bbc dot code uk forward slash red
00:57:06.079~00:57:13.680 visit bbc dot code uk forward slash red