Reading into Writing: The Summary

To write the summary, you need to understand what you have read, and use
strategies in expressing your ideas. Combining sentences using appropriate structures
can help you express your ideas smoothly. Sometimes, you experience that bumpy,
choppy feeling if you write sentences using only the sentential units.

Sentence variety helps deliver your ideas smoothly. To achieve sentence variety,
you need to understand the different kinds of sentences according to structure. A
simple sentence has only one independent clause (complete sentence) ; a
compound sentence has two independent clauses joined by coordinating
conjunctions and, but, nor, for, so and yet. A complex sentence is a combination of
one independent clause and at least one dependent clause (an adjective, adverbial or
noun clause). A compound-complex is a combination of a compound sentence and a
complex sentence.

“A Vietnamese refugee who moved to the
United States when she was just eight,
Rose assumed she’d follow in the
footsteps of her physician father.”
From Money Makers: The Risk-Taker by
Maria Bartimoro, Reader’s Digest, May
2007 p.19
This sentence contains one independent
clause: “Rose assumed.” It has an
adjective clause: who moved to the United
States; adverbial clause:” when she was
just eight, and a noun clause “that she’d
follow in the footsteps of her physician
father. This sentence is a complex
sentence.

Lesson 12

Combining Sentences: Using Adjective and Adverbial

Clauses
Objectives:

At the end of the lesson you are expected to:

a. recognize adjective and adverbial clauses; and

b. combine simple sentences using adjective and adverbial clause.

Study the following charts to understand how to combine sentences using adjective
clauses.
Relative pronoun as the subject of an adjective clause

Statement 1 Statement 2 Sentences with

an Adjective
Clause
Person Foreigners enjoy Foreigners can Foreigners who can
their vacation. understand the understand the
native language of native language of
the country. the country enjoy
their vacation.
Animal That cat looks That cat is running That cat which
playful. toward us. (that) is running
toward us looks
playful.
Inanimate The story is very It takes domestic The story which
long. violence. (that) tackles
domestic violence is
very long.

Relative pronoun as the possessive modifier of a noun

Statement 1 Statement 2 Sentence with an

adjective clause
Person The teacher is Mrs. Her daughter is a The teacher whose
Cruz. scholar. daughter is a
scholar is Mrs. Cruz.
The teacher is Mrs. I met her daughter The teacher whose
Cruz. yesterday. daughter I met
yesterday is Mrs.
Cruz.
Animal The dog is barking. Its paw was hit by a That dog whose
car. paw was hit by a
car is barking.
Inanimate The experiment was Its procedure was The experiment
finished on time. complicated. whose procedure
was complicated
was finished on
time.
Relative pronoun that refers to the subject or object of the sentence, a place,
or the object of a preposition

Statement 1 Statement 2 Sentences with

an adjective
clause
Person That man is my best The teachers admire That man whom the
friend. him. teachers admire is
my best friend.
Animal The elephant is We saw it. The elephant which
exceptionally large (that) we saw is
exceptionally large.
Inanimate The town house is You bought it. The town house
far from Angeles which (that) you
City. bought is from from
ANGELES city
Place I visited the Many tourists enjoy I visited the
mountain. it. mountain which
(that) many tourists
They went to the Jose Rizal dies enjoy.
park. there.
They went to the
park where our
national hero died.
Object of The man is my You gave your The man to whom
preposition boss. business card to you gave your
him. business card is my
boss.

Grammar Points

1. Two sentences can be combined into one by making one sentence an adjective
clause.
2. An adjective clause follows the noun it modifies.
3. An adjective clause has a subject and a verb.
4. Appropriate relative pronouns are used.
5. When the relative pronoun functions as the object in the clause, it is sometimes
omitted.

Ex. 1.The book is interesting. I like it. The book (that) I like is interesting.

2. The man is my best friend. Teachers admire him. That man (whom) teachers
admire is my best friend.
 6. If the noun modified by the adjective clause is already particular, the adjective
clause is punctuated with commas.

Ex. Mrs. Castro, who received the research grant, will talk about her research.

Using Adverbial Clauses

• Two sentences can be joined by using an adverbial conjunction.

• Generally, adverbial clauses are movable.
• A comma is used at the end of an introductory adverbial clause.
Example:
If it rains, the students will come late.
The students will come late if it rains.

Adverbial Conjunctions

• Cause: as, because, since

• Condition: if/unless
• Opposition/concession: Although, even if, though, whether or not
• Place : where, whenever
• Purpose: so that, in order that
• Time: as, after, before, since, when, whenever

Abstraction:

What is an adjective clause and adverbial clause?

Application:

A. Direction: Combine the sentences using adjective clause (s). Punctuate the
adjective clauses with commas where necessary.
1. The students are interested in joining the contest. Their teacher is one of the
organizers.
2. The park is being renovated to attract local tourists. Our national hero, Jose
Rizal, was shot there.
3. The commentator was really perceptive and critical. I prefer him.
4. The book is missing. You talked about it yesterday.
5. The man became the head of the research team. He invented a machine. The
machine could do a lot of data processing.
B. Direction: Combine the sentences using adverbial clauses.
1. This man is your friend. / He will give you the answer.
 2. The laborers will try to finish the construction of the bridge as soon as possible. /
They are tired.
3. They have been living in the country. / They were children.
4. If Chad had the money. / He would have enrolled in a university in the United
States.
5. She changed her profession. / She wanted to leave the country.

PART 4

ACCOMPLISHING ACADEMIC TASKS

Writers are born, not created. Writing does not come easy to anyone. No one
sits down in front of the computer and magically discovers clear, effective, and
organized ideas. Even the most well-known writers struggle to figure out what they
want to say and then how to say it. Whether you were born with the “gift of writing” or
your writing has been enhanced by practice, still writing requires you to follow basic
rules in order to continually improve your talent skill.

Lesson 13

The Writing Process

Objectives:

At the end of the lesson, you are expected to:

a. identify the basic steps in the writing process; and

b. use clustering to explore a given topic.

Life has been teaching a lot of things which you can write about. You are
equipped with memories, ideas, emotions, questions, and experiences. When you feel
like you have nothing to write, this does not mean that your head is empty. This only
means that you have to go through the writing process. It is a process because it does
not happen with a snap of a finger. There are different stages of writing.

Every writer must always consider the situation. The components of the writing
situation include the writer’s purpose, the readers or audience, the topic or subject, and
the writer himself/herself.

The following model shows the four components. These components must be
considered in every stage of writing.
 THE WRITING SITUATION

PURPOSE AUDIENCE SUBJECT WRITER

Purpose

When you write a business letter, your main objective is to transmit information.
You write letters or e-mails to your friends to keep in touch; you write in your diary or
journal to record events, thoughts and feelings; and you complete a term paper for a
college course impress your professors with relevant information. All kinds of writing
require specific goals. This is the crucial part where you have to maintain a clear,
specific objective whatever piece of writing you are working on.

Audience

As writer, you must not take your intended readers for granted. The more you
think about your readers, the more you will make yourself clear. Writing is effective
only when the readers receive and understand what the writer intends to send.

Thoughtful writers always put themselves in their readers’ place to best

communicate the ideas and emotions they seek to convey. Having enough readers,
writers will know how much information their audience need or do not need to
understand their message. They also try to answer the questions that their readers may
ask.

Subject

When you write, your subject is about someone or something. Sometimes, you
write about yourself: your own interest, feelings, experiences, values and others.
However, much of your academic work will require you to respond to ideas presented in
books, classroom discussions, or research assignments. In order to develop your
subject, you do your research mostly in the internet. Not all online sources are reliable,
however. As a writer, you must evaluate your sources because the quality of your
writing is dependent on the quality of your thinking as you process ideas and present
them to your readers. Your subject must be well-developed and explained to inform and
communicate your views to your audience effectively.

Writer

Your identity or personality as a writer is revealed by your words, tone

approaches, and attitudes in writing. Your characteristics as a writer will influence not
only what is written but also your intended readers. You may sound so confident if you
are writing about yourself. You automatically have the authority because you know
yourself more than anyone else. But many college writing assignments call for subjects
outside yourself and you are still expected to write with authority. Make sure you have
solid information about the subject you write about. You can draw needed information
from the library and the Internet and by doing so, you become knowledgeable on
almost any subject.

Creative thinking and critical thinking work together to produce thoughtful

writing. When you decide to write something, your previous knowledge about it will be
your initial ideas to begin with. By being creative, you can produce as much ideas as
you can. You can generate and connect these ideas that are useful, unusual, and worth
developing.

Drafting and the Writing Task

Basic Steps

Despite the many different writing methods, the basic steps in the writing
process remain constant:

1. generating ideas/ finding a topic

2. stating the main idea or thesis/ finding your topic

3. organizing ideas

4. drafting/ writing the draft

5. proofreading, editing, and revising

Generating Ideas

Writing starts with identifying your topic or subject. At this stage of generating
ideas, a number of strategies are useful, such as brainstorming, clustering, freewriting,
and asking the Wh-/H questions to stimulate your creative thinking. Whether you are
responding to an assigned topic or reading selection, you are expected to provide your
readers original views. You need to be open-minded, creative, curious but critical.

The following may help you generate ideas:

1. Brainstorming
Brainstorming is exploring your mind with ideas no matter how remote,
unconnected or foolish an idea may seem. There are no rules in brainstorming.
All you have to do is write whatever comes into your mind. No idea is judged or
analyzed or discarded.
Steps in brainstorming
1. Write your topic at the top of a piece of paper.
2. Jot down words and ideas as they come to you.

Example:

Topic: Getting a Bachelor’s Degree

Set my goals

Put education before social life

Have determination and patience

Be motivated

Improve study skills

Be focused

Don’t procrastinate

Do and submit all school requirements

Don’t be frustrated with school assignments

Self-discipline

Attend classes on time

Don’t miss classes

3. Clustering
Clustering is similar to brainstorming. While brainstorming involves
putting ideas on a list, clustering involves putting them in circles. You start at
the center of your paper. The center circle contains the topic. Generate and
connect other ideas from the original topic. Use arrows to make connections.
Steps in clustering
1. Write your topic or key idea in the middle of the paper circle it.
2. Concentrate on the idea in the circle. Around it, write other ideas that
come to mind.
3. Circle each of those ideas and connect them with the main idea.
 4. Concentrate on each new idea you have written and see what other ideas
emerge. Write these ideas, circle them, and connect them with an arrow
to circles they relate to.

Example:

Abstraction:

• What are the basic steps in the writing process?

Activity: Use clustering to explore one of the following topics.

1. A teacher or a friend who inspired you

2. Television program that has a positive or negative effect on children
3. Your advice to the youth

Lesson 14

Freewriting
Objectives:

At the end of the lesson you are expected to:

a. recognize the steps in freewriting; and

b. freewrite a certain topic given.
In your previous learning, what is freewriting?

Freewriting is writing continuously without thinking about rules on spelling,

grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, and organization. When you freewrite, you
explore ideas discovered in brainstorming and clustering. Other writers begin
freewriting immediately. The choice is yours; do whatever works for you.

Here are the steps in Freewriting:

1. Think of your topic and start writing whatever comes to your mind.
2. If new idea emerges, start writing about that idea. Your writing does not have to
make sense to anyone else. It does not have to be logical. Freewriting is
experimenting.

Example:

This is a student’s freewriting about the topic “My Dream.”

I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. Teaching children to read and write. A noble
profession. It may not be a high-paying profession. This does not discourage me. I see myself
inside the classroom assisting my pupils do their work. Like writing a short essay. Make the
classroom activities fun and enjoyable. This is what I want to do. I will not regret getting old in
this profession.

Abstraction: What is freewriting? What are the steps in free-writing?

Application: Freewrite your responses to one of the following topics. Choose only 1.

1. A good friend or a dear classmate is someone who….

2. If I had superpowers, I would…
3. What I value the most
Congratulations you did it!

Lesson 15

WH-/H Questions
Objectives:

At the end of the lesson, you are able to:

 a. identify the essential steps in using Wh-/H-questions as a
strategy in exploring ideas of a certain topic; and
b. use Wh-/H questions as a strategy to explore your ideas on a
given topic.

Who? What? Where? When? Why? and How? are questions used in
covering a story. The reporter’s questions are especially helpful in digging for additional
details about an idea you have discovered through brainstorming, clustering, or
freewriting. Not all questions may apply to the particular paper you are working on, and
often the answers to the questions will overlap. That is fine. The reporter’s questions
are not rigid questions with rigid answers; there is no right or wrong answer. Use the
question creatively and see what they help you discover.

Steps in using Wh-/H- Questions

1. Write your topic on a piece of paper.

2. Ask each of the following questions and jot down your immediate response. If
the question seems to open possibilities, explore further by freewriting.
Example: If your topic is about the importance of learning the English language,
you may ask:
Who?
Who can help me learn English?
What?
What are the benefits I get from learning the English language?
What other opportunities can I get if I learn English?
Where?
Where could I learn better English?
Where did English originate?
When?
When is the best time to learn English?
Why?
Why do I need to learn English?
Why is this important?
How?
How do I improve my English?
How would English help me as a communicator?

Abstraction:

• What are the essential steps in using Wh-/H-questions as a strategy in exploring

ideas of a certain topic?
 Since you have already read and studied how this strategy to be done, do
the activity below.

Activity: Choose one of the following topics and explore your ideas about it by asking
Wh-/H-questions. Choose only 1 topic.

1.The value of hospitality.

2. The worst decision you ever made or mistake you ever committed

Who?__________________________________________________

What?_________________________________________________

Where?________________________________________________

When?_________________________________________________

Lesson 16

Stating the Main Idea

Objectives:

At the end of the lesson you are expected to:

a. distinguish and revise a faulty thesis statement to a correct one; and

b. write supporting ideas to a thesis statement given.

After generating a number of possible ideas to write about, academic writers need to
state clearly their main idea. Academic writing requires a focus; classmates, professors,
and others interested in your subject expect more than a list of facts. Once you have
selected your main idea, you will organize and direct your thinking. The main idea
guides you in developing your topic or subject. It is suggested that you do some
drafting and organizing before stating your thesis.

You write the main idea in a sentence. The thesis statement or topic sentence states
the topic and controlling idea. The controlling idea directs the writer in the discussion
and tells readers the point of the topic.

The main idea of the paragraph is the topic sentence. If your writing is more
developed and covers a number of paragraphs, the main idea is called a thesis
statement. Whether your writing is one paragraph or many paragraphs long, readers
need to know your main idea.
Example:

Point/Controlling Idea

Topic

Living in a dormitory teaches me to become independent and responsible.

Malnutrition causes mental retardation.

Smoking cigarette is dangerous to our health.

Exercise 1: Recognizing the Thesis Statement

Directions: Read the following passage and understand what a thesis statement is.
Then, revise the faulty thesis statement below.

An essay may have an explicit or implicit thesis statement. A thesis statement

gives the general, and the controlling idea of the composition. An essay which
specifically states its thesis statement at the beginning of the essay provides the limiting
idea of the composition. Certain literary works and personal essays do not necessarily
state their thesis at the beginning of the essay.

A thesis statement should be:

• a complete declarative sentence

• a specific idea but not too limited
• a fresh and interesting opinion of the writer on a topic

Faulty Thesis Statement Revised Thesis Statement

I like this movie.

(This thesis statement lacks

freshness and specificity; it is not
limited. Just state your general
opinion about the movie)

Filipino nurses

This thesis statement is not a

complete declarative sentence; the
limiting idea is not stated.)
Exercise 2: Developing Support for the Thesis Statement

Study the outline below. Notice that the thesis statement includes all of the
sentences in the supporting sentences. This is called the essay map. Most thesis
statements do not include the essay map because the essay becomes redundant or
wordy. However, some writers still indicate the ideas to be discussed in the body of the
essay to give their readers a clear preview of what to expect in the body of the essay.

Example:

Thesis Statement: Elections can be very disappointing because cheating and vote-
buying are rampant; the electoral process is a big hassle; and the candidates who are
popular lack the competencies to lead the country.

Supporting Ideas:

A. Vote-buying activities make this democratic process rather disappointing.

B. The complex electoral process discourages the voters to exercise their right to
vote.
C. The candidates who have the high probability of winning barely possess the
minimum qualifications of competent public servants.

Provide supporting ideas for each of the thesis statements.

Thesis Statement: MTRCB should ban TV programs featuring women in bikinis and sexy
outfits.

Supporting Ideas:

A.___________________________________________________________

B.___________________________________________________________

C.____________________________________________________________

D.___________________________________________________________

Lesson 17

Organizing and Developing Ideas

Objectives:

At the end of the lesson you are able to:

 a. identify the paragraph organization patterns; and
b. write a draft of a five-paragraph essay on a topic of your choice.

When you have stated your tentative thesis, you may start organizing your paper.
But to fulfill the purpose of your paper, you need to generate more ideas or to consult
other sources of information. At this point, you may think about your main points, and
how they should be presented to your readers. You can use a variety of paragraph
development methods as you organize your writing, such as reporting
chronologically, comparing and contrasting, or dividing and classifying. Your
choice of writing method will depend on the subject you are exploring, your purpose,
and your audience.

This process of organization will guide your drafting but your organization will still
change as you draft and revise your writing.

Use a map in listing your main and supporting ideas. After listing the supporting
details, arrange them in an outline. A map is a sketch outline of your ideas. A writer
uses map to guide his/her way on paper just like a traveler who uses a map to guide
him/her on the road. The map will show the writer how to get where he/she wants to
go and to keep him/her on track while writing the draft. Always start your outline with
the main idea and then supporting details.

Example:

Main Idea:

____________________________________________________

Supporting Details:

___________________________________________________

Conclusion:

____________________________________________________

Topic: The Writing Process

Thesis Statement: The writing process involves three stages: prewriting, writing and
post writing.

I. Prewriting stage
A. Finding a topic
B. Specifying a topic
 C. Formulating Ideas
D. Gathering details
E. Organizing the details

II. Writing the Draft

III. Post-writing stage
A. Proofreading
B. Editing
C. Revising
IV. Conclusion

You may use any of the paragraph organization patterns that fit your topic.

Time Order

The writer begins with the events that took place first; then moves toward the
events that happened later. Words such as first, second, next, then, and after will
help you indicate the passage of time.

Space Order

The writer arranges the details according
selecting top, down, left/right, north/south, far/
dream house, you might begin by describing
garden, the playground, the bedrooms, music
room, kitchen, and other facilities.
to the way they are physically placed,
near, etc. If you are writing about your
the main entrance, the hallways, the
and library rooms, living room, dining

Order of Importance

The writer may start from the most important to the least important idea or can
reverse the order. But some authors place the most important last to create an impact
or have a forceful, strong or dynamic ending.

After writing the main idea, the next problem that a writer faces is how to
develop it. There are a number of ways to develop an idea. A writer may use
description, narration, persuasion or giving reasons, giving examples or
illustration, cause and effect, classification, process, analogy or comparison
and contrast.

After you have decided how you will develop your main idea and have arranged the
supporting details in an outline, it is time to write these ideas in a paragraph form. A
first draft is a practice paper where you explore and experiment.
Writing the Draft

The purpose of drafting is to begin the writing process. Drafting begins when you
actually put words on paper. What is important in drafting is to do it. Your familiarity
with the subject will reveal how far your thinking on the subject will progress. Trusting
your writing skill and thinking process will lead you to enrich your plan and ideas. You
do not have to construct perfect sentences because your draft may undergo several
revisions. But as you draft, keep the following questions in mind:

1. What is my main idea?

2. Is my explanation enough to have a fully developed idea?
3. Do I have sufficient examples, evidence, and arguments to support the main
idea?
4. Do I have a conclusion? Is it a good one?

Abstraction:

• What are the paragraph organization patterns?

Activity:

Instruction: Having read and understanding all the necessary points in organizing
and developing ideas, I want you to write a draft of a five-paragraph essay on a topic of
your choice. Good luck!

Lesson 18

Proofreading, Revising, and Finalizing the Draft

Objectives:

At the end of the lesson you are expected to:

a. identify the transition words used in connecting ideas; and

b. write a five-paragraph essay on a topic of your choice.

Proofreading is identifying errors in your paper while editing is correcting these

errors. The first draft is just a starting point. Some writers need multiple drafts to
increase the levels of effectiveness; others can get things done in good shape quickly.
Whatever your writing style is, you need to refine your writing. Revise your drafts as
clearly as possible. Check the spelling, punctuations, sentence forms, paragraph
divisions, transitions, etc.

If you find it difficult to look objectively at your piece of writing, ask a reader to
proofread it. You may know what you mean, you may like your words, sentences, and
your ideas which you don’t want to change, but as a thoughtful writer you may need to
make major changes to benefit your readers.

If you decide to revise your own work, consider the following questions which
could help as you write your draft.

1. Have I stated my main idea clearly?

2. Have I proved my point to my readers? Do I have enough information and
examples?
3. Do I need to rearrange any of my ideas to help my audience understand my
paper more easily?

Writing is effective only if readers understand the writer’s ideas. As you write your
draft, keep in mind the reader’s needs and expectations. Begin with your main idea and
stick to it. Get adequate specific evidence, connect your evidence, and write a
conclusion. You can connect ideas by using transitions, words or sentences that show
the relationship between ideas.

Here are some examples of transition words:

Transition Words

When including examples:

To introduce your example— To connect examples—

for example also, as well as

for instance another example of

specifically next, in addition to, similarly

not only…but also

_______________________________________________________________________
When telling a story or explaining a process:

after during last since as

eventually later soon as soon as finally

meanwhile then at last first next

when before following now while

When persuading with reasons:

To introduce your reasons-- To conclude your argument—

first (second, third…) consequently, hence

another, in addition therefore

because, since in conclusion

last, finally clearly, above all

_______________________________________________________________________
When writing about effects:

as a result hence then thus

consequently so therefore because

When comparing or contrasting:

To indicate similarities-- To indicate differences—

similar to equally on the other hand different from

like also on the contrary but

just as too instead of although

unlike whereas

When concluding your paper:

In conclusion evidently clearly finally

Writing your Conclusion

 Conclusions bring a piece of writing to a definite, satisfying end. Effective
conclusions refer back to the main idea to create unity, coherence, and a sense that the
writing has come full circle. Conclusions also focus readers’ attention on the
significance of what has been written.

Three Possibilities in Writing a Conclusion

Read your paper, pay close attention to the main idea stated at the beginning, and
consider one of the following:

1. Include an insight that readers would not have understood before reading your
paper. To find an effective insight, read your paper, ask yourself, “So what?” and
then answer that question.
2. Repeat a keyword from the main idea.
3. Restate the main idea in different words and from a slightly different angle or
point of view.

As you draft your conclusion, follow these three guidelines.

1. Do not restate the main idea word for word. That kind of repetition is boring for
readers and suggests that you do not see the significance of your point.
2. Do not simply tell readers what they have just read (“As you can see from what I
have written…”). This approach is unnecessary and can offend readers’
intelligence.
3. Do not conclude by stating a new idea and something not previously discussed
so as not to confuse your readers.

Revising

One of the best strategies in revising your paper is to get your readers’
comments. In school, you may ask your classmates, friends, or peers to see
whether your draft needs improvement. At home you may also ask anyone from
home and ask their comments.

Guidelines for Peer Review (groups of three or four members)

a. Choose someone from your group to keep the time. You may allot 10-15
minutes to each writer. Strictly follow the time given to each writer.
b. A student reads his/her work aloud while the group members listen. (Reading
the paper may be done twice depending on the availability of time.)
c. The members write their comments on a clean sheet of paper.
 d. The writer-student then will ask and take notes of the members’ observation,
comments or reactions. He /She may ask them questions such as “What else
do I need to include in my discussion?” “Was I able to make my experience
vivid to my readers?” Are there other questions you want to ask about my
experience?” And other questions that may help you improve your paper.

After the peer review activity, you should rewrite your draft right away considering
the peer group members’ comments and questions. If you have more time, the first
revised work must be put aside before having another revision. It is important that you
rest your brain to relax and then reflect on what have been written.

Your ideas are more developed in an essay form than in a paragraph paper. It is a
better way of discovering and expressing what you think, feel and see.

The figure below shows how the parts of an essay work together. It is the basic
pattern or formula which students learn in their high school writing course. It may have
restricted from writing longer, more complex and logical ideas but this simple scheme
provides the students a format to start with. The main idea is presented in the
introductory paragraph. The supporting details are given in the body or supporting
paragraphs, and the conclusion in the concluding paragraph.

The Essay Model

_____________________________________________________

The Introductory Paragraph

First Write your main idea in a sentence.

Paragraph State your purpose and provide a brief background.

____________________________________________________

The Body or Supporting Paragraphs

Second Begin with a topic sentence.

Support each topic with specific evidence.

Paragraph
 _____________________________________________________

Third Topic sentence

Paragraph Specific evidence

____________________________________________________

Fourth Topic sentence

Paragraph Specific evidence

______________________________________________

Fifth

Paragraph Conclusion

Figure 2. The essay Model

What I Have Lived For

By Bertrand Russell

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the
longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of
mankind. Three passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a
wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
(The statement is the main idea or thesis statement.)

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstacy---ecstacy so great that I would
often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it,
next, because it relieves loneliness---that terrible loneliness in which one shivering
consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold, unfathomable, lifeless
abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic
miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined.
This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what---
at last--- I have found. (This paragraph is about love.)

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the
hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to
apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little
of this, but not much, I have achieved. (This paragraph talks about knowledge.)

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens.
But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes and cries of pain reverberate in my
heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated
burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a
mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I
too suffer. (This paragraph is about pity.)

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if
the chance were offered me. (This last paragraph is the summary or conclusion.)

Exercise:

1.What are the transition words used in the above essay “What I have lived for”?

2. Write a five-paragraph essay on a topic of your choice. Below is the rubric of an

essay that your points will be based on.

Focus Content Organization Style Conventions

The single The presence The order The choice, Grammar,
controlling of ideas developed and use and mechanics,
point made developed sustained within arrangement spelling,
with an through facts, and across of words and usage and
awareness of example, paragraphs using sentence sentence
5 task about a anecdotes, transitional structures formation.
specific topic. details, devices and that create
opinions, including tone and
statistics introduction and voice.
reasons, and conclusion
for
explanations
Sharp, distinct Substantial, Sophisticated Precise, Evident
controlling specific, and arrangement of illustrative control of
 point made /or illustrative content with use of a grammar,
about a single content evident and /or variety of mechanics,
topic with demonstrating subtle words and spelling,
evident strong transitions. sentence usage and
4 awareness of development structures to sentence
task. and create formation.
sophisticated consistent
ideas. writer’s voice
and tone
appropriate
to audience.
Apparent point Sufficiently Functional Generic use Sufficient
made about a developed arrangement of of a variety of control of
single topic content with content that words and grammar,
with sufficient adequate sustains a logical sentence mechanics,
awareness of elaboration or order with some structures spelling,
task. explanation. evidence of that may or usage and
3 transitions. may not sentence
create formation.
writer’s voice
and tone
appropriate
to audience.
No apparent Limited content Confused or Limited word Limited
point but with inconsistent choice and control of
evidence of a inadequate arrangement of control of grammar,
specific topic elaboration or content with or sentence mechanics,
2 explanation. without attempts structures spelling,
at transition. that inhibit usage and
voice and sentence
tone. formation.
Minimal Superficial Minimal control Minimal Minimal
evidence of a and/or minimal of content variety in control of
topic content. arrangement word choice grammar,
and minimal mechanics,
1 control of spelling,
sentence usage and
structures. sentence
formation.