Her vision flitted across the faces in the room, never settling on one thing but not really

seeing
anything. She didn’t think she could handle actually seeing the crowd filling the theatre. Her
gaze kept returning to the door, scanning faces and outfits, as if seeing every person who came
in would prevent her from being shocked or intrimidated by a new face in the crowd when she
went up on stage.

Her throat was dry, as if all the moisture in her body had rushed to her palms, that slipped and
slid against each other as she counted her knuckles mindlessly. She picked at a soft part of her
lips, feeling a sick pleasure at the twinge of pain from pulling it off sharply. It briefly distracted
her from the fishermarket that her mind had become, thoughts yelling over one another,
blending into nonsense, moving too fast to think coherently. Trying not to bruise her lips, she
leaned over her phone, opening a series of apps rapidly just so she could swipe up and clear
them all from the task manager.

She got up abruptly from her seat and walked to the sound managers backstage, unable to
silence the nagging fear that her mic would cut out mid sentence and she’d have to project her
voice to the crowd. “Did you check- did you check the mic? I just want to make sure you know?
It never hurts to be doubly sure because better safe than sorry is what my mom always says
and prevention is better than cure.” Her words came rushing out, breathless and distracted.
They good naturedly began checking her mic once more, as she hovered over them bouncing
on the balls of her feet. Sensing that she was no help to the sound managers she began pacing
back stage, mumbling her speech to herself, checking off the main points on her fingers
gesturing emphatically to remember how she practiced it. She looked into the mirror, and ran
her hands through her hair. Recalling the stage smile that she practiced at home, she smiled at
herself, trying to hold the expression.

“It’s time.” The coordinator ushered her gently toward the stage. She closed her eyes and took a
deep breath in, stepping onto the stage.